wrestling / Columns

Wrestling’s 4R’s Tuesday Edition 08.25.09: WWE Summerslam, TNA Impact, WWE Smackdown, and WWE Superstars

August 25, 2009 | Posted by Larry Csonka

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    In HD where available…


    By: Steve Cook

    Superstars 08.20.09:

  • THE RIGHT:

    Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly: I know one of the hot topics among people these days is how much KK is “improving”, but credit for this match goes 100% to the Glamazon, as Beth made Kelly look like a million bucks by making her offense look good. I hate to expose the business while talking about matches, but Kelly’s offense looks like the drizzling shits if there isn’t somebody to take it properly, and Beth was on her A game on this particular evening. These two do have a good chemistry and the perfect characters to play off each other, as Beth is the dominant heel who wants to destroy everybody while Kelly is the poor babyface who keeps getting beat up but tries to persevere no matter what the odds. It’s kind of like a very poor man’s Jazz vs. Trish Stratus, not that I’d compare Kelly to Trish, but Jazz & Beth’s finishers are pretty similar. Decent little Diva match to start the show, and any Diva match where nobody nearly gets killed is a decent one these days.

  • PURGATORY:

    NUTHIN

  • THE WRONG:

    Nobody wrestling on Summerfest appeared on this show: I don’t know if you know this or not, but apparently there was a big WWE show on Sunday. The second biggest of the year if you ask some people, although I prefer the Royal Rumble purely for the 30-man over the top rope battle royal with a staggered entry of participants. While Superstars did feature some video packages to put over the main matches on Summerfest/slam (as bad as Jeremy Piven was as a guest host of Raw, I think he’s had the biggest impact on people because I keep wanting to call Summerslam Summerfest), nobody that will be wrestling at Summerslam wrestled on this show. I understand that’s probably because they wanted the Summerslam wrestlers to wrestle on Raw, Smackdown or ECW so they could build their match, but it left Superstars woefully understaffed. I mean, when you’re hyping Mark Henry vs. Chris Masters all night as your main event…it ain’t exactly CM Punk vs. Edge, you know what I mean? If you’re going to eliminate the perception of Superstars as a show you can afford to miss, this ain’t gonna get it done.

    Is Shelton Benjamin a face or a heel?: I remember reading an ECW recap a couple of weeks ago where Shelton was singing like the guy from Hootie and the Blowfish and talking smack to Zack Ryder. It sounded kind of lame, but seemed to be leading towards a Benjamin face turn. Then he shows up on this week’s show wrestling Tyler Reks, who so far has been presented as a babyface and hasn’t done any sort of cheating in the matches of his that I’ve seen. The match was your typical paint-by-numbers affair…nothing to complain about, but nothing to rave about either. But I do have to wonder if WWE has any sort of an idea as for what they’re doing with Shelton Benjamin. Obviously somebody thinks something of him, as he went over the rookie here, but what is his motivation? Should we cheer him or boo him? These are questions that the people need to know the answers to, and we’re getting mixed signals these days. And not in the fun Russo kind where everybody’s a shade of gray. Decide what Shelton is and push him one-way or the other. If he isn’t a good heel, make him a face. Obviously there’s talent there, which I’ve been hyping ever since I saw him beat Triple H live and in person on a Raw telecast in Cincinnati in 2004. The charisma isn’t quite there, but he can be as entertaining as anybody between the ropes. Give him a direction and don’t confuse me with his booking…that isn’t asking too much, is it?

    Speaking of people without a direction, how bout that R-Truth?: Continuing a trend of putting over people in limbo, R-Truth won a match against Charlie Haas this week. The fact that Manu Bumb sent me an e-mail asking if Vince remembered that R-Truth was on the roster tells me that this young man’s direction is somewhat muddied. It seemed like they were building Killings up as a nice little mid-card babyface that gets a rise out of the crowd with his “What’s Up” routine, but then they started doing this “Pretty Ricky” stuff that was apparently some reference to a movie that I didn’t see. Maybe if I was like J.D. Dunn and was on top of every pop culture reference ever I would have got something out of it, but it did nothing for me. At least R-Truth is getting some sort of attention from WWE Creative, unlike Charlie Haas, who with the exception of a reunion with Shelton Benjamin that lasted for like two weeks has done nothing in 2009. Seriously, has he done anything of record this year? I’m drawing a blank. Haas certainly has some in-ring skill, and we’ve seen it showcased in the past, but it seems as if they’re happy to just have him put people over now. Well, as long as he gets some money to support Miss Jackie and the kids I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. The match itself was just like the Benjamin vs. Reks match, short and nothing to write home about.

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    Mark Henry vs. Chris Masters: Remember several weeks ago when Mark Henry made his big comeback to Raw from ECW by defeating Randy Orton? It seemed as if a star could have been born…but since then Henry hasn’t done a whole hell of a lot. Recently he’s been protecting Hornswoggle from Chavo Guerrero, which while I did laugh at Mizark wearing ‘Swoggle’s hat one week, rates pretty low on the totem pole of things Henry could be useful for if built properly. It seems like they’re doing everything to make sure that Mark Henry isn’t a legitimate threat to anybody’s championship, including not even letting him beat Chris Masters with the World’s Strongest Slam. Come on…I’d bet that I’m as big a Chris Masters fan as anybody on this website, but nobody would think any less of him if he lost to Henry’s finisher. I can hear some of you saying that this could build up a feud with the two…while I’m high on both Henry & Masters, both need somebody better than them in order to have consistently good wrestling matches. Putting them together…well, it wouldn’t be Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules level bad, but it certainly wouldn’t be good either. Having a finisher killed to produce a lame finish and possibly build up a feud that would be bad ensures this match’s place in the Ridiculous section. And yes, I’m a big believer in protecting finishing moves. Sue me!

    The 411

    This was a totally skippable show that featured one match that I got something out of. And since it was Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly…yeah. Allow me to finish by calling Michael Cole out on something…why are you bragging about Raw producing the last two Superstars main events when both were arguably the worst match of their respective shows? That’s not something I’d want to point out.

    SHOW RATING: 5.0



    By: Daniel Wilcox

    iMpact! 08.20.09:

  • THE RIGHT:

    Street Fight – British Invasion vs. Beer Money: This was a great way to kick off the wrestling portion of Impact with a Hard Justice rematch, with the added stipulation. These guys had a good match at the pay-per-view and a better one here, with Beer Money and notably James Storm bringing that extra intensity. This match was the shit and has me looking forward to future encounters.

    Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne: Madison Rayne never quite fit into The Beautiful People. For one, she wasn’t as Beautiful as Angelina or Velvet, and furthermore, she’s not quite as charismatic either. The Beautiful People work better as a twosome, and this was a good way to kick Madison out of the group, a kick squash at the hands of Angelina. Love looked dominant here, which is good because that joke of a title match at the pay-per-view could’ve really damaged her and Velvet.

    X Division Championship Match: There’s not too much here that needs to be said. This was another good match from these two, but at the end of the day it is what we’ve come to expect. Despite the commercial, this match did get a fair amount of time and as a result we saw one of the better matches we’ve seen for weeks on Impact. I don’t need to see these two go at it again for a while though, let’s move on.

    The Pope vs. Consequences Creed: A solid Impact debut for The Pope D’Angelo Dinero, formerly Elijah Burke in WWE, for the two of you who may not have been aware. Dinero looked GREAT in that crazy-ass Steel Asylum match at Hard Justice and this was a great follow up, which makes me think that the guy has a bright and long future in TNA and justifies all the people who said WWE made a mistake in letting him go. The feud with Suicide has potential, but I’m not sure if we have the right face/heel alignment here. Time will tell.

    Tables Match – Morgan and Angle vs. 3D: So our main event was a somewhat random tables match between The Dudleyz and a team who may or may not get along in Angle and Matt Morgan. For the most part, they got on, it worked well. They all worked really hard and had a pretty good match, and I did like the ending in particular with Angle inadvertently causing his team’s downfall. I am intrigued by the whole Morgan/Angle thing and I really hope TNA manages to make it work. I think they’ll struggle to build Morgan, Hernandez and Lashley all as threats to the title but that’s what they’re going for. And right now, I’ve got more interested in Morgan than the other two, so they’re obviously getting something right.

  • PURGATORY:

    Knockout’s 4-Way: This was just a way to get a bunch of Knockout’s onto the show, hype the tag tourney next week, and continue pushing Traci. It wasn’t a bad match by any means but it was the weakest on the show too. Furthermore, I think the wrong chick went over, but there wasn’t certainly nothing offensive here. Move along.

    AJ Contemplates Retirement: I didn’t really dig this angle. I don’t see why AJ would contemplate retirement. So he’s lost a few matches, a meaningless title, and a few friends. Boo fucking hoo, was pretty much all I could think during his promo. But, I can’t really fault his delivery, and overall it was a pretty good segment. I’m just not a fan of these kinds of angles. That said, I’m not willing to totally condemn because this could lead to a much more interesting angle with the Sting involvement. That said, outside of Flair’s, has there ever been a good retirement angle in wrestling?

  • THE WRONG:

    The Mafia Opens the Show: I’ve mentioned this for the past several weeks, and NOW it’s become ridiculous. I could go back and check, but I don’t how far back I’d have to go; the Main Event Mafia has, to the best of my knowledge, opened up every edition of Impact for the past several months. It’s boring, stale, predictable, formulaic, and now it’s getting on my nerves. Worst of all, it’s damn lazy. Sort this shit out, please.

    Knockout’s Tag Team Championship: OK, so TNA has had worse ideas, but I’m really not feeling this. It’s clearly a bad idea if for no other reason than the fact that a lot of the teams are being thrown together at random. WWE unified their tag team titles as they didn’t have enough teams to make two sets of tag belts viable, and now TNA is doing the opposite, bringing in new titles when they’re aren’t enough contenders for the straps. Furthermore, the Knockout’s Division is something of a joke right now anyway, what with Cody Deaner being Knockout Champion and all. They do have some new faces who have just started with the company, but they need establishing first before they’re thrown into a tag scene. The division needs stabilizing. I’m not saying it’s never going to be a good idea, but now is not the right time. TNA needs four or five more talents, as well as established teams, in order to run a tag division and a singles Knockout division at the same time.

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    Cody Deaner and ODB Bullshit: This is something else I’ve commented on a lot in the past, and with the dispute over who’s the Knockout Champion, this shit has just got even worse. These are two of the worst characters in wrestling right now. And yet we’re supposed to take the Knockout’s Division seriously. Give Angelina her title back and fuck off.

    The 411

    This was a pretty strong show with an emphasis on wrestling. We got four really good matches, an entertaining squash and an acceptable Knockout’s four-way, which is more wrestling than we’ve seen on Impact for what seems like an age. On top of that, they’re building some intriguing angles and I’m, interested in the more characters on the roster than I have been in a long time. After a dire show a few weeks ago, TNA is on a little bit of a roll.

    SHOW RATING: 7.5



    By: Jeremy Thomas

    WWE SmackDown 08.21.09

  • THE RIGHT:

    REY MYSTERIO & CRYME TYME vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER, CHRIS JERICHO & BIG SHOW: Things like this are why I love Friday nights; when they start off with a match, they start off with one that has a lot of potential to be great. They promoted the IC Title and Tag Title matches as the entrances were made and Rey Rey got down with Shad and JTG a bit. Dolph came down without Maria by his side but with the crowd solidly against him. It still amazes me to this day that Dolph has become such a player in the ‘E considering his terribly inauspicious start. This started off really well with Jericho and Rey Rey in the ring; they’ve of course put on some fantastic matches and starting them off together was a great idea for the match. That’s not to take anything away from the other people in the match though. A lot of time the free TV six-man matches seem way to rushed and nothing more than barely-controlled chaos; everyone in this match felt in control and in synch as they took their time and focused on making a good match as well as making the case for the SummerSlam matches. Cryme Tyme did some nicely innovative double-team moves against Jericho and it looked crisply executed, and then Show came in to look very dominating while Jericho shouted from the corner. Everyone looked good here and Dolph got the win in an asshole-ish way, which completely works and adds some heat to their SummerSlam match. What more can you ask for?

    MATT IS BACK: After a recap of Punk’s attacks on Jeff Hardy over the last couple of weeks and Matt’s running in for the save, we went backstage to where Josh Matthews was standing by with the Sensei of Mattitude. Josh asked Matt about the sabotage and betrayal and whether Matt’s had a change of heart. Matt played it well and talked about their relationship, how he always looked after Jeff and how he got jealous. It actually played well into where Matt was when he turned heel since he was talking about the same sort of things with the looking out for Jeff as an older brother and so on, but he about-faced it well enough that it came off as believable. They can completely spin this both ways; Matt can stay face (which I would prefer) and become the successor to the Hardy legacy as he takes on Punk if/when Jeff leaves after SummerSlam, or he can be using it to play Jeff for a fool. Either way I thought Matt came across well here, playing it serious and understated, and it did exactly what it needed to in providing some answers.

    CM PUNK IS BETTER THAN YOU: At the end of the first hour, we came back from break to see the ring loaded with Tables, Ladders and Chairs. T-Grish and J.R. talked about how Jeff was walking underneath the ladders without fear…which I think they mention every damn time he comes down for a ladder match or the like. Day-Glo let the Hardy chant go on for a tiny bit before he got on the mic and talked about how he’s at peace with Matt and how they made the TLC match famous, how he was being told by the doctors to retire before it’s too late but he wasn’t going to start following doctor’s orders now. Jeff is very good when he talks about TLC in metaphorical terms; this wasn’t his best work and he went over the top a few times, but it was far from terrible too.

    Unfortunately for Jeff, down to the ring came CM Punk. I say “unfortunately” because Punk pretty much blew Jeff away on the mic. He had some great little inflections, asking Jeff if he was nervous being up there and so…HIGH. He accused both Jeff and the crowd of being drunk and said that everyone thought Hardy could beat Punk, that TLC was his match. He countered that it would be Jeff’s last match. He finally came out with it, that winning would prove that being Straightedge meant that he was better than Jeff. A lot of people were waiting for that moment and it came off well. Getting rid of Jeff, Punk said, was the only way for him to get through to people. They were obviously hinting at Jeff’s departure from the ‘E with Punk talking about removing him and such, and it almost seems like too much. See, THIS is why the big surprises that the ‘E have done have worked; they make some of us wonder if this references are just the ‘E working us or not, which leaves a sense of mystery to things. Jeff then busted out an incredibly iffy line, saying that he doesn’t think he can fly, his spirit KNOWS he can. I nearly got whiplash from rolling my eyes there. Outside of that, I did dig this and it was good stuff.

    CM PUNK & THE HART DYNASTY vs. JOHN MORRISON & THE HARDY BOYZ: The heels came out first for this one, and awesomely the Hart Dynasty actually had as strong of a crowd reaction as Punk. Similarly, all three of the faces had some good, strong crowd reactions as Morrison gave us the best entrance in professional wrestling today, then Matt & Jeff came down to their old Hardys theme song. That’s a hell of a lot of talent in the ring right there folks, and they sure as hell didn’t disappoint. They got about thirteen minutes and used every moment of it well. Morrison and Kidd had some awesome exchanges in the opening moments, including a kippup into a break-dancing routine that rocked the house. Matt and Jeff looked to be on the same page, and didn’t look as if they’d lost a single step. At the same time you had the Harts providing the tag team opposition here and looking very credible against the faces. This wasn’t an absolute thrill-a-second match but there was no poor or even lukewarm moment here as everything was well-paced and well-executed. Matt got the pin to end the match which puts him in a strong spot should he take up his brother’s mantle, and all in all this was just great work. I loved it.

  • PURGATORY:

    MIKE KNOX vs. FINLAY: Last week I mentioned how I was cautiously optimistic that Knox was Finlay’s newest project to try and get over, because Knox deserves another shot. I also called his promo creepy but generic, and said they’d have to follow up with something good for it to go anywhere. So we got another promo before this match, pre-taped. Knox was wearing glasses and talked about fear paralysis reflex in clinical terms and how it was affecting Finlay. I have to say I loved that they put the man in glasses and groomed his beard, he looked like some kind of shirtless psychologist in the inset promo. It was again creepy and vaguely generic, but we’ll have to see where it goes before I give it a thumbs up or down.

    Finlay then came down, but seemed distracted on his way to the ring. I expected him to have more of an “I’m pissed and going to kick your ass” attitude but he seemed coming down like it was just any match. That changed when they got into the ring and these two put on a match that seemed to be intending to put Knox’s gimmick over. He was targeting Finlay’s back which as T-Grish noted was a nod to his promo last week about how damage to the spine, and they let the psychology play in just a little bit with the first Celtic Cross attempt failing. The ending was a little weak—I still hate the obsessive DQ’s for breaking the five-count on beat downs—but it did what it needed to do. Afterward Knox went after Finlay and not even a shillelagh shot could stop him. This is a project in progress and there were things I liked and didn’t like, so this is “wait and see” for now still.

    MELINA & MELINA vs. NATALYA & LAYLA: You know, I was pretty worried about this one. We had Michelle on the mic doing commentary while we had a women’s tag team match, which doesn’t often go that well. And early on, I had every reason to be worried as Maria and Layla looked far from crisp starting out the match. Once Melina came in and things went to the outside, things picked up. Layla took control after Melina attacked Michelle and then Nattie got tagged in. Basically, this was pretty decent when Maria wasn’t in the ring, and sucked in the moments when she was. We had Nattie locking in a surfboard into a sick-looking Dragon sleeper, and you can talk about how Melina is nothing more than flexibility all you want folks but that was just damn impressive-looking. Unfortunately what nearly killed it for me was the out-of-nowhere ending. It seemed like a seven or eight minute match that had to end for no apparent reason five minutes in, as Melina hit her bad-ass flip powerbomb thingy out of nowhere. They’re obviously building to Melina/Michelle III, and that also speaks volumes about the depth of the women’s roster on SmackDown. They really have no watchable program besides those two, and while I enjoy watching them wrestle they have to give us something else eventually.

  • THE WRONG:

    KANE IS (YAWN) EVIL: Kane made his way down to the ring as we saw Kane attacking Khali a couple weeks ago, then kidnapping Ranjin Singh and dragging him of so he could torture and interrogate him last week. Now, I’ve always been a fan of Kane despite the crappy storylines he’s been in, and he’s always tried his damnedest to get those storylines over. That being said, this was pretty much phoning it in. There was nothing inspired by this promo, it seemed like every other Evil Kane promo. Kane hates, his opponent is weak, blah blah blah, he’s going to put an end to said opponent. Rinse, lather, repeat. Has Kane truly “put an end” to anyone, other than the fake Kane? I don’t think he has. Kane said he wasn’t afraid of Khali but the reverse wasn’t true, and this brought out Khali who swatted away Kane’s chair and then started beating the crap out of him. Okay, so I appreciate that this got Khali’s bad-ass groove back a little, but it totally made Kane look like a bitch. A good promo or segment puts both men over, and this certainly didn’t do that. Add to the fact that Kane just didn’t seem into it, and neither was I.

    WORD UP: Wow, they’re really pushing Jeezy into the gimmick, aren’t they? Credit to him for going all out with the look, even if I don’t think he’s going to go anywhere with it. Apparently Cryme Tyme was all pissy because of their upcoming match, which brought out the Word of the Day: suspect. Jeezy gave the two a pep talk and then showed some transvestite Jericho and Big Show with food pictures. Oh god, Jeezy’s looking like an official member of the group. This was short, it was harmless, but it didn’t offer anything new. Jericho and Show are Christina and Fat Boy, yes, we know. I didn’t have a huge problem with it, it just didn’t do anything for me and I didn’t see the point.

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.

    The 411

    The Blue Brand did a great go-home show to give us the hard sell for SummerSlam, and spotlighted almost all of their PPV matches well. Kane & Khali was boring and the Word Up segment didn’t have any real positive effect, but otherwise I more or less enjoyed the whole show. They both built the PPV up and potentially set things up for after Sunday, which is a level of forethought that is nice to see.

    SHOW RATING: 8.0

    From JUSTINW:
    Legacy beating down DX was absolutely golden. It was their shining moment, thus far, in their young careers. Sure, it will likely lead to DX winning to close out the show, as is rumored to end the PPV, but for this past week’s RAW, they looked like true stars and actually credible.

    I did like that Priceless looked credible in there. They really did and I loved that. But I was really irked by all the build-up they did that just led to nothing. That’s what kept it out of the Right…it felt like a bait and switch.

    From The Great Capt. Smooth:
    I heard recently that Macaulay Culkin was actually considered for the role of the adult Anakin Skywalker. Also, I agree that FPJr. was great in his role. That whole segment was just fun to watch.

    That’s one rumor I’ve never heard, but damn. Culkin as adult Anakin would have been gloriously awesome or gloriously bad.

    From Truth Detector:
    “MICKIE JAMES vs. GAIL KIM: Oh, how the hell did THIS go wrong?”

    Because Gail Kim is over rated and has ALWAYS been a danger to herself and other wrestlers with her botches.

    Personal opinion there, Detector. I don’t think she’s overrated, and I think that she gets a lot of shit for her infamous first-match botch and people don’t let her live that down. Everyone botches from time to time. I don’t hear people saying Lesnar was overrated because he badly botched the shooting star press, I think Gail needs to slow down and take the time to do her shit right, but I do think you’re taking the argument a bit far.

    From Arrr:
    Didn’t like the Miz’s new look too much. Why did they make him appear as a generic jobber all of a sudden? He looks now like any of those random dudes who appear to get their asses kicked by Kozlov / Ezekiel.

    I get the feeling that the new look was Miz’s choice. And probably, it’s for the best. Even little changes like that can force people to look at someone anew, and it might help people look past the end of the Miz-Cena era.

    From Shockmaster:
    KOFI KINGSTON vs. CARLITO: While this wasn’t on par with what we’re seeing on SmackDown, by Raw standards I really liked it and want more. These two have complimentary styles and could put on a 15-20 minute classic. At least give Carlito credit for being able to wrestle with his hair in his eyes.

    THE MIZ vs. EVAN BOURNE: Miz needed a new finisher, but the Stroke? Wonder if it’s payback for JJ using the Pedigree as a transition move recently.

    THE D-X RETURN: Hunter said he’s “bi a lot of things”, hence the bi-annual DX reunion. Most seem to hate this, but it keeps HUNTOR out of the main event for once, so I’ll live.

    MVP vs. SWAGGER: These two booked flights, went through air travel, checked into hotels, got to the arena in good clothes per the dress code. Then they sat back and waited hours to go on, and got this. No entrances and one pointless minute. They could have had a day to rest and be with their families while saving money.

    MICKIE JAMES vs. GAIL KIM: Four days later and no info. What happened? If Gail was hurt, why didn’t they “take it home” right away? Is it her responsibility or the ref’s to make that call? I’d like to know if Gail is okay, and what will come of this. As for Gail’s lack of reaction, has she spoken a word since her return? Why WOULD anyone not watching TNA care about her?

    I think Carlito deserves a lot of credit, and has a lot of talent. And luckily, he’s not letting his motivation become an issue. But yes, they absolutely could put on a much longer match and keep me interested. I don’t mind the Stroke as a finisher really for Miz, I always liked the movie. As for D-X, I love that they’re back, and I love that they’re trying to give Priceless a rub. I just think this moment could have come off better. And finally, I imagine that the ‘E just wants to pretend the Gail thing didn’t happen. I completely agree that they need to let Gail talk, at least somewhat. She’s not terrible on the mic, after all.

    From Guest#7899:
    The reason the Gail/Mickie match sucked was pretty simple. Gail is overrated. But guess what? So is Mickie. Double standards are amazing. When people convince themselves that somebody is a “great worker”, they ignore all the flaws. How many weeks has Mickie botched moves left and right, and her fans rush out to say “she had an off night”? She’s been having crappy matches for at least two years now. Oh yeah, and while Gail might be sloppy, at least she has a fast pace. How the hell do you get winded less than two minutes into a match? Ask Mickie, she can tell you.

    She has never been the classiest person out there, as her indie days have proven, but I think her recent anger issues have been a real eye opener for a lot of people. She acted like a total unprofessional on Raw, just like she did when she fought Maryse. She acts like her opponents are worthless, when she hasn’t done anything of note since 2006. You know, the year she got to work with the two most popular divas ever.

    She’s getting fat, her face is starting to really get bad(not that she was ever pretty to begin with), her acting and promos are atrocious, and whatever skills she might have had are vanishing. Unless she does a complete 180 in the next few months, I think her ass is gone by the end of the year. Good riddance.

    Wow. I don’t even know what to say to this, except to say that someone seems to have a vendetta. Also, if you consider Mickie James “fat,” then welcome to reality my friend. Just sayin’. Thanks for reading though!



    By: Larry Csonka

    WWE SUMMERSLAM 2009:
    MATCH RESULTS:
    – IC TITLE MATCH: Rey Mysterio © defeated Dolph Ziggler @ 12:30 via pin {***½}
    – MVP defeated Jack Swagger @ 6:20 via pin {*½}
    – UNIFIED TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Chris Jericho and The Big Show © 10:00 defeated Cryme Tyme @ via pin {**¼}
    – Kane defeated The Great Khali @ 6:00 via pin {¼*}
    – DX defeated Legacy @ 20:10 via pin {***¾}
    – ECW TITLE MATCH: Christian © defeated William Regal @ 0:08 via pin {N-R}
    – WWE TITLE MATCH: Randy Orton © defeated John Cena @ 17:40 via CLUSTERFUCK {**}
    – WORLD TITLE TLC MATCH: CM Punk defeated Jeff Hardy to become the NEW World Champion @ {****½}

  • THE RIGHT:

    IC TITLE MATCH: This was a great choice for the opener, with then being in LA, Rey was going to be mad over. This is the match that I wish they had at the last PPV, because Ziggler needed a career making performance. But it is far from too late, and he stepped up his game at Summerslam, and delivered his best performance, in a singles match to date. While I personally thought it was time to pull the title change, I will say that the loss didn’t hurt Ziggler. His performance was great, he had plenty of offense and near falls, and at one point, the crowd was chanting “Let’s go Ziggler”. Cool finish as Ret countered the Malenko top rope gut buster into a RNA for the win. This was a great opener, with fast, crisp and clean action, and overall a great way to kick off the show.

    DX defeated Legacy: I will fully admit, I was VERY worried about this match. I was having flashbacks to the Spirit Squad BERRIALS on one of the biggest shows of the year. I have said time and time again, it is not IF you lose, it is HOW you lose. There is losing, and JOBBING. Dolph Ziggler lost, but looked good in defeat. There is an art to it. The crowd was clearly here to see DX, and the reaction on their entrance was proof of that. Thankfully it transferred to Legacy, as they had more heat than they have had thus far in their careers. Thankfully we got a VERY good match here. The basic story was that Legacy was able to counter almost all of the “usual” spots from HHH and HBK, and that allowed them to keep control and look dominant. The match was booked the way it had to be booked, I personally would have liked to see Legacy go over here, and play off of the attack on Monday, but WWE wanted DX to win on the big show, so that’s what happened. Really fun match though, semi-anti-climatic finish, but it worked.

    CM Punk, The Good News Is That You Just Won The World Title. The Bad News Is…: There were rumors in the week that this may not be the main event, but I have to say I am glad that they made the right call. This not being the main event would have been a horrible call. There was a ton of hype for the match, and rightfully so as these are two guys that can deliver. I have to say that they lived up to the hype and delivered an amazing main event. Both guys worked hard, they gave up moments to remember and built to a great climax at the end. If this is indeed Hardy’s swan song for now, he should be proud of himself, because he did everything he could to make the match something to remember. This was simply an amazing main event on a show that really needed it. So Jeff is basically dead, Punk stands over him and we get a light flicker. I figured that we would just get the tease, but we got the GONG, and lights out. When the lights came back on, Punk was still standing there, smiling as if nothing was wrong. Unfortunately for him, the Undertaker was laying where Jeff was, and SHIT WAS ON! Chokeslam for you Punk! The good news for you is that you just won the World Title. The bad news, you’re going to have to go through Death Valley to keep it. Great main event and a good way to end the show, as Punk is firmly established in the main event, and the program with Taker proves that.

  • PURGATORY:

    UNIFIED TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Unified Tag Team Title match was the third match of the show. Jeri-Show has some spiffy new music, which is better than the previous splice, and it is one of those things that I appreciate, as it solidifies them as a team. At around 10-minutes the first 5-minutes or so were very slow, Slow as if they were building to a 20-minute match. Slow can be fine if you are building to the climax of drama, but it never quite got there. Overall the match was good, but not what it needed to be I feel. Jeri-Show were going to win, because having Chris Jericho on SD and Raw is something WWE wants right now. They gave a lot to Cryme Tyme, and while they didn’t disappoint, they still haven’t stepped up on PPV like they need to if they ever want to carry the ball. The end was good because JTG was able to survive the walls, only to eat the KO shot from the giant Show. Match was fine, but I wanted more.

  • THE WRONG:

    MVP defeated Jack Swagger : The second match of the evening was MVP vs. Jack Swagger. Judging by the way they “built” to the match on Monday, I had this feeling hat the company did not care about the match. They should, because these guys are a part of the company’s future, and they should be treated as such, but in the deep waters of Raw, they are after thoughts. And that was proven with their match at Summerslam. They only got a tad over 6-minutes, and in the end, thy worked hard, but it was just a throwaway TV match to me. These guys deserved more time to showcase what they have on one of the biggest PPV’s of the year, but they didn’t get that because we got treated to 6-minutes of the catch as catch can classic that was Kane vs. Khali.

    WWE TITLE MATCH a.k.a. AND PEOPLE SAY THAT TNA OVERBOOKS SHIT: I will start out saying that the crowd was very into this, and that they were on their way to a good match. But then, then shit just fell off a cliff, Thelma and Louise style. At about 13:30 Orton did the shove the ref DQ finish, which has worked before, but is not repetitive. Lillian then announced ORTON as the NEW WWE Champion, (UGH) and then also announced that the match would be restarted, and if Orton got DQ’d again, he would lose the title. So at 15:34, we got the predictable Orton count out. We would again get the match restarted, and Orton would eventually get the pin at about 16:00. BUT WAIT. Orton had his feet on the ropes, and another ref ran in, and they restarted the match AGAIN. This was like Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome at that WCW PPV in Canada, but instead of screwing the baby face and garnering sympathy, they made Cena look like a complete fucking goof. Cena locked in the STFU on the restart, but a fan/plant Brett DiBiase ran into the ring. This led to confusion and Orton finally getting the win with the RKO. I get what they were trying to do, but they went way overboard doing it, and it killed my enjoyment.

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    Kane defeated The Great Khali: Kane vs. Khali was a feud that no one cared about. It was the one dark cloud on Smackdown recently, which has been an excellent show. They seem to be making Kane a monster again and positioning his strongly for his annual push for the title loss. Anyway, as far as the match was concerned, it was bad. It was slow, no one cared, they did a predictable finish involving Runjin Jabroni and Kane got the win. If their goal was to kill the crowd, they did it here.

  • THE RI-GOD-DAMN-DICULOUS:

    ECW TITLE: BERRIED~!: Let’s take a trip in the Delorean for a moment, because there is a trend here, and a sad one at that…

    ECW Title Match: Matt Hardy defeated Mark Henry @ 0:35 via DQ: There was one thing that I absolutely loathed on this PPV, and that was the ECW Title match. Does anyone remember last year on PPV when Punk defended against Big Daddy V, and they had Striker cause the DQ finish? Yeah, they did the same thing here tonight, just replace Striker with Atlas, V with Henry and Punk with Hardy. WWE continues to take a dump on the ECW Title when they do shit like this. And not this isn’t a rant on “the original ECW,” this is a rant on the “ECW Brand.” People wonder why ECW isn’t taken seriously, and this is a reason why right here.

    That’s right kids, for the third year in a row, the ECW gets fucked up the ass, minus the lube. But hey, fuck ECW, we had to have Khali vs. Kane and the 5-minute DX entrance. Now listen, I know that DX means buys, and that the ECW Title pretty much doesn’t. And the title doesn’t mean a damn thing because they continually treat the title like shit at the big events. Three Summerslams and a WrestleMania have seen the title treated very poorly, and when the fans see that on the big event, they are conditioned not to care. The sad part is that the match had all kinds of potential to be a very good WRESTLING MATCH. Oh well, that’s not the company’s priority right now, STARFUCKING is.

    The 411

    Some people seem to think that this was a blow away PPV, but I cannot agree with that, there were too many pieces missing for it to be a blow away show. Overall this was a “good” show, with problems, and for a big show, it felt like this year’s Mania, good, but under achieving. The positive is that the opener and main event delivered very well, along with the DX vs. Legacy match. Those were three strong matches that helped this PPV from complete mediocrity. Kane vs. Khali sucked, the WWE Title match was a clusterfuck of a mess, MVP and Swagger needed more time and the tag match was fine. The ECW Title BERRIAL was shit, plain and simple, and shows that they do not care about it. I want to say this in closing. I feel that they are really defeating the purpose of trying to make new stars. They can talk about it all they want, and while Ziggler, Cryme Tyme and Legacy looked good in defeat, seeing all of them lose, and seeing MVP and Swagger get shit for time makes me think that it will just continue to be talk. I hope I am wrong, but they aren’t giving me any evidence to make me think that I am.

    SHOW RATING: 7.0


  • **LARRY’S** RANKINGS THUS FAR
  • 2009 PPV Rankings:
    ROH RISING ABOVE {8.0}
    WWE NO WAY OUT {8.0}
    TNA SLAMMIVERSARY {8.0}

    TNA SACRIFICE {7.5}
    WWE BACKLASH {7.5}
    TAKE NO PRISONERS {7.4}
    WWE ROYAL RUMBLE {7.3}
    TNA GENESIS {7.2}
    TNA LOCKDOWN {7.2}
    ROH CAGED COLLISION {7.1}
    WWE WRESTLEMANIA {7.0}
    WWE SUMMERSLAM {7.0}

    WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS {6.9}
    WWE THE BASH {6.9}
    WWE EXTREME RULES {6.8}

    WWE JUDGMENT DAY {6.5}

    TNA HARD JUSTICE {5.9}
    TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS {5.5}

    TNA DESTINATION X {3.5}

    TNA VICTORY ROAD {2.0}


  • 2009 TOP PPV Match Rankings:
    [WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK vs. The Undertaker (*****)

    [ROH RISING ABOVE] – ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Bryan Danielson (****½)
    [WWE NO WAY OUT] – THE SMACKDOWN ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****½)
    [WWE BACKLASH] – LAST MAN STANDING: Edge vs. John Cena (****½)
    [WWE THE BASH] – MASK vs. TITLE: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (****½)
    [WWE SUMMERSLAM] – TLC WORLD TITLE MATCH: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk (****½)

    [TAKE NO PRISONERS] – Tyler Black & KENTA vs. Austin Aries & Katsuhiko Nakajima (****¼)
    [ROH RISING ABOVE] – I QUIT MATCH: Jimmy Jacobs vs. Austin Aries (****¼)
    [TNA GENESIS] – Kurt Angle defeated Jeff Jarrett (****¼)
    [TNA GENESIS] – X-Division Title Match: Alex Shelley defeated Chris Sabin (****¼)
    [TNA SLAMMIVERSARY] – X-Division King of the Mountain Match: Suicide vs. Lethal vs. Creed vs. Sabin vs. Shelley (****¼)
    [WWE NO WAY OUT] – THE RAW ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****¼)

    [WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS] – WORLD TITLE MATCH: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy (****)
    [WWE EXTREME RULES] – IC TITLE MATCH: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (****)
    [WWE EXTREME RULES] – WORLD TITLE LADDER MATCH: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy (****)
    [TNA SLAMMIVERSARY] – TNA World Title King of the Mountain Match: Foley vs. Angle vs. AJ vs. Joe vs. Jarrett (****)

    [ROH CAGED COLLISION] #1 CONTENDERS MATCH – Tyler Black vs. Jimmy Jacobs vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries (***¾)
    [ROH CAGED COLLISION] ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH – Nigel McGuinness vs. El Generico (***¾)
    [TNA SACRIFICE] – I QUIT LEGENDS TITLE MATCH – Booker T vs. AJ Styles © (***¾)
    [TNA SACRIFICE] – Eric Young and Lethal Consequences vs. The Machineguns and Sheik Abdul Bashir (***¾)
    [TNA LOCKDOWN] – PHILLY STREET FIGHT: IWGP vs. TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH – Team 3D vs. Beer Money (***¾)
    [TNA DESTINATION X] – X-Division Title Ultimate X Match: Suicide defeated Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal (***¾)
    [TNA HARD JUSTICE] – X-Division Title #1 Contender’s TERROR DOME Match: Christopher Daniels defeated Suicide, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed, Amazing Red, D’Angelo Dinero and Jay Lethal (***¾)
    [WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH (***¾)
    [WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – WWE TITLE MATCH: Edge defeated Jeff Hardy (***¾)
    [WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – MONEY IN THE BANK (***¾)
    [WWE JUDGMENT DAY] – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (***¾)
    [WWE SUMMERSLAM] – DX vs. Legacy (***¾)


  • 2009 PPV MVP AWARDS:
    Not every PPV will have one, it just depends on who I think steps up and deserves some extra recognition.

    [TNA GENESIS] Sabin, Shelley, Angle and Jarrett – Rocking The House
    [ROH RISING ABOVE] – Danielson and McGuinness – Defining the ROH World Title
    [WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – RVD – The Joke Pays Off
    [WWE NO WAY OUT] – EDGE – The Ultimate Opportunist
    [WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK and The Undertaker – Stealing the Show
    [ROH CAGED COLLISION] – Nigel McGuinness – Better Than You Sugar Nuts
    [TNA LOCKDOWN] – Christopher Daniels – Pulling Double Duty
    [WWE BACKLASH] – Edge and John Cena – Stealing the Show
    [TNA SACRIFICE] – The TNA Roster – Making the Best Out of Shitty Booking
    [WWE EXTREME RULES] – Rey, Jericho, Edge and Hardy – They Are Awesome
    [TAKE NO PRISONERS] – Tyler Black, KENTA, Austin Aries and Katsuhiko Nakajima – Main Event Excellence
    [TNA SLAMMIVERSARY] – Daffney and Taylor Wilde – Two Hardcore Bitches
    [WWE THE BASH] – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho – Making the Show Worth It
    [WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS] – CM Punk – Solidifying His Spot
    [TNA HARD JUSTICE] – The Terror Dome Guys – Continuing to deliver despite the booking of the division
    [WWE SUMMERSLAM] – CM Punk and Jeff Hardy – THIS IS AWESOME!


  • 2009 TOP TV Match Rankings:
    I will update as often as needed.

    Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 07.25.09) {****½ }

    Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio – (Smackdown: 07.10.09) {****¼}
    ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Jerry Lynn vs. Austin Aries vs. Tyler Black vs. Bryan Danielson – (ROH on HDNet: 06.06.09) {****¼}
    TABLES ARE LEGAL TAG TITLE MATCH: Kevin Steen and El Generico © vs. The American Wolves – (ROH on HDNet: 05.30.09) {****¼}

    Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison – (Smackdown: 07.31.09) {****}
    Edge vs. Rey Mysterio – (Smackdown: 06.05.09) {****}
    Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 04.25.09) {****}
    Evan Bourne vs. John Morrison – (ECW: 04.14.09) {****}
    Christian vs. Jack Swagger – (ECW: 02.24.09) {****}
    Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena – (Raw: 01.12.09) {****}

    Christian vs. Zack Ryder – (ECW: 07.28.09) {***¾}
    Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho – (Smackdown: 07.24.09) {***¾}
    Edge vs. John Morrison – (Smackdown: 06.12.09) {***¾}
    Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk – (Raw: 06.08.09) {***¾}
    Edge vs. Jeff Hardy – (Smackdown: 06.12.09) {***¾}
    CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho – (Superstars: 05.21.09) {***¾}
    Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 05.09.09) {***¾}
    Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries – (ROH on HDNet: 04.04.09) {***¾}
    Beer Money vs. Team Canada – (Impact: 02.19.09) {***¾}
    Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles – (Impact: 01.22.09) {***¾}

    The ***½ TV matches can be found here!

    And I’m out of here!

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    Larry Csonka

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