Into the Indies 10.20.09: NOSAWA Bom-Ba-Ye!

Banner Courtesy of John Meehan

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Into the Indies, the only column on 411 to feature Japanese Juggalos and the Rocky Horror Wrestling Show.

I have to admit, this week, we’re taking a look at a show that is questionable in terms of its “indy” status, given that it had some backing from puroresu powerhouse All Japan Pro Wrestling. However, there are enough indy wrestlers, bizarre humor, and wacky interpromotional crossovers that this show certainly FEELS like an indy card even if it may have taken a little bit of money from the big boys.

So how does a major promotion wind up lending support to a show that feels so indy? Well, the answer is simple, really, and it all relates back to one man: NOSAWA Rongai.

NOSAWA, in the tradition of men like Ultimo Dragon, is a professional wrestler who was born in Japan but gained much of his early training in Mexico. Breaking in to the wrestling business in the mid-1990’s, Rongai would spend time training with the legendary Negro Casas among others, though the pedigree that he received from his training would not exactly lead to the most glamorous of careers during his early days. Upon his return to Japan in 1998, the best bookings that he could get were in the newly-formed DDT promotion, which, though it would develop in to a solid indy group, was hardly anything noteworthy at the time.

Rongai stuck with things, though, splitting his time between Japan, Mexico, and the United States. While he continued with DDT in Japan, in Mexico he regularly worked as an undercard heel in CMLL, which at the time was the country’s biggest promotion. (In that country, he was known as Super Cacao for several years before finally beginning to use his proper name in 2000.) In the United States, he began palling around with the Insane Clown Posse, an underground band whose music he enjoyed. Because ICP consider themselves amateur wrestling promoters, NOSAWA got numerous bookings on their Juggalo Championship Wrestling shows, often being positioned at the top of the cards . . . and definitely being the most talented wrestler on those cards even if he was not working the main event. It was through the connections that he made on the United States independent scene that NOSAWA got the biggest break of his American career, being brought in by TNA Wrestling, working their Super X Cup tournament in 2003 and serving as the captain of Team Japan in the 2004 version of the World X Cup.

At the same time that his career was making strides in the United States, it was also making strides in Japan. In the early part of this decade, Rongai got the call up from DDT to All Japan Pro Wrestling. Though he was originally a curtain jerker in AJPW, NOSAWA slowly became a bigger and bigger part of the company. He never has reached the point of being a legitimate main eventer. However, he has occasionally managed to earn himself a shot at the company’s Junior Heavyweight Title, and he formed a tag team with his long-time friend MAZADA which was always a bit of an undercard threat. Ultimately, in 2008, NOSAWA and MAZADA joined forces with established wrestlers Minoru Suzuki and Taiyo Kea, forming a faction known as the Tokyo GURENTAI. Though not pushed as heavily as Suzuki and Kea (or Yoshihiro Takayama, who would be a later addition to the group), being involved in such a faction further solidified NOSAWA Rongai as a man who could be taken seriously in AJPW.

While he was establishing himself as wrestler in AJPW, NOSAWA also began to establish himself as a booker. Beginning in 2005, All Japan gave him the opportunity to produce his own show one to two times per year. Known as the NOSAWA Bom-Ba-Ye, which is a play on the Antonio Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye mixed marital arts shows that run in Japan on New Year’s Eve, Rongai produced cards tend to be heavy on comedy and also expose to AJPW fans numerous wrestlers from outside the company.

As noted above, it is these interpromotional crossovers and this wacky “indy” sensibility that has lead to a review of a NOSAWA Bom-Ba-Ye show being published in this very column. Specifically, we are taking a look at Bom-Ba-Yea number five from Rongai, which was held on July 9, 2009.

Match Numero Uno: Kikutaro (as Bret Hart) vs. Antonio Honda (as Shawn Michaels)

For those of you reading this who may not be too familiar with Japanese wrestling, comedy matches are significantly more popular in that country than they are in the United States, and they go much further than they would in the United States in terms of being an outright farce as opposed to largely legitimate matches which contains a couple of amusing spots. Kikutaro is one of the men who revolutionized the comedy match in Japan, first under his old persona of Ebessan and now under his current moniker. Here he is dressed up as Bret “The Hitman” Hart, while his opponent, DDT wrestler Antonio Honda, takes on the role of Shawn Michaels for a reninactment of the match between the two men at Survivor Series 1997 that will likely be anything but historically accurate.

The highlight of Honda’s entrance is definitely him waving his hand back and forth behind his head to indicate where Shawn Michaels’ 1996-1997 pyro WOULD be going off if this show had the budget for it. However, even that pales in comparison to the “Bret Kikuhart” mask worn out to the ring by the former Ebessan, which comes complete with built-in sunglasses and wet look hair. We clip ahead a fair amount to Honda missing a cross body block in the corner and landing sternum first across the top turnbuckle, a la . . . well, who else? Kikuhart kicks him a few times and then drops the second rope elbow when Nise HBK falls to the mat. “Shawn” recovers in time to block the follow-up bulldog and hit a flying forearm, though he needs the referee’s assistance in kipping up . . . and doing so causes his wig to fall off. Well, to be fair, the real Shawn Michaels is also losing his hair. Honda warms up the band for some Sweet Chin Music, but Hart deflects it and looks for the Sharpshooter. That is blocked as well, and the superkick does connect. Antonio follows that up with a Sharpshooter of his own, and Kikutaro actually DOES tap out, only to have the referee miss it because he was looking for a lost contact lens on the mat. “Shawn” gets the referee’s attention and then heads up to the top rope, but he jumps right in to “Bret’s” waiting arms and is put in to the Sharpshooter. Then, in a spot that everybody has been waiting twelve years to see, the referee calls for the bell before HBK can tap out and declares Hart the winner. I guess that’s what you get for harassing the guy while he’s trying to locate his contacts.

Match Thoughts: Between the comedic nature of the match and the clipping, there really isn’t too much to talk about here. Aside from the outrageous looks of the characters being portrayed (especially Hart), there was not much in the way of actual parody. The wrestlers were really just doing old Hart/Michaels spots, and, at least in my mind, copying something exactly the way that it was done without modifying it is not really parody, nor is it even comedy. However, the whole thing only lasted five minutes, so I have nothing to complain about, really.

Match Numero Dos: Makoto Hashi vs. Shigehiro Irie

This match is being billed as “King of Gorilla,” which I assume has something to do with the fact that both of these men are large, bulky competitors with really long arms. The disparity in star power is also interesting here, as Hashi is a regular in Pro Wrestling NOAH, which is one of Japan’s “Big Three” promotions, whereas Irie is a twenty year old wrestler who just debuted in 2008 after graduating from a very small, indy wrestling run dojo known as the Nagoya Pro Wrestling. This may well be the biggest match of his career to date.

We’ve got forearms and chops from both men to start, which I know is hard to believe here in this Japanese professional wrestling match. The two men then switch to really lame looking headbutts, and I can’t tell if they’re lame because the men are going for comedy or if they’re lame because they just lame. In any event, Hashi wins that war and goes to the top rope, missing a diving headbutt. Irie tries for a backdrop driver, but Hashi elbows out of it and hits the ropes. Irie responds by grabbing his man for a powerslam, and he follows it up with an avalanche in the corner and a vertical suplex for two. These guys are continuing to move just as slowly as they were on the headbutts, leading me to the conclusion that the earlier exchange was not for comedy purposes. Irie stays on his opponent with a sit-down splash and a Saito suplex, but both moves get two counts. He then looks for a piledriver or a powerbomb, only to have Hashi reverse it in to a back body drop. A running lariat in the corner is the next from the NOAH star, and he follows that with the lowest-elevation spinning heel kick that I’ve seen in years. A lariat gets two for Hashi, and he then uses a backfist to set up a fisherman suplex for another nearfall. Hashi heads back up to the top rope, this time connecting with the diving headbutt. That’s another two count, but a Hashi Michinoku Driver does end the match seconds later.

Match Thoughts: This was an odd match. It seemed like the entire thing aired, and it clocked in at seven minutes long. Instead of wrestling what I would normally think of as a seven minute match the two men basically wrestled what I would normally think of as the last seven minutes of a twenty-five minute match, trading big highspots and nearfalls back and forth evenly until one man finally pulled out the victory. This sort of “sprint” match isn’t entirely without precedent, but, when I have seen wrestlers do it in the past, they seem to have taken extra effort to ramp up the speed an intensity behind their moves to give the fans more bang for their buck given the truncated nature of the bout. These two did seemingly the exact opposite, moving much more slowly than guys working this sort of match normally would and making most of their big moves seem like love taps instead of death blows. This match had no real redeeming qualities. 1/2*

Match Numero Tres: Konamy vs. Dinastia

I’ll be honest with you. I have been able to find very little information on these two wrestlers. However, I can confirm that they are both in from Mexico for this card, though I do not know whether they wrestle out of any particular promotion or what their backstories are. However, this is not the first time that we have seen Dinastia in I2I. He first popped up when we took a look at EAW a few weeks back, though there was not much of a chance to comment on his in-ring ability at that time due to the fact that he was sharing the spotlight with five other men. Because he appeared on that EAW show and is appearing on this show, both of which featured Super Crazy in prominent positions, I am continuing to work under my theory that there is some sort of connection between Dinastia and Crazy.

Dinastia opens up the offense with a drop toe hold and follows it up with a headscissors takedown when it looks like Konamy is going to go on the offensive. Dinastia misses a cross body block, though, and Konamy takes over with a BIG corner clothesline and a kneelift. Dinastia does a series of backflips to avoid a second charge and limbos under another lariat, then performing more evasive flips to a great crowd response. The two men begin trading hammerlocks, with Dinastia trying to roll out of one version of the hold and failing. He eventually does escape courtesy of some elbows and a headscissors that sends Konamy down to the floor. Dinastia follows him with, of all things, a CORKSCREW ASAI MOONSAULT. Konamy knocks his opponent off of the apron as the two men try to reenter the ring, following up with a NO HANDS TOPE CON HILO. Dinastia lands another rana when the two men reenter the ring, but Dinastia catches him with a knee to the gut and looks for a powerbomb. Dinastia slips out of that, hitting the ropes and coming off with a beautiful running Yoshi Tonic for a nearfall. Dinastia unloads with kicks but runs in to a knee again, allowing Konamy to shoot him in to the corner and hit a one man Spanish fly for a two count. Konamy looks to finish with a German, but Dinastia flips out of it and hits a floatover DDT for another nearfall. Dinastia catches his man with an elbow and a rolling kick, but that also will not put Konamy away. A Konamy rollup and lariat both get two, but he’s knocked out of the ring again by a spinning heel kick. Dinastia seizes the opportunity and hits a conventional Asai moonsault before landing a running knee strike amid the fans and rolling Konamy back in to the ring. A version of the Buff Blockbuster gets two for Dinastia, and he looks for a 450 thereafter. It misses, allowing Konamy to scoop up the smaller man for a cradle Michinoku driver. That gives Konamy the victory.

Match Thoughts: After an opening match that wasn’t really meant to be good and a second match that was fairly pitiful, things picked up here with a vengeance. These two men, particularly Dinastia, were moving at a fast pace rarely seen in professional wrestling rings, and they had innovative exchanges and maneuvers that made them both look like something special. The fans concurred with my analysis, giving respectful applause to the wrestlers throughout the match for all of their big moves. This was a great Japanese coming out party for two younger Mexican professional wrestlers, and I hope that it can lead to them being booked more regularly in other promotions throughout the world. They both seem to have worlds of potential. Of course, that’s not to say that the match was perfect. It was relatively short – under ten minutes – and there were some issues with where they positioned their biggest moves in the match. (For example, I don’t think that the corkscrew Asai moonsault should have come BEFORE the regular Asai moonsault). However, those concerns are excusable given the fact that a) the wrestlers aren’t the ones who decided the length of the match and b) their ability to put together matches will likely improve with time. This isn’t a blow-away match that everybody needs to go out of their way to see, but it’s a great match to watch if you’re somebody like me who enjoys seeing young, talented wrestlers develop. ***1/2

Match Numero Cuatro: Hikaru Sato vs. Yuta Yoshikawa

These two men are shooters, baby . . . or at least wrestlers form shoot-style promotions. Yoshikawa is wrestling out of BattlARTS, a long-standing independent promotion in Japan which promotes a style integrating several aspects of mixed marital arts in to its matches. (One of these days, we’ll actually get around to covering some BattlArts here in I2I.) Across the ring from him is Hikaru Sato, who is actually quite the seasoned fighter, having competed in over forty MMA matches, compiling a record of 20-20-3. Much of his fighting came with the old PANCRASE group in Japan.

The match begins with a flurry of palm strikes and kicks, with Sato getting an early advantage thanks to a DDT and a guillotine hold in the mount. Sato stays on his back in a guarded position and tempts Yoshikawa in to going down after him. Once he does so, Sato looks for a cross arm breaker, but it’s blocked. The two men spend a considerable amount of time jockeying for position on the mat, and Sato winds up with a leglock. Yoshikawa tries to slap and headbutt his way out of it, but those efforts fail. He finally gets Sato to release the hold with some chops, but Yoshikawa may have been safer in the hold, as Sato begins kicking him in the head as soon as he lets it go. Yoshikawa fires back with some strikes of his own. Then, in one of those “I can’t believe nobody has thought of this before” spots, Sato attempts to school boy Yoshikawa only for Yoshi to apply a cross armbreaker to the limb Sato was using for the schoolboy. Sato quickly makes the ropes, then ducking a Yoshikawa enzuguiri to apply an ankle lock. Yoshikawa spends quit a bit of time in the hold before forcing a rope break, and the two men are selling those last two holds like real champs. They begin trading palm thrusts again, and Sato wins the exchange with a headbutt. Sato allows the referee to apply the ten count to Yoshikawa, and Yoshi is not up until eight. Sato gets a judo throw and looks for a cross armbreaker, but then, out of nowhere, “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath begins to play. Wrestlers Yasu & Hide Kubota hit the ring dressed as the Roadwarriors, and they attack both Sato and Yoshikawa, forcing a no contest. Sato and Yoshikawa are thrown form the ring and become complete afterthoughts.

Match Thoughts: Well, these two did not get much time to do their thing, but, while they were actually wrestling, they put on quite a show. I generally have not been a fan of “shoot style” wrestling, which is what I was afraid we were going to get in this bout after its opening minutes. However, as things progressed, it turned out that this was going to be a conventional wrestling match that featured a handful of MMA spots as opposed to a worked MMA match. I was rather entertained by what we got prior to the run-in, as both men’s offense was crisp and believable . . . plus I was a huge mark for that “schoolboy-turned-into-a-cross arm breaker” spot. **

The Kubotas remain in the ring and cut a promo, which sets up . . .

Match Numero Cinco: Yasu & Hide Kubota vs. Shu & Kei Sato vs. Mio & Io Shirai in a Three-Way Street Fight

We’re dealing with three sets of siblings here, and we’re also dealing with some intergender action here in this street fight. The Kubotas are brothers who primarily compete in DDT, the independent promotion in Japan famous for putting its Hardcore Title on inanimate objects and for producing Kota Ibushi. The Shirais are the ladies in the fray, a pair of sisters who consider joshi company IBUKI Pro to be their home base. We first saw Io without her sister in my look at Ice Ribbon. Finally, we have Shu and Kei Sato, the Dragon Gym-produced twins who wrestle all over these days and were first encountered by I2I readers in the debut edition of the column.

The Satos and Shirais attack to Kubotas at the bell, but the Roadie knockoffs come back and clothesline down all four of their opponents before isolating a Sato. To be frank, I can’t tell any wrestler in this match from his or her sibling, so this play-by-play is going to be a bit vague. The Sato is placed in to a rear naked choke, but he emits a green substance in his mouth before stuffing it in to the face of the Kubota to break the hold. The Sato follows up with a jumping kick to the face which sends his opponent out of the ring and to the floor. All six of the wrestlers head to the outside, where both Shirai sisters try to attack a Sato. They fail. The result is one of the Shirais being thrown in to the ring with a Sato, where she is choked with a shirt until the Kubotas break the hold. Their involvement is short-lived, as the other Sato knocks them out of the ring with kendo stick shots. The Satos then pour water all over the Shirai and choke her in the corner until the other participants in the match save again. Oddly, they’re run off again, and the same green substance that the Satos used on the Kubotas earlier is emitted on to Shirai. The poor young lady then set up for a shot with a road sign, but a Kubota cuts that off and nails Sato with it. The Shirai gets some revenge with a shot of her own and then tags her sister, who gives the Sato a top rope cross body block for two. The other Sato breaks it up and looks for a chairshot, but the Shirai matrixes under it and dropkicks the furniture back in to his face. The Kubotas and Shiras then take turns hitting corner attacks on the Satos, and they are then given a wheelbarrow slam by the Kubotas. That’s enough to dispatch the Satos from the ring, and, once they’re gone, the Shirais hit the Kubotas low and take them down. One Shirai gives the other a step up assist for a moonsault on to the Kubotas, but that only gets two. Eventually the Kubotas get back in to the swing of things, and they hit the Demolition Decapitation on a Shirai. They try to set her up for the Doomsday Device immediately thereafter, but a Sato intervenes with a chair. The Shirais then get a couple of close rollups on the Kubotas, but the Satos save and begin hitting the women with a kendo stick. A Sato tries to end the match with a fisherman suplex on a Shirai but can only get two. Another stick shot from the Sato brothers misses, allowing the Kubotas to make their way back in to the match. One of them slams a Shirai but gets hit with a WICKED Sato chairshot that pops the seat off of the chair and sends it flying out of the ring. While the Satos are tied up with the other Kubota, a Shirai sneaks in and pins the Kubota who ate the chairshot. Women’s lib lives!

Match Thoughts: This match was insane, and I frankly can’t decide whether it was insane in a good way or a bad way. Some multi-person matches provide non-stop action from bell to bell in a manner which can best be referred to as “organized chaos,” i.e. a manner in which the match feels frenzied and out of control but, at the same time, you can tell when you start to break it down that the wrestlers were exactly where they needed to be at every second and not blowing any spots. Other multi-person matches offer bell-to-bell action, but it’s executed in such a way that moves are constantly mistimed and wrestlers are practically tripping over one another. Before tonight, I generally considered these matches to either be at one extreme of this spectrum or another with none of them falling in between. Well, this is the first match of this sort that I have seen that fell in between those two points. At some points, I was getting in to the wrestlers cutting off each other’s offense at the last possible second. At other points, I was cringing because an attempt to do that came at exactly the wrong moment. All in all, I wasn’t cringing while watching it but I would also never watch it again, so we may as well shoot for a somewhat mediocre rating. *3/4

Match Numero Seis: Super Crazy vs. The Great Sasuke vs. Ultimo Dragon

Hopefully, these three men need no introduction. If they do, you’re probably in the wrong column.

Dragon and Sasuke team up against Crazy early, kicking him around and tossing him from the ring before locking up with one another. They do various bits evading each other’s offense to establish that they are familiar with one another, and the Dragon takes it over with an elbow drop. He tries to run the ropes for something else, but Crazy grabs his leg and pulls him out of the ring. The luchador misses an avalanche and Sasuke heads up to the top, but Dragon cuts him off and slams him down. Ultimo works over Crazy for a bit, but Sasuke comes back and armdrags both men. Crazy is not too affected and looks for a moonsault on Ultimo, but Sasuke cuts him off. Sasuke tries to hit the moonsault instead, but Ultimo cuts him off. Crazy tries to give Sasuke some sort of top rope move off of the Dragon’s shoulders, but Sasuke rolls up Ultimo in to a victory roll, causing Crazy to crash and burn. Sasuke then tosses Crazy out of the ring and Irish whips Ultimo Dragon, who, instead of hitting the ropes and rebounding in to Sasuke, decides that he’s going to give Crazy a TOPE SUICIDA that nobody in the arena saw coming.

All three men wind up on the outside as a result of Sasuke giving his opponents his wacky through-the-ropes to the floor dropkick. Sasuke and Crazy are the first two men back in to the ring, and Sasuke sees Ultimo coming back in, so he grabs Crazy and holds him for a spinning heel kick from the Dragon. Crazy moves and Ultimo winds up kicking Sasuke. In a measure of revenge, Ultimo grabs Crazy and allows Sasuke to kick him. Sasuke and Dragon then try to repeat their spinning heel kick spot, but Crazy moves for a second time, causing the two Japanese wrestlers to argue. They ARE successful in hitting the luchadore with a double dropkick and sending him out of the ring, though. Sasuke orders Ultimo to go for a dive but ambushes him from behind before Ultimo can even run the ropes. Sasuke then tears at the Dragon’s mask and comes dangerously close to pulling it off. Crazy saves but is quickly thrown out of the ring again by Ultimo, who applies a version of the stump puller before going after Sasuke’s mask. Crazy saves again, but Sasuke is blinded by the fact that his mask is out of position. Ultimo tries to take advantage of that by setting up for his Asai DDT, but Crazy grabs him as he is rotating through on the move, saving Sasuke. The ECW alum then looks for a powerbomb on Sasuke, but the Michinoku Pro founder rolls through and in to a pinning combination. Crazy reverses, however, and he manages to hold Sasuke down for a three count in a rollup of his own.

Match Thoughts: This pretty well ruled. Sasuke and Dragon are wrestlers who I’m used to seeing having classic, one-on-one junior heavyweight style matches against one another with a slow build to some high impact spots at the finish. Super Crazy I associate most closely with his three-way dances in ECW, in which everything comes at a mile a minute right out of the gate. Given that, this match was essentially Dragon and Sasuke stepping in to Crazy’s world and having the style of match with which he is identified . . . and they did it BEAUTIFULLY. This was the first time in a while that I’ve watched a match that moved so quickly and so smoothly that I actually had to go back and rewind it and points to determine what was going on for my replay. The fact that these men were moving at such a clip after having lengthy careers with numerous injuries is impressive enough. More impressive still is the fact that they did this all without noticeably screwing up a single one of the numerous breathtaking maneuvers that they were pulling off. In addition to all of the flashy moves, we also got some legitimate heat between two of the wrestlers in the form of the mask war between Sasuke and Dragon. Who knows whether anything will actually come of it, but that added another layer to the match and made it feel like a bout involving a personal issue as opposed to a simple exhibition of awesome pro wrestling, which is often what we get from these stand-alone show that are not part of a regular promotion. If you are a fan of junior heavyweight wrestling in general or these three men in particular, this is a bout worth hunting down. ****

Match Numero Siete: Yoshihiro Takayama (as Lioness Takayama) & Minoru Suzuki (as Minoru Nagayo) vs. Kikutaro (as Dump Kiku) & Muscle Sakai (as Bull Sakai)

This match is being billed as the twenty-fifth anniversary special of the Crush Girls, a legendary female tag team from the 80’s who may to this day be the single post popular act in joshi history. However, unlike many “anniversary” matches in Japan, the actual wrestlers are not around to celebrate their special day. Instead, the roles of the Crush Girls are being played by male wrestlers Yoshihiro Takayama and Minoru Suzuki, both of whom wrestle regularly for All Japan Pro Wrestling as part of the Tokyo GURENTAI faction that this evening’s booker, NOSAWA Rongai is also part of. Takayama is playing the part of Lioness Asuka, while Suzuki is dressed up as Chigusa Nagayo. The comedic roles are particularly absurd for these two, as they are normally very intense, hard hitting wrestlers. Of course, having a Crush Girls tribute match would mean nothing if you didn’t also pay homage to their classic foils, the Gokuaku Domei duo of Bull Nakano and Dump Matsumoto, being played here, respectively, by DDT wrestler Muscle Sakai and our old friend from the opening match, Kikutaro. They’re a bit more used to the world of comedy matches than their opponents.

Sakai and Kikutaro enter first, both of them wearing exactly the sort of makeup that would be on the faces of Dump Matsumoto and Bull Nakano in their primes, and Sakai is even sporting a women’s style single and leather jacket. The end result is that the two of them – Sakai in particular – looking like something straight out of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Takayama and Suzuki get to forego the over-the-top makeup, so they look slightly more normal, though the women’s robes and singlets still look a bit screwy. The babyface team also gets a disturbing level of catcalls when they disrobe.

The heels attack with weapons while the introductions are still ongoing, and that leads in to an immediate crowd brawl between all four, um, “men.” Less than a minute in, both Takayama and Suzuki have lost their Crush Girl wigs, which are apparently so important that the wrestlers actually team up to recover the headgear. Eventually Dump and Suzuki wind up back in the ring, with Kiku choking away as Suzuki struggles to keep his wig on. Minoru fires back with a punch to the gut and a sunset flip, which sends his hairpiece flying through the air and gets him a three count. At the end of the first of three falls, which only lasted three minutes, Takayama does a great job celebrating as though he had just emerged victorious after a sixty minute long marathon.

Fall two begins with a new, older referee who I’m assuming refereed some actual Crush matches back in his prime. The new fall also starts with Takayama and Sakai in the ring. For some reason, Sakai is allowed to freely wield a large stick, which he uses when Takayama tries to lock up. That sets up a tag to Kikutaro, who comes in with a kendo stick and chokes the Triple Crown holder before wacking him repeatedly with the weapon. Sakai takes over after a while and applies a leglock, taking a break to smoke a cigarette while Takayama struggles in the hold. Dump returns to the ring with stick in tow, but Takayama fires back for a bit, getting in just enough offense to make the tag. Suzuki blocks a stick shot and pries the weapon away, but the referee prevents him from using it even though he has freely allowed the heels to do so for the entire match and in fact hands the stick back to Dump once he gets it away from Suzuki. Not long thereafter, the bad guys hit stereo weapon shots on Takayama and Suzuki in order to get the pin.

After that, we actually get a THIRD official coming out to start up fall three, and Suzuki hits a spinning kick to earn one of the slowest two counts in recorded history. Takayama tags in to the match and goes for the cover off of a snap mare of all things, and the count he receives from the ref is just as slow. After the Crush Men argue with the ref, Dump goes to Takayama’s eyes and takes both men down with a double lariat. Kiku and Sakai drop numerous legs and elbows on their opponents before STRIPPING THEM OF THEIR SINGLETS. Takayama and Suzuki briefly become preoccupied with covering their chests, just as real woman would. However, with their singlets and then their wigs removed, they quickly revert to their non-comedic personas and begin pummeling the heels with some STIFF shots. Kikutaro in particular eats an insanely snug series of kicks from the faces, though Sakai gets his fair share as well.

Just when it looks like Takayama and Suzuki are about to finish off the bad guys, the referee gets in their faces and reminds them that they’re supposed to be playing roles here, so they get back in to their Crush Girl gear and hit weapon shots to set up big fists to the heels’ cuts. Takayama covers Sakai after that and gets another slow two count. A weak back suplex from Takayama leads to the same result. Takayama fails miserably in his efforts to give Sakai a giant swing, but it doesn’t matter, as, seconds later, the faces clamp on stereo submissions in the form of a figure four from Takayama and a sharpshooter from Suzuki. That gets them a submission victory, and there’s no restarting this one now.

Match Thoughts: I don’t think that I can give this one a fair rating since, quite frankly, it wasn’t structured to be a traditional pro wrestling match but rather a comedic exhibition featuring at least two men who you would not anticipate seeing in such a spectacle. Though certain parts of its appeal were probably lost on me in terms of both linguistic and culture translation, I remained entertained for the half hour or so that the match went on. I have seen several of these “wrestlers dress up as other wrestlers” comedy matches in the past, and this one managed to work in a few unique spots that I had never seen before, including the rotating cast of referees and Takayama and Suzuki accidentally slipping “out of character” before sheepishly slipping back in to their women’s attire. This match is an easy recommendation for fans of pro wrestling comedy, and it’s a must-see for anybody who enjoyed the Crush Girls back in the day but is able to laugh at them in 2009.

Match Numero Ocho: NOSAWA Rogai, MAZADA, & Minoru Fujita vs. CIMA, KAGETORA, & Gamma

Well, after some laugh out loud comedy, it’s back to the serious wrestling with a unique interpromotional six man tag team match featuring NOSAWA, the man who put this whole show together. He’s being flanked by his regular GURENTAI tag team partner MAZADA on one side and on the other by Minoru Fujita, not to be confused with Minoru Suzuki from the prior match. Fujita is a regular member of the ZERO1 roster, mixing it up in that company’s junior heavyweight matches. Their opponents are being imported from Dragon Gate, and they are the three key members of the promotion’s WARRIOR-5 faction. Yes, it’s Gamma . . . it’s KAGETORA . . . and it’s the Dragon Gate legend CIMA . . . this is going to be a heck of a lot of fun. (And, with NOSAWA, GURENTAI, MAZADA, ZERO1, KAGETORA, and WARRIOR-5, flying around the ring, my caps lock key is going to get quite the workout.)

We’ve got a six man brawl before the streamers are even cleared out of the ring, and, of course, it goes to the floor. Everything is too wild to keep track of until NOSAWA and MAZADA get KAGETORA in the ring and isolate him for some dropkicks to the face from the Tokyo contingent. CIMA and Gamma save, and Gamma winds up in the ring alone with MAZADA. Gamma spits directly in to the face of his opponent and takes him down with a shoulderblock, though MAZADA responds with a rana and an enzuguiri which send Gamma to the floor. CIMA and Rongai pair off next, with the Dragon Gate wrestler landing a kick to the chest and an armdrag before going to the armbar. That brings KAGETORA in to the ring for a double sledge on to the limb, though he telegraphs a back body drop, thereby allowing MAZADA to tag in. He hits a corner clothesline for a two count, but KAGETORA remains strong enough to bull him back in to the WARRIOR-5 corner, where Gamma spits on him again before tagging in . . . and, well, getting his ass handed to him.

Gamma is punched a few times and handed off to Minoru, who nails a dropkick to the back of the head and a kneedrop for a nearfall. Next he locks on a bow and arrow style submission hold, and Gamma tries to power out of it a few times before finally just backing Suzuki in to his corner, where CIMA grabs the man’s hair and tags in. A slingshot senton from Mr. Nobanunga follows, but Minoru escapes his grasp and brings NOSAWA back in tot he match. The Japanese Juggalo lands a kick to the back of the head for a two count and then applies a fairly weak looking half crab. Gamma spits in Rongai’s face from the apron, allowing CIMA to run wild. Neither Rongai nor CIMA is able to hit each other as they run off of the ropes, and then, out of nowhere, NOSAWA’s knee seems to buckle under him. As you might expect, WARRIOR-5 are on that like sharks on chum, dismantling the joint with numerous attacks, including a CIMA dropkick hit as Rongai’s leg was outstretched over the middle rope.

Gamma gets his turn to beat on NOSAWA’s bad wheel, giving it a spinning leg breaker until MAZADA makes the save. He’s dispatched by KAGETORA, and suddenly NOSAWA is alone with all three DG wrestlers. They slam both of his knees in to the mat, and KAGETORA stays in the ring for a kneebar submission hold, with Gamma using a kendo stick to the leg while CIMA districts the referee. NOSAWA desperately struggles to make his corner, and CIMA cuts him off with what can only be described as a diving dragon screw leg whip executed as Rongai lays flat on his back. Whatever you want to call it, it was awesome. MAZADA tries to save again, but he’s tossed out of the ring again, as is Suzuki. The net result of that is CIMA landing a double stomp to the injured knee of NOSAWA, followed by a kneeling figure four. Gamma, just to be a jerk, climbs up on to the top rope while Rongai is in the hold and unloads a mouthful of water in to his face.

The spit-centric wrestler tags in as well, chewing up what I believe are sardines and attempting to shove them in to NOSAWA’s face. Rongai reverses and gives Gamma taste of his own medicine. CIMA runs in to do damage control but winds up missing a corner attack and flying out to the floor. That results in KAGETORA eating a NOSAWA suplex, and there’s the tag to Minoru. KAGETORA does succeed in kicking him down to size, but Suzuki responds with an enzuguiri and a BRUTAL knee to the back of the head. Minoru looks for a piledriver but gets a cane shot to the back from Gamma, though he avoids a second shot with the weapon and lands a few love taps of his own. Suzuki and NOSAWA then tie Gamma’s arms around the stick and whip him in to the ropes, but he responds by clotheslining them both wit the weapon. CIMA winds up with the stick, but the referee tries to steal it. When he does, he inadvertently nails MAZADA, who is then hit with a CIMA lungblower for two. MAZADA responds with a leg grapevine DDT, which he and NOSAWA follow up with a German suplex/enzuguiri combination. (Unfortunately, NOSAWA whiffed big time on the kick.) NOSAWA and MAZADA feed CIMA in to a Suzuki powerbomb, but it only gets two as the other WARRIORS save.

Gamma winds up in the ring with NOSAWA, laying him out with a Saito suplex that sets up a KAGETORA top rope elbow. Gamma then lifts CIMA in to a Razor’s Edge position only to drop him in to a double stomp on NOSAWA, which only gets two. Rongai starts to make a comeback but is dispatched one more time, and CIMA does some damage to MAZADA with a Vader Bomb style kneedrop. The DG ace’s dominance cannot continue, though, as Suzuki hits him with an Ace Crusher. Everybody lays around for a bit, after which two of the WARRIOR-5 team land stereo corner attacks on two fo the GURENTAI team. That leads in to SIMULTANEOUS COAST-TO-COAST DROPKICKS from CIMA and Gamma, but the other Tokyo boys save. WARRIOR-5 sets up for a triple submission spot, but, as CIMA attempts to apply his portion of the hold to Rongai, the bookerman reverses it in to an Oklahoma roll and gets himself in the win, as the other WARRIOR-5 members are too tied up in their own holds to make the save.

Match Thoughts: This match wasn’t bad per se, but it still wound up disappointing me due to my expectations going in. One of the things that I enjoy in professional wrestling is an evil, dick-ish team of heels using every underhanded tactic in the book in order to pick apart their adversaries. WARRIOR-5 are very good at that style of heel wrestling, and Tokyo GURENTAI are no slouches either. As a result, when I saw this battle on the card, I thought that it would be a glorious heel versus heel matchup, with each team striving out out-cheat and out-sneak the other to the delight of all in attendance. However, that is not what happened. Instead, though we did get a couple of more heelish spots form the GURENTAI boys, they largely worked the match as babyfaces, resulting in a more traditional six man tag. It wasn’t necessarily a bad match within that genre, but it was still far from the glorious festival of dirty tricks and weapon shots that I had envisioned. I will give a bit thumbs up to the finish, though, as it was one of the more creative ways to end a six man tag team match that I have seen in quite a while. The triple submission spot is used all the time, but turning it in to a victory for the team that appears to be at the disadvantage was a great twist on an old favorite, particular given that it made perfect sense for the WARRIOR-5 wrestlers to be unable to release their holds in time to break up NOSAWA’s pinfall. **1/2

Overall

This was a ridiculously fun couple of hours of wrestling. It wasn’t the type of show that has a balanced undercard topped off by three ****+ matches, but it was still a show that had a great vibe throughout and, perhaps more importantly, a VARIETY of matches. So often these days promotions, both in the U.S. and abroad, seem to be dead set on only producing one particular type of match that they consider to be their speciality, but, at least in my mind, it’s a variety of styles on the same card that has separated the best shows in history from shows that drag and get stale. Here you had a great mix, including a couple of pure comedy matches, a lucha libre encounter, a wild street fight, a six man tag team match, and an insane three-way spotfest. Every bout made its own unique contribution to making the show stand out and further contributed to a dynamic that made this relatively low profile show produced by an undercard wrestler into something that felt like a truly unique event the likes of which you only really get to see one to two times a year.

I highly recommend that anybody who wants to get in to modern Japanese independent wrestling start with this show, as it is a good way to get introduced to a handful of the major players, and I have a feeling that it would also serve as a good transition from American professional wrestling to Japanese professional wrestling. Two thumbs way up for NOSAWA, and hopefully he continues to produce these shows throughout the remainder of his career.

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