411’s Instant Access 10.25.09: WWE Bragging Rights 2009

• Scott Slimmer, author of Don’t Think Twice. Tonight, Slimmer is enjoying a Pumpkin Pie Blizzard Treat from Dairy Queen.
• Chris Lansdell, author of A Brace for Impact and If I Could Be Serious For A Moment. Lansdell still cries at the end of Million Dollar Baby.
• Rob McNew, author of 411’s WWE Raw Report and 411’s WWE Superstars Report. McNew can only name 48 of the 50 United States. (He keeps forgetting Connecticut and Oklahoma.)
• Jeremy Thomas, editor of 411’s Wrestler of the Week and author of The Hush-Hush Movie News Report. Thomas once at 37 Steak Baja Chalupas at a single sitting.
• Jeff Small, author of the Tuesday Small-For-All News Report. Small once killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Okay kids, enough with the explanations. Let’s get to the wrestling.

Raw vs. Smackdown Non-Title Champion vs. Champion Bragging Rights Match
The Miz (United States Champion, representing Raw) vs. John Morrison(Intercontinental Champion, representing Smackdown)
Match Result: The Miz defeats John Morrison after countering Starship Pain.
Match Length: 10:51
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I was really looking forward to this match, and it was a smart choice to open the show, but somehow I felt that the match ended up being a bit underwhelming. There was nothing especially wrong with the match except for possibly some marginally sloppy work in the middle, but there was also nothing especially compelling about the match. The match was building nicely, but then it ended rather abruptly and quite anticlimactically. I’ve got no problem with Miz picking up the win, but I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t have hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Losing to Miz wouldn’t have done any real damage to Morrison (especially since Miz is on a different show), but Miz could have gotten a ton of mileage out of bragging about defeating Morrison (which, in fairness, he probably will anyway). Anyway, this is probably the end of this little feud for the moment, but I’d love to see these guys rekindle their rivalry at some point in the future.
Lansdell: I was all about this match, having high hopes going in…which were not fully realized. I mean sure it was good, but I was really expecting a show-stealer. Miz has grown so much in the ring, and Morrison is the most promising guy on the blue brand. The match did a lot to open the show though, set the tone for SmackDown’s eventual win and was a nice pulse-raiser. I did feel it ended just as it was getting strong, but the problem with this PPV is that this match and the women’s match won’t mean anything as of tomorrow night.
McNew: The match itself was pretty good, although nothing spectacular. I would have liked to see these two do more but given the format of the pay per view that just wasn’t possible. Morrison is definitely ahead of Miz since the break up so the result was certainly logical. The finish however was incredibly underwhelming, and certainly drags down the overall quality.
Thomas: This was a pretty good match, and a good start to open the show. Miz and Morrison have excellent chemistry in the ring and they showed it here with some very decent offense. They gave them the time to tell a good story. There was some excellent timing, such as the foot on the ropes right as the ref’s hand was coming down, but weak and underwhelming finish hurt it just a touch.
Small: Color me surprised at the outcome of this match. You figured that Morrison would have gotten the win seeing as he’s on a fast train to the main event scene and just knocked off another golden boy in Dolph Ziggler. Then you realize that the Miz is a walking heat magnet and needs the win much more than Morrison. Good match, good result.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **¾
Lansdell: ***
McNew: **½
Thomas: ***
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: **¾

Raw vs. Smackdown Six Diva Tag Team Bragging Rights Match
Melina, Gail Kim, & Kelly Kelly (Team Raw) vs. Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, and Natalya Neidhard (Team Smackdown)
Match Result: Beth Phoenix defeats Melina with the Glam Slam.
Match Length: 6:53
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: It’s no secret that the Divas division on both Raw and Smackdown has been in a downward spiral as of late, and as such my expectations for this match were quite low. However, much to my surprise, this wasn’t just a passable match – it was actually a good match. The action was fast-paced, there were no major botches, and Melina countering a slingshot suplex into a roll-up was hella sweet. However, the quality of this match does raise one alarming question – is Mickie James really to blame for the low quality of her recent matches? I LOVE Mickie, and I still think she’s the hottest Diva on the roster, but is it time to finally admit that we might not be able to blame the other Divas for pulling her down? But I digress. Like I said, good match here, but unfortunately the result was never in question due to the fact that we all knew that Raw and Smackdown had to be tied going into the big tag match later in the night.
Lansdell: I said at the start of this match that the SD women would win on paper, and of course there was NO WAY they would have Raw win in two and make the 14-man mean nothing. Melina and Beth were the stars of this show, working some great counters and generally putting on a better match than a lot of the men could manage. Of course they are now on different shows so we won’t see that again. Hopefully we also don’t see Michelle McStyles again. We barely saw Gail and Natalya but the match was still darn good and was the sorbet of the card…a nice little palate-cleanser.
McNew: This was better than it had any right being. No noticeably botches, and it was kept short enough that nothing really dragged. Beth got the pin on Melina, and looked very strong in the process so one could assume she’s shooting right to the top of the SD title picture.
Thomas: That was literally as good as it could have possibly been. No one botched anything and it all came down pretty decently when all was said and done. Triple K and Gail kept things fairly sharp, and while the screaming from Kelly and Melina got to be a bit much I actually rather enjoyed this for what it was.
Small: Obvious winner here after the Miz picked up the victory in the first match. Even so, I was impressed with the quality of this match. Nothing was botched so perhaps Mickie James is the culprit for the recent trend of sloppy women’s matches. ~@~ (that’s gmail poop)
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **½
Lansdell: **¾
McNew: **¼
Thomas: **½
Small: **½
Average Match Rating: **½

Fatal Four Way Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
The Undertaker (Champion) vs. Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk
Match Result: The Undertaker defeats Batista with the Tombstone Piledriver.
Match Length: 9:53
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: The match itself was certainly enjoyable, but what I’m really going to remember is the AMAZING post-match segment / promo in which Batista delivered what will undoubtedly be the 2009 Quote of the Year – “I’m gonna rip your head off.” Batista has been teasing a heel turn ever since he lost to Rey Mysterio two weeks ago on Smackdown, and I’m glad that he was allowed to pull the trigger. However, given that Batista ate the pin, I’m concerned that he’s going to move on to a feud with the Undertaker rather than continuing to focus on Rey Mysterio. We’ve heard rumors that an Undertaker / Batista feud is in the works, and that might eventually be interesting now that Batista has turned heel. But there is still a lot of life left in the Batista / Mysterio feud, and I hope they’re given the chance to tell the story properly.
Lansdell: This match reminded me a lot of Angle-Orton-Mysterio from Mania 22. It was fast-paced, had a ton of action and felt a lot shorter than it was at the end of it all. The surprising thing is that the match had two slower, bigger guys in it! I thought everyone except Taker brought their working boots, understandable if Taker’s injuries are as bad as we’re told. He was largely restricted to chokeslams and trademark spots. I have no idea who goes for the title next, since Punk really needs to step away from losing to Taker all the time. The Batista turn is about 2 years late and was so transparent it lost something…but was still awesome because of how casually Batista told Rey he was going to decapitate him.
McNew: This was nothing more than a vehicle to set up the Batista heel turn, and given everything else going on the card I’m fine with that. The match was a fun multi man match with the dynamic of the Batista heel turn constantly building leading to very logical turn post match. Match itself wasn’t anything to write home about, and Taker as Champion still bugs me but a title change would have been lost in the post match shenanigans anyway.
Thomas: Okay, so this started out pretty decently. It was paced all right, and there was some fun stuff. On the other hand, I feel like there were some things that drug it down. Taker had his moments but he was also struggling. He gave the weakest sell of the 619 that I’ve ever seen, basically standing up, turning around and walking away from it. Add in some spots in the match that seemed disjointed and the match was decent, but not great. The booking decision was stupid, because Taker is obviously in no shape to carry the title. They could have put it on Rey Rey or Punk and still done the angle at the end, so that doesn’t score any leeway with me. On the other hand, the post-match angle was great, and Big Dave turning on Rey was something I loved. In the end, this was a subpar match for a Pay-Per-View but it lead into a hot angle, so that earns it about half a point.
Small: Fun match. While there was nothing classic about it, it was an enjoyable mid-card match that allowed each of the four competitors to look good during the match. Thankfully, the WWE didn’t hotshot the belt back to CM Punk as the belt needs a few months of stability again. In addition, to the correct ending, I think we are all glad that Batista finally tuned on Rey, albeit after the match. While the execution of the angle was a little awkward (really a promo after the match with both men’s heavy breathing), Batista’s “I’m going to rip your head off” line was well worth the price of admission.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***
Lansdell: ***½
McNew: **½
Thomas: **¾
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: ***

Raw vs. Smackdown Seven-on-Seven Bragging Rights Match
Triple H, Shawn Michaels, The Big Show, Mark Henry, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, & Cody Rhodes (Team Raw) vs. Chris Jericho, Kane, Matt Hardy, R-Truth, Finlay, David Hart Smith, and Tyson Kidd (Team Smackdown)
Match Result: Chris Jericho defeats Kofi Kingston after Big Show betrays team Raw.
Match Length: 15:38
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Much like the previous three matches on the card, there wasn’t anything necessarily wrong about this match, but there wasn’t anything necessarily right about it, either. There just seemed to be too many men with not enough to do. I mean, it’s been less than two hours, and I seriously can’t remember if Mark Henry or R-Truth did anything in the match. I remember HBK and DHS being in the ring together, mostly because one of them may or may not have slept with the other one’s mother, and I remember Big Show turning on KK and HHH, but that’s about it. And in the end, is the Big Show heel turn really all that important given that he was, you know, ALREADY A HEEL? I guess the bottom line is that I want pay-per-view matches to mean something, and I’m just not sure that was the case here.
Lansdell: I could not get myself into this match for most of it, although the last few minutes really made up for it. There were a lot of interactions that could have meant more had the announcers mentioned history, but of course we’re not supposed to acknowledge most of that. I still think an elimination would have worked better, but in hindsight it would have gone on WAY too long. For some reason I didn’t see the Show turn coming, but it made sense and put Jericho over as a mastermind. I didn’t mind this at all, and once the pace picked up it was good. I thought Kofi was going to be made to look great wen HHH got the hot tag to him, but that didn’t last.
McNew: Much like the rest of the undercard this match was really fun, but nothing to write home about. It was merely here to set up a JeriShow-DX feud which is fine by me even if the Show turn was very predictable. Bonus points go to Jericho for his post match celebration with the cup which made up for any drawbacks this one might have had. Also nice swerve with the trophy not ending up destroyed.
Thomas: This was actually a pretty good match. It went a good amount of time and wasn’t sold short, and everyone had their moments to shine. It could have been a complete mess of a match, but they let it go and everyone looked pretty good. The ending “swerve” was predictable but it still played off very well and the post-match celebration was pretty cool. Does Show go to SmackDown now, or does he become an uber-heel on Raw? Either way, I enjoyed this for the most part.
Small: Like the previous match, the seven on seven match was an enjoyable mid-card match. I’m glad that this was not the main event of the show as it really wasn’t built up enough. Really, is bragging rights or a trophy (which wasn’t mentioned until tonight) worth it? Throw in the fact that no fan cheers a brand; rather, the faces were cheered and Chris Jericho was booed. Due to these reasons, if this was the main event, I think the PPV would have ended on a sour note. But thankfully it did not. As for the match, I’m glad each man got a few seconds to at least get their finisher off. Before the match, I was afraid that it would be impossible to showcase all fourteen men but at least the WWE tried. In the end, the Big Show “predictably” turned on Kofi helping Team Smackdown defeat Raw. I would assume that a form of DX vs. JeriShow will now happen at Survivor Series, which is fine in my book.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¼
Lansdell: **¾
McNew: ***
Thomas: ***¼
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: ***

One Hour Anything Goes Iron Man Match for the WWE Championship
Randy Orton(Champion) vs. John Cena
Match Result: John Cena defeats Randy Orton by a score of 6 – 5.
Match Length: 60:12
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I honestly have no idea how to rate this match. Part of me really wants to give credit to both guys for going one full hour, regardless of how they did or did not fill that hour. But part of me can’t overlook the flaws in the pacing or the incredibly cartoonish booking in the middle. The first twenty minutes of the match were quite good, and I had high hopes when Cena and Orton began to make their way up the ramp. But then Orton went all Wile E. Coyote with the pyro control panel, and seriously, where do you go with a match when you’ve still got thirty minutes to burn and one guy has already tried to BLOW UP his opponent? The answer, as it turns out, is that you slow the match way the hell down for ten minutes, and then have Orton run like hell for five more minutes (which may be totally in character and make perfect sense from a storyline point of view, but is still boring to watch). But here’s the real problem. I loved the Cena / Orton match from Breaking Point, and I liked the Cena / Orton match from Hell in a Cell, but this big blow-off match didn’t come close to either of those two previous matches in my mind. And if the big blow-off match can’t compete with the previous matches in a serious, then what’s the point?
Lansdell: This match was awesome if you take it as a story with a match attached. It took the I Quit match and amped it up a level, and did some things we’ve never seen before. Do you have any idea how hard it is to do that these days? A lot of people will point to the drop-off in the middle of the match, but those same people will gloss over the lousy start to HBK-Hart. Was this as good as that? Even though I think their match was overrated, I say no. But it was excellent. Not many people in WWE can go balls-to-the-wall for an hour, so the slowdowns are to be expected. Unlike with HBK-Hart, they had a built-in reason for it to happen here because of Orton’s style. As always his facial expressions added a layer to the match, and Cena’s comebacks were tempered by Orton’s tactics. He had a game plan for the match and it would have worked too, if not for the meddling ex-Jamaican. The stalling, the running away…IT ALL MADE SENSE FOR THE CHARACTER. I was dreading this match, but instead it ends up being in my top 5 of the year. Near the top of it, in fact.
McNew: This match, much like the participants that were involved, is going to be very polarizing. I suspect most will either love it or hate it with little in between. I thought the match was absolutely brilliant, and about as well done as you could expect out of these two. When the match was announced I compared it to HHH vs. The Rock, and it reminded me a lot of that match in execution. They cut a frenetic pace in the first half hour which all sorts of crazy spots mixed in, and then the second half while slowed a bit was brilliant psychology. Cena’s comeback came at the right time, and the finish was one of the most dramatic on the edge of my seat moments of the year. Second only to the near fall’s at the end of Taker-HBK. For that I feel that this is right now the clear runner up to Taker-HBK in the match of the year voting.
Thomas: This wasn’t a match, it was a Michael Bay film. Explosions, overblown story, hero coming back from the dead…but at least the dialogue was a bit better. Cena and Orton made the most out of this match and the story that was told was fantastic, although in this case it made the ring work suffer some. I felt that the “chase and run” portion of the match heavily killed the momentum and flow, and then Cena’s sudden, Hogan-esque comeback got the crowd hot but hurt things for me. The finish was nicely done but there were too many problems in the middle for me to give it a truly great rating. Instead, it was just very good.
Small: While I was not expecting the world out of this match, I definitely was interested in how this match would turn out. The best case scenario would have been a remake of the Triple H/Rock classic which hid both man’s lack of moveset with creative booking and a dramatic final ten minutes. The worst case scenario would have been a remake of Hart/HBK, a match that I still haven’t made it all the way through due to a multitude of rest holds and backbreakers. In the end, we got a little taste of both matches. While there were plenty of highlights in the match (Orton’s first RKO, the top rope FU, and some inspired brawling), my biggest fault with the match was that it peaked too early. After a campy Special FX period, the following twenty minutes grinded the match to a halt. I understand the storyline of Orton running from Cena; however, it happened TOO EARLY in the match. If Orton started running from Cena’s comebacks with under ten minutes on the clock, it would have brought some much needed drama to the match. However, that never happened as Cena made his superhuman comeback with over ten minutes to go (and really he was never in a rush). While I liked the brutality of the FU through the announce table, it did not make up for the lack of urgency in the final five minutes. The final few minutes featured a predictable ref bump and one attempt at the STF. Why no counters or a rope break? For two guys known for hot finishes, I was really unsatisfied with how the match ended. A better finish with some better pacing could have really saved this match (and the show).
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***
Lansdell: ****
McNew: ****¾
Thomas: ***¾
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: ***¾

Final Thoughts

Match of the Night:
Slimmer: None
Okay, maybe I’m cheating by not naming a match of the night, but there’s just no way for me to differentiate between the matches. They were all fine. They were palatable. But there was nothing really important or exciting or memorable, aside from possibly that great Batista heel turn, which technically wasn’t even part of a match. If these matches were breakfast cereals, they’d all be that high fiber stuff that helps you poop but tastes like cardboard. And when I pay forty bucks for a pay-per-view, I want some damn Fruity Pebbles, damn it!
Lansdell: Randy Orton vs. John Cena (****)
Are you kidding? There could be no other choice. These two killed themselves for our enjoyment, and sadly many people won’t get what they did and will choose to blast it because nobody ended up with a face covered in blood or falling off the TitanTron or hitting some sick head bumps. Awesome story, awesome execution.
McNew: Randy Orton vs. John Cena (****¾)
Easy choice here. The rest of the card was just filler to get us to this main event, and the show was going to live or die with this one as any PPV with an iron man would. This match had to deliver, and deliver it did in a BIG way. Not much more you can say. Easily the best match they’ve had together, and arguably the best match either has had period.
Thomas: Randy Orton vs. John Cena (***¾)
The main event was the best match as it well should have been. Orton and Cena worked overtime to make this one work and I appreciated that, though I think their limitations weren’t well-suited to an Iron Man Match. But they get points for trying.
Small: The Undertaker vs. Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk (***)
Yikes, I gave the majority of the matches the same rating. Hmm… let’s give it to Batista for his quotable promo and his awesome beatdown of Rey Mysterio.

Trash of the Night:
Slimmer: None
Some of the match may have been a bit underwhelming (Miz / Morrison, Taker / Batista / Mysterio / Punk), but there was certainly nothing on this card that I would consider trash. And hey, much love to the Divas for giving me absolutely no reason to even consider giving them TotN honors.
Lansdell: Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown (**¾)
Not that it was bad, but nothing was worse or let me down more. They were on a hiding to nothing with the format, and it showed.
McNew: Team Raw Divas vs. Team Smackdown Divas(**¼)
Nothing really stood out as being terrible, so I will go with my default answer. The diva match. As always eliminate this from the card and you’ve got more time for the others.
Thomas: The Undertaker vs. Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk (**¾)
Nothing really earned a “trash” rating here and I hate to give it, but if I must I have to give it to the four-way match. It just lacked too much and I didn’t like the finish, although Batista’s turn was pretty great.
Small: Team Raw Divas vs. Team Smackdown Divas (**½)
I guess the Diva’s match was the “worst” match of the show but even that wasn’t bad.

Final Analysis:
Slimmer: The bottom line here is that this is one of those cards that you could very easily forget ever happened. The three Bragging Rights matches may have been fun, but ultimately they accomplished very little and will more than likely have virtually no impact on future booking directions. The World Heavyweight Championship Match was really just a way to build to the Batista heel turn, and honestly, the turn could have just as well taken place on Smackdown. And while this may have been the honest-to-goodness, cross-our-hearts-and-hope-to-die LAST (and we mean it this time) confrontation between John Cena and Randy Orton, at the end of the day it sort of just feels like just another time that they’ve traded the belt. And so in the end we’ve got a show full of middling matches, all of which I rated between **½ and ***¼. And that’s not a good pay-per-view – hell, it’s just a passable episode of Raw.
Lansdell: It’s not really fair to call this PPV of the year based on the average rating, because of the low match count. I’m sitting here half an hour after the PPV and I don’t have the feeling that I just watched an awesome PPV. It was good, certainly better than some of the crap we’ve been forced to endure, but not one of the best. That Iron Man will be heavily hyped on WWE TV for the next several weeks and by the time that’s done, we’ll remember it as the best ever. Well, many people will. Overall this show was better than I thought, but my expectations were low.
McNew: Basically a one match show with an hour and a half of filler. The filler wasn’t bad at all, and the one match the show was built on delivered more than even the most optimistic WWE fan could ever hope for. The less than memorable undercard keeps this one from getting a perfect rating, but still one of the better PPV’s of the year.
Thomas: As a whole, this Pay-Per-View didn’t mean much. Nothing was atrocious or even that bad, but outside of the main event nothing was that memorable either. It was all middle-of-the-road and was just a way to bide time until Survivor Series. We had some good turns and that helped things a bit, and I did enjoy Cena/Orton despite its flaws. In the end, I think this is a show that’s lost in the shuffle and will not be well-remembered by the end of the year.
Small: With a fun, yet unspectacular, undercard, it was up to the main event to determine how the show would be viewed. While the Iron Man Match was by no means a disaster, I don’t see much replay in the match. If you want to see a long John Cena match, I suggest you dig up his match with Shawn Michaels from Raw a few years back. If you want to watch a PPV with a bunch of three star matches that will mean nothing in the long run, then this is your show.