wrestling / Columns
The Contentious Ten 01.25.10: Top Non-Rumble Matches From The Royal Rumble PPV
Not a lot to say this week as this is a really big column, so onto the comments!
Not too sound like a bitch, but what happened to the other dude doing the ‘Top 10 Lists’?
Posted By: Q
Your guess is as good as mine. John Peters asked for his released/was fired/on military leave/abducted by aliens/kidnapped by pirates/pregnant/was murdered by the Canadian Mafia/was turned into a frog/on a top secret mission on Pandora. I don’t know what happened, so whatever sounds most entertaining is the answer. What I do know is that Larry offered this column to the staff, and nobody took it. I saw an opportunity for a fresh start and I took it.
I know that doesn’t clear anything up, but I will choose to respect Mr. Peters’ privacy and not ask questions.
10.) 1998
9.) 1989
8.) 2008
7.) 2005
6.) 2007
5.) 2000
4.) 1990
3.) 2004
2.) 1992
1.) 2001
Cannot BELIEVE you threw 1999 into the honorable mentions. You deserve every bit of troll flame you get for that one.
Posted By: The REAL MP
I do believe that I said it was a guilty pleasure. Yes, I know it’s horrible, but that’s why I like it. I find a lot of Royal Rumbles to be very boring (like 1998 for instance) because it’s just a bunch of guys throwing punches and trying to toss each other out, and very little replay value. The 1999 rumble is a car wreck, and that’s why I like it. Basically, unless it’s a corvette, you aren’t going to notice the car unless it’s wrecked. Sometimes bad wrestling is more entertaining than acceptable wrestling, ya know?
This list is NOT FAIR TO FLAIR!
Posted By: The Brain
If Flair won, would you do or say anything bad again?
Hubbard tried to fix that “two number 3’s problem” and fucked it up some more with “two number 2’s”. What a failure of a writer, bless him.
Bring back the old top ten writer, he was good, unlike this trash who can’t even count to ten.
Posted By: Guest#1729
Between this and the Dykstra typo*, I probably had more facepalms last week than I’ve ever had. All I can say is that I did a lot of moving around on that list, especially around those numbers, and sometimes things slip through the cracks. I will make an effort not to repeat this incident, but I’m not promising anything.
*I would like to apologize to 411’s fine Jewish readers, whom I bear no ill will against. Shalom.
ON TO THE LIST!
Honorable Mentionssize=2>
Triple H vs. Kurt Angle, Royal Rumble 2001: Heel versus heel matches rarely work. You have to have two very good workers with the right storyline, and the crowd willing to cheer at least one of the two. With the history involving Stephanie, there was enough emotional investment from the fans to get into this match, which featured Triple H back when he was the best wrestler in the world and Angle rapidly closing in on replacing him. It’s also very, VERY different from what you typically see out of the two these days, which makes it one of my favorites from either man.
The Orient Express vs. The New Foundation, Royal Rumble 1992: The year before this had one of the best opening matches ever between the Orient Express and the Rockers, and this was a worthy successor. Owen Hart provided the high flying energy of the Rockers while Neidhart brought his power to the table, and the result was a high energy match that kept this from being a one match show. Not up to the standard of its predecessor, but a darn fine match in it’s own right.
The Rock vs. Chris Jericho, Royal Rumble 2002: Sometimes I lament the fact that we never got a clean match on a major show between these two, because they had remarkable chemistry. This wasn’t as good as their amazing No Mercy match, but it is almost as good. Honestly, this was originally on the list until I saw the fantastic match at number six. Rock would move on to bigger and better things after this, while Jericho’s title reign continued to flounder, but this match is definitely the highlight of his run.
Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart, Royal Rumble 1993: The match once again finds its way into my honorable mentions, but this time there are no Sean Waltman matches to make it’s inclusion preposterous! BWAHAHA! Anyway, I really like this match and I appreciated WWE giving Hall a decent push and letting him have the throwaway title match at the Rumble. It certainly worked better with Razor than Bob Holly. This is just a great technical babyface versus powerhouse heel match with no shenanigans, something I miss.
Jeff Hardy vs. Edge, Royal Rumble 2009: While I don’t think these two are in the same league as the men I am about to compare them to, these guys are kind of the Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart of the last decade. They started off in great tag teams and great matches with each other, and became huge singles stars that had a great feud with each other. This was a really good match with a ton of history behind it, and is one of only six times that the WWE Championship has changed hands a the event.
Bret & Owen Hart vs. The Quebecers, Royal Rumble 1994: While the in-ring action was good enough (Owen and Bret were in it, it’s gotta be solid at minimum), the story of this match is what puts it over the top for me. Owen felt he was in Bret’s shadow and Bret was just trying to keep the peace with this tag team. But when it came time for Bret to tag Owen, he opted not to and kept fighting. Owen turned on Bret and The Quebecers got a huge victory over Bret. It’s kind of cliché now but it is still really good and works better given the two performers.
The Dudley Boyz vs. The Hardy Boyz, Royal Rumble 2000: This was a tables match and, along with the Ladder Match between the Hardyz and E&C at No Mercy, was one of the earlier indicators that WWE’s tag team division was going to be a highlight of 2000. This is a total spotfest but the spots were awe-inspiring at the time and still hold up very well today. I consider this to be the gold standard of Tables Matches, and probably the best Dudley Boyz match aside from the TLC matches.
For those wondering, here’s the criteria.
– Match Quality
– Focus on variety of talent and styles of match
– Personal Preference
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Triple H vs. Shawn Michaelssize=6>
World Championship Last Man Standing Match, Royal Rumble 2004size=4>
This is one of the reasons I am really, REALLY looking forward to the possible Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels match at Wrestlemania this year. Well, actually, two reasons. Yes, the match is good, but take a look at that video package! These guys know how to cut promos on each other and have so much history to work with. I think almost six years without feuding is long enough to retread it. Anyway, back to this match. The former DX had been involved in a rivalry since Shawn’s return to WWE and had just had a barn-burner on RAW. This sort of the antithesis of their wild brawl at Summer Slam in 2002, as it was more of an old-school, psychological match that relied more on emotion than over the top spots. The storytelling is fantastic in this.
The match ranks low on the list because as good as the storytelling was, they were trying to force an epic that wasn’t quite there, largely due to crowd apathy. Royal Rumble title matches have had a tendency to be heatless due to everyone expecting Wrestlemania to have a heel champion going into ‘Mania. But when Shawn hit Sweet Chin Music, you believed he could win. The tie is kind of a rip-off but it was well built to and built to the classic Triple Threat Match at Wrestlemania. And the anti-classic Bad Blood Hell in a Cell, but let’s just try to forget that.
Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Valentinesize=6>
Submission Match, Royal Rumble 1990size=4>
I would really like to thank one of our readers for recommending this match to me a couple of columns ago and providing me a link. While I don’t share the sentiment that it belongs anywhere near the top of this list, I enjoyed this tremendously. A warning for fans under the age of fifteen (or the attention span of one). You are probably going to hate this match. This is two guys telling a story with really basic offense and old-school psychology, without flashy moves or a breakneck pace. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, wrestling is first and foremost entertainment and you should look at what entertains you. But if you want to expand your horizons, watch this match.
Greg Valentine is one of the most underrated talents of all time, and Garvin is well, not. He actually only has about four moves and one is a punch. But he hits really, really hard and he has a great grasp of psychology that makes what he does mean more than the innovative offense of your average WWE midcarder. These two providing a great, hard-hitting match with clear strategies and logical reasons for what they were doing. Really, the last time WWE did anything close to this was Benoit vs. Finlay at Judgment Day ’06, so this match feels really fresh to me. I think they took it a bit too far with the instinctive pins, especially Valentine who was supposed to be one of the cerebral guys in the company, which keeps it from getting any higher on the list. But it certainly deserves its spot.
The Rock vs. Mankindsize=6>
WWF Championship I Quit Match, Royal Rumble 1999size=4>
This match certainly has a degree of infamy thanks to being heavily featured in Beyond the Mat. The most famous part of the match is undoubtedly the multiple stiff, unprotected chair shots to the head that Mankind endures from The Rock. There is more to the match though, as Foley and Rock were in the middle of a memorable rivalry leading into Wrestlemania XV and had created a nice chemistry. While I often say the Attitude Era from around 1998-1999 due the overall poor in-ring work, I have nothing against a good, all-over-the-arena brawl from time to time. This is one of the best, and was one of the first matches where I saw The Rock show that he’s more than just a cocky swagger and a slew of catchphrases. He knows how to have an exciting and emotional match. Foley of course thrives at providing exciting and emotional matches, so that probably helped.
Something that I think is always lost in the psychology of the match is that the screwjob was a last resort. The Rock repeatedly asks Foley if he wants to quit, and beats him down repeatedly to the point where Mick screams out “You’ll have to kill me.” True to his word, nobody interfered in the match, Rock did the work himself until there was no way to do it without help. Rocky really wanted to break Foley and make him quit, and it was only after Foley made it very clear that this was an impossible task that they worked the screwjob. The chairshots that Foley takes and his reaction to them put this match over the top, but the rest is a very good brawl as well.
VIIcolor=red>size=8>
The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaelssize=6>
WWF Championship Casket Match, Royal Rumble 1998size=4>
Undertaker and Shawn Michaels have wrestled one-on-one on four major WWE shows, and they have all been at worst excellent and at best instant classics. This and Ground Zero were probably the worst of the bunch, but they are still awesome. It is also, in my opinion, the best casket match in history and helps tie up the loose ends of 1997 and sets up the rest of 1998, which is what the World Title Match at Royal Rumble should do. You’ve also got historical significance as this is the match where Shawn Michaels suffered the back injury that put him on the shelf for four years. What is truly remarkable is how early that bump happened in the match and that HBK wrestled a good fifteen minutes afterwards with little to no side effects. This also has one of my favorite spots ever when Undertaker does a Tombstone off the apron into the casket.
Ultimately the match was just a tool to lead to the Kane vs. Undertaker match at Wrestlemania XIV, with people coming down to beat down Taker in a callback to his match with Yokozuna five years prior (a match which will not be making this list), before Kane made the save, only to turn on Taker and put him in the casket. He then lit it on fire at the encouragement of Paul Bearer, which provided an awesome visual. While we did get a screwy finish these guys gave one final taste of why their rivalry was so special. This one always gets forgotten about because of the other classics, but it’s a fine match in its own right.
Bret Hart vs. Dieselsize=6>
WWF Championship Match, Royal Rumble 1995size=4>
This was a match I had heard great things about but hadn’t actually seen before doing research for this list. I’m very glad I did. Even with the interference, I have to say I enjoy this match more than the Survivor Series rematch between the two, due to the faster pace and Nash putting in probably his second best effort after his match with Michaels at Good Friends, Better Enemies. This was a babyface vs. babyface match, which was pretty rare at the time, but this one has an edge on it due to the circumstances leading up to it. Bret Hart had been screwed out of the title by Owen Hart and Bob Backland and was more aggressive than ever. Diesel had only just turned face after ditching Shawn Michaels and had beaten Bob Backland in eight seconds for the championship. This was Nash’s first major title defense and Bret’s first shot at the title since losing it.
What happened is that both men, especially Bret, pulled absolutely zero punches in this match. They respected each other, but the title was more important. Bret when push the rules to their very limits and even flat-out break the rules on one occasion when he attacked Diesel’s leg with a chair. Watch as Bret waits until just before the five count to break the figure-fours. I love watching a desperate face nearly break the rules, especially for the sake of settling a grudge or winning a title. Is it a sign of a permanent change in demeanor or something that will be silenced once the goal is achieved? I also like how the referee continues the match after Owen and Michael’s elimination, because it’s a title match, and only throws it out when both men are being beaten by their rivals. The booking here showed how important the WWF Title was and did nothing to hurt either man.
Vcolor=red>size=8>
John Cena vs. Umagasize=6>
WWE Championship Last Man Standing Match, Royal Rumble 2007size=4>
While these two had a pretty solid match at New Year’s Revolution before this, I don’t think anyone came into this match with high expectations. Sometimes low expectations can help a match, but this is good by any but the most biased standards. It is Umaga’s best match easily and arguably John Cena’s best match as well. It wasn’t a technical classic, but it had the great story of the valiant, injured underdog fighting the monster, had a lot of effort and smart work from both guys, great false finishes and one of the more creative endings to any match ever. I personally feel that the effort from the booking team and from the workers was a result of them wanting to prove that Royal Rumble title matches with obvious winners don’t have to be throwaway matches,
The majority of the match was focused on Cena’s rib injury and Umaga targeted it without remorse. Cena was unable to go toe to toe with Umaga and had to use his resourcefulness and pick his spots. The resourcefulness came at it’s peak when Cena was able to dodge Umaga’s big moves with running starts, such the buttalanche that sent the Samoan Bulldozer into the steel steps and a huge running splash that put Umaga through the ECW table. When Cena tried to go with the F-U, his ribs prevented him from holding Umaga up and his head was sandwiched between the steel steps and Umaga’s body in a creative and sick spot. The finish saw Cena use the top ring rope to choke out Umaga with a modified STF-U, and even then it just barely worked. The match put over Umaga as a beast and Cena as a tough and resourceful competitor.
Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jerichosize=6>
Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match, Royal Rumble 2001size=4>
In my opinion, this is the best one-on-one Ladder Match in history. It doesn’t have the historical significance of Michaels vs. Razor or the hatred of Michaels vs. Jericho, but to paraphrase Arnold Furious, it’s as good an execution of the idea as I’ve ever seen. These guys definitely had the sort of competitive rivalry that deserved an epic blow-off, and in this case, the Ladder Match was perfect for that blow-off. This wasn’t a blood feud that need to be settled inside Hell in a Cell (though that would have been awesome), it was a competition over who the best athlete was. The two Canadian Chrises were both awesome wrestlers with unbelievable chemistry with each other, and the result is a nearly flawless match.
I think this match more than any other match lived up to the spirit of the Michaels-Razor classic. The ladder wasn’t used in place of a good match, but a tool to add to an already great match. It was the frosting, not the cake. The ladder spots never come off as contrived and seem to happen almost as if by accident. They are brutal without being over the top and there are many transitions between that keep it from being just a spot fest that ladder matches kind of devolved into around this time. Indeed, the most insane and memorable spot doesn’t even involve a ladder. Benoit going a million miles an hour into the chair is an awesome spot that provided a nice little story moment. This wasn’t just two guys doing dives off a ladder. They didn’t like each other and wanted to hurt the other one. Great action, a great rivalry, and a great blow-off put this among the best in Royal Rumble history.
The Rockers vs. The Orient Expresssize=6>
Royal Rumble 1991size=4>
Matches like these make me long for the days when tag-teams were featured on a regular basis in WWE. I think the most interesting statistic about this match is that neither team officially held the Tag Team Championships, and one was essentially a jobber team. Yet they still get twenty minutes to work and are allowed to steal the show and have the talent to do it. The Rockers are my favorite tag team in wresting because of their lightning-fast pace and incredible double-team moves that would still hold up today. Tanaka and Kato were very capable of keeping up with them but also provided great heel psychology to make the hot tags that much hotter.
I really don’t have a lot to say about this match, because it’s just good old-fashioned tag team wrestling, with two very good teams. Sometimes you really don’t need a lengthy explanation for something, because the match speaks for itself. Matches like this rarely happen in WWE and even more rarely between regular teams, so a match like this is sort of a representation of a bygone era. This is also among the greatest openers in wrestling history and really got the crowd pumped for the event, which was kind of disappointing afterwards.
IIcolor=red>size=8>
Cactus Jack vs. Triple Hsize=6>
WWF Championship Street Fight, Royal Rumble 2000size=4>
If anyone wants to make a case for this being the #1 match, I’m not going to argue. I just happen to prefer the match that is number one. I think my favorite thing about this match is that it happen in January 2000 and is still probably in the top ten matches of 2000-2009. That’s one heck of an accomplishment. Mick Foley was coming close to retirement (the first time anyway) and Triple H was just becoming a top guy and not everyone bought him as WWF Champion yet. Both men had a lot to prove, as Foley wanted to leave a legacy and Triple H wanted to start his. I would say that they accomplished both, as this is one of the finest matches either man had.
When one talks about this match, it’s easy to talk about the barbwire 2×4, the thumbtacks, the wooden palettes that left a huge gash in the Game’s leg, the piledriver on the announce table, the steel chair shot that sent the top section of the chair flying into the aisle way. These are all great moments in the match, and make a great highlight reel. But the match isn’t just a brutal death match. Foley and Helmsley combined brutality with terrific storytelling, making every spot mean something and never stretching believability. The best way I can think of to compare this match is that it did for hardcore wrestling what Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles did for the X-Division style. It combined innovation with tradition, and became a work of art.
Icolor=red>size=8>
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoitsize=6>
WWE Championship Match, Royal Rumble 2003size=4>
There are certain indicators that let you know that a match is really, really great. One of them is when you know the winner coming in, and by the final minutes of the match they have you convinced that the other guy is going to win. When you watch the match on DVD later and you still half-expect the other guy to win on the last false finish, you have something very special indeed. And when the loser gets a standing ovation for his effort, it just puts it even more over the top. I’ve probably watched this match more than any other match ever, and I’m still waiting for Kurt Angle to tap out to the last Crippler Crossface. Along with Kobashi-Misawa vs. Kawada-Taue from ’95 and Eddie vs. Rey from Halloween Havoc, this is my very favorite match ever, and putting any other match at the top of this list would be lying to myself.
For the first half of this match, it’s just a really good Benoit-Angle match, with lots of hard work and a touch of psychology with Benoit going after Angle’s injured knee with the Sharpshooter. But after a double clothesline spot, the match kicks into another gear that most matches just never reach. They have a brilliant series of submission counters (contrived, perhaps, but this IS pro wrestling) and trade German Suplexes back and forth. And when Benoit hits the full-rotation German Suplex on Angle, it doesn’t just make you go “Oh wow, that was cool”, it’s a “Wow, this match is absolutely incredible”. I’m not going to pretend that the match is flawless, because it’s not. It’s in essence a spotfest and they pull out every stop. But this was a match where it was appropriate. Benoit and Angle had put on stellar matches in the past, but this was their swansong, and the competitiveness between them had reached its peak. In the end, it took Angle’s grapevined ankle lock (used rarely at this time) to force Benoit to tap. It’s not perfect, but its close enough, and it’s a race between this and Owen vs. Bret at Mania for best pure wrestling match in WWE history.
*****
Next week is going to suffer a bit from being on Monday, since I have to post it on Sunday before the Rumble. Ideally, I would do a top ten best matches of whoever wins the Royal Rumble. Instead, that will be posted in TWO weeks. Next week’s topic is going to be a major challenge for me, as I will do The Top Ten Hulk Hogan Matches. Well, I gave Bret his due, no need to play favorites.
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