The Contentious Ten 03.08.10: The Top 10 Wrestlemania Moments

Welcome back to the Contentious Ten! Last week’s comments were an interesting bunch. Most either argued about placement due to personal taste, which is cool and encouraged. There was also a surprising amount of Undertaker hatred, which I thought the IWC was past, but irrational hatred will never go out of style. The best part was people calling Taker’s duds with Bundy, Boss Man and Gonzalez the best matches in Mania history. Nice to see we are capable of having a joke that’s actually funny.

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Kane Tombstones Pete Rosesize=6>
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For some reason, this always seems to be overlooked by the IWC when talking about great Wrestlemania Moments. I think part of that is because of our tendency to focus on the in-ring moments, the stories and the spots. Or it could just be our dislike of celebrity involvement in pro wrestling. I don’t know. And true, this doesn’t have any historical significance, and it won’t make you cry. But it’s certainly memorable, and sometimes that’s all you need. I said in the honorable mentions that Andre the Giant choking Bob Uecker was the best celebrity comedy in Wrestlemania for for ten years, but this pretty easily topped it. Pete Rose was a natural on the mic, getting cheap heat on Boston, and then took the Tombstone from Kane to the delight of the crowd. Just one of those random moments that you couldn’t really call happening, but it worked to perfection. I also think this incident is one of the reasons Kane stayed over after Undertaker beat him, and was certainly a good consolation prize. I love Wrestlemania XIV and this is one of the reasons why.

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Ric Flair Retiressize=6>
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If I had been doing this column a year ago, this would probably have been up a few spots. However, given that Ric Flair has come of retirement to face Hulk Hogan multiple times in Australia and is going to be wrestling tonight for TNA Impact, this whole thing has kind of been rendered pointless. It’s not the only tarnished moment on the list, but since all the emotion of the thing is based on his retirement, “unretiring” just destroys the emotion for me. However, I acknowledge that the resentment is still fresh in my mind, and when Flair does retire, I’ll probably be able to look on this as I did two years ago.

A lot of people like to talk about the emotion of Shawn’s farewell of “I’m sorry. I love you.” There’s a good reason for that, because those five words told the whole story of the match. And yes, Ric Flair’s retirement is very special. But lost in all the pageantry is that it’s Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels, two of the very best ever, competing on the biggest stage in wrestling. That’s a dream scenario. If I had to choose a starting point for this moment, it would be when Shawn stops “tuning up the band” and just looks on Flair, and the old gunslinger just accepts his fate. The expression of sorrow and acceptance was too much, and I lost it. I’m not ashamed to say my eyes watered a bit. This was one of the classiest moments in Wrestlemania history.

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Owen Hart Triumphantsize=6>
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One of three times that Bret Hart is going to appear on this list without being the central figure. After Bret and Owen put on a wrestling clinic to open up Wrestlemania X, we got a shocking upset as Owen Hart countered a victory roll and got the win over his brother. The match went a long-way to establishing Owen as a credible wrestler; for all of his attitude and all of his underhanded tactics, he had proven to be Bret’s equal as a wrestler, and it was his cleverness that got him the win. The reaction of Owen, Bret, Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon on commentary just help put the moment over. This was Owen’s time to shine, a total star-making performance on the biggest stage of them all.

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The Boyhood Dream Comes Truesize=6>
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While I personally love the sixty-minute match that preceded it, I’m also aware of my biases for the match. I like long matches, I like technical wrestling, and I LOVE subtle touches. This match is full of them; but it also has huge lapses in psychology and can be boring at times. So while I love it, I personally find it to be highly overrated. However, whatever my feelings on the match may be, there is something very special about seeing Shawn Michaels finally win the big one after a grueling hour of combat. Most of us have dreams, but few of us ever accomplish them. HBK accomplished his, and it’s a great moment for fans to leave vicariously through. Shawn has earned the moniker of Mr. Wrestlemania for his stellar in-ring performances at the show, but for the most part he has been on the losing end and is known more for creating matches than moments. This was his moment, the one Wrestlemania moment that was all about him and his accomplishments, and that’s why it finds its place on the list.

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Steve Austin Joins Mr. McMahonsize=6>
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What makes a good swerve? I think the answer is simple. The swerve must make total, complete sense in the context of the storyline, yet also be so outlandish that nobody would seriously predict it. Steve Austin’s obsession with being champion and being the top guy serve as a plausible reason for his actions here. When you want something so bad that you need it, you will go to any lengths in order accomplishing it. Including “selling your soul”, turning your back on everything you stand for, consequences be damned. So while in retrospect it is easy to explain the storyline….Who on earth could have called this? Mr. Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin…partners in crime? Those two guys whose personal war of ideals was the biggest rivalry in professional wrestling were now working together? Unfathomable! And yet…completely logical. That’s what makes a great swerve. And I don’t think there are many swerves that can top this one.

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Hulk Hogan and The Rock Stare Downsize=6>
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All due respect to the showdowns of Hogan and Andre, and Hogan and Warrior, but as far as I’m concerned, this was the match that most fits the bill of Dream Match. Now, part of this might be showing my youth, but I have to believe that Hogan facing Andre or Warrior wasn’t nearly as farfetched as the idea of Hogan facing The Rock. If I’m wrong, feel free to correct me. The electricity, the anticipation, the roar of the crowd, the intense look on the faces of both men, knowing we are just minutes away from watching the biggest star in wrestling history and perhaps the most entertaining wrestler in history square off…it’s just indescribable. I can’t do it justice. Absolutely surreal moment.

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Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit and Confettisize=6>
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Professional wrestling is fake. The results of the matches are predetermined and the wrestlers aren’t competing against each other, they are working together to tell a story and provide a spectacle. For the typical human being, that is something they will never understand or accept. Critics deride the illusion as an insult. Some people just try to pretend that it is real and cling to that line of thought despite all of the logic. But for us, it is that very illusion, that very premise that makes us love professional wrestling. We’ve all tried to explain it to our non-wrestling friends, yet somehow no comparison or description works. For them, no explanation will do, and for us, no explanation is needed. It is what it is. Yet even though we revel in the magic and illusion, we spend countless hours of our time trying to break it, to get to the real thing. We search for spoilers, scrounge for dirt-sheets, and flaunt our knowledge as if it makes us superior to other, less informed viewers.

But the truth of the matter is that we know very little. Because no matter how much the walls of “kayfabe” have been broken down, professional wrestling is a work. Wrestlers, promoters, and everyone involved makes their living by lying and working you; more often than not, it is impossible to tell where the show ends and reality begins. In some cases, the show doesn’t end. But for all the farce, all the deception, all the drama, there are a few moments where what you see is real. At Wrestlemania XX, Eddie Guerrero retained his WWE Championship and Chris Benoit won the World Heavyweight Championship. That was predetermined. Eddie coming out to celebrate the occasion with Benoit was part of the show. So was the confetti. But the outpouring of emotion between the two friends, the two brothers, was real. Something that genuine cannot be faked; heartfelt embraces, tears of joy, and jubilant jumping because you and your best friend finally made it to the top after over a decade of hard work…no script can bring those out. This was as real as pro wrestling gets. Future events would tarnish it, possibly forever, but when it happened, this was something unbelievable special.

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Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth Reunitesize=6>
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This is actually my all-time favorite Wrestlemania moment and I’m rather annoyed that video clips of this reunion have disappeared from Youtube and Dailymotion. So now you get a screen-saver picture. Awww….what a Kodak Moment!

Ahem…

The story of Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth is one of the most legendary and most beloved stories in all of wrestling. While virtually all other romance stories have fallen flat, the relationship of Savage and Liz spanned years and kept viewers hanging onto every moment of it, to the point where most people can’t even think of The Macho Man without Elizabeth by his side. This was the culmination of the saga, the climax of the emotional roller-coaster. Savage had just lost a retirement match to the Ultimate Warrior, despite giving everything he had left and Sherri Martel helping him the whole way. Now his career was over, and had ended at it’s lowest point- a single foot on his chest and his manager kicking him while he was down. Then Miss Elizabeth ran into the ring from the crowd and fought Martel off, and after a few tense moments where Savage worked out what happened, he and Elizabeth embraced in a moment that brought tears to the eyes of women in attendance. There are moments that are historic, random and emotional, but this calculated reunion outshines the rest. As far as feel good moments in wrestling, you can do no better. The other two on the list top this simply because of their historical significance.

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Steve Austin Passes Out in the Sharpshootersize=6>
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I don’t know what the initial reaction to this match or this moment was when it first happened. I do know that it is impossible to see the long-term ramifications of moments as they happen. History has proven this moment to be perhaps the single most important in wrestling history, with only Hogan beating the Iron Sheik really in contention. On one level, the closing moments of the I Quit match where Austin bleeds in Bret Hart’s Sharpshooter, refusing to quit despite the situation being hopeless is a perfect summation of the match and the rivalry. Both men hate each other and neither will give an inch, so they end up in that predicament. It was dramatic and led to the double-turn, where Austin became a valiant hero for the new generation and Bret became a bitter traditionalist who couldn’t have things just the way he wanted them. It was a brilliant storyline. But it had amazing ramifications; Stone Cold became the biggest star since Hulk Hogan, the Attitude Era begun, WWE beat WCW in the war, and things have never been the same. The courses of two careers changed here, but more importantly, the course of wrestling history changed here. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but the image of Austin bleeding profusely but refusing to give in is worth many more.

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Hulk Hogan Slams Andre the Giantsize=6>
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With all of the great moments that Wrestlemania has brought us over the years, it is becoming harder and harder for this moment to maintain it’s stranglehold at the top. At times, people will argue for one moment or another to take its place, and many have personal favorites. But this moment still stands tall. Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant is immune to time; it was mind-boggling in 1987 and even with all of the other amazing feats of strength and the fantastic underdog stories that have happened since then, it is still amazing. We can debate the technical merits endlessly if we want, but eventually we all have to come to the realization that it doesn’t matter. Hogan slamming Andre is iconic. It’s not A Wrestlemania Moment, it’s THE Wrestlemania Moment. Even people who have no interest in wrestling know about Hogan slamming Andre in front of the massive crowd in the Pontiac Silverdome. They say never say never in wrestling, but I truly believe that Hogan and Andre will never be topped. Wrestling works so differently now, and doesn’t have nearly the cultural impact it had at the time of this match. There are better matches and more emotional moments, but The Slam Heard ‘Round The World has been, and always will be, what Wrestlemania is about. The greatest spectacle in sports or entertainment.

*****

Whew. Next week is going to be my go at the list everyone will always debate: Wrestlemania Matches.