Five-Star Conversation 03.09.10: The Road to WrestleMania

The question of whether or not the overall quality of recent WrestleManias has taken a downward turn can certainly be debated; in my humble opinion, they have. So, with this year’s Grand Daddy of ‘em All looming fewer than 20 days away, I’d say now’s as good a time as any to have a look at what Vince and company are cooking up for this year’s extravaganza. Does it measure up to the hype?

World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho defends against Edge
I was hoping McMahonagement would follow up with these two when Edge injured his Achilles’ tendon and was forced to vacate his half of The UTTTs he shared with Chris Jericho. The quality of venomous promos Jericho spat at Edge after he was forced to find another partner certainly laid the groundwork for a tremendous program upon Edge’s return and, by all rights, the matches and the ensuing dueling mic work would practically take care of themselves, given the skills of both in each area. This also works because we all know that even nefarious heels like Triple H and Edge typically earn huge face pops by fans once they return from an extended absence, so to sow these seeds from Edge’s sickbed made a hell of a lot of sense; it made Jericho a bigger jerk for blaming his partner for his own injury while instilling audience empathy in Edge’s case, as well as giving him a ready-made story to walk into once he returned.

However, everything really played well together to allow us to have a few of the matches that we have on the card come together in good time such that everything makes sense. Shawn Michaels’ obsession with defeating The Undertaker leads him to cost D-Generation-X The UTTTs to ShoMiz, thus freeing up HBK to face Taker…if he can convince Taker to do so. So how does he do it? He sneaks under The Elimination Chamber and, at a crucial moment, costs Taker his belt, taking him out of the title scene for WrestleMania. And so, someone else had to win, and that person was Jericho, who, ostensibly, had heat with the Royal Rumble winner, the returning Edge, who was more than happy to remain on his brand and challenge his former partner for the title he uses to give credence to so much of his haughty bravado. I love this kind of booking, where it seems there’s actual forethought involved in creating a layered, interweaving set of stories, not just a bunch of matches on a card with “BIG NAME” facing “BIG NAME” simply because they both happen to be BIG NAMES.

One of the main criticisms I’ve had in the past in Edge’s regard is that, although he’s a nine-time former world champion, exactly how many of those titles has he actually won in anything resembling a respectable fashion? Granted, yes, he was The Ultimate Opportunist and he cultivated his gimmick in that manner, he played it well and it completely worked for him; however, now is the time for him to prove that he can earn those championships instead of simply outsmarting his foes for them. Of course, I’d love to see him maintain some of that old school sneakiness, because that is part of his overall character and, just because he’s got the kiddies cheering for him now, doesn’t mean he has to completely abandon his foundation. However, that’s a fine line to walk, and should only be attempted by a performer with a certain level of experience and polish. Eddie Guerrero was just such a performer – I believe Edge is, as well (to give a shout out to the comments made last week by 5SC regulars SpankyHamm and KanyonKreist).

It seems McMahonagement is intent upon doing just that in Edge’s regard, because we’ve seen him giving the hard sell since even before Elimination Chamber last month toward ascending to the spot of #2 face on SmackDown! (behind the legendary Undertaker), especially over the last couple of weeks as he burrows into the mind of The Champion. However, am I the only one who’s getting REALLY tired of this whole SearSpearSpearSpear business? I mean, there’s hard sell and there’s over-aggressive panhandling.

I recognize McMahonagement wants Edge to be firmly ensconced at a certain level and he certainly has all the necessary tools by which to achieve and maintain that level. I also get that a key component to achieving that status is to get over his finisher, The Spear. It’s one of those exciting finishers that can be popped off literally out of nowhere, such as Sweet Chin Music or The RKO, or can also be audience-inclusive as Edge crouches in wait in the far corner, stalking his prey, two incredibly effective facets of a finishing maneuver. It’s also proven that a finisher has the ability to help solidify a performer’s character and round out the manner in which he’s viewed and appreciated by the fans, look at Steve Austin and The Stunner, for example. But this obnoxious pandering is wearing me thin, personally…am I the only one?

With respect to Edge’s Spear, BTW, I recall when he first introduced it into his arsenal and Larry referred to it as “The World’s Most Dangerous Hug”, because, compared with Batista and The Big Show’s Spears (to say nothing of the remembrance of Goldberg’s use of the move, which wasn’t as steeped in history as it is by today’s standards), it seemed quite tame by comparison. However, Matt Striker (and not Josh Mathews…hahaha!) describing last week on SmackDown! exactly why Edge’s Spear is so devastating (the fact that he can extend his full 6’2″ frame behind the move as he pushes off with his long legs creates a torque that forces the air out of his opponent’s lungs) is one of so many qualities of why he’s one of the best in the business today.

So what of the match itself? Quite frankly, and call me out if I’m allowing my Jericholism to talk for me here, Jericho has been Edge’s bitch week after week after week on television. And I don’t think it has dick to do with Edge’s claim that he’s in the head of The Champion; rather, Edge just has been able to seemingly intuit Jericho’s intentions, dodge his attack and counter with a Spear. To me, thus far, it seems, were I a casual fan of Raw who decided to start checking out SmackDown! on The Road to WrestleMania, I’d think Friday night had a bitch for a Champion and that the match was going to be a one-sided foregone conclusion. Of course, we know both of these proud performers will turn it up for when “the lights’re never brighter”, to quote JBL, and that we could have a real sleeper between them, but the build thus far seems a hell of a lot more focused on taking Edge to an even higher echelon than building a tooth-and-nail battle for The Belt between two capable foes.

World Wrestling Entertainment Champion Batista defends against John Cena
I was kinda rolling my eyes at first over this one, because of the way Batista won/was given The WWET last month at Elimination Chamber, because it felt as if McMahonagement was saying, “Okay, that whole Sheamus experiment was sure fun, but now it’s time to get serious, so…thanks for coming, Red! [swipes belt from Sheamus] Here ya go, Dave! [tosses belt to Batista]” I admire the fact that McMahonagement had courage and faith enough to elevate a new talent like Sheamus (even though such elevation was fraught with flaws, and we’ve discussed them all extensively here in earlier months), and I know that it’s actually more likely that an incumbent champion stands a better chance of losing his belt in such an environment than retaining it, but, with things going down the way they did with The WHT, which made absolute sense across the board, for both belts to switch hands a month prior to WrestleMania gave me the sense that “Whoops, time’s a-wastin, we need to get the pieces in order!”, especially considering that Vince totally “Money in the Bank’d” Cena without the briefcase. It felt cheap and contrived and set me off on the wrong foot where this program was concerned.

I started to appreciate the logic behind the whole scheme when Vince explained it the next night on Raw, that, in exchange for Batista taking out his current obsession Bret Hart’s new best buddy Cena, that he’d grant Big Dave a title match whenever he wanted. Okay, that made a little more sense, but, and I’m asking here, would it have made a little more sense for us to have known that Vince and Dave were conspiring in some fashion prior to Elimination Chamber, prior to Batista taking out Cena, even? It seems less desperate and “hot-shotty” if we had some inkling, although to what end was still a mystery. Does that resonate with you…?

Then, last Monday, Batista confronted Cena after having beaten him down in an extended thrashing where Cena simply asked…WHY? And Batista launched into what I perceived to be the greatest promo of his career thus far. The Altered Beast chronicled the WWE histories of both Cena and him, how they pretty much broke into the company at the same time, went through developmental at the same time, got their start on SmackDown! around the same time…but that, somewhere, somehow along the line, the company chose Cena to be the face of WWE, when he’s convinced it should have been him…and he resents and hates Cena for it. Despite the fact that Batista was dressed like a model from the rough trade section of the International Male catalog, his promo was nuanced and passionate, the quality of which I don’t think a face Batista could have delivered and speaks to why I am so on board with this elevated heel persona he’s been cultivating since having betrayed Rey Mysterio. Batista’s promo still doesn’t mend the fences in my book over the way we started off with a cheap shot in having switched the title, but we seem to have locked into a solid groove and I’m really enjoying it!

What remains now, though, is that we have a certain duality since we have two top faces each dead set upon winning his brand’s title on the biggest stage of them all. Are we really going to have two happy-snappy endings this year?

It strikes me that Batista needs to keep this title for a while. If he has one real weakness in his gimmick, and, I might add, the reason he went heel in the first place, it’s because kissing babies and doing the right thing was leaving him coming like a nice guy…last, and now’s the time to get serious, throw off all the baggage and focus all that pent up rage and aggression toward being The World Wrestling Entertainment Champion. To lose the belt after just one month is going to make him appear as if it doesn’t matter what his mindset is or where his head is at, he’s just not championship material. Perhaps he can be moved to Raw somehow (striking another deal with Vince…?) and continue to feud with Cena over the belt post-WM with Vince in his ear, using this psychology as a means to motivate him?

And what about Edge/Jericho? It’s a foregone conclusion that Edge is going to score his 11th world title at some point, and I know it would be an incredible WrestleMania moment for him if he could do it later this month, but if McMahonagement is really serious about creating Edge as a tip-top hero, having him make a bitch of Jericho all the way to WrestleMania, then having Jericho retain through underhanded methods to set up a lengthy chase, where Edge finally wins the big one against the eeeeeeeeevil Jericho is the way to do it. It’s an industry cliché, for crying out loud, there’s money in the chase. Performers of a much less talented stock have been made chasing a hated heel champion. THIS is Edge’s golden ticket. McMahonagement shouldn’t shortchange themselves, Edge and the fans by cashing in on a WrestleMania moment over a carefully booked program that will serve them and edge better in the long run.

Unified Tag Team Champions ShoMiz: The Big Show & The Miz defend against John Morrison & R-Truth
Am I the only one who thinks Striker’s name Respect & Wisdom suits the challengers beautifully?

One characteristic Larry and I share vehemently is that all major titles should be defended at a marquee event like WrestleMania, but, in The Miz’ case, I’m backing down from that and I’ll tell you why. The fact that The Miz comes to the ring wearing no fewer than three title belts does so much for his character’s ability to act as reprehensibly, disgustingly, deliciously obnoxious as we need him to be and it’s that brashness that is helping to make him what he’s becoming on Raw…a star. (I really wish they’d play up more The Miz getting in people’s faces and being the most bombastic ass he can be, saying and doing whatever he wants because he knows he’s got Show to back him up…maybe after WrestleMania…?) The fact that defending The UTTTs gives three other performers something to do and a WrestleMania payday makes me okay with The UST not being on the line, since it’s still being utilized in a passive sense as part of The Miz’ gig (maybe he could be forced into defending it the next night on Raw…?).

The build in terms of the challengers has confused me, though. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve given props to Truth here in the past couple weeks, and Morrison is one of my absolute favorites on either roster at the moment, but did it seem to anyone else that they were playing the buddy-buddy thing a little too closely and that, combined with the whole hurt ankle thing and effectively cancelling one another out of Money in the Bank, they seemed more destined to turn on one another or to have one turn heel on the other than to end up challengers to The UTTTs? Perhaps that could still go down? After all, with Taker back and Edge being hard-sold, perhaps Morrison is no longer needed to be that high-profile face SmackDown! required after WrestleMania last year? That could be a capital way to push this organic wave of fan support swelling underneath Truth at the moment, by having a trusted friend turn on him, especially since Morrison would be turning on the fans, as well. Perhaps losing to ShoMiz will be the proverbial straw to the camel’s back…?

The Undertaker’s Streak versus Shawn Michaels’ Career
Correct me if I’m wrong (and last week proved that, if nothing else, there’s plenty of you out there with your little red pens out and ready to do just that and only that), but I think this story has been building the longest of any that we have this year. Hell, in an inactive fashion, ever since we first saw Taker and HBK in the same vicinity, they’ve been glowering at one another, despite even having been on the same team in a duel-branded six-man tag match. We all know that HBK’s personal obsession with defeating Taker at WrestleMania to avenge the loss he knows he didn’t earn last year has taken root, festered and blossomed into a dark and thorny flower that has polluted his mind and soul. It doesn’t even appear to be a matter of right or wrong, simply of competitive principle, such that, if he can’t score a successful decision against The Demon from Death valley, he doesn’t deserve to continue his career, that enough will be enough.

It strikes me that there’s a real story here beyond what we’re seeing on the surface, HBK’s obsession and Taker’s unwillingness to allow himself to be The Heartbreak Kid’s personal shooting gallery, giving Michaels opportunity after opportunity to knock down all the ducks until he’s satisfied, HBK resorting to very heelish tactics indeed by costing Taker his title. (There could be a chance to really go old school and have HBK recall that costing Taker The HWT twelve years ago was how he got Taker’s attention in the first place.) With HBK’s Christian beliefs and Taker’s Dark Side, this could really become a story of final redemption versus the reaping of a soul who’s outlasted his purpose, and, were taker playing a heel character, I think this story would have played beautifully, as it speaks to both men’s characters in a very literal, though poetic manner, while still having an anchor in kayfabe. Notwithstanding, considering last year’s clash was pretty light on story, it’s awesome to see this one shaping up in so solid a manner.

How is this going to play out? I honestly cannot say. I know both men are closer to retiring than debuting in WWE, but I know nothing of either man really, actively contemplating hanging ‘em up, certainly not this soon. If HBK loses and is forced to “retire” (quotes because, really, who in wrestling really ever retires, right, Brother?), it’s going to be another story…maybe Shawn will head back to the kitchen and cook for a living…? Seriously, though, speaking as a fan, as much a bigger supporter of HBK than I am Taker, though having a profound respect for each, I’d kinda rather see Taker win this one, because HBK does not need to be the one to end the streak. That needs to go to an up-&-comer, because that will MAKE him. HBK “retired” Flair last year, he doesn’t need to end the streak this year.

But what will happen remains to be seen.

Incidentally, I agree with Jim Ross, that video package featuring Placebo’s cover of Kate Bush’s spectacular “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” was one of the most breathtaking the company has ever produced, and that’s saying something! The original remains one of my very favorite songs of the ‘80s and it was awesome to hear someone had covered it, even if I much prefer the original. Here’s the video for those who’ve never heard it (mind you, I’m not wild about the video itself):

Money in the Bank: Christian, Kane, Dolph Ziggler, MVP, Jack Swagger, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin and one opponent still to-be-named
As it stands now, it looks as if Christian is the front-runner to walk with the briefcase, considering the momentum he had having been the standard-bearer for ECW for virtually as long as he’s been back under The WWE Umbrella, although it’s likely my own Peepdom encouraging me to say as much. Furthermore, the fact that Christian was the champion of a brand that, for all intents and purposes, failed (this in the eyes of Vince, further validating his apparent belief that he doesn’t see a champion when he looks at Christian, despite his own contribution into killing of ECW), I don’t think he’ll get the nod, and if he does, it’s to make an example of the fact that, just because one wins the match and the briefcase, it doesn’t guarantee that one will end up winning the belt for which he challenges, as much as it hurts me to suggest that in Christian’s regard.

Quite frankly, the rest of the line-up for this year’s $itB are a collection of performers Vince recognizes as reliable, mid-card hands who can create and execute an exciting match and will be willing to take some sick ladder bumps to pop the crowd and create a spectacle, but aren’t going to have to check an extra bag when they fly.

No, considering the way things are going over on SmackDown!. it’s pretty obvious that this last spot is going to belong to Drew McIntyre. I hate how this has been handled. It seems to me McMahonagement is running about three stories in one in McIntyre’s regard right now. It’s simply overkill, none of them are being properly spotlighted and the whole process is suffering as a consequence. It’s completely unnecessary to run an undefeated angle simultaneously with McIntyre being The USC. Why not push him as being undefeated until he challenges for The UST and gets pinned clean at a major PPV? He throws a shit fit and freaks out, refocuses, demands a rematch and then ends up rebounding by scoring the title? Then give him a solid run, he loses the belt, but rebounds from that by being included in and winning $itB. That’s a whole year’s worth of booking right there, but, no, we have to scrunch it all together and water down the meaning of the whole thing because in WWE, making an omelet ends up being scrambled eggs. No patience. Edge versus Drew McIntyre for SummerSlam anyone?

Bret Hart versus Mr. McMahon
The build for this one has me a little cold, too. It seems so shallow and cut-&-dried. Bret is being the bigger man, Vince is a dick. The fact is, the premise for this fight has been there for a dozen years, there really doesn’t need to be any more story than what we already had hanging in the air for over a decade. The thing is, how many times has Bret been invited back only to be made a fool of, then he leaves, says goodbye, is made a fool of again, comes back to say goodbye for real, gets wants a match, Vince agrees, wait, Vince doesn’t, then goads Bret into a match…sigh. Just fight already.

Again, I’m with Jim Ross, in that I have no idea what kind of a match we’re going to see, considering the fact that Vince is 85 and roided to the gills and one more mistaken accident and Bret could potentially end up having another stroke in front of tens of thousands of people and a PPV audience at home (I’m obviously overstating the dangers there). One thing is certain, we’re going to see Vince twisted up in The Sharpshooter, pounding the mat in submission.

This will be a special moment and the quality of which Bret really deserves and I’m pleased he and his fans are going to get it. Should be fun, even if it won’t be the kind of technical masterpiece I’m sure Bret pictured for his final match.

We stand to see three more matches added, as well:

Randy Orton versus Ted DiBiase versus Cody Rhodes at least in some fashion, because we’ve seen virtually every incarnation possible among these three, short of Rhodes and DiBiase turning on one another and Legacy imploding completely. Perhaps we’ll see some sort of gimmick tagged into this one, although with a ladder match already on the card and Extreme Rules coming up next month, one wonders if they’ll want to play that hand so soon…? And who will go over? This really needs to be DiBiase and Rhodes’ times to shine if they’re truly stepping out on their own out of the protective nest of Legacy…but which one goes over…? Maybe we have a DQ to facilitate upping the ante for next month…?

Rey Mysterio versus CM Punk
This one’s been brewing for a few weeks on SmackDown!. The story, quite frankly, hasn’t been too terribly spectacular, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s an undercard match that is going to be a sleeper hit of the show if what Rey and Punk delivered a few weeks ago on TV implies. Of course, Mysterio will overcome the three-on-one odds The Straight-Edge Society will pose against him and provide a feel-good win for the kids. This might even open the show.

Sheamus versus Triple H, or, When Work-Out Partners Collide. This one got a bit of a late start, due to the fact that neither man had been medically cleared to perform on the Raw following Elimination Chamber, so all we really got the following week was Sheamus jumping Tri from behind following DX’s unsuccessful bid to recapture The UTTTs from ShoMiz, putting him through the announce table. More will go down on tonight’s Raw (I’m writing this mere hours before the show airs here on the West coast).

I have a sinking feeling this will be another example of Triple H biting off more ring generalship than he can actually chew (see Scott Steiner at The Rumble), although I could be wrong. However, after what was considered almost unanimously a disappointing match with Orton last year, one has to be inclined to believe that Triple H is going to be determined to please this year.

Of course, we’ll have at least one Divas match thrown in, likely Mickie James settling the score against Michelle McCool and Simply Flawless…or Simply Nauseating, as I like to call them. Look, ladies, The Beautiful People is a great gimmick, let them have it. You’re making fools of yourselves trying to act half your age. Between The Beautiful People and The Real Housewives…there’s Simply Flawless.