411’s Instant Access 04.25.10: WWE Extreme Rules 2010

• Scott Slimmer, author of Don’t Think Twice.
• Chris Lansdell, 411’s Games Editor and author of Gaming’s 3Rs.
• Jeremy Thomas, editor of Wrestling’s 4Rs and author of The Hush-Hush Movie News Report.
• Mike Uphoff, author of the 411’s WWE Smackdown Report.
• Jeff Small, author of the Tuesday Small-For-All News Report.

Okay kids, enough with the explanations. Let’s get to the wrestling.

Non-Title Gauntlet Match
ShowMiz (Champions) vs. John Morrison & R-Truth
ShowMiz (Champions) vs. MVP & Mark Henry
ShowMiz (Champions) vs. The Hart Legacy
Match Result: Showmiz defeats John Morrison & R-Truth by disqualification (3:20).
The Miz defeats MVP after a knockout punch from the Big Show (1:48).
David Hart Smith defeats the Miz with the Hart Attack (0:10).
Match Length: 5:18 (total)
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I’m usually skeptical of impromptu matches on pay-per-view, and this match did little to change my opinion. None of these three matches were long enough to deserve being on pay-per-view, and in reality this entire gauntlet match was really meant to be more of an angle than a real match. I like the idea of having the Hart Dynasty feud with ShowMiz, especially given the fact that Bret Hart is still around to mentor them, but this match and this angle should have been featured on Raw instead of a pay-per-view. However, I will allow for the possibility that this match was scheduled for last week’s Raw and simply had to be postponed due to WWE’s recent volcano-related travel issues. For that reason I’m willing to give this entire angle the benefit of the doubt, but that is contingent upon the Hart Dynasty eventually winning the Undisputed Tag Team Championship in order to pay off both the use of this pay-per-view time as well as Bret Hart’s return to WWE.
Lansdell: First of all, is John Morrison mentally delayed? I mean, full credit for a great counter to the goozle, but dude…let go of the hold. Numbskull. Anyway, the first of the three was short, dumb and only there to get Truth and Morrison on the show. The MVP and Henry. Wait, they’re still a team? They looked better than Truth and Morrison, and Henry managed to avoid throwing a drink at anyone while in the ring, but the finish to that section of the match was almost a carbon copy of every other ShowMiz match we’ve seen. Then the Harts come down and be all cool and beat down Miz, who had just taken one finisher. What part of this was supposed to impress me about the Harts, or make me believe they could beat ShowMiz? I would have preferred Harts-ShowMiz straight up, made by Teddy Long.
Thomas: ShowMiz takes on half the freaking roster! Seriously, I get what they were going for, but I don’t think having your new challengers winning only AFTER they get past two other teams who looked competitive. The in-ring action was mostly good; I thought that Morrison and Truth looked mostly good against the champions, and the ending was a good way to have Show Miz advance past them without making Morrison or Truth look weak. The Mizark/MVP was just a retread of a hundred other ShowMiz matches, including MVP getting pinned by Miz AGAIN, and then you had the Harts wipe out Miz for the win. I’m glad to see the Harts get a title shot, but I don’t think this was the way to build them up. Still, it wasn’t a total waste.
Uphoff: I’m going to include the promo that Miz had before the match in the rating. This was a nice way for all the guys to make a paycheck, and leads to a Unified Tag Title Match between the Hart Dynasty and ShowMiz tomorrow on RAW. I’m excited to see it. That being said, I thought this was a great way to open the show, for a thrown together match. Don’t know why Teddy Long made the match, but it served its purpose and the crowd was into it. I liked the leg drop/Standing SSP combo from Palace of Truth, and I always love the Springboard Hart Attack. Miz on the mic with Teddy Long was great, and Show shutting up Miz by covering his mouth with his hand was even better.
Small: This match was a mess. Now granted, I have a feeling that this entire segment was supposed to take place on Raw last week, but didn’t thanks to the volcano. That said, there’s no sense in booking three two minute matches unless you want all eight participants to look weak or if there was a bet on another MVP vs. Miz impromptu PPV match. And if there was, can it please stop now?
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *½
Lansdell: **
Thomas: **
Uphoff: ***
Small: *
Average Match Rating: **

Hair Match
Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk w/ Luke Gallows and Serena
Match Result: CM Punk defeats Rey Mysterio with the Go-2-Sleep.
Match Length: 15:39
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Rey Mysterio and CM Punk have always had great chemistry with each other in the ring, but I’m not sure they were really able to properly showcase that chemistry at WrestleMania or tonight. One of the major problems is that their last two pay-per-view matches had stipulations that only affected one of the two competitors. At WrestleMania, the match stipulation only affected Rey Mysterio, and tonight the match stipulation only affected CM Punk, and the result was that Mysterio seemed the easy pick to win at WrestleMania while Punk seemed like the easy pick to win tonight. These two guys will always put on entertaining matches when they face each other, but I just don’t feel like they’ve been able to really cut loose in this feud. I’d love to see them get a rubber match at the next pay-per-view, but the upcoming draft may very well mean the end of this feud. However, even with all of those quibbles and complaints taken into consideration, you still have to give credit to Mysterio and Punk for putting on a compelling wrestling match under sub-optimal conditions.
Lansdell: Well, this match delivered as it should have at Mania. Plenty of action, lots of swank reversals, high speed and the return of probably-Joey-Mercury. Punk winning was really the only result here, and sets up a third and final match, likely hair vs. mask or mask and membership at Over the Limit. The problem I had with this match was that…it was not extreme. It had half a stipulation. What’s the good of that? Why have a PPV format that you don’t stick to? The ref counted while they were outside, sent the SES to the back…it was just a regular match. A good one, but it annoyed me to have this with no extreme element.
Thomas: These guys had a decent amount of time to shine and while it wasn’t quite the match I was expecting, it was still a good one. It started off fairly slow and built up well. This was one of the few matches that had a lot of suspense for me as to who was going to win; it could have gone either way but I’m glad to see Punk walk away with the win and his hair. The Mystery Man angle was interesting; is it an ally of Punk’s, or just a new enemy for Rey Rey? Is Joey Mercury back? Who knows? The tainted finish means that they could continue this, or they could draft the Straight-Edge Society to Raw and give Punk a “promotion” to a show where his mic skills will have a chance to excel live? They had some fun spots here and while it wasn’t a barn-burning four-star affair, I still enjoyed it and thought that, with the disappointing exception of no Punk promo, it did what it needed to do.
Uphoff: FINALLY these two got the time they deserved. One thing I have against this was it really didn’t need the interference at the end, but I’m interested to see where it goes. The build to this match after WrestleMania wasn’t ideal, but it was solid. The match itself was everything their WrestleMania match should have been. It was even better, had some stuff we haven’t seen and some nice spots. These two have an amazing chemistry together. I liked the Asai Moonsault to the floor by Mysterio, and also the hurricanrana to the apron. What I loved from the match was the selling, and of course, the FUCKING GORY SPECIAL! How long has it been since we’ve seen that? Great effort by both men.
Small: One month later, we all received what we really wanted at WrestleMania – a longer match between Punk and Mysterio. But were those extra minutes really worth? I’d say yes even though I liked the frantic pace of their Mania match. This one had the luxury to build to a bunch of hot near falls and all of the interference helped keep Rey strong while allowing Punk to pick up the victory. Now who is the mystery bald man? Joey Mercury? Christopher Daniels? Hornswoggle?
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¼
Lansdell: ***½
Thomas: ***
Uphoff: ****¼
Small: ***¼
Average Match Rating: ***½

Strap Match
JTG vs. Shad Gaspard
Match Result: JTG defeats Shad Gaspard.
Match Length: 4:43
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I’m still surprised that JTG and Shad got to settle their differences on pay-per-view, but I applaud WWE for giving these guys a bit of exposure on a bigger stage. The match really wasn’t given enough time to fully develop, but JTG and Shad seemed to cram just about as much as possible into a five minute match. However, I am a bit perplexed by the finish. Shad was the one that turned heel and broke up Cryme Tyme, and I appeared as though Shad was the one that was destined for the bigger singles push. That would seem to indicate that Shad would have been the logical choice to pick up the win in this match, and yet it was his former partner that snuck out with the win. Shad can’t be happy about losing to JTG, and so my guess is that this feud will continue if both men are still on the same brand after the draft.
Lansdell: There is only one finish to a strap match like this, and we see it EVERY FUCKING TIME. The only surprise here was JTG going over, which NOBODY suggested, especially with Shad having that harbinger of a push, new entrance music. I thought this was decent until they went with the same tired finish they always do, and you can tell they’ve worked together before.
Thomas: To start with, I’m surprised by the finish. I thought that they were going to put Shad over since he’s gotten the focus in this feud thanks to his heel turn and what I consider to be a better look. The match didn’t click; sometimes you have tag team partners that work just as well when they’re opponents, and sometimes you have ones that just don’t fight against each other as they do alongside. I’m not completely ready to say that they’re not destined to fight well against each other, because Strap Matches are hard to carry off well and I don’t often find that gimmick match one that works. They went with an ending I’ve seen before, with JTG hitting the turnbuckles right behind Shad and then stopping him just before the final turnbuckle to hit it and get the win. I expect that these guys will continue to feud, as I don’t see either of them moving in the draft, and Shad will probably go over in the end.
Uphoff: I’ll tell you what, I had high hopes for this, but didn’t really expect much from this match. The build was decent, and this was the chance for both guys to shine, and I believe that they did. What I got was an entertaining midcard match. The two men worked the stipulation really well, and the strap shots by JTG were absolutely awesome. I even think Shad made a Freddy Krueger reference, though I could be wrong. It was nice and stiff, and both guys worked hard and put some emotion into it, which is always a good thing.
Small: Heatless match which is not surprising since it wasn’t even burning up the charts on Smackdown. I also question the decision of JTG beating Shad, then again, it really won’t mean anything in the long run.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *½
Lansdell: **¼
Thomas: *¾
Uphoff: **½
Small: *½
Average Match Rating: **

Extreme Rules Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Jack Swagger (Champion) vs. Randy Orton
Match Result: Jack Swagger defeats Randy Orton with the gutwrench powerbomb.
Match Length: 14:00
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I was definitely intrigued by this match, because I easily could have seen either Swagger or Orton picking up the win. Swagger certainly needed to win the match if he ever wanted to shake the moniker of “fluke champion,” but I also also wouldn’t have been surprised if Orton ended up carrying the belt into tomorrow night’s draft. Surprisingly, this match was actually the most “extreme” match on the card, and Orton’s trash can shots to Swagger were totally the most impressive use of plunder during the show. The fact that Swagger picked up the clean win would seem to indicate that WWE is ready to get behind him, and if I had to guess I would say that the news Smackdown roster is going to be build around Jack Swagger.
Lansdell: This wasn’t bad. Slow, but not bad. Despite the lack of blood, this match FELT like an Extreme Rules match, with headshots and everything. Some nice moves on the outside, a brutal finish on the inside…it all worked well. Of course there was very little chance of Orton going over, but even knowing that the match was fine. It would have been beyond fine with better pacing, though. Swagger needs an opponent like Morrison or Edge to work him a little faster in order to cement himself as champ.
Thomas: I had a feeling that Swagger was going over here, but I didn’t expect it to be as clean of a win as it was. That being said, I’m impressed because it gives Swagger a lot of credibility in beating Orton (relatively) cleanly. I thought that these guys worked well together; the match had its slow points but it was well-plotted out and gave both men a lot of time to shine. The Extreme Rules stipulation let them work the match to be better than it otherwise would have and the crowd popped nicely for Orton throughout. I think that Orton will probably stay on Raw for now (and fight for the title next month), and Swagger will stay on the Blue Brand so that he can take on Edge, Jericho and someone else at Fatal Four-Way.
Uphoff: This probably was one of the better built-up matches on the card. I was hoping that Swagger would win, because he really needed the win, and Orton could lose to a paper bag and still be crazy over. That being said, the beginning of the match was slow in parts, but began to pick up throughout. They worked the stipulation pretty nicely, and the trash can shots Orton gave to Swagger were VICIOUS. Those were some man-sized shots Swagger took and sold very well. The Northern Lights Suplex from Swagger on the floor was pretty sick as well. Orton brought his A-game, and the result was a perfectly enjoyable and great main event.
Small: Well color me surprised. I fully expected the WWE to strike when the iron’s hot and move the belt over to Orton but I guess they are fully behind Swagger. Which is fine as he showed here that he can hold together a 15 minute match. In fact, like Sheamus, he’s probably better off in a longer match as he has a moveset that works and a good sense of psychology. In addition, I was pretty shocked that he got a clean win over Orton which will do wonders if the WWE decides to keep up a winning streak. Good match.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¼
Lansdell: **¾
Thomas: ***¼
Uphoff: ***½
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: ***¼

Street Fight
Triple H vs. Sheamus
Match Result: Sheamus defeats Triple H with the bicycle kick.
Match Length: 15:50
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Given the damage that Sheamus inflicted on Triple H at the beginning of the show, Sheamus absolutely needed to win this match in order to avoid looking completely impotent and weak. Sheamus did win the match, but I would have liked to see him look even more dominant. This is one occasion when a squash match on pay-per-view might have been the right decision, but I give Triple H and Sheamus credit for wanting to put on a real match. Triple H did a great job of selling the arm injury / nerve damage for most of the match (cane shots notwithstanding), and in the end Sheamus did look like a beat and pick up the win. Defeating Triple H like this definitely lends Sheamus quite a bit of credibility, and he’s now poised to be a solid upper mid-card star wherever he lands after the draft.
Lansdell: Remember all those reports about HHH loving Sheamus and hand-picking him to be at the top of the Raw roster? I call bullshit. If you think that much of someone, why do they need to give you “nerve” damage in a pre-match attack, suffer through flurry after flurry of your devastating one-armed onslaught, and only beat you after FOUR of their sub-finishers? A move which, I might add, has laid out even John Cena on 2 occasions? I’m not the guy who constantly rags on HHH for refusing to put people over or any of that jazz, but this SUCKED. Even the periods of action were dull and uninspiring, and the match went on and on and on. Kind of like a Slimmer column…you keep hoping its over, but then something happens to extend it for 5 more minutes. The problem here is that you’ve had the gimmick match, but you need to blow off the feud next month. Where else can you go? WWE really needs to examine the placing of this PPV right after Mania, it should be 3-4 months later. Night of Champions or Fatal Four-Way works much better here.
Thomas: To start with, the attack backstage certainly made this seem like it would be a dismantling of ‘H by Sheamus. I mean, we all knew that the Game would come out for his match and be the brave, hard-headed face who refuses to say die, but I imagined that he wouldn’t put up as much of a fight as he did. However, I don’t think this made Sheamus look weak. Sure, he had problems putting ‘H away and the Game kept fighting back again and again, but people will remember this mostly for Sheamus brutalizing the Game at the end, and the competitive nature of the match means that the in-ring work didn’t suffer. This did put Sheamus over (though I’m sure there will be bitching that Hunter had to be Superman), and he walks away having won the feud and becoming the Big Dog on Raw…for now.
Uphoff: The buildup for this one was good at times, and then other times not so much. I expected more from their WrestleMania match, and I got it in this one. It was a decent Street Fight that started out slow, but really picked up quick. The shots that Triple H gave Sheamus from the kendo stick were SICK. I give Sheamus props for taking those. Triple H wanted to put over Sheamus, and he did so in spades in this match. It was a good Street Fight made better by one thing: Triple H’s selling. Nothing frustrates me more about HHH than his ability to sell whenever he chooses. He sold like a champ, and the two failed Pedigree attempts were great continuations on his “injury.” He sold even after the match. I loved that Sheamus won with the four Pump Kicks. It made sense in the context of the match. This was a great match in my book because of HHH’s selling.
Small: Nice win for the Celtic Warrior. Sure Triple H was made to look like a hero by having the first ninety minutes of the PPV dedicated to his progress, but kudos to him for putting Sheamus over strong. As I mentioned in the last match, Sheamus does better in longer matches so it’s a good thing this one went 15 minutes. The strong intensity from the opening minutes of the match did wane through Sheamus’s extreme chinlock but picked up well with the kendo stick attack towards the end of the match. 4 Pump kicks later and Sheamus got the win he needed.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***
Lansdell: **
Thomas: ***¼
Uphoff: ***½
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: ***

Extreme Makeover Match for the WWE Women’s Championship
Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool w/ Layla and Vickie Guerrero
Match Result: Beth Phoenix defeats Michelle McCool with the Glam Slam.
Match Length: 6:32
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Beth Phoenix and Michelle McCool did the best they could to turn an inane gimmick into a decent match, but unfortunately there’s only so much you can do when you need to find a way to work ironing boards and eye shadow into the match. The most unfortunate aspect of this match is that Phoenix vs. McCool is probably the best match-up left in the WWE Women’s Division, and yet their pay-per-view confrontation was wasted on throw-away gimmick match. However, with that being said, the silver lining here is that Beth Phoenix did walk away with the WWE Women’s Championship, and maybe a new champion will breathe new life into the stagnant Women’s Division.
Lansdell: This actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Beth can wrestler, and so can Michelle in the right circumstances. Although the match felt a little awkward in places, I’ve seen far worse from the ladies in WWE. Beth winning will freshen the scene somewhat and will give us some new match-ups. I liked the ironing board spots, mostly, and if you ignore WHAT it was and just think of it as a weapon they really weren’t that bad. The makeup played no part and that’s hardly the first time hairspray has been used.
Thomas: Yeah, this sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that Beth went over and the two ladies worked hard, but the gimmick match was silly and actually got in the way of the two wrestlers. There were a couple halfway decent spots but I don’t think Beth and Michelle work together nearly as well as they do with other Divas. Michelle needs someone smaller than her, and Beth just can’t seem to click with her. All I could think of while I was watching this was Jarrett vs. Chyna, and that’s my fault as opposed to the match probably, but it did hurt my opinion of the match.
Uphoff: I absolutely LOVED the burn that Cole laid on Striker right before the match started. I really didn’t know what to say about the stipulation. I had no idea what it meant. The build to this match was good, stellar for a women’s title match. The two ladies worked well together and provided a match that featured some nice spots, and was a lot of harmless fun. It was nice seeing Vickie, Layla, and McCool get their comeuppance.
Small: Unlike many, I am a Michelle McCool mark so I never mind watching her compete. Throw in a game Beth Phoenix and this had the chance to be pretty darn good. Sure the extreme gimmick was silly but the match was much better than it had to be. In fact, it probably was the best Diva’s match of the year, which sadly isn’t saying much.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *
Lansdell: *¾
Thomas: *
Uphoff: **½
Small: *½
Average Match Rating: *½

Steel Cage Match
Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Match Result: Edge defeats Chris Jericho with the Spear.
Match Length: 19:58
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: This match absolutely confounds me. Edge and Chris Jericho are both incredibly talented professional wrestlers. They’ve had great matches with each other in the past, and they’ve each had great cage matches with other competitors in the past. And yet tonight, for whatever reason, this cage match was sluggish and borderline boring. It was like an eight minute match that took twenty minutes. I applaud Edge and Jericho for using psychology and trying to incorporate the entire storyline of their feud into this match, but at some point you do actually have to have real action in a wrestling match. This match was a good idea gone wrong and a perfect example of how WWE’s recent emphasis on storytelling over action can actually greatly hinder what easily could have been an outstanding match.
Lansdell: Of all the people in WWE, I would never have expected Edge and Jericho to have a slow and plodding cage match. I’m not one of those people that thinks a cage match HAS to have blood to be any good, but one thing this did need was more actual wrestling. There were long periods of just…nothing…in this match, and while the psychology was excellent from both men it needed to be done faster. Almost feels like a theme for this show. I loved the springboard Codebreaker, but for that not to finish and the spear being the actual finish is a bit backwards for me. This feud would seem to be over, so I’d like to see Edge move on to Swagger now. Of course it’s hard to predict anything after tomorrow night. This wasn’t a bad match, really, but I wanted this to deliver and the show NEEDED this to deliver…and it didn’t.
Thomas: This had all the ingredients to be a good match, and it wasn’t a flat-out bad one. However, for the second month in a row I thought these two disappointed. I’ll give them credit for telling a good story and having some good psychology to it, but it seemed just too damned slow. I also didn’t like them doing the thing where Jericho almost left, then turned around and walked back in. Not only does it make Jericho look stupid, it telegraphed the ending because if edge lost at that point, he was completely Jericho’s bitch. That being said, there were some moves I really enjoyed. The first one that comes to mind was the springboard Codebreaker. Edge and Jericho both sold the intensity in their expressions and mannerisms, but the match seemed to drag on too long and it could have been better if it had been shorter, so it would have been better paced.
Uphoff: Their WrestleMania match was really good, and I figured that this match would be just as good. The build to this match was kinda so-so right after WrestleMania, but the last few weeks were great. I have to say, it kinda started slow, and I really didn’t need to see Jericho’s ass, but other than that, this was great. They pulled out the usual stuff for a cage match, and their usual stuff between the two, and made some new and innovative stuff. The Springboard Codebreaker was NUTS. When Edge turned all crazy with the door, it kicked into another gear. Great match between these two. I wonder where Jericho goes after this, or if they continue the feud.
Small: If I was from the future and I told you that Edge and Jericho fought a 20 minute steel cage match with escape attempts, a springboard Codebreaker, and Jericho getting his comeuppance, you’d probably think it was at the very least the match of the night. But sadly, that description on paper is much better than what we actually got to see. While there were many good parts to this match, it unfortunately suffered from a bad pacing, a drawn out ending, and little heat. The lack of heat wasn’t too surprising since the Mania match also suffered from it and Edge really isn’t a good face. The pacing suffered from a lack of action between the climbing spots, which was nothing you haven’t seen before. And by the time the ending came, the majority of us were wanting the match to end and did not really care for Edge’s sadistic attack on the leg. A disappointing match considering who was involved.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **¾
Lansdell: ***
Thomas: **¾
Uphoff: ****¼
Small: **¾
Average Match Rating: ***

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena (Champion) vs. Batista
Match Result: John Cena defeats Batista… by duct taping his feet together. Seriously.
Match Length: 24:34
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: This match was a complete rollercoaster ride, and I don’t necessarily mean that as a good thing. The match started a bit slow, and it definitely seemed to be dragging in the middle. However, I suppose some of that can be attributed to residual boredom and / or sluggishness from the cage match. I really was beginning to worry about this match, but then Cena and Batista did an admirable job of really turning things around. All three table spots were impressive, and watching Cena destroy that barrier was spectacular. My opinion of this match had done a complete 180… and then came the finish. Holy crap. Duct tape? Seriously? Duct tape? That’s the new definition of extreme in WWE? You can make all the arguments you want about Cena being resourceful or about how he was simply out-thinking Batista, but that’s all bullshit. When you book a Last Man Standing Match on an Extreme Rules pay-per-view, then you damn well better book a brutal, devastating finish. Hell, the Attitude Adjustment through the announce table would have worked just fine. The bottom line is that this was a good match that was spoiled by an ill-conceived finish. Cena has now defeated Batista at two consecutive pay-per-views, so I have to assume that it’s time for him to move on to a new challenger. Luckily, with the draft only 24 hours away, Cena should have no shortage of new challengers to keep him busy for the foreseeable future.
Lansdell: Cena does good work in gimmick matches. He’s willing to do stuff that most main eventers won’t, he has an offense that lends itself to innovative spots (STFU with the ring ropes, Attitude Adjustment off everything…) and he just brings it every night. Love him or hate him he works his ass off every night, house show or PPV. Batista played his part in what might end up as his swan song with the company, especially when he went to work on the legs of Cena, even locking in the figure four at one point. That’s the sort of psychology this match needed, and it was great. These two put on a very good match, right up until John Cena started channeling Red Green. Duct tape? REALLY? Ignoring the fact that he ripped it 2 or 3 times, which would have made it easy for Batista to escape, is this REALLY how you want to end your “Extreme” PPV? With fucking DUCT TAPE? C’mon man!
Thomas: I really liked this for 99% of it. Cena and Big Dave always bring the goods. This was no exception for the most part as they worked very well together and for a match that has to stop multiple times for a ten-count, they made it well-paced also. It picked up very nicely at the end and both of these guys busted their asses to make it work. I loved Batista chucking the monitor at Cole and pretty much losing it, and the Attitude Adjustment on the table was bad-ass. But yeah, I hated the ending too. It’s ironic that Lansdell chose Looney Tunes as the guest hosts for the recap, because this finish was straight out of the Bugs Bunny playbook. Hell, in Fact or Fiction this week, Erik Luers called this one in advance. he gets MEGA-kudos for that. I thought this was a very silly finish to an otherwise great match, and it sucked the enjoyment out of what had come before.
Uphoff: This match was everything a WWE Championship main event match should be. For two years now, John Cena has delivered two straight epic Last Man Standing matches at the PPV following WrestleMania. The build for this match was probably the best build for any of the matches. I had great hopes for this match as I was kinda disappointed with their WrestleMania match. It was great, but not as great as it could have been. I think the Last Man Standing stipulation really helped provide these two with an environment where they could really flourish and put on a stellar match. I loved the figure-four from Batista, and Cena sold the leg for a while, but then stopped. That gets me every time. They pulled out all the stops for this match, and came up with some great spots. The Attitude Adjustment on a chair, and then another through the announce table were great, as was the spinebuster through a table. After Cena got up at 9 after the Batista Bomb and Dave at 9 from the STF, I truly did not know who would win. That is what a main event match, especially a Last Man Standing match should do. I loved the ending, as it was Cena’s smarts that got the best of Batista. Duct tape fixes everything. RED GREEN FTW!
Small: Now I know the WWE must be pissed off that Batista pretty much took his ball home over the last few weeks. However, if the duct tape ending was created to embarrass him, I think it did much more damage to the entire company. A perfectly fine Last Man Standing match which picked up considerably from its slow opening ending not with carnage but with a comedy spot. Granted, it was clever; however, I don’t want to see clever, I want to see the conclusion of two men who hate each other with some plunder and a memorable spot (like last year’s LMS match). Not a good final image for the show.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¼
Lansdell: ***¼
Thomas: ***¼
Uphoff: ****¾
Small: ***¼ stars (would have hit ***½ with a logical conclusion)
Average Match Rating: ***½

Final Thoughts

Match of the Night:
Slimmer: Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk (***¼)
Mysterio and Punk stole the show tonight, and the ironic part is that I still don’t think we’ve seen them come close to what they could actually do together it the ring. I’m really hoping that this feud continues for another month, because I have a sneaking suspicion that these two guys could put on a MOTY contender if given the chance.
Lansdell: Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk (***½)
Only match that delivered as it should have and as it was expected to.
Thomas: Triple H vs. Sheamus (***¼)
Yes, the Game was Superman, but otherwise I thought it made for a good story and Sheamus came out looking bad-ass.
Uphoff: John Cena vs. Batista (****¾)
See above.
Small: Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk (***¼)
The main event probably was better but I chose Punk/Mysterio since it had a better ending. I hope this feud has a proper blow-off next month at Over the Limit.

Trash of the Night:
Slimmer: Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix (*)
This may not have been the most disappointing match of the night, but it was certainly the worst match of the night. This was the one match-up that could have really been used to begin to rebuild the faltering Women’s Division, and yet instead it actually managed to make the situation even worse.
Lansdell: Edge vs. Chris Jericho (***)
Should have been far, FAR better than it was.
Thomas: Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix (*)
I immediately thought of the crappy reality show when I heard that title. This didn’t even meet THOSE expectations, despite how hard Beth and Michelle worked.
Uphoff: NADA
Small: The Gauntlet Match (*)
Seeing as how the PPV ended right at 11PM, this opening segment was truly unnecessary and did no favors for the eight men involved.

Final Analysis:
Slimmer: This show had five matches that floated somewhere between “okay” and “decent”, only one of which really even flirted with being memorable. But the real problem here wasn’t that the matches were all middling or even that this was a fairly uneventful, unmemorable show. The real problem here is that WWE booked an entire gimmick pay-per-view and then almost completely refused to play into that gimmick. There was hardly anything even remotely “extreme” about this show. In fact, many of the past non-gimmick pay-per-views contained far more extreme moments than we saw tonight. It seems so strange that Extreme Rules was born five years ago with a show that saw Tommy Dreamer go through a flaming table and Mike Awesome once again earn the respect of the fans that had abandoned him years earlier. This was a watered-down, bland version of the concept that was born when ECW returned, and it was definitely one of the weakest offerings in WWE’s new gimmick pay-per-view paradigm.
Lansdell: We should have known. We really should. “Extreme” Rules plus new kid-friendly approach = disaster in waiting. I don’t care what rating WWE slaps on its product, but you have to book accordingly. How can you have a PPV of extreme matches when you don’t want anyone being extreme? It’s just a stupid idea.
Thomas: Sometimes, a show is more than the sum of its parts; sometimes it’s less than them. This one was exactly the sum of its parts…and perhaps that’s the problem. The flow to the show didn’t make a lot of sense; sure, you had a nice set of okay/good/bad/good/good/bad/good, but a lot of the good was disappointing in parts and ultimately, this was just a collection of matches, not a full-on Pay-Per-View. It was ultimately a disappointment, and that’s saying a lot because I wasn’t expecting much.
Uphoff: This was an epic PPV, the best PPV that WWE has put on in a long time. There was no bad stuff on this PPV. Everything had redeemable qualities, and everything entertained me. THIS IS HOW YOU PUT ON A PPV, TNA.
Small: Well over the past few weeks, all we kept hearing about was how the Draft was going to shake things up. So at best Extreme Rules was going to be a filler PPV. However, on paper, it could have been a memorable filler show. But sadly, a lot of good work will go unnoticed due to a lack of a “must-see” match, very little in the sense of storyline advancements, and a couple of truly bizarre moments (duct tape). It’s a shame that the biggest positives of the show (Sheamus and Swagger’s wins) were forgotten by the time the show ended.