News From Cook’s Corner 06.02.10: The Hot 100!

Today, I am proud to present the first ever News From Cook’s Corner Hot 100!

Before we begin, a few points I’d like to make.

-I probably should have made this a Hot 75, or maybe a Hot 50, to make it more of an honor and a tougher cut line. There aren’t as many women in the world of wrestling as I originally thought. When you get down to the indies, it’s really tough to tell who’s active and who isn’t because nobody ever updates their website. I considered cutting back, but I thought that wouldn’t be fair to the reader…and I’d pretty much be doing what Small did a few years ago when he cut the IWC 100 down to the IWC 15. So, I went with 100…for better or worse. Maybe next time I won’t, as I feel a lower number would make for a tighter list and force me to make things more “accurate”.

-The list has constantly changing since I started. Honestly, the last 40 or so spots could be flip-flopped and I’d still be sitting here and debating it with myself. The first half of the list could easily be re-arranged tomorrow if I thought about it. It isn’t a perfect list, but that just makes it more ripe for discussion. That’s what we’re all about here at the four eleven. Well, that and booze.

The Hot 100 Alcoholic Beverage list will be coming…no, scratch that. I’d be too busy sampling to ever actually compile a list.

-The list is partially based on appearance, partially based on things the women have accomplished in the last year or so, and partially based on the Bud Light Lime I was drinking while compiling it.

-I tried to focus the list on women who compete in actual wrestling promotions. There are a lot of…interesting websites out there featuring women wrestling and selling very expensive DVDs. I assume they’re making good money off of this. I’m not making the kind of money where I can justify those types of purchases…so it’s easier for me to judge people I can actually see wrestle.

-I’ve included some writing by each of the names, but I expect none of you to actually read it.

-We’re starting at #1 and working our way down to #100. This is partially because by the time I thought it might work better to go from 100 to 1 it was too late, and partially because there’s less drama at the very top of the list.

-I’ve tried to make this feature as safe for work as I possibly could, but if you have a slow computer that takes awhile to load stuff, or if your workplace is really, really strict about what you’re looking at, I highly recommend you wait until you get home to read this. You have been warned.

-The Undertaker will be out all summer with a broken orbital bone. This is the most interesting news of the week. Second place is either Hulk Hogan getting back surgery or Eric Bischoff trying to make people think he’s leaving TNA. Weeeee?

-The NXT finale had some interesting things. I’m looking forward to Team Laycool mentoring the Wrestler Formerly Known as Low Ki. Next week I’ll give my thoughts on that and the “interesting” names given the new NXT rookies after watching the first episode.

With all of that being said…let’s get it started!

1. Maryse: Yeah, this was a foregone conclusion. Any other choice at number one would just be an attempt to swerve the masses.

2. Velvet Sky: She didn’t invent getting into the ring, but she’s certainly perfected it.

3. Lacey Von Erich: Say what you will about Lacey’s in-ring skills or demeanor backstage…the girl’s hot. She also likes to make out with midgets, so maybe there’s a chance for us.

4. Eve: She would be #1 on most smart mark lists because she trains in ju-jitsu. WWE recently realized she was on the roster and started pushing her, so that’s a good thing.

5. Rain: The former Peyton Banks is on Wrestlicious as Felony, and has also been appearing in AAA on a regular basis recently. Lots of Rain on TV these days, which I approve of.

6. Maria Kanellis: Maria was fired from WWE because they figured she’d get all sorts of offers after Celebrity Apprentice. Hopefully something comes along soon, even though I do enjoy her on HDNet Fights.

7. Miss Tessmacher : It takes a lot for me to sit through an Eric Bischoff segment in 2010. Tessie here is just enough for me to justify it.

8. Cheerleader Melissa : I’ve always had a thing for cheerleaders. Girls in burkas, not so much. So I’m glad Melissa has shed that ridiculous gimmick and is back kicking ass in the indies.

9. Michelle McCool: The Internet’s darling gets into my top 10. What can I say, I’ve been a fan ever since that Diva Search she should have won.

10. Sexy Star: The Reina de Reinas of AAA might have an unfair advantage with the mask…many luchadoras look better with one on. I did see an unmasked pic once and she didn’t look too bad, so I’ll allow it.

11. Rayna Von Tash: I get the argument that Old ROH is a lot better than HDNet ROH, but Old ROH didn’t have Rayna hanging around ringside. I hear she trains at their wrestling school, which is almost enough to get me to register.

12. Christy Hemme: TNA pays Christy a lot of money to hold a microphone. I choose not to hold that against her…unless she’d like me to.

13. So Cal Val: Every promotion should have a redhead sitting at ringside. This is TNA’s…I’m not sure why WWE’s been so slow on this.

14. Madison Rayne: Probably the most improved lady wrestler I’ve seen over the past year or so, Madison’s got more upside than most people on this list. Gotta like a girl with good upside.

15. Trish Stratus: She wrestled one match in the past calendar year, which was a good enough reason for me to put her on the list. We can hope, damn it!

16. Katie Lea: Hopefully Katie pops up somewhere after the 90 day non-compete clause. I’d say I miss her, but I got used to her not being around much during her stint in WWE.

17. Brie Bella: Let’s face it, it’s pretty tough to decide between the Bellas. How did I do it? Well…

18. Nikki Bella: Nikki comes in behind her sister for one simple reason…Kentucky jerseys are never, ever acceptable choices of attire. Hopefully she’ll learn from this fashion faux pas.

19. Sara Del Rey: DEATH REY is destroying everything in her path in 2010, but what else is new? ROH’s refusal to book her in Dayton irritates me.

20. Gail Kim: Gail’s been under the radar lately, but with WWE wrestlers getting injured like they do, she’ll get her chance to shine sooner or later.

21. MsChif: The former SHIMMER champion showcases her flexibility in this match. Love the flexibility, and her aptitude in that area never ceases to impress me. She’s a lab technician when she isn’t pwning foos, so there’s brains there too.

22. Daffney: The return of the Scream Queen to national television has been greatly appreciated. Hopefully this talk about contract stuff is merely talk and we get more fun with Daffney in TNA.

23. Kelly Kelly: KK’s got a certain charisma about her that makes the people just love her. Mostly, I chalk it up to her being hot. But I’ve been wrong about these things before.

24. Taylor Wilde: TNA’s best-kept secret. I’m not sure they know she’s on the roster.

25. Traci Brooks: Last I heard, the lovely Ms. Brooks was trying to figure out what she wants to do when she grows up. Unfortunately that means I don’t expect to see her on TV anytime soon.

26. Lacey: Jimmy Jacobs & Austin Aries both exhibited…odd tendencies after ending on-screen relationships with Lacey in ROH. I’d be willing to find out if that was just coincidence. She’s mainly in SHIMMER & Wrestlicious these days.

27. Layla: I read on a message board the other day that Matt Hardy got fresh with Layla and she responded by choking him. I have no idea if this is true or not, but if it is she’d go up a few places on the list.

28. Neveah: I always thought the Irish Airborne were good for nothing, but at least they brought this girl into the business. I was hoping TNA would bring her in to reprise her SHIMMER tag team with Madison Rayne, but no such luck yet.

29. Becky Bayless: The original ECW still has an impact on wrestling. Becky was a young fan of the group and decided to follow in their footsteps by entering the wrestling business. According to Raven, that didn’t happen until she was legal.

30. Angelina Love: Angelina has this thing going where I find her hot one week, and not so hot the next. Hopefully when she comes back it’ll be a good week.

31. Annie Social: I haven’t seen most of Ms. Social’s work in SHIMMER, WSU & other promotions, but I have the feeling that I’d like to see more.

32. Amber O’Neal: The Southern indy veteran is one girl that’s never been in the right place at the right time to make the big money. She currently gets Wrestlicious.

33. Lorelei Lee: Known as Tyler Texas to Wrestlicious fans, Lorelei hits that cowgirl demographic that we all love.

34. Jessie McKay: This lovely Aussie calls SHIMMER her American home and refers to herself as “Everybody’s Favorite Girlfriend”. I’m not one to argue.

35. Mickie James: A controversial figure on the Intraweb, I’m thinking it won’t be long until TNA opens their checkbook for her. If nothing else, she can know that Chris Lansdell loves her music.

36. Krissy Vaine: Manu Bumb tells me they’re close personal friends…which is the closest he’s gotten to a woman since the Eisenhower Administration.

37. Sarita: My comments for Taylor Wilde also apply for Sarita. At least Sarita has her Mexican work to fall back on.

38. Jennifer Blake: “Girl Dynamite” has been making an impact alongside Rain in AAA lately, and spends time in SHIMMER & Canadian promotions as well.

39. Maria Meneunos: I’ve had a crush on Maria since her Channel One days, so I was quite excited to see her in the ring last year. Here’s hoping for a return when she doesn’t get hurt while training.

40. Tiffany: The former General Manager of ECW got a second chance on Smackdown. Fine with me…they brought in Heyman and he was not an attractive man.

41. Beth Phoenix: The Glamazon is the best Diva wrestler by a mile, but that doesn’t help when she’s on the shelf. I’m looking forward to seeing her in that Santino sitcom.

42. Jillian: I think Ms. Hall’s had less victories in the past 12 months than the Louisville football team. At least she has her singing career to fall back on…right?

43. Chelsea: The poor girl just wanted to be a valet, then she got stuck wheeling Ric Flair around and is now stuck with Abyss for 30 days. I’m not sure which is worse, to be honest.

44. Fabi Apache: The top luchadora babyface of AAA always brings delight to the fans. Her ring gear is the opposite of WWE Diva ring gear, in that it tries to make the person wearing it less attractive. It’s an interesting way to go.

45. Nicole Matthews: One-half of the Canadian Ninjas, Matthews co-holds the SHIMMER tag team titles and seems to work all over the place.

46. Cat Power: From Ontario, Cat competes in SHIMMER and various Canadian promotions.

47. Allison Wonderland: I haven’t seen Allison since she left ROH, but hopefully this Minnesotan is making an impact in the business somewhere.

48. Malibu McKenzie: Formerly known as Lana Star in WOW, Malibu has made her way to Wrestlicious. What did she do between then? Who knows, but at least she’s back.

49. Tara/Victoria: I think we can assume she’ll be back eventually. Would have ranked higher several years ago, but a combination of doing nothing in WWE and then doing not much in TNA besides complaining droped her down the list a bit. Such is life.

50. Shelly Martinez: Shelly wants to be in wrestling. I want her to be on my list. One of these things is a lot easier to do than the other.

51. Daizee Haze: Daizee reminds me of girls I actually come across in real life. Many are skinny, many have to be on some kind of mind altering drugs, but they’re mostly good peeps.

52. Lauren Brooke: The former TNA interviewer earns a spot on the list because…well, why not? My dad would like her even more than I because she’s on the Golf Channel.

53. Melina: She’s always just kinda been there to me, but you gotta appreciate a woman that can do the splits on a ring apron. I wonder if she’s met Bret yet.

54. Lilian Garcia: I can’t wait until the next time we get to see her horse around. Kidding, Mick! Seriously though, Lilian’s good people and it was nice to see her on Raw all these years.

55. Alicia Fox: Ashton Kutcher’s secret weapon against Zack Ryder! Yee haw.

56. Courtney Taylor: Courtney went from Hooter Girl (which ensured her spot on this list anyway) to ECW interviewer. Unfortunately she decided to take a vacation just when she got called back up, and was sent back to FCW, where she was released last month. Judging by the pics I’ve seen, this is quite a shame.

57. Jemma Palmer: Jemma was on the British version of Gladiators and is scheduled to make her way to FCW sometime this year. Apparently there’s a hang-up with visa issues or something…I’m sure Florida can’t wait to see her.

58. Rosa Mendes: I kinda liked her better in OVW as Roucka, but Rosa ain’t too bad.

59. Kristal Marshall: The ex-wife of Bobby Lashley might not be heading back to wrestling anytime soon, but she did cut a pretty good promo.

60. Amy Love: This Texan goes by the nicknames “The Supermodel” & “Hot Ass”. You can guess which one is from WEW.

61. Kandi Kisses: Personally, I preferred her in WSX as Lizzy Valentine. Either way, she gets it done with the singing and what not.

62. Tenille: This young Australian lass has been making her way through SHIMMER & ECCW and from all accounts has a bright future ahead of her.

63. Hannah Blossom
64. Holly Blossom: I’m partial to twins, what can I say? These two crumpets have been in the OVW for awhile now, but since I don’t get the show in Cincy anymore I don’t know enough to tell them apart.

65. Aksana: A Ukrainian fitness model developing in FCW, Aksana has the look to be a wrestler. Whether she has the skills or not…time will tell.

66. Natalya: The daughter of Jim Neidhardt didn’t have much to work with in the gene pool as far as looks go, but she’s done well enough. Actually, most of the Hart women were quite attractive when they were younger, especially Helen. I think that was the most surprising aspect of WWE’s Hart & Soul DVD set.

67. Roxxi: A very talented girl who hasn’t had the best of luck in her various TNA stints so far. Here’s hoping this one sticks.

68. Savannah: NXT’s ring announcer hasn’t made me forget about Lilian yet, but maybe she will with time.

69. Christie Ricci: As Glory, Ricci is currently your Wrestlicious Champion. Don’t ask me why she’s not listed on their roster.

70. Tracy Taylor: A former WWE developmental diva, you can find Tracy these days in the Southern indies.

71. Jamie Keyes: An FCW Diva at the moment, Keyes was discovered when somebody in the WWE front office looked at her Wrestlicious photos. Can’t say I blame them for seeing some potential here.

72. Serena: She would be a lot higher on this list if she wasn’t bald. Bald doesn’t do it for me, so I dug up a pic from her Wrestlicious days to prove that she can be hot.

73. Leva: Leva claims to hail from Gotham City and was trained by Team 3D. I’d approve of them using their pull in TNA to get her a contract. She’s a big fan of wrestling in superhero costumes.

74. Boot Camp Bailey: I have no idea who this Wrestlicious female is, but I like what I see.

75. Brittney Savage: This New Yorker works all over the Northeast and made an appearance on Smackdown, jobbing to Beth Phoenix. It’s too early to tell if that will be her last appearance or not.

76. Cherry Bomb: Cherry was recently on Raw as Goldust’s blind date. Until she returns to the big stage you can catch her in SHIMMER and other assorted indies.

77. Sassy Stephie: Stephie hails from Ohio, which somehow has produced several people on this list. She competed for ROH, CHIKARA, JAPW & SHIMMER last year, impressive since she hasn’t been in the sport long.

78. April Hunter: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a picture of this chick I can use on this website? April’s still bouncing around the Northeast indy scene after all these years.

79. Sojourner Bolt: If you take a look at Josie from five years or so ago, and Sojourner Bolt during her TNA stint, it’s almost like looking at two different people. She did a lot of time in the gym to get into Knockout shape.

80. Alexa Thatcher: Alexa recently returned to wrestling in the Northeast after some time off. This is a positive development for the Northeast women’s indy scene.

81. Erica D’Erico: This Arizonan has spent time in SHIMMER & Wrestlicious since training in Chicago.

82. Tammy Sytch: One of my first crushes is guaranteed to make this list, she still hangs around the convention circuit when she isn’t busy stirring the pot on Facebook.

83. Queen Sharmell: Mrs. T was a welcome addition to Booker’s act over the past few years, and showed some charisma that most didn’t know she had back in the WCW days.

84. Malia Hosaka: Malia was the Rookie of the Year back in 1987, so you gotta give her credit for holding up better than most people who have been in wrestling that long.

85. Hamada: Still in TNA…I think.

86. Kellie Skater: Another Aussie chick making it in the SHIMMER…is there a pipeline there or something? Not that I’m complaining.

87. Wesna Busic: This Croatian is tearing up the SHIMMER roster and can have any spot on the list she wants. I’m not messing with her.

88. Allison Danger: One of the minds behind SHIMMER, Danger wrestles there when not having children with one of CHIKARA’s most evil men. Gotta watch out for that kid.

89. Amanda Ruffin: Local girl from the NWF. Gotta show my peeps some love!

90. Candice LeRae: A product of Canada, Candice decided that Southern California was better and has spent most of her time over the past few years in PWG. She wrestles men fairly often because she‘s tough like that.

91. Jetta: Part of the International Home Wrecking Crew, this English girl can be found in SHIMMER and all through that country across the pond.

92. Alicia: A staple of the Northeast indy scene, Alicia retired for awhile but then came back. Just when she thought she was out, they pulled her back in.

93. Danyah: Another product of Toronto in pro wrestling, Danyah wrestles mostly in SHIMMER & Canadian promotions.

94. Melanie Cruise: Melanie spends most of her time in SHIMMER & POWW, and finishes people with an Olympic Slam.

95. Portia Perez: One-half of the Canadian Ninjas, Perez is most known to me as Ryan Byers’ favorite wrestler. She must be since he used her as his avatar at the old 411 Fan Forum.

96. Rachel Summerlyn: Rachel is one tough broad who doesn’t mind kicking ass and getting beat up in SHIMMER and various Texas wrestling promotions.

97. AJ Lee: AJ is the Queen of FCW, so one would think she might get a call-up soon.

98. Madison Eagles: Your new SHIMMER champion hails from Australia and is known for beating people up.

99. Sin D: Another local peep. This one’s been around for as long as I’ve heard of the NWF, and still kicks some tail when necessary. In the NWF, that’s pretty often.

100. Tamina: The daughter of Jimmy Snuka made it to WWE quicker than a lot of people figured…but with the endorsements she has that isn’t surprising.

That’s the list! You may debate in the comment section, send me an e-mail at [email protected] screaming about people I left off, or both. The honorable JP Prag will be in tomorrow, and I’ll be back next week with News From Cook’s Corner! Until then…