wrestling / Columns

The Wrestling 5 & 1 06.12.10: Double the Pleasure, Double the &1!

June 12, 2010 | Posted by Ryan Merholz

BEFORE WE BEGIN…
Hello everyone and welcome to the Wrestling 5 & 1!!!

I am your host, Ryan Merholz and if you think I’m as swell as I do, you should follow me on Twitter!

www.twitter.com/411RyanMerholz

Learn cool things about me maybe, and at the very least, stock up on real life wrestlers to follow yourself!

Probably follow the rest of the fine 411 Twitter feeds as well…

http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma

Alright, let’s get this show on the road!

VS.

Last week’s contest was Melina vs. Layla. When all the votes were tallied, Layla just squeezed out the win by a final count of 69 – 64!

Thanks to everybody who voted!

This week features a battle of blonde bombshells, one likes kissing midgets, and the other likes kissing douchebags:

Lacey Von Erich VS. Tiffany

VOTE IN YOUR COMMENT!

I’m sure that it’s dawned on everyone already that there are only so many wrestling ladies I can realistically use in the column before I have to start repeating. That said, I’ve begun to plan for the eventual running dry of the well.

In a few weeks time, keep your eyes peeled for the star-studded debut of The 5&1 VS. Tournament of Hawtness!

5 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT…REY MYSTERIO

With the Undertaker unexpectedly sidelined, the biggest little man in sport entertainment has stepped up to challenge once again for the World Heavyweight Championship at Fatal 4 Way. Here’s some stuff about Rey Mysterio:

1. The name “Rey Mysterio” translates to “King of Mystery” in Spanish.

2. Rey graduated from high school with P.O.D. members Sonny and Wuv, who play his entrance theme “Booyaka 619”.

3. Despite his affiliation with WWE, his name was mentioned in the entrance music of TNA tag-team LAX.

4. He has been betrayed by a total of three members of the Guerrero family.

5. His sole victory in the Royal Rumble earned him a number of distinctions:

Longest Time Spent in the Rumble.
Shortest Person to win the Rumble.
Lightest Person to win the Rumble.
First Masked Man to win the Rumble.
First Man of Mexican Descent to win the Rumble.

Also the bro looks like this. Take that Jericho and Punk!

WRESTLING TWITTER A-GO-GO

I had to post this just because it’s hilarious. Dixie Carter has announced yet ANOTHER surprise that will CHANGE TNA FOREVER:

“It’s 6:30 am. Been up for hours. So excited I can’t sleep. TNA’s about to change forever. Can’t wait to share it w/you, my staff, the talent

I wonder if anyone has told Dixie that if every single thing that happens in TNA is the biggest thing ever, then it kinda cheapens all of them collectively?

VIDEO A-GO-GO

RAW this past Monday was a pretty awful 3-hour pile of dookie, but the brightly shining beacon of line emerging from the crap was the close of the show which featured one of the coolest angles I’ve seen in quite some time:

And how ‘bout that epic soundtrack?

This is the first time I can remember in years when I found myself immediately wanting to know what was going to happen next week on RAW. Hopefully they don’t fuck this up.

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Alright kids, tuck in with a snack because it’s time now for the legit Wrestling 5 & 1, that’s 5 tasty tidbits of news from this week, & 1 smokin’ hottie to send you all home happy!

NXT Rookies Take the World by Storm

More news stemming from the unreal finish to Monday night’s RAW seems to suggest that WWE is definitely behind this storyline, wherever it’s heading.

For starters, they apparently didn’t bother to actually tell any of the ring crew on Monday that anything along those lines was going to happen. They wanted genuine reactions from the crew and I’d say it paid off. Those people were scrambling around like a shotgun had gone off.

Later in the week the plot thickened at an FCW taping, which saw The Miz and Christian left laying at the hands of the NXT legion. Slater and Danielson were heeling it up, and The Miz was even working face, and by the end of the show the Pros had gotten the Cena treatment while the Rookies again stood tall.

FYI this is now the second segment in the column where I’ve mentioned this angle, and it’s not just cuz it’s kind of a slow news week! I haven’t been this excited about something in wrestling in quite some time!

**BREAKING NEWS**
Daniel Bryan has been released by WWE! What the fuck? Hopefull it’s a work, cuz otherwise this kinda puts a real damper on my hopes for this whole angle. I’m really hoping this is just so he can get rid of the shitty Daniel Bryan moniker and everyone can start calling him Bryan Danielson…I guess we’ll see…

Jeffrey Nero Hardy Finally Catches a Break. Or Not.

Earlier this week, it was reported that three of the four charges brought against Jeff Hardy had suddenly been dropped. This seemed to support the rampant speculation by fans that the prosecution simply didn’t have a lot of evidence against Hardy. Of the charges originally brought against him, the following were reported to have been dropped:

*Felony drug trafficking, Two felony charges of possession of a Schedule III controlled substance or drug.

*Felony possession of cocaine, Felony maintaining a dwelling for redistribution of controlled substances.

*Misdemeanor Possession of drug paraphernalia.

But wait! The plot thickens!

Less than two days later, a local North Carolina newspaper quoted the DA assigned to the Hardy case in saying that no changes whatsoever had been dropped. In fact, she said, a fifth charge had been added.

The court calendar apparently had confirmed the dropped charges, but as of yet nothing has been confirmed.

My favorite part about this story, though, is the fact that the newspaper article only mentions WWE. Dixie Carter must have read this news and just started twisting the heads off of teddy bears in her bedroom while still trying to keep a smile on her face.

They bring this guy in and put their faith and support in him to not end up doing jail time (which I wouldn’t be shocked to see happen a week after he wins the TNA title), and they can’t even get a mention in a news article about the guy.

Survivor Series Survives the Series of Serious Changes (phew!)

Updated WWE event calendars confirmed this week that Survivor Series did not, in fact, get the axe for this coming fall! It was previously reported that WWE had decided to do away with the Survivor Series concept because modern fans don’t dig it, which they inferred from its abnormally low buy rate.

Turns out maybe Vince just needs to accept the fact that a lot of wrestling fans also enjoy UFC.

After having to face the reality that this years Wrestlemania buy rate was somewhat crippled by a UFC pay-per-view the week before, it was decided that this might be the actual reason for the low Survivor Series buy rate as well.

And always the good sport, Vince McMahon instructed everyone on RAW to make absolutely no mention of Quiton “Rampage” Jackson’s afficilation with UFC. Cuz it’s not competition or anything.

At any rate, I’m thrilled Survivor Series is safe. I was really pissed off when I heard that it had been cut, because I’m truly of the opinion that it’s one of those four “big four” that should never be changed. Hell, I still kinda wish King of the Ring were still around, though I can understand that one because paying for a tournament is kinda meh.

Drew McIntyre in the Dog House, Justice Found in Universe

The Observer reported earlier this week that The Chosen One has recently fallen out of the good graces of WWE management. It seems they’ve cooled on him because his push hasn’t set the world on fire and nobody seems to give a shit about him.

My question is – what the fuck took so long?

Did they not sense this like 6 months ago when his undefeated streak began?

He’s also apparently kind of a Diva, but that’s what you get for marrying one, I guess.

At any rate, the best part about all of this was that Jack Swagger essentially received the main event push which was originally slated for Drew – and thank god. Swagger is pretty awesome, Drew not so much.

And hey, even if he’s headed towards becoming the whipping boy for Matt Hardy and his Dark Companion, at least he still gets to go home to the former general manager of ECW!

TNA Returns to Pac-Land

There is another new TNA video game in the works, this time for the Nintendo DS:

“The new TNA video game on Nintendo DS that comes out in late June will feature the six-sided ring instead of the ring TNA currently uses. The roster will include Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley, Sting, Homicide, Jeff Jarrett, Abyss, AJ Styles, Eric Young, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal and Shark Boy.”

First of all, I know the last TNA game sucked shit, but could they really get nothing besides Nintendo DS? Can anybody imagine a less desirable console/handheld on which to play a wrestling game? Maybe you can use the touch screen to recreate the Finger-Poke of Doooooom!

And how the hell did Homicide make the cut but not Hernandez? And why does Shark Boy even have a job let alone a slot in a video game?

On the bright side, the images should be small enough so as not to reveal all the gray hair, wrinkled faces, and bionic hips stuffed into that roster.

Your thoughts?