The Piledriver Report 07.22.10: Create Your Dream Promotion

Even basketball stars are getting into the mix. Just two weeks ago, Dwayne Wade drafted Chris Bosh and Lebron James to play on his fantasy basketball team. Oh wait, they’re all playing for the real life Miami Heat. Nothing gets fans of sports talking more then the discussion of “fantasy” teams. Whether it’s a make believe team on paper, or a real life super team of all stars, fans can’t help but get excited regarding the possibilities that such teams offer.

This leads us to the professional wrestling industry. What would happen if you could have a fantasy wrestling organization that was able to sign any superstar without having to worry about being able to offer more money then Vince, or less travel dates then TNA? What wrestling stars would you sign? Before everyone lists every top star in the industry, and says “that’s who would be in my fantasy federation,” there must be parameters set.

First, you are only able to sign five singles wrestlers from each of the “major” federations. For our purposes, those federations would be the WWE, TNA, and Ring of Honor. Next, you are allowed to sign four tag teams, regardless of which federation that they ply their trade in. However, they must be current tag teams. You are allowed to pick two legends, as well as two performers who aren’t affiliated with any of the “big three” at the moment. Your final three picks would be “non-wrestlers.” These would be performers in any of the big three, or those not affiliated with any of the big three, whose main focus is not to wrestle in a ring. Thus, you are looking at General Managers, managers, announcers, bookers, writers, promoters, and owners.

This gives you a complete roster of thirty performers. After you read my choices, and the reasons behind each choice, feel free to leave your choices and reasons in the comments section following this article

WWE

John Cena: This pick surprises me, as I’m not a fan of the character “John Cena.” However, if you are starting a wrestling promotion, John Cena has to be viewed as the top choice to sign to a deal. Cena, at 33 years old, is still in the prime of his career. He gets the biggest reactions, whether it’s cheers or boos, in the business today. He sells the most merchandise of any performer today. For a new company, you would need the cash that John Cena can bring in. His popularity and name recognition would bring your federation instant credibility. Finally, he is a tireless worker, who when not wrestling, makes promotional appearances, visits Make A Wish children, and makes other charity appearances. Plus, did I mention how loyal he is to the company he works for?

CM Punk: If John Cena is going to be the top babyface in your company, you need a strong heel to counter act against Cena. During the past year, no other wrestler has done a better job at being a heel then Punk. His “straight edge society” gimmick, and “I’m better then you” attitude, has drawn him a ton of heat at wrestling shows. When Punk grabs a microphone, you stop what you are doing in order to hear every word that he is about to say. Besides being a great heel, if you wanted to turn him into a babyface, with his real life belief of no drinking, drugs, or smoking, he is a great role model for the younger audience. Punk will be turning 32 years old in October, so he should still be at the top of his game for years to come.

Chris Jericho: While Chris Jericho will be turning the BIG 4-0 in November, wee will not hold that against him. Jericho is one of the most complete performers in the business today. He can talk. He can work. He has no problem putting anybody over, and is willing to help the younger workers get better. Jericho also has a unique ability to do things that few wrestlers are capable of doing. Chris Jericho is able to reinvent himself, and his character, in order to avoid becoming a stale character. Plus, he is multi-talented away from the ring, as he sings in a band, writes books, and even does non-wrestling television work. Jericho’s “outside of wrestling” interests can only help promote the brand name of our federation.

The Miz: Out of any performer in wrestling, no other individual has surprised me more with their growth and improvement than The Miz has over the past two years. When he first arrived into the WWE, The Miz drew a tremendous amount of heat. Unfortunately, that heat was “get the hell off of my TV. You suck!” kind of heat. Then, he started to team up with John Morrison, and you can see some gradual improvement. Despite The Miz becoming a better performer, John Morrison was looked at as the “Shawn Michaels” of the group. Then a funny thing happened. The Miz was drafted to RAW, turned on John Morrison, and started a mini-feud with John Cena. At the time, nobody bought The Miz as a series contender to John Cena. However, a year later, The Miz has become a tremendous performer on the microphone, and is very passable in the ring. Today, not only do people see him as a top level star, they see him as a serious possibility to carry the WWE World title belt around his waist. A wrestler who continues to get better definitely earns a position on my promotion’s roster.

Edge: I was divided on whether I should choose Edge or Rey Mysterio for the final WWE pick to enter my company. Both have terrific attributes. Rey has a unique look and tremendous high-flying ability. Plus, he draws in the Hispanic audience like no other wrestler today. However, I had to go with Edge. He has proven in the past that he can carry a television show as the brand’s top star, like he did for the WWE’s SmackDown! show. He had a run where he was probably the top heel in the business. Rey Mysterio plays the underdog role to perfection. However, Edge looks like he belongs in the ring with all of the top guys in the business. For me, it all came down to personal taste. I have always been a huge Edge fan, so I had to add him to my roster.

TNA

Rob Van Dam: The “whole F’N show” is one of the most unique wrestlers in the business today. While not the greatest talker in the profession, Rob Van Dam’s laid back attitude, and natural charisma makes it easy to root for him. Some may say that his wrestling style is careless. However, I’ll call it realistic. RVD’s biggest attribute has to be his ability as an innovator when it comes to creating unique wrestling moves. From the Van Daminator to the Van Terminator, RVD always seems to come up with a new move that fits his ring style. However, if you could deal with RVD partaking in his favorite substance, he is a fine addition to any roster.

Kurt Angle: With Kurt Angle turning 42 years old before the end of the year, Angle is one of the oldest wrestlers on my roster. However, he is worth the roster spot. Kurt Angle is a former Olympic Gold Medalist wrestler. Angle is one of the greatest workers in the history of the business. He is held in such high regard that Bret Hart lists Angle as the one opponent he would love to have match with if he was really able to go. The down fall with Kurt is that he has neck problems that could slow him down pretty fast. However, Angle hasn’t lost a step yet. The roster needs a world class worker to give us 4 to 5 star matches on any given night. Kurt Angle fits that position perfectly.

AJ Styles: While AJ Styles has been among the top workers in the industry for years, Styles has really come into his own during the last year. AJ is a solid worker, who keeps improving. He is no longer seen as just a high flyer. AJ is extremely loyal to his employer, as he has been with TNA Wrestling since its very first show. Styles, along with Samoa Joe and Christopher Daniels faced each other in the greatest match in TNA history, and one of the greatest Triple Threat matches in professional wrestling history. While I can do without the Ric Flair Junior act, I like AJ as a heel, and love ring work. AJ deserves a spot on my roster, and easily makes the team.

Samoa Joe: I first heard about Samoa Joe through the Wrestling Observer newsletter. I finally saw what all of the fuss was about when Joe faced AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels at TNA Unbreakable in the aforementioned Triple Threat match. I later watched a DVD copy of his ROH match against Kenta Kobashi. I love Joe’s aggressive, hard nosed style. His wars against Kurt Angle were classics in TNA. With Angle, AJ, and Ring of Honor rival CM Punk already on my roster, Samoa Joe should be able to have several Match of the Year level contests.

Desmond Wolfe: The first time I saw Desmond live was when I attended a Ring of Honor show where he wrestled as Nigel McGuinness. The first things that caught my eye was that he stole several catchphrases from various wrestlers from other promotions. He also loved his “no bumps required” gimmick. Finally, his ring work sold me. I became a huge Nigel fan, and was thrilled when he signed on with the WWE. After he was quickly let go, because they had concerns about his health, I was happy that he landed on his feet in TNA. His feud with Kurt Angle made me even happier. Another great worker to build my promotion on is more then worth the spot on my roster for Nigel/Desmond.

Ring of Honor

Chris Hero: The first time I was Chris Hero was at a no name independent show. I know Sabu’s business manager, and she told me that Sabu would be there, so I should go. That night, I saw two wrestlers that I knew would be future stars in the business. The first was Harry Smith. The second was Chris Hero. For my taste, Chris Hero had it all. He could talk. He had in-ring work. He was extremely charismatic. I thought back then that Hero was taylor made for the WWE. While he hasn’t arrived into the “E” yet, his work in Ring of Honor has been terrific. Chris Hero gets a position in my promotion.

Tyler Black: Finally, a wrestler on the roster in his early twenties. Even though, Tyler doesn’t turn 25 until next May, Black is the current Ring of Honor World Champion. Black isn’t even in his prime yet, and is already one of the best players in the game today. The WWE wishes that their NXT guys had half the talent and potential of Tyler Black.

Christopher Daniels: Daniels is a solid worker. Honestly, I have never been a huge Daniels fan. I liked his work, but not loved his work. However, I can’t help but want to see another Daniels/Syles/Joe Triple Threat match. That alone gets him in my promotion.

Austin Aries: Aries is the first, and only two-time ROH World Heavyweight Champion. Aries wrestles in ROH and had a stint in TNA. Aries has a great personality, and is a very good worker. This is a great combination to land in my promotion.

Necro Butcher: Necro Butcher was made famous in Combat Zone Wrestling, where he made hardcore wrestling into an artform. Every wrestling promotion needs a hardcore icon. Mick Foley is too old, so Necro inherits the spot of hardcore wrestler on my team.

Tag Teams

Harry Smith/Tyson Kidd: The Hart Dynasty: My first tag team pick goes to the latest generation of the Hart Foundation. Smith is the power of the team. Kidd delivers the risk taking. Both compliment each other extremely well. Its no wonder they represent the top of the WWE’s tag ranks.

Jay & Mark Briscoe: The Briscoe Brothers: The Briscoes are probably the best team that no one outside of the die hard, or Ring of Honor fans, have heard of. The two wrestlers are the prototypical tag team. When you look up “tag team wrestling” in the dictionary, chances are, you would see a picture of the Briscoes.

Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin: Motor City Machine Guns: The Machine Guns remind me of the old school tag teams of the eighties like the Killer Bees, the Rockers, and the Rock n’ Roll Express. Sabin and Shelley are acrobatic wrestlers, who make you long for the days of tag team wrestling. When you watch the Machine Gunns wrestle, you know that these guys aren’t being used as filler, but as guys that could steal the show.

Max & Jeremy Buck: Generation Me (aka The Young Bucks): Generation Me is the late 2000 version of the Hardys. A couple of skinny kids who excite the crowd with unbelievable moves. Put them in the ring with the Motor City Machine Guys, and you get pure beauty in the squared circle.

Legends

Shawn Michaels: OK, to be honest, I mainly created this category as a way to get Shawn Michaels in my promotion. After all, with all due respect to Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels is the greatest performer that I’ve ever seen. He could do it all. Talk on the mic, play the arrogant heel, wrestle a five star match, or steal the show at WrestleMania. The beauty of Shawn Michaels is that age didn’t matter. Shawn Michaels turns 45 today, and can still out work 90 percent of the performers on the WWE roster. I can’t see having a fantasy promotion, and leaving him off the roster.

The Rock: My second “legend” was tough to choose from. Hulk Hogan was wrestling in the 80s. He put the industry on a whole other level. Steve Austin was the most popular performer in the late 90s Attitude Era. He also retired before the fans were tired of him. However, I chose The Rock as my second legend for a couple of reasons. When he left, The Rock was at the top of his game. He could cut a promo unlike any other wrestler in the business. He could also work at a high level. Although, what puts The Rock over the top for me is that when I look at the list of possible wrestlers, I miss The Rock the most, and would love to see him thrill the crowd with that “one more match.”

Performers with no affiliation

Bryan Danielson: This is another case of me creating a category just to get a particular wrestler on my roster. Hey, it’s my fantasy promotion, and I can hire the wrestlers that I want. Danielson is arguably the best technical wrestler in the business today. In my promotion, the “America Dragon” could have dream matches against Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle. He could have Ring of Honor reunion matches against ROH alumni Samoa oe, CM Punk, and Desmond Wolfe. That’s reason enough to include him on the roster. Not to mention, I love the “I have til five!” explanation that he would give to the referee when he is choking a guy out, or using the ropes to his advantage. Maybe if he told this to Vince McMahon, he would still be in the WWE.

Dave Batista: You could argue that he is a WWE wrestler. However, he currently is no longer under contract with the company. I was never a fan of “big” Dave. However, his lates heel run in the WWE has converted me. His heel persona was a breath of fresh air on RAW earlier this year. He may not be a great worker, but his heel persona would fit in perfectly in my wrestling company.

Non-wrestlers

Jim Cornette: Who else could be the General Manager for my company then the former manager of the Midnight Express? To say that Cornette has the gift of gab would be an understatement. Jim Cornette currently fills the role of “on-air” authority figure in Ring of Honor. It’s a role that he fills to perfection. No reason to change his role in my company, as Cornette would be a terrific asset.

Paul Heyman: Forget any figurehead role. Paul Heyman would get the book, and told to go to town. Heyman’s top attribute is that he knows the latest trends, and is very hip when it comes to pop culture. With Heyman running the show, I know that my product will be among the most cutting edge programs on television. I’m not expecting ECW 2010. That’s in the past. Heyman doesn’t live in the past. It his forward thinking that would help lead my promotion to greatness.

Vicki Guerrero: No one in wrestling is more annoying, but in a good way, then Vicki Guerrero. With Jim Cornette leading the company as the on-air General Manager, Vicki would be the second in command. She would drive Cornette crazy. I would love to see that.