Wrestling’s 4R’s Monday Edition 8.30.10: ROH, Superstars, Impact & SmackDown Reviewed!

In HD where available…

By: Aaron Hubbard

ROH on HDNet 08.23.10:

QUICK RESULTS:
The Briscoe Brothers def. Alex Anthony & Bobby Shields [*]
PICK SIX: Kevin Steen def. Jerry Lynn [***]
The Embassy def. Rasche Brown, Grizzly Redwood & The Dark City Fight Club [**1/2]

DAVEY GIVES HAGADORN THE BOOT: We got video of what happened “last week” after the main event between Davey Richards and Roderick Strong. If you don’t remember, Shane Hagadorn attempted to aid Richards when the referee was out, but Richards is his own man now and didn’t take kindly to Hagadorn interjecting himself in the match. He shoved him off the apron, and Roderick was able to take advantage of the distraction and beat Davey in somewhat unconvincing fashion with the Sick Kick. This was a continuation of what happened at Death Before Dishonor VIII when Hagadorn interfered in the classic Richards vs. Black match. Obviously, Hagadorn wasn’t too pleased and scolded Davey for not letting him do his job. When he let Hagadorn do his job, he became a tag-team champion. When he didn’t, he lost to Black. Richards decked him, which brought out Eddie Edwards. Davey said that Eddie was his pack, but that he was done with Hagadorn. This is Richards’ completed face-turn, and I look forward to his last few months in the company.

GLORY BY HONOR IX HYPE: Jim Cornette got promo time to hype up the dream tag team match between The Kings of Wrestling (who will be facing Colt Cabana & El Generico next week) and Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. Cornette said that the match will be a MOTYC, which puts quite a bit of pressure on these four, but we’ll see come September 11. More importantly, Cornette was interrupted by Roderick Strong and Truth Martini, who wanted to select their own referee for the title match after the events of Supercard of Honor V. Tyler Black came out with piss and vinegar and said that they should just take the ref out of the equation by making it No Disqualification. Corny didn’t want to do this since Truth Martini is a scumbag with House of Truth cronies to back him up, but Tyler threatened to pull out of the match if Cornette didn’t agree to his terms. What a great heel move. Strong is obviously going to be the overwhelming fan-favorite in the match, and No DQ should allow for him to give a great beating to Tyler en route to finally getting his overdue title reign.

LYNN vs. STEEN: Jerry Lynn and Kevin Steen competed for Steen’s spot in the Pick Six rankings, and the result was a pretty good match. Lynn is still very good, although I think he’s lost a step since last year. Kevin Steen is just a fantastic wrestler who can wrestle any style. This match saw him go back to the high-impact offense he used during his tag team days with El Generico, while also adding some smart, creative spots to the match. Watching him set up Lynn for his signature legdrop counter to a shoulder block through the ropes, only to move out of the way, was a thing of beauty. Unfortunately, the match is a little bit tainted for me do to Rhett Titus providing an unnecessary distraction for Lynn before Steen won. Now, I’m sorry, but Kevin Steen should be beating Jerry Lynn on his own and fairly easily. Jerry is a guy who, with his position on the card and his age, should be jobbing to the younger, talented stars that will be able to serve ROH for the next few years, such as Kevin Steen.

BRISCOES SEMI-SQUASH: I don’t hate squash matches and the Briscoes do them as well as anyone else in the business, so I don’t have a problem with this being booked. However, how it was booked was problematic. It went on for several minutes, which is ridiculous as The Briscoes should be able to end these jobbers in 90 seconds, and it also showed that the jobbers are very green and shouldn’t be in a wrestling match on television for any real length of time. They were sloppy and it really hurt the match.

D-LEVEL MAIN EVENT: In all fairness, this wasn’t a bad match. However, there are so many things wrong with this match that I can’t put it anywhere but the ridiculous section. First off, this is our main event, and was an average, somewhat fun match with a crappy ending, and I hold ROH main events to a standard of ***1/4 or it underperforms. ROH sells themselves as wrestling, I expect them to deliver great wrestling, and let’s face it, maybe half of the eight men in here (Stevens, Daivari, Redwood, possibly Butcher) could be considered to be above average workers. So the action wasn’t very good. Beyond that, we had a several minute heat-segment on Grizzly Redwood, who hasn’t even been on TV in months. There is no way that Necro Butcher, Erick Stevens and Shawn Daivari should not have been able to put Grizzly away. This isn’t Rey Mysterio we’re talking about here. Indeed, Grizzly didn’t even take the fall, it was one-half of the Dark City Fight Club, which is the one act in here that actually has momentum considering Rasche is out of the company. And hey, now that I’m thinking about it, shouldn’t this have been Butcher’s Rules, or did that stipulation get forgotten about?

My final complaint is that no-one in this match belongs in main events unless they are facing real main eventers. Erick Stevens is the only guy here who can work at a main event level, while Necro is the only one over enough to possibly work at a main event level. The Embassy as a group has been a joke since Jimmy Rave left and Castagnoli ditched them to team with Hero. Nobody cares about them or their never-ending feud with mid-carders. Rasche is out of ROH, Grizzly hasn’t done anything in months and the DCFC have spent the better part of two years in the company without a significant push up the card. This is like having RAW main evented by Santino Marella, Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust & Primo vs. William Regal, Vladimir Kozlov & The Usos. Embarrassing.

By: Chad Nevett

iMpact! 08.26.10:

QUICK RESULTS
– Samoa Joe defeated Orlando Jordan [*1/2]
– Kevin Nash defeated Jeff Jarrett [*1/2]
– Beer Money, Inc. defeated the FBI [1/2*]
– Motor City Machine Guns defeated Generation Me [**1/2]
– Team WWE defeated Fortune [**]

BEER MONEY, INC. vs. THE FBI: Now this is how the feud between Fortune and EV2.0 should go: the representatives of Fortune kick the crap out of the representatives of EV2.0 in matches so one-sided and brutal that, even though EV2.0’s families know everything is all right, they can’t help but break down and weep at seeing their loved ones look like such Losers on national television. Little Guido and Tony Luke were treated like jobbers here and to see them included in the EV2.0 story again in the future would be missing the point. MORE OF THIS, PLEASE.

MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS vs. GENERATION ME: After an inexplicable backstage promo involving Green Day Rock Band (why was only the guitar being played when Alex Shelley was sitting behind the drum kit?), we got the first in what hopes to be many matches between these two teams. Generation Me tried to out-coordinate and out-fly the Guns, but their main problem was that they couldn’t outlast the Guns. Some of the cool spots were made a little silly by being overdone (like the flip off the top rope that they showed many times, always cutting out the weird back-and-forth prep the Bucks did before). This was a good showing of the experienced team winning, but being able to take more punishment and capitalize on counters.

SAMOA JOE vs. ORLANDO JORDAN: Samoa Joe returns to be weirded out by a man that gyrates in the corner and wants to lick action figures. Joe was quick, vicious and hard-hitting, but his attacks coming after Jordan’s antics didn’t sit right with me. What is the point of Jordan’s character? His attempts at ‘psyching out’ his opponents just piss them off so they gain the strength of ten homophobes and pound on him. Oh, I get the lesson: gay wrestler = creepy pervert who must be beaten down. Okay. Still, Samoa Joe won me over with his combos. That should be the man that Kurt Angle meets at Bound for Glory for the World Title.

THE SILICONE WHORES REUNITE: Rule #28 in wrestling: all factions/teams will reunite at some point. So, now we have Angelina Love and Velvet Sky back together as the Beautiful People and Madison Rayne a pissed off, screeching harpy. Works for me. This segment wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that great either. It accomplished what it needed to and saved us all from a horrible match intended to do the same.

FORTUNE vs. TEAM WWE: Now, here’s a booking problem for you. On one side, you have a hot new stable full of young talent that you’d ideally want to keep strong. On the other, the four men competing in your tournament for the World Championship. What do you do? What do you do? If you answered “Not book the match in the first place,” you’re a better man than some, but wouldn’t find work in Orlando. No, we must make do with what’s given and so do the eight men put in a match where No One Wins on Thursday night. The majority of the match was Fortune looking coherent, unified and like a team of winners. Team WWE, on the other hand, could only muster weak tags or watch helplessly as one of their teammates was made to look a fool. Poor Jeff Hardy managed one piece of offense before Matt Morgan dominated him much the same way he dominated the Pope last week. His attitude spoke louder than his action: give him someone worth wrestling. The match’s eventual deterioration into chaos should have benefited Fortune, but Team WWE had to go over after Kurt Angle did all the heavy lifting and the Pope stole the pin. Anyone who had doubts about who’s walking out of Bound for Glory with the strap didn’t anymore. I would have preferred to see the in-fighting on Team WWE happen before the end of the match, so Fortune would walk away victorious against four men with four different agendas. After the match, EV2.0 came down and the show closed on a brawl. Again.

THE OVERBOOKED OPENING SEGMENT: One of my least favorite stories in wrestling is the idea that contracted employees are, somehow, destroying a company. I’ll buy it in an ‘invasion’ story, but when it’s just some regular wrestlers attacking other guys? Whatever. The boss coming out and talking about how they’re destroyed everything that was created or them talking about how they’re taking over… it just makes me laugh. I had the same problem with parts of the Nexus story recently. I just can’t buy into the whole ‘fight for the future of the company’ bullshit. So, imagine how little I liked it when someone like Dixie Carter is trying to sell me on it. It got worse when, to save Dixie and her husband from the evil, evil Fortune, Hulk Hogan came down with the four men still in the TNA World Championship Tournament and proclaimed them the real TNA: Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson and the Pope. Four guys who made their names in the WWE (two of which have been with TNA for less than a year) standing against six guys where the most recent TNA acquisition is Douglas Williams and he’s been with the company over two years, longer than everyone on Team WWE barring Kurt Angle. Oh, the irony! There’s also the issue of Hogan and Team WWE coming out to confront Fortune when Fortune is already feuding with EV2.0. But, why keep things so simple? They still included EV2.0 with their attack on Fortune as it was leaving. Everyone hates Fortune, I guess.

JEFF JARRETT vs. KEVIN NASH: While I love Samoa Joe turning down Jarrett’s request to watch his back, I’ve also read the rumors about Joe getting involved in the faction with Nash and Sting, so… NO! NO, TNA, DO NOT DO THAT. THAT IS STUPID. BAD, TNA. BAD, TNA! This match wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be, but I sometimes forget that these old guys can still deliver an entertaining match. Since their bodies have crapped out on them, all that’s left is solid storytelling, which this match had. Nash was the chickenshit heel that couldn’t get the job done, while Jarrett was the brave face sure to be cheated out of victory but fighting anyway because that’s what brave faces do. And, sure enough, he was cheated out of victory and was choked with a baseball bat for his trouble. And Hogan got to be the hero despite him barely being able to walk. Oh lord, just end this now. When this is the best match we’re going to get, end it now.

ABYSS BRAWLS WITH SOME PEOPLE: I’ll be honest with you, I fast-forwarded through these two brawls, because I’ve seen Abyss brawl around the Impact Zone enough times in my life. It looked just as tedious and boring sped up as I’m sure it did in real time.

LONDON BRAWLING GO SHOPPING: So, I guess Desmond Wolfe and Brutus Magnus are a tag team now? And the way to introduce that fact to the audience that only gets Impact on their televisions is… to have them go shopping! I have no idea what the point of this was, only that it wasted several minutes of my life. Fuck.

By: Steve Cook

Superstars 08.12.10:

QUICK RESULTS:
William Regal d. Goldust (**¾)
The Dude Busters d. Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer (**)
Drew McIntyre d. Chris Masters (**½)

WILLIAM REGAL vs. GOLDUST:I hope the young guys backstage were watching this one, and I hope young wrestlers out there are watching matches with guys like Regal & Goldust. Some pretty crisp action here from two veterans that know what they’re doing in the ring.

THE DUDE BUSTERS vs. CURT HAWKINS & VANCE ARCHER: I’m still not sure who the faces and the heels are in this Superstars series, but I do know that I can’t root for Vance Archer switching to trunks and showing off even more of his ridiculous tattoos. Sure, nothing can top the tat on the lower back, but the stuff on his legs is pretty bad. I think those beer-drinking sessions with Impact Zone fans led to some bad decisions. Since the Hart Dynasty is still MIA I guess it makes sense to have these two teams fight to be the number one contenders. Even-steven booking means that the Busters got the win this week after losing the first match, and I have no problem with that. Gotta fill time somehow!

DREW McINTYRE vs. CHRIS MASTERS: This was a pretty well-worked match where Drew continued his trend of working over one body part most of the time. Chris Masters’ ankle became the focus of the Sinister Scotsman, and he did a good job of turning the Masterpiece into a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest. You can see the improvement in McIntyre with every passing week…he’s not World title material yet, but he’ll get there. Chris Masters may indeed be Mr. Superstars, but at least he didn’t lose in three seconds.

Nothing of note.

Nothing of note.

Nothing of note.

By: Jeremy Thomas

WWE SmackDown 08.27.10

QUICK RESULTS:
Kane def. Rey Mysterio [** ¾]
CM Punk def. JTG [* ¼]
Kofi Kingston def. Dolph Ziggler [*** ¼]
Jack Swagger def. MVP by DQ [¼*]
Albert Del Rio def. Carlos Sanchez [* ¼]
The Big Show def. Luke Gallows [*]

REY MYSTERIO vs. KANE: This match was a no disqualification match and was definitely a powerful way to start off the show. The crowd was pumped to see two main eventers battle in the opening match of the show and both men got pretty good reactions on the way out here. Kane is more over than he’s been in years and that speaks well to how his storyline with Rey and Taker has gone. Now, Kane and Rey have always worked their formula match style well, and this was no different.. I would in fact venture to say that very few men have worked as well as the big man fighting Rey Rey. They did some good, solid work here and utilized the No Disqualification stipulation very effectively. It didn’t get outside of the PG area but it seemed more effective than it probably otherwise would have because we haven’t seen as much like it in the last several months. Kane got the win and it helps get him over, and yet Rey doesn’t look bad because he was selling an arm injury at Alberto Del Rio’s hands…not to mention he’s like half Kane’s size. Good stuff here in the match.

Of course, after the match we had Del Rio come down to the ring, and he faked sarcastic concern for Rey Rey before saying that Rey looked like a dying dog and needed to be put down. He took Rey out, then came back and pretty much finished the job. The heavy push on Alberto continues, and you have to appreciate that. This has definitely helped get him over.

CM PUNK vs. JTG: Our second match of the show had CM Punk coming down to ringside with Luke, Joey and (for one last time) Serena in order to take on JTG. Somehow, JTG is still a wee bit over. That’s not gonna last. Anyway, this match was a good, solid squash of JTG and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. In fact, I don’t think JTG got more than the roll-up and the snap mare in the opening of the match. This gave Punk a good, strong couple of minutes of dominance and while that’s not a good match, it’s a good way to give the SES some momentum. And it’s always nice to see the Anaconda Vice come back for the first time since Punk used it against Taker. Obviously it’s coming out so that Punk can have a move to use against Show, but I love that it made its comeback on the same night the Dead Man debuted.

After the match, Punk got the Society down on their knees and told them that he’d set the example, and Luke would do it next against Big Show. “Be better, or be gone!” Guess Serena wasn’t better. Anyway, good stuff.

DASHING CODY RHODES SHAVES HIS BODY: Okay, I don’t know think that this meant to seriously imply that Cody is gay or not, but if it is then it’s the best done gay character that we’ve ever seen in wrestling on a national scale. This week, Cody was shaving his legs, and while I still think it’s more metrosexual than non-heterosexual, it’s classic work either way. To quote Chris Lansdell, “That character is so far in the closet he’s having tea with Mr. Tumnus.” Enjoy…

…..DASHING!

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KOFI KINGSTON: You know, this is the feud that just won’t die, but I’m totally okay with this. The fits of rage are a nice addition to Kofi’s character and the continual retentions are helping Dolph no matter how he wins. The two men have been steadily improving their work against each other as time goes on and this was probably their best match to date. Both of these guys are good workers and they’ve just needed to find their potential to put on a good match together. They got a ton of time here and made the most of it, building the match’s pace effectively and getting the crowd invested in the match. An interesting point was that Dolph seems to be at odds with Vicki’s attempts to help; he berated her when she slapped Kofi behind the ref’s back and had to be held back from re-entering the ring. Surely, part of this was him not wanting to be disqualified and lose the belt, but it also seems like he wants to legitimately beat Kofi so he can move on. He was celebrating post-match, but not ecstatically. I would like to see this end and both men move on myself, but it worked out well enough.

ALBERTO DEL RIO KILLS SOME GUY: This was the second-to-last match on the show and was basically a way for them to give Del Rio a dominating performance against someone. Del Rio’s entrance may just trump Morrison’s and Drew’s, I have to say. His own ring announcer is a touch of brilliance. His opponent was Carlos Sanchez; I assume that Carlos’s brother Gary was busy making a movie. But yeah, like the CM Punk killing of JTG this was a squash match. Del Rio’s in-ring work is pretty good and his expressions are great; he’s like a face with just enough exaggeration to make it heelish. Anyway, this did what it needed to accomplish and I can’t argue with that.

TAKER RETURNS: So, our main event segment was the Undertaker’s return, as would be expected. The crowd was of course pumped as hell for his appearance and they marked for his entrance as he made his way down to the ring, all purple lighting and such. He talked about how he wasn’t dead yet, but he was still the Dead Man and this was still his yard. He talked about Kane and his betrayal, which he would pay dearly for. Taker did a decent job in this promo until Kane showed up and talked about how he could hear the weakness of his voice and how he wasn’t the Phenom anymore. Kane said he had nothing less to prove; Taker countered that Kane always walked in his shadow but that he was the guy who built the house that the Devil walked in. This wasn’t perhaps as great as people were hoping for, but it was another example of Kane coming out and looking unafraid of Taker. It showed the two brothers on equal footing and was a decent way to continue the feud.

THE BIG SHOW vs. LUKE GALLOWS: Show had Triple K at his side for this match, while Luke had Serena. Neither of them did much for this though, other than a brief confrontation early on. But then, “early on” is about all this match had. This was a squashing to put Show over in his confrontation with Punk and that’s fine, but I frankly would have liked to see Luke get at least SOME offense in. Also, the match was just not nearly as good during its short time as the other squashes were. I see the point, but this still lacked for me.

TEDDY AND HORNY PLAY CHARADES: Go ahead, try to tell me that you’re surprised this is in the wRong. If you can say it with a straight face, you get a biscuit. Anyway, Teddy was chilling in his office and letting Rosa show him a Shake Weight, after which Horny showed up. They played charades and some jokes were made about how there’s no English-to-Leprechaun dictionary. Warwick Davis totally needs to show up at some point….just had to say that. So, let’s imagine we have something that isn’t getting over very well, like the Women’s division. And that, despite your champions trying their damnedest, no one cares about the whole group. How do you get it even less credibility? Throw the leprechaun into the mix. I think this was Teddy at about his cheesiest, and Hornswoggle was of course irritating. Screw this.

THE JACK SWAGGER SR. INVITATIONAL: So, this was an amateur wrestling match where the winner was the person to get to five takedowns first. We’ve seen amateur stuff work before, but this isn’t one of those times. These guys have never, ever had a good feud against each other and if tonight is any indication the new feud is going to be no different. Swagger played the comedy tolerably, but this just didn’t work. Yay, Jack can take MVP down and outwrestle him. And MVP can…slap Swagger. Someone tell me what the point of this was? I assume MVP will be putting Swagger over at the end of this feud, and that’s good I suppose but this was just dull and boring.

DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.

Until Friday, keep on kickin’ it!

…and remember to stay grounded!