411’s Instant Analysis: Monday Night Raw 09.27.10

Hi, hello & welcome to Instant Analysis! The Instant Analysis column is the companion piece to 411 Live Coverage and features immediate reaction to wrestling shows. The focus in Instant Analysis is on first thoughts and initial reactions instead of play-by-play, with the goal of providing you with instant access to writers’ thoughts on the show. We have decided to give these a try for some of the TV shows, so let’s see how things work out . . .

It’s Steve Cook in the driver’s seat this week, the first time you haven’t been treated to the written styling of Ryan Byers or Larry Csonka in one of these things. I decided to give it a try this week and see how it goes. As an added bonus, I am also writing a special Tuesday edition of News From Cook’s Corner tonight. Holy Crossover, Batman! Enough of the small talk, let’s get to the analyzing…

SEGMENT ONE
Miz & Alex Riley vs. Daniel Bryan & John Morrison
Match Result: Miz pins Bryan with the Skull Crushing Finale
Match Length: Six minutes

We started Raw with a recap of recent events in the Daniel Bryan/Miz feud. Since that spot usually involves the main event feud, I thought it was pretty cool that Bryan/Miz got that slot and helped elevate their issue. Miz then talked about how Bryan challenged him & Riley to a tag team match tonight. Ride of the Valkyries plays, and here comes Daniel Bryan! Tremendous. Miz is not as impressed with the choice in theme music since he’s never listened to classical music in his life. His Awesome tag line gets cut off twice, once by Bryan’s music, and then by John Morrison’s music. Riley starts the match for his team, getting to work both Bryan & Morrison and looking decent in the process. Morrison ends up playing the face in peril for a little while, Miz & Riley show some good continuity and have the potential to be a pretty good tag team. The fans love reminding Miz that he tapped out. Bryan finally gets the hot tag and gets a good response from the Indianapolis fans with his offense. It doesn’t last long, as Bryan gets finished off about a minute after the tag. Miz then attacks Bryan after the bell, Morrison comes in to break it up and beats up Miz on the outside. Bryan dives outside and attacks everybody, including Morrison! So much for that friendship. Miz, Bryan & Morrison go at it until the Mystery GM sends Michael Cole an e-mail telling him that Bryan will defend the US title against both John Morrison & The Miz in a triple threat match where submissions count anywhere. I think it’s a little quick to book that match, but when you’ve only got two weeks between PPVs that’ll happen. As for the tag match tonight, it seemed like it was going to be good but ended way too suddenly for my liking. The after-match stuff was good to get across the dislike between Bryan & Miz, and insert Morrison into the title picture. All in all it was a good piece of business.
Rating: 7.5

SEGMENT TWO
Eve, Maryse, Natalya, Gail Kim, The Bellas, Tamina, Jillian, Melina, and Alicia Fox in a Diva Battle Royal to determine the #1 Contender to the Unified Divas Championship
Match Result: Natalya wins after eliminating Alicia Fox
Match Length: Four minutes.

LayCool come out to do some commentary and I pay more attention to that than the match. Melina’s the first woman out, which makes me wonder who she pissed off backstage. LayCool sing some MC Hammer. Jillian & Alicia refuse to let the Bellas eliminate them. After them & Maryse all get eliminated, I have a hard time caring. OK, I had a hard time caring before that. It comes down to Alicia & Natalya, and Natalya eliminates Alicia to win. That was a whole lot of nothing, but it’s nice to see that they’re finally going to let Natalya wrestle. I haven’t seen much of her work, but people say that she’s good. With the Hart Dynasty fading into obscurity, it’s time to give her a chance to do something in the Diva ranks.
Rating: 4.0

SEGMENT THREE
A Secret Admirer & The Fiery Red Hand

After a brief backstage segment with Maryse & Ted DiBiase setting up the arrival of a secret admirer of Ted next week, the Celtic Warrior Fella Sheamus comes out to the ring. He tells an old Irish tale and talks about how he’s willing to cut off his own hands to be WWE Champion again. He promises to have the time of his life against Randy Orton at Hell in a Cell, but right now he calls out any WWE Superstar and says he’ll prove why he’s the fiery red hand of WWE. Good promo from Sheamus, who’s become one of the more reliable talkers in WWE in 2010.
Rating: 7.0

SEGMENT FOUR
Sheamus vs. Great Khali
Match Result: Great Khali wins via disqualification
Match Length: One minute

We come back from commercial and Sheamus complains that nobody came out. Well, what kind of dummy would walk out during a commercial break? Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler plug Mick Foley’s book while Great Khali walks down to the ring, which I’m sure surprised a lot of people. The book plug part, not Khali. Sheamus is pretty effective against the Punjabi Playboy until he gets himself disqualified. Khali left a large red handprint on Sheamus’s chest with a chop during the match, which made the pre-match promo oddly fitting. Sheamus pwns Khali after the match, kicking him in the skull a couple of times. He looks like a guy ready to be a three-time WWE Champion.
Rating: 7.0

SEGMENT FIVE
The Cutting Edge

Edge comes out to interview the Raw General Manager, who is represented by the podium and gets a robot voice. He calls Edge a moron. Edge makes a good Lindsay Lohan joke and calls the GM a big fat liar. The GM books Edge in a match tonight…with John Cena!
Rating: N/A

SEGMENT SIX
John Cena vs. Edge
Match Result: Edge wins via spear, then the GM restarts the match & Cena wins via STF
Match Length: Seven minutes, then one minute

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen the Cena/Edge feud appear on television, but it doesn’t seem these two have forgotten how to wrestle each other. The momentum goes back and forth throughout, with Edge having a slight advantage early, but Cena hanging in there with bursts of offense. Whenever it seems Edge is ready to pull away, Cena hits a move. Cena kicks out of the Edgecution. Cena comes back not long afterwards and teases an AA off the top, but Edge slips out and hits the spear for a three count!

Or maybe not. John Cena’s foot was under the bottom rope, and the Mystery GM shows a replay that forces the referee to restart the match. That goof! The ref holds Edge off and gives Cena a chance to recover…Edge charges, Cena drop toe holds and locks in the STF. Edge eventually taps. After some replays Edge is all mad and stuff, and looks towards the evil computer. The GM tries to talk sense into Edge, but Edge decides not to walk away, and shoves the podium over! He breaks the computer in half and smacks it with a chair while Michael Cole doesn’t take orders to stop Edge. The GM made a poor choice in a lackey. Decent match…not one of the best Cena/Edge matches you’ll see, but good enough for TV, and it extended the story of Edge’s consternation with the mystery Raw GM.
Score: 7.0

SEGMENT SEVEN
Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel vs. Mark Henry & Evan Bourne
Match Result: Gabriel pins Bourne with assistance from Slater
Match Length: Three minutes

The Nexus members take turns beating up Evan Bourne for a little while. After a couple minutes of that, Bourne lands some nice strikes and tags in Henry, who manhandles Gabriel & Henry as one would expect. Bourne goes up top for Air Bourne, but Slater takes Henry outside & Gabriel takes Bourne down. Gabriel misses the 450, Bourne heads up top…he hits Air Bourne, but Slater pushes Bourne over during a pinning combination and Gabriel ends up on top for the three count! Nexus beats down both Henry & Bourne after the match for good measure. Evan gets the honor of taking all the finishers, then Wade Barrett grabs the microphone and talks about how you’re either Nexus or against us. After Hell in a Cell, John Cena will become property of the Nexus. David Otunga tells us that the Nexus is invading Smackdown. Michael Tarver says that nobody on Smackdown can stop them. Well, it’ll be interesting to see what Nexus does on Smackdown. The match was just kinda there, but served the purpose of having Nexus beat people up.
Score: 6.0

SEGMENT EIGHT
Dashing Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. The Hart Dynasty
Match Result: Dashing Cody takes DH Smith down to the Cross Rhodes
Match Length: Three minutes

Dashing Cody has the best entrance in the business. This can not be disputed. I guess they’ve decided to get the Harts over with the boring push, which always works. Right, Lance Storm? Drew & Cody work over Tyson Kidd for awhile, and then David Hart Smith comes in and bumps them around. Nice clothesline in the corner on Cody, then a side suplex almost gets the Harts the titles back. Drew busts up a Hart Attack attempt, throwing Tyson into David, and then Dashing Cody wins the match and retains the Tag titles. The Harts tease tension after the match, so that tag team push is over. This didn’t get enough time to be much of anything, but it established Dashing Cody & Drew as the team to beat, and pushed the Harts off to the side. I’m going to be kind with the scoring because they played “Smoke & Mirrors” twice. WOAAAAHHHHHHHHHH YOU’RE ONLY SMOKE AND MIRRORS!
Score: 5.0

SEGMENT NINE
Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Match Result: Orton via DQ due to Sheamus interference
Match Length: thirteen minutes including commercials.

Jericho talks before the match about how he’s not scared of Randy Orton even if he’s a deranged & demented lunatic. Jericho says he’s the Viper Killer and he’ll cut the head off of the serpent tonight, and then names everybody that he’s ever beaten. I think he did this for an entire commercial break, which is a nice callback to his 1,004 Holds promo. I have to question some of these names though, because he was counting different Kevin Nash personas. Orton gets the advantage early in the match, and Jericho takes control right before a commercial. Orton’s back in control as we come back. I find that entertaining. Jericho busts out the Y2Stinger for the first time in ages and beats Orton down for a minute or so before Orton fights back. Sheamus walked out and didn’t do much else other than look at Orton. Jericho did some chinlock work for awhile, Orton suplexed him out of it and then went on offense. Jericho got to run through some of his old offense, as he got to do his bulldog, the Lionsault & the Walls of Jericho. Orton slithered out of the Walls, and then DDTed him before Sheamus ran in and caused the DQ. Orton took him out, then Jericho hit the Codebreaker because he thought the match was still going or something. He got a chair and wanted to hit Randy, but instead he got an RKO and a punt to the skull for good measure. Well, it is football season. I have no issue with Chris Jericho being written out of WWE in this fashion.
Score: 8.0