The Wrestling Sandwich 04.09.11

Steve Cook: Hi, hello & welcome to the Wrestling Sandwich! I’m Steve Cook, alongside the sensational & intelligent Black Scorpion. Bonus Cook Points if you know who I ripped that tagline from.

Black Scorpion: A very brief introduction I have this week.  Most of you spent a large sum of money on WrestleMania 27 and from the reactions I’ve been reading, you were none too pleased with the results.  Some said it was an embarrassment, a failure, even the worst WrestleMania ever, and the WWE defenders claimed it was the best one ever.  Some of you may have thought WrestleMania was a good event, but can’t understand why everybody seems to think otherwise around you.  Now you know what it is like for those of us who do defend TNA and watch the program.  I’ll be the first to admit they have problems, but as wrestling fans do we really need to ostracize anybody who calls themselves a fan? I mean it isn’t like TNA fans shelled out over a thousand dollars to watch a fourteen-minute Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler match.  

HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, sorry.  After all the weeks of TNA bashing you KNEW I had to say something! Back to you Steve!

SC: Indeed, Cole vs. Lawler was almost as bad as Sting vs. Hardy. Hope you all are having a fantastic weekend, and we’re glad you’ve chosen to make our Sandwich a small part of it.

Scorpion’s Take

WWE decided to pull out all the stops this year, including announcing WrestleMania’s main event on April 1, 2012. This has never been done before, but now leaves a full year for The Rock and John Cena to get interest in their match. And it won’t be difficult, as ever since Rock returned to the WWE, ratings have been flying higher than anybody else in the company full-time could manage. After being the victim of yet another conspiracy against me scoring anything but 50% on my WrestleMania predictions for four years in a row now, I’ve decided to team with my 411 Pro Steve Cook and pull out next year’s card, this year! Obviously a lot of factors will weigh into what actually happens, but my prescient mind cannot wait another ten months.

Main Event: The Rock vs John Cena – WWE Championship
Alberto Del Rio vs Sin Cara – World Championship
Edge vs Christian in a Ladder Match
Undertaker looks to go 20-0 against Chris Jericho
Divas Championship Match: Awesome Kong vs Michelle McCool
CM Punk and his group (if one exists) vs The Corre
Tag Championship – Big Show and Kane vs Randy Orton and HHH

Hall of Fame Class of 2012
Headliner: The Rock
“The Enforcer” Arn Anderson
“Ravishing” Rick Rude
Tully Blanchard
Celebrity Inductee: Mr. T
Female Inductee: Rockin’ Robin

Obviously, the HOF needs a huge name to bring in the viewers, and The Rock will be competing in the main event anyway, so why not induct him into the Hall in his hometown? Steve may disagree with this, but Vince has been throwing people into the HOF rather early recently: Flair was inducted while still wrestling, Shawn was inducted the year after he retired, and the list goes on the past three years for talent that was instantly added to the Hall.

Why do I think Orton and HHH would team together? For one, they used to be part of a group. For another reason, both are faces and frankly if Show and Kane become tag team champions, Orton and HHH would make a good set of opponents, especially if Show and Kane are heels for this match. With how useless tag teams are to the E, anything could really happen but if Show and Kane are around next year I’m thinking they will be fighting for or defending the tag team championship.

Steve’s Take

I’m pretty excited about having the chance to predict a card that will happen a little less than one year from today, and doing so before the inevitable post-WrestleMania talent cuts. Don’t act surprised, you know they’re coming.

Main Event: The Rock vs. John Cena

Well, this one was easy enough. The next one might throw you for a loop.

WWE Title: The Miz vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

Yeah, I’m probably going to be way wrong on this, but Austin’s been talking about how he’s healthy enough to wrestle again. He probably wouldn’t be interested in wrestling full time, but I could see him doing a match or two a year at big PPVs. Miz & Austin had some interaction on Raw Monday, and I have a feeling that’s going to lead to something. I’m not saying Miz will be champ all year, but I think he’ll have the belt again at WM.

World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

I was thinking about this before getting Scorp’s take, and I’d be shocked if they didn’t have these guys feuding at some point. I think Sin Cara gets a huge push this year, ends up winning the Royal Rumble and challenges Del Rio, who he’ll probably have already had issues with.

The Undertaker vs. Triple H: Streak vs. Career

I think this will be the year that Triple H puts his career on the line for a chance to end the streak. Their WM 27 match & buildup was similar in style to Taker vs. HBK, and I think H wants to do the same thing that his friend did, if for no other reason than to prove to himself that he can. I don’t think he retires completely if he loses, but I don’t think he wrestles much over the next year anyway.

Money in the Bank: CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, John Morrison, Jack Swagger, Edge, Christian, Evan Bourne, Chris Jericho

I liked WrestleMania more than most people did, but I thought it definitely needed to have a Money in the Bank match. The show just wasn’t the same without it, and I don’t care if the PPV waters down the gimmick or not, WrestleMania needs a spotfest to put a lot of people in. So I put in eight guys typically found in these matches. You can’t tell me this match could possibly suck. I included Jericho as a bit of a ringer…I think he’ll be away most of the year, but will return sometime early in 2012 and get his feet wet with this match.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

I think the next step in Cody getting vengeance against the people who have done him wrong will involve crossing paths with the man that held him down while he was part of Legacy. Their spots in the tag team match on Raw were entertaining, so even if this isn’t their WrestleMania feud I think they will cross paths again at some point this year.

Rey Mysterio & Floyd Mayweather vs. Kane & Big Show

Remember when Rey & Money May were going to be a tag team back at WM 24? I say they do it this year. Floyd already has experience going against Big Show, and I would like to see the Kane Show remain a team and not split up and have bad matches with each other.

Divas’ Championship: Awesome Kong vs. Trish Stratus

I think if I made a list of dream matches with lady wrestlers this just might top the list. Trish always had good matches with girls like Jazz & Victoria that were bigger than her, I can’t imagine what she could do with a real monster like Kong.

Random Divas Tag Team Match: The Bella Twins, Michelle McCool & Rima Fakih vs. Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Layla & AJ Lee

We need a match to get lots of Divas on the show, I think LayCool is breaking up sometime this year, Rima will be on the main roster whether she wins Tough Enough or not, and you can probably replace AJ’s name with the name of a random C-list celebrity. I left Melina out because she’s a lot more entertaining when she’s complaining backstage and getting John Morrison in trouble.

Zack Ryder vs. The Situation

We need to find out who runs the Jersey Shore. WOO WOO WOO YOU KNOW IT.

US Title Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Gets bumped to the pre-show and turned into a battle royal because there are already too many matches. What?

Hall of Fame Class of 2012:

Headliner: “Macho Man” Randy Savage

It’s Florida, the long time home of the Macho Man. It’s time for he & WWE to come together so WWE can honor him the way he deserves to be honored, as the headliner for one of these Hall of Fame ceremonies.

Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard

How long is Ric Flair’s contract with TNA? I think they’re waiting on him to induct these two.

Lex Luger

Lex looked to be in pretty good shape considering everything he had been through over the past decade at the HOF ceremony. Florida is where he got his start as a wrestler, and despite all the flack he’s gotten from people like us over the years, his career deserves recognition.

Ron Simmons

Simmons went to Florida State University and is still one of the greatest football players to wear a Seminole uniform. People thought Atlanta would be the place for him, but Florida is where he first got noticed.

Hiro Matsuda

Hiro was a longtime part of the Championship Wrestling from Florida territory and had a hand in training many of the wrestlers that came through there.

Sable

After Sunny, there was Sable.

Celebrity Wing: Regis Philbin

Regis appeared on WrestleMania VII, and more importantly, has always welcomed wrestling competitors onto his television shows with open arms. I think he’d get a kick out of this honor.

There you have it. I expect none of these matches other than Cena vs. Rock to happen, and none of these people to get inducted into the Hall of Fame now that I’ve mentioned them here. Let us hear your WrestleMania predictions in the comment section, and feel free to speculate on how much beer I had while coming up with mine.

Scorpion’s Smartest Thing of the Week: Creating WrestleMania 28’s Main Event A Year In Advance

It has never been done before, but World Wrestling Entertainment has just run a trial to see if it can indeed pull off a year long build between The Rock and John Cena. The reason this is so smart is that it is one of a very few dream matches able to occur, and it will main event the biggest PPV of the year. With this decision, early WrestleMania tickets will surely sell out and interest in the event will be higher than usual, and it was a good maneuver by McMahon. Whether or not this actual build fizzles out miserably or succeeds beyond our wildest expectations will be settled in April 2012, but for now it is a good way to ensure high ticket sales and a sold-out crowd.

Steve’s Dumbest Thing of the Week: Jim Ross not regularly announcing

While I was watching the last four matches on the WrestleMania card, there was something that stuck out to me as a vast improvement over most WWE matches over the past year or so…the announcing. Specifically, the fact that there was somebody on play by play duties that sounded like they knew what they were talking about. I know the reasons why WWE doesn’t want to use Ross on a regular basis, and he seems ok with coming in occasionally and having more time on his hands to pursue other endeavors, but it strikes me as pretty dumb to have arguably the best announcer their ever was, even if he may be a little bit past his prime, sitting on the sidelines. I don’t see the Los Angeles Dodgers replacing Vin Scully with some yahoo just out of broadcasting school. To make an entertainment comparison, they still have Dick Clark on the New Years’ Rockin’ Eve show. Why isn’t Jim Ross on Raw or Smackdown?

Always Down On Dixie: Jeff Hardy’s Title Run Despite Drug Trial (because it’s a goddamn joke)
By Black Scorpion

Some of you are going to get the wrong impression right off the bat. You’ll claim that I am advocating drug use and for wrestlers to abuse substances because I’m defending the title run of Jeff Hardy. The simple fact of the matter is that it is more of a testament to our poor justice system than to anything involving Jeff Hardy and that because of several key reasons, TNA was actually doing something good for business.

Reason #1: Name Recognition

Obviously Jeff Hardy has a cult following and there are fans who will follow him where-ever he goes, buy his merchandise, rave about him, and generally make him a lot richer. By putting a title belt on Jeff, TNA knew he could bring in fans and he certainly has done so, although sometimes for the wrong reasons. With the slew of controversy involving his exit from WWE to his recent drug trials and tribulations, Jeff is getting people interested enough to tune in to see what he is going to pull next. The result? TNA gets more money, more notice, and therefore higher ratings. It may seem insignificant in comparison to WWE’s ratings, but every bit counts. And for TNA not to utilize Jeff well-meant Matt wouldn’t come, and the Hardy Boys reunion wouldn’t occur. Now, with both brothers, they have the opportunity to unify the team one more time down the line when Jeff is in better shape mentally and legally.

Reason #2: What We Don’t Know

I looked into the public records of Jeff Hardy’s case. And here’s what is currently listed as his offenses:

– Conspiracy to Traffick Opium
– Trafficking in Opium by possession (3 counts)
– Felony Possession of Cocaine
– Felony Maintaining a Dwelling To Keep Controlled Substances
– Misdemeanor – possession of drug paraphernalia

The April 20th case is a special court date – it isn’t advertised on the master calendar. Both sides continue to discuss that a plea bargain is in the works – All that means is that Hardy receives a reduced sentence for a guilty plea.

So why would TNA be so willing to put a championship belt around the waist of someone who may spend over ten years in jail? Maybe its because they know things we, the wrestling fans, do not. There are a lot of examples of people who are famous and get special treatment by the courts; most recently Lindsay Lohan comes to mind. It isn’t uncommon for offenses that would get most of us five years of jail or more to end up a “probation” or community service sentence for celebrities.

The simple fact of the matter is that we have NO IDEA what exactly is going on – TNA does. Hardy’s lawyer does. They aren’t allowed to speak about it, but the fact that he’s allowed to compete internationally says that this case isn’t going to be taken seriously, since it has been ongoing since September 2009. And as most of us already know, nothing has been done beyond postponing the court date over and over again.

I believe TNA has reason to believe this case will not result in incarceration, or else they’d not be willing to hand the title over to Jeff when he could be arrested at any time.

Reason #3: What We Do Know

Lindsay Lohan pleaded guilty to misdemeanor cocaine use and driving under the influence on August 23, 2007. Her sentence? One day in prison and ten days community service, along with a three-year probation and required to attend alcohol management classes. She blew off meetings for her DUI classes and on May 24, 2010 she was ordered to attend weekly alcohol education classes and wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet, among other things. She was later sentenced to 90 days in jail and served 14 days only. She’s currently free waiting on charges of felony grand theft.

How many of us would get the same ridiculously light treatment? The one thing Lindsay and Jeff have in common are that they are celebrities and appeal to kids, at least at one time. We know the criminal justice system allows people like Jeff to do whatever they want with little to no consequences, and it isn’t fair. Obviously, Jeff and his lawyer must be laughing the days away knowing what the deal most likely will end up being, and I can nearly guarantee it won’t involve him stepping foot in a prison cell. TNA, knowing how people treat celebrities, knew Jeff was in no real danger of getting imprisoned and therefore proceeded as normal.

Reason #4: Controversy Creates Cash

More than just Eric Bischoff’s book title, the phrase is truth. People wanted to know what was going to happen: half to laugh at Jeff being found guilty, and half praying he was let off easy. The fact that all of this was ongoing only brought in more people, more ratings, and more interest in finding out the end result. Now, by bringing up Jeff’s shameful Victory Road performance, they are even making his real life situation into a storyline that they are profiting from. People blame TNA for this, despite being the ones spending time and money to find out what is going to happen! Again, TNA is not squeaky clean but there are worse culprits, for sure.

In the end, it comes down to this: We don’t know everything that goes on in Moore County, North Carolina. TNA can act on information it has that we do not, and things we can only guess at. I have no doubt they know the eventual outcome of this case and the plea bargain details, and therefore have been using Hardy accordingly until his Victory Road falling off the wagon incident. Again, I am not saying Hardy is right or TNA is innocent in this, but it wouldn’t be the first incident in which a wrestling company has allowed an impaired performer to compete. Although Jeff needs to get clean and fast to save his future, don’t blame TNA for letting the guy wrestle. Blame the courts for letting people like Jeff get off easy while the rest of us get the book thrown at us for the same offense.

SC: I think everybody already knows how I feel about this after the months and months it‘s been going on & I‘ve been writing about it, and I’m in too good a mood to spend any time writing about a Hardy. It’s the weekend, for heaven’s sake! Let’s move on to something more upbeat, shall we?

By Steve Cook

This week’s edition of Tough Enough was most peoples’ first introduction to a man known in the independent wrestling circuit as Matt Cross. Matt has been wrestling for ten years now and has worked his way up to WWE from being a backyard wrestler. Yes, it can be done. He first grabbed the attention of indy fans with his matches against & alongside fellow backyarder turned trained wrestler Josh Prohibition. Here’s a match pitting them against a tag team that was a big part of early Ring of Honor cards:

M-Dogg 20 & Josh Prohibition vs. The Ring Crew Express

Matt was a gymnast before getting into wrestling, and this training allows him to do crazy stuff that you typically don’t see from sports entertainers. John Morrison may have a challenger to his title of “WWE guy that can do the most ridiculous stuff”. Sometimes it’s a little too contrived-looking for my taste, but I can’t deny that he has a lot of ability in the ring. Cross was part of Ring of Honor during various periods in the 2006-2008 timeframe, and was previously on national cable television when he teamed with Teddy Hart as “The Filth & The Fury” in Wrestling Society X.

Here’s a match with Cross early on in his ROH tenure, taking on one of their biggest stars:

Matt Cross vs. Christopher Daniels

I would be surprised if Matt was a big part of the drama portion of Tough Enough. He is straight edge, and if he stays true to the personality that people say that he has, he’ll be more concerned with training & working out than trying to get with the female contestants or starting fights with the other men on the show. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I see him sticking around for most of the season and wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up winning…even if he is a few inches shorter than WWE likes.

I would suggest a pairing with fellow straight-edge indy hero CM Punk, but I’ve seen what happens to people that align themselves with Punk in WWE.

Old School Wrestler of the Week: Hacksaw Jim Duggan

SC: This week we take a look at a man that was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame last week, Hacksaw Jim Duggan. I watched a lot of Hacksaw while I was growing up, as he was one of the people on TV every week squashing ham n’ eggers with his three-point stance and his 2X4. Duggan was always rather popular with crowds, and I think he got the second biggest reception out of all the Hall of Famers at WrestleMania. That HBK guy got the biggest, of course. I think a lot of it had to do with his 2X4 wearing a tuxedo.

Thing is, I never really got the appeal. Yeah, he was a big tough guy and beat people up, but who wasn’t a big tough guy that beat people up in the WWF at that time? I wanted to talk some Hacksaw this week so I could get a different perspective on him and maybe understand his popularity, and as usual, the Black Scorpion does not disappoint…

Scorpion’s Take:

Hacksaw Jim Duggan, believe it or not, was actually a main eventer and champion before he came to the WWF. Duggan was big in the UWF, even becoming their world champion as a heel, before eventually departing for bigger checks and more opportunity under Vince McMahon’s company. Duggan was always known as being a patriot, defending America against all the foreign gimmicks at the time that were against America such as Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Sheik, Cuban Assassin, and many others. But, everybody already knows so much about Duggan I’d rather focus on the areas of his career not everybody has discussed.

Duggan was old school, although he’d last into the 1990’s as a fully active competitor. Duggan joined WCW for the higher pay and less work schedule, as most of the 1980’s WWF talent did, and mostly portrayed the same character until one night that changed his career in a way that actually was quite well done.

It was 1998 when Duggan was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and managed to beat it through early detection and aggressive treatment. Duggan would preach early cancer detection in the ring in various interviews, and eventually step into the ring against a heel Bill Goldberg, who beat him violently. After a Spear to the back, Duggan was carted out on a stretcher while fans chanted for Goldberg’s actions. Duggan would end up joining, of all factions, Team Canada when he assisted Lance Storm against Hugh Morrus, who was then known as General Hugh Rection. Duggan explained he joined Team Canada because the fans booed him and cheered on his attacker after all the years of service he gave America, and after he returned from cancer he viewed the fans as ungrateful – but Team Canada liked him and supported him. He competed clean-shaven, ditched his trademark American flag and 2×4, and sang the Canadian national anthem. After a good start with the group, Duggan would accidentally cost them match after match, which led Team Canada to question his loyalty and eventually beat him down and exile him from the group at Starrcade 2000. Unfortunately, Duggan wouldn’t have much longer to compete as WCW would end up purchased by WWF early in the next year and Duggan went to the independents before his eventual return to the now-renamed WWE.

Duggan was remarkable in the fact he never won a single championship in the WWE despite being there for years. Duggan did manage to win the very first Royal Rumble in 1988, when it consisted of twenty wrestlers and was not broadcast as a PPV. Duggan also defeated King Haku to become one of four “Kings” of the WWF, a distinction that was not recognized as a title by the WWF. Ironically, both the Rumble and King of the Ring would go on to become PPV events after mostly being untelevised (in KOTR’s case, for years) and Duggan would never capture the big victory in either once they became a PPV.

Although Jim Duggan didn’t score many titles and mostly was used as a midcard and/or comedy talent throughout WWF and WCW, Duggan managed to be one of the more famous wrestlers who were instantly recognized by fans throughout the world.

SC: It’s confession time for your humble correspondent…I have never seen a Mid-South Duggan match. It’s true. I’ve heard some good things about his work there, but I’ve never seen it so I can’t speak on it. My favorite memory of him in the WWF, honestly, was when Yokozuna repeatedly Banzai Dropped him on Superstars. It was a great angle that seemed 100% legit in the eyes of an eight year old, and made Yokozuna look like a top contender to the WWF title. Hacksaw deserves some credit for that…though, honestly, I was rooting for Yoko.

Yeah, Hacksaw was all about yelling USA USA USA, but I thought he was the third most patriotic wrestler in the WWF at best, behind Sgt. Slaughter & Hulk Hogan. How’s a big guy with a 2X4 supposed to compare to a U.S. Marine & the Hulkster? I also didn’t like it when he’d start the USA chant in matches with other Americans. Shawn Michaels is from San Antonio, which last I checked is still part of America. How’s chanting “USA” at him supposed to have any effect?

(Not that I’d be surprised if Texas seceded one of these days, but that’s another topic for another time & another venue.)

Then he went to WCW and did the same thing he did in the WWF for a long time. Even as a ten year old, I knew it was complete nonsense when he beat Steve Austin for the US title at Fall Brawl in something like thirty seconds. I think his WCW highlights were the following. Scorpion mentioned most of his later WCW run, and I was glad that he beat cancer. I liked his run with Team Canada, and it was pretty shameful that WCW fans chanted for the sort-of evil Goldberg against him.

Then after WCW shut down, he went away for awhile. There was that funny deal where Ohio-area wrestling promoter Dave Nelson said he was going nationwide with the WWWA, and it was going to have a deal with ESPN2 & Hacksaw was going to be one of their big names and part of their board of directors. Neither ESPN nor Hacksaw had any idea what he was talking about, and the group disappeared not long afterwards. I remember Ron Gamble was pretty into this group, so it must have been disappointing for him to see what happened.

And we can’t have a discussion of Hacksaw without going back to 1987 and mentioning the time that he & Iron Sheik got busted while driving under the influence of various drugs. The worst part of all that (other than the whole “risking peoples’ lives” thing) was that they were feuding on television at the time, and that ended up being one of the nails in the coffin of kayfabe. That’s right, we can blame ol’ Hacksaw for killing kayfabe.

The following video is one of my favorite online wrestling video clips, and Bobby Heenan’s reaction to Tony Schiavone calling Hacksaw a very intelligent man was pretty similar to my reaction when I heard him say that. As an added bonus, there’s a Glacier promo before the match! Man, I miss WCW.