Wrestling’s 4R’s 05.30.11: Superstars, Impact and Smackdown Reviewed

In HD where available…

By: Jeremy Thomas

iMpact! 05.26.11:

QUICK RESULTS:
AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels def. Tommy Dreamer & Bully Ray [**]
Jeff Jarrett def. Matt Morgan [* ½]
Abyss def. Brian Kendrick [* ½]
Kurt Angle def. Rob Van Dam [** ¾]

TOMMY DREAMER & BULLY RAY vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & AJ STYLES: Impact started off with a tag team match instead of the typical opening segment promo. Nice way for them to make the point that Impact is about wrestling, not talking. This of course was playing to the AJ/Bully and Dreamer feud and AJ came out with a neck brace on “against doctor’s orders.” This was a street fight and went into chaos right away. I have a bit of issue with one thing right away and that is how a guy with a supposedly neck injury was able to control Tommy fresh into his heel turn; it’s a good example of why the Dreamer turn won’t work. On the other hand, it was nice to see Daniels looking competitive in there against Bully Ray who not long ago was wrestling in the main event. As street fights go this wasn’t bad at all; they had a lot of chaos and a fair amount of weapon use, and AJ sold for Bully and Tommy well once his neck caught up with him. This was a fairly short match but a good one as far as TV hardcore matches go and outside of the issues I mentioned, it worked pretty well. Good way to kick off the show.

BEER MONEY’s TITLE DEFENSE WOES: Midway through the show, we learned that Robert Roode’s arm was “injured” at the hands of Immortal and such he wasn’t going to be cleared for another three weeks. Bischoff played it off like he needed to know if Roode would be ready by next week and then went full asshole. I kind of liked him calling Storm a hillbilly prophet. It was assholish and mocking, and using their catchphrase against them was cute too. Storm’s response was a little weak, and I don’t know where they’re going with this, but this wasn’t bad.

MICKIE JAMES vs. WINTER: There was a little lesbionic segment with Winter and Angelina before this match that apparently dates back centuries. Okay, so we’re getting into past lives, sure. I will say that the chemistry between Winter and Angelina is improving, and Angelina is getting better and better at being Zombelina. The match itself was something I was looking forward to, being a fan of both women. The two ladies worked off each other very well; I think that having Winter wrestle with lace over her eyes is stupid, but they worked well even with that being the case. This was a very short match but what we saw was good; I would have no problem with them wrestling a longer match down the line. This was intended to build heat for Angelina vs. Mickie and it did that fine, with some decent wrestling for what little we got to boot. Nothing wrong with that.

KURT ANGLE vs. ROB VAN DAM: I liked the way they built this up. They did a couple “Wrestling Matters” promos and really made this seem special. Some people will complain that they wasted this first-ever match on free TV, but there’s nothing wrong with that in this case as the more important thing they had to put over was the idea that “Wrestling Matters.” This felt like a big match and it sold the concept and direction, which is more important than individual Pay-Per-Views. Now, if they can only follow through on the rest of the show they might have something.

Obviously, Kurt and RVD can both go in the ring in a big way so I was looking forward to this. It started off slowly but picked up quickly enough and I thought it went fairly well. It wasn’t a PPV-quality match by any definition but it was good for a free TV main event, and the two had a decent chemistry in the ring. The Jarretts were okay at the announcing booth, though the split-screen took focus off the match and I felt that was unnecessary. Minor gripe though; the match played out well and of course Kurt, being in the #1 contender match at Slammiversary, got the win. But RVD didn’t look terrible either. This did exactly what it needed to do and it played well as a main event, even if it wasn’t the “Wrestling Matters” moment they were hoping for.

JEFF JARRETT vs. MATT MORGAN: Morgan was Angle’s choice for Jarrett’s opponent this week and we had a brief but decent bit before the match where Kurt gave Matt some advice about watching out for Karen. I question the need to put the supposedly-injured woman over as a threat to main eventers, but it’s a minor quibble. I was interested to see how these guys would work against each other and as it turned out…not particularly great. It wasn’t a bad match by any respect, but the match just didn’t seem to have a lot of flow or story to it. It seemed more like a series of random moves strung together and that hurt the match. There was also too much focus on Karen and it took the focus away from the Wrestling, which of course is supposed to be the focus of the show. Steiner’s run in was no surprise and it worked for what it needed to be, but this match was sort of lackluster.

NETWORK vs. IMMORTAL CONTINUES: At the end of the first hour and the beginning of the second, we had Eric Bischoff coming down to crow about Hogan topping Foley in meetings with the Network. Bischoff’s promo was decent enough before Hogan came down; it was his typical jackass shtick and that worked fine. Hogan was in a good mood and played off the crowd before hopping on the mic and delivered a very standard Hogan promo. That’s not a bad thing of course, but it did feel very “same old, same old.” It didn’t help that Hogan basically said it was going to be same old, same old or that he buried the X-Division as much as Bischoff and company did last week. They’re supposed to be the guys doing this and that’s fine as long as they get their comeuppance. Enter Mick, who talked up all the things that the wrestling fans want and are looking for from TNA. Foley announced Ultimate X, which should certainly be interesting if they book it right. Of course, that’s the question…can they book it right? I’m certainly hopeful, but we’ll see.

Ultimately for tonight, this led into Hogan trying to book Foley into an X-Division Title Match. Instead, we got Kendrick coming down and spouting off some stupid rhymes with too many unnecessary SAT words. He did better when he was working directly off Hogan and got his shot at the title, claiming it was his “destiny.” This was very problematic at times but it wasn’t a total loss and it set up the X-Division Title match for the night well enough.

BRIAN KENDRICK vs. ABYSS: We had a brief promo by Abyss about the Art of War and the X-Division being about no limits before Kaz beat the snot out of him and took his nailbat to even the odds. I expected this match to honestly be a complete squash match, but Kendrick got in a bit of early offense here, but obviously you knew that Kendrick wasn’t winning this though, and he certainly didn’t. He sold like a champ for Abyss to no surprise. This was the most obvious squash match of the night, though Kendrick was played up as a plucky underdog pretty decently. There wasn’t a ton of goodness to the match but it wasn’t atrocious either. It was just…there.

SCORPION SITDOWN: Yeah, you knew this was going to go wacky after last week. They called this the “Scorpion Sitdown” as if it was going to be a sit-down interview with Sting, but it was Mr. Anderson in the Surfer Sting get-up again. You’d think that the announcers would have confirmed this kind of thing. Anderson had some fun bashing on “himself” as Sting at first…then he brought out no less than Disco Inferno. I think Taz said it best when he said, “where did they dust this guy off from?” Don’t get me wrong folks, I loved Disco from his WCW days. But he’s hardly the first guy I think of when I think of “compadres of Sting” and it was a bit underwhelming.

That being said, I thought that this worked…okay at best. Anderson can play an asshole well—obviously—and Inferno did well on the mic here. But the constant interruptions earlier on got annoying after the first one, and it only stabilized a bit when Disco got his chance to speak. The other problem was that Anderson came off way more petulant than he’s been so far. He was, to put it bluntly, a whiny little bitch. It was nice to hear Disco call him a dick, but it also brings out the point that Anderson got schooled on the mic by a guy who’s beyond past his prime. The attack helped Anderson some, but otherwise I thought this just didn’t work the way they wanted to. It was a noble attempt but horribly misguided and frankly botched.

VELVET WANTS ANSWERS: So Velvet Sky switched her feud from Angelina and Winter to ODB after ODB’s return and assault on Velvet last week. This was a basic promo of Velvet wanting answers and ODB coming down to giving them. It was a bit underwhelming for ODB to come down without music, but okay. The gist here is that ODB blamed Velvet for her getting fired and Velvet was all “screw that, I’ve earned my spot here.” I don’t really see how the two relate. This degenerated into ODB saying that Velvet slept her way into her job and then beating her ass. This just didn’t play as well as they wanted to, I think; it wasn’t terrible but this just came across as Velvet getting her ass handed to her by yet another Knockout and hurt her credibility more than it helped ODB. Sorry, I’m not down with that. I’m willing to see how this plays out but this was not a well-executed start to the feud.

ERIC YOUNG vs. GUNNER: Our weekly interaction between Eric Young and Gunner this week resulted in Eric Young interrupting Gunner’s defecation time so he could point out the difference between the colors of their belts. Wow. Young offered to get Gunner a promotion to “second in command” in Immortal. Yeah, because EY has such stroke. Listen, we get it; Young is up for comedy stuff. The comedy has to be FUNNY for it to work, and the stuff they put Eric Young’s through is flat-out not funny.

Then we got the match. And by match, I mean “match.” This was nothing in terms of being a match, it was a Fingerpoke into a surprise roll-up for the pinfall and the TV Title win. Kudos for Young to pull off the sneaky win, but there wasn’t much to this and I always worry when a belt is put on a comedy guy because it doesn’t do anyone any good. I didn’t like this.

By: Tony Acero

Superstars 5.26.11:

QUICK RESULTS
– Santino Marella Defeated Zack Ryder [**1/2]
– Curt Hawkins Defeated JTG [**1/2]
– Tyson Kidd Defeated Trent Barreta [***]

SANTINO vs. RYDER: Aside from the fact that Ryder lost the match, it was rather enjoyable. The humor between the bells was awesome and hilarious. The Cobra to the legs of Ryder made me laugh even if it was ridiculous. Behind the cloak of humor we had an actual well put together match between Santino and Mr. Woo x’s 3! Man that loss really does bug me, though…

TYSON KIDD vs. TRENT BARETTA: Check out Estrada! It’s a shame Hayes couldn’t stick around, but I’ll take Estrada….even if his accent is gone :(. We already know what to expect from these two in the ring so it’s no surprise that this week was just as good. The match was another slow build performance of goodness similar to their last couple of matches, but just different enough to make me enjoy it and, honestly, if it wasn’t then it would still be a hell of a match.

HAWKINS vs. JTG: The match itself was good enough, I just…STILL have no emotional investment in these two and that automatically drops this down, sorry. However, somewhere in the middle of the match both men hit a stride that changed the match from mediocre to just above it! We also have to give credit to Standford for selling the match just right and the elbow drop finish which is only fitting considering recent happenings.

NOTHING

NOTHING

By: Tony Acero

Smackdown! 5.28.11:

QUICK RESULTS
– Sin Cara Defeated Chavo Guerrero [**1/2]
– Daniel Bryan Defeated Cody Rhodes [***1/2]
– Ezekiel Jackson Defeated Heath Slater [1/2*]
– Kane Defeated The Great Khali [NR]
– Alicia Fox and Tamina Defeated AJ and Kaitlyn [*]
– Sheamus Defeated Christian and Mark Henry [***]

AJ!!!: While Steve Cook is celebrating his birthday in a bath full of whiskey and prescription drugs, I get to enjoy the little love button that is AJ!!! I know it’s Cook’s birthday and all, but I like to think that I came out on top with being able to see the future Mrs. Acero on television! I hope this means she’ll be coming to my screen full time! The match was craptastic but this isn’t going anywhere but Right with the presence of AJ!

OPENING PROMO: My immediate thought here is that I have seen this all before. Sheamus, Henry, Orton and Christian talk only for Teddy to come out? I have to admit, however, that each man had a strong outing on the microphone and kept things interesting. The opening segment was meant to set up the main event and did a good job in doing so.

SIN CARA vs. CHAVO: The botch free version of their match at Over the Limit was fun, as expected. Chavo got a bit more offense than the PPV showing which made the match seem more balanced. Although the storyline was somewhat abrupt, it’s been built well. I appreciate Chavo’s continued dedication to any storyline he’s given and it’s obvious he’s enjoying this program with Sin Cara much more than the whole Hornswoggle debacle over on NXT. One of my major complaints of the match at OtL was the fact that Sin Cara didn’t sell anything and he changed that a bit this week so I applaud him for that.

CODY RHODES: Each week, Steve Cook praises Rhodes to no end. He claims that Cody continually impresses him. My blurb here will be no different as Cody has grown into a weekly necessity for me on the Blue Brand. The baggers, the jacket, it’s all added to his character. His continued Joker-esque promos are better and better! This week, we had him praying for attractive people, something I tend to do every now and then. I’m not sure where he’s heading in terms of a feud, but regardless of who it is it’s sure to be a hell of a good time.

Now we move to the match with Daniel Bryan. I’m not sure where they are going with Bryan getting the win, but I’m ok with it considering Cody is a heel that’s hell-bent on something other than winning. His post match beat down was also effective. If Bryan and Cody are setting something up for the future, I’m excited. These two are bringing the wrestling back to Smackdown – something they’ve had, of course, but which has also been lacking at times.

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEWS: Throughout the course of the show, we got interviews with each of the three contestants and Orton in regards to the Main Event. Each person had powerful statements just as they did in the opening, and it only added to the main event. Very powerful yet small things that were added to the show to make it a very strong showcase.

MAIN EVENT GOODNESS: Mark Henry has proven time and time again that he can be a very vital and useful member in any feud, particularly in the Main Event. Another Sheamus vs. Orton feud doesn’t hold my interest at all, but I’m assuming Christian will be doing something soon so I’ll hold my tongue until something happens. I also feel this is going to be short lived as the title match is already next week. The match was as fun as triple threats can get. With a lot of pin breaks and double teaming. It’s interesting to note that I’d never really want to see a Sheamus vs. Henry match, but adding Christian into the fold makes it an automatically more fun match to watch as proven by this match.

NOTHING

HEATH vs. BIG ZEKE: They get points for storyline progression, but the match sucked. We also can see where this is most likely going, with Zeke fighting each member of The Corre until Capitol Punishment for the possible rematch or something of that ilk. Heath Slater was my least favorite rookie of NXT and he’s now my least favorite member of The Corre so seeing him in the ring wasn’t appealing in the least. Zeke is improving, but minutely.

THE MONSTERS BRAWL: What can you really expect from these two? The post match antics were ok as it appears Khali has a new buddy. If anything, Mahal will bring some intrigue back to the big goon, but the match between Kane and Khali was three minutes of crap (did someone say…three minutes?!)

COLE’S REDEMPTION: What was the point of this? It was great hearing Booker’s
music again, but there was really nothing to this other than another reason to show the picture of Cole. Seriously, every time I think this shit is over they bring it up again for whatever reason. Let this DIE!!!!

PRESIDENT’S CONFERENCE: I’m sorry but this just isn’t funny. Coor’s Light and the Coach commercials are hit or miss, which is what I’m assuming they’ve lifted this idea from, but this here is all miss. It’s worse that the announcers have to try and sell this as “hilarious.” I get the theme of Capitol Punishment but this is one hell of a stretch.

Until Friday, keep on kickin’ it!

…and remember to stay grounded!