The Contentious Ten 07.04.11: Guilty Pleasures

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Gang Warfare size=6>

I’ve always been a sucker for stables battling each other, even if it was the Disciples of the Apocalypse against The Nation of Domination or Los Boricuas. It’s a great way to give guys on a bloated roster something to do who wouldn’t otherwise be on a Raw, Nitro or Impact card. Back in 2009, TNA started to bring it back with teams like The Main Event Mafia, The Frontline and World Elite. I remember on one episode of Impact, they broke out in a huge brawl that went all over the inside and outside of the arena. It was met with some negative reviews, but it was different, and I enjoyed it. Not only that, but it breaks up the monotony of Wrestler A feuding with Wrestler B. If successful, a “gang” can even provide an avenue for each character within the group to develop unique individual personalities, and eventually break out of their own. It can become cliche and overdone at times, but under the right circumstances, warring gangs of wrestlers can make for some fun television.

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Smackdown Champion JBL size=6>

Seven years ago, John Bradshaw Layfield began a near one-year long WWE Championship reign that dominated a lot of the 2004 season of Smackdown. Before that period, I never bought JBL as a main guy in the company. He was good for a fun backstage segment, or a decent tag team match as part of the Acolytes, but not much more. I didn’t dislike the character, but I wasn’t exactly pro-Bradshaw either. His championship run on Smackdown really opened my eyes to how good he could be when given the chance to shine. His promos were always terrific, his character was a classic heel that always got away by the skin of his teeth and he led what I thought was a serviceable stable in The Cabinet. Many argue that he should have never held on to the championship for that long, or that he shouldn’t have been champion to begin with, but I found myself entertained by it. He became one of the most hated heels of his time period- largely thanks to his fantastic feud with Eddie Guerrero- and managed to change many people’s perception of him. That’s not an easy thing to do, so I’ll give credit where credit is due.

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Battle of the Behemoths size=6>

I love me some good old monster matches. Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd, Vader vs. Stan Hansen, Big Show vs. Kane, Mark Henry vs. Kane- I don’t know exactly what it is about a clash between two behemoths, but I usually find myself entertained by it. Growing up, I was always fascinated by characters like Godzilla and King Kong, so I suppose I can attribute my liking of this type of wrestling to that. Keep in mind, I know I’m not going to get a classic wrestling match; to be honest, a lot of the big man stuff is pretty bad from a straight-up wrestling standpoint, but that isn’t the point of them. The point is to showcase two extraordinarily large monsters going against and pummeling each other. I don’t expect shooting star presses, enzuigiris or even armdrags. It’s a different aspect of wrestling that’s always been there from the days of Gorilla Monsoon, and something you can’t find many other places. It’s a spectacle, and definitely has its own merit.

Yeah, this song is pretty awesome.

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Ahmed Johnson size=6>

Ahmed Johnson was a scary, scary dude. He had an incredible presence, and gave off a very intimidating vibe. With that came the belief that he could legitimately beat the hell out of you, and it worked in his favor to get him over with crowds and eventually go on to become the first ever black Intercontinental Champion. A lot of people look back on him without much positivity- just a big muscular guy who ultimately became a flop due to his lack of skill. I have to disagree. Heading into 1996, the fledging WWF needed a guy like Ahmed Johnson- a legit badass who didn’t need a gimmicky character or costume. He was one of their more realistic, modern characters, and considering the WCW was about to go full force on the nWo angle, that was crucial. Not to mention, his intensity was off the charts. There haven’t been too many characters since that have been able to match that intensity. It’s the reason certain attempts to recreate that character haven’t panned out like expected. You look at guys like Bobby Lashley and Ezekiel Jackson- both are big, intimidating beasts, but they haven’t been able to match up to Ahmed in terms of connecting with a crowd. It’s a shame that he was so injury prone, because he could have easily become a much bigger name in wrestling.

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Don West size=6>

Ah yes, the excitable Don West. I grew to appreciate West over the years, and can admire his efforts to steadily better himself over time. Sure, he would always shout, and not everything that came out of his mouth made sense, but you could tell that he had a passion for TNA and for wrestling. He never tried to one-up Mike Tenay or put himself over the talent in the ring. He understood his role as a color commentator, and didn’t try to be something he wasn’t. By the same token, he knew what kind of reputation he had developed, and I believe that helped him strive to improve. You can tell when a commentator isn’t fully invested in the product and is sort of sleepwalking through the show, but that was never the case with West. His commentary always gave the TNA broadcasts a personality; something I still feel it has been lacking since Taz replaced him. No offense to Taz, but I would rather have West sitting alongside Mike Tenay at the announce booth. At least they are making good use of his selling skills on the road during house shows, as his ability to push a product is never lost on those in attendance. I’d imagine he has helped tremendously in increasing TNA merchandise sales.

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Blood Runs Cold size=6>

I love Mortal Kombat, and I love professional wrestling- why the hell wouldn’t I love Mortis, Glacier and Wrath? Well, I didn’t love Glacier, but Mortis was awesome. When I was younger, I remember buying a WCW Best of Halloween Havoc video simply because it had a picture of Mortis on the back. You could imagine my disappointment when Mortis wasn’t even featured in the video- I was crushed! I have always had a soft spot for these guys. Not only were their characters and costumes cool, but they put together some great matches. I remember this one match Mortis had against Booker T where Booker ended up hitting a powerbomb off the middle rope and Mortis landed on his neck. He was fine, but it was a scary moment to be sure. Then they had all those tag matches pitting Mortis and Wrath against Glacier and Ernest Miller. They were different because it wasn’t the main event nWo style, and it wasn’t the flashy Cruiserweight style. They carved out their own place in the mid-card for some time, and never failed to keep me entertained. Mortis would eventually unmask and become Chris Kanyon while Wrath would find success as one half of Kronic, but I still prefer their work from the Blood Runs Cold storyline.

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Tertiary Championships size=6>

One of the main arguments against tertiary championships like the Television and European straps is that they take away from the importance of both the secondary and World Championships. I tend to disagree with that, because if you establish the World Championship as every wrestler’s main goal, then there should be no problem in setting varying levels of stepping stones for them to eventually reach that goal. Tertiary championships give the lower card guys something to strive for, and if used properly, are a great tool to slowly build someone up. They also help to give what would otherwise be an ordinary singles match with no repercussions some more meaning. There is something at stake, so the match becomes that much more important. Also, just as is the case with the aforementioned “gang warfare,” they help to give more guys TV time, and a chance to develop their character in front of larger audiences. There are a ton of guys in the WWE right now that are wandering around aimlessly, competing on Superstars on a weekly basis because the writers have nothing else for them- Drew McIntyre, Chris Masters, Tyson Kidd, Trent Barreta, David Hart Smith, the list goes on and on. A tertiary championship could be one way to go in amending that.

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Purple Taker size=6>

Yes, the 1994-1996 purple-gloved version of The Undertaker was somewhat campy and didn’t exactly produce five-star classics, but I thought it was great. He first debuted the look when he returned to face off against the imposter Undertaker at Summerslam 1994. The imposter came out first in the typical grey gloves and boots, but was followed by the real Undertaker in the new and improved purple variant. Granted, it was the Undertaker that I was initially introduced to, so I will obviously look back on it through rose-colored sunglasses. Now that we’re on the subject, he was the character that got me hooked on professional wrestling to begin with. I distinctly remember channel surfing and coming across a menacing guy in a black robe slowly making his entrance to the ring. I was mesmerized by it, and immediately got a piece of paper and pencil to write down the station and time- I wanted to watch more. So, while this time period is often considered a down time in quality for the WWF, I have fond memories of it, especially purple Taker.

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Wrestling size=6>

I know that this is a list about guilty pleasures in wrestling, and this might be cheating, but wrestling itself is in fact my biggest guilty pleasure of all. I’m sure I’m not the only one either, as most wrestling fans tend to hide the fact that they love it. If they don’t hide it, then they certainly don’t flaunt it. I mean, how often do you see a guy wearing a wrestling-themed t-shirt in public? I’d love to come across more, but it’s very rare. I will admit though, I love listening to people randomly start talking about wrestling. I remember sitting with a group of people one day, and one of them said something like, “Hey, you guys remember Vince McMahon? He was the owner of wrestling.” It started a small conversation on Steve Austin and Rock and how awesome it used to be, so there are always those small moments, but nothing beyond that. That’s why going to a wrestling show can be somewhat surreal- watching these flocks of wrestling fans emerging out of the darkest corners of the city, and coming together to cheer and boo the wrestlers they love and hate in person, rather than from their living room couch. Wrestling, without a doubt, is my number one guilty pleasure.