411 Fact or Fiction 12.29.11: Cena vs. Kane, Ryder & Eve, Maria, More

1. WWE shouldn’t give up on CM Punk despite some low ratings numbers.

Jeffrey Harris: FACT. The low numbers aren’t CM Punk’s fault. CM Punk captured lighting in a bottle last summer and gave it to WWE on a silver platter. The WWE sacrificed that in order to run some stupid angle to shove more HHH down our throats and to continue to ruin what was wrestling’s hottest period of the year and spoiled the Second Summer of Punk. We were also forced to endure more atrocities involving Kevin Nash in the ring. HHH refused to put Punk over clean as well. Punk is one of the few good things about WWE TV. WWE creative became so reliant on the Cena’s and Orton’s of the company that they failed to big up proper challengers and new main eventers. And it seems when they finally get that, they mess it up like they have with Punk. You can’t have it both ways. And the over-reliance on guys like Cena clearly takes its toll on the guy whose body is getting more and more tore up as time goes on. CM Punk is professional wrestling.

Chris Lansdell: FICTION. Oh good, is it that time of year again? The time when we make baseless speculation on what the company will or will not do based on the ratings they are getting and who the champion is? I say they should not give up on Punk but that’s with a couple of caveats. First I’m a huge Punk mark and I always want to see him being at the top of the card. Second if they can prove that Punk is the reason for the decline and not something else, then they really DO need to change things up. WWE TV is starting to get good again and I’m getting back to enjoying it, but if history has shown us anything it’s that entertaining smarks is often inversely proportional to ratings success. The masses don’t like what we like folks, and whether we like it or not the masses are what drive revenues.

With that said, I think the danger of anyone giving up on Punk is slim. They re-signed him to a deal because they believed in him. They had him at the top of the card for the important fall season, and they did that because he is popular. I would not be surprised if the drop in ratings is more due to Cena’s place on the card than Punk’s. He’s guaranteed to keep his nose clean, he can make anyone look good in the ring and he’s equally good as face or heel. You don’t “give up” on someone like that. Well, you shouldn’t.

Score: 1 for 1

2. CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler on next week’s Raw will be a TV MOTYC.

Jeffrey Harris: FICTION. Nope. They just had a TV match and it was hardly MOTYC quality. Ziggler is a decent worker, but he’s just another above average performer that will never be to the level of the likes of CM Punk, The Rock, Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, and Stone Cold Steve Austin. For starters, he needs to stop tanning in whatever tanning booth he uses. His orange tan looks ridiculous. And if that’s a WWE rule that wrestlers have to tan, it’s a ridiculous one. I understand they don’t want to look ghostly pale under the bright lights, but dang. Second of all, the best free TV match of the year will be my boy D-Bry defending his world title for the first time ever against The Big Show or Mark Henry. Why? It’s Daniel Bryan aka The American Dragon Bryan Danielson defending his world title on Smackdown which automatically makes it better than Punk/Ziggler. Does anyone remember Danielson’s match with John Cena on Velocity? You can actually find that Danielson would randomly lay out that entire match in some of his various classic bouts on the indy scene and ROH.

Chris Lansdell: FICTION. You’re asking me if a match taking place on the second day of the year (and my birthday) between an excellent worker and a very good one will hold up in a year’s time and surpass all the other matches on TV in 2012? No. No it will not. I doubt it will even be in the running for TV match of the first 6 months of the year. Ring of Honor is on TV again, Daniel Bryan looks set to feud with Cody Rhodes at some point and TNA is still capable of blowing us away with sheer match quality from time to time. I honestly feel this one ends in a screwjob or no-finish, maybe involving a run-in from whoever the mystery vignettes are for. Or Brodus Clay, presuming those two aren’t the same person. Punk-Ziggler will probably be the main event feud leading up to WrestleMania so they are not going to blow that on free TV when everyone watching is dreading the return to work the next day. With Del Rio injured, Miz and Kane both otherwise engaged and Swagger irrelevant, they don’t exactly have a choice in the matter.

Score: 2 for 2

3. You’re interested in the John Cena vs. Kane feud.

Jeffrey Harris: FACT. It’s got my interest for now. I like the new revamped look for Kane. I like that Kane has targeted Cena. But hopefully it goes somewhere interesting and isn’t just Kane constantly jobbing to Cena as what usually happens whenever Cena feuds with a big monster. See Cena’s feuds with Umaga and Khali where Cena blatantly lies on TV about having 30 minute matches with Umaga that weren’t even over 20 minutes.

Chris Lansdell: FICTION times infinity. I haven’t been interested in anything Kane has done in many years. The character is stale, his vulnerability level fluctuates wildly, he’s had more face-heel turns than a dude with a trample fetish and his age is really showing in his performance. Then there was that ridiculously bad promo at the end of Raw on Monday. Apart from attempting to cast Firespout on Cena (oooh we have our magical powers back, do we Kaney-Waney? How grand!), he proceded to cut a promo where he sounded like a cross between Val Venis and Captain James T Kirk. Then Kane, the de facto heel in this feud, tried to lead the crowd in a chant. Now that last part worked well as they were in one of the “smark cities” for Raw, but when that promo is replayed over and over during the feud that point won’t matter and won’t be mentioned.

I like Cena. He works hard, does what he’s asked to do and is very good at it. The desire of certain fans to hate him for his success doesn’t appear to faze him and in my book that warrants respect. My lack of interest in this feud is purely on the shoulders of the Big Red Monster, and I’m just glad there’s no belt involved.

Score: 2 for 3

4. Eve Torres should totally hook up with Zack Ryder.

Jeffrey Harris: FICTION. Last time I checked, Eve Torres was going out with Renner Gracie. However if that wasn’t the case, I don’t think they should go out. Torres just seems to add little to the equation when she is paired up with other wrestlers. They tried to make her a valet for R-Truth and it failed miserably. Zack Ryder has risen above this level and doesn’t need eye candy to make him look better when he’s already on the path to becoming a future main eventer. I’m sorry Eve, but Zack Ryder is just too good for you. He doesn’t need a girlfriend or a valet, he just needs to continue being awesome.

Chris Lansdell: FACT. Sure, why not? Zack’s flying high right now and maybe linking him with a face Diva who can actually wrestle will stimulate some interest in that division again. Seriously, how many more times are we going to see Alicia, Kelly or Eve beat Natalya, pin Beth in a tag match then lose to Beth on PPV? When was the last time Natalya even beat anyone? The Sisters of Destruction thing was a cool idea but it lost all its power when Natalya became the rent-a-jobber gatekeeper for a title shot. Then of course it isn’t helping the faces that they all get beaten by Beth when they do get that far.

The division is more of a joke now than it’s been even in recent years. The two best competitors are aligned while the next one is pregnant. When Kharma DOES come back there will be tremendous interest in the inevitable feud with Beth, but until then SOMETHING is needed if WWE wants to prevent the whole shebang being seen as filler. Putting Eve with Zack, possibly against Alberto del Rio and the Bellas, could help with that goal and give Eve a nice high profile.

Score: 2 for 4

SWITCH!

5. You’re looking forward to Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett on Smackdown this week.

Chris Lansdell: FICTION, but only because Orton’s injured now. Barrett has really shown me something since this whole “Barrett Barrage” thing, and I don’t mean that ridiculous logo on his tights. What the fuck is that anyway? Is he fucking Popeye? Lousy name and lousier logo aside, Barrett has shown signs of fulfilling the potential that we saw in him during his NXT run, and the feud with Randy was a great showcase for it. To continue the push I would like to see Orton get ambushed backstage at SmackDown by Barrett, putting him out. If that’s even possible; at the time of writing this I don’t have the details of Orton’s injury. When Orton comes back Barrett should be champ or close to it, then the Orton feud could gain even more meaning.

Jeffrey Harris: FACT. Yes most definitely. WWE has Tweeted that Orton suffered an injury during this match so my curiosity is definitely peaked. Hopefully Orton will be OK and make a full recovery. Orton and Barrett are both good wrestlers and know how to work a good match. The two had good matches in the past during the NXT feud as well.

Score: 2 for 5

6. Maria Kanellis needs to be a permanent fixture in Ring of Honor.

Chris Lansdell: FICTION. Maria has been a permanent fixture in my dreams for a while now, but Ring of Honor is not the place for her. What is she going to do there? She’s no wrestler, she’s no announcer and she’s likely not the cheapest person to use as a ring announcer, valet or backstage interviewer. Money can be better spent elsewhere, and really I don’t see what Maria brings to the show that any other attractive woman doesn’t bring. Any name value she had has dwindled away by now, surely?

Jeffrey Harris: FACT. Yes most definitely. She’s something a little different and can add a lot to the product. With ROH the emphasis is on logical storylines and great wrestling matches, but there is still a place for people like Maria. You still need your Lacey’s and your Allison Danger’s. Maria was never really a great wrestler, but she’s beautiful and she has good chemistry with people like Mike Bennett. Let’s see where this goes.

Score: 2 for 6

7. The Briscoe Brothers are the best tag team in pro wrestling.

Chris Lansdell: FICTION. What are you, kidding? Have you never heard of the team of Massive Q and Traffic, Mass Transit??? OK so I’m kidding, but I’m going to make people angry here anyway and disagree without proposing an alternate choice. I love watching the Briscoes. Hell, I think I like watching them fight each other even more than fighting others. The problem is that they wrestle one specific style and it’s never realistic. Killing opponents with sick moves is great to watch, and taking crazy bumps is too, but then the match goes on for 10 more minutes with each move and bump getting more and more outlandish. They are the embodiment of the term “spot monkeys” and although it’s entertaining, it doesn’t make them the best team in wrestling. That’s without even considering the injuries they’ve had and caused and the resulting changes to their moveset. One of the top teams for sure, but I can’t quite pull the trigger on “best.”

Jeffrey Harris: FICTION. No. To take this statement at face value would be a bald faced lie. Now had the question been, “The Briscoe Brothers are the best tag team in pro wrestling currently,” the answer would be FACT. However, that was not the question. The best tag team in pro wrestling was the Kings of Wrestling. They single-handedly revived tag team wrestling and made it fun and exciting again before the so-called World’s Greatest Tag Team cheated twice against them and eventually won the titles before the KOW disbanded after their second most legendary run ever. However the Briscoes are absolute gold. They may not be “aesthetically pleasing” enough for WWE creative, but Jay and Mark can still put together the most hilarious redneck country wrestling promos ever: “Jennifer Hudson, you looked better when you were fat!”

Score: 3 for 7

8. Kevin Steen will be the next ROH Champion.

Chris Lansdell: FACT At least I hope so. I was in Toronto when Steen faced Nigel McGuinness for the title. We all knew he had no hope of winning (Nigel was due to face Claudio Castagnoli the next night in a heavily-hyped match)but the match those two put on had everyone on their feet multiple times. Steen has worked his ass off for RoH: putting on multuiple 5-star matches, working hurt, being part of some of the biggest and best angles in the company and causing fans to campaign for his return. If not him, then who?

Jeffrey Harris: FICTION. Steen I think needs to be on the backburner for a little bit after the Final Battle match. I think he needs to be checked out after all the bumps in that match. However at the same time, how did they get away with all the chair shots in that match? Aren’t chair shots now pretty taboo in wrestling? Shouldn’t it stay that way due to concussions and potential brain trauma? Steen could be at that level eventually, but not anytime soon. I think first, Roderick Strong will have to take the title back before he feuds with Steen.

Final Score: 3 for 8

Chris & Jeffrey agree less than half of the time, which happens a lot less than I’d expect around here. Who do you agree with more? What are your opinions on the questions? Feel free to chime in down in the comment section. Thanks to Chris Lansdell & Jeffrey Harris for joining us, and I’ll be back next week with two more competitors entering the 411 Fact or Fiction ring!