News From Cook’s Corner 01.10.12

I’m going to skip the talk about Chris Jericho’s legs, as I can’t say I have an opinion there. We’ll start with a couple of e-mails!

I thought this might give you some food for thought. I went to a Raw house show last week with my nephews in Hartford, CT. The Main Event was a cage match between Punk and Miz (ADR was supposed to be in it as well, but with the injury, it became one-on-one.) and the card also featured Cena vs. Kane. Now, I hadn’t been a house show in a long time, but I mostly remember them being in the dingy, old Boston Garden, and Hogan (in his day) never wrestled there. There was not a lot of fan interaction back in those days, either. I think even the entrance music was played over a cassette deck with the house microphone put next to the speakers. This show was a lot different. Everyone was there, even John Laurenitis and Mick Foley. It was almost like a Raw with no annoying commercials and plugs for twitter.

Or am I just being cynical? – Crow

As fun as it is to watch wrestling on TV, DVDs & YouTube, nothing can match the experience of watching a show in person. It’s even better for the kids that finally get to see their heroes they watch on TV every week doing their thing live and in living color. I went to my first show when I was 11…it was a Raw taping at the Cincinnati Gardens on February 19, 1996, on the road to WrestleMania 12. I found the results on the ridiculously useful History of WWE website…let’s take a look!

Monday Night Raw taping:
-Duke Drose defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley in a steel cage match when the momentum of a knee by Helmsley knocked Drose out the door
-Ahmed Johnson pinned Davey Boy Smith with the Pearl River Plunge; the match began as an arm wrestling bout but escalated into a fight
-Diesel & Shawn Michaels defeated the Undertaker & Jake Roberts when Michaels pinned Roberts with the superkick; mid-way through the bout, Taker and Diesel battled backstage, making the match 1-on-1
2/19/96 – included a vignette promoting the return of the Ultimate Warrior; featured a vignette for Mankind; included a Larry Fling Live segment with special guest Billionaire Ted:
Razor Ramon defeated WWF IC Champion Goldust (w/ Marlena) via count-out when the champion walked out of the match after sustaining Razor’s back suplex off the top; after the bout, Razor grabbed a microphone and asked acting WWF President Roddy Piper to make a match with Razor and Goldust, not a title match but a fight (this was to have led to the Miami ally fight scheduled between Razor and Goldust for WrestleMania XII)
-Skip & Zip (w/ Sunny) fought Barry Horowitz & Aldo Montoya to a no contest when Vader came out before the Body Donnas’ entrance and brutally attacked Horowitz and Montoya
-Steve Austin (w/ Ted Dibiase) defeated Marty Jannetty via submission with the Million $ Dream; during the bout, Vince McMahon stated that Jannetty was about to enter the tag team tournament with a partner that had yet to debut; McMahon also referred to Austin’s personality as “stone cold”
-The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) pinned Tatanka (w/ Ted Dibiase) with the tombstone; mid-way through the bout, Diesel came ringside to grab a cameraman, taking him backstage so he could document Diesel destroying the Undertaker’s casket with an axe; after the bout, the reminants of the casket were shown on the video screen as the Undertaker and Bearer looked on
2/26/96 – included a vignette in which several young fans asked WWF President Roddy Piper to bring the Ultimate Warrior back to the WWF; featured the announcement WWF World Champion Bret Hart would face Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Shawn Michaels would wrestle the 1-2-3 Kid the following week; included a Mankind vignette in which he talked about his mommy and his rat named George; featured footage of the Smith & Owen vs. Hakushi & Horowitz from the 2/24 Superstars and the announcement that the New Rockers would face the Godwinns the following weekend in the WWF Tag Team Title Tournament; included Vince McMahon conducting an in-ring interview with the two men that would face off in the main event of WrestleMania XII, Shawn Michaels and WWF World Champion Bret Hart; during the segment, Michaels agreed Hart was the best there was and possibly the best there ever will be but disagreed about being the best there is; Hart then put over his recent title defenses against men so much larger than him and said he didn’t have to beat Michaels but Michaels would have to beat him to win the title; after the two spoke about their conditioning, WWF President Roddy Piper came out and took over the segment, first saying he didn’t to hear fans boo either Bret or Shawn and then put down each man, telling Michaels he had nice abs but that didn’t mean anything and then telling Bret anyone could have a lucky title defense; Piper then said there would be no cheap finish for the match because the winner would be the man with the most falls; after both agreed to the stipulation, Piper said the match would last a full hour:
-Jake Roberts pinned Isaac Yankem DDS at 3:32 with the DDT after blocking Yankem’s version by holding onto the ropes; prior to the bout, footage was shown of Jerry Lawler escaping Roberts’ snake at the Royal Rumble
-Diesel pinned Bob Holly with the powerbomb at around 5:30; after the bout, as Diesel made his way backstage, the Undertaker’s gong sounded and the lights went out; when they came back on, Taker was standing alone in the ring; as Diesel went to get back in the ring the lights went out and when they came back on Taker was gone; moments later, Taker appeared on the big screen and said he was the master of playing mindgames
-Ahmed Johnson pinned Shinobi (Al Snow) with the Pearl River Plunge; during the bout, WWF IC Champion Goldust called in and read a poem directed at WWF President Roddy Piper in which he asked when he could play his bagpipe
-Yokozuna defeated Owen Hart & Davey Boy Smith (w/ Jim Cornette) via disqualification in a handicap match when Vader, who had come ringside moments earlier, interfered and hit a clothesline knocking Yoko to the mat; after the bout, Jake Roberts and Ahmed Johnson made the save against Vader, Owen, and Smith
3/4/96:
-Shawn Michaels pinned the 1-2-3 Kid (w/ Ted Dibiase) with the superkick at around the 12:30 mark after avoiding a legdrop off the top; during the bout, WWF World Champion Bret Hart was shown watching the match backstage, during which he said he wouldn’t fall for the same tricks against Michaels at WrestleMania that Michaels was using against the Kid and that he and Michaels were friends and he didn’t want to see him get hurt before their match; after the bout, Michaels danced with a young girl in the ring (Shawn Michaels: His Journey)
-Justin Bradshaw pinned Hakushi with the lariat
-WWF World Champion Bret Hart defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley via submission with the Sharpshooter in a non-title match

The results aren’t quite in order, I figure Graham did that to better reflect what happened on television. The cage match between Duke Drose & Helmsley was originally supposed to be Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog, then it was changed to Razor Ramon vs. Goldust, then we ended up getting…that. It was a tough night for ol’ Triple H, as he had been undefeated on television up until that night, then he lost to Bret and lost the cage match in embarrassing fashion. The last match that took place on the show was Diesel/Michaels vs. Taker/Roberts, which I loved because Diesel & HBK were best buddies and I remembered Undertaker & Jake’s partnership from a few years back. It was nice to see they’d gotten back on the same page after their falling-out that led to their WrestleMania VIII match. I was a huge Jake Roberts fan and this was at the point where he had just returned to the WWF and it looked like the born-again Christian thing was working for him. It wouldn‘t take, but I didn’t know that while watching my old favorite wrestler go against one of my new favorites, Shawn Michaels. I even made my dad buy me one of those HBK foam fingers. I loved Shawn & Bret, but I was leaning towards Shawn to win at WrestleMania XII because he hadn’t won the WWF title yet.

Heck, I just learned something reading those results…I didn’t know that Austin match was apparently the first time he was referred to as “stone cold” by Vince McMahon. That’s pretty cool.

Of course it’s a lot more fun to go to wrestling shows than it is to read about them. But it’s the love of wrestling that leads people like us to go on websites like this and talk about the stuff. Sure, it seems like there’s a lot of negative folks out there that don’t like anything, but even they enjoyed the show at one point or another. If your nephews continue with their love of wrestling maybe they’ll end up reading sites like 411. If they do, hopefully they’ll continue being huge John Cena fans and not turn against him or other wrestlers because the “IWC” tells them to. I don’t want to be responsible for crushing peoples’ souls.

After watching the return of Jericho last night, I couldn’t help but feel underwhelmed. Where was the Y2J who debuted in ’99 to make Raw exciting? Where was the Jericho who tried to save us from the reign of Orton in ’07? Why didn’t he say a word into the mic? Where was the promo that could set the tone for 2012? But then I realized. He can’t save us. He has tried to save the WWE and yet, the status quo remains the same. Jericho is not here to attempt to save us again, he is here to prove that we cannot be saved.

CM Punk has claimed he is fighting to change the status quo. To save the WWE from being the boring product that it has become. Yet, what is Punk doing? Feuding with an authority figure. Coming back after claiming he was taking the WWE title and not returning. Despite his efforts, Punk has not saved us. He has just become part of the status quo without realizing it. Jericho is back to prove to Punk that you cannot save anyone. That the only way to change is to escape. Jericho will succeed where Punk failed, by winning the WWE title and disappearing. I think Jericho will win the title at Mania, then not show up on Raw. The announcers will question where he is when his music plays and he doesn’t show up. This will continue for several weeks as reports of a fight between Jericho and management appear, claiming Jericho took his ball and went home. A new WWE title will appear, just in time for a new King of the Ring tournament. Punk wins it, only to be interrupted by a returning Jericho, just in time to start setting up a real Summerslam main event unification bout. Yes, they did the same thing this year, but this time, it’s drawn out. Jericho vs. Punk. The best feud of 2012? It could happen. – DJ

I loved this analogy so much that I alluded to it on last week’s Greg DeMarco Show. Jericho is no longer about saving the WWE, that’s CM Punk’s gig. The Punker’s all about change, and there have been a few changes since he go to the top of the card, but has there been that much change? Have we been saved, or are people like Punk, Daniel Bryan & Zack Ryder now part of the establishment? Jericho knows that the WWE can’t be saved, and that the audience isn’t worth saving. Punk vs. Jericho seems to be the feud that everybody wants to see, and I think WWE will give it to them.

I’ve gotta say that Jericho’s return was brilliant. Clearly, the WWE knew that his return would get a major pop, so they took it to the xth level by having Jericho revel in the fans to the point of making many uncomfortable. It would have been the easy route for Jericho to then cut a promo on how easy the fans were to manipulate, but instead, he just kept going and going, and that empty smile at the end told volumes of what he really thought of the spectacle. I’m sure next week is when he’ll cut the promo, probably to enter himself into the Royal Rumble. – Michael L

You have to feel bad for Chris Jericho. He’s spent the past couple of years doing whatever he could to be unpopular with the “smart” fans. He became a dull, monotone heel that wore suits and went on and on about being the best in the world at what he does. People loved it. So obviously when he came back he had to go the other way. What pisses off smart wrestling fans more than wrestlers that do nothing? Jericho came back and did absolutely nothing. It made some people mad, but there were just as many people on the Internet that thought it was the greatest thing ever. It has to drive him bonkers. What can he do to make people hate him?

Maybe he should get some advice from John Cena.

I hate to be a cynic but I’m worried they’ll screw up Jericho’s return. Think about the awesome moments of the past few years…the Nexus invading and Punk’s shoot promo. Both started out strong but got watered down (to varying degress). But I have hope since this is Jericho and he can salvage a lot. I’m sure since he’s a big star by now he has some say in how he’s handled. – Guest#9553

This has been an issue with WWE for quite some time. They write a great first chapter, then the second chapter’s ok, then the third isn’t so good, and then by the end of the book you just want the thing to be over. Jericho gets a lot of leeway because his stuff is generally top-quality, but it’s not like everything he’s ever done was awesome. His return in late 2007 didn’t get off to the best of starts, as he had a feud with Randy Orton that led to a lame run with JBL (which was a shame, I love both guys but their feud stunk), and then he was in limbo until his turn on Shawn Michaels happened. Then it got awesome. Michaels vs. Jericho was great from beginning to end, as was most of what Jericho did until he left again.

We’re going to give Jericho the benefit of the doubt for at least a couple of months. If he’s not into anything significantly awesome by WrestleMania, people will start to get antsy. Then the Jericho doubters will come out in full force. Hey, maybe this is what Jericho needs to do to get people against him!

Remember last year with HHH and Taker. They both returned, pandered to the crowd, said nothing and tore the roof off of Wrestlemania. – higherlevel

That was a damn effective segment right there, and the success of that and Jericho’s return prove that the whole return thing doesn’t need to be too complicated. Make some funky videos and show up on a certain date. Heck, if you really want to make it easy you can be like Triple H and show up the same time as somebody else. It works. Sure, Rock’s return where he talked for ten minutes was fun too, but coming up with stuff to say is a lot of work. It’s even worse if you’re relying on WWE’s creative team to come up with things for you to say. Just walk out, soak up the cheers. Easy enough.

RE: The Wrestling Sandwich being the #1 regular weekend column.

Being #1 isn’t always something to brag about or even a pleasant thing to see. – Darth Mortis

I hear ROH has stuff on lockdown in Wyoming, though. Jim Cornette’s talking about running a show in Casper sometime this year. Ah, Darth never disappoints.

I don’t think Maria is the one who should be worried. Fatty in the Red Hat is glaring longingly at Mike Bennett. – Guest#7731

Maybe Maria’s worried that Red Hat’s going to steal her boyfriend? The guy in the yellow shirt looks interested too, though I’m pretty sure that the guy in the white shirt is all about getting him some Maria. I think the moral of the story here is that if you insist on taking your boy/girlfriend to a wrestling show, make sure they wear pants. That’s actually a pretty good rule for wherever you take your significant other.

Last I’d heard about Kaval in WWE from an interview actually on this site, was that he never actually asked for his release, was instead hit with ye olde ‘Creative Has Nothing For You’… as for him missing the ball on TNA, I’d rather he stay in Japan than head back over there. He didn’t really seem to enjoy his stay there last time either from what I remembered, and he’d certainly be better served taking his talent elsewhere, at least in my opinion. Of course, I’m still holding out hope for a WWE return… It was absolutely garbage how they couldn’t find anything for him to do but job with how much the fans had gotten behind him. – With Electric Fire

Yeah, apparently Kaval’s story in the interview was that WWE released him but told him to tell people that he asked for his release. I guess the reasoning there is that it helped him save face…I dunno, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. There’s probably some part of the story that Kaval didn‘t share with the interviewer. I was surprised when he headed back to TNA for the one shot, so it didn’t surprise me when he didn’t stick around. I do hope he pops up again somewhere, he was fun to watch in the ring and even if promoters had a tough time with him, he was always good with the fans. I remember him selling his own t-shirts outside the Montgomery County Fairgrounds in Dayton, which I assumed was because he didn’t trust the ROH merchandising people to give him his cut.

Say, is Kaval the wrestling version of Fedor? Or is he more akin to Tito Ortiz, except comparing UFC to the entire wrestling world? – G-Walla

Well…Fedor was dominant in Japan and other places outside the UFC bubble until he came to the US and eventually lost a couple of fights. Kaval was dominant in the indies and places outside the WWE bubble until he came to WWE and eventually got jobbed out. Except the fact that Fedor never fought in UFC, it’s not a bad comparison. Fedor was much more dominant in MMA than Kaval was in wrestling, but it works. I guess Kaval’s next move should be to go back to the indies and dominate there like Fedor’s doing in Russia & Japan.

Tito doesn’t fit the comparison, at least not now. Even though he and Dana White have certainly had their issues, he’s fought in UFC longer than anybody else and has to be considered one of the legends of that company. In 2011 he made the transition from “dude that doesn’t want to do business” to “dude that wants to fight for the people”. Or, from “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” to “The Peoples’ Champ”. He may have lost a couple of fights, but he gained a lot of respect.

Too many foul calls in the UK/UL game! It had no flow. – The Great Capt. Smooth

College basketball is quickly becoming dead to me, as Louisville‘s gone into the tank. The Kentucky loss didn’t sting too much because I sent an e-mail to my UK fan friend before the game describing exactly how the game would play out, and I was 100% accurate. The Notre Dame loss pissed me off because it was on at the same time as the Bengals playoff game and they had the gall to go to double overtime instead of just losing in regulation and not ruining any more of my day than necessary. The Bengals had that covered already, I don’t know why the Cards felt they had to add on to it, but that’s in the past now.

Damn it.

Totally understand your point of view but for me and the majority of my wrestling fan friends, TNA isn’t worth our time.

Challenge TV is free here in the UK so by rights I should be watching Impact religiously. But I’m not. In the words of an old superhero, whats up with that? – Big Dee

I get that. I would suggest reading Greg DeMarco’s 5 & 1 column or Wes Kirk’s Wrestling Sandwich for arguments in favor of Impact. I’m not really the right guy to be doing that, as the TNA Impact fans would surely tell you. There are some things they do that I like…for example, on last week’s show they had Gail Kim & Madison Rayne trying to drown Traci Brooks in the shallow end of a swimming pool. I don’t know how they expected that to work. Traci insists that she doesn’t float, but I find that hard to believe. Either way, it was good television and I’m happy that Traci’s getting another run with the company. A lot of the show is hard to get through, but there are some moments, and I’ll pretty much watch any kind of wrestling that gets put on TV as long as there isn’t something more interesting to watch. I’m a glutton for punishment like that.

Since the TNA/AAA relationship seems to be going well why don’t they bring seem of their talent over and have them on house shows and impact tapings? It’d help both of them and get guys exposure in America even if it’s just one match. Or they could do like WCW and New Japan did at Starcade 95 and have a best of series matches between them at a filler PPV like Victory Road. – Michael

That’s a good question…I think there are a number of reasons why you haven’t seen AAA people in TNA. For one thing, the rights to the AAA name for wrestling purposes are owned in the United States by the promoter of Lucha Libre USA. That prevents the TNA vs. AAA angle from making Impact, and as far as the AAA wrestlers go, I don’t think you’ll see them appearing on Impact because TNA already has enough people on their roster to get on TV. El Zorro was supposed to come to TNA sometime last year, but that fell through for whatever reason. I think that had more to do with him than with promotional issues, but in any event I don’t think you’ll be seeing AAA guys on Impact. Which is a damn shame because I’d rather see Dr. Wagner Jr. & LA Par-K than pretty much anybody in TNA.

And now, the fake news!

Chris Jericho made some house show appearances over the weekend that seemed to follow the same script. He came out and soaked in the cheers of the crowd while wearing his sparkly jacket for a bit, then picked up the microphone…but was interrupted by David Otunga! Otunga threatened to sue Jericho because of his jacket, as he feared it could give people seizures. Jericho responded by taking his jacket off and bashing Otunga in the head with his microphone, then putting him in the Walls of Jericho to the pleasure of the fans in attendance. Sounds like a good way of giving the house show crowds something to enjoy without having Jericho talk or explain what he’s doing. I still think he needs to hold off on that as long as possible, but I won’t be surprised if I’m talking about it in the next section of this column.

Speaking of Mr. Otunga, the National Enquirer printed a report that his fiancee wants him to quit the whole wrestling thing. This is the first that anybody is hearing about this, so I wouldn’t expect Otunga to be leaving WWE anytime soon. They were reporting awhile back that Otunga and Jennifer Hudson were splitting up, and that hasn’t happened. Poor Enquirer…you know you’re not doing so well with the news reporting thing when we’re more accurate than you are.

PWInsider is reporting that WWE is pushing back the debut of the WWE Network until Fall 2012, and the WWE Network commercial on last night’s Raw no longer listed “April 2012” as the debut date, just “2012”. WWE won’t have the infrastructure needed in place by WrestleMania to launch the network. They really wanted to start it on April 1, but decided that it just wasn’t feasible. The projects they’re working on are going on as scheduled.

Next week’s Raw will be an interesting day for the folks that set up Monday Night Raw every week. It turns out that Anaheim’s arena will be playing host to the Professional Bull Riding Association in the days prior to Raw. Their show will end Sunday at 2 PM, and all of the dirt involved in that won’t be fully removed from the building until 1 PM. Keep in mind that they’re on the West Coast, so Raw will be going live at 6 PM local time. Typically the WWE crew begins setting up the Raw set early in the morning, so it’ll be quite the rush to get it done in less than five hours. It’s too bad they don’t have the WWE Network on air yet, because this sounds like it’d make an interesting TV show.

Of course, the people removing the dirt from the arena are really the people we should feel for. Especially if Vince McMahon shows up early and yells at them to get a move on.

WWE’s 2012 Hall of Fame induction ceremony will be taking place on March 31st in Miami’s American Airlines Arena. Mil Mascaras is the only confirmed inductee thus far, but everybody assumes they will induct The Rock, Randy Savage, or both. Of course, this will all pale in comparison to Barry Larkin being inducted into Baseball’s Hall of Fame on July 22nd.

Antonio Cesaro made his WWE Raw house show debut over the weekend, teaming with Michael McGillicutty against Alex Riley & Mason Ryan. The thought of Riley & Ryan as a tag team gives me one of those seizures that David Otunga was talking about. That is one scary thought right there. Cesaro also lost to Riley in a dark match at the Raw taping last night. Remember when they used to bring in new guys and have them work with guys like Val Venis? Those were the days.

Britani Knight made her FCW debut last week in a battle royal. We’ve discussed Ms. Knight in the column before, she’s a British wrestler that teamed with her mother Saraya in SHIMMER before getting signed by WWE a little while back. Apparently she’ll be working under her mother’s name in FCW, as that’s what she was introduced as. I’m not sure it’ll stick, as FCW wrestlers change their name more often than Stephen Randle changes his underwear.

Speaking of women wrestlers, Madusa wants one more run, and she has the perfect idea for it. She still owns the WWF Women’s Title belt that she dumped in the trash on an episode of WCW Monday Nitro in 1995, and she says she wants to do one more angle with WWE where Beth Phoenix would wrestle her for the old title. I would not hold my breath while waiting on this to happen…Vince McMahon is certainly a forgiving person and I don’t think he still holds a grudge against Madusa, but he probably won’t be inclined to bring her back for an extended program with the Glamazon. Madusa looks pretty good for somebody nearing the half-century mark, but I don’t think she fits in with what WWE is doing with the Diva division.

Beth Phoenix hasn’t been on TV since getting her face broken by Alicia Fox, but she has kept herself busy on Twitter challenging Chelsea Handler to step in the ring with her at WWE’s next show in Los Angeles on February 24. Chelsea is not down with the idea, and I for one applaud her for knowing her limitations. She knows what she’s good at, which is making women laugh by telling jokes, writing best-selling books, hosting TV shows and appearing on NBC sitcoms. (Well, we don’t know if she’s good at the last one yet) Wrestling is a very difficult thing to do, especially when you don’t have a whole lot of athletic ability. I don’t really get Chelsea’s appeal, andI‘m obviously not part of her target audience, but obviously she’s doing something right and probably doesn’t need to get in a wrestling ring to get attention.

Especially when it’s a house show. Come on Beth, you gotta make her a better offer than that. SummerSlam’s in LA every year, offer her that and maybe you’ll get a deal.

Booker T listed his current Fave Five on Twitter, and it looks like a pretty solid list to me:

1. Daniel Bryan
2. Sheamus
3. Wade Barrett
4. Zack Ryder
5. Drew McIntyre

People asked about Drew, and Booker feels that 2012 is Drew’s year. I hope it is, I haven’t given up on the Sinister Scotsman and it’d be great if his current angle leads to something substantial for him. Sheamus is always close to making my list, but he doesn’t quite crack it.

Who’s in my Fave Five? I don’t know about you guys, but I always have a problem coming up with Fave Fives because there’s way too many people I dig. This was my Fave Five back in October, courtesy of Offtheteam.com:

Cody Rhodes
Dolph Ziggler
Zack Ryder
Mark Henry
CM Punk

It’s been a couple of months, so here’s my new list!

Cody Rhodes – Still at the top of the list, and it’s going to take a heck of a lot to knock him off. He’s having good matches with whoever he’s in the ring with and his interactions with his half-brother Dustin have been interesting.
Daniel Bryan – D-Bry goes from being off the list because he was doing nothing to getting the 2 spot. I loved Bryan as a dickhead champion in ROH, and now he’s getting the chance to do something similar in WWE. This is the character he was meant to play, not the smiling good guy stuff.
Wade Barrett – Wade’s really kicked things up a notch since starting the Barrage, and is showing the flashes of greatness he showed when he was leading the Nexus. He also tweets about his Fave Five NFL Quarterbacks, which is awesome. Probably the classiest wrestler on Twitter with the exception of William Regal.
Zack Ryder – You have to love Zack, he’s been working as hard as anybody in the company and has gone from near the bottom of the roster to near the top in less than a year. It’s one thing to get pushed from the beginning, it’s another to start at the bottom, be kept there for a long time, and then convince management you have something to offer.
CM Punk – Still hanging on at the five slot. Punk’s been delivering quality matches since getting the WWE title and I’m digging his feud with the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and the Interim General Manager of Raw, John Laurinitas. John’s provided a new twist on the authority figure, and Punk is playing well off of it.

Mark Henry just misses the cut, mostly due to his injury limiting what he can do in the ring. He was freaking awesome on commentary last week on SmackDown, though. As for Dolph Ziggler, he’s still having good matches but I’m not really digging the “Show Off” persona. He’d make the Top Ten, but he doesn’t quite crack Fave Five levels these days.

Who are your guys’ Fave Five? We’ll go with WWE people this week, and if things go well maybe we’ll come up with different variants on it in the future, like Non-WWE people or Ladies or Non-Wrestlers or whatever. I’m curious to see who y’all are liking these days, so make your list based on how people are entertaining you on January 10, 2011.

-A John Cena tweet from Monday afternoon reminded me that Corpus Christi, Texas is an interesting location in WWE history. Raw was scheduled to be held there the day the bodies of Chris, Nancy & Daniel Benoit were discovered in the Benoit house in Georgia. WWE cancelled the live event and instead held a televised three-hour memorial to the career of Chris, who they were not aware had murdered his wife & son & committed suicide. It was a weird night where Chris Benoit went from being one of the Internet’s most beloved wrestlers and having everybody mourn his death to becoming the most scorned wrestler of all time.

-We start the show with Kane coming down to the ring in his helmet.

-Not a fan of Kane talking. Kane needs to be more about beating people up instead of yapping.

-OK, Kane seriously needs to stop reading from Cody’s scripts.

-Kane punches some people backstage while fighting with Cena. Good, that’s the Kane we need to see.

-Sheamus & Santino vs. Wade & Jinder. I thought we’d be spared Santino on this show now that he’s the assistant to the SD GM.

-I also want to know who I pissed off to have to watch this many Jinder Mahal matches. I hope this isn’t WWE’s answer that Ra King Ra promotion TNA’s doing. HE’S FROM CANADA.

-Santino gets the pin on Jinder.

-Miz is now being out-dressed by “Big Johnny”. He should be ashamed of himself.

-Your first WWE Hall of Fame inductee for 2012…Edge! No surprise there, and well-deserved. Some of you will say it’s too soon, but I’d rather have people go in too soon than too late.

-I dig this Seether song.

-If Mason Ryan was smart he’d agree to be Miz’s bodyguard. Easy way to get on TV!

-Tsk tsk, Zack. Everybody knows that getting a date with the girl you’re pining for only makes the impending doom come sooner.

-You know Bryan is still good people because Michael Cole disagrees with his actions on Friday night. You know, where Mark Henry decked him for no reason.

-Bryan beats Kofi in convincing fashion! YES! HE DID IT! HE IS A WINNER! WOOO!

-Why’s Big Show coming down? He has no business here!

-Bryan vs. Show this week on SmackDown, no disqualification and no countouts! Indeed, how will D-Bry get out of this pickle?

-BRODUS CLAY NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Planet Funk? The Funkasaurus?

-Holy shit!

-Curt Hawkins is as confused as the rest of us. He also has a weird new gimmick going that I have no idea what it is.

-See how Brodus gets hip?

-His bad.

-Are those the chicks they had with Flash Funk?

-I have the feeling this thing’s going to flop pretty hard, but Brodus looks like he’s putting effort into it. I enjoy the gyrations and his random comments during the match.

-I also like the fact they brought back Ernest Miller’s old music for the occasion. It was enjoyable and nobody was expecting it, but I’m doubting there’s staying power there.

-CM Punk comes out for the first hour main event.

-It’s Big Johnny, and he’s laying down the law!

-If Punk wins here, Swagger & Vickie will be banned from ringside at the Rumble. See, Big Johnny’s a fair man!

-Alabama’s up 9-0 on LSU at the half? That game might as well be over.

-Poor Punker, how can he be expected to follow the Funkasaurus?

-Seriously, that song’s still stuck in my head. People at work tomorrow are going to hate me.

-Well, somebody blew something there. Either Swagger wasn’t supposed to kick out, or the ref wasn’t supposed to count three…or they want an excuse for Big Johnny to overturn it.

-Unfortunately for Swagger, WWE doesn’t go by instant replay.

-Zack Ryder needs to quit standing around in empty hallways.

-Hmm, the WWE Network debut date is now listed as “2012”.

-When did Ricardo learn English?

-The second (third) inductee in to the WWE Class of 2012…The Four Horsemen! They’re going with the Flair-Arn-Tully-Windham version, which is probably the overall best one.

-Ricardo is a much better promo in Spanish.

-Lots of people singing and dancing tonight.

-Oh noes, Miz was run off by R-Truth! Cue the people whining that Miz didn’t get to look like a badass. Miz isn’t a badass. That’s not his deal. People need to accept that.

-I love Justin Roberts’ ridiculously overblown introductions.

-I dig how they’ve already re-done Jericho’s Titantron video to include all those clips of him smiling & gesticulating from last week. Also, he’s keeping the jacket!

-Ha, they put the sign guy dude on the side facing away from the hard cam.

-Jericho’s going to cry! He’s such an emotional man.

-He’s so emotionally overcome that he can’t speak! Amazing! But who can blame him after that amazing response he got from the crowd that adores him so much.

-Pretty late in the show for a Divas match, isn’t it?

-Poor Eve, that’s not Beth’s music!

-Is Zack Ryder really going to change the tire and not call a cab? Or hotwire somebody’s car? He’s from the LI, surely he’s done it before.

-Your Brodus Clay dancers were Naomi Knight & Cameron Lynn. I thought I recognized Naomi’s booty.

-Dolph with the headstand while doing a rear chinlock on Cena. Well, that’s one way to make the move interesting.

-Oh noes, Kane has attacked Zack Ryder!

-Chokeslam off the platform! Unfortunately we could see Ryder land just below the side of the platform. Whoops.

-Kane then smothers Cena and the show’s over. I can only assume that Dolph Ziggler won via countout.

-Really, the Funkasaurus makes this show. The Cena/Ryder/Kane stuff was dumb, Punk vs. Swagger was mired by a bad ending, and Alberto needs to keep it Spanish. But we got BRODUS FREAKING FUNKASAURUS CLAY.

Impact will be making its way across the pond, as London’s Wembley Arena will be playing host to an Impact taping on January 28. TNA obviously has high hopes for this show as they traditionally draw good crowds in England and they get bigger with each tour. Wembley Arena was the place where TNA drew a record number of 8,100 to view a show back in January 2009, and I’d expect them to get a similar number if not more this time.

Unfortunately for TNA, the good vibes don’t seem to extend to Germany, as they were forced to cancel a planned three-show tour of the nation due to unexpectedly low ticket sales. I don’t know much about pro wrestling in Germany other than there have been a lot of Nazi wrestlers over the years and they love Bret Hart. Bret Hart is not in TNA, and to the best of my knowledge they haven’t employed any Nazis since Don Harris left a few years back.

The Impact taping thing happened on short notice and it’s resulted in multiple workers being pulled from indy dates they had planned for that weekend. It also resulted in Velvet Sky being pulled from the tour due to a “recent storyline change”, until somebody realized that she was one of the main people advertised for the shows and Challenge TV had a contest going where the winning fan would get to have dinner with her. Whoops! Velvet is back on the shows now, so all’s well that ends well.

Impact tapings in Orlando for January 16 & 17 have been cancelled. They had a taping last night and are having one tonight, but that’s it until the January 28 show in London. I guess they’ll tape one and a half shows one night, and one and a half shows the next night. That would cover the three weeks until the London taping, then they’d tape two shows in London to cover the time until the next PPV & subsequent Impact tapings. That should work.

Hulk Hogan is being advertised for the company’s Against All Odds PPV event in February. Hogan has not been on TV much since turning face at Bound For Glory. He appeared on the Impact after that show, but I don’t think he’s been around since. I would speculate on what he might do when he comes back, but that would require me caring about him coming back.

Rob Van Dam is reportedly on his way out of TNA, and the speculation is that WWE is interested in bringing him back. I’ve been wrong about these things before, but I don’t really see the purpose of signing RVD…whether you’re WWE or TNA. His TNA run has been mediocre at best, producing mostly average matches and not bringing in any extra fans. He’s gotten lazy and has taken to wearing a t-shirt in most of his recent matches. I dunno, I’m sure many will say “Well of course he’s gotten lazy, he’s in TNA”, but I don’t see RVD having a whole lot to offer to WWE in 2012 & beyond. Now, I have heard some people say that he seems more motivated lately and maybe that’s why, but it’s going to take more than a couple of motivated performances to sell me on RVD being a worthwhile investment.

Toxxin (Christina Von Eerie) has not heard anything regarding her status with TNA. She’s still listed on TNA’s roster page, but hasn’t appeared with the company since Jesse Neal, her fiancee, left. I wouldn’t read anything into her being on their roster page…they take awhile to update that sometimes and Jesse Neal is still on it. Something tells me we won’t be seeing her back with TNA.

Watch her show up on this week’s Impact tapings just to make me sound like a doofus.

The Ultimate Warrior & Kevin Nash have been engaged in quite the war of words on Twitter this week. From what I can tell, it started when Warrior was asked why he didn’t dye his hair and do a “Kevin Nash return”. Warrior replied with this:

“I’m not a dickhead who thrives on stealing the limelight from young guys.”

BAM, SON! Kevin Nash responded with a series of tweets challenging Warrior to an MMA fight…

Never realized I had a problem with Jim (Warrior). Seemed to get along fine in Scottsdale. Come on my clown, turn that frown upside down. A true warrior never turns down a challenge. Put up a 100K. I’ll do the same. 3 rounds. mma rules. winner take all. I’m talking shoot, not sports entertainment. Jim Hellwig needs to put up or shut the fuck up. Day before Mania in Miami area. I’m tired of this guy talking shit about the boys & me. When they stop it or you tap, i’ll quit, or you can apologize like the c*nt you are. You should watch your mouth,You know your a bitch .You want nothing to do with me.You ran out of your gym to avoid me. You want to go pussy name the place and time. If not shut your dick sucker and forget my name. Bitch make me 100k richer. I knew i would get no response because i know Jim Helwig, in the future when my name comes up pass Jim, puss

Warrior responded with a 10 minute diatribe!

Nash responded with this:

Helwig goes Dr. evil on me. What does he want, 1 billion dollars? How about this Jim, you pick the time and place for free and fun.

Unfortunately that seems to be it for now, but we’ll definitely keep you up to date on this breaking story. Will Ultimate Warrior & Kevin Nash go at it in MMA warfare? I don’t know…even if they did I’m not convinced they could make it to the ring without getting injured. Either while walking to the ring, or in training. UFC people seem to get injured in training all the time.

Bill Goldberg says that he would be interested in returning to WWE to feud with Brock Lesnar. Yeah, because the world really needs to see that match again. I’d rather watch Warrior vs. Nash!

“Skullkrusher” Rasche Brown has announced his retirement from pro wrestling. Brown saw his greatest fame in Ring of Honor, where he became a featured performer on their HDNet television show. He was also one-half of the NWA Tag Team Champions with Keith Walker and was crowned the Urban Wrestling Federation’s first champion earlier this year, before he left the company due to creative differences. Brown is retiring due to after-effects from a severe concussion he suffered on an ROH show in December 2009, where he dove over the top rope and ended up landing on the back of his head. Brown thanked the fans that watched him perform over the years, and he warned people never to downplay a concussion.

ROH & CHIKARA seems to have a strange relationship going. A CHIKARA team will be appearing on ROH’s show in Philadelphia on January 20 to face the Briscoe Brothers in a Proving Ground match. So it seems like they’re on good terms, but then on April 28 both promotions will be running shows in the Chicago area at the same time. So they like each other, but they don’t like each other. Come to think of it, that isn’t so strange…most of my relationships with women could be described like that.

The 411 on Wrestling is taking a two-week vacation, but Larry & I went out on a high note as we welcomed the lovely & talented OVW Women‘s Champion Taeler Hendrix to the show! Good times. Taeler’s got the ability, the look, the charisma & the positive mental attitude to make it a long way in wrestling, and I’m excited to see what she does in the future. Someday when Taeler’s a big star in WWE or TNA or whatever company’s smart enough to sign her, I’ll be here bragging about how I knew she’d make it big and that I was the first person to have her on a podcast. Then Larry will yell at me about it being his podcast. Jeez, he wouldn’t shut up about that. Anyway, we had a lot of fun and you should give it a listen.

By the way, if you’re one of the people that enjoys listening to Larry & I talking football in the overtime of the 411 on Wrestling, check out Offtheteam.com later this week. Trent “The Penguin” Howell & I will present a special NFL Playoffs Podcast where we’ll talk about what happened in the Wild Card round and preview the Divisional round. For more information on that, live-tweeting on various sports events and updates on our other ventures, follow us on Twitter @OTT_FF.

The Greg DeMarco Show will continue on and has quite the guest lineup for the next few weeks. This week they’ll welcome Dragon Gate USA’s Open the Freedom Gate Champion, Johnny Gargano! I’ll still be on early in the first hour talking about the top stories in the world of wrestling as only I can.

Ari‘s prediction that Mike Bennett wouldn’t win an ROH title in 2011 came true. Boy, he went out on a limb with that one!

The Kirkster presents the first Sammich of 2012.

The 3 Rs takes a look at ROH’s 2011 TV product.

Rutherford lists his 8 most memorable moments of 2011.

Well, that’s all we have time for this week! Join Nick Marsico tomorrow for the WedWi, and I’ll be back next week for more News From Cook’s Corner! Expect the return of Total Request Cook and all the latest & greatest wrestling news! Until then…