The Wrestling News Experience: 01.23.12

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!

Freebird!

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I’m Stephen Randle, and in deference to the fact that I was a little late last week, I decided not to watch an interesting movie. Instead, I’m watching Cars. Man, that movie is not good, especially for Pixar.

I’d also like to thank Billy Cundiff for missing that last-second field goal, ensuring that there’s no reason at all that I have to care about the Super Bowl. It really frees up your weekend when you don’t give a damn who wins. Plus I already don’t watch the halftime show, so my Sunday is free and clear.

Moving on.

Last week, Raw went off the air with a startling announcement, as after months of professed neutrality, Executive Head of Talent Relations and Interim GM of Raw Johnny Ace flat out stated that in his role as special referee of the WWE Championship match at the Royal Rumble, he fully intends to screw Punk out of the title. Then he knocked Mick Foley out with a microphone for good measure. With Ace’s loyalties now against him without any doubt, what can Punk do in order to give himself even a small chance of retaining his title?

Plus, despite being declared medically unfit to compete, Zack Ryder found himself defending his United States title against Jack Swagger, and despite a valiant effort, Ryder could not overcome his injuries and dropped the title to the All-American American. Can Ryder rebound from what has been a rough few weeks since he was on top of the world after TLC?

And as a side effect of the injustice directed towards Ryder, John Cena got his hands on the new US Champion and things did not go well for Swagger. Cena may have been on the verge of causing serious injury to Swagger before being interrupted by a gleeful Kane. Are the mind game actually having an effect on Cena? Can he hold it together knowing that in one week, he’ll face Kane one-on-one at the Royal Rumble?

All this and more, on the last Raw before the Rumble!

– No big news this week, let’s get right into horrible jokes. Hey, I have to conserve my energy, my favourite PPV of the year is next week and I want to bring my “A” game. Or, at least, my “B” game and alcohol.

– Chris Jericho has apparently gone into business with a group of sports stars…and Tim Tebow in a training facility in Florida. Presumably they’ll be teaching people everything they know about their chosen careers. Eventually, they hope to add someone who can teach people how to play quarterback.

– Bad news for Jim Ross as he was involved in a car accident that totalled his Escalade. Fortunately, JR is all right, and expects to be back reminding us that WWE commentary could be so much better really soon.

– CM Punk told an interviewer that he doesn’t want to be seen as a role model. Which is good, because all that straight edge, no drinking, no drugs, and no cigarettes stuff he talks about was really making me question my decisions in life.

– Yes, I know, he was talking about how people should be responsible for their own decisions instead of modelling themselves after someone else, but someone should tell him that if we don’t look up to him, we’re going to have to go back to idolizing Tiger Woods, and nobody wants that.

– Tyson Kidd did an interview where he talked about searching for a new tag partner in WWE. That’s right, his career has fallen so far that becoming part of a tag team looks like a step up.

– TNA’s Tara said that after WWE, she nearly quit wrestling for good, which would have been a tragedy, in that Mathew Sforcina likely would have snapped and wandered off into the Australian Outback to re-discover his purpose in life, and Ask 411 doesn’t write itself, you know.

– WWE has secured distribution rights to Bermuda, another in a long line of those “fake found footage” horror movies. I’m starting to think the Blair Witch Project was real, and the curse of the Witch is an unending stream of crappy movies featuring grainy black-and-white footage of vague action with disappointing twist endings.

– Linda McMahon is no longer running unopposed for her Republican Senate seat. Oh crap, the videos are coming, I can just feel it.

– Ken Anderson is back on the road with TNA after getting a few weeks off. Did anyone notice he was gone?

– WWE is apparently the largest donators to Donald Trump’s charity, and apparently are the only reason it has any money at all, given how little Trump himself donates. That’s right, in this instance (and this one only), Vince is not the one being compared to Satan.

– Stephanie McMahon revealed in an interview that WWE Creative consists of 16 writers, with Vince, obviously, having final say over everything. So which of those 16 am I supposed to be blaming for NXT?

– Apparently WWE wants to turn the Rock-Cena match into a fanbase-splitting event, similar to…sigh…Team Edward and Team Jacob in Twilight. When you’re using Twilight as an example of writing to aspire to…well, you know. And hey, it only took one person to write that crap. WWE has, let me remind you again, SIXTEEN writers.

– Kurt Angle claimed last week on Twitter that WWE keeps knocking at his door. For some reason, he neglected to mention the flaming bag of dog poop they keep leaving behind.

1. John Cena It’s really quite the conundrum: when he drops the pandering and really kicks someone’s ass, we all love him. Except we’re not supposed to love him for doing so because apparently it’s “crossing the line”. Do they even know where the end point for this Kane feud is?

2. CM Punk The hard sell promo against Ace was really the one we’ve been waiting for since these two started butting heads, and even though I’m pretty sure we’re heading towards Ace getting kicked out of the GM position and Foley taking his rightful spot, at least there’s some real intrigue into how Punk will possibly retain next Sunday.

3. Chris Jericho Not quite the return match you were expecting, but nothing about Jericho so far has been, has it? Plus, it’s so effective that people are already trying to figure out if WWE is crazy enough to have Jericho win the Royal Rumble without actually having to do anything.

4. Dolph Ziggler It was a night of money promos last week, and though it might get overlooked after how Raw ended, Ziggler showed that he can cut a promo with the best WWE has at the moment. At this point, I have to say, he’s pretty much outgrown needing Vicki Guerrero to get his heat for him.

5. Daniel Bryan The sight of Bryan fleeing from the brawl in the ring as Smackdown ended, then demanding Teddy if next he’ll be required to wrestle “on the moon” was an enduring one. And let me tell you, in the land where that promo goes on five more minutes, Bryan continues mocking the idea of moon wrestling. Believe me, it’s hilarious when you think about it.

6. Brodus Clay The stuff with Vicki was the right idea, but I think WWE might have underestimated exactly how much the fans like William Regal. Plus, it’s not like he danced badly.

7. Jack Swagger It took a whole lot of help to get Swagger another title, but maybe they’ll stop using him as a glorified bodyguard/job boy for Ziggler

8. Cody Rhodes A good match with Justin Gabriel, hopefully Cody will get a couple other matches to shine before what will likely be a serviceable, but unspectacular, rumoured feud with his brother.

9. Ted Dibiase Between wrestling on Smackdown with food poisoning and then suffering a hand injury on weekend house shows, it may not look like a good week for Ted, but he’s really impressed by gutting it out when other people might take time off to recover.

10. Santino Marella Hey look, they learned how to make idiocy like a blindfold match entertaining: treat it like the joke it is.

Inactive List as of 01.16.12

WWE Raw

– Alberto Del Rio, out 6-8 weeks as of December 26th (ACL)
– Kevin Nash, out 6 weeks as of December 18th (back)
– Kharma, out 9 months as of May 23rd (pregnancy)
– Rey Mysterio, out indefinitely as of August 23rd (knee surgeries)

WWE SmackDown

– Christian, out 6-8 weeks as of November 13th (ankle)
– Layla El, out indefinitely as of May 23rd (ACL/MCL surgery)
– Randy Orton, out 4-6 weeks as of December 30th (back)
– Sin Cara, out 6-9 months as of November 20th (ruptured patella)

TNA

– Chris Sabin, out indefinitely (shoulder)
– Ric Flair, out 4-6 months as of September 14th (tricep)

Transactions

– Evan Bourne, RAW, out 60 days as of January 17th (Wellness)

– Randy Orton, SD!, returned to action on weekend house shows

– The Big Show, SD!, day-to-day as of January 17th (back)

– Ted Dibiase, SD!, day-to-day as of Janury 22nd (hand)

WWE

WWE Champion: CM Punk
– 64 day reign, defeated Alberto Del Rio on November 20th (Survivor Series PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Dolph Ziggler, Royal Rumble PPV

World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan
– 36 day reign, defeated The Big Show by cashing in Money in the Bank on December 18th (TLC PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Big Show vs Mark Henry, Triple Threat Steel Cage Match, Royal Rumble PPV

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes
– 157 day reign, defeated Ezekiel Jackson on August 12th (Smackdown)

**NEW** WWE United States Champion: Jack Swagger
– 7 day reign, defeated Zack Ryder on January 16th (Raw)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Epico and Primo
– 8 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne on January 15th (house show)

WWE Divas’ Champion: Beth Phoenix
– 106 day reign, defeated Kelly Kelly on October 2nd (Hell in a Cell PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Bobby Roode
– 81 day reign, defeated James Storm on November 3rd (Impact)

TNA Tag Team Champions: Crimson and Matt Morgan
– 67 day reign, defeated Mexican America on November 17th (Impact)

TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries
– 127 day reign, defeated Brian Kendrick on September 11th (No Surrender PPV)

TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim
– 71 day reign, defeated Velvet Sky on November 13th (Turning Point PPV)

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne
– 81 day reign, defeated Miss Tessmacher and Tara on November 3rd (Impact)

TNA Television Champion: Robbie E
– 71 day reign, defeated Eric Young on November 13th (Turning Point PPV)

De Marco has The Wrestling 5&1

Frame has The Wrestling Framework

Kirk has The Wrestling Sandwich

Renken has Going Broadway

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That’s our show, That Damned Cook is in tomorrow, I will be back next week. Plus, don’t forget to look for me this Tuesday in the Games Zone for Four Player Co-op.

Here it is, your Moment of Buddy

Cars? Buddy Only Watches The Lion King.
Oh, And The Little Mermaid.

Have a good one, and always be a fan.