The Tuesday Wire 1.31.12: One Day Only!

Lots to talk about this week. I spent the entire week writing this so some of it isn’t as relevant as it may have been before RAW aired last night, but most of it still is. The build to WrestleMania is now merging off of the ramp and onto the highway and everybody is abuzz. So am I. Methinks (freethinks?) this column is about to start getting into some fun topics in the coming weeks. Let’s get to it. But first…

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I have yet to see the PPV, but some preliminary thoughts will certainly make due until I can find some time to check it out. I would have preferred that they extended the Punk/Zig Zag match, but I would have also preferred that the match didn’t involve John Laurinitis shennanigans. From most accounts the WWE Title match lived up to peoples’ expectations but could have been better without the aformentioned chicanery. Assuming they do Punk v. Jericho at ‘Mania, I’m hoping we either get a one-on-one Punk/Zag match at Elimination Chamber or an extended segment in the Chamber match if that’s the way they go with it.

Do we think the RAW Elimination Chamber will be for the title or will it be for the #1 Contendership? I guess it makes the most sense for RAW to have the #1 Contendership on the line while D. Bryan has to defend his World Title inside the Chamber on the SmackDown side. Will we get another TZZM/Punk match at the February PPV?

I saw at least one person in the comments section on some column or newsbit here on 411 mention that Jericho should have been #30 and won the match by default without even getting involved when the last two guys in the ring eliminated each other. That would have been a much different way to end the Rumble and would have fit in very well with Y2J’s current angle. As it was, though, it sounded like a great one-on-one segment between Jericho and Sheamus to close the match and I am looking forward to checking it out.

I’m glad, as Randle mentioned yesterday, that they’re behind Brodus Clay, but instead of giving him a squash on the PPV why not spend that time having him commandeer the Rumble match with his antics for a while? People will remember that type of moment. The Drew McIntyre squash will be forgotten almost immediately. Not a big deal in the long run, but it would have been a cool moment in the big match.

They damn well better do Kane v. Ryder at WrestleMania and have LIIZ get his revenge.

Sheamus was built up as a frontrunner for the match, but in a much different way than they normally build the guy who is going to win the Rumble. In recent memory, the guy who wins the Rumble match has a storyline going on and winning the Rumble helps to advance his position in the story arc.

– 2002: Triple H makes his triumphant return to take back the top spot in the WWF.
– 2003: Brock Lesnar had to win the Rumble in order to get a rematch for the World Title that Paul Heyman had barred him from receiving.
– 2004: Chris Benoit was barred from any World Title shots by Paul Heyman and the only way to earn one was by winning the Rumble match.
– 2005: Batista gets his guaranteed World Title shot which allows him to finally turn face against Triple H.
– 2006: Rey Mysterio wins it for Eddy Guerrero.
– 2007: The Undertaker earns his shot at the World Title that Kennedy continually stopped him from getting.
– 2008: John Cena returns to get a shot at the title he lost due to injury.
– 2009: Randy Orton worked his way through the McMahon family to get to Triple H.
– 2010: Edge returns to begin getting his revenge on Jericho.
– 2011: Alberto Del Rio fulfills his destiny.
– 2012: Sheamus is tired of beating up Jinder Mahal.

Sheamus has been doing absolutely nothing but beating random guys up (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and I figured they would give him a strong showing in the Rumble match and kick off some kind of feud for him within the match. Instead, he wins the damn thing! I didn’t see that coming even a tiny bit, but I like it and I think it was a tremendous decision. Hopefully this is the final push that puts Sheamus up into the main event and keeps him there. His face character was immediately embraced by the crowd and he really has the “it” factor. He has “it” in spades, if we’re going to get down to it.

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Plenty of news to talk about this week. Interviews and returns and speculation and silly Hulk Hogan talk!

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The Zig Zag Man has been making the rounds on the interview circuit recently. He spent the past week hyping up his second straight title match at the Royal Rumble but also spoke about an array of other topics. He invoked the Spirit Squad name and as far as I’m concerned he picked Hacksaw Jim Duggan to win the Rumble this year. He may have been trying to tell us that Hacksaw was his favourite ever winner, but we all know he’s actually pulling for him this year.

Like a lot of wrestling fans (and wrestlers that are still fans), TZZM gets excited about the Rumble PPV every year. I love how he talks about busting his ass in the ring, too. It comes off as partially in character, but you know he means it when he says that he wants to be the absolute best in the ring and he feels like he’s getting close to being a guy that management thinks of as a true go-to guy. I think it’s been made clear that I am a humongous fan of this guy.

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WWE is set to start producing “webisodes” beginning in February, whatever that means. It’s going to be original Youtube content, but what will it be? Matches? Mr. McMahon and His Ass (and his ass and his ass)?

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Hulk Hogan is another guy doing interviews and he’s just being good old Hogan. He claims that he was offered the lead role in The Wrestler but turned it down because “If you put me in the film as a wrestler people are going to say, ‘No credibility, Hulk Hogan isn’t a good actor’. Of course they originally had Nic Cage in the role before Mickey Rourke signed on, but who knows — maybe the studio tried to get Hogan before it became an Aronofsky movie. He also claims that the battery pack in his back (something like that) can get him “aroused”. I’m pretty comfortable in not continuing with the story.

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Paul Roma (!) is upset that he is not included as one of the Four Horsemen being inducted into the Hall of Fame this year. He complains about people like Randy Savage not being in (wait ’til 2013, he’ll be there) while Drew Carey gets entered. It’s the “celebrity wing”, Paul. Before you bitch about stuff, at least know what you’re talking about. I hear he and RVD were going to be one-shot-deal Royal Rumble entrants but couldn’t work out a deal in time.

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Johnny Gargano has reportedly been cleared to return to working out and is likely to be back in the ring for the WrestleMania weekend shows for DGUSA. That’s great to hear, and I just hope he’s coming back so quickly because it wasn’t as bad of an injury as we thought and not because he just feels like he needs to get back in the ring ASAP.

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Another note from Dragon Gate USA is that Low Ki has been well received backstage since he returned to a Gabe Sapolsky-run company a few weeks back at EVOLVE 10. He watched the matches during the DGUSA iPPV and offered his advice to the younger guys in the locker room. DGUSA has teased Low Ki v. CIMA for WM weekend in March but it has not yet been confirmed.

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WWE management is said to be “back on board” with the Mason Ryan push! That means that “RIP DOFF” will continue casting as soon as he gets back on TV and a script will be in the works!

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In an update on the WWE webshows, they plan to acquire Z! True Long Island Story along with some new shows such as “Santino’s Foreign Exchange” along with other shows such as “WWE Presents”, “Download” and “WWE Inbox”. That last one sounds interesting. I wonder if they’re going to go “Byte This” style with any of these shows.

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The Miz wants to challenge former Cleveland Cavs and present Miami Heat star LeBron James to a match at this year’s WrestleMania. I say they do a tag match! MizShow can return for ONE NIGHT ONLY to take on the team of LeShaq! Book it Vinnie Mac!

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There have been a lot of comments over the past two weeks about a third Triple H v. Undertaker match at WrestleMania — people are debating whether or not it should happen and if Shawn Michaels should step in as guest referee; others are talking about how a young guy should get the shot and there can be some debate over whether somebody should end the streak or not. Now that the Royal Rumble is behind us, the next important thing to discuss is WrestleMania. I already started doing so a couple weeks back with my prospective WrestleMania XXVIII card (which we will delve back into when the event comes closer), and since The Streak is a hotly contested subject each and every year we can use it as the topic to really kick off the conversation on the Road to WrestleMania.

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SHADE has some thoughts on the history of Undertaker versus Shawn Michaels and Triple H:

“Undertaker vs Triple H/Shawn Michaels can be a story 15 years in the making starting from Ground Zero in 1997 and ending in 2012. After a no contest at GZ, Shawn Michaels beats Undertaker in the first HIAC match to become number one contender, in which he won the title. After that, he defended it against Undertaker at the Royal Rumble, in which Shawn Michaels supposedly took a bad bump off of a casket, forcing him to retire for over 4 years. This led to Triple H taking over DX, which propelled him into superstardom.

Flash forward to 2009 and 2010, where Shawn Michaels put everything on the line to try and end Undertaker’s streak, to officially show that he’s better than him but failed to do so. After Triple H first failed to do it in 2011, the natural story progression should be for him to also put his career on the line against Undertaker, to avenge his friend, but to also show that he’s above both of them. Michaels as referee makes sense since the storyline started with him and includes the two people he should theoretically have the most respect for in this business. It also adds intrigue to the match itself since it wouldn’t be the same match twice. Could Michaels screw Taker? Could he screw HHH out of jealousy? Would he call it down the middle? Does he have a newfound respect for Undertaker and won’t try to do anything wrong to him? There are a lot of possibilities that makes Michaels as the ref an interesting addition to the match and helps close this long story for good with Michaels retired, HHH retired, and Undertaker being 20-0 at WrestleMania.”

Before anything else, it must be pointed out that if they didn’t acknowledge the ‘Taker/HHH match from WrestleMania x-Seven, they won’t be bringing up anything that happened when Triple H was still primarily called Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Beyond that, it’s not a bad idea but in my opinion it is too self-serving for the three men involved. Also, Triple H and Shawn Michaels have gone back and forth over the past ten years hating and loving each other, and now that Shawn is retired they shouldn’t bring it back up again. Shawn and Triple H are seen as equals and they see each other as equals and it needs to stay that way. Triple H also will not be retiring this year, so that’s out too. Just my opinion.

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gpjunk adds his opinion to the mix:

“Adding HBK as special ref to HHH/Taker makes Taker appear somewhat vulnerable to a defeat. That is the biggest challenge in booking Taker’s WM match each year but they have been doing a good job of it. Three year ago he was vulnerable because he was facing HBK and HBK is HBK. Two years ago he was vulnerable because it was HBK fighting for his career. Last year he was vulnerable because he was facing HHH and HHH is HHH. This year if they want to do a rematch they have to create a reason for the vulnerability. They could just try to do it based on the fact that Taker didn’t walk out on his own after last year’s match but that would require Taker to seem worried about his physical condition which just doesn’t fit the character. They could have HHH fighting for his career but I don’t think they will do that as they still want HHH to have a match every now and then and it would just be a less successful rehash of HBK/Taker. So if they really want to do a rematch, HBK as the ref is the best way to do it.”

I just don’t like the idea of having HBK in there as the ref. He left active competition as a respectful man knowing that he put his career on the line and that on the night of WrestleMania he was simply not the better man. It would be insulting to Shawn to have him come back as the referee in a match between his best friend and the man who put him into retirement. Why portray him as vengeful toward ‘Taker or jealous of Triple H now?

The best way, I’d say, to do a Triple H/Taker rematch this year (if they must), make it a Last Man Standing match. That covers the vulnerability issue you bring up. Undertaker doesn’t have to be worried about whether or not he is strong enough to beat Triple H again, but as a man he wants to prove to Triple H that last year was not the way he rolls, as it were. Triple H lost the match last year but he was the last man standing. That would be a perfect way to bring up the stipulation.

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Andre the Midget appreciates SHADE and gpjunk then adds some more:

“should have elabroated in my original post. I think it adds more intrigue because now you got HBK in there and he’s got an ax to grind with UT for putting him on the shelf. He’s HHH’s buddy so he’ll have no problem helping him out, then when you get to the match itself Shawn starts to have a moral dilemma about the whole thing and in the middle of the match starts to tell HHH that if he’s gonna do it to do it own his own. You can have HBK not putting his hand down for 3 at various times in the match after big spots(chokeslam, pedigree, tombstone,chair shots, whathaveya) and that helps HHH and Taker to do there extended rest spots like the did last year but now you got one guy or the other jawing with HBK to keep it intresting.

And just for my own selfish reasons I just want to see HBK back in some kind of capacity. He’s freakin’ HBK!! He add’s something to the product when he’s on screen. And this story he’s already built into so that’s why I thought it would be a good idea. Thanks for posting my comments!!”

You are so welcome, Mister Midget, for posting your comments. That’s what we’re all about here on the Twire. I love that I have been able to participate in legitimate debates with (marginally) intelligent people such as the 411 commenters. I’ve said it many times in the past; my purpose in writing this column is to entertain and interact.

I like the idea of HBK coming back with a little bit of revenge on his mind only to realize early on in the match that he isn’t that kind of person anymore. It’s much better than him coming back on HHH’s side and turning the WM match into almost a 2-on-1 situation. I still prefer the Last Man Standing idea, but I wouldn’t object if they did it as you described. I don’t love having him intentionally not count either of their shoulders down during the course of the match though. Just let him call it down the middle once he makes that realization and then somewhere near the end of the match give him an obvious chance to hit a superkick on ‘Taker and give Triple H the win but not take it, leading to the Undertaker pinning Triple H with the Tombstone piledriver. If they were to go with HHH v. ‘Taker w/ HBk as the ref, that’s how I would go about it.

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RockerDropper closes the reader comment section of this Discussion Point, referencing my opinion that a younger guy should get a shot at Undertaker at ‘Mania but not end the streak:

“Completely disagree. ‘Taker can’t be that far from retirement. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if this is his last Mania. Ergo the “youngster” shouldn’t job but should in fact end the streak!”

A few years back I may have jumped right up and agreed with you, but by now I am pretty solid in the opinion that The Streak is not to be broken. For the right guy, though, I would be willing to not only loosen my stance on that matter but even cheer for Undertaker to lose. For 2012 I just don’t see a guy who could do it. Sheamus doesn’t need it, I don’t believe Barrett could do it and there really isn’t anybody else that is in that position right now. I’m actually beginning to convince myself that one last Triple H v. Undertaker rematch is the best way to go this year. Maybe let ‘Taker reach 20-0 at WM28 and then take a defeat at WM29 to end his career with a 20-1 record at WrestleMania. My pick for the guy to beat him: Dean Ambrose. He’s a guy I could pull for. Outside of that I don’t see myself rooting for anybody else to end The Undertaker’s winning streak.

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So now that brings this part of the discussion to and end and we open it up one more time. Have at it with these questions:

1) Should Triple H v. Undertaker happen at WrestleMania XXVIII?
1a) Should Shawn Michaels be the guest referee if they go with that match?

Bonus) Do you like the idea of Triple H v. Undertaker in a Last Man Standing match?

**Note: Undertaker confronted Triple H on Monday, which I’d say pretty much confirms that it will happen. The questions above remain unchanged.

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The comments this week were all about TNA or the Undertaker/Triple H/Shawn Michaels WrestleMania business, so I may as well incorporate the comments into the Impact Wrestling discussion.

Dr Wiki explains his positives and negatives:

“Good thing you started watching TNA right now when they actually have good storylines and matches.

TV Title. No More Eric Young. Please.”

Agreed all around. I don’t understand why they had Crimson beat Magnus in 2 minutes — it’s something both WWE and TNA are guilty of, though. So I guess I do understand, I just don’t understand why they think it’s a good booking move. If the idea is to end with a heel beatdown, why not just have the heel’s partner interrupt the match? And there’s something about Eric Young… I have no problem with a comedy character. I’ve come to love Santino. But EY, there’s just something a little off about the character and it bugs me more than it makes me laugh. There are some fun things about the character (I love the random collar-and-elbow lockups) but it’s not a good enough character to get as much TV time as it does.

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BigDaveJ likes how TNA is using more experienced guys to help out the younger talent:

“nice to see you have given TNA a go and found it ok, it’s been much improved for 3 maybe 4 months now, since that superb move of doing the BFG series.

need to try giving WWe a chance also myself, but hmmm still unsure.”

You’re right about the 6-month plan, although from my experience it has been a 6-month plan, a 2-month plan — sometimes a 15-minute plan. You’re right about the older guys helping the younger guys, too.

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Col continues the talk, which proceeds in a surprsingly positive manner:

“Just given up on WWE again and gone back to Impact.

Now I’m just hoping Morrison turns up in TNA when his no compete clause ends and even better would be Bourne getting himself fired and going there too. Both those guys would be fantastic in a company where they let you be yourself.”

I think you’re a little blinded by disappointment in WWE. The promos are just as scripted in TNA as they are in WWE. TNA doesn’t send everybody out there with a pat on the back and an idea where to lead the story. As far as I know, that’s how it is. I’m not quite sold on TNA (it’s only been a few weeks) but I am enjoying it. TNA used to be a place where you could be yourself (ish) but it’s really no different from WWE now.

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the ghost of Buddy Rogers continues the lauding of the TNA product:

“You know, except for the first year or so after Hogan and Bischoff came on board, TNA has never been as bad as people made it out to be. Right now, it’s doing very well. Personally, I could live without Garrett Bischoff (and his father and Hogan, for that matter) and EY needs a new gimmick, but aside from that, they’re hitting on all cylinders. For those of us who don’t enjoy the WWE product (personally, I haven’t watched the E in years) Impact is really paying off right now.”

They are pretty close to hitting on all cylinders, as you say, but they need to get the tag division refocused. I am actually somewhat interested in the Garrett Bischoff stuff, and the segment on the past two episodes (before the one I’ll speak about below) were short and to the point. That’s a plus.

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JR approves of me treating TNA like TNA treats Jeff Hardy:

“Good for you Nick to give TNA another chance. For all of the nonsensical stuff they put out there for the past few years, it seems that they have made a turn for the better since Roode won the championship.

Outside of the TV Title (Get that belt onto AJ or Daniels pronto!) every major belt has a nice storyline to it. The promos aren’t forced and they are turning a corner. Let’s just hope they realize this is the way to go in the future.”

I wish they would redesign the TV title. The World Title has gone through two redesigns (not including Jeff’s personal belt) since the TV title was first introduces as the Legends Title. It worked for that distinction, but it doesn’t fit the bill for the way a TV title should look. It’s too grandiose and… red. And I love red.

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G-Walla is pretty much a TNA dissenter but is willing to give it another go:

“I’m gonna dissagree with most of the commenters and say that I’ve watched TNA a few times every few months, and it typically goes decent show, ’cause I expect shit. Then the next show kinda wears at the nerves a bit. The third week is just unbearably bad that I stop watching altogether, again.

That said, I did catch about 20-30 minutes last week. The AJ-Gunner match and the Crimson-Magnus match. I won’t comment on the match quality, because I don’t expect stellar wrestling on the undercard, especially with relative rookies involved, but I have to say those few minutes were much better than the last time I watched. I’m much more likely to turn on TNA this week because of that.”

That’s pretty similar to how I feel. The last time I watched TNA before the past few weeks was the night the Flair/Lethal promo aired. I can’t even remember what the next segment was, but it sucked and so did the following one and the show started falling to crap so I tuned out and went away. I read some results that made the taste even more sour and I didn’t look back. So far that hasn’t happened. Fingers crossed!

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Guest#8215 appreciates TNA as well as WWE:

“To be honest I have always preferred the WWE, although only slightly to WCW during the Monday Night Wars, and since TNA have been around I’ve watched various shows over the years and it’s never kept me hooked longer one show every few months, with it being through stupid booking decisions or farcical occurrences but over the past month or two I’ve watched and kept coming back for more, it’s still far from perfect but I’ve got to say it’s been greatly improved in my opinion recently. They’ll never be bigger than the WWE but that doesn’t matter, if there’s two companies putting out ‘good’ products only us fans win. People need to loosen up and the trolls need to seriously quit while they still can.”

My gosh, you almost sound like a wrestling fan! In fact, you sound exactly like a wrestling fan! You don’t have a bias toward one company over another — you preferred WWE(F) over WCW and the same goes with TNA now, but you don’t have the mentality that WWE is on top and TNA is a shithole that so many people have expressed (and vice versa). It’s inevitable that you’re going to generally prefer the product of one company over the others, but that is a much different circumstance than that of the people who prefer one over the other and in the same breath they praise one show and blindly bash the other. Good on you.

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wcwfan misses the moments:

“The biggest problem with wrestling(WWE and TNA)besides the obvious things storylines,etc….is that both shows are so bland, it’s like the same ol,same ol every week. I think what made wcw and wwf so good during the monday night wars, was that the shows were so random on a regular basis, and random in a good way, as anything would happen. Anything from wrestler sit ins, to Austin destroying everything, to Sting dropping from the rafters…you just knew SOMETHING would happen. It’s just so status quo nowadays. I’m not saying bring back the attitude era, but the element of wondering what will happen next is gone. We’ve raved about many matches, but for the most part it was the MOMENTS that created huge buzz. I mean, the wrestling world didn’t go a blaze from any of the great matches that were had in the past year….we went a blaze from CM Punk shooting off at the mouth(random), and was on the edge of our seat as to what would happen next or what he would say the following week. But surely enough, everything went back to normal and once again Raw is just something I watch just because it’s on. Both TNA and WWE tend to put on great matches from time to time, and while good to great matches are ALWAYS needed, I still find myself yawning throughout both shows as there is no intrigue.”

I don’t have a problem with the lack of a “what’s going to happen next?” feeling, though every once in a while it is nice to be almost on the edge of my seat anticipating what the next twist is going to be. For me, though, I just like to see interesting (predictable or otherwise) yet simple pro wrestling stories. There is nothing wrong with “wrestler A is a dick – wrestler B gets rubbed the wrong way by A’s actions – both men escalate the sutuation”. I’ll take good wrestling, which we’re getting on a week-to-week basis on all three main shows (RAW, SD and Impact) as well as ROH’s TV show, over a chaotic atmosphere every time. Moments such as James Storm winning the World Title, Zack Ryder pinning Mark Henry to finally earn his US Title shot and others like them are what come from halfway decent and simple pro wrestling stories, and I can dig that.

Sucka!

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TNA came back with another strong episode of Impact Wrestling this past Thursday night. I am becoming more and more annoyed with the piped in crowd noise; yes, the quiet lull of the Impact Zone and the county fair-like sound when the audience does make some noise is not fitting for television, but they’re significantly overcompensating for it. The dubbed in crowd noise is needed, but it needs to be toned down a lot. The constant buzz is too much and it is just ridiculous to hear the escalating clap when you can clearly see everybody in the audience sitting on their hands.

I also think they misunderstood my praise of the backstage camera stuff last week. I am a fan of the candid-camera style they’ve gone with and I like a good segment with the camera guy doing a quick interview WWE.com style, but they went way overboard with it on Thursday. Give me some traditional backstage interviews too! It’s also a lot less jarring than the constant cutting to a camera with significantly different quality and mich lower lighting. The interviews were all good, though, and treated wrestling matches like legitimate competition! I specifically enjoyed Tara’s interview after she won the #1 contender’s match. She went over her and Gail’s past and explained what the rivalry was about, what it meant to her and how serious it was. Very simple and very effective.

Alex Shelley is back with a fire under his ass and I couldn’t love it more. Zema Ion is a great addition to the X Division roster and I hope in the coming months he gets a shot to play a more integral role in the title picture. Really fun match here and the title match at AAO should be a barnburner, as they say.

The other major title picture, the TNA World Heavyweight Title, is a joy to watch develop as well. I am amazed at how great Bully Ray is, Roode is playing a great classic not-quite chickenshit heel (somewhat like late 1999 Triple H), Jeff Hardy is being Jeff Hardy (which in this case is a good statement) and James Storm is poised to break out big time. I am highly anticipating Storm v. Roode at LockDown in a couple months.

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– Jerry Lawler appears to be wearing a shirt to cull favor with Triple H. Maybe he should give it to Laurinitis.

– Ace inne–inteduces the 6 participants in the RAW Elimination Chamber match. It’s going to be Punk v. Kingston v. The Zig Zag Man v. Miz v. Truth v. Jericho for the WWE Title!

– Holy shit Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk!

– Punk is one of the first guys I have EVER seen in wrestling actually properly carry the tune to “Na Na Hey Hey!” Good show!

– Ace is a man of his word… but didn’t Clownshoes say he was definitely going to screw Punk over? So wouldn’t that make him a liar?

– CM Punk with shades of Edge after winning the King of the Ring in 2001! Billy Gunn and Clownshoes Funkhauser should team up and do commentary on Superstars.

– And here comes the World Champ! YES! YES! Wooooooorld Heavyweight Champion! YES! YES! YES!

– Punk vs Brian trending on Twitter. Audience member: (in a hoarse voice) “Shut up Bryan!”

– Punk wants to give Kansas City the best wrestling match in the world and Sheamus wants to hang out with his WrestleMania opponent!

– What’s the story fellas?

– Nice… Sheamus has added to his primal scream. “WrestleMania Fellaaaaaaaaa!”

– Hey it’s a commercial for The Rock’s new movie, “Journey 2”! Or as I call it, “Who Gives a Shit?”

– Nice touch having Barrett up in the skybox. It keeps him from physically interfering in the match, for one. It’s also visually something different and that makes it feel somewhat special and makes Barrett come off as more of a star. I also like that Mathews was tuned in on the commentary but Barrett was not, so he was there only to answer questions and not to just interject at his own will. It flowed very well. I’d like to see them do this more often.

– Cole claims that it’s “not often that you see the Viper do that”, referring to the top rope superplex. That has been one of Orton’s signature spots for almost a year now. Come on, Cole. None of us expect much from you, but what a stupid call. Pay attention to matches instead of working on your poor heel character.

– Orton and TZZM had a very strong match. Both men seemed a bit off before the commercial, but pretty soon after they came back the match picked up significantly.

– William Regal has conjoined twin daughters. Would it be inappropriate to make a joke about the cause?

– Pretty shitty squash there for the Funkasaurus. I still love his leg wiggle waves, though. Mesmerizing.

– Cole is turning in favor of Daniel Bryan. Maybe that’s what Jericho meant when he said that the world was coming to an end.

– But he’s still not fully on board. Who’s the real hypocrite, Cole?

– Wow, but then he notices that Punk switched arms for the bulldog. Ya know, Cole used to be a decent commentator, but then they went with the three-man booth, then he turned heel and then on top of all that he got stuck alone with King. A true recipe for disaster. He and Taz as well as he and JBL had great chemistry together, and Cole was very good in his role as the straight-laced play-by-play hyperbole guy.

– Absolutely great match between Bryan and Punk. My wife mentioned that she thought Jericho might interfere, and her reasoning made me love her even more. “The two of them are so evenly matched. If he didn’t interfere the match would have gone on forever.” If I wasn’t already married to her I’d ask her to marry me.

– “Miz kicked my dog so I had to kick his cat.” – R Truth

– The crowd was hot all night, but when Cena came out and embraced the hate all over Kane’s ass (should I maybe rephrase that?) they were red hot. Cena, you can’t mask the hate with a smile, sir. I’m onto you!

– Disappointed that Kharma didn’t run down after the Divas Title match, but I guess they should stick with doing one thing at a time. Plus the dominant win can give Beth a little more time to look strong again before they feed her to Kharma at ‘Mania.

– I wonder how many people had already tuned out before ‘Taker’s music hit. All that just to lead to Undertaker’s return? It would have been a great moment (not as good as last year, but still darned good) if it wasn’t preceeded with an incredibly boring 45-minutes of Laurinitis trying to talk over the crowd while Triple H made fun of him and neither said anything worthwhile.

OVERALL, the first RAW on the last major highway toward WrestleMania was really, really good. Two great matches (Orton v. TZZM and Punk v. Bryan), one very strong match in Miz v. Kofi and some proper build to both the Elimination Chamber PPV and WrestleMania made this way more fun to watch than last week’s crapfest.

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Seems like I’ve sufficiently run out of time for the week. Get discussing, people! The road to WrestleMania is officially upon us!

Cook is in tomorrow. He will likely talk about being in St. Louis for the Rumble PPV.

Next week: More in-depth Rumble talk and lots of other goodies.

– Nicholas A. Marsico