wrestling / Columns

The Wednesday Wire: 2.15.12: Poor Zack

February 15, 2012 | Posted by Nick Marsico

I must admit that I may or may not have been introduced to Man v. Food while writing this column, so there is a possibility that I was somewhat distracted. On top of that, I’ve been sick for almost 2 weeks, my wife is aaaaaaaaalmost over pneumonia and our son is getting agitated that mommy and daddy are without as much energy as usual. Enjoy.

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Time for some wrestling,
Best in the world is IL’s
CM Pastrami

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I’m getting excited for WrestleMania weekend, but not necessarily for the final show. I’m looking forward to the build, sure, but after the stinker that was WrestleMania XXVII I am very cautious about spending that much money on one show that has a history of not being worth that much money. There are four major indy shows set to happen on Friday and Saturday, however, and this week’s spotlight will be on the Friday night offering of Dragon Gate USA. You BETTER buy this show.

Without any further ado, I bid you adieu, but read this I hope that you do.

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WWNLive.com

Dragon Gate will be offering their March 30th iPPV for the amazing price of only $1.99! ONE DOLLAR FREAKIN’ 99 CENTS! There’s only one match announce thus far, but it’s a big one in Low Ki v. Pac, which is MORE than enough alone for that price, but there will be much more announced. Here’s Gabe Sapolsky with the official announcement:

“We are very proud of our Dragon Gate USA brand. We want you to see it.

We know our in ring action and overall presentation have reached a new level. We are excited and confident. However, we have to admit that our iPPV buy rate has hit a plateau.

Don’t get me wrong, we are very happy with our buys, and they have slowly increased over our first year at WWNLive.com. We have just hit a wall that we are looking to break through.

We don’t have a TV station backing us or a corporation willing to dump millions of dollars into the product. We are a self-sufficient independent promotion.

This has a lot of advantages. We don’t have corporate suits with no idea about wrestling telling us what we can or can’t do. There are no politics. We don’t have to cater the masses by bringing in washed up names to try to get ratings. Really, we don’t have to answer to anyone. We can put out the product we want with the interest of best serving you.

However, the negative is that it’s tough to gain exposure and get new eyeballs on DGUSA and EVOLVE without the backing of a TV network and/or major sponsorship.

So we have decided to take matters into our own hands.

We are going to take advantage of the fact that we produce iPPV in house at www.WWNLive.com. We are going to offer the March 30th “Open The Ultimate Gate 2012” live iPPV featuring PAC vs. Low Ki for just $1.99.

Yes, we will lose money on this and we are giving up one of our most important shows of the year for just $1.99. We know it will be worth it because you will be blown away when you see the current DGUSA brand.

I need to make it clear that the $1.99 price gets you the live showing only. This is a one-time-only very special offer. We can never make an offer like this again. We will also offer the March 30th iPPV at our regular price of $14.99, which will get you the live showing and then On Demand access.

As an added bonus, this isn’t just a promotion to attract new fans. This is our way of thanking those of you who have supported us over our first year of iPPV at WWNLive.com.

This is as straight forward as I can get. We want you to see Dragon Gate USA and EVOLVE. We have hit a new peak with both brands. Now on March 30th you will get a chance to witness what it is all about for just $1.99.”

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The Big Fat F supplies us with many thoughts:

“Ok, I have to admit that I’m getting sick of Brodus Clay’s current slot. I’d like to see him involved in something other than random squash matches. Also, I’m not digging the cross body-block as a finisher. I’d rather him do the Ultimate Warriors running off the ropes splash. Maybe followed up by a little Boogie Woogie Man Jimmy Valiant holding the rope “wiggly knee dancing” too.

I get to watch ROH on TV and the more I see of Kevin Steen, the more I like him. I have to say that I absolutely love the Briscoes. I don’t know why the WWE (or TNA) wouldn’t want them. Probably for the better though because I doubt they’d let them keep their name.

However, I do agree that Antonio Cesaro is an improvement over Claudio Castognoli. CC is a name that people would shit on had it come from the WWE.

Jinder Mahal should be repackaged as either The Patriot or the Mr. America masked gimmick. Let the fans love him than he can unmask, turn heel and go back to being the evil foreigner that we need in wrestling. And I believe that any Middle Eastern wrestler should wear curly boots. It should be law.”

The crossbody block is a fine move for him to do and I’d be happy with it being over enough for the crowd to buy it finishing a match, but I agree that it should not be his main finishing move. The boogity woogity flippity floppity dancing would be a plus and I could go with a backsplash of some sort. Maybe the crossbody can lead directly into a big splash. More importantly though, as you said, is the squash match situation. It’s growing tiresome. Have somebody like Jack Swagger take offense to his silliness and boom, simple feud there.

Steen is indeed awesome. I bought the DVD over the weekend but haven’t had a chance to watch it yet. I’ve seen a few of the matches already and I was present for a few of them live, but there are a bunch of highly rated matches that I’ve wanted to check out for a while. The Briscoes got a tryout a while back with WWE and while they received a good reaction backstage, they were later told (by Johnny Ace, no less) that they weren’t getting an offer because they were not “cosmetically pleasing.”

I can’t wait for Claudio to debut, as well as Tyler Black and Jon Moxley. I know Black and Moxley did some house shows but there hasn’t been any news for a week or two. Antonio Cesaro and Dean Ambrose are fine names, but Seth Rollins suuuuuuucks.

And I believe the Middle Eastern thing was addressed by another commenter.

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fishstix has some thoughts on the Rumble:

“First off, that was the worst Rumble I’ve ever seen. A comedy PPV must have been Vince’s idea. All 3 announcers? Really? And When Bryan was hanging off Show’s arm, he should have tickled him, Show laughs & drops him. Johnny Ace made no sense at all. They should have a REAL Cyber Sunday where the fans get to book instead of choosing between a chair & a pipe. Yawn.”

The idea with Ace was that he was trying to “call it down the middle” but he’s such a buffoon that he couldn’t even mess up when he was trying to not interfere. The deal with the 3 commenters was decent enough. The Taboo Tuesday/Cyber Sunday voting system was indeed an absolute bomb, though.

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Dr Wiki offers his opinions on the divas, TZZM and AJ/Bryan:

“The Divas Division of the WWE should be something like this:

Top
Kharma – H
Beth Phoenix – H
Natalya – F
Sara Del Rey – F

Middle
K2 – F
The Bellas – H
Eve – F
Layla – F
Michelle McCool – H
Tamina – F

Bottom
Kaitlyn – F
AJ – H
Saraya Knight – F
Lingerie Football Chick – H

A Dolph Ziggler vs. Kharma feud would be interesting but at this time it will hurt Ziggler too much. Kharma needs to conquer the Divas Division before she becomes a threat to the guys.

AJ however needs to turn heel either at elimination Chamber or at WrestleMania. She can risk herself to help Daniel retain and he can he can finally say he loves her. Have her reveal she fully support Heel Daniel Bryan and make them a Vegan Power Couple.”

The Divas division list is spot on. If only there was ever a chance that SDR would ever get a shot in WWE. I’d also like to mention that Gail Kim looked like crap in her last WWE run but is kicking all kinds of ass in TNA right now. I’m agreeing with you and one or two others regarding TZZM v. Kharma right now, the only problem is that if he does make it up to the main event (and stays there); you pretty much lose the opportunity.

Bryan and AJ as a power couple would be awesome. Right now their relationship is uncomfortable (in a good way) but if she were to turn heel and finally have D-Bryan embrace her it would make them a fun act. He could then go all out about just how much he loves her and they can proclaim that not only are they vegans and environmentalists, but they are the most exemplary example of how true love looks.

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HeartBurnKid loves the idea of Kharma versus the Zag:

“Totally for. Kharma looked damn good in there against Ziggler, and I think they could work a decent match together. Plus, I’ve always thought Kharma/Kong/whatever is far too talented and has far too menacing a presence to be stuck in the “Divas” ghetto.”

It’s a shame TNA pushed her out the door because Hogan had to have his buddy the fuckin’ Lovesponge around. I’d like to see a match between her and Tara. TNA’s KO division is really getting good again and Kong would be a great fit in there.

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Guest#7555 is a nonbeliever in my believer status in The Zig Zag Man:

“Wow, refusing to call Dolph by his ring name and then saying he should with Kharma? Are you a fan of Ziggler or what?”

He’s one of my absolute favourites overall in wrestling right now. For some reason they continue to make him look like he can’t back up his words and he’s been made to look like a total chump. I said in a previous column that until he gets a legitimate (more or less) run with the WWE or World Title, he’s going to be TZZM or one of many other Zig Zag names. I have a feeling it might be a looooong time. I just don’t know why.

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“We’re not running for office you idiot. Do you even know– how do you work here?” – The Zig Zag Man

Monday Night RAW is starting off with a debate! The crowd is HOT for CM Punk tonight! They hate Laurinaitis and they hate Vickie even more! R-Truth gets more ridiculous every week and somehow it’s working and I don’t see him as a joke. Not even a little bit. I don’t expect him to be winning the WWE Title any time soon, but the crowd digs little Jimmy’s best friend and I like him too. Jericho and Punk were great as usual and the tension between them is already ridiculous. Imagine what it will be like if they let these two guys talk the way we know they can when the build for WrestleMania begins in earnest on 2/20.

Here’s one for the freshly returned Hidden Highlights: Kofi knew he had Jericho close to the ropes so he pulled in the arm so Y2J couldn’t grab them to save himself. Jericho got the rope with his foot, but it was still a great little thing on Kofi’s part.

The biggest story with the opening segment, in my eyes, was Kofi declaring that he was not an afterthought followed by kicking Jericho in the face. He didn’t win the match, but it’s a hard place to be in. That would have given Kofi some good momentum going into the PPV and even without winning at EC he would keep that momentum and parlay it into winning Money in the Bank and getting a good push through 2012. Didn’t happen, but it was a good match and I hope they intend to renew that push that they never followed through with a few years ago when Kofi was feuding with Orton.

“When a man challenges you and you back down, that makes you a coward.” – Shawn Michaels

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this one. The crowd was oddly lukewarm-ish toward Shawn (Punk outpopped him by a significant margin) and he was definitely not completely on his game. I can’t hold that against him, though, so I won’t. It didn’t even bother me; it’s just something to point out. The feeling I got was that they were hoping this would be something epic in the vein of the Michaels/Flair promo that saw Shawn tell ‘Naitch that he was going to have to shoot him Old Yeller style. It wasn’t what they got, but the point was made and I didn’t find myself bored, annoyed or bothered. That’s a weird way to review something. My point is that it was good enough to further along the development of the new Triple H character (I loved when he noted that the company was going to be all his one day) and it explained in more detail why he’s not going to accept The Undertaker’s challenge. He sees ‘Taker as a brand, not an equal, and it wouldn’t be good business to effectively end the brand that has made ‘ol dad-in-law so much moolah.

Triple H isn’t afraid that he’s going to hurt The Undertaker, at least not inasmuch that he’s afraid that he will physically hurt the man. He’s afraid that in order to win he’s going to have to hurt the man even worse than he did last year, and that will most certainly end his career and end up taking money out of Triple H’s pocket. Interesting. I wonder if Triple H was being truthful in order to take emphasis away from his emotions or if that’s the way his character is really headed.

“Jimmy Snuka Jimmy Snuka Jimmy Snuka Jimmy Snuka Jimmy Snuka.” – Lawler and Cole

And now they’re even billing her as Tamina Snuka. Hey, at least it sounds like she’s over. The crowd popped big for the Superfly Splash and the 1-2-3, but they were hot all night, so who knows? I hope Tamina isn’t completely forgotten about after she’s fed to Beth to continue the assumed push toward being challenged by Kharma. I’m expecting it, but I’m hoping it doesn’t happen.

“Already in the ring, from Hollywood, Florida, (The Zig Zag Man)!” – Justin Roberts

Zig Zag gets the jobber already in the ring intro. Uh-oh. And there’s the roll up. At this rate I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to call him by his given wrestling name. Does the glass ceiling have “The Zig Zag Man” written all over it?

“I thought I was sick.” – Kane

Katie Vick is twice the woman Eve Torres could ever dream of being. How could she do that to Zack? This whole storyline has been pretty crappy, although Ryder is coming across as a very sympathetic character. I just hope that when he gets back into the ring he can hold onto his heat and become his own man. Why are they giving this crap so much time? Cena can pretty much just coast until Rock comes back, but instead they have to give him the focus of the show, and it sucks. Not because of Cena. I like Cena. But the angle, which for a quick moment looked interesting, has just been awful. Waste of everyone’s time. And wow, I hope everyone who pushed for Kane to come back with his mask is eating their words. He was perfectly fine in his role as the somewhat creepy dude that had decent matches with pretty much everybody. His current run has just been a travesty. He doesn’t even look scary. He just looks silly. The outer mask is awesome, but the regular mask shows too much face and his outfit looks almost frilly. Kane is silly and frilly.

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After a weekend of rampant speculation regarding the status of Vince Russo in TNA, Dixie Carter announced yesterday on her Twitter that Vince Russo is officially gone.

“TNA and Vince Russo have mutually parted ways as of this week. The separation is amicable and professional.”

I have a more in depth view on the situation coming up in this week’s edition of Fact or Fiction (written before this announcement), but in short I don’t know how much of a role he has been playing lately, but the TV show has been seeming very un-Russo-like.

Jim Cornette’s response:

“Have I died?!?!?!”

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Jesse Sorensen is said to be in serious but stable condition after his bad bump on Sunday night. Doctors say his recovery is positive and he is continuing to regain feeling in his extremities and they are hopeful that he will be able to make a full recovery. Kurt Angle visited him yesterday and tweeted that Sorensen’s recovery time is about a year, but he’ll make it in 4 months. Please don’t actually mean that, Kurt. Let the kid heal right.

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Chris Jericho, famous for never experiencing a serious injury while wrestling, sustained a herniated disc while performing (and taking 7th place) on Dancing With The Stars. Was it worth it, Jericho? You’re no Stacy Keibler. I honestly didn’t even realize he was on that show. I know he did some crappy singing show a while back, but I am unaware as to whether or not I ever knew that he was on DWTS. Yoga is what helped him come back from the unfortunate dancing injury.

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Everyone backstage in TNA is raving about NY Giants running back Brandon Jacobs’ performances on the two episodes of Impact Wrestling taped on Monday night, stating that he “got it” and brought a lot of excitement to the show. I love it when celebrity/athlete guests make a positive impact and don’t look clueless. I look forward to seeing it this week and next.

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Hey, look! Kane is growing back some hair!