411 Fact or Fiction 02.23.12: Hell in a Cell, Santino, Eve Torres, More

1. The Undertaker vs. Triple H match needs Hell in a Cell to make it interesting.

Andy Critchell: FICTION. It needs Hell in a Cell to make it GOOD, but it needs good promo work to make it interesting. Monday night it sure looked like we were not going to get the necessary promo work as Undertaker seemed unsure and unable to deliver, but luckily Triple H came in and saved the segment by cutting one hell of an effective promo that I felt immediately built up interest. Taker must show that he is equal to the task in order to keep the excitement and momentum moving forward. But as we saw last year, Undertaker is on his last legs. As we have seen in his limited appearances since last Wrestlemania, Triple H is no longer able to work at the level he was at 3-5 years ago. Both of these facts are what necessitate the Hell in a Cell stipulation, a stipulation that can go a long way in hiding the shortcomings that both men possess. Undertaker MUST deliver on the mic otherwise the match will lose its “epic” feel.

Porfirio Diaz: FACT. If I’m not mistaken, the last two Wrestlemania matches these two had were both sanctioned as “No Holds Barred” contests. And following last year’s encounter, you obviously can’t have HHH finally being suckered into a match and declaring he’ll face Undertaker in a standard “business-like” wrestling match as if this was a Shotgun Saturday Night affair. Not when HHH-Undertaker Thrice is stated to be THE END OF AN ERA, back when wrestlers were tougher, jeans fit snugger, and everyone left it all in the ring as opposed to today’s lazy bone-brittle men who keep injuring each other in faux pas airborne moves, I guess. So, yeah, Hell in a Cell will make their final encounter interesting. Because if fearsome head-seeking chair shots and three Pedigrees couldn’t put a dent in the Dead Man’s WM loss column, then you might as well go with a similar stipulation but with an unwelcome addition of steel and terror and Big Bossman nightmares.

Both individuals have made a successful vocation within the Hell in a Cell structure – Undertaker: 5-6 (has competed more than any other wrestler) compared to Triple H: 6-2 (most wins of any) – so it only seems right that the two end their feud/careers within the “demonic structure” where they garnered a large portion of their success. Plus, seriously, anything to push the events of Undertaker’s only other Hell in a Cell match at Wrestlemania out of the way is a giant plus.

Score: 0 for 1

2. Having the John Cena vs. Kane ambulance match main event Elimination Chamber was the right call.

Andy Critchell: FICTION. The name of the PPV is Elimination Chamber. That right there should be enough to make your main event an Elimination Chamber match. And both Chamber matches were title matches which should also be worthy of being the main event. Finally, the Cena/Kane feud was a complete non-starter and I can’t imagine that is sold a single PPV buy so it is unworthy of being a main event. Basically, there is really no argument for the ambulance match to be the main event.

Porfirio Diaz: FICTION. Is this the first time the match name of a Pay-Per-View didn’t close the curtain? It says “Elimination Chamber” right there in the title, and though it was never implied that these PPV-titled specialty matches need to go on last, still, why call the show “Elimination Chamber” if the finale is Cena def. Kane (who died on his way back to his home planet?) in an unspectacular ambulance match when CM Punk winning the title or CM Punk-Jericho or CM Punk-anything has more to do with the theme of this show and the launch of the next one? The closest resemblance of Wrestlemania from Cena’s side quest feud with Kane was when Cena pointed at the logo after he Attitude Adjusted Kane into video game KO. The show is called “Elimination Chamber”. How hard is it to just end it with one?

Maybe it would have been fine if the Rock teased an appearance and engaged in an epic face-to-face confrontation with Cena, maybe. That would have at least somewhat been justified, much like how they ended Royal Rumble 2006 when Undertaker mind freaked Kurt Angle and made the ring collapse due to smoky evil powers. Alas, no. Given to what concluded (Cena rises above HATE, again, so take that haters KIDS BUY HIS SHIRT), a shot of Punk with title in hand would have been the more buzzworthy alternative.

Score: 1 for 2

3. Santino Marella can be a legitimate main eventer for WWE.

Andy Critchell: FICTION. Santino Marella can be in the main event but he is not someone that I think can be a main event player. At least for the near future. He would need for his character to be totally rebuilt with more of an emphasis on his legitimate fighting skills and zero emphasis on his natural comedic talents. Given that he is kind of a smaller guy both in height and bulk, that might not work for him. That’s not to say that Santino ever even needs to be a main eventer. Not everyone can be a main eventer and he provides a valuable service in his current role. Comedy definitely has a role to play in wrestling what with its carnival and vaudeville hall roots and Santino is great at comedy so that’s where he needs to be.

Porfirio Diaz: FICTION. No. Never. Santino Marella will never be a legitimate main eventer for WWE.

BUT!

Santino Marella is absolutely fantastic at what he is right now: a goofy prop character with a trusty cobra sock as his best friend who wins (or almost wins) matches he has little business winning in the first place. Sure, that may not have him in the main event of Wrestlemania or even Night of Champions (unless all wrestlers ahead of him tear their ACL or something) but forget all that because did you hear the crowd reaction from Sunday?! It was the loudest pop of the night, much more than when Cena murder slammed Kane into the Mortal Kombat death pit. Think about it: Santino was on the verge of winning the World Heavyweight title, and the crowd response was deafening. It’s the kind of noise they can easily convert into $$$ if they chose to do so! Conclusion: he won the crowd over, he was a star of the show, and he should be allowed to continue being “The Guy Who Can’t Win but Let’s Watch Maybe He Will”. Sometimes, that’s enough.

Santino is not one to belong as main event status, but as a non-main attraction where he channels the Ultimate Warrior, gets the crowd behind him, and points at things a lot, he’s right where he should be: an underdog who is a bit goofy but a bit dangerous; also whimsy.

Score: 2 for 3

4. Primo & Epico deserve more TV time as your WWE Tag Team Champions.

Andy Critchell: FACT. They deserve more time not because they are tag team champs and not because I want the tag ranks to be built up, they deserve more time because they are really good. Both guys are super talented, are decent enough on the mic, and with Rosa they have an act they can establish. I have found that I really enjoy their matches and I have even gone out of my way to see them on Superstars when necessary. Now I’m not going to waste time speculating on whether or not the tag division can be built around them or what some other possible tag teams can be because quite frankly I don’t believe WWE will ever go back to putting any focus on tag teams but that doesn’t take away from the fact that on sheer talent alone Primo & Epico deserve more TV time.

Porfirio Diaz: FACT. Yeah, probably.

Since when did the tag team belts become a cursed badge where the holders receive a +5 overall level growth but a -100 in general television appearance? They didn’t even perform last Sunday and that PPV had a 10 minute Legion of Doom meeting that ended in a gratuitous (albeit awesome) Twitter post. Note to the E: more Prime and Epico please.

Score: 3 for 4

SWITCH!

5. Wade Barrett’s injury while attempting to catch Dolph Ziggler during Monday night’s battle royal is further proof that wrestlers should do less moves with people flying to the outside.

Porfirio Diaz: FICTION. There have been a million of instances where wrestlers fly to the outside and I can only think of a handful where it went totally wrong: when Scott Putski injured his knee against Brian Christopher, when La Resistance miscued Spike Dudley into a brutal table glitch, what happened to Jesse Sorensen, the R-Truth-Miz miscommunication, and of course, this one, when R-Truth and Wade Barnett caught a fastball from the Big Show only Dolph Ziggler was the ball and the environment temporary changed to the physics engine from GTA4.

This is a tough one because obviously you don’t want to see these guys getting hurt and you wish for the best of care in every one of their matches. But we can’t take one microscopic period in time and use it as critical evidence against outside maneuvers. These guys are trained professionals and flying or being thrown to the outside is a common convention. And I like that. There’s always going to be a certain risk in this kind of profession and the wrestlers understand that. This is the “bias me” talking but don’t limit these moves because of a two ugly incidents. It would be better to use Wade Barrett’s injury (Ziggler should send Barrett a “+1” for risking death to catch him) as a safety precautions and tutoring device, so stuff like this doesn’t happen again.

Andy Critchell: FICTION. Wade’s injury was a freak accident and wasn’t a direct result of the Ziggler spot. And really, it is not like WWE does spots like that often and when they do, they rarely result in any type of serious injury so I don’t think there needs to be any change in WWE’s policy on spots like that.

Score: 4 for 5

6. Eve Torres will be an effective heel.

Porfirio Diaz: FACT. Last week she was on the verge of heel-dom, and really, once the “we’re just friends” line escaped her mouth there was no going back. People were going to end up not liking her once the something-something-hate story ended. Thus her ulterior motives were ousted and now she’s viewed as a manipulative person who used people like Ryder and Cena to further her own career. Effective heel? That’ll work. Add a bit of sociopathic tendencies – usually means the following: 1) she can cry on cue, 2) she can make going to parties really uncomfortable, and 3) hawt – to the character and suddenly she has the chance to become what Trish Status did for someone like Christian, and we know how that turned out.

Andy Critchell: FICTION. From what I have seen and heard from and about Eve outside the ring, she is a very lovely and kind person. From what I have seen and heard from Eve during this whole Cena/Kane/Ryder fiasco she is not a very good actress. Given that I think she will need to do quite a bit of acting to be an effective heel, I don’t see it happening. That being said, I didn’t have any faith that the widow of one of the most beloved WWE superstars ever could be effective at generating heel heat and we all know how that worked out so maybe I’m wrong here too.

Score: 4 for 6

7. Sting will be done with Impact Wrestling soon.

Porfirio Diaz: FICTION. Sting will be done when he clearly says he’s done. I have serious doubts that an ambiguous Twitter post is how he prefers to announce his departure from Impact Wrestling or the sport altogether. I’m uncertain of his contract situation but he seems to take pride in where he is now. As far as his value goes, he still has some gas left cliché cliché cliche. Short: he’s not done yet.

Andy Critchell: FACT. TNA is certainly making an effort to showcase guys like Roode and Storm and show that they don’t actually need Sting around anymore. Also, right now Sting certainly has the look and feel of a wrestler whose career is winding down. That leads me to believe that not only will he be done with Impact Wrestling soon, but he will be done with pro wrestling as a whole soon, at least as a regular performer. And that’s fine. Last year’s Undertaker being mistaken for Sting 2/21/11 videos proved that the idea of Sting finishing his career in WWE is something the fans would like to see but by no means do I feel like it is a requirement in order to secure his rightful place in wrestling history.

Score: 4 for 7

8. You would be interested in seeing a show featuring both Dragon Gate USA matches & CZW death matches.

Porfirio Diaz:
FICTION. I don’t have much wrestling interest outside of the two major companies, former major companies, books, any Rowdy Roddy Piper movie, WCW/nWo Revenge, my Torrie Wilson poster, and that one episode of That 70s Show where The Rock travels back in time with Ken Shamrock and plays exaggerate (exact?) versions of themselves. So I’m sorry to say I have no interest in either of these shows. That isn’t a “oh both shows sound terrible” comment, more of an unfamiliarity issue. I guess that still makes me a terrible person.

Andy Critchell: FICTION. Ugh, no. CZW appeals to the very lowest of wrestling fans and nothing they ever do is something I would be interested in. As for Dragon Gate, they are probably on the bottom rung of the legitimate indy ladder so I have no real interest in that either. Plus I don’t see how the type of matches that either promotion does could even fit together. I don’t want to sound like some kind of erudite, especially about pro wrestling of all things, but I am too good for a show like that. Sorry.

Final Score: 5 for 8

Critchell & Diaz finish in the middle of the road, disagreeing on Sting, Eve Torres & Hell in a Cell. Sting vs. Eve Torres in Hell in a Cell is not really a match I want to see. Let us know how you feel about these various topics & the writers’ responses to them down in the comment section! Thanks so much to Andy & Porfirio for participating, and we’ll be back here next week with two new combatants entering the Fact or Fiction ring!