Ask 411 Wrestling 03.14.12: Injuries, Retirements, Funkasarus, More!

This will be, when you read it, Ask 411 Wrestling. As I write it, it’s merely just a proto-Ask 411 Wrestling, a pseudo-Ask 411 Wrestling.

MORE Shameless Cross Promotion!

Louis asks about injuries.

Hey Mathew! Thanks for this awesome column every week!

Near the end of the match, you see Homicide going for a superplex, or something like this, on the top rope, but then he slips and falls his back first on the ground. He seems to be completely knocked out, but after a couple of minutes, they continue the match, with Walters doing some really big impact moves (Terminator, Powerbomb, Sharpshooter, Boston crab) and with Homicide always kicking out. What are the wrestlers usually supposed to do? I would have figured that, when a wrestler is hurt during a match, they would usually finish it quite fast (à la Owen Hart and Stone Cold), but then you have something like this, where they continue the match in a strange way. Was it only to make Homicide look strong?

Yes, Homicide was legitimately knocked the hell out at that point. But he recovered, and then he made the call to keep going.

When there’s an injury, it’s up to the wrestler in question. If it’s serious, you end the match. If it’s bad but not life threatening, you end the match ASAP (pinfall or count out or you slug the ref or something) and get out. If it’s not that bad, you keep going and avoid the injured part. Or, as in this case, if you’re a tough SOB and/or it’s not that bad, you keep going with the match as planned. Homicide could have easily said “I’m hurt”, and taken the count out loss. That’s what all the officials wanted. But he insisted on continuing, and Walters then did what anyone would, given the circumstances. Work the injured body part. Presumably at Homicide’s insistence. After all, Homicide didn’t end the match, Smokes did, drawing the DQ when it was clear Homicide was out of it.

Walters kept going because Homicide said to. But Smokes ended it when it was clear that Homicide’s judgement was impaired. It wasn’t to make Homicide look strong as such, it was just the plan was to keep going, and he said he could, so they did.

I also wonder what is the part of improvisation that are allowed to wrestlers when they are hurt or just don’t feel good. I remember reading in Eddie Guerrero’s biography that he asked his opponent to pin him on his first match on Raw (correct me if I’m wrong) because he was hurt, even though he was supposed to win. Are promoters usually comprehensive and do they respect the wrestler’s decisions when it comes to their own safety?

Thanks in advance for your answers, and continue this highly interesting work!

It was Eddie and Saturn V The New Age Outlaws on Smackdown, and the injury actually ended up changing the storylines somewhat. The Radicals, as yet unnamed, had come into the company, although they weren’t ‘signed’ yet, they were instead friends of Mick Foley. On Smackdown, there would be a set of 3 matches, and if the Radicals won 2 out of 3, they’d get contracts. Malenko lost to X-Pac early in the show, then Eddie and Saturn were meant to win against the Outlaws, and then HHH/Benoit would end in a wild brawl, setting up an 8 man tag at No Way Out for the contracts. But then this happened.

And so they had HHH go over ‘clean’, and then turn them heel out of it. Which worked out ok in the long run, but still.

Anyway, you’re supposed to follow the script at all times. But injuries are the one exception. If you’re meant to win and you get hurt, if you call an audible and make the other guy pin you, you will be excused. Admittedly in WWE today they tend to just end the match, but if you improvise a finish due to injury, you’re ok. You tend to want it to be as close to the actual finish as possible, but if you gotta lose, you gotta lose.

My Damn Opinion

D is back.

6. Probably an opinion question, but what probably would have been Danielson’s role in the NEXUS had he not been released for the tie choking incident?

He was, no pun intended, going to be their Dragon, as it’s used on tvtropes. He was going to be the technical genius/super wrestler who would be the guy teaming with Wade Barrett and taking on the big names for the group. The guy there to help Barrett get the WWE title, and injure people when required. Then, eventually, he’d be the one to wake up and realise that Barrett was a douche nozzle and turn on the group, like he did anyway.

Patrick begins the new stuff with the by now usual Cena/Rock question.

Hello Mathew,
Love the Ask 411 Wrestling column. Really enjoy reading your insights into the world of pro wrestling.

Again, great column. Thanks for all of your hard work.

It’s more just the standard Face expression now. All faces smile, and want to have fun, and are just nice people. So John Cena, as the faciest of facey faces, smiles a lot. He smiles when he’s happy, or when he’s sad, or when he’s perplexed, or miffed, or any other emotional state. Smiling is his default expression.

Plus, you know, he’s in there with The Rock, which I’m sure is something that is pretty cool to him. But yes, while perhaps being less smiley and more intense might make for a more believable feud, the two seem to be going… OK with it. And you’re suppoed to take it seriously because it’s Cena V Rock. Doesn’t need booking, it’s Cena V Rock! YOU LOVE IT!!!

Ahem. Moving on. Chris?

Hi

1) First up is the wrestler’s retirement. I read on 411, maybe it was you, can’t remember, that this year HHH will retire, that next year it will be Kane and finally Undertaker after Wrestlemania XXX. What’s your take on this? Does it seem logical?

That was indeed me, thinking out loud as a possible plan. It’s not what I want exactly, but it seemed to me to be logical. HHH and Kane are both in end game, and Taker’s on a one a year schedule, and Cena V Taker at WM would be one of the few matches I can think of that would do WMXXX justice. Even if Cena should be going in undefeated there. Ah well, too late now.

It’s neither what I want, nor what I suspect will happen, it’s just a theory.

2) On the same subject, what about Vince McMahon? When do you think he will retire? He’s nearing the 70s so it should be soon?

As much as the news says that Vince is handing over the reigns to Hunter, Vince will never fully retire. Never. He will never ever not have at least some sort of hand on the tiller control until the day he drops dead. I’m sure Hunter is doing all the basic day to day stuff, and is learning about the more important things as he goes. But Vince will NEVER ride off into the sunset, it’s just not in his nature. He may be bed ridden, but he’ll have Raw on the TV and send in notes. Up until he joins the choir invisible and becomes an Ex-Chairman.

3) Logically, when Vince retires, HHH and Stephanie will take over, but what about Shane? Any chances of seeing him come back?

Slim to none. I mean, if Vince, HHH and Steph were to all be on the same plane that gets caught in a thunderstorm and ends up back in 1885 or something, he might well return to lead the company. But Shane got out, it seems, because he saw that Hunter and Steph were going to take over, and he got shut out. Especially when the WWE: Global Domination plan fell through, that seemed to be the last nail in the coffin for him. He took off to try and make his own name, and forge a path for himself.

If Steph steps down for some reason, maybe he might come back, but it’s unlikely. Short a disaster, Shane’s gone for good.

(Now watch as next week he’s announced as being the newest member of Team Long…)

4) Other topic, it seems nobody likes the women wrestling (if you want to call it that nowadays). Why do they keep showing it and try to get the public interested if clearly no one cares?

Yeah, why do they care?

That said, it’s not just about the merch. There is also some storylines you can’t tell without women, and also WWE wants to appeal to the entire family, not just young boys. So you need some women about to be ‘positive role models’ and the like in order to try and get girls watching along with their brothers.

However, none of this actually requires women to actually wrestle, you can have a bunch of women running around looking pretty, hanging off the arms of wrestlers, being in the back as easy lays for the guys and generally available for storylines without them wrestling. Problem is, if you retire the Divas title and scale back women’s wrestling, most of the good divas under contract will bail. And the thing is, a good number of the charismatic women are the ones who consider themselves as female wrestlers rather than divas.

So you have to give them something, to prevent a mass revolt. Plus, maybe, just maybe, one of the random bimbos becomes the next Trish and makes the company lots of money.

(And please, let’s not start up that TIRED debate as to if Trish made them serious money, OK? The point stands even if it’s not a lot of cash, more money is better regardless of the amount)

So basically, WWE needs/wants women around. They have to give them something to prevent them leaving. But since no-one cares, they give them as little as possible. Which, of course, means that no-one has a chance to care, and we get caught in a vicious cycle.

5) Lastly, about gimmick wrestlers, there used to be a lot of them (Doink, Gangrel, Viscera, Tatanka, etc), but now there’s practically none (besides the old timers still hanging around). I know that Vince likes gimmicks, but why did that type of wrestling stop? Especially now with the targeting towards family someone like Doink (though less evil) would be interesting.

Thank you

MMA stopped it. Or at least, they changed the rules. Today’s gimmicks are not nearly as over the top. Yes, Santino’s a walking cartoon, but he’s at least, when you get down to it, just a crazy foreigner. He’s not an alien, he’s not a wizard, he’s just a wrestler who speaks funny and comes from Italy. Same as The Funkasaurs. He is not actually a dinosaur. He’s merely a big fat guy who dances.

Wrestlers today can’t be as over the top because the rules have changed as to what people are willing to suspend belief for. UFC is using old school wrestling logic to make a killing, but it, along with the shift in the late 90’s/early 00’s to a more scientific style in the big leagues means that gimmicks have to be based more in reality than they once could be.

Which is not to say Doink can’t work. Well, Doink is a special case, as like Kane and Taker, he’s grandfathered in. But someone who comes in as some kid friendly gimmick as a heel would be pretty cool actually. Put someone in some sort of giant mascot costume or something, have them dance around for a few weeks, then have said mascot brutally assault a beloved face… That could work.

What’s Dragon Dragon doing?

We end with William, who has me confused with someone else.

Hey Aaron, been reading this column for as long as I can remember reading 411.

… Aaron? Aaron? Who the Brawler is Aaron?

QUESTION 1 –

How do you see the WWE handling the re-debuts of both Skip Sheffield and Husky Harris? Also, how would YOU ideally have them re-debut? Face? Heel? Same gimmicks or different gimmicks? Surprise? First feud? Husky Harris, sort of to the same degree as Brodus Clay, I initially had little opinion of. But he proved to be able to move around the ring quite well for his size, and he also had a good way of using facial expressions to just come across as a bit of a dick. Sheffield I am not too sure on myself. He was being primed as being another big powerhouse in the WWE before his injury, but he was still way too confined to the Nexus role for any sort of chance to come across on the mike. Having said that, do you think he has potential to break out.. or just become another Ezekiel Jackson or Mason Ryan?

Skip will get a push on the simple basis that the guy looks like a superstar, or at least, is huge. Harris… They gave him a shot based on the lineage, but he didn’t exactly impress anyone. Skip I see getting some lead in promos and then getting a string of jobber wins (they’ll wait till after Wrestlemania and/or when Clay has an actual program going on). Harris will probably get a shot with his brother in a few months.

As for how I’d use them, Harris would be in the tag team with Bo Rotunda. Preferably with a better name. But do the tag team brothers thing, have dad manage them.

And for Skip, honestly? I’d have Eve bring him in as her man to keep Ryder at bay after he wises up, and run Skip/Ryder. Hey, it wouldn’t totally suck, plus might as well use her heat to try and get someone else over. Plus it makes sense for later on, when Skip dumps her, he can say how he just used her to get ahead. Karma and all that.

QUESTION 2 –

Thanks!

Well to be fair, WWE does come out once a year to Australia, and you can always try supporting local wrestling, like for instance the AWF. I hear that Mass Transit team is pretty cool.

Self plugging aside, the topic you bring up is an important one. Does the IWC have a right to complain? It’s often dragged out as an argument, that since (supposedly) you don’t pay, you have no right to complain. We’re not the target audience, we have no leg to stand on.

That argument is, in my mind, total BS. You, I, and the rest of the IWC, have every right in the world to complain. We have every right to say that WWE’s current booking is horrible, that the company has lost it’s sense of direction, that the divas should all be fired/be given more time and focus/should be forced to perform live sex acts mid ring. Whatever your opinion, you have a right to hold it, and express it.

But with that comes the flipside, in that the WWE also has every right to ignore said opinion. As you say, a sizeable chunk of the IWC doesn’t financially contribute to the WWE, and they really are not the target audience. Thus, WWE is perfectly within their rights to stick up a middle finger, or rather since they are PG, blow a raspberry at the IWC and do what they like.

That said, there is a middle ground. You can effectively book a wrestling show to be compelling, interesting, appealing and above all, PC. CHIKARA is, as always the default example.

But even if you think CHIKARA is stupid Indy crap, the fact is, they have a loyal, dedicated fanbase of IWC members who love them while being straight PG. CHIKARA doesn’t need blood, or swearing, or chairshots a plenty. It can be done. (Although sponsoring Botchamania doesn’t hurt at all).

If you want a WWE example, look at HHH/Taker. Yes, it skirts the boundaries slightly, and has the advantage of three of the biggest and best wrestlers in history involved in the angle, but it’s still compelling and awesome to the IWC (mostly) while still being PG friendly.

The fact is, that the majority of the major issues that most of the IWC has with WWE can be fixed without losing the market they are currently aiming for. Regardless of how much money the IWC provides, it is possible to appease both camps, mostly. And isn’t appealing to more people better?

But overall, yes, you have the right to complain. And yes, they have the right to ignore you.

Do you disagree? Agree? Don’t care? Tell me below. I dare you.