The Wednesday Wire: 4.4.12: And Now We Start Anew

Hey, look, it’s Wednesday! WedWi is now!

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Good Wednesday everybody! WrestleMania is over and the new “season”, so to speak, for WWE is underway! Change is coming and it’s time to build to next year’s ‘Mania, I guess. I am moving my family down south in a few months, and the night before we’re scheduled to move also happens to have a scheduled WWE PPV, so I figured why not? My son gets to see his first live wrestling show in the same building that I got to attend my first show over 13 years ago. No Way Out returns to the IZOD Center on June 17th in East Rutherford, NJ, which is in the Meadowlands complex that also houses MetLife Stadium, the home of WrestleMania XXIX. I am very excited to be taking my little dude to his first show. He’s looking forward to seeing the pyro live and he can’t wait to see, in his words, “my boy John”. He calls John Cena by his first name as if they’re long time pals. It’s pretty cute, really.

Maybe I can try something new graphically today. Been working on this since Saturday night! The format will be roughly the same as usual although I’m working on truncating the column down to focus on more of the main important/interesting news topics. The WedWi is going back to its roots. This is a discussion-based column, so that’s what I’m working toward promoting. Let’s see what happens. If WrestleMania is the end of WWE’s season, then it can be the end of mine as well and lead to new beginnings.

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Please be aware that this was all written before RAW on Monday night, therefore any speculations do not factor in the happenings of the show the night after WrestleMania.

Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan
World Heavyweight Championship Match

Well at least Bryan got to wear the sweet robe again. Reports are that the intended outcome of this debacle was to set a record for the shortest title match in WrestleMania history. Of course they ended up missing it by 10 full seconds (Kane v. Chavo) and everybody looks like an idiot now. I’m interested in how they’re going to follow this up. This was very disappointing and my immediate reaction was to be upset (just like pretty much everybody else) but in the end, as long as Dragon doesn’t lose his push and can continue being high on the card it’s not the end of the world. Good for Sheamus, though. He deserves the belt. Deserved a better match, but at least he’s got the belt. no stars

“Huh? What? Can somebody come out here and restart this match?” – My 5-year-old son who was rooting for Sheamus. Even he knew that there was some bullshit going on here.

Kane def. Randy Orton

I was very surprised by the finish of this match. When Orton kicked out of the first chokeslam I figured that it was about to be over, and then all of a sudden both men are on the top rope and Kane unleashes a monster chokeslam. That was pretty cool. The match started off being pretty paint-by-numbers for both men but they ended up putting together a few different sequences that made the match more worthy of WrestleMania. This was the only match that I was 100% sure that I properly predicted the outcome. I was wrong, and just like the result of the first match of the evening I am now looking forward to finding out what they are planning to do next. ***

The Big Show def. Cody Rhodes
Intercontinental Championship Match

Here’s another outcome that I did not expect. It’s nice to see Show get a happy WrestleMania moment, but was it really necessary? Again, I wonder what comes next for both men. I’d like to see Cody take it back from Show on TV and move on to a new feud for Extreme Rules. Match was okay-ish but nothing that I’d have been upset to have missed. **

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos def. Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix

Maria had some wonderful, wonderful white pants. Beth had a ridiculous but awesome headpiece. Eve and Kelly were in the ring at times. What really upsets me is that they played a promo piece before this match that made it seem like the women in WWE are so well respected and are empowering figures. Why throw that kind of bullshit at us? *1/2

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The Undertaker def. Triple H
End of an Era: Hell in a Cell Match

This match was special. I’m going to have to watch this as well as the ROH 10th Anniversary Show main event again to decide my current Match of the Year frontrunner. I was definitely caught up in the moment for both matches.

I was quite excited during this one and I wrote a ton of notes live as I watched, so instead of formulating a paragraph review, here are my moment-to-moment reactions.

– Triple H is looking old. Cool entrance though. I dig the simplicity.
– They usually bring the Cell down first… much cooler visual.
– Again, very glad they went simplistic with the entrances.
– Taker’s looking pretty badass with the shaven head.
– Damn, why not the “dum duh duh duh dum duh duh…” traditional cage dropping tune?
– Still cool though.
– The image of a palm tree directly outside the Cell is somewhat comical.

– This is why JR needs to call more matches. Who else is going to tell us that a man’s punches cause cancer? The public needs to know what to avoid.
– Get back in the ring, guys. This shit is what made last year’s match suck.
– At least they aren’t both laying around yet.
– Holy crap that was a sick thud with the spinebuster!
– HELL’S GATE! Countered! Nice!
– Far better than last year. Looks like they give a shit.

– Shawn finally interjects, but does no good.
– Why does he care so much about Undertaker?
– It’s weird seeing ‘Taker get his ass kicked so badly.
– Sledgy doesn’t do it. And Undertaker actually kicks out with authority.
– …and then stays down. DO SOMETHING DUDE!
– Good! HBK is ruining this match.

– But I thought it was Undertaker’s
– Lil’ Naitch!
– What is this? Austin v. Angle from SummerSlam 2001?
– Okay I actually bought that finish.
– Shawn did that on purpose to keep ‘Taker down, right?
– Triple H kicks out!
– Match of the Year?

– The crowd will shit all over this if Triple H wins.
– Holy shit I bought that Pedigree too.
– Foot on the sledge!
– Kill him ‘Taker! Make him humble!
– Roles reversed! Undertaker is a badass again! Way better than being an old man.
– Sledge to the face!
– Tombstone! Over!

– This needs to be it for both men. Call the match “End of an Era” and make it so. Perfect way for both guys to end their careers. Shawn too, for that matter. Great embrace. That is a WrestleMania moment if I’ve ever seen one. Out of character for all three men and just amazing. I talked a decent amount of shit about the whole deal, but this match and this moment was the embodiment of WrestleMania. ****1/2

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Team Johnny def. Team Teddy
For Control of RAW & SmackDown

After the marathon Hell in a Cell match I was exhausted and used this match to get up and stretch. From what I saw, the match started off as a mess that the crowd couldn’t care less about, but it heated up once Team Teddy threw Hornswoggle over the top rope. The trio dive from Truth, Kofi and Zack Ryder was fantastic and Ryder ended the match strong, even if he had to take the fall in favor of The Miz. I hope that WrestleMania can be the end point of the year that a lot of people see it as (myself included) and we begin seeing Miz get his crap back together and Ryder getting a chance to pull himself back up by his bootstraps after a terrible first 3-months of the year. **1/2

CM Punk def. Chris Jericho
WWE Championship Match

Many of us “smarks” on the internet were looking forward to this match as the #1 most anticipated part of this year’s WrestleMania. They worked a decidedly slow pace which the crowd didn’t seem to appreciate (ungrateful heathens) but kept me glued to the TV screen. This wasn’t quite the technical classic that it could have been, but nobody should have expected it to be that once Jericho started attacking Punk’s family. Like I’ve said, I wish this could have been a pure match with a simpler build that would lead to Jericho resorting to getting personal, but there’s no reason to harp on the past. This was a great match with the right result and I look forward to seeing how Jericho goads Punk into a rematch. ****

The Rock def. John Cena
Once in a Lifetime

Well would you look at that? Rock beat Cena. Other people certainly called it but I did not believe it would go down how it did. Cena loses… what happens next? As far as the match, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Many people have made the comparison to Rock/Hogan from 10 years ago, and it is pretty fitting. The crowd, though not nearly as hot as they were in Toronto in 2002, helped this match become far better than just what was brought to the table by the two men in the ring. That’s not to say it was bad by any means, but it is a classic example of two guys going out there and attempting to put on an “epic” collision rather than a great match. That was to be expected, though, so who can fault them? By the way, Rocky was dead on his feet pretty early on in this one. He was very clearly not quite in ring shape and got winded quickly and easily. He almost blew a hiptoss (no, it was NOT Cena’s fault) and then barely made it over the top rope when Cena low-bridged him a short time later. That is a largely trivial detail, however. This match was a WrestleMania moment; it was exactly what people expect out of a ‘Mania main event. Good job by both men. ***1/2

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WrestleMania XXVIII Overall Rating: ****

This show was obscenely superior to the piece of wet trash they threw at us one year ago. In fact, I will go on record in saying that this is the best WrestleMania since XX. I am definitely glad that I ended up caving in and making a last minute purchase of the show this year. They absolutely burned me and stole my $55 last year, but this year’s show went a long way in making up for it.

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|Ring of Honor Roundup|

ROH spent WrestleMania weekend down in Miami with everybody else, putting out two days of pro wrestling action that, as usual, was rift with production issues. I haven’t had a chance to see the shows yet (and I won’t spend any money on them until I am ensured that all of the problems are corrected), but all accounts I’ve read of the show production-wise state that this weekend may have been the worst yet. There were audio/video sync problems, the feed went dark and ended up costing the fans at least one match and it altogether just seems like it was a very rough weekend for ROH on iPPV. I don’t know what the deal is with these — CHIKARA ran one show that went very smoothly and DGUSA by all accounts have put out a number of well-produced live internet PPVs. Somebody needs to get their shit together. I wonder what ROH will do to make it up to the fans who are likely disappointed by the complete lack of professionalism. At least they can still tout the in-ring product.

SHOWDOWN IN THE SUN: Day 1
Full Results from ROH World

Last week I discussed what Adam Pearce and the NWA should do in order to revive the NWA Heavyweight Title. This week I can report that Pearce defended the belt on the NWA Ring Warriors show on Thursday against ROH’s Adam Cole, and a shady finish led to a non-title rematch on ROH’s iPPV where Adam Cole def. Adam Pearce. That’s not a terrible start to the possible new era of the NWA Heavyweight Title.

In a tornado tag team match, The All Night Express def. The Young Bucks in the first of their “Dual Duel” series, essentially beating the Bucks at their own game. The following night was previewed when Nick Jackson took Titus’ knee out with a chair. Jay Lethal def. Kyle O’Reilly to retain his TV Title even though he continues to not be in possession of the physical belt. Tommaso Ciampa, who does have the belt, watched the match from ringside but didn’t get involved. The former WCW triple-title holder of the Canadian Heavyweight Championship, 100 Kilos & Under Championship and the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Championship returned to ROH action, but in the end Mike Bennett def. Lance Storm.

The first of the night’s two main events featured a blood feud when Kevin Steen def. El Generico thanks to Jimmy Jacobs making his return to interfere on behalf of Steen. Jacobs has decided to be true to himself and has embraced his dark side. Finally, the ROH World Title did not change hands as Davey Richards def. Eddie Edwards & Roderick Strong in a triple threat match. After the match, Michael Elgin attacked Davey Richards to send a message leading into their World Title match on Day 2.

SHOWDOWN IN THE SUN: Day 2
Full Results from ROH World

The show’s opening by Nigel McGuinness and Kevin Kelly was interrupted by Jimmy Jacobs, who said that he realized at the 10th Anniversary Show that evil is the only way he can be. That brought out our favourite Generic Luchadore for some revenge, but in the end Jimmy Jacobs def. El Generico. In a CHIKARA v. ROH matchup, TJ Perkins def. Fire Ant, but there was no sign of any further involvement from the fun-loving fellows of the Quackenbush camp.

In a battle of former tag partners, Kyle O’Reilly def. Adam Cole by holding the tights. The brothers Jackson were able to tie the ‘Dual Duel’ when The Young Bucks def. The All Night Express in a Street Fight. The war may not be over, as after Jay & Mark Briscoe def. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team, Haas & Benjamin attacked the retaining Tag Champs. It didn’t end up being for the title, but Kevin Steen def. Eddie Edwards in another step towards earning himself a World Title shot. The match for the World Television Title ended with a new champion, as Roderick Strong def. Jay Lethal after interference from Tommaso Ciampa. The Embassy continues to retain possession of the actual title belt.

The ROH World Title was defended successfully when Davey Richards def. Michael Elgin in a war. The Unbrekable one took the World Champ to the limit but was unable to bring a second title to The House of Truth.

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The Rock: Champion One More Time?
RAW started off with The Rock thanking the people for their support. The people decided to respond by stealing Daniel Bryan’s celebration. I guess I should be excited for Bryan that something he started has gotten over so big that people even chant it when he’s not involved. The big story is that Rock stated that his next goal is to be the WWE Champion. He snuck a “someday” in there at the end though, so his intentions are open for interpretation. Will he be showing up a couple times a month to earn it? Will he rest on his laurels until he decides he wants to call out the champ before SummerSlam (or, heaven forbid WrestleMania)? Maybe he’ll win the Royal Rumble. Uh-oh.

Santino: Still US Champion
I know it wasn’t really a handicap match, but damn if that wasn’t one of the best 2-on-1 matches I have ever seen. I’m also quite enjoying Santino becoming increasingly legitimate in the ring. It took this long for them to figure out that a comedy character with decent ability in the ring could be a worthwhile wrestler? So does Brodus Clay now have something real to be involved with? Also, WOW. That is why The Zig Zag Man is awesome. Who else would take a bump like that? Nobody, that’s who. Pussies.

Lord Tensai: Impressive Debut
The crowd reacted in awe to the different moves that they were supposed to, so that was nice. He looked great in the ring in a very impressive squash, but why stop the match? And here’s the Daniel Bryan chant. Keep it up, Miami. I just ask one thing, please, please don’t spend weeks upon weeks upon weeks giving the man squash matches. The quicker he gets to wrestle real matches against people the crowd gives a fuck about, the quicker he gets over and the quicker Vince gets that almighty dollar. An added bonus is less bitching from people like me.

CM Punk v. Mark Henry: Return to Form
It’s a return to form for Henry, oddly enough. Last year he put on a bunch of really good matches against better wrestlers, proving that he is able to perform up toward the standards of guys a level above him. The WWE Title match on RAW was fantastic but that finish came out of nowhere. The amazing crowd added another level as well. Later on, Abraham Washington stepped in and offered Mark Henry his managerial services. Let’s get the return of managers! Do it!

Brock Lesnar: The Return of The Pain
Cena’s speech was typical Cena, but as far as I’m concerned that isn’t a bad thing. He had fun, the crowd had fun and Daniel Bryan got continued love from all. The crowd did everything they could to will the return of Brock Lesnar, and there he was. I’ll admit to having a bit of a pit in my stomach in anticipation of hearing the opening sound of Brock’s theme while the moment neared. I wonder if Brock is taking the spot that Lord Tensai was supposed to have. It would have transpired differently, obviously, but it’s something to think about for 30-40 seconds.

Other RAW Thoughts: No Paragraphs Here!
– I like the continuation of the Jericho/Punk feud. I look forward to Punk’s response next week. Where, if at all, does Mark Henry fit in?
– I was hoping we’d at least get 5 minutes for Cody and Kofi.
– The crowd, not surprisingly, is NOT on Sheamus’ side. Can’t blame him — if he would have won the title in a legitimate match he would have been a strong face tonight and his segment with Del Rio wouldn’t have been a flop.
– Glad to see Miz getting a win, but what about Ryder? Seriously, WWE, please don’t spend the next few months humiliating him for getting himself over. Let’s give the man some momentum. And some promo time would be nice too.

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– Evan Bourne has a midfoot fracture dislocation, also known as a LisFranc fracture dislocation. According to his doctor it could be career threatening.

– A 14-year-old idiot killed a 24-year-old moron while watching WrestleMania on Sunday.

– Daniel Bryan said recently that his favourite match in WWE was against William Regal on Superstars last November in England.

– Maria Menounos did not, in fact, shit herself.

– Chris Jericho’s short part of the pre-WrestleMania press conference on Sunday was pretty cool. He’s so soft spoken when he’s out of character. It’s pretty cool. Yeah, I’m a Jericho mark.

– You know what else is pretty cool? When I got to interview Jericho for RBR Wrestling. You all should give it a listen. The current lineup of guys are great. RBR Wrestling, Saturdays @8pm eastern.

– Fans at WrestleMania who purchased tickets that placed them behind the gargantuan palm tree rigs were treated with surprising respect on Sunday. According to reports, the stadium’s staff were briefed on what to do if people complained about their obstructed views. These people were sent to a spot near the middle of the stadium in which the view was said to be quite spectacular. Staff said that the tickets weren’t sold with the “obstructed view” warning because the layout of the arena was not set in stone when the tickets went on sale.

– Randy Orton, who was announced as the star of WWE’s third movie in the ‘Marine’ franchise, has now been removed from the role. Not surprisingly, real-life marines complained about it, as Orton went AWOL from his unit on a pair of occasions back in 1999, which led to a short detainment and dishonorable discharge. I brought the AWOL situation up to my wife last week when I read the news; who the heck thought they wouldn’t get shit for it?

– Vince Russo will be interviewed for YouShoot Live on June 1st in New Jersey, and it has been announced by World Wrestling Network that they will air the show live on iPPV. I’m interested in hearing Russo’s answers to obvious questions (what the FUCK were you thinking when…) as well as seeing what kinds of things the fans ask him. Don’t worry about my sanity. I’ll wait for a transcript or something. I ain’t paying for this, just letting you know that you can.

– Yoshi Tatsu took to Twitter to challenge Lord Tensai. I bet he takes a shitkicking on RAW next Monday.

– Brock Lesnar’s new WWE deal is for 1-year in which he is required to make 2 appearances on TV per month. WWE can negotiate more dates, especially leading up to WrestleMania next year, after which his contract runs out.

– Kurt Angle injured his hamstring last week, which may keep him from continuing toward his Olympic dreams. Isn’t this the guy that tore both quads in the morning and wrestled that night? Well, it has been 10 years. I guess age wears on a guy.

– Wait… was Kurt lying to us? Did he not really tear both quads?

– Nah, Kurt wouldn’t do that kind of thing. True American hero, that man.

– Rest in Peace, Chief Jay Strongbow.

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From ill eagle: “I have no clue who wrote this. But actually pretty good. Except a few corny jokes here and there.

To answer your question, Twitter is awful. I think it detracts way too much. WrestleMania 17 didn’t have Twitter and it was one of the best ever.”

Read the byline, man! I wrote this! Me! This guy! Who has two thumbs and wrote this column?

Yeah… I guess you’re right on the corny jokes. It’s fun for me, so I do them. Thanks for the compliment though. I appreciate it. You’re certainly right about WM 17, but it is a different time now. I actually participated on Twitter during WrestleMania this Sunday and it ended up being a lot of fun, especially getting to read the live thoughts of guys like former WWE writer Dave Lagana as well as Steve Corino (and his son) and other people both in the business and out. I think they should promote the fact that they use Twitter but I wouldn’t mind them getting rid of the “such and such is trending” graphics.

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From Still Guest#8287: “Twitter sucks plain and simple! Good column with some nice pics.”

Why does Twitter suck, though? You’re usually awesome with explaining and discussing things. I am disappoint.

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From The Great Capt. Smooth: “Damn! That first banner! Damn! Taker smiling!”

I know!

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From Guest#4584: “change the divas match to a bra and panties match”

I would, but I don’t have that kind of power, sir.

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From Guest#8082: “Orton is right if you consider the fact that Orton is a bigger star than Sheamus & Bryan, also Kane is closer to the level of Sheamus than he is of Bryan. The only thing that makes people think that Sheamus-Bryan is a bigger match is that the World title is on the line. Put the title on the line between Orton & Kane and tell me which match sounds like the bigger match at WrestleMania.”

You are right from that standpoint, definitely. And of course after the 18-second debacle that was the World Title match, that point rings even more true. From my point of view, though, the reason I disagree with Orton saying his match is more important is because Kane has floundered since he came back and the feud that led to the ‘Mania match was short and came out of nowhere. It made sense once they explained it (it was quite smart, actually), but Sheamus/Bryan had longer/better build and on top of that, Sheamus won the Rumble match. That’s two Rumble match winners opening Wrestlemania in a row, by the way.

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From the mecca: “DDP was freaking awesome and should have gotten a better place on the card. however I wouldn’t have pushed my luck against Vince at that time. seems like the type to hold a grudge and so i would say work the taker angle, and then push for the rock match later, maybe for the World championship…”

The angle with Undertaker and Sara would have had a chance if DDP hadn’t been treated like ‘Taker’s bitch. I don’t understand why that happened. Then they added Kanyon to the mix so Kane could be added to the angle and more WCW asses could be kicked. I think DDP calling out The Rock would have worked in 1999, but in 2001 it would have taken a lot more build.

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From Adam: “If DDP would have debuted calling himself “The Peoples Champ” he would have been laughed out of the building. Stalker DDP was a fine debut, it was a surprise and Page has the facial expressions to pull off a crazy character like that.”

It was a good debut and I remember people thinking it would be DDP but there were some doubts. I don’t remember who else was speculated to be the stalker, though. Anybody have an idea? You’re right about Page’s ability to look like a madman, though.

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From Guest#2795: “Sorry to break it to you, there’s no way the Rock is gonna lose if Cena/Rock goes on last, they gotta send the crowd home happy and a post match handshake won’t do it. The Rock will win because Cena keeps saying that he needs to win more than the Rock, so there’s your drama, there’s the storyline for the next few months…what does Cena do? Where does he go after giving the Rock his best and coming up short?”

You were right. I really didn’t think they’d do it, but there it was. I guess where Cena goes now is up for the F-5. I wonder if they’re going to bring up the WWE Title match Cena and Brock had in 2003 at Backlash. It would be great if Cena also brought up that the original name of the AA, which was the F-U, came from his feud with Brock as well.

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From G-Walla: “I just think there’s more upside to Rock beating Cena. If Cena wins, it’s just another told you so, I’m superman. But if he loses, then his foundation is shaken. It’s more interesting. That’s why I’m rooting for the Rock, to make Cena better.

And I hope Orton punts Kane. I like Kane, I always have. But, somehow, he’s become awful since they put a mask back on him.”

His foundation did indeed seem shaken, but Cena isn’t broken. He came off as upset and somewhat contrite, but Cena will continue to be Cena. I doubt he’s going to be changing any time soon. You’re also right about Kane, but after his win on Sunday maybe he’s got a chance of breaking through the mediocrity. Time will tell.

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That’s going to be it. Work in progress.

Next week: Progress?

– Nicholas A. Marsico