Hidden Highlights 5.22.12: Orton, TNA, Swagger, More

5. The real world finally outlasts kayfabe – I don’t think I’m revealing anything new when I say that the wrestling world does not follow the rules of the real world. Case in point, a few weeks ago we had a field sobriety test occur in the ring. So, following this train of thought, having Paul Heyman threaten HHH with two lawsuits, one for assault and battery while in a wrestling ring, was a nice change of pace.

4. Tweet remark of the week – #Itsclobberintime trending worldwide wasn’t people tweeting in support of CM Punk, but rather people who thought that was the Hulk’s catchphrase. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DON’T HAVE A GOOD FANTASTIC FOUR MOVIE, PEOPLE!

3. Small highlights – Here’s a list of things that aren’t getting large highlight posts, either because they weren’t major things, or because Michael Cole mentioned it 2 minutes after it happened.

– Punk staring down Daniel Bryan while pinning Cody Rhodes.
– Alicia Fox can’t pull of those flippy lucha moves, but somehow she sells the Glam Slam better than any other diva on the roster.
– Beth also had a stare down with her Over the Limit opponent while beating up Alicia.
– R-Truth helping Little Jimmy get into the ring.

2. Argyle-Sweater Man is back! – God have I missed Otunga. I understand why he had to be away; after all, his fiancée probably needed all the support she could get at the trial of the man who killed her mother, brother, and nephew. But his absence has been noted, as Eve has had to carry the load of being Laurinaitis’s second-in-command, which has been painful at best, so I’m glad to have David back. Also, a secondary best goes to Cole for pimping out Laurinaitis’s Japan career as a huge deal.

1. Sheamus costs Orton his W – Wrestlers costing each other the victory in a match happens all the time, but I love how Orton just flips out when Sheamus cost him the victory on Monday. I’d like to think that this occurred mostly because Orton’s father was big during the days when announcers would constantly talk about a winner’s purse, and Orton still believes that to be a thing, but having the reason Orton flipped out be that he is legit crazy is fine as well.

1. TNA is sending some mixed signals – Wrestling has always pretended that it is a legitimate sport, and not the soap opera that we know it to be. TNA has been no exception here, but I have to say that having a “previously on Impact” message to start the show probably doesn’t help protect kayfabe. Also, I don’t know who made that live Impact commercial, but the insinuation that the taped shows contain mistakes and need do-overs probably isn’t a good idea.

1. Signs that Swagger/Ziggler had no chance – I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but Swagger and Ziggler lost their tag title match. Here’s one of the reasons why: while they got around to updating Swagger’s moving image so as to update his new hairdo, his still photo is still the old short cut. Pretty jarring when a guy goes from long hair to short hair in the match announcement video.

Reader Highlights

Let’s start this off with….wait. No one sent anything in?

So yeah, we didn’t have any submissions this week. Remember that this is your section to point out everything that I’ve missed (and I do miss a lot). Plus, the more submissions I get from my wonderful readers, the less you have to read my terrible wonderful wrestling opinions.

Plus I guess the new banner got you guys talking about Kevin Steen, so that’s a positive.

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And with that, the 13th edition of Hidden Highlights v2.0 is in the books. Make sure to send in your reader Highlights so we can return this to being the most reader-inclusive and positive article in the IWC.