wrestling / Columns
The Wrestling News Experience: 05.28.12
Monday, May 28th, 2012
From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
And Who Are You, The Proud Lord Said, That I Must Bow So Low?
Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I’m Stephen Randle, survivor of the Blackwater, and man, am I exhausted from work. You’re lucky I’m just as funny when I’m tired.
I’ll wait for the “yeah, not very” jokes to die down. You disappoint me, people, that was such an easy shot to take, but you couldn’t resist. It was such an easy joke I expect Cook to lead with it tomorrow.
Moving on.
Last week, after helping Johnny Ace secure his position as Raw and Smackdown GM, The Big Show promised lots and lots more pain for John Cena. Then, he followed through on that promise by knocking Cena out as Raw went off the air. With a match between these two men looming at No Way Out, how will Cena respond to the situation this week?
Plus, the building war of attrition between Daniel Bryan and WWE Champion CM Punk took another step forward last week, as Punk used Kane to take advantage of Bryan much the same way Bryan did to Punk before Over The Limit. And with Bryan escalating the matter against Kane on Smackdown, how will things play out tonight? And what’s Cray-Cray AJ doing hanging around Punk so much?
Meanwhile, with Alberto Del Rio now named as Sheamus’ next opponent for the World Heavyweight title, one can imagine that the two will begin clashing in earnest leading up to No Way Out.
And will Triple H be in attendance in order to once again speak on the issues involving Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman? One would expect you’ll have to tune in to Raw tonight to find out!
Change Is Good
So, you may or may not have noticed while gently dozing during last week’s Raw, but the man formerly known as Albert and more recently formerly known as Lord Tensai has undergone a few modifications. While it may have been a time factor as the show ran long, he entered without his kimono and helmet, and the title of “Lord” has apparently been dropped from his gimmick. More importantly, when the match got underway I noticed that there was a significant speed increase and lack of showy “ninjaesque” arm movements that had dragged down his in-ring performances up until now. More succinctly, rather than move like he was pretending to be a 200-pound martial artist, Tensai was wrestling like a 300-pound behemoth, which is what he is. Plus, he was shouting in English, rather than stilted Japanese catchphrases. Hopefully, this means that WWE had actually noticed that none of that over-the-top crap was actually helping Tensai in any fashion and decided to dial back the “crazy Japanese warrior” crap down from 11 to somewhere around 5. And hey, he was far less boring last week! Okay, so it was only for the ten minutes at the end of the show, but you have to believe that moving faster and not waving his arms mysteriously before delivering moves can only help the guy. And while there are still a half-dozen other guys I’d prefer in that role (especially since it seems he lost the plum job of Cena antagonist to Big Show), good on WWE for not doing what we all expected them to do and just shuttle him off the show again as if he never existed.
Well, I Guess We Can’t Go To Brazil Now. Pity.
If you didn’t know by now, WWE has been touring Brazil this past week, and it seems like Chris Jericho may have done some things that almost resulted in him spending a whole lot of time in honest-to-Diablo Brazilian prison. Namely, he kicked a Brazilian flag during his match with CM Punk, and in Brazil, that’s considered desecration. Jericho was immediately accosted by police, and informed that he could either go to jail, or apologize to the crowd for his actions. Jericho did so, and as a further punishment, has been officially suspended 30 days by WWE, meaning he will not be in action for the rest of the South American tour, or the upcoming European swing. Also, I would presume that he won’t be fighting Randy Orton at No Way Out, which, you know, has got to suck for WWE Creative because they already used up their only good “must get Orton on the card feud” for WrestleMania.
Anyway, the reactions to this event have been interesting, and a lot of people felt like a good comparison is to Shawn Michaels and his actions with the Canadian flag during his feud with Bret Hart, which led to Montreal and all that followed and has been talked to death a million times. It seems that some are suggesting that Michaels’ actions caused much less of an uproar than Jericho’s, and passed it off as “different times”.
Excuse me? There wasn’t an uproar? Sure, Michaels didn’t get arrested because in Canada we know that stuff like that is a wrestling angle, but are you forgetting that Shawn Michaels couldn’t step across the border into Canada for 13 years without Canadians getting all angried up about his presence? Even during his second comeback, where he was the greatest wrestler in the world, he was essentially persona non grata, and it took Bret Hart finally coming back, burying the hatchet publically, and hugging HBK in the middle of the ring, before Canada would even consider cheering for him. And yes, a lot of that was Montreal, but the hatred that Michaels engendered in Canadians leading up to the Screwjob made it very, very easy for us to turn on him completely, even in the days where he denied having anything to do with the whole thing. Yeah, we hated Vince, but a lot of people wanted to kill the guy who humped the Canadian flag in the ring before the match.
Of course, maybe this wouldn’t bother me so much if the hundreds of anti-American heels were allowed to do similar things with the American flag. I think the stupidest thing I ever saw was Test threatening that he was going to burn an American flag because you know that in America, that’s never going to happen. People would rush the ring. Or do something stupid, anyway. Nobody would say “it’s not a big deal, they’re heels, doing bad things, and it’s just a flag, anyway. It’s not like they killed somebody”.
So, if the American flag is safe, why is it an “acceptable heel tactic” when you do it to another country’s flag? Do Brazilians care less about the symbol of their country than Americans? Do Canadians? In case you’re wondering, the short answer is “no” and the longer answer is “helllll no”.
And I’m not accusing anyone of anything, I don’t think Jericho should be in trouble for kicking the Brazilian flag and I don’t even care that Shawn Michaels used the Maple Leaf to pick his nose. It’s wrestling. It’s heel heat. It’s the same thing as making fun of the local sports team. I’d just like some equality in our flag desecration activities. Nobody has to burn the Stars and Stripes, but maybe Alberto Del Rio could use it as a sweat towel sometime. It’d be perfect for his character, wouldn’t it?
On the other hand, at least this time the heel doing something stupid in a foreign country resulting in a suspension, no matter how much of an overreaction it might have been. He could have always ended up with a year-long WWE Title reign just to spite people instead. Right, JBL?
Not that I’d mind Jericho having a year-long WWE Title reign, mind you.
– WWE has a job posting for a Creative Director for WWE Network. Apparently the job would entail “help define and create the new Network’s brand identity, positioning and programming promotion”, which I believe translates to “help us, we promised people a TV network and have no idea what the hell we’re doing and need someone to tell us what to do and do all the work for us”.
– Vince Russo reportedly called Dixie Carter “confused” during an interview last week. Well, if that isn’t the terrible writer calling the kettle black.
– Brooke Hogan says that Hulk didn’t know she was in talks with TNA. So what you’re saying is he managed to be a bad father and a bad businessman at the same time? Shouldn’t the guy who’s apparently got a plan to save TNA be paying attention to things like “incoming talent that we’re negotiating with”? Wouldn’t this have to be part of said plan in the first place?
Is everyone happy now? Hey, at least Sheamus gets away with a mocking apology, unlike The Big Show. Maybe Show should start thinking twice about who Big Johnny really values. |
||
He’s really very clever, isn’t he? Plus, we not only got Punk on Commentary (albeit sans Commentary Blazer), but we got Obviously Uncomfortable Punk Hugging AJ. But they can’t find a crappy WWE Films project for him? |
||
Numbers don’t lie, and Christian is 4-0, counting the battle royal, since his return last week. Sure, it’s not the World title, but we should be happy he even got five minutes with that belt, given what the alleged backstage perspective of his age and career path is. And remember, it’s still better than getting beaten up by the Mexicools in his hometown for no reason. |
||
Retained his title against AJ Styles, which might mean something if AJ ever won important matches anymore, and more importantly set a new standard for TNA World title reign length. Who woulda thunk it. |
||
This past week’s jobber squash set a new bar for the new Goldberg, and the double Muscle Buster spot may be a good start towards getting people to recognize just how impressive Ryback is. Next step: hitting it on someone much bigger than him. |
||
Frankly, his ring announcer is a more interesting character and wrestler at this point, but I guess we’re getting another run of Del Rio as #1 contender. Didn’t they decide last PPV that this match was going to suck and said “screw it”? |
||
They’re growing on people, they are. And with the tag division undergoing a small amount of growth (I think we have six teams now!), these two look to be in a good position to be the next champions. |
||
Damn, that girl’s nuts. And she wears a mean handlebar moustache. Also, I always suspected women could stop crying on a dime if they really wanted to. |
||
Show up at one UFC show and suddenly the talk is that he might do UFC and WWE at the same time. How many people are willing to throw millions of dollars at this guy to watch him lose? And how can I get in on that racket? |
||
Time to come back to WWE, Ric. They’ll take good care of you. Well, they’ll probably pay you not to wrestle, anyway, and if you’re good, Triple H might take you for walkies! |
||
Inactive List as of 05.21.12
WWE Raw
– Evan Bourne, out indefinitely as of March 19th (foot)
– Kharma, out indefinitely as of January 2012 (personal)
– Rey Mysterio, out 60 days as of April 19th (Wellness)
WWE SmackDown
– Justin Gabriel, day-to-day as of April 2nd (forearm)
– Mark Henry, out indefinitely as of May 1st (surgery)
– Sin Cara, out 6-9 months as of November 20th (ruptured patella)
– Wade Barrett, out 3-4 months as of Februrary 20th (dislocated elbow)
TNA
– James Storm, out 3-4 weeks as of April 20th (R&R)
– Jesse Sorenson, out at least one year as of February 12th (spine)
– Ric Flair, out 4-6 months as of September 14th (tricep)
Transactions
– Alex Shelley, TNA, released from his contract
– Chris Jericho, RAW, out 30 days as of May 23rd (Brazilian flag laws)
– Ric Flair, TNA, released from his contract
WWE
WWE Champion: CM Punk
– 190 day reign, defeated Alberto Del Rio on November 20th (Survivor Series PPV)
World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus
– 57 day reign, defeated Daniel Bryan on April 1st (WrestleMania XXVIII)
– Next title defense: vs Alberto Del Rio, No Way Out PPV
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
– 8 day reign, defeated Cody Rhodes on May 20th (Over The Limit PPV)
WWE United States Champion: Santino Marella
– 84 day reign, defeated Jack Swagger on March 5th (Raw)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
– 28 day reign, defeated Epico and Primo on April 30th (Raw)
WWE Divas’ Champion: Layla
– 29 day reign, defeated Nikki Bella on April 29th (Extreme Rules PPV)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: Bobby Roode
– 207 day reign, defeated James Storm on November 3rd (Impact)
TNA Tag Team Champions: Christopher Daniels and Kazarian
– 15 day reign, defeated Samoa Joe and Magnus on May 13th (Sacrifice PPV)
TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries
– 254 day reign, defeated Brian Kendrick on September 11th (No Surrender PPV)
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim
– 197 day reign, defeated Velvet Sky on November 13th (Turning Point PPV)
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: ODB and Eric Young
– 81 day reign, defeated Gail Kim and Madison Rayne on March 8th (Impact)
TNA Television Champion: Devon
– 71 day reign, defeated Robbie E on March 18th (Victory Road PPV)
De Marco has The Wrestling 5&1.
Rutherford has The Wrestling Sandwich.
The Boss returns with His Take On TNA’s last ten years.
And this week in TWNE After Dark, I ramble about Ric Flair and TNA and Sheamus and all manner of things, which meant I used up all my time without actually getting to my Question of the Week! Maybe I should spring for the longer time limits after all. I wonder if Kickstarter works for podcasts…
Plus, TWNE After Dark has a Facebook group now, so you can always keep up to date on the state of the podcast!
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.
From our promotional department, I’ve been informed that if you really do like 411Mania and all it provides, or even just me (and really, who doesn’t like me), don’t forget to bookmark the site in your browser or make 411 your homepage, and tell all your friends about how awesome 411 is.
And don’t forget, you can follow all of the everyday goings on in 411 on Twitter.
Stephen’s Twitter
http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma
That’s our show, That Damned Cook is in tomorrow, I will be back next week. Plus, don’t forget to look for me this Wednesday in the Games Zone for Four Player Co-op, and the TWNE After Dark podcast at 10 pm EDT this Thursday!
Here it is, your Moment of Buddy
Buddy’s A Cat Of A Different Coat
That’s All The Truth You Know
Have a good one, and always be a fan.
