Thursday Sports Entertainment News Report 07.26.12: The Newest Wrestling Fan

Greetings, folks, and welcome to another edition of Thursday Sports Entertainment! I’m rested and ready to go after my vacation last week. The family spent a two days in Springfield, MA followed by 5 in Stowe, VT. Both were lovely places, but I have to give props to the awesome folks at Stowe Mountain Lodge, who run a tight ship at an awesome resort. If you don’t know where to go on vacation this year, check out what Stowe has to offer. You won’t be disappointed.

WORLD (WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT) NEWS TONIGHT

Monday’s episode of Raw was significantly up, with the full three hours pulling in a 3.84 rating with 6.02 million viewers. The regular two-hour portion did a 4.02 rating with 6.31 million viewers. This is the first time an episode did over a 4.0 rating for the two-hour period since April 13, 2009, the show two weeks after WrestleMania 25. It’s also the first time the show has averaged over six million viewers since the commercial-free episode in June of 2009.

Well, they started the three-hour era with a bang. I was concerned that WWE would focus too much on re-living the past during RAW 1000. While that would have been a fun trip down memory lane, it wouldn’t do much to build the overall product and lure fans into watching next week. In my opinion, The ‘E hit a great balance between nostalgia and angle advancement, giving wrestling fans old and new a great three hour show.

With the ratings higher than ever in recent years, the WWE needed to provide moments to bring back new or lapsed fans for RAW 1001. Here are, in my opinion, the most important developments from Monday’s show:

1) CM Punk turns heel – The WWE champion leaves Cena to rot and attacks the Rock. Long overdue but completely unexpected, CM Punk embraced his darker side at the end of the show. People will want to tune in to see what he does next, which is the best way to grow RAW’s ratings. And if Summer 2011 is any indication, heel Punk is the best Punk.

2) AJ becomes general manager – Even without watching previous episodes of RAW, AJ was established to be batshit crazy during RAW 1000. Having someone so unstable at the helm introduces a lot of interesting possibilities, and I for one am intrigued to see what happens next week. With any luck, a good portion of new viewers will feel the same way.

3) Daniel Bryan vs Charlie Sheen? While I personally feel that these two will not meet in the ring, your average casual fan doesn’t know that. Sheen is crazy enough to get involved in a wrestling angle, and people like watching to see what manic thing he’ll do next. Perhaps some will tune in to see if there’s any further development on the Charlie Sheen front?

As for Charlie Sheen vs. Bryan, I’m thinking they’ll do something together, but it won’t be a match. It’ll probably be a pre-taped bit that could go one of two ways. Either a) Bryan will show up at Sheen’s house and get his comeuppance in a semi-violent manner or b) he’ll show up and Charlie will do some Anger Management counseling with him, in what will probably be a mildly funny bit.

The funniest thing about Sheen’s involvement was that he quit Twitter just a few days before Raw 1000, where he was supposed to tweet about RAW to his 7 million+ followers throughout the show. I can only imagine the panic Sheen’s quitting caused at WWE headquarters. Despite the fact that WWE can transmit HD signals via satellite, what we got instead was a series of brief interviews with Sheen via a low-quality Skype connection, presumably to preserve the “social media” aspect of his appearance.

– Vince McMahon spoke with THR promoting Monday’s 1,000th Raw. Here’s a highlight:

On the UFC as competition: “We’re in show business, they are a sport. Their ratings are abysmal. They are in the pay-per-view business, and they do reasonably well there. We just set a record for WrestleMania. We had 1.3 million buys for this year’s WrestleMania, and our pay-per-view numbers for our shows have been up 30 percent since then. So, we are looking pretty good.”

WWE is in competition with anyone airing against their programming, and anyone else that offers pay-per-views. UFC offers pay-per-views. Therefore, UFC is competition.

While I get that McMahon is splitting hairs on this one with his “they’re a sport, we’re entertainment” talking point, the fact is that most people don’t have the money to buy both WWE and UFC PPVs with their disposable income. Hell, in this abysmal economy, most people don’t have the money to buy ANY PPVs. Thus, WWE has to convince those in the pay-per-view marketplace that the wrestling product is superior to the Ultimate Fighting product. By default, UFC is competition.

Trish Stratus is not expected to appear tonight (at RAW 1000).

While not confirmed by WWE, it is expected that both Steve Austin and Edge will be at the (RAW 1000) show tonight

And this is why I don’t read these kinds of spoilers. While the “IWC” isn’t known for its stellar journalistic prowess, little news bites like this drive me mad. For those that don’t know, Trish Stratus did indeed appear on RAW 1000, while Steve Austin and Edge did not. Using terms like “It is expected” and “it is not expected” not only use the dreadful passive voice, but basically is another way of saying “I’m just guessing.” I suppose I’m including this because it’s a reminder to take everything you read as wrestling “news” with a grain of salt. In a world of works, shoots, constantly changing plans, and unnamed sources with their own agendas, the best we can hope for is semi-informed speculation when reading wrestling news.

But not from 411mania. 411mania is the bestest!

Steve Austin posted the following on his website today, explaining his absence from Monday’s show…
On July 23, 2012 WWE celebrated the 1,000th episode of Monday Night Raw. I watched the show from my home in Los Angeles. After watching the show, I got on my Twitter account, @steveaustinBSR, to read responses to the show. There were many people blaming Vince McMahon and the WWE for not having SCSA on the show. And there were some folks who had some very negative things to say about me, personally.

Steve Austin

Can’t blame the guy for wanting to be 100% when making a surprise appearance after a long absence. That being said, Austin could have done a pre-taped bit where he congratulates RAW on making 1,000 episodes a la Regis Philbin, or do a little backstage bit, like Mae Young. Still, with everything else booked on the show, Austin wasn’t sorely needed last night. Regardless, here’s hoping Austin gets back to ship shape ASAP and seriously considers a match with CM Punk at WrestleMania 29.

But let me tell you this. If Steve Austin really cared about WWE, he wouldn’t have posted his update on his blog. Oh no. He would have Touted his response! DAMN YOU STEVE! TOUT IS THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE!

Alex Riley was on WWE TV quite often a year ago after turning on The Miz and starting a singles run. He has since been appearing less and less and usually is not booked well.

The push was reportedly ended because of an incident with John Cena. Cena was ribbing Riley in front of other wrestlers and Riley became upset. When he reacted in an angry manner, this was looked at as “breaking the locker room code” among the wrestlers.

This one doesn’t seem right to me. You have Riley, a guy who got busted for DUI, a guy who nearly killed Jack Swagger with a botched powerbomb, being held back because he got butthurt at John Cena? This doesn’t add up. I’m sure Cena ribbed him and Reilly didn’t take it too well, but to state that it’s the reason why he’s in the doghouse doesn’t make a lot of sense, especially considering his previous, more serious offenses.

No, this screams “anti-Cena propaganda” from someone with an anti-Cena agenda. Remember what I said above – take these kinds of reports with a grain of salt. Cena’s the top guy, and he’s more likely to have a target on his back than anyone else on the roster. Plus, many internet folks will want to believe this is true, as gossipy stories about the top dog will only validate their negative opinions regarding Cena.

(From io9.com) Fast Five star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson unequivocally confirmed the rumors that he might play the DC Comics character and ultra-violent, intergalactic bounty hunter Lobo in an upcoming movie. Specifically, his Journey 2: The Mysterious Island director Brad Peyton is involved, according to Johnson, as is super-producer Joel Silver, the man behind such films as Die Hard, The Matrix, and Sherlock Holmes, among many others. The Rock said he is “possibly playing Lobo”, and that it “could be fun”, suggesting this is still a little ways from being anything official.

Another wonderfully worded piece. Johnson unequivocally confirmed that he might play Lobo! Anyway, Johnson should make a good Lobo, if he winds up taking the part. Lobo is a smart-ass, tough, merciless S.O.B., not unlike Johnson’s Rock persona. So in essence, he’s been preparing for this role for over a decade. What do you think, readers? Could Rocky do right by our favorite Czarnian bounty hunter? Personally, I think Stone Cold might be a better fit. Just sayin’.

There was an incident tonight (Monday night) at the St. Louis Airport. C.M. Punk was coming into town from the show tonight in Omaha. A fan asked Punk for an autograph and Punk turned him down. We don’t know the story behind it other than apparently the fan may have been rude in his approach.

But this led to another fan yelling at Punk and causing a scene at the airport. This wound up with Punk throwing the man’s autograph book in a garbage can. The next thing you know, airport police are there with Punk and the guy, with Punk very annoyed at having his time wasted. Other WWE wrestlers were asking fans if they knew “the fat guy” (the guy whose book Punk threw in the garbage can). Punk later went on twitter and made a mention of “unacceptable behavior” and “One person ruins it for everyone” saying he wanted to thank all the respectful fans at the airport tonight and how he just doesn’t like rude people.

Approaching a public figure is always a delicate situation. While the famous individual has a right to go about their business with a degree of privacy, they are also indebted to the public for providing their livelihood. Turning away every fan that wants a moment of your time may result in a negative reputation that could hurt your ability to make money off of those very same people.

And then there are those certain types of “fans” that are purely in it for the money. There’s a whole micro-industry of people that stalk & harass celebrities for autographs that they turn around and sell on ebay. I remember President Obama scolding such an individual during his 2008 campaign, and rightfully so. From all accounts, it seems that it was this type of fan harassing CM Punk, so let’s give Punker the benefit of the doubt on this one.

But should you ever encounter one of your favorite Sports Entertainers in a public place (or any other famous person, for that matter), and you feel you MUST approach them, I’ve compiled a little list of common sense tips to consider when approaching a celebrity:

1) Don’t bother them if they are with their family or a group of friends – especially if they are with kids
2) Don’t bother them if they are in the restroom or any other awkward place
3) Don’t bother them if they are eating a meal
4) Don’t approach them if they look pissed off, tired or otherwise preoccupied
5) Do be polite. Say “Excuse me, please & thank you.”
6) Do be quick, the total interaction shouldn’t take more than 30 seconds. Show them you are considerate of their time
7) If you want an autograph or picture, make it one and done. Don’t ask him or her to sign a pile or stuff or take 10 pictures
8) Did I miss any others?

Personally, I’ve encountered a few celebrities in my lifetime. I once walked next to Al Pacino for 2-3 blocks, but he was on his cell phone so I left him alone. I also once ran into Samuel L. Jackson outside a hotel. He was signing autographs for a bunch of fans, so I gave him a little wave and a nod and continued on my merry way.

I’ve also met some midcard wrestlers here and there, although they were in a more formal table-signing situation, once backstage at MSG and once at the now defunct WWF New York restaurant. The rules are a bit different there, as they’re meeting you for the express purpose of signing stuff with about 10 seconds of polite conversation.

Back in the early 2000s, I knew a bunch of people that ran into some top-tier WWE Superstars, and I thought I’d share their stories with you.

A co-worker from out of town was staying at the New York Hilton. He took a seat at the bar next to none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin. He recognized the Rattlesnake, but didn’t say anything as he couldn’t care less about wrestling. He did go out of his way to call me and gloat, as he knew it would annoy me to no end. (He was right).

My brother went to a bachelor party in Las Vegas, and part of the festivities was attending a UFC event that was taking place there. He found himself standing next to this huge biker-looking dude, which turned out to be the Undertaker. He said hello and shook Taker’s enormous hand (which had a hell of a grip), but was interrupted when someone jumped on top of the Phenom’s back, nearly knocking him over. It was Shane McMahon.

And finally, a group of co-workers were eating dinner at an upscale Italian restaurant in NYC one fine evening. The tables were situated very close together, so close that you were only a few inches from the person sitting behind you. One patron apparently liked to have a lot of leg room, as he would sit far back from his table, leaning back in his seat – so much so that the back of his chair was practically touching my co-workers’ table. Without seeing who it was, one co-worker sarcastically said “hey buddy, if you like our table so much why don’t you pull up a seat?” The man stood up and looked down at my co-worker with an intense glare, and my co-worker sheepishly apologized when he realized that he just insulted The Rock.

How about you, fair readers? Have you ever had any encounters with your favorite Sports Entertainers? How did they go? Anything memorable about them? Post your encounters in the comment section below.

THE NEWEST WRESTLING FAN

My oldest child is a wonderful girl named Victoria. She’s a few months shy of being 6 years old, and she’s curious as hell. She knows that her daddy is a fan of wrestling, but doesn’t really know what wrestling is all about. She’s asked me several times if she could watch wrestling with me, but I’ve always told her that she should wait until she’s older. Recently, I realized that I was younger than Victoria by several months when I first watched wrestling with my father – I was just over 5 years old when I watched Randy Savage crush Ricky Steamboat’s throat with the ring bell. So if I could handle a match like that at 5 years old, then surely Victoria could handle watching today’s PG-friendly product at nearly six, right? So it was with great excitement that Victoria got to watch her first episode of Monday Night RAW with her daddy.

To prove I’m not a totally irresponsible parent, I let Victoria know that everything she was about to see was not real. These are people who are actually friends but pretend to fight each other because they are part of a show. I also explained that she should never try any of the wrestling she sees, because they went to school for wrestling and know how to do it without hurting anyone. Finally, she watched the first hour live, but watched the next two hours over the next few days.

I thought it would be fun to document her reactions and questions while she watched wrestling for the first time ever. After all, how often do we get to be present at such an important milestone? Also, Victoria is a young kid, which is exactly the target audience that WWE is aiming for. And so, without further ado, I present to you the running diary of the newest wrestling fan!

– After silently watching DX come out and checking out the audience in attendance, Victoria’s first question to me was “do girls watch wrestling?”

– After Sandow came out and was kicked around by DX, I had to explain that Sandow was a bad guy and he was being mean, so that’s why the good guys beat him up, which is what you do in wrestling. When they took off Sandow’s robe, she started laughing hysterically. When I asked why, she answered “because he’s in his underwear!”

– She loved the flips that Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara did when they entered the ring, but didn’t understand how they could see through the masks (especially Sin Cara).

– She thought Sheamus was funny because he kept hitting himself in the chest

– When she saw Lillian Garcia in the ring, she excitedly screamed “A girl!” Take note WWE, there are plenty of young girls looking for a positive, female role model in wrestling

– When Jericho came out, she liked that his jacket was “sparkly,” but asked “how come we have to see everyone’s belly buttons?”

– Interesting to note that she only asked what Jericho’s name was. She didn’t seem to want to know anyone else’s name so far

– When Ziggler came out and shook his butt, she thought that was hilarious. You know, because he was shaking his butt. And she’s five.

– When Ricardo was announcing Alberto Del Rio, Victoria said the following: “I can’t understand him. He talks like Dora.”

– When Del Rio was showing off his new aggressive streak, Victoria noticed, gasping “oh my gosh, he’s attacking him!”

– Every move was new to her, so she was taken aback by just about everything they did to each other. She was especially impressed with how they could throw people over the top rope and onto the floor. She expressed concern for their well being, but I assured her that they were okay and that they know how to wrestle without getting hurt.

– She felt bad for Sin Cara, who was getting beaten up by the bad guys. When Sheamus was tagged in and cleared house, Victoria said “He (Sheamus) is a good wrestler. The guy in the mask tried hard.”

– This next part I find hilarious – when the WWE was showing us the Touts from their fans, Victoria kept saying “Come on! Where’s the show?” Even a five year old gets that sometimes people just want to watch wrestling

– In a connection that I found impressive, Victoria told me that RAW reminded her of “the show we saw where people were fighting and everyone was watching. You know, and they ran at each other with horses?” She was referring to Medieval Times, which was saw two months ago. Interesting how people have loved to watch two guys beat each other up since time immemorial.

– For Brodus Clay, she liked the big disco ball and that he used a lot of dinosaur talk. What surprised me was that she didn’t care too much about the dancing.

– She loved it when Clay suplexed Swagger. She kept calling a suplex a “blunk,” as she wanted to watch it over and over, and every time Clay hit the suplex, Victoria would yell “blunk!”

– When Bryan came out doing his “Yes!” shtick, Victoria asked “is that the guy getting married? Oh my gosh he’s crazy!”

– She then added “I like the word yes”

– When AJ spurned Bryan, Victoria was shocked, yelling “but they have to get married!”

– When Punk came out, she asked “what’s that big belt for?” I had to explain the concept of a championship title

– When Punk was standing next to Bryan, she asked “Why is he (Punk) so much taller than him?”

– When the Rock came out, Victoria was very surprised to see the guy from Journey 2 on the wrestling show

– Referring to the Rock, she asked me, and I quote “Is he one of the great ones?” No joke.

– For Miz vs. Christian, I had to explain to her what a pinfall was (“the man in the black and white has to count to three.”) From that moment on, she loved counting along with the referee, expressing frustration when the bad guy kicked out and relief when the good guy kicked out at two.

– After Miz won the IC title and kissed the belt, Victoria yelled “How come he’s kissing it? Ew!”

– When Stephanie came out to confront Paul Heyman, I explained that she was HHH’s wife and that she is mad that the bald man made fun of her children. Victoria wisely asked “so who’s watching her children right now?”

– When Brock came out, Victoria sat up in her seat. She immediately recognized him as a scary man

– In a funny moment regarding Brock, Victoria asked why “that man is a lobster.” My guess is she kept hearing “Lesnar” & “Brock,” combining them into the word “lobster”

– She freaked out when HHH and Brock took off their shirts – “WHY ARE THEY TAKING OFF THEIR CLOTHES?!”

– As soon as Heath Slater came out, she sized him up and said “I’m thinking he’s a bad guy.”

– Victoria was super excited to see a girl (Lita) come out to wrestle Slater

– She sat agape at Lita’s moonsault

– Victoria liked the Undertaker’s fire

– When I explained that Undertaker and Kane were brothers, Victoria started making comparisons between them and her relationship with her younger sister. “So I’m like the Undertaker, but I don’t have a scary face.”

– For the Cena/Punk match, she was confused why two good guys would be fighting each other

– Victoria thought a headlock was one man hugging the other man

– When Big Show ran in and punched out Cena, he got a big “that wasn’t nice!” from my daughter

– When Punk hit the Rock mid-People’s Elbow, Victoria tried to rationalize it, saying “Maybe he was trying to help too, so he pushed him to get his attention.”

– When all was said and done, I asked her what she thought of the show. Her response was “I feel bad for the good guys.” She then asked me to take her to watch wrestling live.

So WWE gets a thumbs up from their newest fan. While Victoria won’t be watching on a regular basis, the seed has been planted, and she’s expressed a desire to learn more about the Sport of Kings. Much like Savage/Steamboat got me into wrestling, it seems like Punk/Cena had a similar effect on my daughter.

NON-SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT THING OF THE WEEK

This week’s Non-Sports Entertainment Thing of the Week is a cute little video called “Written by a kid.” The premise is that the hosts interview a young child, who makes up a story for them on the spot. They then take that story and get some pros to act it out. It’s a lot of fun, and see if you can recognize some of the C-list actors (and one recently minted A-list director) from the clip:

YOU’RE IN FOR A REAL TWEET

And of course, follow all the 411 stuff on Twitter! #spon

http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma

SIGNING OFF

That’ll do it for this week. Make sure you regale us with your stories of encounters with your favorite sports entertainers in the comments. Join us next week as we recount the bizarre yet hilarious story of Booker T’s short reign as head of the KKK. (Card subject to change).

Hasta Jueves,

This is Sean.