wrestling / Columns
The Wrestling News Experience: 07.30.12
Monday, July 30th, 2012
From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
Contents May Have Settled After Packaging
Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and I’ll be darned if that little ol’ Batman movie ain’t one of the better things I’ve seen in the moving pictures industry. Although Avengers was more fun, and I’ll probably re-watch it more, The Dark Knight Rises is the better quality picture. Which is why one will be getting Oscar nominations, and the other will have to settle for being the third highest grossing picture of all time with at least one more sequel in the works plus all ancillary sequels involving the characters separately. Ah well, it’s a rough life, being nothing more than a summer popcorn flick.
Moving on.
Don’t forget, Raw is three hours long forever and ever (yeah, right) now, and starts at 8 pm (still 9 in Canada, though, so they can edit the tape to put the swears back in since we’re mature enough to handle bad language up here).
Last week, CM Punk shocked the world and delighted a percentage of it when he attacked The Rock following his match with John Cena for the WWE Title at Raw 1000. This surprising turn of events has left many, many questions, and hopefully CM Punk will have some answers for us tonight. Beyond “I had my testicles re-attached after losing them about eleven months ago”, of course.
Meanwhile, what of John Cena, who won the match by DQ thanks to Big Show’s interference (because even when he loses, he wins), but did not win the WWE Title and thus goes down in history as the first man to fail to cash in the MITB briefcase successfully. Can Cena get another title shot out of CM Punk? Will he be forced to resort to his old ways, where he mocks the champion with grade school humour until somehow he gets a title shot out of it?
In any event, this week kicks off the reign of Raw’s newest GM, AJ. One can only imagine how she’ll make decisions, since she’s crazy and all, but it should be…interesting, I guess. Also, who’s the GM on Smackdown right now? How come that show isn’t falling to pieces without one?
Plus, the other MITB briefcase is still in play, and Dolph Ziggler wants everyone, especially World Champion Sheamus, to know that he’s always watching and waiting for his chance to cash in and become champion. Could this be the week that Ziggler takes advantage?
And The Miz is the new Intercontinental Champion, so one would hope that there will be someone, somewhere, who would like to take it from him and shut him up for five seconds.
Oh, and will Brock Lesnar be in the house now that his match with Triple H is set for SummerSlam? You’ll have to tune in to Raw, now three hours long, tonight and every night until it becomes unprofitable!
Not So Super
An interesting news item dropped this weekend, as WWE has removed the title “SuperShow” from Raw. Now, before you start thinking that this might be a huge change or maybe a resumption of the brand extension that has lain fallow these many months, think again. Smackdown Superstars will still be appearing on Raw, and Raw Superstars will appear on Smackdown if they absolutely, positively, don’t have anything better to do that evening, and aren’t too tired from working Raw the night before, and if they even remember that Smackdown exists.
Personally, I’m just worried that they thought, with three hour Raws beginning, they might not be able to hold to the standards of a “SuperShow”. If the stuff we’ve been getting for the last year is what it takes to have that title applied, what are we going to get now that it’s no longer a priority? I’m only mostly kidding.
Look, I disliked the brand extension as much as the next guy who needed something to complain about during slow weeks, because it was mostly stupid to pretend that two brands owned by the same company were in direct competition with each other. But, let’s be fair, when they were dedicated to maintaining the damned thing, it actually worked. I wouldn’t ever want to go back to having single-brand PPV’s, because those things ended up as just death, but at the same time, it forced Creative to come up with more storylines for more wrestlers than just the six guys in the World and WWE Title matches, because you had to justify putting stuff on PPV (this is back when they at least pretended they were justifying what they put on PPV, of course). Oh yeah, and there was actually a reason to have two World titles besides “we need another title to sell foam replicas to small children”. Like it or not, the brand extension, when they adhered to it, freshened up the product and even created new stars. And it created so many easy storylines that they can’t do now that the World champion wrestles on Raw every week and people hop between shows with nothing more than a chyron occasionally acknowledging which brand they belong to. Hell, look at the WWE titleholders below. That’s right, except for Sheamus, they’re all technically Raw brand Superstars. Yes, I am crazy enough to pay attention to that sort of thing, even if nobody else has for months. But back to the original point, you had all sorts of inter-brand options: Bragging Rights, Survivor Series matches, all sorts of “brand supremacy” matches, the freaking Draft, these are the things that you can easily build a month of storylines around each year, as long as you keep the brands separate. It’s not necessarily easier than having to come up with reasons why Alberto Del Rio is #1 Contender for the fifteenth straight month, but at least “brand competition” is a story people can understand and get behind. Unlike, say, Alberto Del Rio, Boy…of Desssstinyyyyy.
Man, he’s taking a beating in this conversation.
– Scott Steiner turned 50 on Sunday. But how old is he in Steiner math?
– We have a news item pointing out that TNA’s roster page on Impactwrestling.com is out of date, featuring people who aren’t even under contract. I’d be more upset that the pictures of various wrestlers haven’t been updated seemingly since they debuted with TNA. Bobby Roode hasn’t had a mullet for nearly a year now!
– I know you were all waiting to hear what Ken Doane had to say about John Cena’s divorce being settled, so you’ll be happy to-wait, what? You don’t give a shit what Ken Doane has to say? Huh. I must have vastly over-estimated his power within the wrestling industry or something.
– The Iron Sheik was interviewed about the U.S. Olympic team, because the easiest way to make it clear that the “legitimate” news media doesn’t actually pay attention to pro wrestling’s little idiosyncrasies than by the fact that someone gave Sheik a microphone and then discovered that half the interview was about how much he hates Hulk Hogan and the other half was unprintable. We could have told you that was going to happen, guys!
– The Great Khali had surgery this week to remove a tumour that could have led to potentially fatal acromegaly, the condition suffered by Andre The Giant and Big Show (who also had a similar surgery years ago). That’s right, folks, he could have gotten bigger. But in all seriousness, congratulations go out to Khali on his successful surgery.
– The first ever NXT Champion was crowned at the Full Sail University tapings last week, but the results won’t air on TV for a few weeks and won’t air in the United States at all, because you don’t deserve to watch it. So, is it still a spoiler if nobody really cares who won?
– Apparently Rey Mysterio seriously considered retiring as he recovered from his recent injuries that put him out for most of a year, but he was forced to return when WWE realized that they still hadn’t managed to have Mysterio wrestle Sin Cara, and until Cara defeats Rey, he can never truly assume his power and position, which goes against WWE’s “only one cruiserweight gets a push” strategy. It’s like Highlander, is the joke I’m trying (and failing) to make here.
– And Randy Orton’s Wellness suspension is over! Well, at least that will probably mean the end of Del Rio title shots for a while.
Well, we’ll see what happens, but I can’t help but feel like this heel turn is not going to go as smoothly as WWE might like to believe. Then again, they’ve had a whole year to realize what they screwed up last time, so… |
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I’m almost doing this to annoy the people who hate her and can’t understand the way the Power Rankings work, but AJ is legitimately the General Manger of Monday Night Raw. The only thing keeping her out of the top spot is that she didn’t turn on The Rock. |
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The TNA Champion was on top of his game and flashed his charisma as he played “X Division Apprentice” with Ion’s potential contenders. Plus, he could do worse than having a buddy like Kenny King on his side against Bobby Roode and whomever Aces and Eights happen to be. |
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The lack of build is troubling, but nothing that we haven’t chastised WWE for before, and just like that, The Miz is one World title away from a double Triple Crown. Never say “never”. |
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Do you think he’s losing his touch? I don’t think he’s losing his touch. Just like his initial return, Jericho’s getting the right reactions without saying a word. |
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Must be nice to be such a big star that you get to jump the line and get a WWE Title shot in six months. Although, arguably, in his last match he did beat the holder of the John Cena Main Event title, so he is qualified. And hey, it’s a match at the Rumble that might be considered as good a draw as the Rumble match. When was the last time that happened? |
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I mellowed on Bradshaw a lot after his first retirement, and he’s given some pretty candid interviews that suggest that hey, he’s not that bad of a guy after all. How many people do you know who would voluntarily climb seven of the world’s tallest mountains for charity? Plus, I’d give anything to have him back on commentary, where he could easily reign in Cole. |
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Joe retains his lead atop BFG despite not wrestling on Impact, thanks to Storm’s match ending in a No Contest. Joe had to be hoping for the dreaded “Minus 10 for DQ” to come into play, but Storm’s new distraction centered around Aces and Eights could make smooth sailing for the Samoan Submission Machine. |
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How is it that dressing like The Dude makes Foley look like he’s lost weight? Also, it’s nice to see Mick in a Raw segment that you know won’t lead to him getting his ass kicked, |
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I wouldn’t want to see sixty percent of them try to wrestle, but the sheer force of both comedic timing and lifelong friendship in that ring to open Raw is something that the current product is missing badly. |
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Inactive List as of 07.23.12
WWE Raw
– David Otunga, out indefinitely as of July 7th (movie)
– Evan Bourne, out indefinitely as of March 19th (foot)
– Kelly Kelly, out indefinitely as of June 5th (R&R)
WWE SmackDown
– Mark Henry, out indefinitely as of May 1st (surgery)
– Randy Orton, out 60 days as of May 31st (Wellness)
– Ted Dibiase, out indefinitely as of March 7th (ankle)
– Wade Barrett, out 3-4 months as of Februrary 20th (dislocated elbow)
WWE NXT
– Bray Wyatt, out six months as of July 4th (torn pectoral)
TNA
– Chris Sabin, out 6-9 months as of June 14th (ACL)
– Jesse Sorenson, out at least one year as of February 12th (spine)
– Sonjay Dutt, out 6-8 weeks as of July 8th (shoulder)
Transactions
– AJ, SD!, promoted to General Manager of Raw
– Chavo Guerrero, TNA, made TNA debut on July 26th Impact
– The Great Khali, SD!, out indefinitely as of July 24th (surgery)
– Randy Orton, SD!, Wellness suspension ended
– Velvet Sky, TNA, released from her contract
WWE
WWE Champion: CM Punk
– 253 day reign, defeated Alberto Del Rio on November 20th (Survivor Series PPV)
World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus
– 120 day reign, defeated Daniel Bryan on April 1st (WrestleMania XXVIII)
– Next title defense: vs Alberto Del Rio, SummerSlam
**NEW** WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz
– 7 day reign, defeated Christian on July 23rd (Raw 1000)
WWE United States Champion: Santino Marella
– 147 day reign, defeated Jack Swagger on March 5th (Raw)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
– 91 day reign, defeated Epico and Primo on April 30th (Raw)
WWE Divas’ Champion: Layla
– 92 day reign, defeated Nikki Bella on April 29th (Extreme Rules PPV)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: Austin Aries
– 22 day reign, defeated Bobby Roode on July 8th (Destination X PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Bobby Roode, Hardcore Justice PPV
TNA Tag Team Champions: Christopher Daniels and Kazarian
– 32 day reign, defeated Kurt Angle and AJ Styles on June 28th Impact
TNA X-Division Champion: Zema Ion
– 22 day reign, defeated Kenny King, Mason Andrews, and Sonjay Dutt in an Ultimate X Match on July 8th to claim the vacant title (Destination X PPV)
TNA Knockouts Champion: Miss Tessmacher
– 50 day reign, defeated Gail Kim on June 9th (Slammiversary PPV)
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: ODB and Eric Young
– 144 day reign, defeated Gail Kim and Madison Rayne on March 8th (Impact)
TNA Television Champion: Devon
– 134 day reign, defeated Robbie E on March 18th (Victory Road PPV)
De Marco has The Wrestling 5&1.
Larry has All The King’s Men.
Rutherford has The Wrestling Sandwich.
Sarnecky has The Piledriver Report.
And the newest edition of TWNE After Dark features extensive coverage of what I thought about Raw 1000, now with extra rambling! Hey, look, I managed to change the banner to go with the show’s new time! Click the banner to access the episodes!
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Here it is, your Moment of Buddy
It May Look Cute,
But Five Of Buddy’s Six Ends Are Sharp
When He Lies Like This.
Have a good one, and always be a fan.
