The Wrestling News Experience: 03.04.13

Monday, March 4th, 2013

From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!

Potentially Read By The Miz

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and after roughly a decade of holding out (at least partially due to cruel jokes suggesting I resembled the title character which would have destroyed my fragile self-esteem if that hadn’t already happened years prior in elementary school) , I have read the entire Harry Potter series in just under two weeks. It’s not bad. Fortunately, I’m not one of those people who obsess over things once they start liking them. No, wait, that’s exactly who I am.

Yesterday I ordered the Blu Rays from Amazon. All of them. They arrive tomorrow. I have a day off tomorrow.

Yeah…we may be facing a situation here.

Moving on.

Tonight, it’s another edition of Old School Raw! Well, we all enjoyed it last time, more or less, so hopefully we get something like that again. Confirmed Legends who will be in attendance include pretty much exactly who you’re thinking, but I’ll be nice and list them: Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, Jim Duggan, and Ted DiBiase. I’d imagine there will be more.

Hopefully we’ll also get some storyline development, since we are, you know, on the Road to WrestleMania. After all, we now know that John Cena will indeed face The Rock in New Jersey for the WWE Championship, while CM Punk goes home with nothing. I can’t imagine he’ll take that lying down, though. Meanwhile, with The Rock not scheduled to be in attendance tonight, what will Cena have to say about Cena-Rock II: The Rematch?

Meanwhile, the plot development that everyone saw coming resulted in Brock Lesnar getting 18 stitches in his head after getting run into the ringpost at the hands of Triple H. That will do wonders for his attitude, I’m sure, and I wouldn’t want to be in the ring should his music hit tonight.

Also, it appears our World Heavyweight Championship match is also set to proceed, and while Zeb Colter is providing the controversy, Jack Swagger is also providing the wins, as he has not yet lost a match since returning to WWE, and looks to continue that dominance right through Mania.

Plus, after The Shield was forced to retreat twice last week, the second at the hands of The Big Show, they will probably be looking for a way to regain some momentum tonight. It’s not so much a question of “if”, it’s a matter of “when”, and it will go down tonight, on Old School Raw!

Mid-Card Mania!

So, there are rumours and observations going around that WWE has not, as yet, actually booked anything beyond the top four WrestleMania matches, those being the WWE and World titles, HHH-Lesnar, and presumably Punk-Taker. That leaves roughly 90% of the roster, including all their mid-card titles, without any plans with only a month left before the biggest show of the year. Oh, and despite what I may have hoped in the Raw preview, apparently the plans for tonight is to have Old School Raw be essentially a throw-away show, which means that they can’t even start building those midcard feuds until Smackdown at the earliest, and more likely, next week’s Raw.

Setting aside “these guys deserve real feuds” and arguments like that, here’s the real problem with WWE failing to have any plans in place for the midcard, and it’s best exemplified by last week’s Raw. The show opened with a long promo segment that set up Triple H-Brock Lesnar, which was interesting, well-built, intense, and made people want to see that match. The show ended with an instant classic match between John Cena and CM Punk, which completed the set-up for Rock-Cena II, a feud that has dominated booking plans for over two years at this point. All told, that was roughly one hour’s worth of Raw programming.

And in the centre of those two segments was essentially two hours of “Midcard Musical Chairs”, where everybody was in random matches with no point and nothing on the line, developing no feuds and resulting in a very boring show. Is it really that hard to book a midcard? Does WWE Creative not know that WrestleMania is coming up? Would it have been so difficult to start creating midcard feuds last week, instead of running a “business as usual” show, then having a throwaway one tonight, before maybe, possibly, getting around to it in mid-March?

I feel like we did this last year. Oh right, we did, except it was leading into Elimination Chamber, when Randy Orton went down and the best possible replacement they could come up with (and that’s not sarcasm, he was literally the best available choice) was Santino Marella, who won a battle royal featuring, essentially, the cast of Superstars. I believe I suggested then that the problem was that everyone in the midcard, even the titleholders, were being portrayed as losers, especially when compared to the main eventers.

Well, fast-forward to last Monday. Ryback (main eventer) beat Dolph Ziggler (midcard) cleanly, Randy Orton (main eventer) beat Antonio Cesaro (midcard) cleanly, Jack Swagger (technically main eventer) beat The Miz (midcard…sorry, man, it’s true) cleanly, Mark Henry (main eventer) beat Great Khali (sideshow…I mean, midcard) cleanly, Team Hell No (arguably main event) beat the PTP (midcard) cleanly with one hand tied behind their back and blindfolded, Sheamus (main eventer) verbally defeated Wade Barrett (midcard), and even The Shield got outfoxed by the team of Sheamus and Orton. I’m not saying that everything there was a bad decision (okay, mostly just Mark Henry), but man, doesn’t that sound like a series of either squash or blow-off match results as opposed to a show taking place during the build to WrestleMania? If there is ever a time for screwy finishes, no contests, interference running rampant, and brawls around the arena, then this is the time, when you have a four-hour PPV to fill and the deepest talent roster in pro wrestling at your disposal, who just require reasons to fight each other. Instead, we get clean pinfalls, clean submissions, and everybody goes back to the locker room without a direction for next week. Did they just draw match pairings out of a hat before the show or something?

As always, the Mania midcard will get booked, and it won’t matter because Rock-Cena (and to a lesser extent, Brock-HHH) will bring in the extra buys and it’ll look great on the quarterly report. Of course, three of those four guys who will get the props for bringing in Mania buys more than likely won’t be wrestling at Extreme Rules, so somebody’s going to have to fill those spots. Maybe by then, WWE Creative will have found time to come up with some feuds for the rest of the guys they have available.

– Good news, everybody! Linda McMahon is thinking of running for Congress in 2014! In related news, does anyone have the definition of insanity handy?

– Detroit has joined Orlando as American cities apparently planning to bid on WrestleManias 31 and 32, so I would be shocked if they don’t each end up with one. Assuming Detroit is still a city in two years, and not some bleak apocalyptic hellscape filled with the shrieking masses of the damned. Well, moreso.

– Apparently WWE backstage officials are totally expecting Cena to get booed out of the building at WrestleMania, but the plan is still for him to win the WWE Title at the event as a “redemption” for losing the last two Mania main events. If any part of that sentence made you want to facepalm, congratulations, you are not alone.

– WWE will apparently be attempting to create the world’s largest Harlem Shake (and I really wish I didn’t know what that was) at WrestleMania, possibly because every time they even think about doing that whole “largest group of people wearing masks” thing, either Mysterio or Sin Cara gets injured mysteriously.

– WWE released their fourth-quarter financials last week, and yep, they still made money somehow. That’s the kind of in-depth economic analysis you can expect from someone who has absolutely no knowledge base in that area. Also, there were no useful updates on WWE Network. Try not to look so shocked.

– And Triple H has reportedly convinced his wife, Stephanie McMahon, to get a Twitter account. Almost immediately afterwards, #titsorGTFO began trending on Twitter for some reason.

1. CM Punk (tie) Hard to find a complaint in getting a MOTYC on free television, other than the fact that Punk didn’t win, but really, that was a longshot at best. Now, bring on The Undertaker! At least Punk can feel good about the fact that his match for Mania has actually been booked.

1. John Cena (tie) Yeah, I’m being petty by listing him second, but come on, any points he earned for trying a hurricanrana have to also be deducted for the fact that he horribly botched said hurricanrana. Maybe there’s a reason guys don’t break out difficult new moves as part of their big finishing sequence very often…

3. Brock Lesnar We may not be interested in the foregone conclusion, but by either forgetting to put his hands up, dumb luck, or just being a total badass, Brock managed to tap a gusher on Monday and instantly add incredible intensity to a feud that had cooled off due to being non-existent for the last six months. Gimmick match incoming? Gimmick match incoming.

4. Zeb Colter I feel like it needs to be recognized who is actually carrying the Swagger character at this point, since the man himself hasn’t really done anything but grow a scraggly beard and let his bangs down. We spent so much time saying “if only he had someone to talk for him”, now he’s got someone talking, and they’re totally overshadowing his bland, uncharismatic, lack of personality.

5. Mark Henry You know, all the talk is about Ryback potentially turning heel to feud with Cena post-Mania, but why would they make that turn when you already have this guy available to do much the same thing, only somehow more awesome?

6. Bad Influence Taking the title of “Most Entertaining Heel Tag Team” back from Aries and Roode shouldn’t have been so easy, but somehow they manage it. It’s incredible how much better Impact is to watch when these two are involved.

7. Antonio Cesaro A down-and-up week for Cesaro, but he did win the match where his title was on the line, and in a 2/3 falls affair as well. Of course, since he sort-of cheated on the third fall, this feud with Miz probably isn’t over. Not that I entirely mind, since the matches are good, but shouldn’t a multi-fall match be a feud-ender?

8. Kenny King Well, that was a title win that should have happened a while ago, as RVD hasn’t really clicked with the division, and at this point it might be worth asking if RVD wouldn’t be better off slipping into retirement shortly. Good for King, though.

9. Fandango So, that was Fandango. Or however you pronounce it. On the bright side, nobody will ever remember that he used to be Johnny Curtis (although, hilariously, WWE.com has both Curtis and Fandango listed as separate people on the roster page). Of course, at some point, we should probably see him actually wrestle, so we can see if anybody actually cares about whatever this gimmick is supposed to be.

10. Eric Young Is it just me, or does Eric Young keep ending up in the role of “surprise mystery partner” in TNA? I like that they keep recognizing his loyalty and underappreciated skill with these spots, but his character just seems so out of place in a Lethal Lockdown match that could potentially determine the future of TNA (or something).

Inactive List as of 02.25.12

WWE

– Evan Bourne, out indefinitely as of March 19th, 2012(foot)
– Christian, out indefinitely as of September 1st, 2012 (elbow)
– Hunico, out indefinitely as of November 1st, 2012 (ACL)
– Santino Marella, day-to-day as of February 19th (neck)
– Tyson Kidd, out 4-6 months as of January 10th (knee)

TNA

– Chris Sabin, out 6-9 months as of June 14th, 2012 (ACL)
– Eric Young, out indefinitely as of November 22nd, 2012 (kayfabe injury)
– Jeff Hardy, out for UK Tour (convicted felon)
– Jesse Sorenson, out at least one year as of February 12th, 2012 (spine)

Transactions

– Eric Young, TNA, returned to action on February 28th Impact

– Jeff Hardy, TNA, returned to action on February 28th Impact

– Jesse Sorenson, TNA, moved to front office position, possibly retired from active competition

WWE Champion: The Rock
– 36 day reign, defeated CM Punk on January 27th (Royal Rumble PPV)
– Next title defense: vs John Cena, WrestleMania XXIX

World Heavyweight Champion: Alberto Del Rio
– 52 day reign, defeated The Big Show on January 11th (Smackdown)
– Next title defense: vs Jack Swagger, WrestleMania XXIX

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett
– 63 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston on December 31st (Raw)

WWE United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro
– 197 day reign, defeated Santino Marella on August 19th (SummerSlam PPV)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane and Daniel Bryan
– 169 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston and R-Truth on September 16th (Night of Champions PPV)

WWE Divas’ Champion: Kaitlyn
– 49 day reign, defeated Eve Torres on January 14th (Raw)

WWE NXT Champion: Big E Langston
– 54 day reign, defeated Seth Rollins on January 9th NXT

WWE NXT Tag Team Champions: Adrian Neville and Oliver Grey
– 19 day reign, defeated The Wyatt Family on February 13th NXT to become the inaugural champions

NOTE: NXT Title reigns only count what has aired on TV, not when changes occur at tapings.

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Jeff Hardy
– 141 day reign, defeated Austin Aries on October 14th (Bound For Glory PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Bully Ray, Lockdown PPV

TNA World Tag Team Champions: Austin Aries and Bobby Roode
– 25 day reign, defeated Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez on February 7th Impact

**NEW** TNA X-Division Champion: Kenny King
– 4 day reign, defeated Rob Van Dam on February 28th (Impact)

TNA Television Champion: Devon
– 88 day reign, defeated Samoa Joe on December 6th (Impact)

TNA Knockouts Champion: Velvet Sky
– 11 day reign, defeated former champion Tara, Gail Kim, and Miss Tessmacher in an Elimination Match on February 21st Impact

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: ODB and Eric Young
– 361 day reign, defeated Gail Kim and Madison Rayne on March 8th (Impact)

411 Interviews The Miz, including video evidence that he actually reads this website. I think we’re obligated to start liking him or something, now. Sorry Miz, your face turn still isn’t anything to write home about, but good match with Cesaro on Friday, at least!

Acero has The Wrestling 5&1.

John Hard 2: John Harder has The Professional 3, and a few more weeks before I get tired of that joke.

Hill has The 8-Ball.

And this week’s TWNE After Dark discussed the hour of Raw that was awesome and the two hours that weren’t, plus whether a female wrestler could ever break through at the same level as MMA, and if CM Punk can survive four straight big match losses in a row! Click the banner or go to Spreaker.com to listen to the show!

Also, I promise that we will be airing on Wednesday night this week, live at…let’s say 9 pm Eastern, because I have the day off anyway. Man, now I have to change the banner again…

Also, don’t forget to join the TWNE After Dark Facebook group.

My Reviews on 411Games

Generation of Chaos 6: Pandora’s Reflection
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Earth Defense Force 2017 Portable

411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 8 pm EDT.

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That’s our show, Marsico is in tomorrow, I will be back next week. Also, don’t forget 4PC in the Games Zone on Wednesday, and the TWNE After Dark podcast on Wednesday, airing live at around 9:30 pm on Spreaker.com, posted on 411 shortly thereafter.

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Have a good one, and always be a fan.