411 Fact or Fiction 05.16.13: Extreme Rules, Aries, Briscoe, More

1. WWE has done a good job building the Extreme Rules PPV.

Michael Ornelas: FACT. With Cena/Lesnar last year, and the card this year, WWE has actually done a really great job at not making the PPV after WrestleMania the “WrestleMania Rematch” show. There are so many elements in this Sunday’s PPV that weren’t at WrestleMania 29 that really do make this feel like a strong(er?) show. Regardless of the steam he’s lost, Ryback has been doing decent work as a performer. The Shield is looking to break out. There’s an I Quit match, and I expect the undercard to actually be pretty decent.

Randall Digsly: FACT. WWE has done a good job building the Extreme Rules PPV, in fact it is all they have talked about since the moment WrestleMania went off air. Does this mean that they have done a good job booking said PPV? No. For a few bleak moments of weakness, I was actually looking forward to Extreme Rules. That is until Dolph Ziggler added retrograde amnesia to his list of WWE accolades. I suspect Ziggler is thankful for his concussion and getting his name off of this card. John Cena being undefeated at Extreme Rules is almost as exciting (and pointless) as his slew of masturbating Golden Girls references. Am I tired of the Brock/ Triple H feud? Sure. But I was intrigued when Trips showed up with taped fists this past week at RAW to do a promo. First he cuts his hair, now he does promos dressed to wrestle? How extreme. What’s next… more water spitting? Can’t wait. I am an unashamed Paul Heyman guy, but unless Lesnar plans on delivering a F-5 to Vince McMahon’s tennis playing mother, I don’t care.

I think it’s important that we remember that May has historically been a disappointment. At least to this WWE fan. With maybe the exception of In Your House: 1, not only would I not pay to see, I wouldn’t even steal the majority of these pay-per-views off of the internet. Somebody somewhere is warming up their fingers to comment, “Oh, but what about Jillian Hall defeating Melina at Judgment Day 2006?” To that I have nothing to say, other than Johnny Nitro should have been allowed to remain at ringside.

I think it is important to remember how we ended up with the beloved Extreme Rules PPV. It’s the aborted love child of the One Night Stand chronology. Extreme Rules is not only a reminder of how good we once had it, judging by this year’s card it is a pretty good indication that it will be another decade before a May pay-per-view is watchable again. Remember when Extreme Rules was what ECW used to describe the regulations for all of its bouts and not a poorly executed WWE PPV?

Score: 1 for 1

2. The Shield will win the US & Tag Team Titles at Extreme Rules.

Michael Ornelas: FACT. They should, at least! Kofi, as much as I like the guy as a person, isn’t ever going to be a top tier guy, and he’s held the secondary titles so much that it doesn’t really do anything for him OR the championships. But Dean Ambrose would be a great guy to get behind, and so I think he should definitely get the singles run with the US Championship. And Team Hell No have been GREAT as a team, but they’ve also gotten a really long run with the straps, and despite feuding with The Shield since December, they’ve yet to defend the titles against them. I think it’s time for Rollins and Reigns to win the tag straps to add to Ambrose’s secondary title, and push The Shield as far as they can go. As an added bonus, we may get Daniel Bryan back in the singles division, and a transition to a feud with Ambrose over the US Title may be a good logical next step (although I’d love to see him back toward the top of the card because his first run with the WHC was really entertaining).

Randall Digsly: FACT. With the exception of this week’s Raw, the Shield has proven that they can beat anyone. And I am still a bit confused how they lost this past week or why they lost. Regardless, I like the Shield, but I clench my ass cheeks on a weekly basis watching them, waiting for WWE to screw it up. And yes, I like Team Hell No. But am I excited about a match I have already seen 176 times? Hell no. While still interesting, if there is anything the Shield have already proved it’s that they can beat Team Hell No.

I am excited for Dean Ambrose to get the opportunity to be the United States Champion, but leave it to the WWE Booking/ Creative Team to book a match on their website instead of trying to build a worthwhile feud. Although, I will admit this is a bit confusing. I was under the impression that the primary role of the United States champions was to job to mid-card wrestlers, not wrestle on PPVs. I guess this finally kills my dreams of The Shield winning the Tag Team Titles and defending them under Freebird Rules.

Score: 2 for 2

3. The Chris Jericho/Fandango Dance Off was an effective way to open this week’s Raw.

Michael Ornelas: FACT. Fandango’s super over right now, and Jericho’s perpetually over, so I don’t see any issue with putting these two at the start of the show. I don’t usually like the Dance Off because it’s just a way to cater to children…except here. Like it or not, this segment was completely justified given the feud and the characters involved. And Jericho’s dance partner was super hot, so it’s fine by me. What made this segment different from the typical Dance Off was the fact that we got some promos beforehand. I loved that Fandango refused to dance the first time, too. He totally had the crowd in the palm of his hand with the heat that he got from it.

Randall Digsly: FACT. “The Man of 1,004 Holds” Chris Jericho is always an effective way to open Raw. But at some point the WWE is going to have to give up on the Fandango character. I think Johnny Curtis is a great wrestler, a hell of a performer, and a mildly interesting dancer. Curtis has the potential to put on a dozen good matches with Chris Jericho, but not even the man who once came to “save the World Wrestling Federation” is ultimately going to be able to be the savior of the Fandango character. The WWE need to make up their minds, is Fandango a star, or is he the type of wrestler that loses to the Great Khali in a dance-off?

Score: 3 for 3

4. WWE Saturday Morning Slam will return for a second season.

Michael Ornelas: FACT. WWE loves them kiddies, and the production on SMS is actually really good. They have the kids morning show format down perfectly, and it’s really allowed the characters to fully explore their possibilities. I love comedy matches, too, and those seem to happen pretty often on SMS (or at least comedy spots). I can’t imagine this show not returning, but it will be weird that for once, something in wrestling will have an off season.

Randall Digsly: FACT. “WWE Saturday Morning Slam” is the fastest, most energy-filled half-hour on television. just read their website copy.

Score: 4 for 4

SWITCH!

5. TNA moving Impact to 9:00 on Thursday nights will help their ratings.

Randall Digsly: FICTION. TNA couldn’t get good ratings if they had Hulk Hogan be the first man to leg drop off the moon. But what do I know? Hogan is the man who almost had the George Foreman Grill. TNA should stick to what they are good at, taking Nasty Boys sized dumps on their fans with their never ending stable wars. When in doubt create another stable, and if that doesn’t work change what time the show comes on. TNA makes me dizzy. First they moved from Thursday to Monday then back to Thursday. They moved the time from 9:00 to 8:00 now back to 9:00. It is only a matter of time before they return to the Impact Zone and add a few more sides to the ring. But I am not the first fan to think or say these things. But, hey… maybe moving Impact Wrestling to 9:00 will distract their fans from Hulk Hogan’s sushi bowel movement at the end of his sex tape or him posting pictures of his daughter’s legs on Twitter. My biggest concern here is, isn’t 9:00 past Hulk Hogan’s bedtime? I personally wouldn’t tune in to watch TNA on a weekly basis if it aired at 2:00 Mountain Time on a Sunday. Dixie and company need to change something more drastic than their timeslot if they ever want to effectively fix their problems with ratings, specifically their trouble with hour one.

Michael Ornelas: FACT. Not by much though. But I do think that’s right in the sweet spot, and the second hour won’t have as much competition. TNA’s fanbase has proven loyal, so their ratings don’t fluctuate TOO much, but I think they could see a trivially noticeable improvement at 9:00.

Score: 4 for 5

6. You’re excited about the return of Abyss.

Randall Digsly: FICTION. Now that Abyss is back we can finally see him reunited with his brother Mr. Joseph Park, Esq. Wait… whatever.

The return of Abyss raises more questions than I wish to ponder, where is Janice? Have we seen the last of Joseph Park? Is hope really back for TNA wrestling? I like Abyss, in theory. He is a good big man, and I have enjoyed an angle or two of his over the years, specifically the alliance and feud with James Mitchell and the first couple weeks of his therapy with Dr. Stevie Richards… but the notion that the return of Abyss is truly a “monster of a chance for TNA wrestling” is humorous at best.

Michael Ornelas: FICTION. Abyss never really did anything for me, and Joseph Park hasn’t either. I don’t mind him being TNA’s weapon to use against Aces and 8’s, but it’s not putting my ass in any seat, either. The only match I want to see him in is a hardcore match against Bully Ray, but after that, I’m pretty indifferent.

Score: 5 for 6

7. Austin Aries should be punished for sticking his crotch in Christy Hemme’s face on last week’s Impact.

Randall Digsly: FICTION. TNA needs ratings. Austin Aries’ crotch equals ratings. Christy Hemme thinks it is “unacceptable” yet it’s perfectly okay for TNA cameras to zoom from her feet to her ass, from her ass to her breasts and neglect that she has a face? Christy Hemme should stick to what she does best… doing the “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” with Trace Adkins. Austin Aries is a heel and a good heel never strays away from the opportunity to crotch someone. It’s like my grandma used to say, if you don’t want a crotch in your face stay out of the ring. And you know what? Grams was right. Hemme should know by now that women belong in Country music, in Playboy, and in a monster truck like Madsua. I don’t have my sports entertainment Standard Operating Procedure manual handy, but I’m pretty sure fair is fair. All great ring announcers have taken a crotch to the face for botching an introduction. It is a right of passage.

Mark Madden wants Aires fired for sexual harassment. Madden, the man who was once paid an estimated $150,000 a year by WCW to hate “Diamond” Dallas Page and get pushed around by Tank Abbott, is the last opinion anyone should be listening to. I suggest everyone spend an afternoon sipping a cup of green tea and Googling, “Mark Madden hates women.” Then reflect on Madden’s opinions on Austin Aries. Remember back in 2011 when Madden got into a fight with a female Twitter user for accusing him of being amateurish? Madden was the voice of women everywhere when he tweeted back at her and said, “Look, ur a girl, so … u know nothing & ur opinion is useless. Get in the kitchen, have a kid, dance ’round a pole, something.” Madden should be slapped in the face with Dixie Carter’s tits.

Not only should Austin Aries not be fired or suspended, his crotch should be given a spot in Aces & Eights.

Michael Ornelas: FACT. I’m SO torn on this one, because I heard about the incident, and then watched it…and was really underwhelmed. I was like “Really? That’s what everyone’s making this fuss about?” because it didn’t seem like he was sticking his crotch in her face. It seemed like he was disrespecting her, surely, but the intent to me didn’t look like a dick to the face. He climbed the turnbuckles and posed for the crowd with Hemme trapped. I agree that it’s harassment, but in a wrestling context, I expected much worse.

Score: 5 for 7

8. Jay Briscoe should stay off the Twitter machine.

Randall Digsly: FACT. It would appear that the first intelligent thing Jay Briscoe has done is delete his Twitter page. Historically Jay Briscoe is a Twitter homophobe, and an overall disgrace to the sport of professional wrestling. Briscoe is an old school homophobe, most known for his 2011 tweet about the amount of “f*gs out in New York.” Sure, you could argue he is living up to his redneck persona, but I remember a time when being a redneck in professional wrestling meant you slopped Tammy Lynn Sytch or dumped a wounded Hunter Hearst Helmsley into a hog pen. (I’m intentionally ignoring making mention of “Captain Redneck” Dick Murdoch, the pro-wrestling Klansman who teamed with an African American.)

Briscoe made mention in his ROH apology that sometimes he gets caught up in his character, so you’re telling me that if I showed up to an ROH show I could get Jay Briscoe being a homophobe live and in person? This is the most offensive gimmick idea since I came up with the idea of the overly white male who while traveling the independent circuit impregnates Hispanic cleaning ladies. Remember when the ROH champion stood for, shoot, what was that word again? Oh, yeah… honor.

Jay Briscoe adds the fourth rule to the ROH code of conduct.

1. Shake hands before and after the match if you respect your opponent
2. Keep the playing-field level
3. Respect the officials
4. Hate homosexuals.

Michael Ornelas: FACT. I support free speech, but not hate speech. If you use your social network for evil rather than good (or even neutrality), just either get out of the public eye, or get off your social network platform. I don’t take the threat of shooting in his tweet as seriously as many seemed to (it didn’t feel like a real threat to me, just that he really doesn’t want his son to be gay), but I think he crossed a line that puts him in bigot territory, and I don’t defend it at all.

Final Score: 6 for 8

Michael & Randall agree most of the time, but part ways on a couple of topics. Some interesting stuff here, I thank them for participating and invite you to chime in on these topics down in the comment section. See you next week!