The Heel Report: 05.30.13: New Faces, Old Places

Each Week there are ten places, with points out of ten awarded based on these positions. These points are then added to a rolling chart that will continue each week to show who is wrestling’s overall top heel.

This is a place where the heels of wrestling can be praised for all the hard work they do trying to get us all to hate them, so without further ado let’s get on with the report…

Weekly Top Ten

1st Place: Damien Sandow

This was a bit of an anomaly this week, despite not being dominant in the ring Sandow proved that no one man can rack up more points than the Intellectual Saviour of the Unwashed Masses when given the points to do so. Once Sandow appeared in the ring on Smackdown you knew he meant business and bringing a little classical learning into our lives was a rare treat. Not only that but he showed exactly why the WWE dropped the ball by having him compete in the tag team division for all those months, when really now he should be at the level of challenging for the WWE title, or at least have been in a couple of decent feuds by now. I honestly don’t know what the WWE are doing when it comes to booking their undercard, Sandow is strong on the mic and in the ring and could work a decent program with anyone and yet apart from a few back and forth matches I can’t think of one real singles rivalry to date that Sandow has been involved in. Even his interactions with Sheamus don’t seem to warrant such a feud, even though his mocking laugh as he dodged the fate that had befallen so many before him should have been enough to enrage the Celtic Warrior into a rivalry. I’m not really sure what the WWE are trying to do with Sheamus at the moment, first they put him against a heel who legitimately beats him in contests of strength, and now they have pitted him against a man who can beat him in contests of intellect, only for the Great White to be a douche and cheat or sneak attack the guy, are they trying to make him look like a douce?

2nd Place: Wade Barrett

Yet more testament to the value of mic time, and successfully defending your Intercontinental title doesn’t hurt. Losing to Fandango was a bit of a fly in the ointment, but Barrett getting some new theme music and seemingly a new focus makes up for that little blip, especially when Fandango then went and got pinned by his own dance partner. I really like seeing Barrett, a no-nonsense fighter, lay into Fandango, the flowery ballerina, because surely that is the whole point of the character and both men get to actually show some personality rather than just beating people in matches that don’t matter and sneak attacking faces to prove that they are ‘the bad guy’. I know I write this heel report because I enjoy the antics that heels get up to, but if right now the WWE became a landscape where people of differing philosophies fought to settle these differences, regardless of who was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ I would be overjoyed, and we’d still have ‘heeldom’ it would just be much less defined and if anything else more interesting, the only piece that doesn’t really fit is Miz as the babyface in the middle, but at least they are trying to get him over.

3rd Place: Seth Rollins

Now you have to be asking yourself: “James, you dopey prat, why have you placed Rollins above Ambrose, especially when you are near solely responsible for Ambrose heading up the Wrestler of the Week chart by voting for him separately and above the other members of the group whenever you get the chance in your busy schedule.” Now you might have a point there, but to this I would say that to me the Wrestler of the Week is about overall dominance and advancement in a superstar’s career, focused on meaningful moments and matches in their career. Whereas this chart is basically based on who was the biggest cock this week, along with additional points for entertainment value, and while Ambrose is certainly damned intriguing to watch, Rollins has a mouth on him and is constantly commenting on the ring apron or taunting his opponents, which to me, at least for this week, puts him above his fellow members of the Shield. Plus he scored the pin on Kane to retain the group’s tag team titles on, have I mentioned just how much I love the Shield’s dynamic offence? Each man’s finisher plays to their strengths and works slightly differently while at the same time helping their frantic style and ability to turn the odds in their favour and pick up a victory at a moment’s notice, seriously who is responsible for the Shield and why are they not in charge of every other aspect of the WWE?

4th Place: Dean Ambrose

There you are, you can calm down now. While his partner Rollins snuck ahead of him this week Ambrose is indeed on the upper end of the chart. I thought it was great how the WWE booked it so that in both of Ambrose’s title defences we saw both sides of what makes this guy a force to be reckoned with. On Smackdown we saw how if you ever start to get the advantage on the champ, his brothers in the Shield will run down and take you out, then on Raw he backed up his own individual threats as a singles superstar, so there’s no real weight behind the claim that he couldn’t beat a guy if he didn’t have help from the rest of his group. The WWE booking the Shield as being legitimately talented heels is pretty interesting since it isn’t something they do very often or at least with this consistency. Week after week it is harder for the guys on commentary to criticise the members of the Shield bar when they are actually attacking a guy three-on-one. I honestly don’t mind that the group don’t have too much direction right now as long as they don’t lose momentum with it, and since their momentum has only been growing so far I am going to keep the faith and believe in the Shield as the best booked unit in recent memory, until someone can prove otherwise.

5th Place: Curtis Axel

It’s better than last week, and cheeky Curtis Axel for sneaking in ahead of the third member of the Shield, honestly each week I think I have a favourite member of the group, and then by the next week it has changed, and that is no bad thing! Anyway Axel has now technically gotten wins over HHH and John Cena back to back, now some might scoff that these were count out wins and Curtis wasn’t even the focus of the wins as the camera was mostly on the other man during these time, but bear with me. The very fact that we as fans are expecting more from the former McGillicutty shows that his new associations with Heyman have worked already, a couple of weeks ago if you had read that the guy was even IN a main event match with either of these men you would have laughed your arse off and claimed it another piece of ‘dirt sheet bullshit’, but now we are saying it is bullshit that he didn’t win those matches. Now I’m not making apologies for HHH, in fact last week I was complaining about how he handled the booking of that match, and I stick by my complaints as handled a little differently Axel could be even better off than he is now, potentially by miles, but at the same time as long as they keep this ball rolling it will gain momentum. I know that he has had his problems in finally getting to the main event level but it is the same thing happened to Dolph Ziggler to set him apart from the crowd. He had been through a bunch of gimmicks and still didn’t really stand out, then out of nowhere he got a couple of victories over the Great Khali, through chair shots and count outs and whatnot, and all of a sudden people were paying attention to him, and succeeding or not his name was on the lips of the IWC after that and the name Curtis Axel has certainly been on the lips of many a wrestling fan since his re-debut on Raw, the only question now is who will be the kid’s next ‘victim’?

6th Place: Roman Reigns

Reading a recent interview with Reigns I thought it was great how he regarded his role in the team, it was some kind of American Football analogy and I don’t pretend to even care about that type of thing (ridiculous padding!) but his mentality gave me another level of respect for the guy. Having said that his role as ‘D-lineman’ (Defensive Lineman?) doesn’t afford him much of a chance to steal the spotlight, that is unless he is picking up victories with his devastating spear, thus he is relegated to being below his brothers on the chart, but for how long?

7th Place: Bully Ray

The President of the Aces & 8s continues to be the best thing about Impact Wrestling right now, although to be fair it always seems like there is one top heel keeping everything together for the past couple of years so it really is no big surprise. The Bully showed some nice psychology this week by going after Brooke in an indirect way to make Hogan and Sting question her situation with that no good bastard, do you know who he is?

8th Place: Fandango

Curtis still seems to be having a lot of fun with his character, despite not becoming an overnight sensation like many thought after that first night on Raw after Wrestlemania. I like Fandango because he is an actual character, not that most heels in the WWE aren’t, but as we saw this week his dancer gimmick really gives his opponents something to work off of, in fact I think the whole ‘say my name’ gimmick might have been acting as a bit of a distraction from the simple fact that this guy is supposed to be a dancer in a world of wrestlers, which really should be causing more of a stir than it is. On top of that he has now been pinned by a girl, his own dance partner no less, oh well at least now we know who is on top in their relationship (yep, I went there).

9th Place: Paul Heyman

He mocked Bret Hart in his hometown, lynch him! Seriously though Paul Heyman is becoming an even more coveted commodity than he was before, I just hope he doesn’t leave again as this whole idea that ‘Paul Heyman manages champions’ is gold and could be used for years to come when trying to give new stars and floundering talent a leg up. Of course no one wants to see it diluted, but in wrestling it is hard for anything not to be run into the ground outside of acts of god or a genuine lack of interest, hell forget wrestling, just look at American television in general, if a show is successful it will be extended beyond all sense or enjoyment until it is a shambling mockery of its former self where no one really likes it anymore, but they still watch it, if only to see what new depths it will sink to as it spirals down deeper and deeper into its own well of despair; Office US I am looking at you.

10th Place: Bray Wyatt

I have to say I am pretty impressed with the WWE here, if only because somehow they have managed to gradually raise the profile of this man and his group in preparation for their debuting on the main roster, either that or it has been one big coincidence. Just take a look at a couple of my last reports and you will see that the Wyatt Family have been cropping up more and more and they are now set to take things to the next level, while at the same time attempting to dominate NXT. What will be interesting is that at some point the group will have to have a run-in with the Shield, and who knows where that might lead.

(Week 95):

1. Dolph Ziggler (308)

2. Robert Roode (305)

3. C.M. Punk (288)

4. Alberto Del Rio (281)

5. Daniel Bryan (274)

6. Cody Rhodes (272)

7. The Big Show (271)

8. Mark Henry (261)

9. Bully Ray (243)

10. Austin Aries (204)

The Wright View:

Cena Smiles and Claps

I love how Cena is so predictable and repetitive that you could easily start chanting ‘same old shit’ in the comments section due to the amount of times I have had to complain about this type of thing, and yet it still persists. Every time Cena is on screen he undermines the product by treating everything like a joke. A man supposedly nearly ends your career at Extreme Rules and looks to do so again at the next PPV, will you have time to recover? Should you be legitimately concerned for your title? Better yet your very life? Do these factors weigh on the shoulders of the returning John Cena? No, instead he gets super serious for a second before making everything one big joke again, no-sells his injuries and the events of the PPVs like they didn’t even matter and then announces a three stages of hell match like it is a fun day out in the park. Cena honestly seems to think that ‘family friendly’ programming means that everything is all smiles and laughs when really all he is doing is making the product unwatchable for at least 50% of that audience. Then in his loss to Curtis Axel he acted as if it was all some big joke, d’oh that Ryback, trying to take my title and end my career and now making me lose to some guy who shouldn’t even really be competing against me, oh well, what does any of it really mean to me anyway, I’m John Cena. Now this attitude would actually be fine if Cena was actually losing to every Tom, Dick or Harry, which at this point he could do since he has already cemented his legacy and could lose every match from this point and still be just as big for the rest of his career. And yet he still is booked for the most part as invincible, even in the ‘worst year of his career’ he wins most of his matches and main events almost every PPV, no wonder everything is a joke to this guy. People give Brock Lesnar beef for leaving the WWE after only two years once everything was handed to him, Cena is much worse because of the very reason that he stayed. If everything is handed to you and there is no challenge, if even winning the WWE title from a bitter rival is all just another day and nothing serious, then fucking leave! Do something new! Try something that will actually challenge you! Don’t just stay in the same place, keeping down all the other guys that have to struggle day in and day out to even be able to step in the ring with you, or at least devote your time to getting everyone you face off against over, and if you do agree to give someone the win, you could at least act as if it is something that pisses you off, if you never lose then it should be a shock to your character, especially when you were screwed!

Sami Zahn

As irritating as the Cena situation is and has been for years now, the WWE to their credit are actually increasingly building new stars, and using their developmental ground of NXT to do so, a far cry away from NXT Season 3 and the seemingly never-ending ‘NXT: Redemption’. The latest talent to get off to a good start on the show is the former El Generico, who managed to pick up two victories in his debut night on the show; one against Curt Hawkins and the other against Antonio Cesaro. Despite the relatively bad positioning of these two it is still a pretty big deal for a guy’s first night and shows that the company must have a lot invested in the guy going forward. I suppose that is where my real praise lies, while the WWE have the same old Cena problem of being too afraid to give anyone else a real chance as the face of the company, and Cena seems content in his role, no matter how much it hurts the business in the long run, they are also very willing to put time and effort into building up the next generation, most of which seem to be former ROH and independent stars in general, which is nice to see. I just hope Sami can keep up his momentum as he looks a bit like a more believable Sheamus in his character, and that I could get into, even if it is a less striking brand to market.

Summer Rae Beats Fandango

Say what you like about this destroying any momentum Fandango had left from his Wrestlemania win over Chris Jericho, I found this pretty entertaining, and to me Curtis isn’t the type of wrestler that needs to win to get over, or even look good, he is a creepy dick and he will remain that way no matter what position he is in, even being pinned by the flexible Summer Rae, and anyway, who wouldn’t want to be in that position? Even if her face does make her look a little like a much hotter, and certainly more tanned, version of the puppet from the Saw movies.

The Knock-Out Tag Titles

Seriously now, if you hadn’t noticed, the reign of the Knockouts Tag Team Champions has now eclipsed that of the former WWE champion; C.M. Punk. Now really that just makes everyone look bad and further serves to devalue the state of all championships in professional wrestling, which in general is at an all-time low anyway. The worst thing is that the end of these belts, or even the reign of these champions seems to be nowhere in sight as nothing has been mentioned about the belts for ages now. ODB is currently a referee, and Eric Young is in the midst of having throat surgery, the whole thing is just a shambles and for every Bully Ray and Greatest IT Factors title win they will always have things like this to remember that they are still a joke of a promotion as a whole, and compared to the WWE that is saying something.

Cheap Pops:

Nick Marsico has the news in The Tuesday Communique

Michael Benjamin presents the top thrown together tag teams in The 411 Wrestling Top 5

Dino Zuko hits us up with the second edition of Smart Marks

Joseph Lee Lists the Horror Villains that should really stay dead in A Bloody Good Time

The 411 staff and myself rank it up again in The Wrestler of the Week

That’s all for this week, Slammiversary is just around the corner and if TNA do something crazy like have Sting win the belt then I am not sure I will be able to stomach another second of this Charlie-Brown-Football shit that they do where they tease us with some interesting events and promotion of actual deserving talent and then go and do something like give the belt to some twat in face paint, which seems to happen every six months, whether that twat be high on smack, or too old to really go full time anymore. Also I can’t be the only one seriously missing Dolph Ziggler from WWE programming, if we didn’t have the Shield then I reckon things would be a hell of a lot worse right now and I hope this time off has made the WWE realise just how much Ziggler brought to their product in terms of overall presence, despite the fact that they barely ever let him on the mic or win a god damn match for that matter. Perhaps they will buck their ideas up when he returns, for now this is James Wright signing off.