Wrestling’s 4Rs 9.13.13: WWE Raw & ROH TV Reviewed

Michael Elgin vs. Paul London – I have no clue why Paul London is not working for TNA or the WWE. I mean, I guess he isn’t in the WWE because Triple H hates “cruiserweights” but damn London can still go. He isn’t really a flippy floppy spotty wrestler anymore and actually uses more of the WWE style while still pulling out innovative moves here and there, but the guy is just amazing balls in the ring. Michael Elgin is still Michael Elgin, one of the best big men in the industry today. Together, they put on a match that you couldn’t take your eyes off of. This was a fantastic main event and one of the best tournament matches so far.

THE RIGHT:
The Cutting Edge: Hey everyone, Edge came back! Woo, yeah! Sometimes I think WWE’s treatment of Edge is a little hysterical, and that’s he’s not the legendary icon that they make him out to be, but I do like ol’ Rated-R, and he put on a good performance here, sparring with Triple H in a most enjoyable fashion. Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton’s appearances were good as well, and while this wasn’t ground-breaking television or anything, it was a nice, entertaining introduction to what would turn out to be a cracking show.

Doctor, Doctor, I Keep Being Attacked by a Cane Wielding Psychopath: Ahahahahaha this segment. “IN RING KNEE EVALUATION LIIIIIIIVE ON MONDAY NIGHT RAAAAAAAAAW” does not sound all that exciting no matter how much early nineties Vince McMahon tries to claim it is in my head, but we’re all so invested in the Punk-Heyman feud (aren’t we?) that they can get away with it. I was entertained through this whole segment, even when the WWE doctor was sort of just looking at Heyman’s knee-cap, and Punk’s eventual appearance to cane Heyman’s phony doctor was cathartic and exciting and got the response it deserved. As great as it is I don’t think this feud can stretch much longer, and a break post Night of Champions, pending a Lesnar-Punk rematch, would be most welcome. Still, this segment worked overwhelmingly well, and proved to be a shining moment for the humble knee. Triple H must be very proud.

Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro: I loved this match so much. For future reference, so people can get a barometer of my tastes in wrestling, I would happily watch a three hour Raw made up of nothing but matches like this one. I know Santino Marella isn’t exactly the finest purveyor of highbrow wit in the world but having been absent for a while I was happy to see him, and so were the crowd. His goofy little strut and the Cobra and his celebratory trumpet all made me grin, and so did Cesaro’s insane giant swing- is he the most under appreciated talent in the Western wrestling world right now? Anyway, come to think of it I watched pretty much all this with a big smile- it was just a heart-warming bout that made me glad to be a wrestling fan. Hot crowd, cool moves, some funny moments, a feel good ending- there’s not much more you ask for from a bout like this.

Goldust vs. Randy Orton: I give this an A in concept, an A in effort, and about a C+ in execution. The idea of bringing back a popular former superstar to feed to a current contender is a sound one, and they made a fantastic choice in Goldust- the video packages to introduce him to newer fans were typically well made, people were into him, and he was clearly hugely excited for the match. However, I wasn’t really in love with much of the match, it was a bit too slow and generic for my tastes, and had it not had the Cody Rhodes stipulation riding on it I don’t think it would have held people’s interest in the way it did. Still, come the finishing stretch I was biting on the near-falls and cheering Goldust on, and I felt properly disappointed when he lost, so they must have been doing something right. Certainly, there was more than I enough I enjoyed about this to put it in the right.

puRgatoRy:
Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel: Having Axel suffer two consecutive defeats in the run-up to his match with CM Punk is a bold booking move, but considering people’s interest in Punk-Axel comes from the expectation that the rule-breaker will lose, I think it’s actually quite a smart idea to make him look fairly vulnerable going into the match. Still, this bout wasn’t all that interesting and the finish was a let-down. Purgatory because I’m feeling generous and I like the build-up.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt: This was an entertaining clash of styles, and it’s good to see Bray Wyatt taking down some relatively big names, but if the reason for Ziggler’s dramatic fall from grace is because of something he said in an interview then it will be an unwelcome reminder of how petty wrestling can be sometimes. Fine him, berate him, whatever, but don’t degrade him to the detriment of your product.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose: I didn’t really get into this in the same way the crowd did- the early stages were a little bland, I felt, and the finishing stretch, while a massive improvement, wasn’t quite enough to deserve the “this is awesome!” chants it received I strongly suspect I’m just spoiled though, and that if this had been the main event even a year ago I’d be raving about it. Dean Ambrose is fantastic as well, isn’t he? His physical charisma is comparable to that of perhaps anyone in WWE history. I didn’t really enjoy the melodrama with the Big Show at the end, but at least Bryan got one over on Orton for once, even if it was a bit rushed. All things considered, purgatory seems the right place.

THE WRONG:
R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio: This was solid in terms of wrestling, but the crowd didn’t care even remotely, and it’s a sad state of affairs when a match featuring the World Heavyweight Champion attracts that level of apathy. The in ring quality wasn’t enough to overcome that hurdle. Good to see Del Rio win clean though.

The Miz vs. Damian Sandow: See above. Crowd didn’t care. I didn’t care. Fandango’s appearance at least drew a reaction but was fairly pointless. Nothing to see here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback: Another flat, nothing match. There was at least an interesting mesh of styles in this one, but any positives that gave were taken away by the sloppy finish. Boooooo.

THE RIDICULOUS:
Six Woman Tag : Generally people in the comments section seem to be a lot more positive about this ‘Total Divas vs. Regular Divas’ angle than I do, and I can understand and appreciate the optimism- it certainly made me rethink my position. However, this Six Woman Tag realized all my worst fears about this storyline- AJ being mocked viciously by Jerry Lawler and JBL on commentary for daring to take her title seriously, while in the ring the same old Divas match took place. The idea of a civil war within the Divas division isn’t a bad one but there has to be fundamental change in the way WWE treats its women if any Divas rivalry is going to turn out to be much more than a waste of time. In between Lawler and JBL’s barely disguised sexism and the lack of action in the ring, I found this just embarrassing.