The Wrestling 5&1 09.14.13: Gail Kim vs. Rosa Mendes

Jim Ross is gone and Michael Cole is still here. If you didn’t think the world was cruel before…

Five Things That Must Happen At WWE Night Of Champions
By Greg DeMarco

WWE presents their annual Night of Champions pay-per-view event this Sunday, emanating from the historic Joe Louis Arena in Detroit Michigan. As with each event, I’m here to present to you the five things that must happen on the show.

Dean Ambrose must defend the United States Championship
This isn’t about Dolph Ziggler, and it’s not really about Dean Ambrose. It’s about the United States Championship. Currently the only championship not represented on the card—I know the Intercontinental Championship isn’t being defended, but it is being represented—the title needs to appear in a Night of Champions match.

The best opponent is in fact Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler is an amazing in-ring talent, and you know he and Ambrose can deliver. Another great option is Kofi Kingston, who is coming off of a win over Antonio Cesaro on Wednesday’s Main Event broadcast. Kofi also appears on the event poster…even if that’s a minor detail.

Hell, feed Ambrose Santino for all I care!

While I’m at it, I’ll add that Ambrose needs to win, and do so in a relatively clean fashion. I think the WWE has big plans for Ambrose, including a strong singles feud in 2014.

Ricardo Rodriguez needs to turn heel and rejoin Alberto Del Rio
Let’s face it, RicRod’s pairing with Rob Van Dam is just odd. It makes sense that he’s trying to get back at Alberto Del Rio, but it doesn’t work. And it’ll be even more odd when the feud is over. Can you see Ricardo Rodrigues managing Rob Van Dam in a feud with, say, Damien Sandow?

Me neither.

The fact is, Ricardo’s role as Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer is the peak of his WWE career. He’s not going to get a big singles run on his own, and he’s not going to take down his former best friend for the World Heavyweight Championship.

So at Night of Champions, Ricardo Rodriguez needs to turn on RVD and rejoin ADR. Then, at Battleground, have RVD beat ADR in a non-title match to earn 5-minutes with Ricardo Rodriguez. I know it’s close to the angle with CM Punk and Paul Heyman, but I don’t care. It’d then lead to the blowoff at Hell in a Cell, where RVD gets ADR one-on-one to end the feud.

The Real Americans need to challenge for The Shield’s WWE Tag Team Championships
WWE has positioned a 5-team tag team turmoil match at Night of Champions, where the winning team will challenge The Shield. None of the teams have been properly built to challenge The Shield, and none of them are going to beat The Shield.

So why The Real Americans?

It’s simple, really. They’d provide the best match against Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. I know it’s a heel-heel match, but The Shield are typically over, and with no build there’d be no real support for any opponents in this one. So I’m picking match quality over seeing a face team challenge The Shield.

Long term, I think The Prime Time Players will be the team to unseat Rollins & Reigns. But that hasn’t been built, so it should wait for another event. On Sunday night, the Shield should reign supreme, and the best match would come thanks to The Real Americans.

CM Punk must be pinned by Paul Heyman
CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman is the #2 story in the entire WWE today, and it’s considered by many to be the best. I rather enjoy the rise of Triple H in the Mr. McMahon role, so let’s call them “1” and “1a.” Either way you stack it up, CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman can’t end at Night of Champions. There’s more story to be told before Paul Heyman truly pays for his sins against CM Punk.

So what do you do? This as a “Handicap Elimination Match,” and I fully expect Curtis Axel to be eliminated after carrying most 99% of the weight for his team. Once he’s gone, I see plenty of begging off for Paul Heyman. Punk will get his hands on him, but it won’t be as satisfying as CM Punk has promised. I believe we’ll see some sort of distraction—either the debut of a new Heyman guy or Brock Lesnar’s music—that sees Axel return to the ring. From here a disqualification victory for Punk is possible, but the biggest impact comes from a beat down of Punk that leads to Heyman scoring the fall.

So when does CM Punk finally get revenge on Paul Heyman? I think it could be a creative way to use Hell in a Cell, with CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman taking place within the fences, giving Heyman no place to run and no place to hide.

Randy Orton must defeat Daniel Bryan and retain the WWE Championship
This isn’t just a “must,” it’s a no-brainer. How could there be any other result?

No.

Randy Orton just won the WWE Championship at SummerSlam by cashing in his Money In The Bank title shot, aligning with Triple H and stealing the title away from Daniel Bryan—coming the “face of the WWE” in the process.

For him to lose now would be the personification of the term “too soon.” This isn’t a 4-week story, it’s one that likely ends at WrestleMania…with Daniel Bryan not actually beating Randy Orton. The real story here is Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H, which is the most likely eventual payoff.

I also think Orton shouldn’t win clean. In a loss, Daniel Bryan needs to be kept legitimate. So I see a crooked referee (Brad Maddox anyone?) or some Shield involvement leading to the loss for D-Bry. The feud, and one of the deepest storylines we’ve seen in years will likely continue through the rest of 2013, and—and maybe beyond.

You Decide: What “must” happen at WWE Night of Champions?

Five Things That Might Happen At WWE Night Of Champions
By Tony Acero

In the interest of entertainment, and with the short-lived One-yun hitting the hay in record time, I figured I’d give you a little something fun to read. I cannot guarantee laughter, but if my mom is any real critic, then you’re in for a treat! This will be more than just an exaggerated prediction, though! It’s a give and take here at the 5&1! I’ll set five scenarios up and I want you guys to finish them off! Be as outrageous as possible, or as literal as possible! GET EM!

The Big Show Will Seek Help
In backstage segments throughout the show, The Big Show will be laid out on a couch far too small for him while Dr. Shelby sits by, listening to the woes of the big man. Although Dr. Shelby specializes in anger management, his attempts to quell the sadness of The Big Show are not without effort. During the last segment, the Big Show’s button-up coral shirt is soaked with tears as he tells of his latest worry:

Shane McMahon Makes A Surprise Return
In an effort to prevent any more abuse of Daniel Bryan, Shane McMahon makes his return at the very start of the show. He claims that he cannot sit idly by as his brother-in-law attempts to destroy a broken man, reminding all of us of a blue-blooded, long-haired, sir that bowed before entering the ring not so long ago, and how his nose never quite made it to the “face of the WWE” territory. Just as Shane McMahon is about to announce his presence in the Main Event as a man in Daniel Bryan’s corner, Stephanie McMahon comes on the screen to say:

Billy and Chuck Will Make a Return
Afraid that Darren Young will soon steal the dead gimmick of gay tag team partners – and do it better – both Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo interrupt the tag team pre-show match and attempt to take the win for themselves. Los Matadors are another surprise entrance, but it is short lived as they get eliminated faster than Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania. The Primetime Players beat the final team of Tensai and Brodus Clay as the music of Billy and Chuck hit and:

AJ Lee Professes Her Love To A Man In The Crowd
A guy in a Batman shirt sits front row with an AJ sign that says “AJ, Will You be the Deadpool to my Vanessa Carlyle?” After her win over three other divas of no importance, she heads to the outside, grabs the sign, checks yes and looks the man dead in the eye:

Daniel Bryan Will Win the WWE Championship Then Damien Sandow Will Cash-in His Blue Briefcase
After Bryan’s win with a small package over Randy Orton, he celebrates. Confetti falls, and Bryan is crying. The crowd is full of YES until the anointed savior of the masses comes running down sans robe but with briefcase, and tells the ref he’s cashing in. The ref questions it until Triple H comes out and stands at the top of the stage with a smile:

There ya have it. I set up the scenarios, you play em out. Yes, this is childish, and probably one of the cheaper ways to get a point done, but I have little time right now, and I figured there’d be some of you that can have some fun with this.

Gail Kim is on a tear, and Alicia Fox was her latest victim. How will she fair this week against the lesser-boobed Funkadactyl, Cameron?!

Voting ends Wednesday night and you can vote once every hour!

Open Letter To The WWE: Crown a New Intercontinental Champion…NOW
By Greg DeMarco

Dear WWE,

I’m writing you today to appeal to your sense of reality and your desire to do what’s “best for business.” At the next available opportunity—even a house show—please crown a new Intercontinental Champion.

Now, allow me to explain that I’ve been a fan of yours since the first WrestleMania. In fact, I track my years as a fan by what WrestleMania it is. I started reading 411Mania when it was a crappy GeoCities site, I have worked “in the business” and I’ve been writing and podcasting about wrestling for three years now.

Basically, I’m in the 25%, those fans who will watch no matter what you do. Your decision to grant or ignore my request will have no bearing on my actions as a fan. If I didn’t leave after Katie Vick, I ain’t leavin’ now. I’m not your target audience. In your eyes, I likely “know too much.” So I may not be the best person to give you advice.

But it doesn’t mean that I’m wrong.

I like Curtis Axel. I really do. He’s a good kid who has an amazing pedigree (the distinguished ancestry, not the double underhook facebuster). He’s got the look and—despite with my colleagues here at the Internet Wrestling Community say—he’s got the “It Factor.” I understand that you want to see what you have in Axel, and really give it a go with the guy. I am 100% behind you in this.

But in all honesty, Curtis Axel’s reign is doing nothing for the Intercontinental Championship. And the Intercontinental Championship? It’s doing nothing for Curtis Axel.

Curtis Axel currently finds himself in the middle of the second most important storyline in the company. CM Punk is currently one of the five most important performers on your roster, his storyline with Paul Heyman is the longest-running and most entertaining, and we as a fan base (both hardcore and casual) are sucked in. The title means nothing here.

Many people argue that the championships are little more than just props. And in the theatrical definition, they’re right. But an effective prop adds to the scene, either overtly or subtly. This prop is accomplishing nothing—it’s a waste of leather and “gold.”

You have plenty of talented wrestlers on your roster who aren’t involved in the second most important storyline in the company, and who can benefit from holding the Intercontinental Championship. Men like Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Ryback, and…well, that’s about it for former members of The Nexus who I think would make better Intercontinental Champions than Curtis Axel.

Actually, you can add Darren Young to that list.

But not David Otunga.

I’m not asking you to restore the Intercontinental Championship to its glory days. I’m not sure those glory days are really there. For every Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, Rock, Triple H, and Edge there’s a Tito Santana, Greg Valentine, Honky Tonk Man, Shelton Benjamin, Bully Gunn, Albert, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino and Kofi Kingston. As much as we don’t want to admit it, the belt isn’t always a predictor of future greatness.

But it would be better served propping up someone other than Curtis Axel.

As always, I appreciate all that you do for us as fans. Pro wrestling—err, Sports Entertainment—is an escape from real life. And it’s one that I will always love.

But seriously, bro, do something better with the Intercontinental Championship.

Your Friend,

Greg DeMarco

P.S. – Follow me on Twitter, @gregdemarcoshow!

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Free Write
By Tony Acero

I think the IWC is still in a bit of shock at the news of Jim Ross’ retirement. I mean, if you guys are anything like me, it’s not a wrestling world without Good Ol’ JR involved. Still, when was the last time we saw the Sooner? Anyway, it comes with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to the man, and this picture above depicts an all too real reality that truly hurts. I remember a time when Michael Cole was detested by all, but heard by few…a time when NXT Season 3 was at its most atrocious. These are the dark days of commentary. Thankfully, it’s nowhere near as bad as it was during that time, but the unfortunate demise of the career of JR, and the subsequent handing of the torch to one Michael S. Coulthard has really left a taste in the mouth of fans that we have yet to get rid of. In fact, we will look back at the early 2000’s and realize that the voice over is not Jim Ross, but Cole. He has become the voice of the WWE, and I’m not so sure that’s ok.

I suppose we have accepted the fact that the commentary team is nowhere near what it should and has been, but where do we go from here?

Onto another point that this picture brings up, how much of a hole will JR truly leave? I’m not defending the “retirement” that he was seemingly forced to take – I don’t even want to get into who is to blame for Flair and his alcohol abuse. What I am saying, however, is that I truly wonder just what the hell JR has been doing aside from writing a blog and making bbq sauce (neither of which have much to do with the WWE). I don’t think this is really a loss to the WWE, but I will say that I think the send-off he has been given is pretty lackluster. I expected a show circled around him, with confetti falling, and some great classic ‘calls’ that he once did. But alas, we get a WWE.com blurb and a 10-gallon hat full of memories…

You Decide: What would you do to send Jim Ross off proper?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Facebook page, Tony posted this pic for all to comment on…

And the commenter with the most “likes”???

Zach Bynoe: “I’m a wheeling dealing, kiss stealing, face peeling, bar tab leaving, son of a gun”

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Our very own SU YUNG is the lovely And1 Model of the Week!

Tony Acero is currently a student at Cal State University of Long Beach. He is double-majoring as a Creative Writing and Literature major. His first book, Through The Looking Glass, was published in April, 2012. Looking Through, currently available, is a preview to the release of his second book, due out in Fall 2013.

Tony joined 411Mania in April 2010, and currently contributes in both music and wrestling. Tony is an avid drinker of Mountain Dew and Jack Daniels. He is a writer who hardly takes himself seriously, yet has an innate ability to create moments that are both human yet fearful in his writings.

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Greg DeMarco is a graduate of Virginia Tech (Bachelor’s in Business Management) and Arizona State (Master’s in Higher & Post-Secondary Education). He works in online higher education. Greg started in improv comedy in 2001, making his stand-up debut in 2004.

Greg first appeared as a ring announcer for Rising Phoenix Wrestling in Phoenix Arizona in 2006 and served many promotions in both on-stage and back-stage roles for over six years, most notably Ring of Honor in 2010. He began writing for 411Mania in October 2010, founded The Greg DeMarco Show in May 2011 and opened WrestlingSmash.com (and Wrestling Smash Radio) in January 2013.

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Until next week…