The Wrestling 6&1 10.12.13: Kaitlyn vs. Mickie James

So, a PPV happened…by and large, the wrestling side of things were solid, but the stories left much to be desired. I considered doing a nice little review of the show, but considering that’s what you’re going to find anywhere else, let’s just say that it was a solid C. This week, we’re going to talk about comedy in wrestling, Fandango turning face, the possibility of numerous John Cenas, and more!

Comedy in Wrestling: A Defense
By Michael Ornelas

A couple week’s ago on SmackDown, there was a Santino Marella match during which Jinder Mahal busted out an Indian flute (which I believe was actually just a recorder) and started playing a snake-charming tune in order to avert Santino from hitting the Cobra (since the sock-puppeted arm is a sentient being in kayfabe). Then The Great Khali did the same thing and they dueled over control of Santino’s finisher. I found reviews online calling it the worst thing ever, a disgrace to wrestling, and a reason to quit watching WWE. Even the description the uploader of this video gave for it said “…warning, if you cringe easily I don’t suggest you watch this embarrassment.”

I loved it. Whether you hate to admit it or not, but it is in fact a creative approach to Santino’s recurring plot point (the Cobra). And this isn’t the 1970s anymore – wrestling doesn’t have to be just serious. There has been comedy in wrestling for a looooong time now, and there’s no reason to get offended by it when it does happen. If you want serious competition, go watch UFC. At the end of the day, wrestling is supposed to be fun. It’s an entertainment product, and has been for years. Some of my favorite moments in wrestling have been comedy-related. And I’d be willing to bet that’s the case with some of the PG era’s detractors as well.

Set aside the fact that Austin, The Rock, and D-Generation X were hilarious in their promos, I want to focus strictly on wrestling in matches (although if we were to mix the two, we’d get Daniel Bryan on commentary ranting about bears [AUTHOR’S NOTE: This and several other videos I planned on using for this article have been taken down from YouTube]). Some of the funniest wrestlers in the ring are also some of the best. For instance, Daniel Bryan. Look no further than his PWG One Hundred match against Kenny Omega. That to me is one of the funniest matches I’ve ever seen, and it includes some of the most ridiculous spots I’ve ever seen, including an Arm Wrestling match and a Thumb War mid-match. Hell, in the past year, Bryan had a hilarious match on Saturday Morning Slam against Tyson Kidd (watch in unfortunately poor quality here. And Kenny Omega has gone toe-to-toe with a 9 year-old AND a blow-up doll. The comedy there came from taking the ridiculous opponents completely seriously.

I don’t think comedy demeans the “sport” of wrestling at all because it’s not even a sport to begin with. It’s just athletic. And seeing these phenomenal athletes use their charisma and creativity to entertain us comedically is a refreshing break from the mold. There are even a couple wrestlers whose careers have been built on the fact that they are funny. The aforementioned Santino Marella is one of them, as he has gotten over on his wrestling incompetence, suckering the crowd into cheering even the simplest of moves because they feel a slight sense of triumph for his being able to execute them. The most notable comedy wrestler, though, is Colt Cabana, whose run has been defined by (but not limited to) comedy. His squash matches, to me, are more fun to watch than any monster destroying their opponents with his. Cabana plays with his food, so to speak, and I’m not going to be the one to tell him to grow up and eat his vegetables, because I love the spectacle.

I’d be remiss to mention Pro Wrestling Guerrilla as a company. I bring this up because so many people point to them as the best promotion in the United States right now (and I’m inclined to agree), and their argument is usually that the wrestling is so great. While it is, I love Pro Wrestling Guerrilla because it’s the only place where Kevin Steen and Chuck Taylor are going to try to one-up one another doing moves on a fan’s San Francisco Giants hat in the opening round match of the 2013 Battle of Los Angeles. It’s the only place where Taylor & Gargano are going to stack on each other’s shoulders and get into a chicken fight with Paul London & Brian Kendrick. It’s the only place where El Generico would give a farewell speech that involves retreating to Mexico to tend to his orphanage. From Chuck Taylor tucking a chair into the back of his tights so the ref “can’t see it” to Chuck Taylor wrecking multiple people with an invisible grenade to Chuck Taylor…okay, I’ll just admit that Chuck Taylor has a direct line to my funny bone. But the point is that comedy and wrestling can go hand-in-hand and be applauded and loved, but the flock of “it’s real to me dammit” fans need to unbunch their panties about a throwaway snake-charming spot in the middle of the card on a Friday Night SmackDown first.

Because if Davey Richards can stop being so serious, so can you.

You Decide: What’s your favorite comedy bit from the wrestling world?

It Could Let In A Draft?
By Tony Acero

Oh, the WWE Draft. There was a time when it mattered, and although we haven’t seen one since 2011, which isn’t that long ago to be honest, but considering how long it’s been since the brand extension mattered, it’s no wonder the time it seems to be since we’ve last seen one seems like such a large gap. I can’t deny how exciting the Draft once was, but this was the year when The Rock was brought to RAW and The Undertaker was brought to Smackdown as the top players. That was 11 years ago. Guys…..that was 11 years ago!

So since we’re here, let’s see if the WWE Draft would work in today’s WWE? While watching Smackdown, there are rare flashes of the olden days when the brand extension was in effect, and Smackdown was widely known as the “wrestling” show. Sure, it was the B show, but it still had the wrestling aspect of the WWE down pact. Those moments are few and far between now, but there are still signs. I think if they had the brand extension now, it would work but only if it was continued from the past. Dividing the roster now may not benefit anyone, and that’s due to a few reasons – namely, character development and a depleted roster. I’m pretty sure that if we were to “let in a draft,” it would die in a matter of months. I don’t see them being able to pull it off other than trying to pop some nostalgia, and we all know how long that lasts. No, we’re going to have to drop The Draft into the box of good ideas that went wrong, like the Invasion, like Vince McMahon dying, and like Ken Jeong hosting RAW.

You Decide: Would The Draft work in today’s WWE?

Kaitlyn keeps truckin along in Versus. Last week, she beat the Glamazon, but this week she’s up again a certain someone else.

And now…..

Voting ends Wednesday night and you can vote once every hour!

I got a pretty solid response with enough segments to fill this bad boy up. I’ll give details for the next coming week, but let’s welcome Ron Snyder!

Fandan – gooooo Face!
By Ron Snyder

I feel Fandango should turn face. He’s an athletic wrestler with a high flying move set more suited for a face, than a ground based move set more suited for a heel, especially with his leg drop finisher. He has the charisma to get the crowd behind him. Fandango already has fans chanting/singing his entrance theme, and they all chant FAN-DAN-GO with every promo and he also a giant pyro sign. When in a city such as Chicago, New York, or Philly, the whole crowd is into it.

He also has the beautiful Summer Rae to play the “damsel in distress” to start an easy feud with a mid-card heel, such as Big E Langston (looking for a new love after losing AJ), or a member of 3MB (they could interrupt his dancing before a match to kickstart an easy feud). After he gets established, he can also form a tag team with someone like Kofi Kingston to take on the shield, or the aforementioned 3MB. These two teaming up would rejuvenate both of them, and would be a solid addition to the tag team ranks. He has already been jobbed out beyond recognition as a heel, whether it be in dance contests, or actual matches, so the best thing to keep Fandango in the mix is a face turn, and he can easily be a midcard champion with a long reign.

You Decide: Do you want to see Fandango turn face?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Facebook page, I posted this pic for all to comment on…

And the commenter with the most “likes”???

DJ Strong : “Just keep Bo-llin’, Bo-llin’ Bo-llin’, Bo-llin’!”

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Each week, Michael Ornelas takes a very serious (read: tongue-in-cheek) look at the latest wrestling news right here in The One spot. Welcome to “The 1-Yun” (sorry, we don’t wanna get sued), your weekly parody of the already strange world of professional sports entertainment wrestling. You’re Welcome!

In a more concerning decision than most are able to understand, WWE is quickly burning through their supply of John Cenas. Since 2005, WWE has been experimenting with cloning, and the original John Cena stepped up to the plate in exchange for being the top guy. This virtually guaranteed that his legimate injuries would lead to only storyline absences from TV, as WWE just pulls out the next Cena clone when the previous one malfunctions after a short respite for kayfabe’s sake.

The downside is that even at a cost of roughly $7,500,000 per clone, WWE has not been able to figure out how to perform surgery on these abominations of nature, and therefore when one suffers an injury, it is simply “disposed of.”

While many are wondering why the original John Cena can’t just return to action, it’s a much trickier situation than one might assume. As it turns out, the original Cena opted out of his contract years ago, and now just lives in seclusion, banging Nikki Bella at his multi-million dollar mansion each and every week. He receives a huge payout for his likeness rights while the two RoboCenas that are active at any given moment bust their asses in the ring, and for Make-a-Wish appearances. He isn’t even interested in the wrestling business anymore; his main focus is creating his rap music – an element that was wiped from the clones’ hard drives.

So while fans complain about the “staleness” of the John Cena character, don’t expect a heel turn ever – it’s simply not in his programming. And besides, when have evil robots ever been good for mankind?

-swoon-

Tony Acero is currently a student at Cal State University of Long Beach. He is double-majoring as a Creative Writing and Literature major. His first book, Through The Looking Glass, was published in April, 2012. School’s Out is a short story that found the author arrested due to the severity of its content. Both can be found on amazon.com.

Tony joined 411Mania in April 2010, and currently contributes in both music and wrestling. Tony is an avid drinker of Mountain Dew and Jack Daniels. He is a writer who hardly takes himself seriously, yet has an innate ability to create moments that are both human yet fearful in his writings.

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HALL OF FAME
Greg DeMarco is a graduate of Virginia Tech (Bachelor’s in Business Management) and Arizona State (Master’s in Higher & Post-Secondary Education). He works in online higher education. Greg started in improv comedy in 2001, making his stand-up debut in 2004.

Greg first appeared as a ring announcer for Rising Phoenix Wrestling in Phoenix Arizona in 2006 and served many promotions in both on-stage and back-stage roles for over six years, most notably Ring of Honor in 2010. He began writing for 411Mania in October 2010, founded The Greg DeMarco Show in May 2011 and opened WrestlingSmash.com (and Wrestling Smash Radio) in January 2013.

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Out with shilling one podcast, in with another. 411mania is the new home of Michael’s new podcast “From Under a Rock” with friends Ryan Evans, James McEnelly, and Steven Zurita!

The premise is that we take turns (the order of which is determined by a weekly mad dash for points known as “The Challenge”) selecting movies and TV shows that at least one person in the group has never seen before, taking them out from the proverbial rock under which they’re living. The chooser awards points throughout the episode and whoever has the most at the end picks next week’s movie.

In our eighth, and latest episode, for Halloween’s “Month of Horror,” James brings Troll 2 to the table. How did we all feel about it? Listen below! And do we all try to sing and/or rap with a speech jammer app messing us up at the end? YES! I mean…listen below!

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Until next week…