The Heel Report: 10.17.13: Small, Shrivelled and Slightly to the Left

Each Week there are ten places, with points out of ten awarded based on these positions. These points are then added to a rolling chart that will continue each week to show who is wrestling’s overall top heel, after 100 weeks naming the reigning wrestler a ‘Heel Centurion’.

This is a place where the heels of wrestling can be praised for all the hard work they do trying to get us all to hate them (or in other words the smarkiest chart of smarkdom ever to smark), so without further ado let’s get on with the report…

1st Place: Dixie Carter

While her delivery is still pretty terrible, there is something grating even beyond that which makes Dixie certainly the most annoying heel of the week, if not the most dastardly. There is still a problem here of consistency, such as in taking issue with Sting making a match for himself but not really giving a crap that Aries, Hardy and now Joe are putting together a match for the X Division title at Bound For Glory. Still I like the idea of Dixie never wanting Hogan’s name to be spoken in TNA again, although probably like with everything else done in TNA that is at least interesting, it will be gone back on within a month.
The heel authority figure is at the stage now where it is nearly a blight on professional wrestling, visible authority figures in general actually, if nothing else then simply for the inconsistency of match booking, since no wrestling company in my knowledge has ever had it where the on-screen character who supposedly books matches, actually books all the matches on any single card, then there is the favouritism, and the fact that if an authority figure is entertaining then more often than not they will actually take attention away from the actual wrestlers of the promotion.
So far Dixie’s interactions haven’t been all that bad for the company, they just have been bad in terms of her acting (although compared to the Bella twins on Raw Dixie looks like an Oscar winner). All I hope is that Hogan does not come back and become the heel GM again as no one needs that. What we do need more of, is her talking down to people like AJ Styles, in fact the more bigoted and offensive Dixie gets the better, still not so sure about taking a ride on the Dixie train though.

2nd Place: Bully Ray

Speaking of heels who attack AJ Styles, although less with words and bigotry, and more physically with a steel chain, the TNA champion Bully Ray is up next. Somehow the Bully convinced the remaining two members of Aces & 8s to stick with him despite him clearly not giving a crap about them.
To be honest if he did lose them it wouldn’t be too much of a big deal now as I think Bully has actually earned himself enough credibility to beat other main event talent believably at this point, and with the added appeal of having the better Brooke at his side there is a good chance that he could be part of the TNA main event scene for the foreseeable future, or at least until the company goes bust or gets bought by Spike TV and becomes a two hour hype show for Bellator where MMA fighters just stand around talking the whole time.

3rd Place: Alberto Del Rio

While he did have to kiss Vickie Guerrero on Smackdown (I happen to like evil women in power and even I don’t think I would go there) he also had a pretty good week in terms of wins, beating Mr Money in the Bank; Damien Sandow, and a count-out victory over the man who arguably should be the WWE champion; Daniel Bryan.
However you know there is something wrong when you have to even talk about how good it was that a world champion actually won against some relatively decent opponents. This is why I am 100% behind John Cena coming back and beating Del Rio for the title at Hell in a Cell, because Cena could actually make the title look good again, and it would keep him away from the whole Bryan-Orton situation, at least for now. What’s more if this is all one big ruse for some reason and Cena is only there to be ‘injured’ again before Sandow cashes in then that is great too, so to me it is win-win, just so long as Del Rio doesn’t walk out of the event with the belt.

4th Place: E.G.O.

On the opposite end of the spectrum to Del Rio, E.G.O. might have lost and been chased off this week from their own hall of fame ceremony, but they are still winners in my eyes. The whole ceremony was great, from the Dumb & Dumber suits for Throwback Thursdays, to the video package touting the accolades of Bobby Roode with clips of other TNA wrestlers like Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries saying how *dubbed* “Bobby Roode” belongs in the hall of fame, with such blatant dubbing that it was hilarious, even the ridiculous wooden chair that looked hideously uncomfortable, everything was pretty much perfect and entertaining.
What’s more it also set up nicely for Roode’s match at Bound For Glory with Angle, which should be great considering their last match, this time with both men’s alignments changed. I am honestly looking forward to that match already more than 90% of the rest of the matches on the card. I just hope that the two remaining members of E.G.O., Daniels and Kazarian, manage to win the tag team titles at the event since the tag scene in TNA at the moment is a joke and if they are going to have the belts just sit on the shoulders of two men, why not (with apologies to the Bromance) make those men the most entertaining team in TNA right now?

5th Place: Tamina

She may not speak much and sure the Divas division isn’t exactly on fire right now but Tamina Snuka did win clean in three separate matches against Kaitly, Aksana and Brie Bella. What’s more after her match with Brie she completely destroyed her for AJ’s pleasure.
While Tamina has benefitted from this situation I think it kind of sucks that AJ had a concussion, barely missed any time and is able to do stuff in and around the ring, and when Ziggler has a concussion he was gone for weeks without making a single appearance, completely killing his momentum. Sure a lot of that can be down to difference of severity and coincidence, but it still sucks is all.

6th Place: Stephanie McMahon

While it might have been HHH saying that the gloves were off on Raw, he didn’t actually seem to do all that much with that statement, whereas Stephanie McMahon continued to be her vindictive self, berating anyone she could and just generally making people with less power than her feel small. She is a McMahon after all.
While the name ‘The Authority’ doesn’t really gel right now I am glad that HHH and Stephanie are embracing their roles as the evil overlords, since now it feeds into the idea that if you are perceived as something you will eventually become it, I have always liked that idea and it often feeds into the dynamics of wrestling with gimmicks and characters.

7th Place: Randy Orton

Brace yourselves everyone and get ready for the return of rapey Randy, the man who preys on the partners of the wrestlers he feuds with, and even in one special case his own when he was preparing to go against the Undertaker. When Orton said he was going to bring back the Viper of old I had no idea he was referring to that viper.
But all immature jokes aside I was glad to see Orton try to make things more personal once again since going into Hell in a Cell things have seemed to wane a bit in terms of the animosity between the two men since exactly who Bryan should be aiming his anger towards seems to shift on a weekly basis, and really at least for the sake of the title match, right now that person needs to be Orton, now if only someone could teach the Bellas how to act.

8th Place: Curtis Axel

People tend to shit all over Axel on a weekly basis, but I actually quite like his whole ‘aren’t I awesome, oh wait actually I’m not’ gimmick as it is more believable right now and it shows that he has a high sense of self-worth, which he would being the son of Mr Perfect.
What’s more remember what I was saying about perceptions becoming reality. Believe me, him thinking he is the greatest IC champion of all time and believing he can actually beat C.M. Punk rather than just outlast him will eventually translate to the fans believing it too, it’s only a matter of time…how much time exactly remains to be seen.

9th Place: Aiden English

Spotlight! Seriously if you are reading this and you aren’t watching NXT then you really need to, because you are missing out. There is such a great cast of characters on the show and each week there is a decent chance of a great, long wrestling match, as well as an at least watchable women’s match with some very attractive ladies, and all in one manageable hour.
Of all the interesting characters on the show, probably the most captivating right now is Aiden English, who has this whole pretentious performer thing going on, and clearly the WWE see something in him too since he faced off against RVD this week in the main event of the show. Honestly if the WWE calls up him and Tyler Breeze, along with Fandango and Summer Rae, they could have a really interesting stable going of people who really shouldn’t be in the WWE with their ‘professions’ but are actually awesome.

10th Place: Vickie Guerrero

The final fierce female on the chart is the General Manager of Smackdown; Vickie Guerrero. The whole segment on the show with her, Del Rio and Damien Sandow was very confusing in terms of alignment.
Still she manipulated a guy into kissing her, then doing it like the Mexicans, asked him to kiss her ass and then pitted two guys against each other and cackled about it, so whatever the case she sounds pretty corrupt and evil to me.

(Week 014)

1. Randy Orton (73)

2. Bully Ray (64)

3. HHH (60)

4. Alberto Del Rio (56)

5. AJ Lee (50)

6. Paul Heyman (46)

7. Dean Ambrose (39)

8. Ryback (38)

9. Damien Sandow (34)

10. Stephanie McMahon(34)

Heel Centurions:

That’s all for this week, Bound For Glory is coming up and so is Hell in a Cell, so far I think I am actually sold more for HiaC than BFG and that is bad since TNA has had way longer to build for this thing than the WWE, but at the moment very little is actually at stake, especially now that the Aces & 8s are even more of a joke than ever before, and all the other title divisions barely have enough people to keep them going. At least at Hell in a Cell the title matches might actually mean something, even if it does end up being a case of S.O.S. Whatever the case then, for now, this is James Wright signing off.