Smart Marks 10.19.13: Freeze Tag

Welcome back to another edition of Smart Marks, your home for quick hits on some of the biggest (and smallest) stories going on in wrestling! I’m Dino, and I’m the guy you read and then incorrectly interpret!

Now, first things first- that’s not even the video I supplied in Top 5, though I *did* in fact supply a video. That didn’t stop numerous commenters, however, from talking about how “the writers” sure fucked up, because OBVIOUSLY the Steiners did a BULLDOG, and not a DDT. DUH! What kind of fucking idiot mixes up those two moves?! They’re totally different, duh!

Except, of course, for the fact that the Steiner DDT is an actual move, and if “you” (quotations to imply that I’m speaking to no one in particular) had taken the time to read the entire article instead of hopping down to the comments to show how stupid “you” are, “you” would have seen that. Shit, even hopping to google real quick and typing “Steiner DDT” would have shown “your” mistake. But I guess only the writers have to do research for everything they say.

To be fair – Weyer I believe did make a mistake and listed the Steiner DDT when he meant the Bulldog. Still, is that worth a ton of snarky comments about how he “clearly” doesn’t watch wrestling? That’s what gets me the most- not one person could just say “You know, I think you got the moves mistaken. I think the Steiners did a bulldog, not a DDT.” That’d be too tough. Instead, everyone has to come in with “I hate to be *that* guy, but…” or “Man, you’d think you guys would know the difference between…” and “411 sure hires guys that don’t know anything about wrestling!” Again, all that said, with a fricking VIDEO provided. All “you” had to do was click the video, and you’d see the move.

Then there was the “well that move wasn’t used very often, you can’t call it a finisher.” I saw this line of rationale when I said Daniel Bryan beat Cean clean with a finisher at SummerSlam. “Dino, he’s never done that move in WWE- can you call it a finisher?” Umm, did it finish a match? I’d call it a finishing move, then. We can argue semantics behind whether a move can be considered a “finisher” if it’s used sparingly all day long, but I’m of the opinion that if you have a devastating move that you break out every so often to finish a match, then yes, it’s a finisher. The Steiner DDT, as I said in Top 5, was used way less than the Bulldog. But if you don’t think that was a finisher of theirs, I think you’re crazy.

Related: Shout out to Stan W for the assistance with the commenter who decided he knew what I was saying better than I did.

Thanks. I feel a lot better now. Let’s hit the marks- gonna be tag team heavy this week, so be ready!

First off, shout out to Cody Rhodes and Goldust on their Tag Title win this past Monday. If you had told me in 1999 that Goldust would be winning championships in 2013, I would have had a GREAT laugh. I’ve always been a fan of Dustin Rhodes/Goldust, but I never imagined him still wrestling at this point. The story has been fun, the match was fun… just one problem.

I consider the Cody/Goldust a Super Team. Sure, they may not be on the level of the Rock and Sock Connection, 2 Man Power Trip, Undertaker and Big Show, or even Daniel Bryan and Kane, but they’re clearly not a regular team like, say, the Usos, Real Americans, Prime Time Players, or even Los Matadores.

We’ve heard over the last couple years now that Triple H wants to rebuild the tag team division. And it looked like we had a good start for a while, with a bunch of teams popping up. Only, the belts always seemed to land on a Super Team. For every Otunga/McGillicutty and Hart Dynasty reign, we’ve gotten Big Show and Kane, Cena and Miz, and Team Hell No. Even the Shield proved to not be a “regular” tag team by destroying every single one of those types of squads, but eventually fell to the Rhodes Boys.

My problem with this is, where is the incentive to actually root for the established teams? What’s the point of following the Prime Time Players if they’re always going to come up short and then be pushed aside for the next Flavor of the Month? Who cares about any of the “regular” teams if we know that they suck because they get chance after chance to win and fail, but some thrown together team can just show up, get a match, and beat the champs?

Two things: Yes, the Rhodes Brothers aren’t exactly “two strangers” that were “thrown together,” but at the same time, before this storyline, when did Cody and Dustin team up? Being brothers can only go so far, right? Secondly, yes, this is also WWE’s fault for not giving us teams that we can really get behind. However, I’d argue that the PTP could easily have a huge fan following if not for their constantly falling short. Ditto with the Usos. But they’re used as fodder for the next grouping of established singles stars that have nothing better to do.

And who beats the Rhodes Boys? The Real Americans? The Shield? Triple H and Randy Orton? This is what worries me- how can you ever hope to rebuild a division when you use all the building blocks as nothing more than target practice for the wrecking ball Super Teams?

I like the Rhodes Boys being champs, I’ll admit that. I just wish that WWE could figure out a way to have compelling tag champs that are not created in a Super Team mold.

What do you guys think? Am I totally off? Hate Super Teams? Love them? Hit me up in the Comments!

Meanwhile, in TNA…

TNA used to be the place to go for tag team wrestling. Hell, the clip that got me hooked on TNA was the top of the cage rana during the XXX vs. AMW tag match all those years ago. Great tag team wrestling was something TNA could hang its hat on- much like the X Division. Sadly, somewhere along the line, they decided to only pay lip service to that line of thinking, instead of actually providing it.

Today, we have Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez. We have the Bro Mans. We have Eric Young and Joseph Park. We have Gunner and James Storm. And we have Kaz and Daniels. I guess 1 out of 4 ain’t bad.

No, wait- it is bad. I expect more from TNA when it comes to the tag teams, and instead I’m getting the level of teams that WWE is throwing at us right now. The tag team division is basically on life support in TNA right now, and it can be evidenced by the way the its being treated heading into Bound For Glory (you know, the “biggest show of the year” for TNA). There’s no feud. There’s no #1 contender. There’s 3 joke teams, and then Ego, wrestling against each other to earn a title shot later in the night. That’s the big deal for the TNA tag division right now.

Hell, even the champs themselves- champs because James Storm had nothing better to do than go grab Gunner out of mothballs and then they won the belts. It’s all a big embarrassment. What makes me angry is that TNA has had multiple chances to put together some decent teams, and passed. Wouldn’t Knux and DOC have been a decent team? How about Wes Brisco and Knux? Or maybe the Main Event Mafia could field an actual team?

Nah. Instead, let’s have comedy teams. Who takes the Bro Mans seriously? Who thinks Eric Young and Joseph Park will do anything? Why has TNA become so intent on ruining one of the best things they had going once upon a time?

Now, I do have hope that Kaz and Daniels will win this gauntlet, and hopefully dethrone the team of Cowboy and Gunner, so that at the very least, we have champions who can deliver. Champions who can instigate a feud. Still, there will be no real teams to challenge them. I’m assuming Cowboy and Gunner will be broken up and probably feud, as TNA has been involved in a “how long can we depush Cowboy and still have him be popular with the fans?” contest ever since he lost the TNA Title to Bobby Roode.

Come on, TNA- get your shit together. We expect great tag team wrestling from you guys. The squads you’ve currently got formed would barely make it onto an episode of WWE Main Event.

Lighthearted mark to close it out this week. So I saw the story earlier this week that WWE is worried that Brie Bella’s face turn has failed. And I immediately asked aloud “Buh?? Brie Bella is a babyface now??”

In WWE, we’ve long seen the coupling where one is a heel and one is a face. AJ and Daniel Bryan did it nearly two years ago! Macho Man and Elizabeth could be another example. At no point was one simply assumed to be on the same side as their better half.

With Brie Bella, we saw her cry as Daniel Bryan got attacked, and we saw her get attacked by AJ and Tamina. However, we haven’t seen her do anything GOOD yet. Nothing NICE yet. Of course she was sad to see her boyfriend get beat up- that’s what a girlfriend does, heel or face. And the beatdown by AJ and Tamina reminded me of when the nWo beat up Brutus Beefcake or Big Bossman- both guys were already somewhat heelish, and had done nothing to become faces, thus the beatdowns fell flat.

How hard would it be to have Brie say something nice? Maybe gripe at Nikki once in a while? Do something BESIDES hug her boyfriend?

I know, I’m getting worked up about a newsbit regarding Brie Bella that may not even be true. Regardless, if WWE thinks Brie Bella is a face now, there’s probably many fans, myself included, who feel like they’re fucking crazy, and haven’t done anything of substance to show us this new reality.

That should do it this week. As always, thanks for reading. Share your thoughts on WWE’s tag division, TNA’s tag division, or Brie’s superawesome face run down in the comments!

Till then, enjoy your WWE, enjoy your TNA, enjoy your Lucha, enjoy your Puro, and enjoy your Indies.