The Heel Report: 11.07.13: Welcome Back

Each Week there are ten places, with points out of ten awarded based on these positions. These points are then added to a rolling chart that will continue each week to show who is wrestling’s overall top heel, after 100 weeks naming the reigning wrestler a ‘Heel Centurion’.

This is a place where the heels of wrestling can be praised for all the hard work they do trying to get us all to hate them (or in other words the smarkiest chart of smarkdom ever to smark), so without further ado let’s get on with the report…

1st Place: Randy Orton

The Viper seems to be getting back to his old self, at least to a short degree since becoming the new WWE champion once again. The promo he delivered this week against the crowd really worked to make sure that Big E. got their full support when coming out against him. I like the arrogance that Orton showed as ‘the new face of the WWE’ and if we are going to get him versus Cena for Wrestlemania then at least one of them will hopefully be entertaining going forward.
Of course that isn’t exactly the main event that many of us had really wanted for Wrestlemania, but it does seem to be on the cards what with Cena coming back early and the whole ‘face of the WWE’ storyline still going strong despite the whole point of that really being about Bryan and his appearance/stature as WWE champion. But such is often the way in the WWE and wrestling in general, storylines morph all the time, sometimes running into new and interesting avenues, and sometimes descending into completely ludicrous rubbish. Either way we got to see Daniel Bryan reach heights we never thought that he ever could, beating the so-called faces of the WWE clean on PPV, in the main event no less and for the WWE title.
The real shame here is that once again it appears that HHH has inserted himself too far into an angle that appeared to make things interesting again for fans over the age of ten and ended up bringing it right back to the same boring state of ‘mundanity’ that we are used to. At least perhaps Orton will now be somewhat less boring than he was as a face, and hey Corporate Kane that was pretty cool right? Ugh, why do I feel like I am trying to console someone who thought they had won the lottery and then watched as the ticket fell down into a sewer drain?

2nd Place: The Shield

This might be one of the last times you see this group together on the chart. The seed of dissension from one of the members of the group are well and truly sown and what a surprise it comes from the biggest, although also least experienced member of the group; Roman Reigns.
Now don’t get me wrong, all three men have done some great things in the year that they have been on the main roster, and you could argue that Reigns has the ‘best face look’, but that along with the rocket-like push that Big E. has been given and now with Big Show in the title picture for barely any reason over Bryan it just seems like the WWE have done a complete 180* over their apparent abandonment of the favouring of ‘big men’, coincidently just as John Cena comes back to being on television, there probably is no real connection there, but who knows.
Reigns was ready to take on three men by himself on Smackdown, showing a subtle (for the WWE) renouncing of his former reliance on numbers that was the Shield’s main strategy up until now. Then on Raw he was clearly hanging back while Orton, Rollins and Ambrose wailed on Big Show with chair shots in the ring, before pulling off some strength feats with the steel steps and then bombing Show through the announce table. Although I would imagine that the turn won’t come until at least Survivor Series, perhaps in the traditional match of said PPV.

3rd Place: Damien Sandow

Sandow is the latest in a long line of men to swear that he will be the one to end the Cena era, and while I don’t see that happening it is nice to see Sandow being given a purpose after for the most part floundering in terms of storylines for his character.
In some ways Sandow reminds me of Daniel Bryan, in that he makes the most of any mic or air time given to him and I bet that as long as he is allowed to work his gimmick he will eventually succeed in the WWE. Then again I thought that about Ziggler and he just can’t seem to catch a break, and also virtually not getting any mic time to show his skills doesn’t help either.
Still though after a very brief face turn teased it seems like Sandow might end up being next in line for a shot at Cena’s title. While that will probably not end in victory, the mere opportunity might be enough to secure him the belt at another time, and like I said before; Sandow will make the most of his opportunity, just look how he handled himself last Monday, even if it was in defeat.

4th Place: Aiden English

Watching guys like this perform, as well as the audience reaction to them, makes me wish that it was NXT that was three hours long and not Raw, or at least two. There is so much talent in NXT right now and it is, at least for the most part, being booked very well.
Aiden English has a similar vibe to Fandango and I would love to see the two paired together at some point, although only if they are playing these same characters at the time. The male thespian poser is a great role to play and if Tyler Breeze was added into the mix as well then I think we would have a trio on our hands not seen since the triumphant debut of 3MB.
There might have been higher profile heel appearances this week but English’s gimmick and presence holds so much appeal that he managed to outshine all of them to reach the higher end of the chart. The encore, the bow, the roses and finally catching the last one and blowing the audience a kiss all looked so great and shows that this guy has embraced his character to the fullest. I just wonder how the hell they are going to work it into the main roster and not have him end up in the same place that Fandango is currently occupying.

5th Place: HHH

This guy is ridiculous. Seemingly brilliant behind the scenes, but when it comes to his on-air persona he can’t help but try to steal the spotlight and while he appears to think he is helping the guys in the ring he is actually ruining storylines that could otherwise have worked fine without his meddling.
Honestly there is no reason why HHH has to be in twenty minute talking segments every week, especially now that he does not seem to have a match forthcoming. I am in some respects surprised that he even let Daniel Bryan hold the gold for as long as he did, hell I am pretty much shocked that he hasn’t taken the belt for himself and proclaimed that the Game is now the true face of the WWE. We all know that’s what he really wants to do.
Up until now I have for the most part liked the new acting boss of the company, seemingly fair-handed on one end and petty and manipulative on the other. But now he has become a caricature of himself already, abandoning fake niceties and veiled threats for the usual shtick of getting in people’s faces and acting really angry about whatever is going on, threatening to fire everybody on the spot and then having to go right back on his word, making the whole thing a joke.

6th Place: Dixie Carter

The tables have turned this week and it is Dixie who is the one coming after the Game. While this Dixie character is better than the heel Hogan general manager I can’t help but feel like it is too little, too late.
At this point I kind of just want TNA to be bought by one of the many rumoured competing forces vying to buy the company as we might get to see TNA actually make it through this dark time of cut backs and abandonment to become a better company for it. For now though we will just have to contend with a Dixie who seems to insist on coming out first thing every Impact despite still lacking the charisma and delivery required to hold a crowd through such segments at the start of the show.

7th Place: Bully Ray

Wielding a steel chain and a whole bunch of beef, the former TNA champion had another run in with Mr. Anderson this week, actually getting the better of things and one of the few TNA wrestlers who actually seems to have any sort of real feud developing right now.
It is a shame that Bully is no longer in the title hunt, but at least he got a good shake while he was on top, and at this point while he will still probably mostly be known for his tag work with Devon, it is hard to argue that he has not become a legitimate singles success in his own right.

8th Place: Kane

Where were you when you saw the birth of Corporate Kane? While last week seemed a strange move for the returning monster there was some method to the apparent madness as already just with a trip to ringside the unmasked monster has got people talking.
The man behind the mask has always displayed brains and poise in his speaking and judging by the general output of WWE Films, is one of the best actors that the WWE has to offer, although isn’t saying all that much at this point. I am looking forward to how this new character develops and if and how it will tie into the supposed brain-washing that took place at the hands of the Wyatts.

9th Place: Ryback

Some seem confused by Ryback’s current booking, but to me it simply signifies that he is being left to run rampant in the mid-card after failing once again to really capture any kind of main event spotlight.
Ryback as a mid-card monster really works, but he just doesn’t have enough going for him to become a main-stay main eventer, at least not yet.

10th Place: Stephanie McMahon

Last place goes to the former Billion Dollar Princess, now the Million Dollar Corporate Skank. Her vindictive snark of saying ‘welcome back’ to Big Show after he had been triple power-bombed through the announce table was enough to get her into the last spot, but will it stop her getting a KO punch in the near future? Probably not.

(Week 017)

1. Randy Orton (93)

2. HHH (82)

3. Bully Ray (81)

4. Alberto Del Rio (56)

5. AJ Lee (56)

6. Damien Sandow (51)

7. Dean Ambrose (46)

8. Paul Heyman (46)

9. Dixie Carter (41)

10. Ryback (40)

Heel Centurions: