WRestling’s 3R’s PPV Edition 11.08.06: WWE Cyber Sunday 2006

puRgatoRy:

Orton and Edge vs. DX w/Bishoff – First of all I need to say one thing. I was so happy to see that this was not placed as a main event type match. It was the 4th match on the show, and the women’s, tag and Champions match all went on after it. Usually DX seems to find it’s way towards the main event, but this time they weren’t and I liked that. So this was our match of the night kids. In all honesty that isn’t saying much but it was. Pretty good stuff, but the finish and ref took away from it. But this was the best work of the night, even if more average than anything.

These four guys should be having way better matches than they are, and HBK and HHH should be smart enough to know they are only as over as their opponents have credibility. Orton and Edge just don’t have that much right now, due to the booking I feel. HHH continues to upset me, after I defended him for so long, as he totally kicks out of the RKO helping to make the move less and less effective. Between he and Taker, the move is almost dead. Some will now argue that Orton and Edge “went over strong.” No, they went over due to a heel ref and a chair shot. In actuality they needed to go over before this I feel because it didn’t have the heat that it should have. The crowd didn’t seem pissed that they won, they were just like, “Ok, so this will continue” and I think that is because of hw shit has been booked thus far. Hopefully it gets better, I REALLY hope it does but I don’t have a ton of faith. One minor nit pick is that Bishoff was in the way a lot in the match. Lawler even made a joke saying, “You know, they say when a referee does his job well you don’t even notice him.” That was a direct jab from a wrestler, since he realized he was in the way a lot.

Flair and Piper, Tag Champions – The funny thing is that you knew that they didn’t expect Piper, hell look at Piper’s reaction when he was picked, he was like “huh…me?” But the fact is that to the “WWE” fan, Piper is way more famous that Rhodes. So I don’t think that was rigged. And then, damn brother, first of all look at what shape you are in, leave the shirt on! Dusty and Sarge at least cover up but damn Piper looks bad these days. Years of drug use and all I suppose. Then there was the fact that he looked like an egg, or some form of albino. Add into it he has had hip replacements and his knees are shitty (and WHY is he not wearing some FN kneepads?) and it was a bit brutal to watch him. I would rant about burying the Squad but that was already done before the match.

What this did do is a few things. #1 it got the title off of a dead team. #2 it popped the crowd on a show where nothing memorable happened. #3 it will help with the promoting of the Roddy Piper DVD. #4 is that, and this is a personal observation, this another notch for Flair as far as the interactive PPV’s go. The first two he had great matches, and this year he won the tag titles. Not a bad thing really, and it mostly falls flat for me since I am a huge Dusty mark and ended up disappointed when he didn’t make it in the match.

The wRong:

K Fed – This is something I seem to disagree with a lot of people on, but I will stick to my guns. When he first appeared it was fine. The second deal worked as well, I was ok with it in all actuality. But tonight, I was as against this as I have been against anything. Not only was he involved in the main event, and not only was he a big part of the finish to the match, but the PPV ended and what did we see? K FN FED. He was the closing image of this PPV. The closing image was a celebrity. On a PPV where they had the THREE CHAMPIONS WRESTLE to see who was the champion of champions and we got to close the show with K Fed. Insanity, stupidity, choose a word but that is what it was to me.

The Big Show – I am sure Big Show is trying really hard. I am sure he is doing his best to make his parts of matches as good as they can be and he is representing ECW well as the dominating champion. That all being said he is in horrible condition. Did you see him walking to the ring? He looked in pain and labored in just walking. He is relegated to head butts and chops for most of his offense. But the worst part was that out of a 21-minute match, he laid on the floor for 8-9 of those minutes! They had no choice but to remove him from a large portion of the match due to his health reasons. That is a bad move on the part of management, and it did hurt the quality of the match.

The Ridiculous:

Carlito vs. Hardy – This ladies and gentlemen, may be in fact the worst PPV match of the year. Some people think it was a good match, or the match of the night and that was fine. I DISAGREE. This was ASS, so sad, many missed spots, boring, no communication the definition of bad. Some will email me and say, “But Larry, they didn’t know they were wrestling each other.” Bullshit. The booking was skewed for the people to vote for Carlito. These guys should have talked before the match to work some shit out just incase. But here is the other thing I want to stress, and I will use some bold and profanity to emphasize my point here: These men are professional fucking wrestlers. They should be able to arrive at the arena, walk to the ring, have a random opponent announced and be able to on the spot, put on a passable match with that person. WHY? That is why you train your ass off and fucking work so hard! But the fact is that they didn’t. Carlito is sucking more and more lately, and I am ready for all of the Carlito defenders to come and bash me. They had no clue what to do, which you could tell when Carlito resorted to 13 bear hugs. You could tell that Hardy got pissed because he was really laying into Carlito, dropped him on his face and then SQUASHED him with the senton on purpose. Hardy then went to the floor after the match and just looked pissed and was swearing to himself. This was beyond horrible kids, stay away!

Lita vs. Mickie – While not as bad as Carlito vs. Hardy, this match was also horrible. It got the (¼*) just for the SICK DDT spot at the end. First of all it was a Lumberjack match, so we had like 31 totally inept women around the ring from all the brands. Lita can’t have a good match with anyone unless she is named Trish, I am sure she tried and Mickie tried but the match was just really bad. It just never clicked, and got worse. Mickie went for a Tornado DDT type deal off the ropes and Lita didn’t lift her enough, and then she slipped on the ropes and they just fell into a pile as JR said, “What the hell was that?” When JR is on you, it is BAD. Not good, atrocious and I don’t need to see it again, but we will. Just bad.

I paid $40 for THIS shit? – The overall quality of the PPV. It was a joke. Look at the matches, nothing breaks the (***) mark. Out of seven matches, 5 of them were either (ASS) of right around (*). Only two of them cracked **. I am usually not a HUGE star guy, but come the hell on! This was horrible, this was an “interactive” edition of Raw that we paid $40. Although I am doubting a lot of people paid for it because I have received about the lowest amount of feedback ever for a PPV. The matches were just bad, so bad and yeah, this is a horrible show and I am pissed about it. I love wrestling, I love writing about wrestling but I really hate writing about SHITTY wrestling and that is what this show was. It also ended at 10:36pm, like most WWE PPV’s. Dear God, I mean it was so bad, they were blatantly stalling at points as well. Could you guys maybe go to 10:50pm like TNA, I mean if you are going to rape us for $40 maybe we could get the whole dick instead of just the tip, you know? Shit kids, lots and lots of shit.

Closing Thoughts:

You know when I spend $40 on a PPV, I expect good matches, some clean finishes and a sense of satisfaction as far as money spent goes. Some PPV’s don’t live up to that and some just flat out suck ass, and this was one of them. It was predictable, the matches were basically all bad, minus two of them and we had to deal with fucking K FED in the main event match that was “supposed” to be huge. It all fell short and I could NEVER tell someone to but this monstrosity of a show. In the end I will go with a 2 out of 10 for the show, making this indeed the worst PPV of the year thus far. Also I really wonder about this buy rate, because this is it for feedback below. I usually get an ass-load of feedback for PPV’s but this one, people seemed to take a pass.

Reader Feedback on WWE No Mercy 2006:

From RC –

Do we really have to write in which match we thought was the worst on the show? I mean, innit obvious? The women’s match that had the live crowd sleeping and moves beyond botched all over the place (although Lita’s and Candice’s save of the messed up DDT attempt at the ropes was nice, it being impromptu and all).

Best match? None actually.

Best moment? Booker and Cena’s segment before their match (Ron Simmons ending it all was just great although hopefully he won’t do this every week). Also K-Fed being back was great hehe. His mic work is better than almost all midcarders on RAW and the heel heat he generates naturally is off the charts. Too bad he acts like a total chump whenever someone else is talking (he acts as if he isn’t there anymore looking on like a moron).

From DWAYNE –

I don’t know about you guys but I found Cyber Sunday to be too predictable. I already knew in advance who was wrestling based on basically what DVDs or what books are coming out. How many people didn’t see King Booker retaining his World title? I mean, come on………the highlight of the show for me was watching Piper and Flair win the World Tag-Team titles. That was pretty cool even though the titles don’t mean shit right now. The worst match was the tag match. Hardy v. Carlito was ok. It appeared to me as if both men were a little lethargic in the beginning, but I enjoyed the match overall.

DX should have put Edge & Orton over clean, but that would be like helping the younger guys. At least the match was a good little tag match. HHH, Edge, HBK and Orton usually brings the good on PPV, and this was no exception. It’s the way that DX uses their power to not job cleanly that bothers me.

I cannot begin to describe how I’m disgusted with Lita getting the win over potentially the best female wrestler in history, Mickie James. Remember when Mickie first came in and worked with Trish as the psycho? She was great on the mic and great in the ring. Now she’s stuck jobbing to Lita, who isn’t motivated at all. I can’t stand the fact that just because she thinks she’s married to a high profile wrestler that she thinks she can just slack off in the ring whenever she feels like it. She can see the finish line of her contract, so why put the belt on her? Put it on Mickie and let her work a long program with Victoria. And Lita needs a new finish? That DDT finish she has right now is tired and uninspired.

Mere words cannot convey how blah this PPV was. Most of the matches looked good on paper, but it’s all about bringing it in the ring. Jeff Hardy and Carlito had a heck of an opportunity to go out there and have a potential MOTYC, but they didn’t do that, because Carlito is still evolving as a wrestler. Overall, THIS PPV WAS CRAP!

From 411 forum member “Jeff Hardy’s Mutant Clone” –

Call me crazy, but I liked Umaga v. Kane the best.

I am convinced that Umaga would dominate Joe in no more than 4 minutes.

Put him and Joe in a 15 on 1, Joe and 14 trained cyborg ninjas v. Umaga in an Ultimate X match and Umaga would flash a sly grin to the camera, deliver a Samoan Spike to the side of the ring and merely bend down and pick up the title from the pile of rubble.

Overall I give this PPV a 6.5 out of 10. Every match was great in it’s own way, but it still wasn’t that great.

DX is in full stride at this point.

Roddy Piper holding a title is glorious despite the Tag Team titles current state.

Jeff Hardy & Carlito was a close second to Umaga/Jacobs. Nice Swanton to end it.

Cena’s stale as heck but what can you do.

The only thing I would change is next year call it “Obviously Rigged Voting PPV”.

That’s it.

Thanks for joining me for this special edition of the 3R’s, and don’t forget to check out the regular edition complete with all of the other shows from the week!

For more interesting information on wrestling, check out Bryan Alvarez and Figure Four Weekly Online, Mike Campbell over at SPLASH MOUNTAIN and Dr. Keith Lipinski over at Puroresu Power!