WRestling’s 3R’s 1.05.07: Retro WWE New Years Revolution, The Importance of Words, RVD Battles Lashley, James Mitchell Owns Your Soul and More!

iMpact 12.28.06:

The Right:

The importance of words – There are times when we cringe at promos, or times that they are fine but we just don’t care about them at all. But then there are times that they really add to the shows and angles and we love them. At the Turning Point show there were some damn good promos on the show, so we shall discuss those here.

–Jim Mitchell owns your soul: Jim Mitchell, to me, is just amazing in his character. He is demonic, serious and never wavers from his path. Last week he accused Abyss of not having his head in the game and being influenced by Sting. He even went as far as to not let Abyss hold the NWA title. Little things kids. He then added to the current story by saying Cage and Tomko know the result of Abyss’ evil deed, he knew the cause and would let it out if Abyss didn’t get back into the game. Great stuff.

–Joe continues to help his stock rise: Joe had two good segments this week. First of all he explained that no matter how much damage Angle did to his ankle he would never give him the rematch because it was over and he was looking for the NWA Title. Later on after it was announced he won Mr. TNA, Angle drug out his escort and threatened to break her ankle if Joe didn’t accept the challenge. Joe showed great emotion here as he begged for Angle not to do it and eventually gave in to save the chick. Angle them admitted that it wasn’t personal, but then agreed it was and “snapped” her ankle. Good stuff here as Joe continues to show all his attributes to the audience.

–Christian rules: Christian continues to roll in the heel persona. He promos are good, intense and most importantly, he comes off as feeling totally justified in his actions, the trademark of a good heel. He has been money every time he gets on the mic and last week was no different.

puRgatory:

Storm/Petey, Daniels/Sabin, Lynn – This was a fine little opening match. The four guys all work well period and work well together, so all was good. They had a solid little sprint, but in the end the match was a little over 3-minutes and with all of the stuff happening afterwards it was just so much to digest. In a lot of ways I liked the tag team deal to further the 2-angles at once, but as they were doing that I feel it lost the angles in its execution. Storm cheats to win as Lynn has Sabin and Daniels distracted and then after the match is over they start to brawl as the commentators frantically try to explain what is all happening. The average viewer will have forgotten this by the time the commercial is over. Not horrible, an A for effort, but a D for execution so we’ll put it here for now.

Gringo Clause is an alki? – Ray and Devon came out on Impact and declared that all of the other teams were dead or too busy playing with themselves, and since that was the case and they were still standing, they were gunning for LAX. Runt them came down to the ring and was apparently drunk. This was confirmed when he pulled out a bottle and started to drink and then spit the drink in Ray’s face. Ray got pissed and wanted to kill Runt. Devon was reluctant but Ray got a table and it seemed to be on. LAX then hit the ring and we had a brawl through a commercial. Runt joined with 3D and they beat down LAX, including a powerbomb with Runt through a table with Homicide on it and some nasty chair shots to Hernandez. In the end I get what they are doing, since it is something they have done in the past. Ray and Devon have no problem beating down Runt, but when someone else tries to do it they get insulted, since it is all about family. Also the good thing is that this is the ignition of the Team 3D vs. LAX feud. LAX is hot right now and if this will be the time that Team 3D gets to feud and win the titles, the title change should blow the roof off of the place. In that aspect they are doing well but how they got there was, well, odd.

The wRong:

Nothing of Note

The Ridiculous:

TNA: We are Wrestling, on PPV; but if you are looking for Wrestling on our TV show you’re fucked! – TNA, We Are Wrestling. That is the new company motto and if they were talking about their PPV’s they would be dead on. But when you look at the last 6-weeks or so of TV shows, that motto is the farthest from the truth. Don’t believe me? Let’s break down the show.

Match #1. 3:30 The only match in the first 30-minutes of programming.
Match #2. 1:50
Match #3. 3:50 Sting vs. Cage vs. Abyss ©

That is just over 9-minutes of wrestling in a 40+ Minute show (after commercials.) Which means that 30-minutes of the show were dedicated to interviews (s0me of them very good) and angles. That is all fine if they were all good and building to something, some are, but you know, some wrestling on the wrestling show would be a good thing from time to time. They have done a good job of staying away from the 4 and 5-match shows, and in all reality the 3-match format should work rather well of you do it right. Two short matches and one longer, important match to drive angles and such. But they aren’t doing that, they are just throwing matches out there, some for free that they shouldn’t be, and are losing the focus of wrestling, which is on the marquee the last time I checked. DO us a favor TNA, don’t bill yourself as “We Are Wrestling” if you don’t intend to deliver weekly.

THE RUSSO-FN-RIFFIC~~~!:

Sting vs. Cage vs. Abyss and a POLE~! – All right, here is the problem I have with this. The NWA Title match at the last PPV included these three men. Abyss retains and now they play the game over Abyss’ soul and past, which is great stuff, and they are building towards another match with these three men. So what do they do in this case? Put them in a match, together, on FREE TV! RUSSONOMICS at work! Now here is the question, why would people pay to see a rematch of a three way, when they just got the rematch on FREE TV? They wouldn’t. Now to all of you that are going to email and bitch that I am judging Russo too harshly, FUCK OFF! TNA did a great buy rate for the first Joe vs. Angle match, and then it dropped, almost in half if projections hold. You need to do what you can to make people care, get intrigued and want to PAY to see your next PPV and you give away one of the main event 2-weeks before it! It is idiotic and piss poor booking, or classic Russo. If you can’t see that, then I can’t help you. And then there is the match, something on a pole, RUSSO~! They have this match, which is one of those matches where you win by hitting someone. Yeah, that’s it, get the gimmick from the pole and hit someone with it. Match over. While in essence it “protects” the guys from taking a pin, it is just stupid. Add into this the fact that they only got 4-minutes and it was rather pedestrian in execution and it falls perfectly into the RUSSO-FN-RIFFIC category. Yeah, this was a great way to sell PPV’s guys.

SmackDown! (sorda)
12.29.06

Hello, friends, and welcome to the first edition of The 3 R’s of 2007! I hope all enjoyed a tremendous New Year’s Eve and that all have recovered from your hangovers! Just read JT’s massive two-part edition of the 411 year-end awards and all I have to say is if Steve Cook is 411’s resident alcoholic, I shudder to consider what that makes me…! I recall fondly back when Cook hadn’t had anything stronger than Ovaltine pass through his liver. God bless him, he was TWTF’s honorary Mormon. Then The Penguin visited him and next thing we knew, Cook’s drinking beer with a straw out of ice trays like a true frat boy. Ah, the sweet passage of time…

Before we rev up for this week’s rant, I quickly want to address an e-mail I received regarding my cynical prognostication concerning the WWE future of Vladimir Kozlov from a reader named Johnny Sorrow:

“So you’re killing the Kozlov thing after a two-minute interview in the crowd. You super-smarks are so predictable.”

Hear that, peeps? I’m not just a smark, I’m a SUPERsmark! I smell a new CAW brewing for “SD! vs. Raw 2007″…! Seriously, though, I’m pleased Mr. Sorrow brought this up. This is a perfect lead-in to what needs to be discussed this week. Let’s press ahead.

As SmackDown! was a year-end recap show on Friday, I have nothing new to R-ify this week, thus Larrold has given me carte blanche to blabber on about whatever gives me a tingle, and how fortuitous an opportunity, as I managed to piss some folks off last week, a symptom of a larger issue warranting discussion.

It seems to me that in today’s professional wrestling climate, fans are becoming increasingly polarized, in that, there are those who remain adamantly loyal to Vince McMahon and vociferously defend the programming WWE offers on each of the three brands under its umbrella and others who are of a more critical nature and demand a little more, who search for professional wrestling alternatives such as TNA and ROH, decrying the WWE product as they do so.

My on-line slap fight with my buddy Mike Lafave, Vince’s #1 cheerleader and MVP mark, has been well documented here. That’s been fun, because Lafave is a good sport when I take the piss as I make him a scapegoat for my own rapidly declining interest in anything WWE aside from SmackDown! (I’ve completely abandoned WWECW and will watch Raw only if I’ve nothing better to do or my Netflix delivery is stalling). However, I’m finding, as I’ll share momentarily, that there are others who find themselves on Lafave’s side of the fence…he’s not just the lone voice of loopiness…hahaha. Here’s an e-mail I received from an old buddy of mine, eRIK:

“we all got opinions and all but gees man, u just make it like if its not going ur way the entire show is not perfect

yeah I know its ur opinion and all but now I rather not read it.”

Okay, before I begin to respond, I truly and honestly want to know what YOU, the person who kindly clicked on this column and reads Larry’s and my opinions/analyses, whether every week, only periodically or if you’re popping your 3 R’s cherry with this installment. Are you pleased with WWE’s product overall? Do you share eRIK’s loyalty and find yourself entertained week in and week out? Do you view TNA as a viable alternative to the WWE umbrella? I honestly want to know what our readership feels about this subject.

And so to respond. First of all, yes, I can’t deny that I’ve been rather negative over the last several months. So has Larry, which makes me feel justified in feeling down on the current product overall. The thing that struck me most about The Boss when we first met on-line years ago was his unquenchable passion for the business and, especially, the boys who bust their asses to entertain us. Believe me, Larry’s passion is second-to-none and if he’s frustrated, then something’s up.

Certainly, of course, not to call into question the passion of those sharing the mindset of eRIK and Lafave. We’re all passionate about the business, it’s the reason we’re all here in the first place. It simply appears that different camps approach the product with different mindsets. I actually kind of envy those who can sit in front of a Boogeyman segment and be entertained; I, however, cannot be entertained when matters of basic principle are in question. Quite frankly, I do think there is a place for the Boogeyman character, but not the manner in which it’s been used heretofore, i.e., burying much more promising talent than the character itself in three minute squashes.

What I find truly insulting is when my own loyalty to the WWE product is called into question, or I am referred to as a “fair-weather” fan, especially when these comments come from critics who weren’t even sperm when I started watching the WWF in 1983 (It strikes me that many of these “WWE loyalists” are younger then people Larry’s and my age, thus they don’t have the scope he and I have…just a thought). I sat through Hulk Hogan’s shallow, one-dimensional act for YEARS to see the Jake Roberts, the Greg Valentines and the Curt Hennigs of the day who really made the Fed for me back in the day. But as I now divorce myself from the bulk of WWE-TV, I look at everyone else who has left the company VOLUNTARILY in the last couple years, Christian, Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus, THE DUDLEY BOYS, Kurt Angle, and I think that I’m in pretty good company. Really, is there anyone who thinks that if all was well at Titan Towers that this bulk of top-level talent would be bailing out?

The WWF/E product, indeed, as is the case with virtually anything in life, has always been about taking the good with the bad, and I think here is the crux of the argument, that being, what exactly is good, what is bad and, most importantly, WHY. It’s my contention that this new wave of “WWE loyalists” see things differently, i.e., viewing the product in terms not what is Right or wRong, but of what is more or less entertaining and, I daresay, don’t make it to the “why” part, or at least, are content to allow “because I like it” suffice, leaving the where fore’s and the why’s out of the picture.

That’s where Larry and I and other such analysts come into play. Yes, I have opinions. The point is, The R’s is an opinion piece. By virtue of the very name, the philosophy is that we analyze what is Right, wRong and Ridiculous about the week in wrestling (with the honorary secondary R’s thrown in for utility). If opinions ruffle your feathers, this is not the column for you (and, eRIK, God love ya, brother, but as long as I’ve known you, you seem to view opposing viewpoints as an affront to your own, and to a mind-blowing extent where Taker’s concerned). I’m not going to blow sunshine up anyone’s ass, there are some columnists here on 411 who absolutely piss me off, but I’ve identified them to myself, and simply don’t read them. That’s not to suggest they aren’t solid writers, quite to the contrary, everyone here on 411 is exceptional, we just look at things differently and, as many of our readers have myriad varying viewpoints, we offer a little something for everyone. I will give some love to The Hidden Highlights, because JT & JP have managed to create a column that focuses on the positive aspects of the business without sacrificing an intelligent point of view, so props to the lads for that!

Please allow me to be frank, I don’t approach each program filing my nails into claws and salivating at all the ways I can tear apart the show, absolutely to the contrary. The WWF/E has been one of the few absolute constants in my life, along with my family, my libido and my devotion to booze (wink). In an ideal world, in fact, this column wouldn’t even exist, because there would be no need to bring a wRong or a Ridiculous into the equation at all! Seeing what’s going on in today’s product actually hurts me and I think perhaps I am reacting to that by lashing out. Good thing I’ll never have kids…

However, as both a 23-year fan and an analyst, I simply have to question what I see, point being, where eRIK’s e-mail is concerned, the program involving Kennedy and The Undertaker. Another exceptional column here on 411, High Road-Low Road, had a LOT to say about this subject. Incidentally, unless I am mistaken, the voting on whether to take the high or low road on the subject was swung staunchly in the opinion that Kennedy got screwed like a bitch in heat at the dog park, so I know I’m not the only one questioning the outcome.

Looking at the past six years, one would have to be blind or indifferent not to see what’s happening in WWE. I forget where exactly I saw the reader comment, but here on 411 shortly after King Bookah won the World Title, an astute reader suggested that, with such victory, all of the longtime IWC darlings with a shot of ever holding a world title had managed to achieve that pinnacle (Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, and, to go really old school before Litagate, Edge). And that’s true!

Of course, the popular argument I hear from Vince’s faithful is that these athletes all managed to accomplish a world title reign as a result of the added opportunity afforded by the brand split. I’ll put it to you that Vince is simply back to his old drawing board of throwing a ton of shit against the wall when he has no idea which end is up and hoping some of it sticks. Problem is, when none of them manage to catch fire like Steve Austin: The Second Coming, they have the rug yanked out from underneath their run and Vince defers Right back to the Mark Henry’s, the Umaga’s and the Big Show’s or else falls back on the big names of yesteryear (Taker, HHH) who can still go…perhaps not as well as they used to, but still get over based upon their name appeal and solid ability.

The fact is, Taker is the last huge name Vince employs, period. Sure, HHH has had some crossover appeal (gotta wonder how those strings got pulled), but I don’t think I need to argue that he’s seen better days and has never made “household name” status. And, yeah, I’ll say it, neither have Rob Van Dam, Chris Benoit, or Shawn Michaels, my three favorite performers of all time. Each brand has its featured talent, but Taker is the last of his kind. The Rock is in Hollywood, Austin *may* have one more match in him, Hogan is a leathery walking corpse, Randy Savage flipped out and has exiled himself, Roddy Piper and Bret Hart are lucky to be alive at this point. There hasn’t been a single phenomenon, marquee-level, breakout star created by WWE since the Attitude era. Brock Lesnar was on his way, but, as eRIK mentioned, he gave up the business entirely.

(I disqualify Kurt Angle from this discussion because 1. Vince didn’t create him, he was already known in the sports and entertainment worlds due to his winning the gold medal at the Olympics with a broken freakin neck; and 2. Vince drove Angle to the alternative company…I’m not dignifying eRIK’s claim that Angle’s a quitter with a response.)

Which brings us back to d’oh, that being Taker versus Kennedy. Somebody has to start putting someone over and soon, otherwise anyone not on the level of a Viscera or a Vito will eventually all be wallowing in a pool of upper-mid-card mediocrity, with no one establishing any real dominance over anyone else, only managing to rise above to suit whatever story McMahonagement happens to have on tap at the moment, which will likely involve more pathetic attempts at getting a scrap of mainstream attention, even though anytime WWE manages such a thing, the announcer/anchor reading the story off the prompter has a tone of indigence in their voice and a snide, condescending gleam in their eye because they think it’s all a big joke.

To go back to eRik’s e-mail, he suggests that perhaps Taker went over Kennedy because Vince is finally giving The Dead Man a reward for his loyalty all these years. That may well be; however, how do you explain Khali? Honestly, a guy who can’t speak English, can hardly move and is so bad in the ring that 1. he had to be placed on the show with the tape-delay so his matches could be post-edited; 2. he KILLED someone in the developmental league. A dead-end such as Khali was given a HELL of a lot more than was Kennedy, and now he’s the world’s largest valet for a CruiserWeight on WWE’s bastard brand. Granted, Taker got his heat back and won that feud…he HAD to! You want to know how damage a legend like Taker? Allow a foot-on-the-chest pin on Taker to stand unanswered by an abortion like Khali. Kennedy didn’t need to go to those lengths to make his name against Taker, but, likewise, Taker didn’t need to be given as many opportunities as he was afforded to make certain Kennedy “knew his role”, and Kennedy certainly didn’t need to run away like a child with poo in his pants as often as he did.

And what was this about Taker “finally” getting some glory? Are you kidding me? Who’s 15-0 at WrestleMania? It ain’t even HHH…Taker saw to that at WMX-17 (in the sleeper match and one of my favorite stories of that year!). This is something else that irritates me about the “positive kids”; they’re so quick to jump to Vince’s defense they ignore the fact that, quite frankly, they don’t stop to think that they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s a standard in the “time-honored tradition of the business” that the guy on his way out goes out on his back. He doesn’t get a little goodbye kiss from the promoter in thanks for all his years of dedicated service.

And on that subject, I question praising Taker too much over his loyalty to Vince during the Monday Night Wars. Taker going to WCW would have been absolutely idiotic on his part for virtually everyone involved. He’d not have been allowed to carry on with Vince-owned The Undertaker gimmick in WCW, a character that means more to him than the millions he’d have made working for Turner. Vince would have lost The Taker character once Mark Calloway left, as we all saw what happened when Fakes Razor & Diesel were introduced on WWF-TV in an asinine attempt to replace Scott Hall & Kevin Nash after they bailed to WCW. And Eric Bischoff has since admitted that he’d have not known what to do with Calloway should he have jumped. It would have been another Bret Hart situation all over again, in that it wasn’t the having for the company, but rather the taking from Vince that counted to Uncle Eric. However, and I want to underscore this in Taker’s regard, I commend him for having had the intelligence and business savvy to recognize that he’d be much better served in the long-term to stay put in the WWF.

To bring this all around, I want to make clear that, I too, admire and respect The Undertaker, and whole-heartedly echo eRIK’s sentiment that there will never be another like him. Bottom line, Taker’s the best big man ever in the business, nothing will ever bring that into dispute. And, who knows, perhaps there are big things in store for Kennedy after all; Austin certainly had a couple run-ins with Taker before he ever got his hands on a world title, so there could very well still be hope for the man hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin!

And as far as Johnny Sorrow’s e-mail goes, no, I did not write the guy off in so many words. What I meant to get across, at least, was, historically speaking, foreign performers don’t fair too well in the WWF/E, Samoans, of course, excepted. They nearly invariably get locked into a gimmick that focuses on their nationality and they eventually turn on the fans for not thinking their home country is superior to America, and then someone like The Patriot (who was about on par with Khali by the time he made to the WWF) or Jim Duggan to wave an American flag and get the big win, generally around the 4th of July. As always when I think I smell trash on the wind, I’m hoping I’m wRong, but history has set a different precedent and seeing as how Vince appears to be trying to take the company back to 1993, I’m wincing like a retard under a plastic tarp at a Gallagher concert. I was wRong about Jimmy Wang Yang…now if we could just get him back on TV and involved in a meaningful program against someone decent…Also, preliminary response regarding Koslov’s string of matches with Val Venis on the house show circuit have been extremely favorable, so that, at least, brings my hopes up quite a bit!

I really wanted to address the issue I said I’d discuss last week with respect to my views on how Vince contributed to the demise of ECW, but this has been a crazy week and I’ve been lucky to get these five pages down in and of themselves. Besides, I’ve talked your eyes off as it is. I promise to get to that next week, as well as discuss faithful reader Todd Vote’s idea on how to make Kane relevant once again. In the meantime, please take a moment and respond your views on the current state of WWE as well as TNA. Thanks for sticking with me on this one!

Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: [email protected]

Raw 1.01.07:

The Right:

PPV Build – In my opinion, they did a really solid build for the PPV here on this episode, which they really needed to do. There was a LOT of goodness in the building here, and while it is the ONLY “Right” this week, it is a BIG one due to all of the goodness it involved.