The Ripple Effect 1.12.07: Lashley Takes Over

She works for our school’s online newspaper, and she was cleaning out the doldrums of the office when she found something she thought I would like. She was right on target, and my face lit up when I saw two 8×10 WWE photos. One was of Jim Ross circa 1993 (his first year in WWE). The other…was an AUTOGRAPHED picture of Bret “The Hitman” Hart himself!

This was awesome for a number of reasons, besides the pleasure of having the pictures. First off, I didn’t even know this chick knew I was a wrestling fan. Also, the pictures are so awesomely cheesy looking, particularly JR, who hadn’t quite established his character yet and has an almost Paul Bearer face in the photo. It was an awesome present, and both pictures are on proud display in my bedroom.

Anyway, let’s get on with the fifth edition of the RE!

Entrance Music

This is an attempt to pay tribute to the guys who add more to the mystique of a wrestler than just about anybody…the music guys. Plenty of times over the years, a wrestler’s career has been helped along in a big way by a new, really fitting, entrance theme. There’s a reason why so many people bought the “WWF: The Music” series, and it’s because Vince’s boys have always done a good job crafting tunes that not only fit a wrestler’s personality but help pop the crowd. Everybody knew what was coming when they heard the glass shatter, the Motorhead guitar riff or simply the words “IF YA SMELL…”

This week’s entrance music (which you can hum yourself while you read) is…

!~ Edge ~!

When the Rated-R Superstar debuted in WWE in 1998, you could tell he had the makings of a superstar. He had a good look, he had an aura of legitimacy about him and he was given a good entrance, complete with Sandman-style crowd entrance. WWE has always been good about giving guys a good “pop moment” in their music, and Edge’s “You think you know me” has been a staple for almost a decade now. When he returned from injury shortly after WMXX, they experimented around with his music before finally sticking with an awesome track called “Metalingus” by rock band Alter Bridge (they would also contribute the theme song to the 2005 Royal Rumble). The song really captures Edge’s character, from the lyrics right down to the pumping rock beat. This definitely stands as a killer entrance theme.

Reader Feedback

Never underestimate the IWC’s willingness to correct someone’s mistakes. I got no less than ten e-mails telling me that Chris Benoit’s theme is in fact “Whatever” by Our Lady Peace. Personally, I didn’t even know they were still a band. I liked “Somewhere Out There” but never heard anything else by them. Thanks to everyone, and feel free to tell me what else I fuck up. Onto this week’s feedback dump!

From RockaFellaKiller, who may or may not hate Jay-Z:

I know by the time you get this I would be a week late but, here’s my Fantasy WM card

Closing chapters, thats what a Company’s biggest show is supposed to do, clear up loose ends, while beginning new story lines, DX Came back together because they were held down by the company and to close it both Men a year later stand in the ring as champions. Tell me what ya think!

You’ve certainly got yourself a stacked card, my friend. I’m going to assume you’re not taking current storylines (or the brand split) into account with this one, so I’ll judge them on their merit as a match and storyline alone.

Edge and HHH definitely should be the main event this year, but fate intervened on that one, huh? I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have gotten that match anyway though. It makes perfect sense in storyline terms and would just require a title victory for Edge over Cena, which has happened before.

The ECW title match is pretty much exactly where the current one is headed right now. This is a good storyline because RVD and Lashley have pretty much proven themselves as equals over the past couple of weeks. Test is a good way to stir the pot I think.

Your MITB suffers from the same problem a lot of suggestions had: too many big stars. I like the idea of this match as something to get mid-carders into that upper-tier status. It of course did wonders for Edge and RVD, but I would argue that it put everyone in the match over to an extent, though some (Shelton) more than others.

I gotta say, I don’t like the idea of throwing six dudes together, seemingly at random, for a match. I’m sure it would be entertaining and well done, but I just don’t want to see that at the biggest show of the year.

There’s been pretty much unanimous cry for a Vince/Foley match at WM. WWE needs to take notice and make it happen! FYI: I’m buying Foley’s book the day it comes out.

I think Taker/Umaga could have a lot of intrigue, but I’ve just grown too numb to the whole Taker vs. the new temporary big guy thing to care about it. It’d be fun to watch though.

I’d be down to watch London and Kendrick get their spotlight moment at WM. Sacrificing MNM, who probably wouldn’t be that upset by being forced to break up, seems arbitrary but would make a good selling point for the champs’ overness.

I’m not sure what to think about brother vs. brother. It’s happened before, and no one really liked it. And there’s not much of a reason to think it’d be any different now. Bottom line: these two are better together than Matt is apart. Unless Matt beat Jeff within an inch of his life on Raw before the show, there’d be no reason to think he could beat him.

We’re really stretching the lines of “fantasy booking” with the Cena/Coach & Show match aren’t we? To be frank, I don’t like anything about this match except the fact that Cena doesn’t have the title.

I would argue that the majority of WWE fans don’t know who Ariel is. That’s pretty much why she shouldn’t be fighting for the Women’s title at WM. Not this soon.

Batista and Booker has been done to death over the past year and probably wouldn’t be that good. However, you’re really focusing on DX so I’ll talk about that. Although, I don’t necessarily love the way the story plays out, the payoff sounds kind of worth it. You’ve created a nice little moment with the DX emotional domination, a moment I’d like to see.

Sounds immensely entertaining.

From David McKenzie, who loves rematches:

Hi might be a little late with my predictions but ill submit them to you anyway, would really enjoy any feedback you could give me.

WWE tag titles Do or Die Tag-team Tag-match: Kendrick and London vs Undertaker and Kane
Stipulation being if one team loses they must never team toghter again, Undertaker is held by MVP whilist Kane is beaten by various double team moves and pinned.

I like the idea of putting Benoit and Finlay together for WM. It’s not what I would do, but it’s also better than what WWE is going to do with them. It’s a proven good match.

I’m not sure if Nitro’s ready to take on HBK at WM yet. Let’s keep this is mind: Michaels is arguably the greatest performer in the history of this show. There’s no way anyone would buy Nitro beating him on this stage.

You know, when Super Crazy debuted on Raw last year I he had enough momentum to where I thought he could be in the MITB. Then he stopped appearing on Raw. That said, I like your cast of characters here, except for the Miz who absolutely should not be allowed into this match. Not that I don’t like the guy, but he will kill himself in this environment.

I’m not very excited to see the Kennedy/Kenny match, but in a few years it will probably make me salivate.

I guess Flair/Hogan’s one match they haven’t done at WM yet. Unfortunately, Flair’s constant presence has denied him that mystique Hogan has been able to salvage from his infrequent appearances, and he wouldn’t even stand a chance against a man who kicked his ass twelve years ago.

Another tally in the Foley/Vince box. Did I mix a metaphor just now?

The only problem I have with the title match is that the WM main event should be a match we didn’t seen on a less important PPV last year. It would be an awesome match though.

Unfortunately for Sabu, his only chance at a WM match at this point is MITB.

I don’t think Punk is quite ready for a main event push yet. It sounds stupid to say, even in my head, but it’s just not time yet. As much as it pains me to say this, stick Test in there instead.

The world title match very much has a “been there, done that” feel to it. Batista/Booker is just not a viable combination anymore. Give them both time to get away from each other, then toss them back together.

Now here’s some fantasy booking! I guess I’d be interested in seeing these two teams go at it, as long as the booking actually gave me some doubts that there might be an upset.

Thanks for the card, brother.

From Joe Jones, who must learn grammar, spelling and punctuation:

here is my idea for 2007 first with raw i think now since hbk is getting older would be the time for him to lift up other superstars have him turn on hhh and join rated rko as their leader make rko the next nwo lead by shawn michaels this will keep triple h atleast out of the title picture while battling rated rko make coach the official raw gm and have him fued with cena all year trying to screw cena in every kind of way for the title put the i.c. strap back on shelton benjamin and have him fued with jeff hardy they could put on 1 heck of a ladder match bring nitro up to superstar status by having coach use him to try to take the title from cena bring the tag team division up to speed by having crime time and the highlanders fued over the belts with the wgtt when shelton’s not the i.c. champ waiting for a chance with some of the ovw tag teams dying to get a shot while rated rko is still holding the belts.
for ecw turn rvd heel and give hime the belt give ecw a gm that is a heel and make him constantly put road blocks in lashley’s quest to regain the gold and bring back the ecw tv title and make test cm punk sabu kevin thorn and all the up and coming talent fued back and forth for the belt give lashley khali rvd bring chris benoit to have him go after the heavyweight title bring back jericho or raven and have them chase the title as well bring in rey m. from smackdown and have him fued for the heavyweight title as well terkay&burke the basham brothers who buy the way can take the tables gimmick like the dudleys used to have balls&sandman f.b.i. mike knox and snitsky can headline your tag team division then you can bring back your ecw tag titles bring somemore girls and remake the nitro girls but only call them the vixens bring joey mercury from smackdown and make him like hbk when he first turned heel back in the day with kelly kelly by his side he’s easily a heavyweight contender or for the tv title.
and for smackdown bring back paul bearer and give the undertaker&kane the tag titles only to restart the ministry of darkness and have them do a sacrifice on the boogeyman and change his character cause he needs it bad bring viscera to team with the ministry of darkness and have the undertaker make them the tag team champs and have the undertaker go after batista for the title have mvp and mr kennedy fued for the us title along with chavo g. and finlay have vince come fire teddy long and make eric bischoff gm and teddy long manage booker t after they get done with king booker and also bring mark henry a remake the nation of domination only to have them fued with the (face)beer drinking rednecks lance cade and trevor murdoch bring matt hardy back to main event status by winning the king of the ring and give him a girlfriend so we can relive the edge&lita story win a woman constantly cheats to help her man win bring in monty brown to help fight off the ministry of darkness taking over smackdown

It was pretty difficult to get through most of that, but you’ve got some good ideas. I think most of the problem with this setup would be the fact that many of the guys you’re pushing just aren’t over and won’t be without some major character alterations. You are full of ideas though, so I can’t fault you that much.

From Kevin Rutherford, who’s as confused as every wrestling fan:

I just read your predictions article and I was wondering if you knew where this VKM thing with the WWE is going. I would really love to see the match VKM v. DX but I doubt it will happen. I was just wondering where this going, thank you.

To tell you the truth, I’m wondering where this is going myself. Larry Czonka’s broken down a million times (literally over and over) why the VKM angle is stupid. However, I think the success rate of this angle depends on what they’re setting out to accomplish. If their goal is to make Vince take notice, they’re going to fail. If their goal is to have a match with DX, they’re going to fail. If their goal is to get people talking about the VKM, they’ve already succeeded.

From Benj Nedia, who should drink heavily all the time and call it “Benj drinking”:

Consider this scenario for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania 23:
John Cena and Umaga fight over the WWE title at New Year’s Revolution. The match becomes a no-contest due to interference. A furious Vince then decides to schedule a rematch the next night on RAW. Again the fight ends in a no-contest because of interference from DX, Rated RKO and the whole RAW locker room. Vince McMahon then announces that because of the chaos and the lack of a clear winner, the WWE title is now declared vacant. However, he also declared that the solution for the WWE Title controversy will be announced at the beginning of Friday Night Smackdown. He thus invited all the superstars from the three brands to show up on Smackdown.
At the beginning of Smackdown, Vince then announces to all the superstars from RAW, Smackdown and ECW that the WWE Title will be on the line on this year’s Royal Rumble. The winner of the Royal Rumble match will become the new WWE champion.
Fast forward to Royal Rumble. The last 6 people are Umaga, John Cena, Edge, Randy Orton, Kennedy, and the Undertaker. Edge eliminates Undertaker. John Cena eliminates Umaga. And to everyone’s surprise, Orton eliminates Edge. Edge was stunned to find out that his partner betrayed him. Edge attempts to attack Orton with the title belt but security stops him and is then carried out of the arena. Last three remaining are Cena, Orton and Kennedy. Kennedy is eliminated by Cena. Orton then takes advantage of the title belt that was left in the ring by Edge. Orton hits Cena with the spinner belt and then throws him over the top rope. Orton is now declared as the new WWE Champion while the crowd is shouting “bullshit” and is throwing debris at him.

Next night on RAW, Orton explains why he betrayed Edge. He says that he was the one carrying Rated RKO and that Edge is the reason why Rated RKO lost to DX. And that he doesn’t want to be partners with a loser. Orton also says that he is not only the Legend Killer but is also the Champ Killer as he destroyed John Cena’s chances to become champion once again. Edge suddenly interrupts Orton’s speech with a spear. Edge then challenges Orton to a title match for the night’s main event.
Coach then comes out and makes the title match official.
The main event for the night is Edge vs Randy Orton for the WWE Title. Edge seemed poised to win the title when the lights suddenly turned black and the sound of the Undertaker’s gong filled the air. A video of the Undertaker is seen at the TitanTron challenging Edge to a match at Wrestlemania. When the lights turned back on, a confused Edge faced Orton and was suddenly hit by Orton by the RKO and then followed by a pin for the three count. Orton then attacked Edge with the title belt when suddenly Cena’s music began to play. Orton waits for Cena to run down the entrance ramp not knowing that Cena is already in the ring waiting for him. Orton turns around and is met with a kick to the gut and then followed by an FU. Cena then said to the unconscious Orton, “You haven’t killed me yet. But I’m gonna kill your ass at Wrestlemania!”.
Fast forward to Wrestlemania 23. Cena faces Orton in a no disqualification match for the WWE Title at the main event. After a see-saw battle and interferences from Umaga and Edge, John Cena makes Orton submit to the STF-U to win his fourth WWE Championship.

First of all, Cena/Umaga should’ve ended in a no-contest so they wouldn’t have to salvage Umaga’s miraculous heat. I would point out that the title can’t change as a result of a no-contest, but that’s never stopped Vince before, has it?

I like the idea of the Rumble being for the title. It hasn’t happened in over a decade, and the formula for the Rumble winners going to WM is getting slightly stale. This would be a welcome change in my mind. Where I disagree on you though is the winner. I absolutely do not want Randy Orton as my champion. A lot of people are seemingly wanting Orton to be in the title picture this year, and it worries me.

I think a Taker/Edge match would be really cool. Edge always does really well in big match situations, and Taker at WM is always a big match. The added intrigue of streak vs. streak would be cool as well. I do have to question why it would happen this year, but I like the match overall.

Overall, I definitely have to give you points for detail and originality. Maybe when Orton proves he can handle the pressure, then I’ll let him in the WM main event, but not yet.

Thanks for all the good stuff, boys.

Thing I Liked the Most About Watching Wrestling This Week

The point of this section is pretty self explanatory. No matter how much crap gets thrown at us wrestling fans, I can always find myself picking out at least one thing that reminds me why I keep coming back. I think it’s the same for all wrestling fans; we complain about how shitty things get, but they always manage to do something right.

This week’s winner is:

!~ Storylines in ECW ~!

Part of the reason ECW hasn’t gotten any real fan support is their startling lack of cohesive storylines. It’s seemed like they’ve just thrown characters out there and paired them off at random. This came to a head with the disastrous December to Dismember PPV. However, they finally seem to be getting the clue that it’s the stories, not just the dudes, that put asses in the seats. This week we got a solid night of wrestling that started out with a pretty good Holly/CM Punk match. They didn’t tear the house down, but they had a sound, storytelling match. Now they have a pretty heated feud going and a heel who picked up a clean win over his opponent. Then we got Sandman/Burke, which could be interesting as long as they don’t insist on making Burke a stepping stone to Terkay (Burke does wear the guy’s name oh his jacket). We had the blowoff to the Dreamer/Khali mini-feud. And we got Lashley/RVD 2 as our main event. It wasn’t the best match I’ve seen recently, but they’re clearly going somewhere with this and that’s what counts. They may finally have some direction in extremeland!

The Power 25…Calhoun-ified!

Every week, WWE.com puts out whey they call the “Power 25”, a kayfabe ranking of the top 25 superstars in WWE. It covers all brands and supposedly accounts for victories, quality of opponents, momentum, overall in-ring dominance and “intangibles”.

And every week, I will look at these rankings and what it means to the wrestling landscape. It really is interesting to look at how WWE themselves rank their performers. So, let’s get to it!

1. Bobby Lashley (last week: 2) – I did not think Cena was coming down from the top for a long time, but a solid match with RVD will do that for you. The best way I can say it is that he’s doing a very pleasant job with the ECW title.

2. John Cena (last week: 2) – Of course this list was published before Cena ended the big Umaga streak, so I’m sure he’ll be back at #1 next week. My girlfriend thinks he’s hot, and I’m not jealous at all.

3. Batista (last week: 3) – Tonight the world will know who goes up against the Animal at NYR. If you want to know now, just check the SmackDown spoilers (I did, and I’m a little excited).

4. Umaga (last week: 4) – He suffered his first loss, but it doesn’t look like the Cena feud has run its course just yet. Maybe bringing Khali over is a trick to make Umaga look ten times better.

5. DX (last week: 5) – Well, I’m guessing this one’s going to change next week. It really sucks for Raw to lose HHH going into WM time, because you know both he and HBK were going to make a big impact on the show. I guess it’s up to Shawn, which is OK by me.

6. Rated-RKO (last week: 6) – Orton had better thank his lucky stars he’s been able to mooch off of Edge’s heat during this run. They’ve had the tag titles way too long for a non-regular tag team. Does the turmoil match mean they’re going to lose to Cryme Tyme?

7. Jeff Hardy (last week: 8) – I was really thinking he was going to lose the IC title at NYR, but I guess they have other plans for Jeff. I’m very curious as to his role in the Rumble and at WM.

8. Chris Benoit (last week: 7) – He lost to Mr, Kennedy in a match that should do good things for Kennedy’s reputation. Benoit is a fucking team player man.

9. CM Punk (last week: 8) – Two undefeated streaks end in one week for WWE. I guess it’s OK it happened this way, because Punk’s not really the “undefeated streak” kind of guy. He’ll get his head back, believe me.

10. King Booker (last week: 11) – The reason why the SmackDown Sprint was a good idea was that it helped guys like Kane and Booker stay in the public eye by being in the lead through the night without actually having them come out on top. Seeing our King’s image on the “beat the clock” screen was a nice feeling.

11. Mr. Kennedy (last week: 14) – Kennedy shoots up by coming out on top in the SD main event. It’s a cool feeling knowing that his face is going to kick off the show tonight.

12. Carlito (last week: 10) – Can someone please find someone for Carlito to feud with who isn’t Chris Masters? It’s been over a year; make it happen.

13. Rob Van Dam (last week: 12) – This is confusing: Lashley and RVD end up in the same situation at the end of their match. Lashley shoots up one rank and overtakes the WWE’s posterboy, and RVD falls behind a guy who lost a midcard match at this week’s PPV?

14. Johnny Nitro (last week: 13) – Nitro’s been able to stir up a lot of momentum for himself lately, but he’s got to get himself a big win if he wants to really climb up the ladder. He’s got the look, he’s got the girl, just give him the W.

15. Test (last week: 16) – He’s made his presence known in the ECW title picture as of this week. Are we headed to a Test match for a world title at a PPV? I kind of think we are…Foley must be so proud.

16. Ric Flair (last week: 15) – As awesome as Flair’s been, I really wish he would stop wrestling on an active schedule. It’s not that he’s tarnishing his legacy, but I want to get excited for Flair matches and I haven’t been.

17. London & Kendrick (last week: 17) – A lot of people complained about their one-on-one match, but I thought it was fine. It’ll explode one day, but there’s no need to go all out now.

18. Kane (last week: 20) – He got to show his dominance early on SD last week, and he stayed in the minds of the fans until our King beat the clock.

19. Matt Hardy (last week: 18) – Let’s face it: Matt needs someone else to get over on a real basis.

20. William Regal & Dave Taylor (last week: 19) – These guys haven’t exactly made their presence known on SD, but I’m sure they’ll get their next title shot in no time (go read the SD spoilers).

21. MVP (last week: 22) – It looks like getting burned is going to be MVP’s legacy for quite some time, although I thought his promo was very strong and got over his toughness. Go figure.

22. Undertaker (last week: 21) – I like how they played off of the Taker/Kennedy rivalry at the end of SD by having Teddy basically gloat when he announced next week’s contestants. Kennedy’s face was excellent.

23. Gregory Helms (last week: 24) – Why in the blue hell is Helms feuding with Boogeyman? Nothing, I repeat, nothing is going to be accomplished by doing this, except damage to Helms’ career.

24. Victoria (last week: 23) – She’ll likely drop off the list next week due to her loss at NYR, but she’ll still make regular appearances on my desktop.

25. Kenny Dykstra (last week: –) – I still can’t get over the fact that they gave him the name “Dykstra.” Who thought that would be the best name? Who sat down and thought, “You know what name sounds really intimidating and impressive? Dykstra that’s what!”

Peace Out!

That’ll bring an end to the RE for this week. The column is kind of short this week, because I’m getting ready for a huge tournament this week. I’m on the speech/debate team at my school, and we have the biggest tournament in the country that isn’t nationals, which we’re leaving for today. I’m actually not the only IWC member in speech, so I’ll wish good luck to one of our colleagues at InsidePulse, Logan Scisco, who I’m assuming will be at the tournament as well.

I’ll leave you with a rather long quotation I found on a poster last week. I bought it immediately because I thought it was so cool. It’s a picture of the Milky Way with a tiny little crosshair on the edge representing Earth; the following words accompany the picture:

“Look at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

“The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

“Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all the vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

“The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

“It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. It underscores our responsibility to dead more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”