MeeThinks 1.16.07: The Holiday Haul

As promised, this week we’re taking a bit of a break from the regularly-scheduled rat race to give one last “hurrah” to the 2006 holiday season. “Christmas in JANUARY?!” you say?

Well, the way I see it is this:

Last week’s RAW was pretty freakin’ bad, folks. Even for an interwebz optimist like Mee — there was just “embarrassingly awful” written ALL over the show. And from “Rosie” vs. “Donald” to the first step toward a Great Khali main event push… last week’s RAW just left Mee scratching my head and counting down the minutes until the 11:00 o’clock hour rolled around.

At times like these –

Rather than beat my head against the glass ceiling of blind optimism, or waste y’all’s time barking up the “I swear it’s not that bad” tree — let’s face facts: Optimistic though we might like to be, sometimes shows just dont cut the mustard. And when “crap” is “crap,” there’s little reason to sugarcoat it any further.

But rather than dwell on the negative here… I’d rather keep the positive slant on all things wrasslin’ by sizing up some of the “good” wrestling-related stuff I happened to stumble across just a few short weeks ago.

So this week –

Rather than dwell on the dreck that was last week’s RAW or that less-than-impressive LAX/Team 3D match (etc., etc….) — I figured we’d switch gears to the good stuff and size up the infamous “Meehan wrasslin’ Christmas haul of 2006.” After all, what’s a good holiday WITHOUT some quality wrestling merchandise to fill your stockings, right?

Rock & roll.

Alright folks, here’s a mini “top five” on the top wrestling-related items I just so happened to come into posession of over the course of this past holiday. Believe it or not, this is just the first half of my wrasslin’ holiday haul of the year — so MeeThinks I’ll save the other half (including MeeThinks on the Piper DVD AND the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Anthology, to name but a few) for a later column the next time a week’s worth of wrasslin’ goes down the crapper, eh?

Regardless –

This first half of the holiday haul is loarded with plenty of distractions when a regularly-scheduled episode of wrestling gets pre-empted or goes sour (like last week), and PLENTY of reasons to stay positive if you asked Mee!

Here’s the first fifteen, eh?

Wrestling Item 1: WWE “Best of 2006” Magazine

1. It’s Really Not That Bad – Yes, the articles range from “brief” to “nonexistent,” and sure, the gratuitous references to the Divas is certainly nothing to rush out to the store over. But there are still a LOT of reasons to appreciate the ‘rag regardless of its shortcomings (as we’ll see below) — and believe it or not? The publication could be a lot, LOT worse than what it is now. Think back to when “The New Generation” was in full effect and the (then-)WWF Magazine found itself castrated by a slew of lame video game reviews, a bevvy of dumb columns (“Advice to The Lovelorn” by Shawn Michaels and Alundra Blayze?), and an absence of the same punch delivered by its more “Attitude”-geared, in-brand rival (then-titled “RAW” Magazine) — yup, WWF magazine has definitely been worse than what we’ve got here.

2. Kayfabe Isn’t Dead! – Maybe it was the writer in Mee, but some of my best memories of the old WWF/E magazines always used to come from reading those quote-unquote “interviews” with Superstars that were so obviously and transparently written by an editor who was desperately determined to get a gimmick or performer over REGARDLESS of how miserable or doomed the guy might be. Kinda’ like the time “WWF Magazine tracked down Tatanka in his million-dollar hideaway” after the Native Son turned traitor and sided with Ted DiBiase. Or that time when “Salvadore Sincere” was profiled in the laughably titled “Rookies to Legends” column. Yup, WWF/E Magazine’s attempts to “keep kayfabe” sure were lame back in the day — and a brief perusal of this month’s issue shows us that this same spirit of “its still real to us, dammit!” is unquestionably alive and well in the editing cubicles of the WWE Magazine of today. Case in point? Edge wins the coveted “WWE Magazine Jerk of the Year” award, and then procedes to “tell” WWE magazine that the fans (and its readers) obviously can’t tell a superstar when they see one, so that he’ll gladly accept this award “with pride” just to rub it in our faces how very wrong we all are. Gotta’ love kayfabe, right?

3. WCW, however, *IS* Dead, Alright – If there was ever a question in your mind as to whether Vince McMahon could let sleeping dogs lie? Look no further than the pages of WWE Magazine — wherein Vince’s former rival promotion has been reduced to a veritable running joke. Actual quote — “And you wonder why [that] company went bankrupt!” Good to see we’ve moved on from seven years ago, no? Ah well — nostalgia is fun, even if it *is* a bit more “mean spirited” than “good-natured.” Regardless, I *will* say that it’s nice to see WCW isn’t the *only* whipping boy being taken to task in the hallowed pages of WWE Magazine. For as we’ll see in just a second — “what goes around comes around” you know…

4. Pot-shots At The Past – When giving WWE Magazine the benefit of the doubt, it’s always nice to see a publication (about pro wrestling, no less!) not take itself *too* seriously. As a result? I was (surprisingly!) impressed to discover that an OFFICIAL WWE publication pulled no punches when calling its company out on just a few of the more bone-headed moves in recent (and not-so-recent) memory. Case in point? They called the Punjabi Prison match (and I quote) “Memorable… for all the wrong reasons.” They rag on RVD for his run-in with Johnny Law, and there’s not one but TWO digs in there about the short-lived greatness that was the WWF’s Wrestling Magician (Illusionist?) — PHANTASIO!!!

5. … A Girl Named ‘Maria.’ – Four words: Life-sized Maria Poster. Over the course of three issues, the kind folks over at WWE Magazine are being generous enough to lend us an honest-to-goodness, LIFE-SIZED poster of THE most beautiful woman on WWE television today. Last month was from head-to-shoulders. This month? Shoulders to navel (!!!). My friends — if THAT doesn’t make you wanna’ size up the publication, well then you might wanna’ double check your Y Chromosomes…

Wrestling Item 2: The Spectacular Legacy of The AWA (DVD)

1. Baron Von Rashke Shilling Merchandise – This one’s pretty self-explanitory, but there are simply few things more absurdly delightful than watching the chapter of the AWA DVD dedicated to the success of merchandising in the wake of Hulkamania. Watching Hogan in one of those original “made it from a K-Mart garment with iron-on letters” Hulkamania t-shirts is funny enough, but watching Baron Von Rashke trot across the stage and strike “The Claw” pose (in all his “Gollum’s evil twin” glory) all while donning goofy, cheaply-made (and poorly-fitting) Baron merchandise? That’s just too good for words, folks.

2. Nick Bockwinkel was THE SHIT – If you were too young to appreciate the guy (or just too-WWF-centered to pay notice to his career), kindly allow Mee to restate: Nick Bockwinkel was THE SHIT. Hands down, one of the best heels ever to have set foot in a North American wrestling ring, Bockwinkel ranks right up there alongside performers the likes of Ric Flair and the full-blown Evolution heel incarnation of Triple H. Moreover — Bockwinkel was as prototypical a “smooth talking, sharp-dressed badass” as they come. Crisply-pressed suits, brilliant promos with as polished an in-ring technique as they come — Bockwinkel was a shining star in the AWA, and you’ll be doing yourself a disservice as a wrestling fan if you miss the opportunity to see just a few examples of the man in all of his glory on this collection.

[3. Bobby Heenan: Best There Ever Was – Folks who didn’t catch The Brain in the mid-80’s WWF are already missing out (the managers DVD is a good, if perfunctory, glimpse at the guy’s career during the time) — but for those WWF-only fans who might have missed Heenan’s early days in the AWA? Well, you’re just missing some managerial GOLD, folks. Here’s the thing — while some might argue that Heenan in the AWA was only a prefigurement of the full-blown legend he would become a few years on down the line in the WWF, there’s something incredibly rewarding about going back to the origins of the guy’s career to trace and appreciate the earliest examples of what would become the full-on greatness of Bobby The Brain for decades to come. Think of it as “[s]Batman[/s]Bobby Begins,” really — just sit back, relax and enjoy as “The Brain” becomes “The Weasel” becomes “The Legend” as the DVD wears on. Just a really cool glimpse into how Bobby was polishing his “shtick” from day one, and here’s hoping that wrestling fans can look forward to a complete Heenan retrospective DVD set in the year(s?) to come, as the AWA DVD is a great start to prove that there is more than enough Weasel material to keep audiences entertained for hours on end.

4. Gotta’ Love Archival Footage – Lawler with a goatee! Michaels with Jannety! Hogan with… HAIR? Consider the AWA your wrestling equivalent of a high school year book, if you wheeeeeel. And just like going back to the high school yearbook gives you that nostalgic rush of “oh MAN! I used to look like THAT!?!,” the AWA DVD is loaded with some of the oldest archival footage that WWE has ever released (to date) — and it’s a blast of a “where are they now” to compare the latter-day guises of the heroes of “The ‘Mania Years” (Mean Gene, Hogan, etc.) or “The Attitude Era” (Michaels, etc.) to how they looked a good two (or more!) decades ago. True, its sad to see how some of the biggest AWA stars of yesteryear turned out (Curt Hennig and Adrian Adonis come to mind) — but by and large? It’s a fun little nostalgia trip to see some of the best and the brightest years before they hit their nationwide peak of popularity.

5. Bonus Matches – Huzzah! – Being born-and-raised in the WWF-exclusive, “Sportz Entertainment”-friendly region of northern New Jersey, it took a good number of years before I learned there was more to this wacky world of pro wrestling than what Vince McMahon was trotting out on WWF Superstars each week. As a result, it took Mee a LONG time to warm up to the “Southern style” wrestling championed by the NWA, and I was all but oblivious to the technical expertise that was being honed north of the border and beyond. Regardless, they say winners write the history books, no? So there is more than enough reason to be wary that all of the good stuff of non-WWF years gone by would have been all but lost now that the ‘E reigns supreme. Well fear not, wrestling fans — thanks to the magic of DVD, there is PLENTY of archival footage out there for fans of early-80’s in-ring action who might not have been all that high on Vinny Mac’s “big man slugfest” main event. From Verne Gagne through the Midnight Rockers and all the way up to Curt Hennig (in his pre-Mr. Perfect days), the AWA DVD is LOADED with quality matches that more than pay tribute to a promotion who at times could (arguably) boast the most sound in-ring product in the business of its day.

Wrestling Item 3: The Best of The X Division (DVD Twin Pack)

1. What A Difference (A Few) Years Make… – As far as personal favorites of the collection go, MeeThinks I’ve got to give the nod to the Ultimate X Match between AJ Styles, Petey Williams and Chris Sabin on disc one. Just a remarkable example of never-before-seen bumps and spots all over the place, yet all set-up and delivered without that “oh MAN — that’s WAY too convoluted!” staging that has plagued so many X Division contests in recent years. Regardless, we’re not here to talk about the greatness of the match itself (good though it was)… and what I’m more intrigued by in this particular example is how today — just a little over two years after that match was taped — EVERY PARTICIPANT in the contest has since switched allegiances. Styles and Sabin? Full-blown faces at the time, now bona-fide rule breakers. Petey Williams? Once an all-out Canadian corner-cutting heel, now reborn as an almost-all-American freedom fightin’ good guy. Plus Coach D’Amore is nowhere to be seen on TNA television today. Just goes to show you how much has changed in TNA in just a few short years, I suppose.

2. Don’t Worry, You Didn’t Miss Much. – As a TNA fan who didn’t get on-board regular TV watching until the company had secured itself a weekly broadcast slot (though I followed it on the ‘web for the few years beforehand), I can’t help but feel like I missed out on the early days of the company by not catching the highs, lows and foundation-setting contests that once took place in the infamous TNA Asylum in Nashville, Tennesee. As such, I was pumped to score this DVD double pack in hopes that I would finally be able to catch a pre-recorded copy of those bouts from Nashville I’d heard so much about. Sadly, such contests were NOWHERE to be found on this collection, which (at first) left Mee feeling a bit cheated in the whole affair. The “good” news, however? Newer fans can take comfort in the fact that (as far as the TNA canon goes) the company apparently hit the “reset” button once it debuted in Orlando’s Impact Zone! And so while its performers, titles and storylines all trace their lineage back to the earliest days of the weekly $10 PPV in Nashville, the “casual fan” can still be caught up to speed (for the most part) by way of the TNA (from Orlando) video archive. And while such a crash-course in TNA history is hardly “exhaustive,” it’s certainly much less “exhausting” on the viewer.

3. AJ Styles Sells Like a Champion – Match after match, I couldn’t help but find myself impressed with AJ Styles’ willingness to sell the offense of his opponents. True, some will argue that the guy oversells to the point of comic buffoonery — but to that I’d say “well, so does Shawn Michaels” — and the bottom line is that BOTH of those guys make for a damned entertaining contest when playing babyface-in-peril. So here’s to you, AJ — and keep up the good work!

4. Canadian Destroyer in Slow Motion – Even in slo-mo (and rewound, and slo-mo again and again, and again), the Canadian Destroyer is still as damned impressive a finisher as they come. If you’re the type of fan who really enjoys disecting how matches and moves are put together — MeeThinks you’ll find few “Wrasslin’ 101” film studies more rewarding than a step-by-step analysis of Petey William’s devastating finisher.

5. The Best Is Yet To Come – Jeremy Borash does a remarkable job of keeping the thread between matches, but perhaps what’s even more promising than the energy and enthusiasm “JB” puts into his pre-match shills? The fact that disc one ends with the X Division debut of Samoa Joe — and that disc two is LOADED with just about as much Joe as a TNA fan could ask for. Watching Angle take Joe to the limit over the past few months makes it easy to forget just how DOMINATING the Samoan Submission Machine was when he ran roughshod over TNA’s little guys for the better part of a full eighteen months. As such, one can’t help but stay high on the TNA product now that Joe is being pushed and taken seriously as a main-event threat. Meanwhile, after giving a second look to the history and prestige of the X Division to this day, one can’t help but hope that now — with the Jackass stuff seemingly behind them — perhaps the X Division stars of tomorrow (Senshi, Sabin, Shelley and Starr) will pick up where disc two left off and give us a new reason to appreciate the “no limits” style of what was most the most innovative active division in North American professional wrestling today.

Agree? Disagree?

“Methinks it sounds a parley to provocation!”
– Iago, Othello
Act II, scene iii

Shoot Mee YourThinks and lemme know!!!

In the meantime…

YouThinks Reader Mail

Thanks to all who’ve been submitting stuff my way. Sorry my responses are (and are likely to continue to remain) a bit briefer than usual. I blame the playoffs (go Pats!).

Jason Smith gets us started

I totally agree with you that this will be a good thing for the RAW brand, and for Rated RKO as well. I think that in their handicapped match next week, Edge and Orton should decimate Michaels with chair shots, etc… to the point that Micheals would have a kayfabe injury. He needs the time off anyway, and that would allow DX to come back fuming mad and set up some great programs for the end of 07 or early 08. this would, as you said, allow Edge and Orton to become the dominant faction in the WWE, and maybe add a couple people to their stable, and maybe even allow Edge to win the RAW strap and Orton to win the Smackdown strap. there are so many possibilities.

Hell, this could be the perfect opportunity for Eugene to make his heel turn and discard the “special” gimmick and be their new crazy enforcer. I mean, if WWE playes this right, we could have one of those great suprise moments when DX shows up on some random RAW 8 months from now and goes apeshit! That would turn the Survivor Series into a watchable PPV. Of course, WWE won’t, and we’ll have some weird Khali-Umaga-Cena triple threat to headline Wrestlemania(would that be the worst main event ever?) and life as we know it will cease to exist.

To conclude, I have a question: why does Cena’s move repetoir suck? I mean, how hard is it to add more moves to your arsenal? Is there too much touring for him to practice new moves? If that were the case, would a decimation of Cena by Rated RKO that would send him away for a few weeks to learn some more shit be such a bad thing?

-Jason Smith

Thanks for writing, Jason. Because the playoffs keep pulling Mee away from the computer as I write this, I’ll keep it brief!

1) Eugene as “special” enforcer? A great thought, but not one WWE is likely to try out anytime soon. MeeThinks WWE has pretty well cut their losses with the Eugene character at this point, and rather than repackage him into an evolved (and intriguing) main-eventer, we’re more likely to see him jobbing out to everybody in the comedy-sideshow undercard for at least the immediate (if not the full-time) future.

2) Why hasn’t Cena’s moveset evolved? Good question. Short answer? Main event style doesn’t lend itself to “testing the waters” with new moves. You know WWE main events — simple template:

A) Face comes out of the box a brawling house of fire
B) Heel cheapshots and gains advantage
C) Heel beats on face for bulk of the match
D) Face powers out, gets a last minute comeback, hits his trademark spots and scores the win (or cheap loss).

In any case — most of the “technical” offense of the WWE main event falls squarely on the shoulders of the heel performer. So long as Cena is stuck in the face slot (since he moves scads of merchandise?) — he’s likely to be relegated to punches and kicks (in the early-going), and a quick Five-Knuckle-Shuffle, FU/STFU combo at the match-end comeback time. Sucks for fans of technical merit, but it’s just as much a knock on WWE’s main event style (and what WE, as wrestling fans, have been conditioned — and ultimately, willing — to accept) as it is a dig at Cena’s in-ring abilities (or lack thereof).

Speaking of in-ring limitations, let’s switch gears to “The Man of 1000 (Rest)Holds” — Randy Orton. Todd Vote? Take it away!

now damn it Meehan, I just sent a rant to Czonka about people giving Orton shit about a chin lock.

Do I have to do the same to you? LOL, seriously why does the guy catch such flack for a chin lock? I mean nobody calls Lashley out for a bear hug, or Triple H for using a sleeper hold, or for that matter Shawn Michaels for having the same 5 moves of doom for the last 986 years(atomic drop clothesline, clothesline, elbow drop, sweet chin music) . Why does Orton catch so much flack for using a chin lock? Would it be better if he used an arm bar as his rest hold? Look at it this way? At least the guy tries to get you to believe that he is working the hold. He puts his whole body into it, and makes it look like he is wrenching it on. Oh, and please take notice to what part of the body he works for his chosen rest hold.. that’s right…the same body part that he nails with his finisher. So why the guff? I see him use the chin lock, but I would not say he relies on it at all.

Other than that I agree with you, that although it is a shame the H’s got injured, the rest of the roster needs to look at the opportunity they could have. Raw will need someone to step up and step up huge.

– Todd Vote

Thanks for writing, Todd. You’re absolutely right, too — there most definitely *is* a psychology in Orton’s applying of head-based attacks before delivering his head-attacking finisher.

That said — it’s not the occassional trip to the headlock well that bothers Mee about Orton (or the manner in which he applies it, for that matter, as that’s very convincing!), it’s simply the fact that restholds make up so much of the man’s arsenal, is all… and (as we saw in the “heel controls the pace of the match” case above) so the overall pace of Orton’s matches just suffers as a result. A few chinlocks here or there wouldn’t kill Mee — I’d just like to see him mix it up with, ya’ know, a spinning drop toe-hold, a Dragon Sleeper, an STF or, heck, even a spinebuster or two.

Brian Thomas doesn’t know how to use the caps lock key, but he brings up a good question none the less.

HELLO,

I ASKED A FEW PEOPLE ABOUT THIS AND NOBODY CAN COME UP WITH A GOOD ANSWER EXCEPT MONEY. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DAMN PPV’S. I WANDER IF PROMOTERS LOOK AT WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND TRYING TO FIX THEIR MISTAKE FROM THE LAST TIME AND MAKE A GOOD PRODUCT. TNA HAS A WAYS TO GO, BUT IS ALREADY DOING WELL IN PPV TV. WWE ON THE OTHER HAND, I DON’T KNOW WHATS GOING ON AND IF IT’S GOING TO HURT THEM IN THE FUTURE NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY VINCE HAS. THEY LOVE TO PROMOTE THE WORLD TITLE MATCH THE MAIN EVENT UNLESS THERE IS A BETTER STORYLINE WITH THE MAIN EVENT PLAYERS. THAT’S A DUMB IDEA BECAUSE SOME OF THE MATCHES THEY’VE HAD SHOULD HAVE BEEN EARLY (LIKE THE ROYAL RUMBLE). ON TV, I NOTICED THEY CAN HAVE SOME GOOD SHOWS AND GET IT READY FOR A PPV AND THE SHOW SUCKS. NOW THEY BROUGHT BACK LIKE IT’S A FANTASTIC THING. IT COULD BE IF THEY RAN IT LIKE IT SHOULD, INSTEAD IT’S MORE LIKE THE THIRD STRING FOOTBALL TEAM THAT NO ONE WANTS TO SEE ANY MORE. THEN THEY ADDED A FEW WRESTLERS THAT DESERVE A GOOD PUSH, BUT COULD’NT BECAUSE OF THE OTHER TALENT THEY TRY TO PUT OVER. ALL THAT I’M SAYING IS THAT THE 5 PPV SHOW THINGS WAS PERFECT. THEN HAVE A LOT OF SATURDAY NIGHT MAIN EVENT SHOWS. OH YEAH WHAT HAPPEN TO THE JAPANESE HARDCORE WRESTLING PPVS THEY USED TO HAVE. I WAS FINALLY GOING TO ORDER ONE THEN IT JUST STOPPED. THIS IS ALL JUST IN MY OPINION, BUT IF VINCE WANTS TO STAY THE TOP DOG(AND HE WILL) HE NEEDS TO REVIEW HIS ROSTERS.

– BRIAN THOMAS

Thanks for writing, dude.

Short answer? Money.

Long answer? Money, money, money.

PPV’s = buyrates, and buyrates = increased advertising revenue. The more PPV’s Vince and company can churn out each year, the more advertisers they can rope along to shill their latest CD, movie, candy bar, video game, or what have you.

Simple economics?

The shelf-life of a hot new movie, CD or video game isn’t very long (nobody’s raving about the X Box 360 now that the Wii and the PS3 are in stores, you know). And so since some of WWE’s biggest regular advertisers (and crossover demographic) just so happen to be the same types looking to buy the latest and greatest video game, CD or DVD? Makes better sense (for the advertisers) to advertise their product on a “here today, gone tomorrow” per-month basis. And since PPV’s come and go on precisely such a per-month basis, PRESTO! You’re looking at a no-brainer cross-promotion to advertisers looking to push through what is an (increasingly shrinking) window of opportunity for a hot new product.

On top of that?

Performers get paid BOTH a “downside guarantee” (a “base salary”) AND (in many cases) — an “incentive-based” bonus payscale to boot (think of it as a “comission check,” if you will). For most performers, their contract “incentives” usually guarantee them something like [x]% of the revenue of a PPV on which they appear. Since more PPV appearances = more chances to appear on a PPV (which, in turn, = “more PPV paydays”)? Wrestlers themselves come to bank on the regular PPV calendar to help fatten their wallets as a monthly “commission”-type bonus to their otherwise “base” salary of the downside guarantee. More PPV’s = more commissions, and more commissions certainly don’t hurt when wrestlers are expected to deduct your everyday “cost of living” (lodging, meals and rental cars, etc.) out of that already-fixed downside guarantee.

Getting back to last week’s column, though… NCHS08JOHNBRYANT and MC Terrell are already speculating about possible dX replacements:

Enjoyed your article as always. Do you think this could be a good time to bring in big Sid and team him up with Michaels as a revamped DX till HHH is ready to go again. Or just bring in someone else that is a big name, I would say use Hogan but there is supposed bad blood between Hogan and Michaels. I’m not sure if Michaels can take 9 months worth of beat downs and stay healthy. To bad Sting won’t work for WWE that would be awesome replacement. Just my wandering thoughts.

– MC Terrell

Interesting, MC. MeeThinks Hogan is the wrong way to go on this one (just because he too can’t work a full schedule at this point), but I’ll get to things in more detail in a second. [blockquote]What’s up Meehan. another thing this does is it opens up the potential for a replacement for HHH in D-Generation X. I mean if you think back to 7,8 years ago It was an HBK injury that allowed X-Pac to join D-X and what with him travelling around and hanging out with the ‘E there’s a chance that X-P-A-C could return.

If they do decide to bring in a Replacement for HHH in DX who do you think it should be and why?

-NCHS08JOHNBRYANTThanks for writing!

If it were up to MEE? I simply WOULD NOT sub in ANY additional Triple H replacements, as I believe that ANY substitutions or alterations to the “original” dX lineup pretty well shoots what little credibility the duo had left in the foot.

That said –

You question was *IF* I hadta’ make one substitution, who would it be and why? And if THAT were the case? I’d probably go as far from the “try to keep things close to home” approach as possible (as the closer to “authentic” you shoot? Likely the farther from success you wind up), and so I’d shake down the top-level performers of the competition and go about throwing crazy money at ANY one top-level, “quintessentially non-WWE” star I could get (think a guy like AJ Styles or Brian Danielson), that way there was at least some “real life” mark-out-factor behind to help mask the fact that he had little-to-nothing to do with the original group whatsoever.

Either way – NO SID!!! And PLEASE NO X-Pac!!!

Travis Homewood has a few lingering thoughts about Khali and ECW:

After pulling the Great Kali from ECW I know am hoping that Test goes on to keep being the thorn in RVD’s side and keep screwing him out of title shots like last night till he wins the title off of Lashley. Then RVD/Test/Lashley in three way elimination dance at Mania where RVD walks out ECW champion.

– Travis Homewood

Thanks for writing, Travis.

Believe it or not — Test is probably THE most viable main event heel contender left on the ECW brand today. We all know that they’re not gonna let Bob Holly main event a PPV any time soon, and with just about EVERYONE who’s not a vampire on the ECW roster currently playing “fan favorites” for the time being: there’s simply no more credible or well-established a main-event heel than (sigh…) Test and Test alone.

Does this mean I’m happy about it? Not exactly — but short of hotshotting a GENE SNITSKY (yes, Gene Snitsky) push or making a hasty CM Punk turn to the rule-breaking dark side come WM23 (still WAYYYY too early for him to main event the biggest PPV of the year, in my opinion)? Test is about as good as it gets for ECW fans. Doesn’t speak too well of the overall quality of the ECW heel roster, mind you — but that’s more of a knock on the roster itself than it is on the (grating and at times non-existant) abilities of one Andrew “Test” Martin, I suppose.

Finally, we’ll close with a remarkably well-written bit of fantasy booking from [b]Jza[/b]: [blockquote]The game is far from over my friend, with not long before WWE’s wrestlemania plans start going into effect, here is a long term solution that not only sorts out raw’s main event scene for the next few months, but also gets past the lack of HHH problem, and the problem of what to do with DX as well as cementing a few main eventers.

a handicap match is scheduled on raw for hbk vs rated RKO right? Have Rated RKO make their entrance first, then HBK comes to the top of the ramp and gives it the old “I found myself a partner” schtick, and John Cena comes out and they go over. They fued in various combinations leading into the royal rumble where you give Edge or Orton a title shot at Cena, let’s say Edge, with Orton in his corner, and Cena with HBK in his. HBK sweet chins Edge, then Orton comes in tackling HBK to the outside where they brawl for a bit while Cena picks up the FU or the STFU and the victory.

While Smackdown had No Way Out, have a street fight on Raw with HBK and Orton where Edge comes out and costs HBK the win. Cena comes out to make the save, but rated RKO issue the beatdown on HBK and Cena, leaving them in a pool of blood and urine. Ultimatly, this is building towards a mania double main event of HBK vs Edge and Cena vs Orton (title).

Edge goes over vs HBK in their match to continue Edge’s mania streak, whilst the Cena/Orton match goes on, until a ref bump when Orton takes advantage and goes for a chair. Back in the ring, and he’s face to face with HBK who stares him down, waving his finger doin the old “no no no” when Cena gets up and WHAM! Eats the sweet chin music! Orton is as shocked as anyone else and doesn’t quite know what to do. HBK gestures like “go ahead, take the pin,” and without taking his eyes off of HBK, Orton waits for Cena to get up, then hits him with the RKO to win the title. HBK holds up a still suspicious Orton’s hand to close the show.

Now this puts Raw in a good position after Mania, as they now have 4 bonafide main eventers to carry the show, leaving you covered if one or two go down with injuries or anything unforseen. Leading up to HHH’s return, they can all feud over the title with HBK turned heel, and Edge feeling lost in the shuffle, effectively turning tweener with Orton. HBK would explain to Cena that “it’s nothing personal, just business” and you could have an uneasy alliance where you don’t know whose side HBK is on.

Play this angle up until Summerslam when HHH gets back and has to play spec ref between Edge and Orton in a title match with HHH obviously having it in for both of them after they way he got taken out. Towards the end of a hard-fought match where HHH two-counts some near-falls and they think HHH is fuckin with them. HBK runs out when it looks as though Rated RKo are about to beat tripster down, (Cena is out injured at the hands of Rated RKO, and HHH still has come-back face heat) then out comes the combustible element HBK. We have a four way stare down that is broken up when Rated RKO go after DX. DX comes out on top winging them out the ring and standing tall, just like the old days. HBK holds up HHH’s hand in defeat and they hug in the ring when HHH turns around to pose to the crowd, when in comes HBK with a Sweet Chin Music….

That HHH sees comming a mile off, and counters into a pedigree! It can be explained that HHH was watching Raw when he was recovering, and even though Shawn was calling him ever day, he knew what he was doing on TV and that he couldn’t be trusted as the slippery snake he has become. You can then have Rated RKO and DX feuding with each other in fatal four ways for the title up until survivor series…

and I really haven’t thought too much past that other than a match for next yr’s mania HAS to be Edge vs Taker streak vs streak!

congrats if you managed to read this far and let me know what you reckon. Apologies for the fact there’s quite a few plotholes and that but I can’t be fucked to fantasy book week after week of TV from now to summerslam! The important thing is it’s a scheme that brings much needed unpredictability to a stale show, helps develop main event talent, yet keeps established names in the rotation. This way as well there’s a five man main event scene as opposes to a two or three man scene, and DX can be broken up.

Take it easy.

Jza.Interesting scenario, Jza. Of course, last night’s RAW would leave us to believe that they’re going in another direction entirely — but hey, who knows? They certainly could do worse than what you’ve drafted up right here!

Nice work, dude, and thanks again for YourThinks.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here…

Thanks again for reading, all. Sorry this week’s column was a bit shorter than others — I blame three incredibly enthralling playoff contests (and one Colts/Ravens match that left plenty of time for nachos). Regardless — enjoy the Conference Championship week, keep pulling for your team if they’re still in the hunt (don’t count out the Patriots just yet, folks!), and always stay positive!