The Piledriver Report 1.17.06: The Piledriver’s WrestleMania Card

The favorite to be given the main event slot at this year’s WrestleMania was Triple H vs. John Cena in a WrestleMania rematch from last year. Now that this match will not be happening, the WWE has tossed out their plans for the show. They are currently trying to put together a revised card. As of right now, the only rumored match that still has legs to be taking place at WrestleMania is World Champion Batista vs. the Undertaker in a match billed as “The Title vs. The Streak.”

Besides the HHH vs. Cena match, another bout in jeopardy of not happening due to injury is The Big Show vs. Hulk Hogan. The WWE has been hell-bent on recreating the Hogan vs. Andre match-up in Detroit due to this year’s WrestleMania being the 20th anniversary of their epic battle. The WWE is trying to position The Big Show as the new Andre the Giant in this match-up. There are a few problems with this scenario. First off, The Big Show is no Andre. The Big Show doesn’t have the aura or mystique of the legendary giant.

Besides his size, one of the things that made Andre unique and extremely marketable was the WWF’s ability to create the illusion that Andre was never pinned during his wrestling career. The Big Show does not have this air of invincibility that Andre had. After all, The Big Show has suffered many loses, not only throughout his wrestling career, but during his WWE career as well. He even suffered loses to Hulk Hogan already during his career. A Hogan/Big Show contest is not a match that will get people to pay $50 to watch the event on pay per view.

The WWE may not have to worry about trying to sell a Big Show vs. Hulk Hogan WrestleMania clash to the fans. The Big Show is still licking his wounds, and is trying to get healthy. There is big doubt in the minds of the executives at the WWE on whether The Big Show will be able to compete at WrestleMania.

In case The Big Show can’t go, the WWE has a contingency plan. The already cancelled their rumored ECW World title match at WrestleMania between Bobby Lashley and The Great Kahli. Yes, you heard that right. Lashley vs. The Great Kahli was going to be the main ECW match at the WWE’s biggest show of the year. Thank God that match isn’t going to take place. If people totally crapped on last week’s “Rosie” vs. “Donald Trump” match, can you imagine the scene at WrestleMania during the Lashley/Kahli match-up? Hearing the fans chant “TNA” and “We Want Wrestling” during this technical wrestling classic would be awesome to hear during the WWE’s biggest show of the year. It would also be interesting to see what kind of fall out would occur if these chants happened.

Fortunately, the fans will not be tortured with having to sit through this match-up. I wish I could say that the WWE had seen the light, and realized that the match was a stinker, not suitable for WrestleMania. NO! That wasn’t the case. The reason for the cancellation of the match was due to The Big Show’s injury.

The WWE moved The Great Kahli over from ECW to RAW for a monster heel run. If The Big Show can’t take on Hogan, then rumor has it that Hogan would fight The Great Kahli at WrestleMania. UGH!!!! With all due respect to Hulk Hogan, but a match pitting the Hulkster against The Great Kahli is going to make Rosie/Trump look like Angle vs. Benoit. Kahli couldn’t have a passable match with Ric Flair, when the “Nature Boy” was in his prime.

With the WWE looking having no potential plans for a WrestleMania card at this point. The Piledriver Report is going to fill out the card for the WWE.

The opening match will feature Sabu vs. CM Punk. WrestleMania is in Detroit this year, which was the old stomping grounds of Sabu’s uncle The Sheik. Rumor has it that the WWE will be inducting The Sheik in the Hall of Fame this year. What better way to have Sabu pay his respects to his uncle then to have Sabu wrestle on the card. Besides, after all of the years that Sabu has busted his body for this business, he deserves to display his talent on the biggest wrestling stage of the year. CM Punk is the future of the WWE. What better way for the future to arrive then at WrestleMania. Unless CM Punk falls victim to the backstage politics that infest the WWE, Punk will be headlining many top WrestleMania matches in the future. A fight with Sabu would be a nice match to start his WrestleMania run.

Seven years ago, the WWE gave the fans a tag team ladder match that tore the house down. At WrestleMania X-Seven, the WWE presented TLC 2 between the Dudleys, the Hardys, and Edge and Christian. WrestleMania 23 is the perfect opportunity for the WWE to present TLC 3. After having a classic four-team ladder match at Armageddon, that not many fans witnessed, why not put the same match on the big show. MNM vs. Taylor/Regal vs. the Hardys vs. Kendrick/London. The WWE should give the match a lot of time, and make this a classic that the fans would remember for years to come.

In a SmackDown only match, Ken Kennedy would go up against Kane. Kennedy is a rising star. Kane is the veteran that the WWE uses to help bring guys up to the next level. While this bout isn’t going to be a classic match-up, it will pit two of SmackDown’s most charismatic stars against one another.

I am going into this article with the mindset that The Big Show isn’t going to be able to go. I will not torture the fans by putting together a Hulk Hogan vs. the Great Kahli match-up. I will put Hogan up against the best rulebreaker in the WWE today. The best fan favorite in WWE history vs. the best heel in the industry at the moment, Edge. Both have charisma, so the pre-match build up would be real good. That match could probably be the true main event of the card. Plus, if you have seen some past WWE DVDs, Edge has talked about being a big Hogan fan growing up. You can build that into the program as well.

The Money in the Bank match seems to be a WrestleMania tradition. Carlito is on the verge of becoming a breakout star. A victory in this match could be the one thing that may lift him into the main event spotlight, like it did two years ago for Edge. Each year, Shelton Benjamin may not be crowned the winner of the Money in the Bank match. However, Benjamin turns out to be the showstopper in this match at every WrestleMania. He definitely gets a spot in this bout. Now that King Booker is basically in limo, he needs something to get himself back into the title picture. As one of the contestants in this match, Booker will still be able to position himself as being a main player on the SmackDown roster. Each year, the Money in the Bank match features a dark horse wrestler who has no business in the match. Chris Masters is that wrestler. He’s still a little too green to be in the position that he has been given just because of his size. However, since he is in that spot, you might as well put him in a match where he can hide his weaknesses. He can also learn a lot from the other competitors in the match. Two men who can help teach him are the final two competitors in the bout. They are Fit Finlay and Ric Flair. The promotional push for Ric Flair is obvious. Can the “Nature Boy” win the match and a shot at winning a World title for possibly one last time? The Money in the Bank match would feature Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. King Booker vs. Chris Masters vs. Fit Finlay vs. Ric Flair

Chavo Guerrero vs. Gregory Helms for the Cruiserweight Championship. Despite battling Chris Benoit for the United States title, Chavo Guerrero should be wrestling in the Cruiserweight division. Since his feud with Rey Mysterio, Chavo has proven that he can be a marketable wrestler. A feud between Chavo and Helms can be just what Cruiserweight division needs to give it the jolt it needs to be taken seriously.

Mickie James vs. Melina vs. Victoria in a Ladies’ Triple Threat match for the WWE Women’s championship. My choice for the competitors in this match is simple. Mickie James vs. Victoria has been done to death already. However, Victoria, as the WWE’s best woman wrestler, deserves a spot in the match. I threw Melina in there to mix things up a bit. However, the WWE usually likes to put their latest Playboy model into their WrestleMania women’s match. In that case, you can plug Ashley into the Melina spot, or make it a four-way match.

Every WrestleMania should include a Match of the Year candidate. This year, I choose Shawn Michael’s and Chris Benoit as the two participants who will be put in that spotlight. At WrestleMania XX, both men, along with Triple H delivered one of the greatest Triple Threat matches in wrestling history. At this year’s WrestleMania, I want to see Benoit and Michael’s go toe to toe in a technical wrestling classic.

Usage vs. the Bogeyman. This match is basically the bout that you would put in the middle of the Michael’s/Benoit match, and the first World title clash. In other words, it’s being put in the spot where you need a match the will be able to give the fans a rest after being on their feet throughout most of the Michael’s/Benoit contest. Plus, after feuding with John Cena this winter, Usage needs a spot somewhere on the card.

ECW World Title Match: Bobby Lashley would defend the title against Rob Van Dam. Despite the WWE trying to feed the fans their version of ECW, the fans want to see RVD as the ECW Champion. He is the most popular wrestler on the brand. He is arguably the best worker in the brand. Van Dam IS ECW, whether it be the He-man version or the WWE version. WrestleMania would be the time that I give the fans what they want; RVD winning the ECW title.

The rumored match for the SmackDown version of the World title is Batista vs. the Undertaker. It would be promoted as the title vs. the streak. While I’m not a big fan of Batista or the Dead Man, I love the fact that either the title will change hands or the Undertaker will lose his first WrestleMania match of his career. I would leave that match alone, and the Batista/Undertaker match would make my WrestleMania card.

The WWE World Title would feature John Cena battling Randy Orton. I would love to put Edge in this spot, as I believe he was snubbed from participating in last year’s WrestleMania main event. As much as I love the matches between Edge and John Cena, I like my WrestleMania main event to feature rare match-ups. John Cena and Randy Orton were the WWE’s chosen ones to lead the federation into the future. Whether you love him or hate him, John Cena has lived up to his part of the bargain. Sure, he isn’t a great worker. However, he is really good on the mic, gets a reaction by the crowd (whether its cheers or boos), and busts his butt for the company by working nearly every day of the year (when you include promotions and filming the WWE movie “The Marine”) Unfortunately, Randy Orton has not lived up to his full potential yet. He was on his way in 2004, but an ill-fated face turn took away any momentum that Randy had. Over the last couple of months, Orton joined Edge as part of Team Rated RKO. He stock is finally starting to rise again. Now can be the perfect time for the WWE to have their two stars of the future battle at WrestleMania today.