The Ripple Effect 1.26.07: Re-Casting ECW

I’m taking this class in theatre history currently; I like the subject material, it’s an upper division elective that helps me out and it doesn’t really sound too difficult. For class Tuesday, we were supposed to have read the entirety of “Oedipus the King” (better known to most as “Oedipus Rex”) and fill out a little form describing the different elements of the play. Since I was under the impression we would have to have this little sheet done beforehand, I went to class only to find out we were to actually do the sheet in class in groups of five.

I feel it necessary to explain something: I hate working in groups, at least in class. I understand the point of making people more efficient in group settings, but most of the time it’s really just an excuse for teachers to walk around saying “What have you guys found out?” So imagine my distaste at the knowledge that out of the five in our group, I was the only one to have read the fucking play.

What started out as me being ahead of the game turned into me telling these four people everything I could think of about the play, knowing I was helping them get the same grade I’d worked at least a little bit to get. When I mentioned the use of literary devices, one of them actually asked me if I was a drama major…because I read a play and can identify literary devices. These people are horseshit to me (metaphor).

On to wrestling, something much more pleasing, if nothing else because it’s Rumble time!

Reader Feedback

Only three pieces of e-mail this week…there are people out there who read the column right? I even made specific requests for feedback last week, and nothing. I guess people don’t click articles that aren’t one of the big three on the homepage. I want more interaction in the RE pronto!

Anyway, on to the short stack of feedback (unintentional rhyme).

First, from Elton Faulk, who takes my job away by critiquing one of the reader-submitted WM23 cards:

Gregory Helms vs. Cruiserweight Champion Jimmy Yang:

Raw Main Event: WWE Champion Edge vs. Shawn Michaels:
I’d have this in the midcard, as opposed to the main event, with Michaels getting the victory to cap off the remnants of the DX/RKO feud. Elsewhere, Randy Orton defeats John Cena for the WWE Title after winning the Royal Rumble (ditching Edge to fend for himself against HBK in the process.). With that said, here’s what I’d book:
Street Fight: Edge vs. HBK
Winner: HBK
WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena
Winner: Randy Orton (for the sake of Cena chasing the strap for a few months to avoid this reign going stale, AND to see the potential of a heel title run for Randy, with programs against Cena, HBK and a returning HHH)

Well brother, it looks like you’ve got the opinion department on lockdown with this one, so much so that I will withhold my comments. I mean, I did already give my thoughts on this card, so you already know what I think anyway. You’re ideas are cool though.

From Patrick Conley, who is the only one of you to comment on the breakout star of ’07 question:

Who do i think will be the breakout star of 2007? That sounded like an easy question, but as i sit in front of my computer at work, on the clock, i now know that it is not. And come payday, so will my boss. Cause im not leaving until i answer it. I might just do each brand if that is alright with you.

Raw is a whole other story. You know who it should be, Shelton Benjamin. But we all know thats not going to happen. I hope he wins Money In The Bank this year too. I think there is a possibility of it being either Nitro or Hardy, but this tag team stuff is just so good and i hope it doesnt end. Id like to see Orton with the belt, but since he has been a world champion before, im not sure he would fall into this catagory. The only other people i can think of are Carlito and Chris Masters, and i dont think Masters will be ready by the end of 07. Umaga, i think, would be a horrible champion. If they do give it to him, we’ll just have to see what happens. But Carlito i think has a shot. Hes starting to get more airtime and the crowd is behind him. So i know this is widespread but i can only narrow it down to Jeff, Nitro, Shelton, and Carlito. You know who they really missed the money train on though, Rob freaking Conway. I will love Conway in a comepletely heterosexual way until the day i die and I hope they bring him back in some form and capitalize on what he is capable of.

Thanks for being thorough, that’s for sure. I’m not sure Joe falls into the “breakout star” role anymore, simply because he’s been the true face of TNA for a while now (cemented by the Angle feud). However, my criterion was winning a first world title in ’07, and I’m fairly certain we’ll see that from Joe so I guess it does count. It’s really as good a pick as any.

Dude, I’m so confused by the concept of Kevin Thorn as a world champion in 2007 that I need to hear more of your ideas of how you would book such a thing. As for Punk, it might not be all wine and roses in the land of straight edge thanks to the little situation backstage. But I certainly hope he can overcome that; he’s the most over performer on the roster who wasn’t suspended last year, and the people love him.

I hope that when you mentioned Regal as a candidate you either a) aren’t making actual PREDICTIONS, and b) can hold your breath for a very long time. I’d be plum tickled to death (to borrow from my grandfather) if Regal got a world strap, but it’s just not going to happen. Kennedy is definitely the more likely choice, although I wish he could get some more experience before being thrust into the main event.

Your thoughts about Raw reflect the overall unstable roster I think. There’s a nice core group of established main eventers (Cena, HBK, HHH, Orton, Edge), a group of guys knocking on the door but often directionless (Carlito, Masters, Flair) and guys who have the goods but won’t make their way to the main event for any discernable amount of time (Shelton, Hardy, Nitro). I can see how difficult it must be to pick a first-time world champ out of that group. Your picks are as good as mine would’ve been.

Finally, from Tony From Brooklyn, who has a convenient middle name, unless of course he lives outside Brooklyn.

I got a couple of Questions for you;

Personally would take WcW 2001 Invasion Roster over The current ECW roster any day, I know the Invasion angle was weak but I think you could have built an actual show with that talent. Other than the guys Vince didn’t release, EcW roster looks weak, and Raw and Smackdown talent just kill these guys whenever they do cross promotional shows, And even though he did not single handily kill WcW, Stone Cold Steve Austin was the gun used when killing it, the Face of the attitude era on the WcW roster as a heel! the storyline write themselves.

I remember back when WCW guys first starting showing up on Raw and SD. They were really touting that they were going to have separate WCW portions of the show, and when that failed they just took the easy way out and made it all about McMahons and WWE guys. I still think they set it up to fail, because the first match they decided to put on had fucking Buff Bagwell in it.

Honestly, I would take the new ECW over a rehash of WCW. First off, the time that’s passed since ECW shut down has given the show a “tribute” feel to it, at least in the beginning; that would not have been the vibe in a Vince-controlled WCW. Also, WWE guys are more used to dealing with “extreme” storylines than they are wrestling-oriented ones that made WCW unique. I’m fairly confident they would’ve destroyed the WCW name much more decisively and thoroughly than they are the ECW one now.

Thanks to everyone who sent it stuff, and please keep them coming!

YouTube Wrestling Video of the Week

It took me a while to jump on the YouTube bandwagon, but when I first realized I could watch some awesome old school wrestling videos on it I wondered how I ever went without it. If you look hard enough, you can find some of your favorite matches, awesome promos, even embrassing moments (I actually watched the Mae Young birth sequence…don’t ask me why). Here’s where I encourage all of you to indulge in the pure nostalgic bliss you get from watching shit like this.

The YouTube Wrestling Video of the Week is:

!~ Backlund’s reaction!!! ~!

This is from a WWWF show (I guess from the late seventies/early eighties) that saw Peter Maivia turn on Arnold Skaaland and the legendary Bob Backlund. Now I’ve seen some pretty intense tirades in my lifetime, but I’ve never seen anyone lose it so decisively and entertainingly as Backlund does in this video. He just flips his fucking lid, screaming out “Why did this happen?!” like he just saw his dog get run over. It’s so awesomely over the top that it’s not worth missing. And Vince is even there at ringside, trying his best not to break character.

I’ve never had much exposure to Backlund’s work in my days as a wrestling fan (until I bought the WWE title DVD, I wasn’t really for sure what he looked like), but I became a fan after watching his stuff. His character was very endearing, and I can understand why everyone loved him so much.

Recasting WWE

As I was watching SmackDown last week, I got to thinking about something that’s bothered me for a long time. When the brand split first came around, the focus of the split eventually became making Raw and SmackDown two different kinds of show. Raw was clearly more “sports entertainment” based, and SD emphasized the wrestling product above everything else. Nowhere was this more apparent than the now-legendary “SD Six” era that produced great matches and really set the brands apart. In more recent years, that idea has gone down the toilet and we generally get the same mixture of styles and characters on each show. Here’s where I try to rectify that!

For the next three weeks of the RE, I will take every wrestler/performer/diva/manager currently listed on WWE.com and redraft them to whatever show I think they would fit most on. I’ll reveal the new cast of each show each week; we start with ECW, work our way to SD and finish with the new members of Monday Night Raw.

Things to keep in mind:

1) I am taking into account the fact that ECW only has one hour of TV time per week. That is, I’m trying to stay away from overloading the roster while at the same time giving them more star power than they have now. The sad truth is they don’t even have the performers to hold the audience’s attention for an hour, but I’m attempting to remedy that by utilizing some key talent.
2) Many of the people currently on the ECW roster are staying right where they are. For obvious reasons, most of the ECW stars pretty much belong with ECW, so there will be relatively few surprises as to the final roster. There will be some though!
3) Along wth this roster shuffling comes the reinstatement of the ECW Television title. A lot of people have been clamoring for this one, and I think the fans deserve it. One of the main things that’s hurt ECW is the fact that most of the matches don’t mean anything. Adding this title to the mid-card would help that a great deal.

That said, let’s get on with the roster of the RE’s ECW brand!

We’ll start off with the current ECW guys who would stay put…

Tommy Dreamer – Not only has he been on the premier advocates of ECW since its collapse, but he’s been an entertaining performer in the new ECW. Seriously, it would pretty dumb to move Tommy away from the only environment in which he thrives. He just has a credibility under the ECW name that disappears on Raw or SD, despite his good run with the Hardcore title in 2002. Few will argue that Tommy Dreamer is on the right brand.

Hardcore Holly – From the moment the Internet heard Holly was coming back from injury, the new ECW seemed like the perfect fit. He may not be the greatest hardcore wrestler ever, but he fights stiffer than the King at a cheerleading competition. He’s amassed more credibility in ECW, with the now-famous back gash and a convincing win over CM Punk, than he ever would’ve had they put him on one of the “big” shows. Sparky can stay right where he is.

Balls Mahoney – For some reason, lots of wrestling fans have a soft spot for ol’ Balls. Funny thing is that he was never a very serious threat in the old ECW, and now he’s outlasted plenty of his contemporaries who went to the chopping block. I think there’s some fun to be had with a feud between Balls and a mega-annoying heel (Matt Striker perhaps). And let’s face it, he’d drown on the other two shows; the Balls are totally on the right wall.

CM Punk – It’s monumentally disappointing that Punk got in trouble backstage, because he was most definitely WWE’s fastest rising star before it. He’s kind of become a symbol of the new ECW, and it’d be a shame to let that go just because someone wanted to expose him to a bigger audience. Assuming he can stay out of Double A’s shithouse, Punk in many ways IS ECW and should stay on the little brand that still could.

Stevie Richards – The more I think about Stevie’s career, the more ass I think he must’ve kissed over the years to still be collecting a paycheck despite never wrestling…ever. If you have to assign Stevie to one brand, though, it’d definitely be the one that made him famous. It seems like Stevie’s career as a marketable talent is over, but I still think he has good feuds in him yet, if they give him a chance. Until then, we’ll keep his picture on the website.

Sabu – I didn’t become a wrestling fan until 1998, and I never once watched a full broadcast of anything ECW did. So as you can imagine, I didn’t know what exactly to think of Sabu upon his arrival in TNA, then WWE. But I became a fan; he just carries this cool energy with him that makes people react. His career in the new ECW might be a little fucked, but I hope both parties can get over things enough to let Sabu do the cool shit Sabu often does. He’s definitely in the right place.

The Sandman – For much the same reasons that Sabu and Dreamer just don’t belong anywhere else, the drunken cane-wielding bastard doesn’t need to go anywhere. I was kind of into his feud with Striker until they forgot about it for two months. I think he can be a valuable asset to the brand with the ECW credibility he has and the chance for him to give others that credibility. Just make sure there are enough beer cans to get that skull good and cracked everytime.

Matt Striker – When WWE decided to move Striker to ECW, it was the first hint that ECW would not just be a nostalgia brand but a chance for guys who wouldn’t get TV exposure on Monday nights to let the nation see them. Paul Heyman made some appropriate alterations to his wardrobe and made the “evil teacher” gimmick work to some extent; the question is whether he can maintain the gimmick now that less clever people are behind it. Let’s hope so.

Kevin Thorn – Do you honestly see a guy like Kevin Thorn coming out on a Raw stage. This kind of character thrives in the ECW environment in a different way than in would in the other brands. We’ll get to another example of that later. Thorn definitely has his place on the ECW roster and should stay put. Now let’s just focus on getting him over!

Rob Van Dam – Since the brand split, both Raw and SmackDown have developed their “icon” or cornerstone of sorts. For Raw it’s HHH, for SmackDown it’s Taker and for ECW it’s RVD. Or at least it would be had he not completely fucked up his big chance. He’s been the symbol of the ECW vibe since it folded, and his popularity I argue is one of the main reasons the brand even exists. It would take a real dumbfuck to come up with a reason why RVD should be on Raw or SD.

Trinity, Kelly Kelly, Ariel and Rebecca – All the ECW divas get to stay put! For some reason, the girls of the extreme brand seem to fit the atmosphere very well. Each of them has something unique: Ariel has her freaky chick thing, Kelly has the nakedness and the age thing, Trinity has those fucking outfits, and Rebecca…is also hot. I would say the best way to use these girls is to have Trinity be a valet for someone, have Kelly keep doing her hot youngster thing and keep Ariel and Rebecca where they are.

Now we’ll move on those who will become ECW newcomers if I had my way. We’ll start with Raw superstars, since there’s only one…

Jeff Hardy – I can imagine a lot of people won’t like this choice, since he’s doing so well on Raw right now. But I think Jeff would be best suited for a run in the new ECW because of the very thing that’s gotten him: the glass ceiling. If given a good push in ECW, I strongly believe Jeff could get his hands on his first WWE world championship. He would have some stiff competiton but not nearly as stiff as on Raw or SD. And he of course possessed the “extreme” nature about him, making him a prime choice for a new ECW cornerstone.

Onto SmackDown stars being pulled over to Tuesday nights…

Chris Benoit – One of the hardest things I’ve had to face as a wrestling fan over the past couple of years is that Benoit’s not going to get another big run with a world title. Now the focus is obviously what he can do for the company while still active. I think that can be best accomplished with ECW. Not only is he an old ECW guy already, but he would be able to add some credibility and true veteran presence. And because ECW isn’t doing house shows anymore, it’d be a smart move for his health, which isn’t getting any better through the years.

The Boogeyman – Speaking of outlandish characters thriving in ECW, we have the worm eater himself arriving in ECW. I wouldn’t exactly call what Boogey does “extreme” but it definitely feels like it would go over better in ECW. His act just seems out of place on the relatively wrestling-heavy SD. And can you imagine Thorn vs. Boogey? Ariel would fucking LOVE the worms!

Chavo Guerrero – This case is a lot like Hardcore Holly’s. Chavo’s gotten a chance to get over on both big brands and has failed every time. He’s had a pretty good run this last time on SD, but they just haven’t had the faith in him to give him a second-tier title. That tells me he’d be better off in other pastures, and that’s where ECW comes in. He can still do good things in the ring, and he still has a good amount of credibility with him. I definitely think his career would be better off if he went to Tuesdays.

Matt Hardy – Yes, both members of Team Extreme are moving to the land of extreme. Some people are going to argue that putting both Hardys on a show with no tag titles seems pretty stupid, but here’s why it’s not. This way, both Hardys can have an ally, someone who’ll have their back when getting ambushed by cowardly heels. It’s a fact: they’re much better together than they are apart. Matt could get a boost, even in the singles department, by having Jeff around. And ECW is just the environment that could allow MH v.3 to emerge into a superstar.

Kane – A lot of the reason why the Big Show was such a fitting ECW champion is because you could tell he was getting an opportunity he wouldn’t have gotten had he stayed on Raw or gone back to SD. I think Kane fits this category too. Besides his one-day run with the belt almost nine years ago, the Big Red Monster hasn’t had a fair run at the very top; ECW seems like a great place to Kane to dominate and scare the hell out of everyone with a new vigor. Inferno Matches would make more sense anyway.

Jamie Noble – To most it would appear the best place for Noble would be on SD where he would get a chance to fight with the cruisers. Unfortunately, his ship has sailed and it’s going to take some major change to get Gibson over with the WWE crowd again. I think his redneck character would work well in ECW, which seems to be the place for simplistic yet entertaining gimmicks these days. I could even see him forming a team with Balls…get a southern belle hottie to be their manager and they’re all set. It’s better than how he’s being used on SD.

Joey Mercury – Smart money would be on drafting Joey with Nitro so they can build heat together with Melina. But I don’t think it’s in the cards for MNM to continue much longer, so Mercury is a better fit here. This is one of those instances where I would suggest a name change (more of which will come in the coming weeks) back to Joey Matthews. Nitro’s inherited the Hollywood gimmick, and it doesn’t really belong to Joey anymore. Let him craft his own character, and we’ll see how extreme land takes to the “man of 1,000 stitches.”

There’s your new ECW roster ladies and gentlemen! By my count, that’s 18 contracted wrestlers and four divas, which is about what they’ve got now. I definitely think this would be a stronger roster that would put ECW on the way to gaining equality…maybe. Feel free to share your thoughts about the list!

Class Dismissed

You guys have no idea how much I longed for those words Tuesday. It’s been a pretty long week, but I hope I’ve put out a good column to cap it off. I’ll be on the campus of Texas Tech University this weekend, so any Red Raider RE fans give me a holler!

Next week, we’ll take a look at the new roster of the big blue brand, Friday Night SmackDown! There’s going to be a few surprises, a few non-surprises and hopefully lots of debate.