Just S’pose 2.11.07

Mathew Sforcina is taking a break from his “Evolution Schematic” column? I don’t know what to think of these people who decide not to post for weeks at a time. On the one hand, take time to recharge. On the other hand, show some pride and suck it up. On the third hand, I’m so proud that my baby birdie left the nest and took his own vacation.

If TNA can have six sides on their ring, I can have three hands!

Leave me alone.

Don’t judge me!

Oh, heck. Let’s just go to the main content stuff.

I AIN’T HESITATIN’ TO PUT YOU IN THE FUNERAL HOME

“I HOPE THAT *%!!$%$(& DIES!!!” screamed an unrepentant New Jack to the crowd in Massachusetts. He and partner Mustafa of Da Gangstas just, in New Jack’s words, “stabbed the $#!+ outta that white boy,” Mass Transit. Mass Transit, aka Erich Kulas, laid in the ring, bleeding profusely and not moving.

New Jack continued to walk through the crowd, exchanging high fives with the crowd, while ECW Damage Control worked on Mass Transit. Suddenly, two people in the ring motioned frantically for the ring announcer. They yelled something to him, and he frantically yelled into the public address system, “WE NEED HELP OUT HERE!”

Seconds later, three EMT’s, dressed differently from Damage Control, ran to the ring with equipment. One of them charged up a defibrillator while another found the proper placement on the 400-pound youngster. The third called for an ambulance to come to the building. A hush fell over the crowd. New Jack, who a moment ago was playing to the crowd, rushed to the ring, very concerned for the well-being of the young man in the ring. Kulas’ father, who was screaming “He’s only 17!” during the entire match, was in the ring, holding his son’s hand. The ropes were disconnected from the ring posts, and a gurney was wheeled into the ring. About a minute later, Kulas was placed on the gurney, and was wheeled into the ambulance, which sped to the nearest hospital.

Fifteen minutes later, after the next match, the ring announcer suddenly announced the night of wrestling was over, before the three main events. The crowd refused to leave the building, knowing there were still three matches scheduled. People started to whisper, then speak out loud, speculations on why the card was suddenly stopped. The next day, confirmation was printed on the front page of the newspaper. Erich Kulas was dead.

In the reality we know, Erich Kulas’s parents sued ECW and New Jack, and criminal charges were filed against New Jack. New Jack was acquitted of all charges, and he returned to wrestle in ECW, carrying around a big sign during the next pay per view which read, “NOT GUILTY.” Kulas recovered from the brutal stabbing, in which blood shot from his forehead like a fountain, partially due to his own actions of holding his breath and puffing out his cheeks so the blood would flow more freely. Kulas would be found dead in his home in 2002, almost six years later, at the age of 22. But, Just S’pose Mass Transit Died in the Ring. What might have happened?

The next day, New Jack turned himself in to the local police, accompanied by ECW owner Paul Heyman and Heyman’s attorneys. Heyman turned in all official videos of the match, and also brought in several witnesses from the locker room the night before. All of them told the police what was supposed to happen during the match, including Kulas bleeding. When Kulas told New Jack he had never “bladed” before, New Jack offered to do it for him, but when the time came, Kulas jerked away from the blade New Jack used, and the cut was much bigger than intended. Detectives told New Jack to stay in town for a couple days. Three days later, Jerome Young, aka New Jack, was arrested and charged with manslaughter in the death of Erich Kulas.

Heyman himself had a major problem. He felt for Kulas’ father, who watched his son die. However, both of them had lied to him about the extent of Erich’s training and his age. If Heyman knew the truth, there is no way he would have put that kid in the ring with Da Gangstas, if at all. He knew that, as matchmaker and the person ultimately responsible for placing him in the ring, he could be facing prison time, as well.

Aside from legal problems, though, was the situation with the well-being of his company. In the four days since Kulas’ death, the pay per view scheduled for January 1997 had been cancelled by In Demand. Without pay per view access, it would be almost impossible to increase the public’s awareness of his company. ECW videotapes were the hottest commodities among Internet tape traders, and thousands of fans who could not make it to a show in Philadelphia, New York, Massachusetts, or Florida were eager to see ECW live. The best way to do that was on pay per view, and that avenue was now closed to them.

Almost as quickly as the news spread of the cancellation of the show, fans wrote In Demand to ask, plead, beg, and demand the show be rescheduled for pay per view. The company considered putting the show back on the schedule. When Kulas’ attorneys heard this, they sent a videotape of what became known as the “Mass Transit Incident” to In Demand officials, and ECW’s pay per view debut, “Barely Legal,” was permanently cancelled.

Within two weeks of the “Incident,” Paul Heyman was told by police he would not be charged with any crime. Now that his personal legal problems were behind him, it was time to concentrate on rescuing his company. With the news, ECW shows were cancelled for the rest of their New England/New York tour. The building known worldwide as ECW Arena was now the only place in the world that had not cancelled a show.

Before the next show, the following notice was placed on ECWwrestling.com:

+++++++++++++++++++++

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you with this message.

As you have heard by now, Jerome “New Jack” Young was recently arrested in Revere, Massachusetts and charged with second degree manslaughter in connection with the death of a young man, Erich Kulas, during a match in Revere. If found guilty, Young will face a mandatory three years in prison. We here in ECW will continue to support New Jack, and we sincerely believe in his innocence in this matter.

After news of this unfortunate death and arrest, several ECW shows have been cancelled. None of these shows have been cancelled by ECW management. While we are upset with the decisions of the arenas in question, we understand their concerns.

As of this moment, Extreme Championship Wrestling will suspend operations until further notice. No matter how many reasons I can give you that this is the right thing to do, and no matter how many reasons others can give me for doing this, I still feel, in my heart, that this is wrong.

To all ECW fans, all over the world, I sincerely apologize. At the same time, though, I make you this promise: as soon as it is possible, Extreme Championship Wrestling will return.

This is NOT the last you have heard of the Tribe of Extreme!

Paul Heyman

+++++++++++++++++++++

During ECW’s hiatus, all ECW wrestlers under contract were given permission to wrestle elsewhere. Sabu returned to FMW in Japan. The Dudley Boys got brief tryouts with the WWF before settling in Memphis. Meanwhile, Rob Van Dam, Taz, Stevie Richards, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Shane Douglas, The Eliminators and Raven went to WCW and started their own stable, in competition with both WCW’s main stable of wrestlers and the New World Order. Eric Bischoff wanted to call the group “The Tribe of Extreme,” until he found the name was trademarked by Heyman. Instead, they were known as “The Hard Corps.” Eventually, they were joined by Chris Benoit, Eddy Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Chris Jericho, all men who held ECW titles at one time but had since become lost in the WCW shuffle.

In June 1998, Jerome Young was found not guilty on all charges. He was thankful to the court and the jury, but saved most of his gratefulness for Paul Heyman. “This man basically lost everything, simply because he believed in me. I know I can never pay back this man for all he has done for me. I don’t know what else I can say. Paulie, thank you.”

When wrestling fans around the world saw the video of Heyman at the post-trial press conference, they couldn’t believe it was him. The “Psycho Yuppie” had lost about sixty pounds, was very pale, and looked much older than he was. When a reporter asked him about the future of ECW, Heyman shrugged his shoulders and said, “Your guess is as good as mine right now.” One week later, whenever people went to ECWwrestling.com, instead of seeing Heyman’s promise to return, the homepage simply read, “THANK YOU.”

At WCW’s Bash at the Beach 1998 from San Diego, Shane Douglas was wrestling Dallas Page for the vacant United States title, when a very familiar person went to ringside. After Douglas won the match and the title, he entered the ring.

“My name is Paul Heyman. I told you people not to worry! In 1996, I warned everyone that the Tribe of Extreme would rise again. Well, here it is, July 1998, and good things come to those who wait. Extreme Championship Wrestling itself may not return, but Extreme Wrestling will live forever!”

With that, the entire membership of The Hard Corps ran to the ring to celebrate with Shane and Paul. Heyman managed to get them cleared of the ring, except for Perry Saturn and John Kronus. “Sting! Nash! You men have a date with the most devastating tag team in years: The Eliminators! Get your asses out here… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!”

WCW tag team champions Sting and Kevin Nash walked out to the ring with a confused look on their faces. They were ready for the match, but not quite ready for the crowd around the ring, or for Paul Heyman to be there. After seventeen minutes, The Eliminators were the new WCW Tag Team champions.

Later in the night, after Hollywood Hogan and Dennis Rodman beat Diamond Dallas page and Karl Malone in a lackluster main event, the nWo stormed the ring. Suddenly, the Hard Corps — now legally known as “The Tribe of Extreme” — charged the ring. In the middle of the brawl, “Natural Born Killaz” blared from the sound system, and New Jack rolled a shopping cart full of plunder to the ring, passed around the objects, and walked around the outside of the ring carrying a sign that read, “NOT GUILTY.” nWo wrestlers were littered around the ring. WCW wrestlers came out to celebrate, but they, too, were beaten down by The Tribe. The three-way war for the future of WCW was on.

Rob Van Dam, who years before wrestled as “Robbie V” on WCW television, challenged Hollywood Hogan for the WCW World title at Fall Brawl 1998, and won it after interference (on both sides) by Eric Bischoff, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Scott Steiner, Scott Norton, Buff Bagwell, Paul Heyman, Shane Douglas, Taz, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Raven, and New Jack. Douglas hit the final shot, punching Hogan in the face with a chain around his fist, before Van Dam hit the Five Star Frog Splash.

After the match, WCW wrestlers Diamond Dallas Page, Sting, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Jim Neidhart, Lex Luger, Roddy Piper, and Ernest Miller hit the ring and attacked Tribe and nWo wrestlers. The last two men standing were Van Dam and Bret Hart, who challenged Van Dam for the title the next night on “WCW Monday Nitro.”

The battle for supremacy on WCW continued until Starrcade 1999. Every match was a three-way elimination match, and the surviving man/team in each match would earn one point for his faction. The group with the most points at the end of the night would win two things: One, members of the winning group could demand title shots at any time until February 29, 2000, and two, they would have the right to ban either of the other factions (with the exception of title holders) for one year. WCW won the night when Goldberg beat Scott Steiner and Shane Douglas to win the WCW title in the main event. The following night, Goldberg and other WCW wrestlers banned nWo from competing in WCW rings until December 31, 2000.

The Monday Night War, on the other hand, had been over for months. “WCW Monday Nitro” regularly scored ratings of 6.5 or better, while “WWF Monday Night Raw” ratings had been stuck around 3.5 for the past year. Nothing could swing the ratings the other way, right?

On February 14, 2000, after a match between Crash Holly and Essa Rios on “WWF Monday Night Raw,” the opening guitar riff from Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Chile” blared from the sound system…

AHHHHHH, SMELL THAT VOODOO CHILI

Hope that works for you, because it certainly works for me. Why won’t someone hire me for their booking team?

Anyway, I’ll see you next week with another tale of woe and greed, or at least a tale.