The MeeThinks Saturday Spectacular 2.10.07

Like we said above, TONS of news this week — so let’s get it started!

WWE News

Sources Speculate RVD Gave Notice to WWE
Wrestling Observer Thinks Van Dam is Van-Done with WWE

Last week’s Wrestling Observer newsletter has begun speculating that the reason why RVD lost cleanly to Hardcore Holly last week is because “Mr. Pay-Per-View” himself has likely submitted his notice to the WWE brass to let them know that he won’t be re-signing with the company when his contract expires this summer.

The observer speculates that Van Dam gave his notice since RVD’s recent loss to Hardcore Holly looked to be more a case of Van Dam “putting over” Holly than Rob being in the doghouse (like CM Punk’s loss to Matt Striker). Couple that with the fact that Van Dam has conveniently been left out of the ECW vs. Vince storyline, PLUS the fact that (so say eyewitnesses) even RVD’s wife was cheering for Van Dam to jump ship to TNA at a live WWE Pay-Per-View? And just like that, we’re staring at all sorts of “outlook not good” for Van Dam’s remaining days with WWE.

Now then, MeeThinks on the fall of Rob Van Dam?

“Good riddance.”

Two weeks ago, Van Dam and Kevin Thorne were BLATANTLY calling their spots to one another loud enough that the television cameras caught just about every other sentence they exchanged (a personal favorite was when Thorney muttered “come up onto me and I’ll try and throw you out over the top!”). Then on LAST WEEK’s ECW on SciFi broadcast? Our pal R-V-D once again telegraphed the big finish of his matchup against Hardcore Holly, this time totally phoning in his setup for the Five Star (missed) Frogsplash by calling out Holly’s name and getting the man’s attention so that he’d know to be in position to avoid the maneuver once Van Dam scaled the turnbuckles (ahh, the glories of pause-and-rewind TiVo).

In short?

Vince McMahon didn’t “screw” Rob Van Dam, ROB VAN DAM screwed Rob Van Dam. Sure, it was only weed — but guess what? You’re *THE* single most spotlighted performer in the company. If you can’t curtail your personal indiscretions for the sake of your employer? Then suck-tastic though it might be, you simply *don’t deserve* to be the company guy upon whom your employer is placing the burden of their trust (and hopes for financial success).

Yes, it was “glass ceiling,” “politics” and backstabbing behind the scenes that kept RVD bottled up in the WWE midcard ever since the infancy of the InVasion storyline… but after SIX years of plodding through all that nonsense and naysayers and FINALLY scoring himself a shot with the WWE’s richest prize? Guess who caved under the pressure, dropped the ball and blew his single best shot at proving all the critics wrong? Why it’s…

R-V-D.

So if our pal Cheech lost early in the Elimination Chamber, he’s got nobody to blame but himself. If Bobby Bongwater is so bitter about jobbing in a scripted PPV contest that he couldn’t have bothered to take a few seconds prior to the match to ask his wife to steer clear of any involvement with the cheers asking him to join up with a rival promotion? Don’t blame the ‘E, blame RVD. If Tommy Chong over here is all bent out of shape that his involvement in any future storylines was put on “probation?” Once again, just take a quick look in the mirror to see who’s at fault for that one. And if he’s enough of a pissant crybaby to blatantly “phone it in” on all of his TV matches while he blames Vince, Hunter, the cops, six years of backstage politics, and EVERYONE ELSE but himself for the trainwreck that has been his career *since* dropping the WWE and ECW titles in one night? Once again, our little bud-dy is reaping what he’s sewn — and nobody to blame for this stickiest of the icky situations than good old R-V-D.

Now should TNA sign him? Absolutely. Huge name with a built-in fanbase, and a surefire bump (in the short-term, at least) for the company’s ratings.

But should TNA push him to the moon? Absolutely not. He’s niether proven trustworthy when given the opportunity to run with the ball NOR has he proven professional when the ball was taken away from him. And if that’s the kind of guy you’re looking to build your upstart wrestling company around? Sorry fans, but RVD ain’t it. There’s rarely a shortcut to success, you know.

Heck, TNA shouldn’t even give him a live microphone on which he’ll undoubtedly be given carte blanche to rip on his former employer. You know why? Because in the end, all his talk of backstage politicking, power plays and ego trips ruling the WWE locker rooms might be well and good (heck, even true!)… but when it comes right down to that infamous question of “who’s fault is it that RVD failed as World Champion?” Looks like there’s two big thumbs pointing right back square to the shoulders of none other than R-V-D.

Hulkster Not Likely For WrestleMania 23
“Thunderlips” Goes “Loose Lips” on Radio Show & Torpedoes ‘Mania Plans

If you haven’t been following this ongoing media circus, it boils down to this: Hulk showed up on his good buddy Bubba the Love Sponge’s radio program a few weeks back, and Bubba & Co. thought it’d be a piss to air a phonecall between The Hulkster and Vinny Mac’s personal secretary LIVE over the airwaves. Vince got word that this all went down, and in a (understandably justified) snit — he nixed all plans to do bidness with Hogan for this year’s WrestleMania, where rumors had it that Hulk would be siding with Donald Trump to take on some combination of Vince and/or Shane McMahon and/or The Great Khali.

Whew.

So what does this teach us?

1) Vince McMahon takes his “Hall of Fame” seriously, and — as a wrestling fan — I’m quite impressed by that, actually. It’s not like Hogan was just spilling the beans on some fly-by-night secret here, folks. He was effectively giving away the results of some of the most “prestigious” and well-guarded “accolades” that a guy like Vinny Mac has left, given the overly-scripted nature of his business. And sure, while Vince is likely a bit pissed because Hogan tipping his hand effectively costs WWE some much needed “surprise” value, there’s probably also something a bit frustrating to Vince & Co. in this whole matter in that Hulk tried (once again) to “put himself (and his buddy’s radio show) over” at the expense of the overall good of the business.

So “kudos” to Vince for having taken a stand to show he’s serious about keeping the Hall as special and well-respected as is possible in a pseudo-sport with wrestling zombies, cannibals, mental patients, vampires, and the rest. It’s small stuff like this that tell you no matter HOW crazy, tactless and “irreverent” McMahon might be at times — he actually does have quite a fair bit of “respect” for the industry and its performers.

2) If Hogan *is* in fact gone from the Trump program at ‘Mania (but Vince and Donald still decide to go through with the thing), Hogan’s spot as The Donald’s in-ring protege. Though *any* in-ring performer likely won’t have the same “casual non-wrestling-fan” appeal as Hulkster, wrestling fans can rejoice knowing that *regardless* of who takes Hulk’s place (well, maybe not Snitsky…), you’re almost GUARANTEED to have a better in-ring showing than if Hollywood was doing his thing in their place. So it’s not the end of the world, and it looks like one man’s loss is another man’s gain.

2a) This just in — PWI is reporting that Bobby Lashley will likely be brought in to the Trump/McMahon feud in Hogan’s place. Believe it or not, this is even better news — because Shane sells for his opponents like CRAZY, and he’s got a pretty good track record of making people care about even the LEAST charismatic of performers when duty calls (see: Test, Steve Blackman, etc.). PLUS, busying Lashley in the Trump/McMahon feud means that the ECW title won’t likely be up for grabs at WrestleMania 23 — and given the fact that the number one contender for said belt was likely to be (of all people) GENE SNITSKY? Probably no worse off if the title defense is skipped in favor of giving Lashley the rub from a storyline directly involving the main event hubbub likely to be brought about by The Donald and Vinny Mac.

3) Bubba The Love Sponge is an idiot, because his biggest cash cow is Hulk Hogan — and if Hulk is in the WWE doghouse? TNA talk can only go so far before people stop paying attention to Hulkster once he’s out of the WWE’s limelight. Let’s face it, folks, even though Hogan was “no spring chicken” back when he jumped ship to WCW a decade or so ago — he was a full TEN (+) YEARS YOUNGER at the time, and much of his “star power” for the rival company could still be put on display in a weekly in-ring product for Vince’s competitor. That’s simply not the case in 2007, and while yes, if Hogan jumped to TNA fans would undoubtedly tune in to see what all the buzz was about — the bottom line is that Hulk’s in-ring time would be reserved for “special event” status only (as in, less in-ring work than even The Undertaker sees these days)… and TNA wouldn’t be able to hang their hat on “we’ve got Hogan!” if all the man could do was step in the ring four, maybe five times a year tops.

Who’s In The Dog House? M-N-uh…? SUPER CRAZY?!?
Crazy Gets a Push While Nitro and Melina Sent a Wake Up Call

F4wOnline.com is reporting that Super Crazy is in line for a “comedy push” (kinda’ like Eugene a few years ago), while Nitro and Melina are the latest additions to the WWE doghouse. Good for Crazy, sez I — as comedy pushes to midcard semi-stardom are likely to be just about as much as a guy of his caliber should expect.

On the flip side, however, it seems that Melina has stepped on some all-important toes backstage, and somebody from the ‘E wound up none too pleased with her diva antics. Seeing as how both she and Nitro continue to be among the most effective (and effortless) heels on the RAW roster, though — I wouldn’t worry too much about either of these folks just yet. Let’s face it, folks, just like our real-life spats with coworkers and employers across the board, wrestlers tend to find themselves pretty much in-and-out of the good graces of the booking committee on almost a daily basis. File this one under “no big deal,” or — if you’re a die-hard Bush supporter — “terror alert green.”

Now as for CARLITO being in the WWE doghouse, however…

Carlito Buried On WWE Television
Flair’s ‘No Ambition’ Promo Designed to Light a Fire Under Triple C

Apparently, much of the promo Ric Flair cut on Carlito during this past Monday night’s raw was penned by WWE Creative Team member Brian Gerwitz, who allegedly was working “mostly off of notes from the agent reports of Carlito matches.” Long story short? Management feels that Carlito has been getting lazy and just going through the motions as of late, and even though he continues to be a draw and a merchandising cash cow, his attitude is lousy and his progress in the ring has stalled.

Nothing more to add except that heck, even if WWE is going about things here in the most “tough love” of ways — we’ve got to remember, they’re STILL putting valuable time, effort, talent and television time into giving the guy another shot (even if it is an uphill battle of one) to make a dent in the upper-midcard. Can’t blame Carlito for feeling sore when his mobility stalled on account of the dX/Rated RKO/McMahons/etc. logjam of a main event picture, but then again — no point crying over spilt milk when there’s PLENTY of money and main event success to be gained FOR YEARS TO COME if only Carlito can lose the chip on his shoulder and shrug off that RVD-esque “whatever” attitude.

So yeah, it’s a rude awakening. But it’s a wake up call none the less. Here’s hoping Carlito doesn’t hit the snooze button and miss what could easily be his best chance at success to date.

By the way, in case you missed RAW this week — thanks to the wonders of TiVo — I was actually able to transcribe the Carlito/Flair altercation in its entirety. Easily my pick for promo of the year thus far, and once again, a tremendous example of why Ric Flair is, was, and continues to be “The Man.” Enjoy:

Flair: Hey where you goin?

Carlito: Hey, Me and Torrie — we’re goin’ out.

Flair: Goin’ *out?* Didn’t you lose your match tonight?

Carlito: Yeah, but ya’ know… he cheated or somethin. It’s cool…

Flair: It’s “cool?” You realize there’s a Triple Threat Main Event match goin’ on tonight live on RAW to see who goes to WrestleMania? You’re tellin’ me it’s cool you’re leavin?! You’re not gonna’ stay and watch the show?!?

Carlito: Carlito’s not in the main event, so what do I care?

Flair: Didja’ ever stop to think that there’s a reason why guys like you — and I’m talkin’ about GUYS LIKE YOU — are NOT in the main event? That’s right, WHY you’re NOT IN THE MAIN EVENT?!? Because maybe, you’re a LAZY, underachievin’ son of a bitch, lucky to be walkin’ the halls of this building. Lucky to be on the Raw Roster! LUCKY TO BE HERE AT ALL! You’re really pissin’ me off right now!

Carlito: ‘The hell’s your problem?!

Flair: My problem? I’ll tell you what my problem is. GUYS LIKE YOU that have NO PASSION… NO GUTS! You know, for all the money that you want, all the glory that you want, you wanna’ fly first class, you wanna’ walk around with someone like her [gestures to Torrie]? YOU DON’T DESERVE IT. Ya haven’t WORKED for it. You haven’t bled, sweat, and paid the price to be here. THAT’s what drives me crazy. I’m walkin’ this hall tryin’ to figure out why guys like YOU are takin’ MY spot!?! YEAH!!! Guys like YOU are takin’ MY spot! I’ve been here FOREVER. And I’m gonna’ work my ass off to stay here. McMahon told me today that if I wanna’ stay I gotta’ prove it to him. You wanna’ stay? You gotta’ prove it to YOURSELF. It’s not ‘cool,’ it’s PATHETIC. PATHETIC!!! I’m walkin’ around tryin’ to figure out what my name is, and you’re LEAVIN? Before the main event?!? Yeah, ME! Sometimes I walk around, tryin’ to figure out WHO I AM… and the whole Goddamned place knows who I am. Except ME sometimes… and you’re leavin?

[Flair turns his back towards Carlito and walks away in disgust]

Just awesome from start to finish. Brilliant work by Flair, and kudos to Gerwitz and the agents for giving the Nature Boy some killer material to work with.

Dusty Rhodes Joins ECW Creative Team
Former Smackdown! Booker Makes an EXTREME Switch

Well, we reported on this one last week, so it’s not all that “new” or “shocking” at this point, in my humble estimation. And, like I said last week, Smackdown! has been aces for the past few months (whereas ECW has been Ballz… and no, I don’t mean “Mahoney”), so if “big brother” WWE decided that enough was enough and felt the need to add some much-needed wrestling knowhow to the booking committee of Extreme? More power to ’em, sez I. Smackdown! is in fine shape with Michael Hayes at the helm, and the clock is ticking on ECW’s chance to steer its “sinking ship” back on course before SciFi gets the chance to pull the plug on the program in December of this year.

So like I said last week, might suck for Smackdown! for now, but they’ll survive without Dusty. ECW, on the other hand, might *not* — so better to shake things up NOW while there’s still something left to save, if you wheeeeeeeeeeeeel.

Roddy Piper On The Mend
Hot Rod Tells WWE.com That Cancer Treatment is “Going Well”

Good to hear that Roddy is feeling healthy and battling through the illness. He’s a hell of a performer and he’s always been my mom’s favorite, so “Godspeed,” Hot Rod, and “get well soon” dude.

WWE’s No Way Out to Reprise Armageddon’s Blowaway Tag Ladder Contest
Hooliganz, Hardyz, Regal & Taylor, MNM Square Off One More Time

Absolutely NOTHING bad to say about this one, except that it’s got one heck of a tough act to follow seeing as how impressive the four-way brawl at Armageddon was. Couple that with the fact that these men are each likely (in some capacity or another) to be called into action again for WrestleMania in just a little over a month’s time after No Way Out, and we’re setting ourselves up for a pretty high benchmark of fan expectations rolling into the Big Dance just a few weeks from today.

Given the quality and caliber of each of the men involved in this match, there is little chance that it will disappoint. Whether or not it can live up to the standard set at Armageddon is anybody’s guess — but even if it falls short of that mark, at least it gives fans all the more to look forward to when at least two of these pairs do the inevitable-rehash-blowoff “seriously, THIS is the last time” match at WrestleMania.

And without the World Title on the line at No Way Out, the card is already looking to use a “casual fan interest” boost, so even if they *are* rehashing old standbys… it could be MUCH worse.

Alright, let’s switch gears and talk some TNA turkey, eh?

TNA News

Bob Backlund Might Just Be Crazy After All
Former Champ Seen Carrying Bags & Walking to Hotel from TNA Studios

Ladies and gentlemen, I officially give you your “non-news newsbit of the week.” Lemme’ get this straight, the internet critics are speculating that Backlund is legit crazy simply because the man refuses to let other people carry his bags around for him? What… the… hell.

Folks, I’ve been to the Universal Studios lot where TNA tapes its shows, and I can assure you — there are PLENTY of hotels within walking distance from the place. No joke, you can see some of them the very second you walk out of the Impact Zone’s front door. If Backlund wants to carry his own bags to and from? SO WHAT. The 70+ degree Orlando weather is hardly “unforgiving,” and the overall distance between hotel and studio probably comes out to less than a mile each way when all’s said and done. If Bob Backlund wants to keep his blood flowing with a healthy stroll between the two venues? More power to him.

Get off the man’s back, people. With Kurt Angle in TNA-land, it’s not like crazy ex-champions are in short supply down at Universal Studios, ya’ know.

Next!

TNA Planning New Heel Stable Foursome
Styles, Tomko, Steiner and Cage to Buddy Up in Coming Weeks

Awesome.

Though I’m not quite sold on the “two big guys each filling the ‘Enforcer’ role” (Steiner AND Tomko are both best used in the brawn-over-brains mold), putting together a blockbuster stable with guys that never had much of a chance elsewhere (Tomko), guys that have done pretty well for themselves in the business (Steiner), homegrown talent (AJ Styles) AND home-pushed talent (Cage) is a smart, smart idea for all parties involved. Not only does it give each man something credible to do rather than simply spin their wheels in an already-overcrowded main event while they make an idle hunt for a non-existant secondary title, it also melds performers from four different backgrounds together into one cohesive stable, thus eliminating that all-too-frequent booking mistake of pairing “all the new guys” (WCW’s New Blood) against “all the old guys,” (WCW’s Varsity Club) or “all the original talent” (ECW’s “Originals”) vs. “all the fresh talent” (ECW’s “new breed”).

Rather than give us “WWE’s castaways” vs. the TNA originals, TNA is smartly booking this one with a strong mix of performers from all sorts of backgrounds. Styles has been (and should continue to be) great in his “cocky asshole” role, Cage has been outstanding in his “conniving main eventer” leader’s position, and there are few people on the TNA roster more credible for “hired muscle” than Steiner and Tomko. The two just LOOK like bouncers at your local night club, is all, and it’s perfectly believable that two smaller guys like AJ and Cage (especially now that they’re each inclined to take the heelish shortcut-route) would surround themselves with bigger, brawnier guys who they could hide behind and boss around in order to keep themselves on top.

Looking forward to good things from these guys. Now all the stable needs is a name!

“Planet Jarrett Redux?” “The Phenomenal Peeps?” “Big Poppa’s Problem Solvers?” Yeesh…

Readers?

Goldberg Ain’t Happy With TNA’s Namedropping
‘Da Man’ Tells Miami Herald Its a Cheap Ratings Ploy

Oh boo hoo, Billy Boy Blue. “A wrestling company is using my name on their program!” So what, dude? It’s not like they’re using the Goldberg name in a slanderous or degrading fashion, you know (as opposed to, say, how the Voodoo Kin Mafia used the real names of Shawn Michaels and Triple H). If anything, Bill Goldberg should be thanking TNA for keeping his name out there among wrestling fans, as we’re about the only people in the entire world who take this clown seriously in this day and age. Anybody happen to catch his latest direct-to-DVD bomb, “Santa’s Slay?”

Goldberg, get over yourself and let this one roll man. I know you’re still sore at the “wrasslin’ fanz” for how we booed you out of the business at Madison Square Garden at WrestleMania 20, but face it pal: TNA namedropping you as a credible, established “star” consultant who may (or as we all know, most definitely will *not*) show up to payoff this storyline DOESNT HURT YOU ONE BIT. If anything? It makes TNA look bad since they’re trading on your star power when the best they can deliver is Scott Steiner in your place. But again, that’s TNA’s problem, NOT yours.

Other News

Bruno Sammartino to Make Ring Of Honor Debut on WrestleMania Weekend
Former WWWF Champ Books an ROH Appearance Opposite WWE’s Hall of Fame Induction

And this, my friends, as petty and seemingly insignificant as it might be, is 100% proof POSITIVE why Bruno Sammartino is — without a doubt — one of the few people in the entire business of professional wrestling who’s word can actually be taken to mean something. ROH’s press release called Sammartino “a true Hall of Famer,” and you just know that was meant to be taken as a direct attack on what Sammartino believes to be the farcical nature of Vince McMahon’s quote-unquote “Hall of Fame” procedings of the same weekend (though again, the fact that Vince snapped at Hulkster for letting the cat out of the bag on his Hall *does* seem to indicate that he takes the thing pretty seriously).

Regardless?

Gotta’ give credit to Bruno Sammartino for not only booking himself out of any possible WrestleMania tie-ins, but also for doing so in a fashion that was intended as a big, bold “screw you” to his longtime real-life adversary, Vince McMahon. Not that I agree with Bruno’s decision, mind you (as I can’t help but think that he’s running a serious risk of the “casual fan” forgetting him in a decade or so if Vince and WWE’s video library doesn’t do him justice before then) — but as far as “supporting” his decision? 100% yes from Mee on that one, as with all the nasty things Sammartino has said about WWE in the past, showing up at their front door simply for the sake of a paycheck at this point would be, well, pretty Goldberg-esque.

That’s right, Bill… you’re officially added to the MeeThinks “people who suck” list.

And One To Go On

Alright folks, that’ll do it for Mee for this week. If you’re looking for wrestling next week, don’t forget: Dog Show Monday means no RAW ’till Thursday, but TNA will be airing a primetime “best of” special on Monday night all the same. Also, be on the lookout for the infamous Mr. and Mrs. MeeThinks as my folks might just stop by the Impact Zone for Thursday night’s broadcast, since they’ll be in the Orlando area for most of the week celebrating mom’s birthday.

Happy Birthday, Mom! Happy Valentine’s Day, all… and always stay positive!

– Meehan