WRestling’s 3R’s 3.02.07: Steiner Hurts Kurt, Nitro has Anger Management Issues, Vince Invades Smackdown, ECW in a Cage, The WSX FIREBALL SHOW and More!

iMpact 2.22.07:

The Right:

AJ kicks off Impact! – While I wish for more wrestling action, I did enjoy the start to last week’s show. AJ has really taken to the heel role and came off as a complete asshole here, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. He invented the X-Division and invented this match, and said he would steal the show at the PPV, but he just needed a challenger. Rhino came out to answer the challenge and chased AJ off of the structure and the rematch is set. While I have problems with the match in ways, this was a good set up and a nice way to start the show.

The Steiner and Angle Contract Signing – To me this was the highlight of the show. Contract signings can be very hit or miss, but this one did damn well and I enjoyed it. Jim Cornette was awesome here, as he always is. The line about, “I hope you remain gentlemen” was gold because you knew there would be a fight. Angle and Steiner went back and forth and then it happened. Steiner FINALLY used the headdress and head butted the shit out of Angle and busted him open, and I think himself. It was a great visual to be sure. Cage and Tomko came out and they laid out Angle big time. It was a damn good angle and the build is a good one. Steiner then shoved the contract down Angle’s throat for the final exclamation point. This was good stuff.

puRgatory:

The Belting Pot Match – This was one of the better efforts from these guys but it still isn’t what it needs to be in my opinion. 3D is still no selling Homicide and overall I am not feeling where it is going. Is 3D going to lose another match a Destination X and then get the cage match at Lockdown for the win? It looks that way, and if that is the case I doubt that it will be the success that they had hoped. I guess that I really just hoped for more; shame on me.

The wRong:

#1 Contender’s Ladder Match – I had a lot of problems with this match. I had high hopes going in, not that it would be an epic match or anything, but that it would be a solid affair and actually given some time. I was wrong, and here is what was wrong with the match.

–It was a ladder match: Seriously, this is a problem to me in the booking of the promotion. We are going to randomly throw out 5 X-Division guys into a #1 contender’s match, and make it a ladder match. And then this ladder match, which could be all wild and wacky, will lead to a title match in…A REGULAR MATCH! I think that they are doing reverse booking, as they seem to be starting with gimmick matches with some feuds and going backwards to the regular old wrestling match. It would have been nice to have a small series of matches, even just 4 guys and have a mini tournament and they crown a #1 contender. And then, maybe they could have the ladder match be the X-Title match. I just think that it would have been better that way, instead of wasting a completely good gimmick match on TV, which as I said only got 4-minutes, which was really a waste.

–No Entrances: How can you make a talented group of guys look like complete jobbers? Start a match with 5 of them and give them no entrances or introductions. Seriously, through out wrestling history when you think of job guys, you think of the guy “already in the ring…” that got no entrance. I really feel for a match that was supposed to be “so important” that they instantly took away from it by doing that. Maybe cutting the useless 6-man tag would have helped!

–It was hacked by a commercial: We got to see about 4-minutes of this match, while 3-minutes of it was hacked by a commercial. I understand that they are at the mercy of SPIKE at times, but really, if you cannot see how doing that hurts the product, then you are blind. If this was supposed to make you want to buy the PPV, well, it did a pretty poor job of it.

–It wasn’t very good: Yeah, the match wasn’t very good at all. It was just spot, spot, hit, hit and had no flow and really, was painful to watch. That’s sad really. I like a lot of the performers involved and thought the match had a ton of potential, but it just didn’t deliver. Once again, if this was supposed to make you want to buy the PPV, well, it did a pretty poor job of it.

PCS Idol – Where’s it going? Is Lethal more over? Is he on PPV? Is he or Dutt challenging for the title? Nope. Funny at times yes, but helping people; still very questionable.

The Ridiculous:

Dear Tenay and West… – You guys do NOT need to talk when someone is cutting a promo. Over the last weeks it is getting worse and worse. Every time someone cuts a promo these guys wait for a breath and throw in some comment or “YEAH” or “OH MY” that is NOT needed. Commentators are there to enhance and tell the story of a match, not the promos. It is getting to the point that they are hurting things and that is not a good thing at all. Get your priorities in place boys and do your damn job. You are taking away from good promos and becoming way too annoying.

The 2-minute long, 6-man tag – You know seriously, I would rather them not even bother with this kind of bullshit than put on this “match.” It really annoys me as this was an excuse to get people on the show, when they really didn’t have to be because it was all clutter. Here is what they wanted to do here, have another “chase” between Storm and Harris. That’s fine, but I would actually have rather they did a backstage segment with this, and added another minute to one of the other matches. It is another case of just throwing guys out there with no real reason other than to get them on the show. This is a practice that they desperately need to stop.

The RUSSO-FN-RIFFIC~!:
What the hell is all up in that ceiling? – Seriously, how much shit is up in that ceiling? My lord, first we have AJ come out and show off the Elevation X, and now we are adding a “Last Rites” match to the PPV, where the goal is to strap your opponent to a bed like deal that will hang from the ceiling and they have then elevated to the heavens or some shit. Holy Shit, I just realized, this is Russo’s DREAM! Ring of Glory on National TV~! But seriously, TNA was already pretty gimmick heavy but now it is going wild. All we need is to add another pole match to this show and Russo will be in heaven.

SmackDown 2.23.07

I zonked on my couch last night and was awoken at 3am by the sound of rain pouring off my roof, a welcome sound, indeed. I attempted to fall back asleep to Disc 2 of ECW’s Most Violent Brawls (for some reason, I find violence soothing…go fig), but ended up being completely captivated, not the least of which by the two matches featuring the sadly departed Mike Awesome. I’m not sure what I can say that’s not already been said since the tragic news broke of his suicide, other than he was more than an amazingly capable performer with balance and agility rarely blessed to those boasting his intimidating size. The fact that he was so Ridiculously misused and underutilized by both the WWF and WCW displays how poorly some of these self-proclaimed geniuses can be. A horrible shame and I wish only the best of comfort to the Alphonso family.

Finally, a big ol’ HOO-RAW to the imminent release of Twin Peaks Season Two!!! I absolutely soiled my cKs when I heard the news this morning and booked it to Amazon to pre-order my copy!

The Right:

Apparently JBL thinks Chavo is pretty – I was quite and pleasantly surprised over the fact that Chavo Guerrero and Scotty 2 Hotty were actually allowed to hit the ring and have a real, actual, honest-to-Benoit match tonight! Chavo looked fantastic, working a smart, crisp offense, targeting Scotty’s back until Mr. 2 Hotty, believe it or not, rallied and scored some impressively seamless pain of his own! I KNOW, my jaw was swinging in the breeze, too, especially when he actually completed The Worm for the first time since Moolah’s drapes matched the carpet. Of course, sneaky Chavo got the Flair feet-on-the-ropes for the pinfall to further exacerbate his exquisite heat, which he totally cultivated tonight like the veteran he is (and a small stroke of genius to pull this off tonight when SD! was coming from San Diego, home of Rey Mysterio, who was “sidelined” by Chavo in the I Quit match…Mr. Continuity was grinning like Mr. Herbert in the boys’ gym…it’s a Family Guy joke, kids…come on, keep up!).

We also saw Gregory Helms stewing in the back, eyes glued to the monitor, obviously a touch sore over having lost his CWT. One wonders if Helms will be turned face in light of his desire to regain the belt, as a clash is obviously forthcoming and I don’t see a heel versus heel match in the cards for WrestleMania, to say nothing of the fact that it would be easier to turn Helms than Chavo. Personally, I’m kinda bummed that Chavo is being relegated back to the CW ranks as I am of the opinion that he has what it takes to hang with the heavyweights (my feelings exactly concerning Helms, as well), especially considering the CW division, by May, will be as stagnant as ever, but I suppose we enjoy what we can for as long as possible, don’t we?

Finlay’s figured out how to beat The Boogeyman & Mini-Boogey…so have I…two bullets – …But load the entire chamber just for shits and giggles. For fuck’s sake, would you look at that. Mini-Boogey riding in like one of the myriad ticks on Boogey’s back. Seriously, it looks like some fucked up Santeria dwarf mating ritual. I’m about to revisit dinner, to put it politely. I was expecting Mini-Boogey to pull out a pocket watch to break over his head. Really, I hate Boogey so much. It’s a special kind of Hogan/Piper hatred. I don’t hate Bret Hart this much. Hell, I don’t hate Khali this much. But this goes in the Right section for two reasons: 1) Finlay laying Mini-Boogey the fuck OUT with that boot to the head; 2) The Little Bastard’s DDT and subsequent pin on Boogey.

The Perfect induction – I didn’t care for Curt Hennig when he first debuted in the WWF. His shtick just reminded me of the surplus of obnoxious jock assholes with which I was forced to deal in school. Pairing him with Bobby Heenan, whom I despised at the time when he managed (I know, I was such a little mark), cemented the deal. However, as Hennan made his transition into “broadcast journalism” and Hennig logged ring time, it was difficult, if not irrefutable to deny that he was what he said he was, and he said he’s Perfect.

Hennig can be added to the list of real WRESTLERS who SHOULD have been allowed a lengthy HWT run (Orndorff, Rude, DiBiase, Roberts), but were disallowed such honor because of Hogan’s stranglehold on the belt (thanks, Hulkamaniacs, you fucking morons). That’s why I love the whole WWE Hall of Fame; it’s Vince’s way of saying, “Thanks for being my plaything while you spent your youth breaking down your body to make me rich.” Yeah, Hennig’s dead and we can’t get a straw up Boogey’s nose. At any rate and cynicism aside, it’s great to see Hennig finally getting the recognition he’s more than deserved, if much too late. For the first time, I’d rather see the Hall of Fame ceremony than WrestleMania.

purgatory:

Mrs. Dave must be chillin at the hotel – because Batista, yet again, has swiped her sunglasses to complete his “Sonny Crockett turns tricks in South Beach” look. And did JBL say, “[Batista] has no segregation where Undertaker is concerned”? Did he mean “trepidation”? Perhaps he needs to consult his ‘East Texas-to-English Dictionotomy’…? At any rate, however, San Diego genuinely appears to love The Animal. All in all, this promo tonight STANK of pre-turn to me. Personally, I think the whole “Taker and I have made our points to one another” happy slappy shit is going to erode into Taker continuing to bring it leaving Dave with his back against the wall, whereby his paranoia causes him to lash out and eventually turn, thus making him a greater threat, but, in the end, leaves him another Streak statistic.

Falls count anywhere, huh? Who’s gonna interfere and why? – That was my first thought at the announcement of tonight’s Money in the Bank Qualifying match. I loved the manner in which Michael Cole lovingly rhapsodized Edge’s $ITB history to build the importance winning such match brings to the victor, then tacks on at the end, “Oh, yeah, the second winner, RVD, also won a title.” Nothing like the windfall of respect afforded a man’s man like Rob Van Dam, especially after bringing his old school work boots to Raw. GOD, I hope he goes to TNA.

JBL – “You know what it takes to be a world champion?” Uhm, I’m guessing to wait till every other name which McMahonagement’s pushed to the top to retire, jump ship or be sidelined with an injury because the almighty brand split has watered down the rosters so much, one must only stay healthy and kiss a little ass and one is basically assured a little gold down the line.

I didn’t care for this match, by and large, because it was just plain ugly and neglected to play toward the strengths of either performer and didn’t make up for such short-coming by favoring us with any out-of-the-ordinary spots usually featured in such a gimmick match. Both men are at their best when paired up with a performer possessing more finesse; pit them against a brawler or place them in a brawling situation and they tend to plod through the mire.

The match was certainly not without its merits, however. Bookah’s DDT to Kane on the steel-grating stage was awesome, as was Sharmell’s petrified reaction when Kane turned his smoldering, volatile attention to her, allowing My Sovereign Lord to crown him with the ring bell, ushering in a sequence of more traditional and enjoyable offense by both parties. And, yes, Mr. Continuity was pleased that Bookah continue to work on the same arm upon which he targeted at NO WAY OUT.

However, while I think it’s a great idea to end this program between Kane and Bookah, as I question their continuity, I have to question including Our King in the $ITB match…will he work well in such an environment? And, oh my dirty, bloody stars, Kane versus Khali at WM? Jesus tap dancing Christ on a trampoline, how many bathrooms does Ford Field HAVE? I am SO stoked that I opted out of WM this year. Batista/Taker? Lashley/Umaga? Kane/Khali? Even the WM logo sucks this year. I’d rather pass a kidney boulder.

Connect the dots…la la lala – Do that in a Pee Wee Herman voice and it’s more fun.

I’ve said before that, as a consequence of SD! being a post-produced show, I don’t trust the audible crowd reaction to a performer’s entrance, because that can be easily padded; However, Matt Hardy appears to receive a consistently HUGE face pop, to say nothing of the “We want Matt!” chants that rose a couple of times during this match (and I’m CERTAIN such a chant would not be manufactured or padded by the Truck). Hmm, seems to me that Hardcore Holly got a HWT shot against Brock Lesnar for just that reason…where’s Matt’s love?

Quick note…is it just me, or, if MNM is truly going to be split henceforth, shouldn’t Joey Mercury or Johnny Nitro get his own entrance music…? And was it just me, or did Merc seem to adopt Ashley’s “wrestling underwater” gig tonight in the six-man pitting Merc and partners Deuce-N-Domino against Matt and the WWETTCs Brian Kendrick & Paul London? Honestly, I don’t think there’s bigger Merc supporter in the IWC than me Right now, but he just seemed really off tonight, although he did sell in SUPERB fashion Matt’s match-winning DDT…and without the facial appliance, too!

I wonder if Kendrick is getting sick of this formulaic face-in-peril role in which he’s apparently stuck? DND were much less annoying tonight than in recent weeks, even as their offense becomes increasingly paint-by-numbers. I maintain this team should have had at least a few more months to mature and establish themselves before being set in line with the WWETTCs. Did we learn nothing from JBL?

I love Ratchet & Clank! – So I was really irritated to find that there’s a new installment in the franchise available exclusively to the PSP. However, the ads for the game have been thoroughly entertaining, like the one when the campers shrink one of their buddies so he can sneak into the girls’ tent and watch them change, only to be swept away by an owl, or the one where the guy is smooching on his girlfriend and his buddies turn her into Vickie Guerrero with the livestock ray. Fun stuff!

Speaking of Vickie, she mercifully abandoned that gastly goth thing she had going on when last we saw her. The wheels appear to be in motion where her plan is concerned and we should be finding out what exactly this entails soon. Hopefully, it will involve Chris Benoit who STILL has no direction whatsoever for WM.

The wRong:

Nothing of note…BUT…

The Ridiculous:

What a windfall of buttjuice – First off, it was great to see Rey Mysterio again (although I forgot how much I HATE his entrance music and one wonders if Snitsky might take Rey to wrestling court over gimmick infringement where that goatee is concerned…?) and he looked pretty swank (Batista, take note), but I’m a sucker for French cuffs; however, I noticed there was still nearly :15 left in the show for Rey to address his 619 brethren, a sure sign that something was up. And was it ever. Rey got out about four sentences and out came Vince Buzzkill in the most atrocious blazer I’ve ever seen on a human being. Are you kidding me with that thing?! He’s out there putting himself over as being a billionaire when we have better-dressed transients in LA? Seriously, it looked like a tile floor I wouldn’t allow my dog to piddle on.

And why the CUNT have we got a main event promo on the wrestling brand?! And for a RAW story, no less! Yeah, look, Vince, I understand you’re sacrificing that steel gray toup of yours at WM, but you’ve already got a stranglehold on Monday nights, STAY OFF OF FRIDAYS!!! Honestly, what is it about WWE employees getting a red-hot poker in the sphincter every time they set foot in their hometown? I don’t see Viscera tea-bagging Vince every time they roll through Incest, Virginia. And here’s a question I’ve had for awhile – how the hell does a Samoan savage straight off the island have a silver grill? This was a pathetic waste of time that could have been better spent giving Kennedy or Benoit something to do at WM.

Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: [email protected]

Raw 2.26.07:

The Right:

RKO tries to create dissention in the ranks of the tag champs! – Raw kicked off this week with the tag champs coming to the ring for their tag title defense. But oh no, the match wasn’t now! Orton and Edge weren’t ready yet. Instead they proclaimed the greatness of HBK (Um, no shit) and said he was robbed at the Oscar’s! They informed Mr. Cena that he really needs to watch his back because HBK has a history of turning on his partners, and they even had the foresight to prepare a video package! The video package was great, as it chronicled HBK turning on Marty, Diesel, X-Pac and Hogan. Good stuff and the look on Cena’s face was priceless as HBK stood in that possible “I will kick your head off STANCE” but said repeatedly, “You can trust me.” Great opening segment here as they are playing the Cena/HBK dynamic well.

Didn’t work! – Tough luck bitches, your little plan did NOT work! Nope, HBK and Cena defended the titles successfully and if there is any dissention in the ranks it is with RKO now. The match, while a level below some of the recent main events, was another good wrestling match, which I really enjoyed. These guys all work very well together and I dig it when they have matches, no channel changing here. But they also teased more stuff after the match with HBK and Cena. This is being done VERY well. But they do have to pull the trigger soon I feel, or it will get old all the way to WrestleMania.

Carlito vs. Dykstra/Flair – The Flair/Carlito dynamic moved on a bit this week as Kenny, a man who has beaten Flair on several occasions mocked young Carlito about Flair, which led us to this match. They youngsters had a solid match. I still think Carlito is SHITE when it comes to running ropes and punches, and that springboard has to go, but otherwise we had some good stuff here. In the end Kenny crotched himself, Carlito nailed the lung blower and got the win. As he and Torrie celebrated, a proud Flair came out to the ramp to clap. This is all good stuff. They are still set that they could turn either man I feel. Either Carlito is sick of being Flair’s boy or Flair is eventually not impressed or nail’s Torrie and it goes from there. Fine work this week overall.

Shut up bitch, I have issues of my own! – Melina was on one of her rants again this week, upset due to her perceived lack of attention for the Playboy anorexic. She was just ranting and ranting and Nitro was hilarious with his facials, as you could tell that he didn’t give a shit. And then he snapped and basically told the bitch to shut her cock-sucker because he had some issues of his own, that being that he lost his shot at WrestleMania last week and was not seemingly shut out of the event. He stormed off and went out for his match with Super Crazy, which never happened. Nitro just snapped on Crazy and whooped the living hell out of him before the match even started. When he was done, he walked away, seething. This rocked. Nitro is really coming along nicely. His in ring has progresses more rapidly than anyone thought as far as singles go, he had the cocky attitude but is now becoming more well-rounded. This whole angle worked for me this week. Maybe if they have some special “loser’s battle royal” for the last Money in the Bank spot he’ll go crazy and win, or even they COULD go Nitro vs. Foley; which I would not argue with.

puRgatory:

Hardy vs. Shelton – This was the latest in the Money in the Bank Qualifying matches. They had a pretty good match, the crowd seemed into it and all was well. And then Shelton fell on his head and about killed himself. Hardy gets the win and a slot in the match, which is good as he has a great track record in Ladder matches. But much like RVD vs. Edge, I didn’t like the match up as it takes a guy out of the match that could have done it a lot of good. Shelton was basically the star of the match the last two years and the fact that he will not be there, as of now, hurts it a bit. Here is the other thing, every time Shelton gets de-pushed, his confidence is shaken and he almost kills himself. That’s a shame really, and a sign that they should maybe keep him as a tag team worker. As a singles guy you will always get pushed and they de-pushed unless you are HHH, HBK or Taker. He might not have the right mindset for the business as a whole, and something they should ponder a bit.

The Battle of the Billionaires – This week we had more build for the Battle of the Billionaires. Vince continued to mock Trump with possible hair cuts (BROTHER) and demanded to know who Trump had selected. Trump appeared via taped segment, which hurt the angle a little bit in my opinion, but not a lot, and announced that his man would be the ECW Champion Bobby Lashley. Lashley came out to a VERY mild reaction and made his way to the ring as Vince demanded security hit the ring. And then they had a really great pull apart brawl. The crowd finally woke up and really dug this, and they cared about the guys and Lashley got his biggest reaction to date I believe. They chanted for him and loved this brawl, and overall it was a very effective angle this week. But in the end here is the problem that I have here. Yes the feud will do business, and yes for the first time a crowd was WAY into Lashley with the good brawl they had. Now I am writing this before ECW runs but the way it looks is what I had feared. These men are nothing but a backdrop for Vince and Trump, and why this angers me is that unless things change the ECW and IC Titles will NOT be defended at WrestleMania, the BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR. I hate to see that, what has it been, since WM 18 since the IC Title has been defended? ECW is reborn and their title will not be defended at the biggest show of the year? Sorry, but I truly feel that at this biggest show of the year that all of the titles should be defended in well built up and interesting matches. The fact that they aren’t year after year is proof of poor booking, and also add to the fact that the Money In The Bank Match will have 8-guys hurts this as well.

The wRong:

Kane vs. Khali/Masters – All right, I didn’t like this segment at all. First of all I feel it killed the flow of another solid show. It wasn’t a great show this week, but very solid with a lot of direction. While this does build the impending WrestleMania match, I did not like how it was done. First of all you have Masters doing the challenge, fine and dandy as he needed some heat back I feel. But they you kill it by having Khali go out there. Either he wouldn’t be able to do it or would lose. Khali arrives, Masters can’t apply the hold, looks like a goof and then Kane appears. Kane and Khali continue to bury Masters, which I admit I don’t like Masters because he hasn’t improved much, but they basically bury him to get over a match that will sell no buys. No sir I did not like it at all.

The Ridiculous:

Maria vs. Melina – Well wow, this was a pretty bad match. Sure Maria is trying and getting a little better, but I was sitting there and cringing at the badness of this match. Melina actually won the match by kicking Maria in the cooch; seriously, the coochie kick got the win. Apparently it was devastating to the pelvic bone or something, but it worked. And that was that. I was really expecting a Mickie James run in. They are having a “major” feud match next week in a falls count anywhere match, and there was nothing from Mickie after this match to build that, which was rather disappointing. The best parts of the match were Melina’s split, Melina’s breasts and Maria’s outfit. My God her ass must have been hungry, because that thing was eating her outfit and I approve of that.

ECW on Sci-Fi!: 2.27.07:

The Right:

There is a Stevie Richards Sighting! – STEVIE IS ALIVE~! Seriously, Stevie Richard sis alive and got to wrestle on National TV! He had the chance to face off with young CM Punk this week on ECW, and they had a fine 3-4 minute match. Stevie is in great shape and still looks good in the ring, as well as makes the guy he is working to put over look great, an important job folks. They had the match, Punk looked in control most of the way and won with the Go2Sleep (STOP STEALING JAPANESE MOVES BOY~!) and now has some good momentum behind him after an odd period of time where he lost and struggles when he shouldn’t have. They have righted the ship and all things look good heading into WrestleMania for young Chip Monk Punk.

puRgatory:

Lashley overcomes the odds and the cage! – I will say that I DID NOT like the 5-minute stipulation for the cage match. I really think that Lashley would have benefited more overall with a longer and brutal cage match. His last long encounter with Holly was a very good match and I think that Holly, like Finlay, brings out the best in Lashley. When it was announced, even though I had that Groundhog Day feel with the repeated matches, I actually had high hopes for it. But then Vince sticks his billionaire nose into it and things change. I was not happy and this was headed to the wrong section with all of that against it.

So they go ahead and have the match. Lashley hits the ring like a house of fire and is going for the quick win, which is smart. They continually work at this and then Vinnie Mac with Umaga and Armando come down to the ring to distract Lashley. Lashley decides to bloody Holly and basically destroy him (as he has been reported for a while to need more arm surgery) in glorious fashion for the win. He celebrates as Umaga and crew talk smack to him, and then Bobby Lashley did the coolest thing he has done thus far in his WWE run. He hits the ropes and DIVES into the cage, plancha style and the cage breaks and falls onto Umaga. It looked cool as hell, the crowd popped huge and of they are smart they will constantly replay it and add it to the ECW video opening. All in all this ended up very well.

But…and yeah, there is always a, “but”. If you follow me here though I think you’ll understand what I am getting at. Vince is pissed off from Raw, he is mad at Lashley and decides to not only go to ECW but to make Lashley’s life hell. He decides he will threaten the ECW title, threaten to take it away. First of all he makes the 5-minute stipulation. Ok, follow me here, YOU are the evil owner and you want to screw the champion. How about, “If you don’t win in 5-seconds you lose the title.” Something to truly fuck him over and get the fans pissed because that would have. Or make the cage match Extreme Rules, which I suppose it was, and have Umaga screw him out of the title? See I hate this, as well as the “heel ref.” They never play the damn things right in my opinion and didn’t do it right here. While this seems like I am nit picking, maybe I am, but really, they could have done that so much better. Remember, Purgatory isn’t so much a bad thing as it is something essentially right, but not perfect.

Originals vs. New Breed – So this week pot head and the cripple w/the cane swinging freak battled the black dude and the vampire, along with the other black guy and the upside down bat chick. I really just want to refer to them as Two Black Dudes, the Vampire, Their Teacher and the Upside Down Bat Chick. Why? Well if they could sell a TV Series called Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza place than why the hell not? The match itself was short and could have really used some extra time as they seemed very rushed to me. I will explain how they could have used the time better later. Anyway, it was solid and the new breed got the win by NEFARIOUS MEANS~! One last thing, the highlight of the match was Sandman caning Ariel in her ass, tremendous.

This just seemed a bit too treadmill for me this week. I really would have preferred something like Thorn calling out RVD again or another original to prove that last week was “a fluke” or something. Also, the Originals lose yet again. They have like one win in the whole feud thus far. At the end of the day the Originals should be used properly to put over the New Breed, but they can’t do that on “legacy” alone. They need some wins and don’t tell me it doesn’t matter. I know they have lost almost every time through nefarious means, but they need some victories to solidify them going into WM if they are going ahead with a 6 or 8-man tag match there to resolve the feud.

Kennedy is Money in the Bank but the match sucked! – Let me begin by saying having Kennedy in the Money in the Bank match is the right call, one I support and feel should have happened so that is the positive here. But the match really blew in my opinion. Sabu was sloppy and they did not jell well together. I really cringed a lot during the match and was waiting on someone to get hurt. Thankfully no one did because that wouldn’t have been cool at all. And where the hell did they get that table, a homeless shelter? I mean not only did the leg fall off; but also the table was falling apart as they tried to move it! I also dislike the Inter-promotional matches to get Money in the Bank contenders, as my point on that was expressed last week.

The wRong:

The FIVE Match Formula! – This is something that I used to complain about a lot during the early days of Impact and something that I have once or twice discussed here with ECW. For a ONE-HOUR show I HATE the five-match formula. I don’t think that it an effective us of the show’s time. It feels rushed and like they are just throwing stuff out there, almost like they forgot to book part of the show and are covering it up. The biggest thing here is was the Balls vs. The Teacher match REALLY needed? There was already a match with Originals vs. New Breed, Balls is actually out of the Originals stable so the match had no reason to take place other than to have the horrible run in by Snitsky and it was bad as I will talk about below. That match and run in was a waste of about 4-minutes, with announcements and the after match CRAP. They could have taken the time and devoted it to the Originals vs. New Breed feud, elongate the match, go through a commercial and make it seem like this is THE feud for ECW. Hell they even fit in the Extreme Expose into all of this junk. This was an overbooked mess, too much stuff happening. Simplicity is often the best way to book things and they really need to go back to that, because the last few weeks were a lot better than they had been. This was a slight step back again, which they can’t afford.

The Ridiculous:

Snitsky – I am just not feeling the Snitsky deal. He is big, ugly and runs down to the ring at random and gives out badly executed big boots. Wow, yeah, scary. I just don’t get the vibe they want. I don’t think he is a killer, I think he is the bald baby punter who likes to lick toes and read poetry while telling me it wasn’t his fault. I give them an A for effort in trying to reinvent him, but he isn’t improving in my opinion and really, what are they going to do? Are they going to push him to the title because he is BIG? I am just not buying it.

WSX!: 2.27.07:

No Matt Classic – I am very disappointed that there has been no Matt Classic on the regular show thus far. They ran the tremendous video package for him a few weeks back and have mentioned his appearances on WSXtra, but nothing on TV as of yet. His stuff on WSXtra has been awesome and I think that the man needs to be used more often. It’s a golden gimmick and if he doesn’t start appearing on TV, I will be a sad, sad man.

Solid Opener – Once again this week we had a very energetic and fun opener. WSX seems to be doing this well 4-episodes into their run, which is a good thing. This week saw Sydal in his second good opening effort for WSX vs. the debuting (on TV) Scorpio Sky. They got just over 4-minutes, which was clipped as the edit was obvious but not nearly as bad as past efforts at this so that is a good thing. Lizzy is the determining factor and Sydal hit the WAVE OF THE FUTURE for the impressive win. A good way to open the show and that is a bad ass move that needs to be showed off. I will never understand why Kazarian stopped using that as it is a move that can set you a part form others. I also liked the after match angle with Lizzy writing “H8R” on Sky’s back, she’s a cunt, and I like it.

Similar Gimmicks – If I had one issue with the opener it would be that both men seem to have very similar gimmicks. Sydal is “The Cocky Cover Boy” while Sky is “The Greatest.” Essentially cocky assholes who think that they are better than everyone, and also a heel gimmick. I dig Sky though with them reading his high school accomplishments and coming to the ring with plaques showing them off, ala the Slammy Award Winning Owen Hart. While they have their differences, they are very close. This is an oddity as WSX seems to have doen well gimmick wise. I will have to see more of these guys to judge it better, but it is just something I noticed.

Keepin It Gangsta – Keepin It Gangsta debuted this week with their BLING ladder~! That was half of their coolness. The other half was Ruckus. He was fun and did some wicked shit, so that was good. That 70’s Team was great again as their gimmick is great. Ryan as the pseudo 70’s porn star with the inhaler and all is just tremendous. It is just fun stuff to watch, and that is that. The bad part is Babi Slymm. When I saw him last he wasn’t good at all, and well, he hasn’t improved. He was rather brutal to watch and really appears as a level below the other guys in the ring. He is not good, not good at all.

Episode IV: Pac’s Revenge – While I do not like the “bait and switch” of the main event stuff, this worked fine. Pac was pissed that he lost the title and wanted revenge calling out WSX Champion Vampiro. A “mystery man” showed up with a burnt face and attacked Vampiro and threw…THE FIREBALL OF CONTROVERSY~! This sets up Pac vs. Tornado next week for revenge for the beating and Vampiro will apparently be occupied with the mystery fireball thrower! There is some direction and that is a good thing.

Overall – So episode IV is in the books. The opener was solid stuff and a lot of fun. Sydal is a lot of fun to watch as is Sky. The only real problem I have is they essentially have the same gimmick; the cool, cocky guy. But they might be different enough not to matter. Keepin it Gangsta debuted and while Ruckus is fun, Slymm sucks. The BLING ladder and gimmicks should hide that hopefully. I am not too hot on the bait and switch deals with main events, but this works with the title deal and sets up Pac vs. Tornado next week as well as Vampiro out for revenge. A solid, if weaker than normal episode this week.

For more interesting information on wrestling, check out Bryan Alvarez and Figure Four Weekly Online, Mike Campbell over at SPLASH MOUNTAIN and Dr. Keith Lipinski over at f4w~!

Thanks for joining us, PEACE!