The MeeThinks Saturday Spectacular 03.03.07

Let’s get to it, eh?

Rock & roll.

Wrestling Society X News

Wrestling Society X Scrapped By MTv
Startup Promotion Cancellation “Effective Immediately”

Well, we can’t say we didn’t see *this* one coming.

Two weeks ago when MTv initially pulled a WSX episode thanks to the exploding fireball stunt, I said:

[This is] not an easy call for MTv, to be sure… but one that has a lot less to do with any one particular stunt on WSX and a lot MORE to do with their larger problem in sizing up [the network’s] demographic. Simply put, if MTv’s main audience winds up being kids and younger teens — then there’s no room for Wrestling Society X on the network.

Now that MTv pulled the plug on WSX, it seems pretty clear that the network has made its decision to cut their losses on the older, edgier demographic in favor of dedicating their time, programming, and efforts elsewhere — namely to the younger audience who’d rather watch “My Super Sweet Sixteen.”

All in all —

Though it sucks that Wrestling Society X was just the latest victim of MTv’s latest mood swing, you can’t really fault the network for coming to the realization that what WSX offered simply didn’t fit with the all-important “network profile.” You don’t put cooking shows on SciFi, you don’t put long-form dramas on Comedy Central, and the simple (if sad) fact of the matter is that you just don’t put WRESTLING shows on a network that (nominally) calls itself MUSIC Television.

Will WSX be picked up by another network? Not likely, MeeThinks. Regardless — they’ve still got six episodes in the can AND there’s no reason why the ill-fated promotion won’t make it to DVD some time down the line. Now as for the performers themselves? Here’s hoping that a few brief weeks of national exposure will ultimately result in all the more reason for WWE, TNA and various international promotions to give them all a second look.

Sean Waltman *WAS* backstage at a WWE taping this week, ya’ know… 😉

WWE News

Andrew “Test” Martin Released from WWE
ECW’s “Impact Player” Ends Second Tenure With the ‘E

Bwahahahahahaha.

Well it’s about time, eh? I called Test being canned from the ‘E way back in December — and I am more than happy to see that the company decided to dismiss the roided-up chipmunk in favor of actually giving screen time to more ongoing, competent, and altogether entertaining (heck, some might even say “worthwhile”) performers and storylines in lieu of giving Test yet another opportunity to underwhelm.

Now then, if anyone *really* thinks Test leaving the company has nothing to do with WWEllness — hate to say it, but you’re due for a massive reality check.

Make no mistake about it, folks — WWE had cut their losses with Test MONTHS ago. Simply put, the guy couldnt keep his act together and became a liability once he got nailed for repeatedly violating their drug policy (the same policy you’ll recall that he BEGGED WWE to enstate following the death of Eddie Guerrero, btw). Once it was clear that Test couldn’t be trusted to stay clean and out of the company dog house, he was placed on Bobby Lashley job patrol in order to get what little value out of the guy they had left before (as Bret Hart once so eloquently put it) “taking him out back and putting a bullet in his head — just like a circus animal.”

Now then, the second the company used up Test’s “cred” (and we’ll use that term loosely) as an on-screen punishment for his offscreen behavior? Presto — suspension. A mistimed auto accident later (colliding with a PARKED CAR, no less) and it seems all too clear that Mr. Martin had worn out his second welcome with the company… especially now that they’ve got Snitsky playing the exact same role that they’d given to Test just six months ago.

Put all the pieces together, and you’re staring at a clear case of “you wanna leave, eh? good. Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out.”

Which leaves us with the sad facts of the matter on this one:

1) You can be SURE that WWEllness played a huge factor in Test’s “resignation.” Which is good, because that means the program is still in effect (even if its exact details and applications are uneven, at best).

2) ECW is better off without Test. The guy was given a second lease on his WWE life to help add some “established performer” cred to the new brand, but all Test did (kinda like Angle, Sabu and Van Dam before him, actually…) was buckle under the pressure and make himself a liability to the company by (once again) putting “wrestler” and “drug user” at the front and center of the public eye.

3) Sucks to see somebody flake out like that, but in truth — Test was never really any great shakes in the ring. His physique, while “impressive” did little to hide the fact that he was really nothing more than a glorified midcarder, and MeeThinks the television time the ‘E was spending in a desperate attempt to make fans buy Test as a certifiable “main event” heel only wound up making the new ECW brand look all the less credible by its association to him.

Now that he’s gone, MeeThinks we’re much better off seeing all those efforts go towards a more worthwhile cause like building new angles, ongoing storylines, and credible (and DEPENDABLE) main eventers — all of which we’ve gradually begun to see from ECW in the past few weeks.

ECW Wrestlers No Longer “Extremists”
Now Plain Old “Superstars” Like the Rest, Says WWE.com

This isn’t really news, just an interesting tidbit that I thought would be fun to point out. Though IWC fanboys are decrying this as the last bastion of what used to be ECW’s “extreme” credibility, MeeThinks your average wrasslin’ fan couldn’t disagree *more* or care *less*.

Bottom line is that the “new” ECW will always be a WWE brand NO MATTER what they call the promotion, its performers, or its matches. Calling a show “EXTREEEME” doesn’t make it so — and calling a show’s performers “EXTREEEEEMIZTZ” doesn’t make their movesets any more impressive. So long as WWE owns the ECW brand, you can be sure that what that brand will continue to present will remain as “extreme” or “non-extreme” as is par for the course with the rest of the WWE fare.

Fact is, “extremists” were about as goofy a name as they come — so I’d much rather see them go by the usual WWE-speak than be given a slapdash moniker that really doesn’t fit with the product being presented. And frankly, I’d MUCH rather concern myself with the quality of their shows than what silly little names the announcers are throwing around when describing the lot of ’em.

For the record, though — this past week’s ECW on SciFi absolutely RULED.

Nick Bockwinkle Rumored for WWE Hall of Fame?
Recent NWA Show Bills Former Champ as “Soon-to-be WWE Hall of Famer”

Two points here:

1) If it’s true, then it’s awesome. Bockwinkle MORE than deserves to be in every wrestling Hall of Fame known to man. Shoot — just ask Ric Flair. And now that Vince’s incarnation of “The Hall” has been broadened to induct non-WWE performers (see: Gagne, Verne) — one would think that folks like Bockwinkle would probably be a lock for a future induction. That said, however…

2) A guy being announced at a PRO WRESTLING SHOW for an accolade that he hasn’t quite yet earned is hardly something to start the rumor mills buzzing over. Christian Cage is announced as an “Instant Classic” — does that mean we’re to assume HE’s a Hall of Famer? Ditto for “The Living Legend” Larry Zybysko. I don’t see WWE’s people bangin’ down HIS door. Point is? Don’t let your typical pro wrestling oversell/bombast combo fool ya’. Ultimate Warrior is *not* “six feet tall!,” Sean Waltman was NOT an “original member of dX,” and Nick Bockwinkle is *not* necessarily a Hall of Fame shoo-in just because he was announced as one in a show that was using his “star power” to sell a few extra tickets.

File this one under “definitely gonna’ happen one day, and maybe soon,” but *not* because NWA said so.

WWE Scraps “Little Bastard” Name
Finlay’s Lepruchaun Will Now Go by “Hornswoggle”

Sad though it is we won’t be hearing the words “Little Bastard” on WWE television each week, MeeThinks this one is not only overdue — but that it’s also a smart marketing move on the part of WWE. Word is that a number of international tours had trouble with local laws when advertising the word “bastard” on promotional materials, and so the guy had been forced to go by “Dylan” (yes, DYLAN The Lepruchaun) whenever a roadbump arose. But with the name change? Less headaches for WWE, and an easier time in bringing the guy along when the company makes its rounds on the international circuit — which is a HUGE source of revenue for the company. So when “Little Bastard” isn’t usable, “Dylan” isn’t marketable, and “The Lepruchaun” isn’t trademark-able — Simple economics (thuganomics?) says that the little guy needs a new name.

Couple that with the fact much of the WWE merchandise is marketed specifically to kids, and you’ve got yourself reason number two why “Little Bastard” had to go. Just like when WWE markets the “Hell in a Cell” cage accessory to Jakks action figures and has to retitle it “The Cell” (so as not to offend the kiddies) — a name swap to “Hornswoggle” means that the guy we used to call Little Bastard could well be in line for his very own Jakks two-pack. And though I’m totally speculating here — a Finlay/Hornswoggle set (maybe even a Boogeyman/Boogeymini set too?) would be a pretty sweet buy, if ya’ asked Mee.

On a side note, “Hornswoggle” is all the more awesome a name not just because it sounds like it was stolen from “The Hobbit, but because the word actually means “to hoodwink or cheat someone.” And for a guy whose whole schtick is hiding under a ring and helping his in-ring pal score cheap wins via all sorts of shenanigans? “Hornswoggle” is a perfect fit, sez’ I.

Big Show Says “No” To One-Year WWE Contract
Deal Would Have Leased Intellectual Property to Former Employer

Interesting move here on Show’s part. Apparently the deal offered his way would have given WWE a year’s worth of rights to use the Big Show’s name in things like promotional materials, merchandise, and the like. Shockingly, Show wouldn’t have even had to wrestle or make so much as ONE WWE appearance within said year’s time, so the fact that the man declined the offer pretty much tells us one of three things:

1) He’s a very smart businessman, and he’d rather keep his options open (and be free to use his name outside of WWE).

2) He’s a very dumb businessman, and he’s holding out for a better deal (not likely). Or…

3) He’s simply burnt out with the biz, and so he’d rather not sign ANYTHING wrestling-related right about now so that he doesn’t pigeonhole himself into (reluctantly) staying close to the wrestling industry for the rest of his life.

If either cases 1 or 3 are what we’re looking at here, then Show is a very, very smart man — and I applaud him for his good business sense. Show is a longtime pal of Hogan and we all know the Hulkster is a shrewd backstage finnagler… so I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if our pal Show was taking a cue from the Red and Yellow and keeping his options open when sizing up this whole thing. That way, should TNA come calling within the next year offering less dates and more money, he wouldn’t have to show up billing himself as The Big Show Paul Wight.

On the flipside, Show spent plenty of time buddying up with The Rock, and we have already seen the big man witness some pretty decent success when dabbling in Hollywood bit parts. Jingle All The Way and The Waterboy come to mind, but show has always proven surprisingly articulate and posessing of an incredible knack for comic timing when he makes the television rounds — so I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if he just wanted to keep control of “The Big Show” name all to himself simply because it’s a pretty easy marketing in-road should he decide to delve more seriously into the acting biz. Plus, not signing away “The Big Show” name means that Vince and Co. get *absolutely zero* should the former champ find success in Tinseltown — which is something that can’t be said for “WWE Star Steve Austin” or the early acting career of WWE’s “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson.

Regardless — MeeThinks this move was a smart one for TBS, and it will be interesting to see what will become of The Show in the next 365.

Eric Bischoff Declines RAW Return
Easy E Backs Out of Limited-Run WWE Onscreen Role

Bold move by Bischoff walking away from a WWE role when it’s pretty clear that the window of opportunity of the man’s relevance is rapidly slipping away. WCW folded a solid SIX years ago, and chances are that many of your newer fans (who came in during the Cena/Batista era) probably only know of the guy by virtue of his role as RAW’s GM for the past few years — meaning that his WCW tenure is barely a blip on their radar.

So yeah, whereas Big Show could easily plug himself into another fed or a Hollywood career, I dunno’ if I’d be so quick to say the same for “Uncle” Eric. Frankly, I just don’t think that he’s all that interested in running or booking a wrestling company on his hands, and so he’s more likely to stick to non-wrestling ventures that are more likely to be “money makers” than those more risky opportunities that are tangentially related to the squared circle.

In short — Bischoff will be back on *one* wrestling program or another before all’s said and done, but MeeThinks he’s more than content right now to sit at home and ride out the duration of his current WWE deal (which expires this summer, so they say) while he formulates his next “get rich quick” scheme — reality TV, energy drink, childrens’ toys or whatever it might be. Regardless, he’s made it all too clear that the wrestling business isn’t his only love, and so I’d much rather see him “do his thing” outside of the biz’ and recharge for a while (ala Chris Jericho) rather than just show up on WWE television and phone it in for a few one-off appearances simply for the sake of an easy payday.

Which reminds Mee — Who returns first, YouThinks? Jericho or Bischoff?

Place your bets now, folks.

Chuck Palumbo Due Back on WWE Television “Soon”
Former Tag Champ Slated to Return on One of Company’s Three Brands

Good to see Palumbo back in action. I always thought he was the more talented half of Billy and Chuck, and that even if his run in the dying days of WCW was lackluster — he definitely could have become something of a mid-card success story if given the proper opportunity. So yeah, good to see Chuck on his way back to TV. If he lands on ECW as a member of the “New Breed,” MeeThinks he could really shine. Anywhere else and he runs the risk of getting lost in the midcard shuffle, but otherwise — good for him and looking forward to seeing if the second (third?) time with the ‘E is the charm!

TNA-ish News

Lita Slated for UWF Debut
Southern Indy Fed Sees WWE Alum Alongside Current TNA Talent

Just a small news bit, really, but an interesting one as it signals the first time WWE-retiree Amy “Lita” Dumas will be hitting the indies. More significantly, her return to the ring will see her on cards alongside such TNA mainstays as Scott Steiner, Petey Williams, James Storm, Jerry Lynn, Eric Young, and others. And not for nothin’ here, but if TNA is seriously looking to build themselves a women’s division, MeeThinks you can BET that the TNA’ers will be doing their best to “feel her out” (get your minds out of the gutters, folks) and plant the seeds for a few “working relationships” sometime down the line.

So yeah, just a small note — but as I’ve said before, Lita would be a TREMENDOUS asset to any women’s divison looking for a quick dose of star power, and if TNA is serious about starting a ladies’ circuit of their own (perhaps when they get that second hour of television some time down the road) — stuff such as this make it pretty clear that our friend Amy “Lita” Dumas hasn’t ruled out the notion of an in-ring return.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

Thanks again for reading, all. Just a brief reminder to look for Mee at RAW from Washington D.C.’s MCI Center Verizon Center next Monday (March 12)! Always nice that the “road to WrestleMania” between the Rumble and the Big Dance has made a pit-stop in Washington for the past three years now (without fail!), so I guess if you’re a wrasslin’ fan like Mee then it really pays to live in our nation’s capital!

‘Till next week, take it easy and if you’re planning to watch RAW live — do be sure to TiVo “The Black Donnellys” in the meantime! As for Mee, I’m off to Philly for the weekend to catch up with the rest of the Meehan clan for my pop’s 56th birthday! Till’ next time — stay tuned, stay pumped for WrestleMania (we’re just under 30 days away!), and ALWAYS stay positive!

– Meehan