wrestling / Columns
The Shimmy 3.05.07: The Undertaker, Dead Man Version 2.0 Report Card (Part Two)
Hello, all. I think I’m coming down with a case of death so we’ll get right to the meat of the column. This week we finish up our look at the most recent incarnation of Undertaker, starting with his feud with Randy Orton. On with the show!
Undertaker vs. Randy Orton (SummerSlam 2005)
A lot of people really like this match. A lot of people enjoy this match more than their WrestleMania 21 match. I’m not one of those people. In fact, I think this was the worst match on an otherwise stellar card. It was slow, it was boring, and there wasn’t much of a redeeming quality to it. While it doesn’t get the big “F” it certainly doesn’t get my recommendation.
My Grade: D
Handicap Casket Match: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton & Cowboy Bob Orton (No Mercy 2005)
Because no one man can beat the Undertaker! I actually like this match, but again it shows the stupidity of Taker’s opponents. He can’t be blown up, he can’t be buried, and he can’t be burned. He’s a freaking DEAD MAN! The ending to this match puzzles me, though. Randy closes the casket with both Taker and Cowboy Bob in it. Shouldn’t the Orton’s have one then? It’s not like all three men were in the casket at once.
My Grade: B-
Hell in a Cell Match: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton (Armageddon 2005)
Now I’ll let you know I haven’t seen this entire match. I’ve seen the beginning and I’ve seen the end, but I think I’ve managed to miss the middle. From what I have seen, I enjoyed it. It actually seemed pretty slow in the early going, but by the time they reached the last few minutes things came together really well. Even I am shocked at the ending as I really thought they’d have put Orton over, especially if they had plans on doing Batista-Orton at Mania. Still, it was a pretty good match.
My Grade: B+
World Heavyweight Title Match: Kurt Angle© vs. Undertaker (No Way Out 2006)
My match of the year for 2006, what more is there to say? This match was extremely competitive and I believe it shocked a lot of people. Taker can still go when either motivated or in their with the right opponents and Angle proved that he still had a lot in his tank as well. It’s a shame that we probably won’t get to see these two go at it again (at least not at this condition), but they did leave us with at least one incredible match. The non-finish to their rematch leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I hated Angle as champion here, but this match definitely deserves its praise.
My Grade: A+
Casket Match: Undertaker vs. Mark Henry (WrestleMania 22)
Nobody thought this match would be good, so I suppose it probably did better than most expected. It was really a one move match with Undertaker’s plancha being that move. Henry was passable as a big man opponent for Taker, but really Undertaker was in no danger of losing, especially at WrestleMania.
My Grade: C-
Undertaker vs. The Great Khali (Judgment Day 2006)
Again, nobody thought that this match would be good, and it wasn’t. Still, it wasn’t nearly as horrible as it could have been. It’s funny, when Khali debuted I absolutely hated him and couldn’t wait for him to be fired. I’ve come around on him since then and actually enjoy him in small doses. I still don’t believe he went over Undertaker so dominantly.
My Grade: C-
Interpromotional, Punjabi Prison Match: Undertaker vs. Big Show (Great American Bash 2006)
OK, screw the haters, I liked the Punjabi Prison stipulation! It was different and really wasn’t that hard to understand. It definitely needs smaller wrestlers in it though so they can actually climb over the top. Taker and Big Show weren’t the two for the job. Still, this match wasn’t nearly as bad as some had said, and I attribute most of the slow factor to Big Show. The good thing is that Taker can add this to his list of gimmick matches that he’s conquered.
My Grade: D+
Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy (No Mercy 2006)
When I did my Andy Enjoyment Index of No Mercy I flip-flopped on whether I enjoyed Taker-Kennedy or London & Kendick-James & Stevens better. When an Undertaker match is as entertaining as a London & Kendrick PPV match that’s got to be a good thing. I think a lot of people will argue that since Kennedy didn’t really get a great victory out of Taker that this program hurt him. I disagree wholeheartedly. I think Kennedy grew up a lot during this program and looked great doing it. Taker and Kennedy had a really good series of matches and I think Taker enjoyed the chance to work with someone like Kennedy instead of Mark Henry or Khali. I think this feud helped both men out significantly and helped them create the momentum that they’ve brought into 2007.
My Grade: B
First Blood Match: Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy (Survivor Series 2006)
Of all their matches I think this was my least favorite, only because this one helped Kennedy look good the least. His win really did come off as flukish here and really seemed to help get MVP over more than it did Kennedy. The match wasn’t bad, but I felt it was too short and not nearly as intense as the hype would lead you to believe.
My Grade: B-
Last Ride Match: Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy (Armageddon 2006)
This match is where Kennedy really grew up. I think he came off looking like a star here even though he lost, and Taker was a large part of that. Taker really sold for Kennedy here and doing that drop from the set was a nice touch to help put Kennedy over. In the end it Undertaker’s Deadman gimmick won out as it was only understandable that the man that can’t die would rise from the hearse. Like I already said, this match would send both men into 2007 with a lot of momentum.
My Grade: B+
2007 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 2007)
And that momentum is on center stage here. A lot of people were down on the beginning and middle of this year’s Rumble for not being exciting enough, but I though they were fine. It was all about the end anyway. From the Final Four on this match became an instant classic. The interaction between Shawn Michaels and Undertaker was absolutely brilliant and it was great to see that they were allowed sufficient time to really tell their story. Undertaker made history here by not only winning the Rumble for the first time in his career, but by being the first man to win at No. 30, and he is certainly deserving of both distinctions.
My Grade: A
Interpromotional Match: Batista & Undertaker vs. John Cena & Shawn Michaels (No Way Out 2007)
And now for Taker’s most recent PPV effort. I really enjoyed this match and all four men had very good chemistry. Undertaker was super over and he really showed a fire that has been rarely seen out of him in recent years. I also noticed how leaner he was in this match, obviously making sure he is in peak condition for his WrestleMania showdown with Batista. He looked like a natural out there with his fellow main eventers and its good to see that he can still hang with the top of the pack in WWE.
My Grade: B+
A Reason For Bullet Points
Andy! Andy! At Last You Have Some Feedback!
Robert Senecal has some heavy opinions on Taker’s wardrobe:
One important thing you didn’t mention is how the Undertaker has half-assed his costume for over 3 years. When he came back, it was a half-ass version of the old gimmick. He didn’t even wear the right kind of cowboy hat! No gauntlet gloves, no tie, no ripped-sleeve shirt, no stip-ups, no make-up. He didn’t even wear the right hat and make-up until like a half a year his comeback. Overall, a good article, but this needs to be mentioned.
I actually like the hybrid Deadman-Biker look. I’m partial to the biker gimmick myself and I think the old look would be a bit too cartoony. I’m glad to see they weren’t insulting out intelligence too badly with the new Deadman.
My buddy Angelo Velotta enlightens us with his idea for a TV Title:
Hey Andy I got to thinking earlier today about how their has been so much brand crossovers lately in WWE. Instead of bitching about like everyone else, I have come up with an intriguing add on with that. Granted most people will say their is already too many titles, and I would agree to some extent, however I believe adding a TV title into the mix would be beneficiary in a few ways. The TV title would have to be defended once a week, but could be defended on any of the three shows. This adds an element of surprise and excitement with the brand crossovers. Since this title would garner interest, whoever held it would get a nice little push. Here’s an idea at Wrestlemania 23 they hold a 15 man battle royale for the TV title with the following superstars involved: Carlito, Kenny Dykstra, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Masters, Johnny Nitro, CM Punk, Matt Striker, Elijah Burke, RVD, Sabu, Ken Kennedy, Finlay, The Boogeyman, Matt Hardy and William Regal.
Carlito eliminates Regal
Finlay eliminates The Boogeyman but then eliminates himself after The Boogeyman goes to attack Little Bastard
RVD eliminates Striker
Burke eliminates Sabu
Punk eliminates Burke
Nitro eliminates Hardy
Dykstra eliminates Carlito
RVD eliminates Masters
Kennedy eliminates Benjamin
Nitro eliminates Dykstra
Kennedy eliminates Punk
RVD eliminates Kennedy
Nitro eliminates RVD to become the first new Television Champion!
From here Nitro appears on Raw the next night and has a huge celebration with papparazzi interviews until RVD appears on the screen and challenges him to come to ECW this week. So on ECW the next day Nitro pulls off a tough win against RVD. Next week Nitro appears on Smackdown and challenges anyone in the locker room. Kennedy comes out and two put on another great match which Nitro barely escapes with the win. The next week Nitro appears on ECW again and defends his gold against CM Punk. These two put on an amazing match with Punk winning after getting Nitro to tap in the Anaconda Vice. The next week Punk appears on Raw and takes on Kenny Dykstra and succesfully defends the title. That Sunday however, Punk has to defend the TV title against Raw’s Nitro. The two again put on a great match with Nitro getting the better of Punk this time after hitting a superkick. Nitro then defends the title the next night on Raw against Carlito and he successfully defends it. The next week on Nitro defends the title on Smackdown against Matt Hardy succesfully. The next week he appears on ECW looking for an extreme challenge and out comes Punk who says they are 1-1 against each other and need the tiebreaker in an extreme rules ladder match. The two put on a sheer classic with Punk looking to win until RVD comes out and nails him with a Van Terminator allowing Nitro to win.
This then sets up Punk and RVD feuding on ECW while Nitro continues to defend the TV title every week up until Summerslam when he has a three way ladder match against Punk and RVD with Punk walking away with the gold. Punk then gets the RVD push and goes to hold the title for six months before losing the title to Ken Kennedy before Wrestlemania. Kennedy then gets a feud of the two great promo cutters him vs. Carlito. The two trade the title back and forth four weeks in a row before their match at Wrestlemania where Kennedy holds onto the title this time.
So in a year of existence here is the list of TV Champions
1-Johnny Nitro (about a month)
2-CM Punk (about a week)
3-Johnny Nitro (about 4 months)
4-CM Punk (about six months)
5-Ken Kennedy (1 week)
6-Carlito (1 week)
7-Ken Kennedy (1 week)
8-Carlito (1 week)
9-Ken Kennedy
I actually like your thought process here, but I don’t think a new title is necessary. I say let the Women’s, Cruiserweight, and Tag Team Titles be Interpromotional instead. There can be a few Interpromotional World Title Matches at special events (like say Cyber Sunday) and keep the IC and US Titles brand exclusive. When ECW gets more established with a deeper roster maybe they can get a secondary title as well.
Jon Andrews asks about Michael Cole’s No Way Out performance:
I love the article on the Undertaker, has always been my favorite wrestler. Was just wondering if you could give me a detailed explanation of what happened to Michael Cole on Smackdown as I was at the hospital and missed it?
Basically Cole came in with a really bad cold and was losing his voice. He sounded bad at the beginning and got worse as the show went on. By midway through the main event his voice was entirely shot and JBL called the rest of the match by himself. He did a commendable job for the situation, but I still think it was dumb on WWE’s part to put him out there to begin with.
Joe has some strong opinions on Taker:
I want to briefly chime in about the undertaker.
the undertaker is one guy i just never want to see again. i just dont care for his stupid deadman gimmick at all. as a wrestler, he can still go, and i am a fan of a lot of his work in the ring. i just absolutely cannot stand the cartoon gimmick any longer. Give me Hogan, give me Austin, but if i had it my way, this guy would go away for good.
keep up the good work.
I kind of agree with your take. I wouldn’t like to see Taker go away himself, but I certainly wouldn’t mind a return to the more realist American Badass Undertaker instead of the Deadman. I got caught up in the excitement for the return of the gimmick at WrestleMania XX so I didn’t mind as first, but at times it gets old. I actually don’t mind it so much as long as they keep his “supernatural powers” out of it.
500 Good Words w/ Matt Adamson
For the first time in what seems like years (in reality it’s only been about 6 months), wrestling fans are hardly arguing about the new ECW. There are no “This isn’t ECW” comments being thrown out left and right, and believe me, it is a welcome relief.
I like to think of myself as a wrestling fan first and foremost, so I enjoy it when the complaining and arguing that happens on the internet about a particular subject calms down. Tuesday on ECW we were treated to the return of the word “extreme” to Extreme Championship Wrestling. Excitement was in the air, as the great Lonnie Mayne would say, when Bobby Lashley pulled off one of the more exciting moments in wrestling in quite some time when he flew into the steel cage with a mean plancha and sent that cage to the floor and on top of Umaga after a rather fun match with Hardcore Holly.
What I appreciated the most about this particular plancha was not the move itself, or the result, but the fact that the WWE, Bobby Lashley and Umaga took a considerable risk to provide us with one hell of a moment. Ever since the end of WCW and as a result the end of the attitude era, we have seen a significant decline of risk taking within the WWE. Granted, nearly every year at WrestleMania we see a few moments where the wrestlers take considerable risk, but that is afterall part of what makes WrestleMania so unique, and the fans should expect nothing less. However, this was on a one hour broadcast of what many consider to be the “C Show”. Was it worth the risk?
My first inclination is to say no, but considering those involved and the recent announcement of Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga at WrestleMania as representatives for Donald Trump and Vince McMahon in a match that will make one of the two billionaires bald, I’d say it’s easily a risk worth taking. With the media covering this event more than wrestling has been covered in over a decade, this kind of risk is the kind of thing that, will not only positively effect ECW, but the whole of WWE. Because of this one moment I went from only passively enjoying the ECW show to actively enjoying it and waiting for next weeks show.
Bobby Lashley, while very green, has potential, he has the look, and he has the guts. Umaga has the skill already in the bag, has the look, and has the guts as well. These two guys are the future of the business and in my mind the former of these two put himself on the map on Tuesday. It excites me to see risks like this being taken, and to have that feeling of anything can happen on WWE TV back. With Raw having a predictable show each week, with the same first 30 minutes, ECW was refreshing and a different wrestling TV show than we’ve seen in quite some time. For the first time since ECW was reintroduced, I am looking forward to what next week has to offer. Bring on the Dusty Rhodes era of ECW, because if this is any indication of what we can expect from his booking, we’re in for some great stuff.
Any comments, suggestions or questions send to: [email protected]
The Shimmy Likes It Raw!
What’s on tap for tonight’s show?
Ahem. 7:00. ESPN. Watch the VCU Rams punch their ticket into March Madness, baby!
Now for Raw…
That’s it for this week. Next week we have a special Double Report Card as we look at both Umaga and Bobby Lashley. You won’t want to miss it (I hope). Have a good week, everybody. Until then, don’t die. Clark…out.
