wrestling / Columns
The Fink’s Payload 03.05.07: WM23 Heel Turns
Matt: 
Bang Bang! Mrs. Hamburglar’s Baby Boy Don’t Print Out Of Date Ideas!
Don’t ask.
Anyway, I am Matt Sforcina, proud owner of 10 T-Shirt Hell shirts, and I am happy to be with you today.
Nick: Yeah, I got nothing. Except that you should listen to RocketBusta Radio. I told you to, now do it.
Matt: So, onto our possible WM shock heel turns. We begin with the guy who asked for the above bizarre obscure mixed pop culture reference, dominick281 and his idea for Vince to pull one over on soceity.
Heel Cast: Vince McMahon, Umaga, and Armando Alejandro Estrada.
Face Cast From what I heard: Donald Trump, Bobby Lashley (or Lindsay as Trump named him), and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Set: Raw, ECW, WrestleMania
So Trump has announced Lashley as his chosen one but Vince says he has chosen to add a special impartial referee in Stone Cold Steve Austin as his Special Guest Referee. Every question Vince for putting his hated enemy into the match as the Ref but Vince says that there are two reasons he did this. One was because he wanted to draw more money for himself at WrestleMania and the second was that Austin wouldn’t dare screw him at WrestleMania. People still question Vince’s decision. So the next night on ECW they have all the participants sign a legally (really legal so it’s more real) binding contract. After the signing Vince and Estrada insult Lashley. So he goes to attack them but gets stopped by Umaga and they start brawling. Estrada then slides in a TV monitor and Umaga starts beating Lashley down. Vince then punches Trump (not hard but just enough to look real) and knocks him out. Then Estrada gets a pair of scissors and cuts a lock of Trumps hair off. Vince, Umaga, and Estrada stands tall as Stone Cold just watched everything from the ring apron and didn’t do anything.
The next week on Raw Austin is questioned on why he didn’t help Trump and Lashley. Austin says that the reason he didn’t help them is because it’s not his problem. So that night on Raw Vince schedules a warm up match for Umaga so for the Intercontinental title it’s Umaga vs. Super Crazy but with Special Guest Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin. Umaga is accompanied by AAE and McMahon. They have their match and as it looks like Umaga is going to win Lashley’s music plays and he walks onto the stage with Trump to watch the match. Umaga is distracted and Super Crazy gets a roll up 1-2-NO! Umaga kicks out and when Crazy runs at him he gets Samoan Spiked and gets covered for the 3, Austin counting a little fast. The next night on ECW McMahon tells Lashley he’ll be in a warm up match tonight for the ECW World Title. Lashley’s opponent is revealed to be Elijah Burke with Stone Cold as the referee. But when Burke comes out he’s accompanied by all of the New Breed, Vince, Estrada, and Umaga. That match starts as people keep distracting Lashley. But he keeps fighting back finally the Originals come in and attack the New Breed and Umaga. They keep fighting on the outside. While Austin is distracted Burke gets a chair and goes to hit Lashley but gets speared for the 3, with a pretty slow count. Lashley than celebrates with Trump and the Originals as The New Breed and McMahon’s Billlionares Club retreats.
On Raw Vince says that tonight Umaga and Elijah Burke will face Bobby Lashley and……….. no one. But first Edge announces the return of the Cutting Edge next week with his guest being Stone Cold. In the match Lashley fights them until the numbers starts to catch up with him. But RVD jumps the rail, climbs to the top rope, and kicks Burke in the face right off the apron. They start brawling on the outside as the ref calls for the bell. Umaga and Lashley start fighting in the middle of the ring as security tries to pull them apart.
The next week Vince gives Umaga, Estrada, Trump, and Lashley the week off. Edge comes out to have the Cutting Edge and introduces Stone Cold. Edge asks him how come he has given in and is siding with Vince. Austin tells Edge to shut the hell up. He says the only reason he hasn’t been getting involved in the fights is because he’s here to be a ref and that’s it. Edge tells Austin to cut the crap and tell him and the fans the truth that he and Vince are working together. Austin says the he’ll tell the truth that Edge is the biggest S.O.B he’s ever seen in his life and he’ll tell the truth that he’ll open up a can of whoop ass on him. Edge smacks Austin in the face. Austin then Stuns Edge. Austin celebrates with beer until Randy Orton (looks like him and Edge won’t have their match at Mania) comes in and RKOs Austin. Him and Edge start to beat down on Austin until Vince come out and tells them to get the hell off his referee. Edge and Orton leaves as Austin gets up and Vince smiles at him.
On Raw next week Todd Grisham interviews Vince about helping Austin last week. Vince says that he helped Austin because he didn’t want his cash cow to die. Vince then says that since it’s the last week till WrestleMania Bobby Lashley and John Cena will face Umaga and Shawn Michaels. They have their match going back and forth until Umaga comes in and nails Lashley with a monitor. A brawl breaks out with the show going off the air.
At WrestleMania they wrestle the way an Umaga vs. Lashley match would be. Until Lashley starts to get some rapid punches on Umaga, reaches under him, picks him up and slams him. The crowd goes crazy. Lashley then sets up for a spear and nails Umaga. 1…………2………..The count was stopped. But Austin didn’t stop it Lashley got off him. Trump gets up on the apron and yells “What are you doing Lashley pin him!” Lashley then lays down and puts Umaga on top of him. 1-2-3! UMAGA WINS, VINCE WINS, TRUMP LOSES, TRUMP IS GONNA GET HIS HEAD SHAVED!!! Vince, Umaga, Estrada, and Lashley beat Trump to a bloody pulp, sit him in the chair, and shave his head bald. The reason for Lashley to betray Trump: Money from Vince, title shots, perks, secret hatred for Trump, wanting Trump to be bald just like him, or maybe because Trump called him Lindsay. You Pick.
Matt: A, this will never ever happen. B, making it that much of a “Austin’s gonna be evil” just screams swerve. C, this will never ever happen. D, is Trump really over enough that Lashley turning on him will work? And finally, E, this will never ever ever ever happen.
Nick: I just don’t like that you’re wasting everybody’s time by using Edge and his show to promote an angle he’s not even involved in.
Matt: And next up is Angelo Velotta, who is fully aware ahead of time that his idea will cause MAJOR Backlash, and not in terms of the PPV.
The match is The Undertaker vs. Batista, title vs. streak as we already know. The match begins with Batista having the upper hand for the majority of about 8 minutes before the Taker begins coming back only for Batista to again cut off his momentum. Finally, at about 15 minutes in Taker has taken complete control. He hits Batista with a chokeslam for 2. He waits for Batista to get up and hits him with a Last Ride for 2. He then again waits for Batista to get up and hits him with a Tombstone Piledriver but doesn’t go for the pin. Instead Taker walks outside and back down the entrance ramp until the ref signals a ten count and The Taker’s streak is snapped by a count out loss???! The fans start booing loudly as they are utterly confused until the lights go off for a minute. The lights return back on with Taker standing in the ring with Paul Bearer. Paul Bearer gets on the mic and says the following:
“I knew all too well there would be a day when my Undertaker grew weak and lost the rest of his powers. He has brought Hell into the WWE for the last decade and it is time for him to finally rest in peace before he destroys himself. I have already carefully outlined with The Undertaker as to who should be knighted the next Phenom, the next king of the macabre, and that is the Demon Deacon Batista!”
The fans look on in utter disbelief and shock as to what just happened and why. Paul Bearer instructs Batista to give The Undertaker one final bow of respect. He does but halfway down clotheslines the crap out of The Undertaker! Paul Bearer instructs Batista to go get a chair and he does. When he returns to the ring he nails The Undertaker 15 times in the head and body with the steel chair before finally leaving with Paul Bearer to the back.
Matt: I fully support the idea of a Bearer return, but to get revenge on Taker for that whole ‘Buried Alive In Concrete’ thing. And creating shocking hatred can be a good thing, just ask Hulk Hogan after he turned. But this idea, while not lacking in merit, is really applied in a strange way here. Why not have Taker lose as Batista’s final test? I don’t agree with DAVE breaking the streak regardless, but this is an odd way to go about the general theme here.
Nick: It seems cool, but it’s just completely ridiculous and much too goofy to do at any time that isn’t 1998 or 1999. Plus, why does Batista all of a sudden start representing Wake Forest?
Matt: Next up, Joakim Hellstrand debuts with his take on a heel turn some would argue is long overdue.
After a long, hard-fought (and hopefully good) main event between Cena and Michaels where Cena retains, both men stand in the middle of the ring, and are going to do the respectful hand-shake thing. Mid-hand-shake, Cena kicks Michaels in the groin, lifts him up, and FU’s him out of the ring. After punching and kicking him like a man possessed, he does something suitably impactful and painful (powerbomb through an announce table or something), and leaves the building looking both smug and angry. Michaels is wheeled out on a stretcher, the announcers selling the hell out of the shock and the massive damage Michaels just took. It is announced on WWE.com that Michaels took extensive damage to his back and broke it (or something that sounds semi-plausible and serious. Remember that Michaels has been wanting to take some time off and that he was more or less forced into the main event because of HHH’s injury.)
The next night on Raw, Cena explains his actions, saying he hated how people would always cheer DX, specifically Michaels, while they kept booing him. Wrestlemania was the last straw. (Let’s just hope there actually were people booing him, but I think we can rely on a Detroit crowd to do that). He says he’s beaten everyone, that he hasn’t lost a fair fight in years. He brings up how both times he lost the belt, it was due to Edge’s sneaky maneuvering and that he’s constantly turned back all challengers. “I beat JBL first at Wrestlemania 21, and then in an I Quit match, I made Triple H tap out at Wrestlemania 22 and beat him again at Backlash. I beat Sabu in a Lumberjack match, I beat Edge in a TLC match and a Steel Cage. I annihilated Umaga in a Last Man Standing match. Yesterday I not only beat Shawn Michaels, I broke his back, and made sure he would never wrestle again. I’m unstoppable and there nothing anyone can do about it, especially not you idiots!”
From here on out, Cena is a powerful, angry, ruthless heel champion, cheating when he has to, but also winning fair fights. Have a semi-long build for a fresh new face (hopefully not HHH) to finally beat him, maybe at SummerSlam. Michaels can return much later after taking a long time off.
I doubt it would ever happen, though. WWE loves Cena as a face way too much, having him be the face of the company, the guy they send to talk shows, and the guy who sells the merchandise. However, I think this would be an awesome way to go, and a great way to freshen up Cena as a character. I think he would have no problem playing a heel. He must have gathered up lots of insults and anger towards everyone who kept booing him, which he now can let out as a heel.
Matt: I can so hear that promo, although knowing Cena he’d probably work out how to do it in rhyme. But while I, like most sound people, think a Cena heel turn is needed sooner or later (although it may just flip the cheer/boo ratio the other way, having the women and children boo him and the adult men cheer him, for the most part), Cena is, like you said, the face of the company. There’s also the problem of no true face challenger. Rock had Austin, Hogan had Sting, Flair had everyone, a key requirement of this turn is not so much a fresh brand new babyface, but rather, a babyface those currently cheering Cena can latch on to. You can’t turn Cena until you have someone who can fill the gap his turning will leave, now that the gap exists. Cena gets a reaction every time he steps through the curtain. Until we find someone who can do that just as well, he ain’t turning. Alas.
Nick: Not perfect, but I like it generally. The problem is that they would need a new face to challenge him, as Matt said, and also that Cena (I believe) is losing soon after ‘Mania, so it would make more sense to turn him before so he can be heel for a month, then he can come back as a face in a few months if that’s what they want. Or they could spend that few months he’s gone building up a big face, then have Cena come back as a face just to turn again, take the belt, and boom, Cena’s heel, champ, and has a credible guy to chase him.
Matt: Next up, we take another look at the battle of the billionaires, this time from Sean Jamieson.
The set up is simple: Vince just declared on Raw that he’s going to make life a living hell for Lashley because the ECW Champion agreed to be Trump’s representative. McMahon kicks off ECW on SciFi by having the New Breed and Umaga decimate Lashley with the Originals making a late save, having to debate it a little bit on the ramp. A bloodied Lashley has an interview with Rebecca and she shows him the tape to get his thoughts. Lashley storms off and confronts the Originals about the delay in the assist. The Originals lay it out for him: While they respect him, they don’t like the fact that while they worked years to get to the ECW World Title (with a joke at Balls’ expense, of course), Lashley waltzed into the company, went on THEIR pay per view, and took the title. Furthermore, the only reason they helped Lashley was because they decided to ruin McMahon’s plans. That being said, the Originals tell Lashley they decided to watch his back from now on so he can beat Umaga and humiliate Vince like he’s been trying to humiliate them. Lashley nods and walks off like the badass he is.
On Raw, Umaga defends the IC Title against Mr. McMahon’s handpicked opponent… Val Venis. The Big Valbowski does the best he can to regain the IC Title, but Umaga quickly overwhelms him and gets the win in easy fashion. Lashley comes out after the match and puts Umaga on notice with an intense staredown for the promo packages. After this, Linda McMahon or whoever the board’s rep will announce Mick Foley as the ref for the match.
Next week, the Originals live up to their promise and help Lashley as he’s attacked by the New Breed in the parking lot. McMahon books a match with Lashley, Dreamer, and Sandman vs. Thorne, Burke, and Cor Von as the main event. Striker and Ariel provide a distraction to allow Cor Von to hit the Pounce on Dreamer, but RVD, Sabu, and Balls come out to drive them away and get a chair shot in on Cor Von to take him out of the picture. Near the end of the match, Sandman makes the hot tag to Lashley, who cleans house and looks to have the match won until Thorne gets his cane. He hits Lashley with it while the ref is distracted with a fight on the outside between the Originals and the New Breed. Burke is about to get the pin when Sandman comes into the ring with his cane and goes nuts on Thorne and Burke, leading the Originals to get DQed. The Originals use their numbers game to get an advantage over the New Breed, Lashley gets an emphatic Oklahoma Slam on Thorne to pay back the cane shot, and everyone goes home happy.
As far as Raw goes, Estrada speaks for Umaga and does the standard shtick to threaten Lashley, which brings out the ECW Champ to issue a rebuttal. Foley then comes out to discuss the match and remind everyone to buy his book and that he’ll be an impartial referee.
The following week, we start ECW on SciFi with the Originals in the back talking to someone about how they really think he’d have fit in with the old ECW and how he’d have been a great Original, just like Benoit, Malenko, or Guerrero. A great wrestler, the intensity, the passion… No one says it better than him. The camera pans to show CM Punk standing in front of the Originals with a smirk on his face as Bobby Lashley sits and laces his boots behind him. Punk accepts the Originals’ offer to become an official member of the group and lets them know that the New Breed tried to recruit him and mentioned they’d already had a successful recruiting drive over the week. Sure enough, the New Breed reveals they acquired two new allies: Snitsky and the returning Test. This evens the numbers game again and takes away the balance of power the Originals gained from Lashley and Punk. McMahon rears his ugly head and books Lashley, his new buddy CM Punk, and RVD in a match against the New Breed’s brute squad of Snitsky, Test, and Thorne. Being the smallest man in the match by far, Punk gets dominated for most of the match until he makes the tag to Lashley and RVD comes in to help out. However, with Punk exhausted and RVD taken out of commission by a Snitsky boot to the head, Lashley is beaten down and finally gets pinned. The rest of the New Breed come out to do more damage to the Originals and Lashley, but the cavalry comes and the other Originals save the day.
On Raw, Lashley appears with Donald Trump as Trump and McMahon have another verbal spat with Foley eventually knocking both billionaires on their asses to keep them from fighting each other in the ring. Foley’s distraction allows Umaga to attack Lashley, but Lashley holds his own and actually gets the upper hand until Burke, Striker, and Snitsky attack Lashley. Dreamer, Sandman, and RVD make the save. McMahon announces later in the night that he wants to create a rift between Lashley and his allies on ECW so they don’t interfere on his behalf in the hair match and books RVD vs. Lashley for the ECW World Title for ECW on SciFi.
Before their match, Lashley and RVD discuss the title match. Lashley reminds RVD about his match at Wrestlemania, and RVD responds by informing Lashley that the ECW Title is his way to get on the Wrestlemania card. He’ll wrestle a clean match within the rules, but he won’t hold back. RVD walks away and McMahon and Estrada come up to Lashley. McMahon says RVD inadvertently gave him a hell of an idea and that their match will have Extreme Rules. This is the cue for Umaga to attack and after the beating goes on for a while, RVD rushes back with a chair to cause McMahon to call off Umaga. The match rolls around and Lashley seems pissed off and really takes it to RVD early on. RVD manages to fight back with weapons, cutting Lashley open and putting him away with a Five Star Frog Splash through the announce table. McMahon comes out and warns RVD not to celebrate because he’s got Snitsky at Wrestlemania. The show ends with an upset Lashley doing the right thing and shaking RVD’s hand like a true face.
Finally, it’s time for Wrestlemania. Lashley and Umaga start off with your standard power match, with McMahon and Estrada trying to run interference, but Foley has no part of it and keeps the match clean. Foley finally has enough and ejects Estrada from ringside to make things more manageable, even though it makes Umaga a little harder to control. Finally, the match breaks down and Umaga snaps without his handler. He goes berserk on the outside and comes back with a chair. Before Foley can react, Lashley knocks the chair out of Umaga’s hands, out to the feet of Vince. Vince goes to interfere, but Trump stops him. They fight over the chair while Foley deals with them. This provides Umaga the opportunity to knock down Lashley and go to the outside to get a TV monitor. However, when he gets back in, he finds Lashley still down on the canvas. McMahon gets a huge grin on his face as a confused Umaga drops the monitor and stands over Lashley. Lashley pushes the monitor out of the ring and motions for Umaga to pin him. A thoroughly puzzled Umaga pins Lashley as Foley has no choice but to count. Estrada comes from the back and orders Umaga to grab Trump and take him to the barber’s chair. Lashley gets to his feet and assists Umaga with holding Trump down so McMahon can shave him bald and give him a Billionaire Bitchslap.
Lashley shows up on Raw alongside McMahon to explain himself. He talks about how hard he’s worked his whole life to get where he’s at, but he doesn’t need to work hard in WWE. Most of the WWE is weak and soft and with McMahon’s support, he can dominate the company. He goes on to align himself with ECW’s New Breed, since the Originals never liked him and only used him to get to McMahon and the New Breed until RVD got the chance to take the title and totally forgot about McMahon. And, with luck, a new heel star is born.
WWE gets a new heel with a lot of heat, Trump gets a ton of publicity as he gets his head shaved, RVD gets another ECW World Title reign, and everyone’s happy.
Matt: Again, Trump Losing will just not happen. But if it was, this one, taking some touches from dominick’s idea (the Rated RKO interaction, slight teasing of Austin turning) would be how to do it. And this would also have the added bonus of planting an Umaga face turn seed, if he doesn’t seem to want to just pin Lashley when he asks him to.
Nick: Jesus. Just like the actual angle, these friggin’ ideas for Trump/McMahon are way too fucking long. I don’t really dig the whole idea, either. If it were up to me I’d just cancel it and apologize for wasting so much god damn time on the whole angle. There’s your swerve.
Matt: So, from one second look to another second look, this time from Raw’s Title match, and written by Todd Vote.
At Wrestlemania, you have HBK accompanied to the ring by Triple H, who is still on crutches. HHH helps Michaels win the title, through shady, although not necessarily nefarious means, and no visible malicious intent towards Cena. They are just having fun. (Not sure what, maybe fat oily guys comes dancing out or something) Anyway, Michaels pins Cena, and him and Hunter celebrate center ring. Cena slides back in, and has a hurt look on his face; he can’t believe his tag partner just cheated to beat him. Both Triple H and HBK offer a hand for Cena to shake, but he looks dejected, and walks away. DX goes back to celebrating, and the crown really going nuts for the duo.
Cena makes it as far as the entrance curtain, and turns around. He has that look (The “I’m gonna kill you muthafucka!” look from his last man standing match with Umaga) and rushes the ring. He clips the H’s leg, and continues with a horrendous beat down on both members of DX. Leaving Michaels bloody, and Triple H clenching his leg, writhing in pain.
On Raw the next night, the show opens with DX’s music. But there is no DX, as Cena makes his way to the ring.
“I bet you are probably wondering what is going on.” Cena starts in, “No your ears do not deceive you, this is supposed to be DX’s segment.” (Cut to a camera shot of the back stage area, where Michaels is again laid out) “Would you look at that? I just did in a matter of 2 days what nobody else could do, I took out DX. 5 cheerleaders couldn’t do it, McMahon couldn’t do it, Rated RKO sure as hell couldn’t do it. But here I am, little old me. Triple H is now out till after SummerSlam, and it looks as if Michaels is going to have a hard time defending his title any time soon.”
Cena explains that the reasons behind him snapping are simple, if not somewhat cliché. The fans made him do it. He gave them everything he had, and always left it all in the ring. Yet they continually booed him. He kept on going though; he didn’t doubt himself for one second. He tried and tried and tried to get the fans back on his side. He decided that this is the last night the fans will get any acknowledgement out of him (Important that no matter what happens, he never acknowledges the fans during this heel run).
Now for the big question, “Why DX? Why did I have to take DX down with me? Easy, you fans. The fans boo me, for playing by the book and busting my ass to win matches, then those two idiots cheated me out of the title, and you fans blew the roof off the joint. So I snapped, and beat their asses. Nothing personal, wrong place, wrong time. Tonight I start my climb back to the top, the only difference, this time is for me. This time I’m going old school, from now on what you see is what you get, I’m all about breaking necks and cashing checks. No more holding back, I’m going to let everyone know how I feel about them. My rise to power will leave a lot of bodies in the wake, so as of right now, the entire Raw locker room is on notice, everyone from Orton to Eugene, The Worlds Greatest Tag Team to Cryme Tyme. Nobody gets in my way, and we won’t have a problem. But you get in my way, or try to take what’s mine, and I will fight you. I will fight you and I will tear you apart.”
Cena would win his title back at the next PPV, and feud with Michaels till Triple H returns at Summer Slam.
Matt: Again, assuming Cena cuts said “Screw You People And The Horses You Rode In On!” promo in rhyme, this is a pretty nice way to do it. LOVE the touch of him taking out HBK to take over the first segment of the new season of Raw. But still has the same problems as before, re Cena turning.
Nick: I don’t like the whole ‘not acknowledging the crowd’ thing. That’s kind of a big deal, especially in matches. You can’t just ignore them. Outside of that, it’s cool and the gang with me.
Matt: And last, but certainly not least, Rob Halden books Raw into a corner, but then, we never did specify useful booking, just creative booking.
Assuming WWE continues teasing the HBK heel turn but doesn’t actually pull the trigger before ‘Mania, we some more mouth-watering moments during the match at WM where HBK is given the opportunity to do the dirty but doesn’t. The referee takes a bump in some three-man collision, knocking Cena and Michaels out of it briefly. At this point Randy Orton rushes down to the ring, grabs and steel chair and looks to get involved. HBK snatches the chair out of his hands and hits him with it, sending him out of the ring. At this point Cena comes to his senses, seeing HBK stood over him with a weapon in hand. Michaels drops the chair, pleads his innocence, pointing to Orton out of the ring. Cena hits Shawn with a low-blow and then delivers an FU onto the chair, getting the pin when the official wakes up. Did Cena turn? Most viewers would hopefully believe he was just defending himself. Which leads us to Batista Vs Undertaker, assuming this will be the main event.
Not wanting to take the chance of the match ending being unclear, Batista requests at some point during the evening that the match be made No Disqualification. He makes the request to Teddy Long (not Vince McEvil), saying that when he ends the Deadman’s streak tonight, he wants to do it 1, 2, 3. During the match the brawling takes the two men through the crowd and then around the ring area. Taker attempts to Chokeslam Batista through an announce table, but Dave manages to escape the death-grip and hits a Spinebuster through the table. Both men are down and seem to be out, but Batista recovers first. As he groggily staggers over to the ring, a figure emerges through the crowd…it’s Paul Bearer! Bearer reveals the classic urn and he uses it to raise Undertaker from the dead! Oh Yes! Batista is pissed. As the match heads towards the finish, John Cena comes out from the back to watch things from the stage. Batista puts everything he has into one big Batista Bomb, but he takes a moment to get himself into position. As he does, Paul Bearer is up on the apron with the urn again and raises Taker into kicking out! Suddenly John Cena pulls Paul Bearer off the apron and nails him with the urn! Cena throws the urn to Batista and then distracts the Undertaker. When the Deadman turns around, Batista busts him open with the urn and manages a second Batista Bomb, pinning him for the win. Cena and Batista both celebrate the victory with their title belts, and cut a little promo in the ring about how the past is dead and they are the future of the WWE.
Matt: Interesting, but in a twist of fate, this includes like every problem I had with all the previous suggestions. But it’s a nice little tableau, I’ll give it that.
Nick: Problem is that Batista sucks. If he’s the future, it’s not very bright.
Matt: So, what do we have to offer, apart from criticisms?
In order to be different, I’ll take a totally different match than those above. During the MITB match, as bodies are flying about and lots of high risk moves are hit, La Res suddenly run down and start getting involved, seemingly hitting people at ‘random’, under the direction of The Miz, giving orders. Then out runs Jillian Hall, spraying CM Punk with mace to stop his comeback as he fought of La Rez and Miz. But he blocks it with a chair, and is about to win when new US Champ MVP (who won the belt after Charles Robinson failed to see him use his bling to knock Benoit out despite looking right at it) runs out and pushes the ladder over, sending Punk through a table on the outside. Then Kennedy, the only man La Rez didn’t attack, stands up, gives out high fives all round (and a quick peck and pinch of Hall) and has an easy job climbing the ladder to get the briefcase.
But where’s the heel turn?
Taker/DAVE finishes the show, and Taker ends up winning the match. As he holds his belt up high, out comes the new Kennedy Krew, and they lay out a massive beatdown. Cole is shocked that Taker is about to lose the title, since clearly this is a set up for Kennedy to use his shot, when DAVE clears the ring with a chair, helps Taker up…
And then doesn’t turn, Taker grabbing the belt to use as a weapon, as the Kennedy Krew seem to be making another attack, preparing to enter the ring when Teddy Long comes out, vast hordes of black shirted security guards running out. They surround Kennedy and associates, as Long says he’s not going to let it happen this way, he’s not going to let Kennedy waltz in and steal the belt this way…
When he can make so much more money by putting it on the next SD PPV. Then, in a WM moment, the guards (50 or so local workers) swarm Dave and Taker and totally dismantle them while Kennedy/Long et al watch on, laughing. Kennedy ends up winning the belt at the next SD PPV (losing his #1 Contender’s match, then a beat down and using his MITB shot directly after it to win it), Long having his chosen ones until he’s fired, and a new GM is named…
But that’s later on.
Nick: Your idea is ridiculously confusing. Plus, Punk selling for Miz = laughable. At best. For me, we’ll do this. Benoit loses his belt to MVP via nefarious means. He’s pissed. Punk earlier on won Money in the Bank, and decided he wanted to use it against the DAVE/Taker winner at the end of the night. ‘Taker wins, but before Punk can make it out to the ring, Benoit beats the shit of him and then beats the shit out of Undertaker as well.
This leads to a wonderful storyline that I’m too lazy to get into, but I’ll just say that Benoit eventually takes the title from Undertaker, and then Punk eventually takes it from Benoit. The whole thing, from WrestleMania to Punk’s big title win, lasts until Survivor Series. And it involves Punk actually losing his MITB shot. Also, if it doesn’t have to start at ‘Mania, then Benoit’s loss to MVP is just the impetus for the whole thing, and Punk doesn’t want to challenge for MITB at ‘Mania, but rather sometime soon after.
If only you knew the entire idea. And if only I wasn’t too lazy right now to write it all out, because damned if I don’t end up forgetting it in the near future.
Matt: I never said Punk would have to sell for Miz, he’d just be giving orders…oh forget it. So, anyway, that’s our ideas out of the way. What do we have in store for next week?
5 WWE Champions of one sort or another are in matches at WM. That leaves 4 belts still able to have title matches, 5 if Team Heart Break Beats loses the tag belts before WM. Book a title match for WM not already there or unable to be defended.
Until next week,
Matt & Nick.
