Shining a Spotlight 3.08.07: Wrestlemania 13

It’s funny how memories can be so different as time goes by. I’m sure everyone had a TV show or movie or song they just loved when they were younger but recently caught it again and thought “damn, this sucks.” Part of that, I suppose, is that you’re more impressionable when you’re younger and a lot of things seem a lot cooler than they really are. I guess that’s why the audience of wrestling has always skewered younger, gets you hooked when you’re impressed by all the action. It also means a lot of wrestling that you loved as a kid doesn’t look as good today.

Everyone is prey to this. I was checking out the blog of Scott Keith where he reviews the unedited version of Wrestlemania V and is struck by how long and overblown it is with a dead crowd. I’ve always criticized Keith for calling the five-minute Curt Henning/Owen Hart match on the card a “classic” but in his re-review, he admits it’s not as good as he remembered when he was 15.

I guess this attitude pertains to my subject this week, Wrestlemania 13. It is the only Wrestlemania I ever managed to attend in person and at the time, I felt it was a terrific card. History, of course, has shown it to be pretty poor, with one notable exception. Yet I do still have a fondness for this card from ten years ago. Poor or not, it’s still Wrestlemania and that gives it a certain something.

I knew at the time that WWF was taking a beating. WCW was riding mega-high in the ratings and merchandise and PPV buy rates so a lot of normally sane and rational people truly believed that by the end of 1997, WWF was going to be out of business. I didn’t buy it then even though I was in the minority. WCW did seem to be ready to take over with the Hogan-Sting angle building. No one then believed they’d actually keep it going on until December. And certainly no one believed WCW would actually manage to blow this seemingly perfect angle with the disastrous Starrcade match.

A plus side to the beating WWF was getting was that it was easier than I thought to get a ticket for the card, taking place at the Rosemont Horizon (now known as the Allstate Arena). Sure, I was at the high parts of the arena but it was a good look at all the action. I should point out that despite the bad buzz for WWF then, the show did pull in a pretty good crowd of 18, 197 (about a thousand more than would come for Wrestlemania 22).

It’s hard to describe to anyone who hasn’t been to a Wrestlemania the feeling you have. There’s something about it that just seems more special than a regular PPV, an extra edge and charge in the air. Even if the matches are poor, you still feel…something because this is the big show of the year. It’s hard to totally screw up a Wrestlemania, despite what some may say. It’s a card you can always count on to make you feel good one way or another. Maybe it’s that vibe that can make you believe the show is awesome even if it really isn’t.

It started out with the Free-For-All match shown on TV before the main show. Billy Gunn was being pushed as a singles star but wasn’t yet in the “Rockabilly” phase that would lead him to eventually becoming “Bad Ass” and majorly over. He was up against Flash Funk aka 2 Cold Scorpio, an awesome worker that WWF could have done a lot with but instead put him in a goofy street pimp persona. Interestingly, the Godfather would use some of the persona for his own, far more successful act. The match was a bit rough but improved at the end with Funk getting a big splash but missing a follow-up and Gunn using a tornado DDT to get the pin.

The true opener was a four-team matchup with the winner getting a shot at the tag titles down the road. It was an interesting mix of teams to say the least: The Headbangers, who were mostly a joke team at the time but would actually have a brief run as champs later in the year; the Godwins were going from comedy faces to heels, which would actually lead them to a second title reign a few years later; Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon, a team that had potential but was lost in the WWF shuffle; and the New Blackjacks, comprised of Barry Windham in yet another bad WWF run and the future JBL. The match was rough with Blackjacks and Lafon/Furnas both counted out at about five minutes, leaving the Bangers and the Godwins. There would be a pretty cool bit where Mosh would do a bodypress to send Henry to the floor then launched Thrasher over the ropes to get him. In the end, Mosh hit a cannonball dive on Phineas to get the pin. Overall, an okay opener, if nothing major.

Up next was the Intercontinental title matchup. Rocky Maivia, the smiling babyface the fans couldn’t stand, had shocked everyone by beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley for the belt a month earlier. The Mania match was to be him defending the belt against Marc Mero, with Mero beating him down for the title. However, Mero suffered an injury that would keep him out of action for a year and hurt his career. So, scrambling, WWF came up with the Sultan, a masked Arab managed by the unique pairing of Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik (for the four or five of you who don’t know, the Sheik had ended Backlund’s six-year reign as WWF champion so the idea of them working together was unlikely to say the least). The Sultan, of course, was Solafa Fatu, enduring yet another bad gimmick before he’d finally hit it as Rikishi.

The match wasn’t exactly pretty as the Sultan was a slow mover and Rocky was detested by the crowd. That was always around but this night, the crowd just turned on the guy big-time. It was here the “Die, Rocky, Die!” chants began in earnest and you can tell Rocky had no idea how to react to that. I wasn’t among them as I could tell the guy had some potential, even if I didn’t know how big he would be. It is interesting to see that back then, Rocky was more of a technician and a high-flyer before a knee injury would curtail his ariel abilities. He would end up pinning the Sultan but was attacked by him, Sheik and Backlund. Rocky’s father, Rocky Johnson, raced in to help him clean house but the crowd just kept on booing. But the match would have much bigger consequences down the road as it would lay the seeds for his transformation into the Rock.

The following match was interesting. Hunter had been rising in the ranks at WWF for a while but hadn’t quite gotten any big heat on him. He was feuding with Goldust and during a match at the “In Your House” the month earlier, during a match between them, a hulking Amazonian woman reached from the crowd to choke Goldust’s “valet” Marlena. The woman attacked Marlena again on RAW and soon began to accompany Hunter to the ring under the name of Chyna, giving him some real heat. Like Rocky, it’s interesting to go back and watch the old work of Hunter before the injuries and such. He was still a damn good seller even then and it worked wonderfully as he let Goldust batter him around. It was actually a decent technical matchup but the crowd wasn’t as hot for Hunter as they would be in a year so it seemed dead. It ended with Goldust accidentally knocking Marlena into the hands of Chyna, who shook her like a rag doll. That allowed Hunter to get the pin and Goldust really went over the top moaning over his “fallen lady.”

The tag titles were on the line next with Davey Boy Smith and Owen Hart defending against Vader and Mankind. Keep in mind, Mankind hadn’t quite clicked as the hugely over guy we all know he would be. Smith was also the newly crowned European champion, having pinned Owen in the finals of a tournament in Germany, which threw some tension on them. A breakup had been teased but rumor was Bret Hart had prevented it from happening. It was a rare heel vs heel battle as the crowd seemed to be on the side of Owen, of all people. They ended up fighting on the floor with great stuff like Owen nailing Mankind with a belly-to-belly suplex on the floor. In the end, Bulldog hit Mankind with his powerslam but ended up getting a Mandible Claw. They went over the top and were counted out, a pretty cheap finish.

But the next match more than made up for it. Regardless of what you think of the card on the whole, this match made it all worthwhile and would prove to be one of the single most important matches in WWF history.

If you’ve read my retrospectives on Royal Rumble and No Way Out, you know the path that led to Bret Hart and Steve Austin doing battle. It was decided to make it an “I Quit” match which seemed to give Bret the edge. A wrinkle occurred a week earlier as Bret challenged Sid for the title in a cage match on RAW and people really wondered if WWF would be ballsy enough to change up the big show a week before it happened. This had the interesting dynamic in that Austin and the Undertaker both tried to help out their own Mania opponents so they’d get the title shot. Taker ended up smacking the cage door on Bret’s head, allowing Sid to escape and keep the title. As the cage was being taken down, Vince, still the commentator, tried to interview Bret, who shoved him down and went on a profanity-laced tirade about how he was being screwed. Austin ran down Bret for being a loser and the show ended with a massive brawl between all four men with security and half the local police department trying to pry them apart.

So this set up the big matchup and as much as watching it on video is gripping, actually being there was even more bizarre. I was with Bret as he came down although I gave Austin some applause. However, I did wield a handmade sign “Bret: Stop the whining, start the fighting!”, a sentiment I suspect many in the arena agreed with. The match was an unbelievable, wild brawl that spilled onto the stands immediately and you could tell there was real heat between these men. It’s fascinating to watch Austin before his neck injury and the obvious changes in his style as he’s more technical here. Bret gave as good as he got, including debuting the spot of a figure-four around the ringpost which Austin sold in agony. But when Austin came at him hard, the crowd started to back him. Something about this guy, his attitude, his toughness, it was a great refreshing shirt from Bret’s whiny persona. Chicago has always liked tough guys and Austin was definitely working that vibe that night.

I was unaware of how Vince was adding to the fun on his commentary with stuff like Bret having an excuse if he’d lose, which just shows how big a genius the guy is. Bret had Austin down, putting his leg into a chair and mounted the ropes, intending to leap off. Instead, Austin got up, pulled his leg out and smacked Bret with the chair to a huge pop. They fought more with Austin getting Bret down and trying to put him in the sharpshooter. Bret got out, which is a shame because the crowd really wanted to see it happen. Bret soon took charge, pounding on Austin mercilessly, smacking him on the stairs and the post. Austin fought back to choke Bret over the top rope with some cables but Bret smacked him in the head with the ring bell. That set up the sharpshooter and the infamous shot of Austin bleeding like a pig as he tried to fight out, yelling in agony. He did almost power out, which the crowd popped huge for but Bret hung on. Ken Shamrock, the special ref, kept asking Austin if he was quitting and Austin said no. Eventually, the bell was rung and Bret was declared the victor. It wasn’t as clear to the crowd that Austin hadn’t tapped but passed out from loss of blood and pain. But when Bret tried to do it again, the crowd booed him big-time and cheered when Shamrock suplexed him away.

Austin would get to his feet, stun a ref, and then walk out, bleeding and battered but still seeming strong. And the crowd was cheering for him huge, seeing a guy who was willing to fight no matter what, a refreshing change from Bret’s often whiny outer persona. That night changed everything for WWF as Austin was a true hero to the fans while Bret came off as a diva and no longer liked. It wasn’t only the best match of the card but the crowd was totally in for Austin and we all know what that would lead to.

Following that classic would be a toughie but WWF gave it their best shot. Ahmed Johnson had been feuding with Farooq and the Nation of Domination for a while. This included Savio Vega turning heel to attack Johnson and join the Nation and a great TV show battle where Johnson did his Pearl River Plunge bomb on D’Lo Brown on a limo. Farooq challenged Johnson to a Chicago street fight but it was clear this meant the full weight of the Nation (which also included PG-13 and Crush) would be free to attack him. So, in one of my favorite RAW mark-out moments, Johnson told Farooq to bring the Nation “cause I’m bringing the whole city of Chicago with me!” Cue the “What a Rush!” music and the Legion of Doom, who came through the crowd to a big pop and set up a fun battle.

The Nation came out with an array of weapons in shopping carts. Johnson was right with the LOD, who of course, got a huge pop from their hometown crowd, Johnson wearing the spiked shoulder pads. It was a complete and absolute brawl all over the place which was what the crowd wanted to see. There was Farooq getting slammed through an announcer’s table by Johnson, who in turn was hung by the NOD flunkies. There were several uses of fire extinguishers and Farooq getting yanked off the top rope and to the floor by Hawk. Finally, Crush was hit by the Doomsday Device and a 2X4 to give the LOD and Johnson the win. The aftermath was memorable as Animal and Johnson each held up a member of PG-13 and I still have the photo of Hawk sailing off the top rope to clothesline them both.

That left the main event which was about as up in the air as Helen Mirren’s Oscar chances. After all his years of loyal work to the company, there was no way the Undertaker could not win the WWF title from Psycho Sid. I know, Sid vs Taker isn’t exactly a classic but it did promise to be a fun big-man match and fans were overdue to see the Taker win the big one. Taker seemed ready for the occasion by going back to his classic “big hat, coat and gloves” outfit. Shawn Michaels came out to a good pop to do some commentary. Before the match started, Bret came out to yell at both men, especially Taker for taking “his” title match away. Sid got one of the biggest pops of his entire life by kicking Bret and giving him a power bomb. The match was about as slow as you’d expect from these two, with Taker breaking out the old-school stuff like walking on the ropes. There were several rest holds like bearhugs and a camel clutch that dimmed some of the excitement. The match would pick up as Bret would run out to hit Sid with a chair and be ejected. UT would fight back and try to set up Sid but Sid would counter to power-bomb him. Bret came out yet again and Sid would try to push him off the ring apron. However, Bret would pull Sid along the top rope, stunning him and giving Taker the chance to tombstone him and pin him to finally win the title. Despite the poor pacing and overbooked ending, the sight of Undertaker finally holding the WWF belt over his head sent everyone, especially me, happy.

So to many, Wrestlemania 13 may not seem one of the better ones but it’ll always be special to me as I was there. I felt the energy of the crowd, the special vibe, the spectacle that Mania gives you. That crowd decided so many things for WWF with Rocky and Austin, paving the way to them becoming the mega-stars they would be. I truly count myself lucky to have been there in person for the Bret/Austin match that would change everything and indeed for the card itself. I don’t care how rough a Wrestlemania may look. If you have the chance to go to one, do it. One way or the other, you’re witnessing history and it’s something every wrestling fan should feel at least once in their life.

Well, time to open up the mailbag. I’ll wait until my Wrestlemania columns are done to share mail on last week but starting off with my “Hearts and Headlocks” column. Matt Rawlik has this on one bit I had:

First off I just wanted to say I appreciate you and everyone else at 411 who takes the time to write the columns. I really enjoy reading them. I
was reading your Valentine’s Day column, Hearts and Headlocks, and I noticed that you mentioned the infamous “Sunny Days” comment. Well, and
as a Shawn Michaels mark this makes me proud, that Sunny & Bret never hooked up (well, if you believe Sunny.) Sunny did a shoot interview
where she explains where the rumor came from, and then tells how she and Shawn were in love. The story was long, so I just copied the link from
YouTube. So here it is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HkK4Cyyq-Y

Thanks for the link there. I’ve heard some condriticing stories on whether or not Bret and Tammy did hook up. Not sure if I can believe her totally just on her own word as I’ve never really heard of them as a serious relationship. But something to think on nonetheless.

Pete Khali talks about a comment I had on Ricky Steamboat:

Are you serious about Bonnie taking the trademarks and thus not being a Ricky Steamboat DVD, plus Dusty Rhodes is in the Hall of Fame this year, and I hear people pushing for Randy Savage to be inducted, but theres no mention of my favorite Ricky Steamboat being inducted please reply if you get this.

Sorry to say, but it does seem true. Yeah, they could put it out if they’re willing to pay her for royalties for the name but given how Vince seems to hate to spend cash on stuff like that, seems unlikely. I’d love to see Steamboat inducted but this might put a wrench in that too. Still, he works with the company well so there’s a chance.

Joseph Riedel took exception to something I had on Chyna:
“I would be remiss if I didn’t finish with the most notable real-life romance that spilled into the business which involves everyone’s favorite whipping boy, HHH. When he broke in WWF, he was in a relationship with Joanie Lauer, better known as Chyna. Keep in mind, back then, she was actually not that bad looking and her presence as his bodyguard did give HHH the heat he desperately needed at the time.”
You have got to be kidding. Chyna looked like Jaws from the old James Bond movies back then. I guess maybe she wasn’t too bad if you’re into the transsexual gas monkey thing.

Okay, not really hot but I guess I’m more of a sucker for women as they are naturally before she got the surgeries and the boob job and turned into a raving loon. Sue me for appreciating natural looks.

Moving onto my wrestling movies column, a lot of guys shared a few films I missed. First, Doug Clark:

Hey, wanted to make you aware of a semi great wrestling movie from 1985 called GRUNT! THE WRESTLING MOVIE, it has a premise where a guy does a guillotine drop on another wrestlers head while ties up in the ropes and it beheads the guy, this guy quits wrestling and then a few years later a masked wreslter with similar tattoos shows up and starts winning matches and the plot is “IS IT REALLY HIM?” there are some hilarious moments in the movie , The Russian report of what happened n the ring, the Human Pyramid, and others, MANY AWA, NWA, WWF Stars appear in the Battle Royal for the Title at the end (INCLUDING DANNY SPIVEY). If you havent seen it you should, Also, have you seen the Womens Wrestlers Documentary Piss and Vinegar, very good as well and gives good insite to the womens side of things and paints a pretty mean picture of Moolah.

I’ve heard of this but never found much info on it. A battle royal with cameos is a cool idea, might have to track it down along with that woman’s documentary.

Kyser Soze has another forgotten film:

Think you may have overlooked a real gem in the 1981 movie “All The Marbles” starring Peter Falk as crusty manager Harry Sears, Vicki Frederick and Laurene Landon as Iris and Molly. I’ve got it on VHS, and I’m waiting for it to be released on DVD.

I missed this but having checked some reviews, it sounds like a more fair-handed look at the business with a good story and acting. It sounds more like Rollerball in some respects but might be a treasure worth tracking down.

Both Robert Schwent Jr and Kim Bully pointed out the same omission:

In your article you forgot to mention Requiem (sp?) For A Heavyweight. It’s about a boxer who is washed up and has to become a pro wrestler to make ends meet. It totally breaks kayfabe and is still somewhat relevant today. It is based off a short story from Rod Sterling of Twilight Zone fame. In fact it
was orginally a Twilight Zone episode expanded into a 90 minute movie. It also has Muhammed Ali ,when he was still Cassius Clay, in it at the
beginning beating the tar out of the protagonist of the film. It’s an excellent movie and I highly recommend it. It’s probably the only movie with
wrestling in it that I would tell someone who doesn’t like wrestling at all to see. It’s simply a great movie for anyone to see.

Check out Requiem for a Heavyweight (1962), which tackled the business with Oscar worthy stars Anthony Quinn, Jackie Gleason and Mickey Rooney. Not a positive view of the wrestling business, but a good movie, I thought. A dim-witted, beaten-down, almost-was heavyweight boxer (Quinn) is no longer able to box after losing to Cassius Clay (as himself). However, his manager (Jackie Gleason) owes money to the mob, and Quinn’s character must decide if he will help his manager by making money as a professional wrestling.

Yeah, I did miss out on this one. I did feel it was more about boxing as it showed wrestling as a “joke” of a business to be ashamed of. Ironic, considering even lower-card guys do more athletic stuff in one month than most heavyweight boxers do in a year. Great all-around drama even if it does put the business in a slightly poor light.

Chema has another Stallone film I didn’t mention:

You forgot about another kinda old movie about wrestling, the Stallone movie “Paradise Alley” about the old school aspect of wrestling done in sort of kayfabe stile with Terry Funk as the big goon.
And there is a spanish language documentary “Vivir de Lucha”, that is also pretty good.

Apparently, even Stallone doesn’t want to remember Alley so I guess it shouldn’t be too surprising I forgot it. I have heard it has the old school stuff if it does present it as more seedy and Funk is memorable in his small role. Haven’t seen that Lucha documentary, I’ll have to check that out.

Finally, Jose D has the most recent wrestling movie I overlooked:

Your most recent article made for a very interesting read, but there’s 1 thing I’d like to know: why no mention of Nacho Libre?

Well, partly because it was more on Mexican wrestling than the North American business. More because it was just played so over the top for laughs, it wasn’t exactly a good look at the lucha spirit. A shame as that’s a genere that can really be fodder for some good film. And yes, I know I overlooked the movies starring El Santo but that’s less about wrestling and more about goofy superhero stuff.

Also around 411 this week:

Julian counts down the Top 10 Wrestlemania performers.

Screw-Job looks at Mania’s double-cross history.

That Was Then continues to look at Mankind.

The Goodness does a great analysis of TNA’s problems.

Just S’Pose concludes his look at a different NWA/WCW landscape.

Don’t forget Column of Honor, Triple Threat, High Road/Low Road, Ask 411, Hidden Highlights and the rest.

Next week, I backtrack a bit fifteen years to Wrestelmania VIII. For now, the spotlight is off.