The Goodness 03.07.07: The Non-Alternative

Two things before I get to my column. First, I am undertaking a detailed look at the past 22 WrestleMania shows on my TooMuchSports.com website, info to come at the end. Second, I have to mention this fun bit of wrestling knowledge I came across while watching ESPN Saturday afternoon. It was the Big South conference tournament game between Winthrop and VMI. During the game, the announcer told us that the Winthrop coach had bought an old Junkyard Dog action figure online and gave it to the player on the team after each game who played most like a junkyard dog. Is that neat or what? To add to the fun, the color commentator, certainly ESPN’s 8th or 9th-string guy, dropped JYD’s real name (Sylvester Ritter) and JYD’s old theme music (Another One Bites The Dust, by Queen). For a wrestling geek like myself, it was pretty cool. I guess you could say I “marked out” for it. I’m such a loser…

In the past month or so, my columns have been devoted almost exclusively to the WWE. In fact, during my time at 411wrestling.com, dating back to when I first started in the summer of 2004, nearly everything I’ve written about has been about the WWE. In recent weeks, I’ve received a few e-mails from readers wondering why I don’t write about TNA. They’ve even wonder if I’m just a WWE “mark” that refuses to give TNA a chance. I’m here to tell you I’ve given TNA a chance. I’ve watched more of their shows since Kurt Angle arrived than in their first, oh, five years combined.

The deal is simple: as it stands right now, I don’t like TNA.

This isn’t a knock against any of the performers or wrestlers in the promotion, some of whom are very, very talented. Obviously, someone like Samoa Joe would be a star in any promotion. Someone like Christian Cage just needed an opportunity to spread his wins and let the world see his talent. And some of the X-Division wrestlers have picked up where the WCW cruiserweights of the late 1990’s left off. But it just doesn’t add up. It’s tough to explain, though I will try, but Impact is just not an enjoyable show for me. I’ve never ordered a TNA pay-per-view and I don’t think I ever will. The problem is that TNA needs fans like me and other hardcore wrestling fans to buy into the promotion. There are those that have but, and this is only my general feeling, a large portion of wrestling fans just don’t like the product TNA is giving us and don’t buy it as a true alternative to the WWE.

Let’s start with what I feel is the biggest hindrance to TNA and that is their insistence on having a pay-per-view show every four weeks. Maybe it’s necessary for the company to stay afloat financially but it’s killing it creatively. How can you effectively build an entire card worth of feuds in less than a month with just four hours of television time? The answer is you can’t. Instead, matches and feuds get recycled quickly and stretch through pay-per-views. If you’re eagerly awaiting that first Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle match, you can miss the show. Why? Because the odds are really, really good that there will be a rematch that you’ll have to pay for too. The short period of time between pay-per-views also eliminates the possibility that TNA, whether on purpose or by accident, will stumble upon an epic feud. Look at how the WWE will have roughly six weeks, or about 30(!!!) hours of television, to build up WrestleMania. The WWE, for all its faults, knows how to build to a big show. Does TNA even have a big show? Has any match received more than a couple weeks hype? It hurts the product. And leads to the second big problem…

The Impact shows have become wrestling on speed. I know the Attitude era of the WWF and, to some extent, the Nitro era of WCW had that feeling too. But I never felt overwhelmed by an episode of Raw in 1999. Yes, it was fast-paced but it was realistically fast-paced, if that makes any sense. Watching Impact, it feels like there are 30 guys thrown on my screen in rapid fashion like someone throwing pieces of Silly Puddy at a wall to see if it’ll stick. Nothing gets developed during the course of the show, which in turn leads to nothing getting developed for the pay-per-views. It’s tough for me to follow and I really, really don’t feel like I need a pen and a pad to keep with a wrestling show. It should be much easier than that. What if TNA cut the roster, cut the pay-per-views to two hours and started to build an audience based on a fewer number of feuds and wrestlers? Is it really necessary to get everyone on a pay-per-view that less than 50,000 people are going to see anyway?

The most frustrating aspect of TNA for me is the inability to keep up with who’s face, who’s heel and who’s turned on who. In the WWE, you know where the top guys stand almost immediately. Even if you haven’t watched the WWE in two months, you can be fairly certain that Cena’s still the top face, that guys like Edge and Orton are bad guys and Mr. McMahon is still evil. Sure, there may have been some alignment switches throughout the roster but for the most part, it’s pretty similar. When a big star turns, it’s a big deal. In TNA, I just don’t know. What has Kurt Angle been in his TNA run? Does TNA even know? Do I cheer for Christian? Should I boo him? What the hell is Sting doing? I know the era of clearly defined “good guys” and “bad guys” has passed but there at least has to be some roadmap for the fans to follow in order to determine just what the hell is going on. So many things have rushed, so many feuds started and completed in the blink of an eye, that it’s tough to keep up with.

Let’s not forget that TNA has a serious, serious issue with being the WWE’s long-distance #2. Remember when the WWF was getting killed by WCW and did those embarrassing Billionaire Ted skits in 1996 that everyone hated? Or how the Vince Russo-led WCW tried to take shots at the WWF with Oklahoma and such? It’s a sign of weakness. That’s what VKM, Christy Hemme and others come off when they take shots. Why even acknowledge the fact you’re wrestling’s red-head step-child at the moment? Why not try to create your own identity? While I’m ranting, is this really the best way to use Christy Hemme? A former Playboy playmate, one of the few women to wrestle at WrestleMania and achieve moderate mainstream appeal? Really? A match with a fat guy in a tuxedo? Gee, I wonder why TNA isn’t getting everyone that watches Impact to buy their pay-per-views.

If I sound cynical or annoying it’s because I am annoyed at TNA. There is so much potential there. The six-sided ring is different and new. The promotion gives talent like A.J. Styles and Christian an opportunity to perform and shine that they wouldn’t get in the WWE. But they’re pissing it all away by trying to become WWE-lite. The individuality of TNA, whether it was the X-Division or matches like the King of the Mountain, are slowly eroded to the point I feel like I’m watching a bad episode of WWF Heat from 1998. Whether TNA’s innovations were good or bad, at least they were TNA’s, not an imitation of a company that is the undisputed king of professional wrestling. It’s no point trying to do what the WWE does better because TNA can’t. TNA needs to be its own company. It needs to put on better matches on Impact. It needs to move out of the “Impact Zone” and look like a real wrestling company. It needs to stop bringing in celebrities to get 10 seconds of airtime on an ESPN2 morning show no one watches. It needs to bring the wrestling fan what it wants: more wrestling. I’m just not very confident they’re going to do that.

As I mentioned above, on my website TooMuchSports.com I have started a look back at all the WrestleMania shows with five key points. I call it WrestleMania in Five and it will continue throughout the month. So please check it out.